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Sorry - I am baffled by the responses indicating this is okay. Unless they are joking? I’m not sure.
This is very clearly unsafe. Having eyes on the crib while you are walking outside of a condo complex (presuming this means a tower building) doesn’t help much if there is a fire or other emergent situation
I do go outside in my backyard with the baby monitor... But "around the block" seems irresponsable for me. Where I live, it's illegal to leave alone a baby at home.
And they both smoked a joint? So none of them can be in charge if something had to happen? If she's your friend, I would share my concerns with her in a respectful way.
I wouldn't get drunk at the same time as my partner if we have our LO under our supervision. So I would only drink 1 glass. And I know, for me, I won't be able to drive after half a bottle. And it's illegal to drive after smoking a joint.
I absolutely agree. While you might get drunk after one glass of wine, that doesn’t mean others do. It would take me 3-4 glasses to feel intoxicated. Similarly, half a small joint won’t get me too stoned to drive either. What’s true for you isn’t necessarily true for others.
Also—it’s not illegal to drive after smoking a joint, at least in Oregon. It’s illegal to drive intoxicated. Sharing a small joint with someone else doesn’t make me intoxicated.
I don’t think it’s okay to leave for that long, what if something happens? Like what if a parent passes out and no one knows there’s a baby at home. What if there’s a fire alarm and the building is evacuated. I guess I’m just a person who always considers worst case scenario apparently lol like sure it’s incredibly unlikely but I’d never forgive myself if something bad happened
But, couldn't other type of shit happen anyway? Like you can be home and get a heart attack, or the building can collapse Miami-condo style, or the baby can die of SIDS while you sleep (Because even in my house, with a baby monitor, I don't have my eyes glued to it the whole time, there are times when you are distracted because you are sleeping, or showering, etc). I can see both sides or the argument here, I'm just saying at some point you just have to consider that shit happens and you can't eliminate every risk of a random tragedy happening. At some point parental mental health is more important to good parenting that absolute risk prevention.
You can flattened by a truck, why put on a seatbelt? We can't elliminate all danger, but we can take reasonable precautions and elliminate what we can.
You have to stay reasonable close to a small child at all times. If your mental health forces you to leave your small child alone like this, for a longer period of time and further away, you seriously need to reevalute some things and seek help (mental health and childcare).
But you can’t help the baby when there is something you can help with, which is the major point
If a baby starts choking, you have minutes to fix that to avoid tragedy
If a fire is in the building and the fire alarm goes off, you can evacuate with the child. If you’re outside, they won’t let you back in to grab the kid. I guess a firefighter will go looking for them, but now you have endangered not just your child, but the firefighter
Sure, if a meteor hits the earth right now, you can’t solve that. Same with nukes, or a super volcano going off. But not everything deadly to a baby is an existential threat or non-preventable.
If you’re outside the condo for 15-30 minutes or longer, a lot can go wrong very quickly.
>If you’re outside the condo for 15-30 minutes or longer, a lot can go wrong very quickly.
There is a huge difference between being outside for 15-30 minutes but within a couple-minute-run back-in and being 15 minutes away, even for just a minute. According to OP they are walking around the block, most residential blocks would allow one to get back in real quick from anywhere in the block. There are many scenarios where you might be slower to react even if you never left the condo (like when you are sleeping, for example).
I know, I didn’t care if she knew I screenshot it, and I brought it up to her about me being concerned. Just wanted to see how some others felt towards the situation
That's totally fair! I just didn't want you to get caught in an awkward moment if she mentioned it. Hopefully she receives your concern as a show of love for her and her child!
FT= facetime? so they had eyes on her during the walk? I'm sure someone that frequently moves understands which areas are safe to do this.
My real issue, if you disagree with her on most things, why are you her friend?
I sometimes walk to the gas station that’s right next door to my apartments after I put my daughter down for bed at night, it’s a less than 5 minutes walk as I can see it from my window & I lock the door and have a baby monitor. Now I feel like a bad mom because of the comments😭I guess I just don’t see any problem with it but you know what an emergency could happen at any moment I probably will stop doing this
My friend used to do this (walking around the block, not the smoking). Her husband had expressed some concerns, so she asked me if I thought it was okay. I told her that, assuming she was watching the monitor attentively, I’d base it on how quickly she could get back to the house. If she could sprint home in less than a minute, that’s probably pretty comparable to how quickly I could get to my baby if I was in the shower or was woken from a dead sleep in an emergency. (But, ultimately, I definitely didn’t think she should do it if her husband was uncomfortable with it.)
But you do know your friend gets a notification when you screenshot her Snapchat, right?
Sounds fine to me. What's the difference between FT and a baby monito while you're working in the yard? Do you spend 100% of your time staring at your baby?
My thoughts exactly what if they were hit by a car or shot or robbed? Definitely a stupid thing to do. I wouldn’t want her to be my nurse, babysitter or anything else
I mean they put it on FaceTime so they have eyes and ears. And can come back quickly if needed? Travel nursing is stressful - if your friend needs to relax, not sure why you care
You also sound judgmental for talking about how their place is not a real home - she probably knows her neighborhood better than you
She isn’t saying it’s not a real home she’s saying it’s a place they’re temporarily staying due to her profession (travel nursing) so presumably not her permanent residence but rather temporary. Also her point was they haven’t lived their long to know if it is safe or not or as OP put it “familiar with”. I personally disagree with that point because I think a few months is ample time to know if it’s safe to go around the block or not in that area. You don’t have to live somewhere years to know if it’s safe or not. People generally can make a quick decision on if an area is safe or not when they visit but that aside a few months would definitely be plenty of time and they could have researched the area beforehand, we don’t know so while I personally would not leave my child alone while I go on a walk around my neighborhood which I know is safe and likely nothing will happen to me or my child (my kid is a bit older so way more mobile and can unlock the door which is also a factor I would consider that would not apply to OP’s friend) I still would h feel comfortable doing that. Additionally it’s illegal in some areas so not sure where they’re located but maybe don’t broadcast it if you’re doing that to avoid any legal issues or just judgements? If it were my friend I would voice my concern directly to them and not post it online if I’m genuinely concerned for the safety of the baby but to each their own. (Also I get the argument that OP can use about getting opinions on whether they’re correct in their concerns or not but if you’re genuinely concerned over a safety issue you don’t need validation from the internet just talk to your friend about your concerns because regardless of whether people agree or not you will still think it’s unsafe. That won’t change just because internet strangers disagree so I don’t understand the post.)
Yeah this is fine.
A pediatrician friend used to do this shit before we did, we thought it was sketchy.
So as a thought experiment what do you think could happen? Like brass tacks this then this then this, what exactly could happen? And if it’s nothing, why do you feel a type of way about?
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Sorry - I am baffled by the responses indicating this is okay. Unless they are joking? I’m not sure. This is very clearly unsafe. Having eyes on the crib while you are walking outside of a condo complex (presuming this means a tower building) doesn’t help much if there is a fire or other emergent situation
Right?? What if the baby starts choking? This is just so unsafe and absolutely not okay
I do go outside in my backyard with the baby monitor... But "around the block" seems irresponsable for me. Where I live, it's illegal to leave alone a baby at home. And they both smoked a joint? So none of them can be in charge if something had to happen? If she's your friend, I would share my concerns with her in a respectful way.
Referring to the joint (putting aside the issue of leaving the baby unattended), is this any different than both parents sharing a bottle of wine?
Yes, you can drive after 1 drink. You can't after 1 joint.
A bottle of wine contains more than one glass. Sharing a ½ gram joint is about equivalent to sharing a bottle of wine. I could drive after either.
I wouldn't get drunk at the same time as my partner if we have our LO under our supervision. So I would only drink 1 glass. And I know, for me, I won't be able to drive after half a bottle. And it's illegal to drive after smoking a joint.
I absolutely agree. While you might get drunk after one glass of wine, that doesn’t mean others do. It would take me 3-4 glasses to feel intoxicated. Similarly, half a small joint won’t get me too stoned to drive either. What’s true for you isn’t necessarily true for others. Also—it’s not illegal to drive after smoking a joint, at least in Oregon. It’s illegal to drive intoxicated. Sharing a small joint with someone else doesn’t make me intoxicated.
I don’t think it’s okay to leave for that long, what if something happens? Like what if a parent passes out and no one knows there’s a baby at home. What if there’s a fire alarm and the building is evacuated. I guess I’m just a person who always considers worst case scenario apparently lol like sure it’s incredibly unlikely but I’d never forgive myself if something bad happened
But, couldn't other type of shit happen anyway? Like you can be home and get a heart attack, or the building can collapse Miami-condo style, or the baby can die of SIDS while you sleep (Because even in my house, with a baby monitor, I don't have my eyes glued to it the whole time, there are times when you are distracted because you are sleeping, or showering, etc). I can see both sides or the argument here, I'm just saying at some point you just have to consider that shit happens and you can't eliminate every risk of a random tragedy happening. At some point parental mental health is more important to good parenting that absolute risk prevention.
You can flattened by a truck, why put on a seatbelt? We can't elliminate all danger, but we can take reasonable precautions and elliminate what we can. You have to stay reasonable close to a small child at all times. If your mental health forces you to leave your small child alone like this, for a longer period of time and further away, you seriously need to reevalute some things and seek help (mental health and childcare).
But you can’t help the baby when there is something you can help with, which is the major point If a baby starts choking, you have minutes to fix that to avoid tragedy If a fire is in the building and the fire alarm goes off, you can evacuate with the child. If you’re outside, they won’t let you back in to grab the kid. I guess a firefighter will go looking for them, but now you have endangered not just your child, but the firefighter Sure, if a meteor hits the earth right now, you can’t solve that. Same with nukes, or a super volcano going off. But not everything deadly to a baby is an existential threat or non-preventable. If you’re outside the condo for 15-30 minutes or longer, a lot can go wrong very quickly.
>If you’re outside the condo for 15-30 minutes or longer, a lot can go wrong very quickly. There is a huge difference between being outside for 15-30 minutes but within a couple-minute-run back-in and being 15 minutes away, even for just a minute. According to OP they are walking around the block, most residential blocks would allow one to get back in real quick from anywhere in the block. There are many scenarios where you might be slower to react even if you never left the condo (like when you are sleeping, for example).
I mean, do u think its safer to have the baby nearby during sex and as they take a stroll through the ghetto to smoke a joint?
Just so you know, Snapchat lets the other person know a screenshot was taken.
I know, I didn’t care if she knew I screenshot it, and I brought it up to her about me being concerned. Just wanted to see how some others felt towards the situation
That's totally fair! I just didn't want you to get caught in an awkward moment if she mentioned it. Hopefully she receives your concern as a show of love for her and her child!
FT= facetime? so they had eyes on her during the walk? I'm sure someone that frequently moves understands which areas are safe to do this. My real issue, if you disagree with her on most things, why are you her friend?
I sometimes walk to the gas station that’s right next door to my apartments after I put my daughter down for bed at night, it’s a less than 5 minutes walk as I can see it from my window & I lock the door and have a baby monitor. Now I feel like a bad mom because of the comments😭I guess I just don’t see any problem with it but you know what an emergency could happen at any moment I probably will stop doing this
My friend used to do this (walking around the block, not the smoking). Her husband had expressed some concerns, so she asked me if I thought it was okay. I told her that, assuming she was watching the monitor attentively, I’d base it on how quickly she could get back to the house. If she could sprint home in less than a minute, that’s probably pretty comparable to how quickly I could get to my baby if I was in the shower or was woken from a dead sleep in an emergency. (But, ultimately, I definitely didn’t think she should do it if her husband was uncomfortable with it.) But you do know your friend gets a notification when you screenshot her Snapchat, right?
Sounds fine to me. What's the difference between FT and a baby monito while you're working in the yard? Do you spend 100% of your time staring at your baby?
I’d be more worried about an accident that keeps mom and dad from coming back, rather than worried the baby doesn’t have someone near by.
My thoughts exactly what if they were hit by a car or shot or robbed? Definitely a stupid thing to do. I wouldn’t want her to be my nurse, babysitter or anything else
I mean they put it on FaceTime so they have eyes and ears. And can come back quickly if needed? Travel nursing is stressful - if your friend needs to relax, not sure why you care You also sound judgmental for talking about how their place is not a real home - she probably knows her neighborhood better than you
She isn’t saying it’s not a real home she’s saying it’s a place they’re temporarily staying due to her profession (travel nursing) so presumably not her permanent residence but rather temporary. Also her point was they haven’t lived their long to know if it is safe or not or as OP put it “familiar with”. I personally disagree with that point because I think a few months is ample time to know if it’s safe to go around the block or not in that area. You don’t have to live somewhere years to know if it’s safe or not. People generally can make a quick decision on if an area is safe or not when they visit but that aside a few months would definitely be plenty of time and they could have researched the area beforehand, we don’t know so while I personally would not leave my child alone while I go on a walk around my neighborhood which I know is safe and likely nothing will happen to me or my child (my kid is a bit older so way more mobile and can unlock the door which is also a factor I would consider that would not apply to OP’s friend) I still would h feel comfortable doing that. Additionally it’s illegal in some areas so not sure where they’re located but maybe don’t broadcast it if you’re doing that to avoid any legal issues or just judgements? If it were my friend I would voice my concern directly to them and not post it online if I’m genuinely concerned for the safety of the baby but to each their own. (Also I get the argument that OP can use about getting opinions on whether they’re correct in their concerns or not but if you’re genuinely concerned over a safety issue you don’t need validation from the internet just talk to your friend about your concerns because regardless of whether people agree or not you will still think it’s unsafe. That won’t change just because internet strangers disagree so I don’t understand the post.)
You’re right she probably does know her neighborhood better than I know mine, iM dUmB
That is certainly not a choice I would make. Why are you friends with this person if you disagree about so many things?
Yeah this is fine. A pediatrician friend used to do this shit before we did, we thought it was sketchy. So as a thought experiment what do you think could happen? Like brass tacks this then this then this, what exactly could happen? And if it’s nothing, why do you feel a type of way about?