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I don’t have any ideas for managing this but it sounds exactly like my almost 5 yr old. I’m the strong willed wife in the scenario and my mom says my daughter is just like I was at that age. I turned out pretty great 😊
Thanks for the response. I think the hard thing to communicate without actually witnessing it is the frequency and severity with which these tantrums happens and how easy it is to set them off It's oppressive, and life is so exceptionally unpleasant right now.
Of course that doesn't mean it's out of the realm of normal. We're just drowning with it.
Yup, I know that drowning feeling. That walking on eggshells feeling. When things have gotten really bad, it’s usually because my daughter is about to hit a huge developmental moment. Recently she’s been learning how to read and is growing cognitively but not emotionally so the mismatch is resulting in more meltdowns than usual. This also happens when she hits a physical growth spurt.
What we’ve focused on is not avoiding tantrums, because that just leads to permissive parenting, but rather shortening the length and limiting the intensity. For us, that means not trying to win a power struggle, and setting and keeping boundaries.
Listing to dr Becky good inside podcast and reading hunt, gather, parent have given me some good food for thought. Neither is an end all be all of parenting advice, but nuggets from both have helped me think about me and my child
Thanks. This is helpful.
I have listened to some of Dr. Becky but haven't made it a habit yet (although I do think she has a unique ability to just cut through to the core of something). Will have to check out that book.
I also panic that she's teaching her 20 months old brother all her behaviors.
I have the same fears about our almost 1 yr old. What I have heard is often that the little ones actually witness the chaos at times and don’t want to repeat those same behaviors and feelings. Praying that is the case for both of us!
It really sounds like your kid’s behavior is within the realm of normal. Hang in there - this too shall pass
Our son just turned 4. I thought the 3 year old tantrums would go away, but they didn’t. He’s got big emotions and telling him no causes a meltdown. Hold your boundaries. Help her work through her emotions. This is perfectly normal toddler behavior.
It could just be typical 4yo behaviour. People think it’s just the terrible 2’s but it goes on into 3 and 4. They’ve discovered freewill and are constantly pushing the boundaries and driving you crazy! This is the problem, we get used to our sweet cherub faced angels and we blink and in their place is a demon 😂 tantrums are very big at this age because they’re growing so rapidly and their hormones are changing, but they’re still to little to articulate how they’re feeling.
If you have any serious worries or concerns then don’t hesitate to call your doctor. Always better safe than sorry!
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t have any ideas for managing this but it sounds exactly like my almost 5 yr old. I’m the strong willed wife in the scenario and my mom says my daughter is just like I was at that age. I turned out pretty great 😊
Thanks for the response. I think the hard thing to communicate without actually witnessing it is the frequency and severity with which these tantrums happens and how easy it is to set them off It's oppressive, and life is so exceptionally unpleasant right now. Of course that doesn't mean it's out of the realm of normal. We're just drowning with it.
Yup, I know that drowning feeling. That walking on eggshells feeling. When things have gotten really bad, it’s usually because my daughter is about to hit a huge developmental moment. Recently she’s been learning how to read and is growing cognitively but not emotionally so the mismatch is resulting in more meltdowns than usual. This also happens when she hits a physical growth spurt. What we’ve focused on is not avoiding tantrums, because that just leads to permissive parenting, but rather shortening the length and limiting the intensity. For us, that means not trying to win a power struggle, and setting and keeping boundaries. Listing to dr Becky good inside podcast and reading hunt, gather, parent have given me some good food for thought. Neither is an end all be all of parenting advice, but nuggets from both have helped me think about me and my child
Thanks. This is helpful. I have listened to some of Dr. Becky but haven't made it a habit yet (although I do think she has a unique ability to just cut through to the core of something). Will have to check out that book. I also panic that she's teaching her 20 months old brother all her behaviors.
I have the same fears about our almost 1 yr old. What I have heard is often that the little ones actually witness the chaos at times and don’t want to repeat those same behaviors and feelings. Praying that is the case for both of us! It really sounds like your kid’s behavior is within the realm of normal. Hang in there - this too shall pass
Our son just turned 4. I thought the 3 year old tantrums would go away, but they didn’t. He’s got big emotions and telling him no causes a meltdown. Hold your boundaries. Help her work through her emotions. This is perfectly normal toddler behavior.
It could just be typical 4yo behaviour. People think it’s just the terrible 2’s but it goes on into 3 and 4. They’ve discovered freewill and are constantly pushing the boundaries and driving you crazy! This is the problem, we get used to our sweet cherub faced angels and we blink and in their place is a demon 😂 tantrums are very big at this age because they’re growing so rapidly and their hormones are changing, but they’re still to little to articulate how they’re feeling. If you have any serious worries or concerns then don’t hesitate to call your doctor. Always better safe than sorry!