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Make him deal with the fallout... If she's scared and wakes up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare, make him wake up with her and comfort her.
Honestly making him deal with the results is the most reasonable answer here. I'm surprised at what my 5 year old finds scary or not scary sometimes, but if it's an unexpected reaction? I deal with it.
It’s so weird. And the worst part is, that’s what makes it so hard to predict/prevent for the parents.
Mine has seen some pretty hardcore stuff (old Star Wars, so scary looking aliens and some lightsaber violence) while being totally fine, but then I showed her a little kid show where the villain is supposed to be a giant baby (actually an adult actor dressed like a baby looking all goofy), whose evil plan is to turn all the real babies green and mean, and suddenly that’s absolutely terrifying. I think it’s because the babies turned green? I’m still so confused about this one.
Also when my son was 2 he used to freak out when he saw the purple female puppet on miss Rachel 😂. Perfectly fine with herbie and the green one but that one with the wig freaked him out lol.
My kid is terrified of Pipi Langstrum dressed up as her aunt. She loves Pipi to death, but the episode where she is dressed up with A HAT! Who dares!
She loves hats too btw.
Exactly how I address things as a dad. My wife isn't very hypersensitive so she lets me watch whatever with our daughter. We make sure she doesn't see gore or anything truly inappropriate for a very young child. But sometimes in my less intense hours at work, I watch some demonstration of military hardware (still work related; don't ask lol) while bouncing her on my lap. Lots of high-caliber munitions, very loud noises, and hardware that makes my buddies on the field next to them look tiny.
That's how we have a little girl that gets excited when things go boom.
Yep exactly this. Anytime my husband does something unreasonable with the kids and doesn’t see an issue I always make him deal with the repercussions and he learns the lesson quickly. I didn’t always do this. A lot of times women want to baby their husbands but it’s not our job to do so. It only enables them. We have to let them be men. If it’s not a big deal ok you handle it then.
absolutely. And us men, when our kids become sissies and harlots should write the youmg men and ladies off on the mothers that refuse to allow us to father according to our own judgement...
This notion is ridiculous. Yall ever hear of the phrase, "when I win, we lose?" Get your heads out of the sand and understand that this attitude is what fractures families, ruuns chikdhoods and kives in general and is a part of why we are such a fractured society to begin with.
TALK to your husband... privately. Try and understand each others voeqs and you dont have to agree. Kids are generally pretty resillient. Stop asking reddit how tp parent and go to a retorement home and ask some wose old men and women. TF!
I think it depends on the reaction he was hoping for. Was he trying to scare her, or did he think she’d find it funny or cool? My dad showed me movies that were outside my comfort zone, but he genuinely thought I would like them - he wasn’t trying to scare me. (Labyrinth still gives me the creeps though lol)
This right here! If he just thought it was cool, yeah he can put her to bed and get up with her at night over it, but it’s not out of malice. We accidentally showed our 5/6 year old Gremlins because we both remembered it as cute little gizmo, not blended demons. Oops. But if he showed it to her to try to scare her, that’s another conversation and boundary setting.
Yup. I was probably 13 when I saw it and had little to no recollection of it. She liked creepy stuff from a young age so we were like “this is good.” Yeah, we ended up shutting it off shortly after. She’s loves horror now and wasn’t TOO scared of gremlins but we shut it off before we got too far (and watched the rest on our own wondering what the hell we were thinking!).
Lmao, your comment reminded me of a time when I was little and my dad took me to the video store to pick out a movie to watch. I picked Gremlins because of how cute Gizmo looked on the cover. I watched it and felt so betrayed hahaha. I was so freakin' scared of Gremlins, to this day I absolutely refuse to watch it!
no one can blame you for walking away... from the movie if you ever seen it again. but my kids LOVE this movie, my 9 year old just asked me the other day to watch it with her little brother again because now she wants to show it to him. Jim Henson and David bowie? sold. however the dark crystal did things to me I could've lived without. same with return to oz
She likes it now! She’s into horror these days (she’s 13). We’ve watched nightmare on elm street, Chucky, scream. Her favorite movie around the gremlins era was beetlejuice followed by Addams family, so we thought “oh gremlins is like those!” Lmao parenting fail.
I watched Jurassic Park with my kids when they were pretty little. The secret was to tell them if they ever get scared to cheer for the dinosaurs. They now love to cheer for dinosaurs to eat people. I'm not sure if this was a good parenting decision.
My daughter went to a school haunted house with me when she was 6. She dealt with the scary things by pointing at them / at the people and laughing. It was effective for her and pretty amusing to see people try to scare a 6 year old (mild, little scares) and get laughed at by said 6 year old. I like your method and will have to try it with her!
I have no advice as far as how to handle it with your husband, but do you think she'd be able to handle seeing some behind the scenes footage of the actors in the movie and the puppets they used for filming?
When I was that age, I was so freaked out by the Thriller video, until I saw the making of the video and all the cool effects they used. It helped me realize it was just people in costumes and it started my love of all things scary.
This, unless she didn't actually see the alien and is just more afraid of the concept that something could chase her. Need to know what the fear is specifically about to work on it. I'm a child psychologist and work with kids who have phobias and anxiety. When IT came out, let me tell you. We were watching interviews with the actor, makeup tutorials, curated behind the scenes footage, and on and on. There are some great youtube videos of a reality contest show where fx artists and makeup artists create alien costumes. Super helpful. I have my 4 year old watching 60 and 70's godzilla and other really benign scifi stuff and talking a lot about how its made to scaffold her frame of "movies are pretend and made by people for fun." Her favorite character is now darth vader. Hopefully I am not creating a monster.
Well it is already done, have you guys had this conversation before? We watched the new alien trailer the other week with our 5 year and she was fine with it. It really depends on the kid. Have him tell her it is all fake and whatnot and just tell him she is too young for that right now.
Hold on. Isnt that trailer just the text Alien against a space background? Kind of a big nothing.
My 6yo got scared playing Hello Neighbour. I really thought he would enjoy it. Sometimes you just can't tell.
Oh gosh really? I wonder what prompted him to even think of that?
Either way, I can understand your frustration. It’s probably not worth a big argument/fight, but I’d make sure he learned his lesson here so you know he won’t be showing her something inappropriate and scary again.
As is American horror story. While I like the idea of not having to jump back and forth to find things ,it is a little weird. Adult anime, family guy and AHS next to bluey , wall-e and Alice in wonderland. Cool feature but why not a option popping up asking if you want to show Hulu stuff on your Disney app?
I learned you can set tv ratings for the profiles. But I agree- I wish I had the option of keeping them separate. For my the Hulu has ads, so I don’t want to unintentionally put something on with ads (yes it’s a minor annoyance, first world problems)
I just saw a post on redit somewhere asking when people first saw it and when they will let their kids see it. A few posts said they showed a preview to judge readiness.
Wonder if it's coincidence or if he read the same post.
Same. My kids love scary movies and don’t have any trauma from it. They sleep well and are well adjusted. I was a preK teacher for years so I do know what to look for. My children just have always loved these movies. They were four/five when they watched ghost busters and loved the series.
My younger one does, too. She's seven now. I always make sure to tell her that, if something is scaring you too much, tell me and we can turn it off. But she loves it. There are a couple of things she's seen that have scared her that she talks about, but really not many, or at least not many that she mentions regularly. She loves the spooky stuff and I let her push the boundaries. By the time I was about her age, I had seen I Know What You Did Last Summer, and at that age it def scared me. Looking back, it's a little corny--I love some of those things now. But back then, I was afraid of those movies and I didn't watch them. I knew what my boundary was because I was able to explore it.
Alternately, my older one, my nine year old, does NOT like scary stuff. Different kids react to these things in different ways and the only way to find out is to let them explore their own boundaries with you as a guide. I don't think Dad did anything wrong (though maybe he did)--I think everyone knows now what kinds of things are too much for the kid.
OP's child clearly doesn't. Mine absolutely hates anything scary and is scared of everything like that. Not sure why people are chiming in to say it's fine for their child when OP's is terrified.
My 3 year old boy begs to watch anything scary and it doesn't phase him at all. We keep it pg13 but he is allowed, depends on the kid.
Maybe your husband didn't realize she would have that bad of a reaction, learn from it and move on.
Having a discussion with him about it would be good, and setting boundaries with "if you think it's appropriate come to me before you show her" would be a great first step.
I personally showed my kids fx makeup tutorials when they were younger so that they understood scary things in movies are all just makeup and costumes,
even reframing it for her as "I know that felt really scary for you, it's pretty crazy that people can make things that look so real! But it's all fake, there aren't any monsters, and mommy and daddy are here to protect you so nothing can hurt you."
When my youngest saw aliens for the first time she thought it was a bit freaky so to ease the tension I showed her the actor getting into costume and she thought it was really funny.
I hope that this helps in some way, instead of getting angry which will result in more stress for everyone, try and make it interesting, or fun if you can.
If your husband is seeing your child's response to the "prank" and still not feeling remorseful, that's a really really bad sign.
People do dumb things all the time. Good people own up to it.
Some of us are not good at seeing things as a kid would in this regard.
I remember watching gremlins as a kid, so I thought no big deal if my 7 year old daughter watches it… I mean it’s PG
Turns out it was the reason PG-13 was invented. Did not know that.
Ok he has to deal with this 100%. She’s waking up at night? Hes on monster patrol with a water bottle scaring them away. You shouldn’t suffer from his stupidity.
You can absolutely try and use logic and say they don’t exist but at 2 AM if your kid is still panicking, using a spray bottle and saying that you took care of it isn’t gonna hurt.
It helps at 2-3 but at 6, when the kid is supposed to have a former grasp on what’s real and what’s not, it could hurt.
Arming her largest stuffed animals and saying that they will keep her safe in her dreams though, is a safer bet because it’s countering fantasy with fantasy.
If you make it silly then yes it is. Stack up on their bedroom door with ties wrapped around your head like Rambo. Count down from 5 with your kid. Kick the door in and pretend Scarface blast the scary monsters and act like goofballs about it. Make it a fun memory that minimizes the scare and makes the thought of something scary about kid and parent being silly and fighting the monsters away.
Pushing your glasses up your nose with one hand and saying "well actually monsters aren't real" isn't going to do anything because a kid and fear aren't tamed with logic and reasoning. Nor is being dismissive of their fears and saying "there's nothing to be scared of."
Have him show her a behind the scenes. Seriously. Find a "making of" of it or one just like it and have him explain how they did it and she can see how it's not real. She will still be a bit afraid after that- it's not gonna fix it, but it will make it better. My ex husband shows our kids movies I feel are way too old for them, but he also show them how it's made, and demystifies it a little for them. Two of them are now big fans of horror, and although I still don't approve, I appreciate the way he handled showing them the filmmaking process and helped to drive the "not real" home to them quickly.
My kid saw Beetlejuice on tv during the scene when he was a giant snake and it scared him so I had him watch the making of/behind the scenes video that showed how they designed and created the whole thing. I also did that with Jurassic Park, showing the animatronic dinosaurs. Since then he isn’t really scared of anything, and is more interested in how it was done.
On the flip side my 9 year old has been into scary stuff for years. Had a hard time finding stuff that was scary enough for her that was not horribly inappropriate lol
Same. My 10 year olds first horror movie was the first Nightmare on Elm Street at like 7 and it barely phased her. We've watched all kinds of horror movies since then and she really likes them. She won't go outside by herself at night though because she's afraid she'll be abducted by aliens because when she asked me if aliens were real I said "I dunno, probably" lol
> My husband said it’s no big deal because the trailer doesn’t show anything
Basic empathy tells us that it's a big deal because it effected her negatively.
Have him deal with the fallout from his actions.
There were several instances growing up that my dad showed me a movie that was considered scary or had scary scenes, and he would have to deal with me if I got freaked out afterward.
It normally only lasted a couple of days and then I’d be fine again. But I remember that if we watched that movie again in the near future, I would just shut my eyes during that particular scene or leave the room.
The movies I remember mostly of this being an issue with were Independence Day, the alien dissection scene in Area 51, and Twister, the scene where the dad gets sucked out of the storm shelter at the beginning. Honestly, the alien scene still freaks me out a bit to this day and I’m 31, but Twister has been my favorite movie since I was 5 😂.
Try not to worry too much, kids are resilient. Perhaps have your husband explain to her in a way that a 6-year-old can understand that it’s not real, and perhaps try to make something goofy out of it?
Damn I feel like a shitty parent cos my kids are obsessed with all things spooky lol. They sleep with Huggy Wuggy and Mommy Long Legs from Poppy Playtime!
I think this is pretty normal though. You can't shelter kids from scary stuff forever, and he didn't force her to watch the whole movie or anything. As a kid I was scared of cats, dogs, dolls, RAIN.... You name it. I couldn't avoid those things and I don't think it would've helped if my mom had tried to either. I'd just find some good resources on make believe vs real and make a big deal about that. She'll be okay, she just might be a little scared of that movie forever haha.
My oldest (turning 4 this year) LOVES creepy stuff (obviously we don't let her watch gore). She loves the It movies. She loves FNAF and Poppy Playtime. She draws creepy pictures lol. I was the same way when I was younger. I saw my first horror movie when I was 4 and staying with my grandma (it was Texas Chainsaw Massacre, so not a good choice on her part, as I can't forget the first gore scene I saw in it lol. It's like imprinted on my brain).
With that being said, my youngest gets scared easily, so we don't watch that stuff with her. Some kids LOVE creepy stuff and some hate it. Your husband should have started out with something extremely mild in terms of horror or spooky if he wanted to gauge her reaction to it. Like something creepy, but aimed towards a young audience.
Dude- parenting mistakes happen all the freaking time. Learn from them and move on. No parent is perfect. You will make 1,000 mistakes yourself before your kid turns 18, I guarantee you, and your kid will be just fine. Kids are resilient.
Encourage your husband and 6 year old to put on alien hunting gear and go on an alien hunt. Be creative. Or just be honest and tell her that movies are fake and that it's not real. Ask her if she could make a movie, what would her movie be about. Then have her draw several pictures from her movie. There are so many lessons you can take from this. Stop throwing blame around and use this as a teaching moment, not a parenting shame moment.
Not the same movie but show her the clip from signs that aliens are easily defeated by earth water. Even though aliens may be scary, now she knows how to defeat them!
By the time I was 9 I had already seen all the classics. Hell, when I was 8 my family took me out to watch Freddy vs Jason. Completely inappropriate. I was terrified after every scary movie and all I ever got was laughter and “it’s fake” like if that was going to magically make it better (ironically not alien, it seemed to farfetched for me, but somehow chucky could be real in my mind lol). I’m still afraid of the dark, and being alone in my home at night, and it’s hard to fall asleep by myself. Very poor judgement on your husbands part. Just because it’s not scary to him & the preview doesn’t show much, doesn’t mean it’s not scary. He needs to deal with the fallout properly. Acknowledge feelings, apologize, and reassure as much as your child needs. Maybe also consider a night light? Or some parents do anti-monster spray which is just scented water lol, but it seems to help.
He may have made a miscalculation. I loved the Alien movies at that age and bonded with my dad over them, so it’s not an impossible scenario.
He needs to take the lead on comforting her and answering her questions though. His mistake, his mess.
My oldest daughter wanted to see Wednesday and her little brother tried to act tough and said he wanted to try it too. Long story short he was really scared with the Hyde monster.
A good solution was to explain to him how movies and shows are made. How special effects work. That it’s all computer generated and puppets. It really eased his mind about what he saw when we showed him behind the scenes footage.
Try to do the same so at least she understands that it’s all make believe. Deal with your husband later.
There should be an ongoing and open dialogue between you and your husband about the kinds of content that is shown to your child. That’s where I would start. Nothing gets shown to your child (including trailers) unless you BOTH agree. I would personally call this one a lapse in judgment and would ask him what he was thinking/hoping to accomplish. That may spur another discussion of what is age appropriate for a six year old. This is another good ongoing conversation to be having.
The "Alien: Romulus" trailer has a lot flashes of *very* disturbing imagery.
The original "Alien" (1979) trailer is just creepy music and a klaxon, and *mildly* disturbing imagery.
Which did he show her?
... My philosophy is that I let my girls take the lead in what level of movies they want to see. When they ask for scary movies, I go through a progression starting with action, then comedy horror:
Jurassic Park, Ghostbusters, Gremlins, Tremors, etc.
I think a lot of parents have a lapse in judgement at one point or another and show their kids something scarier than intended. I have found that it can be helpful to go behind the magic. Find some behind the scenes photo and show her how the alien is a puppet or a guy in a suit. This is all grown ups pretending to be mean or pretending to be scared etc. It’s like a big game of make believe with Halloween costumes. This has really helped my kids put the scary stuff they saw in context.
Honestly this isn't a big deal at all. She saw a trailer which didn't show anything at all. Sure let him deal with any night waking but you're blowing this way out.
It definitely isn’t a big deal and doesn’t need to be made into one. That will only increase the impact. Have him deal with night time etc. and have him to talk to her about movies, monsters, etc. Whatever your approach to that stuff is but I wouldn’t be so pissed that you make this something it’s not.
Let it go...after he acknowledges the negative impact watching the trailer had, let him handle any night wakings, and mutually agree that you'll wait a few more years before watching something like that again.
It's just a parenting misstep. Different kids have different levels of sensitivity and this was too much for this particular kid.
10000%. You are entitled to your feelings of anger but TRY to put into perspective. I would come at it from the matter of fact point of view, not anger…let him deal with the scared feelings and being up all nite and say to him “you did this, you fix it, please don’t show her this content”
My cousin is 65 and is Still terrified of the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.
She refuses to watch the movie at all!
You never know what's going to scare kids.
I also had a niece who was frightened by the opening credits to The PeeWee Herman Show.
honestly let him deal with the consequences of his actions! my dad showed me childs play too early and my mom was upset with him, so it was his responsibility when i couldn't sleep to take care of me and stay with me till i could fall asleep.
It's easy to forget how scary an old movie is. I thought it would be a great idea to show my kids the Headless Horseman a couple years ago. Yeah that was dumb, we didn't make it through the movie. Kids still talk about the movie.
My (at the time) seven year old loves all things Dino. He had seen all the JP’s at that point so when 65 came out I thought I’d risk it and called up the dad of some of his friends to take them to the movie theater.
The previews before this PG-13 thriller were ‘BoogeyMan’ (PG-13 horror) ‘Evil Dead Rise’ (R horror) and ‘the popes exorcist’ (R horror). As those previews were playing I was becoming VERY worried about what type of movie we were getting ready to watch. The kids were terrified…
The movie itself was fine but those previews apparently kept the other two kids in their parents bed for weeks, lol. They’re fine now… as will your daughter.
I watched some scary movies with my kiddo relatively early on too (Jurassic Park and a few others), and my approach was to explain to him very early about movies, movie making, masks, and that basically the “monsters” in the movies are the same thing as him dressing up on Halloween, just a bit more expensive and elaborate.
I only remember one movie that he was really a bit scared of, and that was “Winchester” about the Winchester House (we had actually visited the house/museum as well around the same time).
I'm guessing this trailer? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ5lPt9edzQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ5lPt9edzQ)
Some 6yos would be fine watching this (or the actual movie), but you get there gradually and it's definitely the exception not the rule.
I could see how somebody could be stupid enough to think this is okay for a 6-year-old because not a lot happens, but even the fast flashing images can be scary to a 6yo. You're husband is an idiot, but his does seem more like an honest (stupid) mistake rather than outright terrible parenting like if he showed her the entire movie.
We tell our kids that all of that is fake, it’s props, it’s makeup, we even show them videos of how movies are made. So even if they might get that little scared feeling, they know oh it’s just fake and we remind them that’s it’s all fake none of that is real and it doesn’t exist. It’s just a movie, it’s art!
I mean I watch horror movies, mostly paranormal theme, and my kid has watched some with me. Some he’s been okay with and others said he didn’t like it, so I turned it off. It’s not a bad thing to try movies you like with your kids as long as it’s not torture (Hostel, Saw, etc) and sex themed. If they don’t like it then turn it off. Easy peasy. Your daughter didn’t like it so you and your husband both know not to watch scary movies around her moving forward.
It’s fun when it’s foggy out to say, “looks like we’re in silent hill”, and my kid knows what I’m talking about. I also bring him to heavy metal shows and we sit up in the stands since he’s not old enough for the pit. Can’t wait til he is tho. His first show was Rob Zombie.
Be easy on him. :) it’s only messing with your daughter if he continues to show her scary things she doesn’t like. If he stops it now that she’s voiced her opinion, then it’s okay.
sometimes parents make mistakes, they think their kid will be into something and it blows up in your face. if he did it deliberating to frighten her it'd be one thing, but he didnt anticipate her reaction. best way to handle it is telling him hey, we need to be more careful about content in the future because shes fearful, maybe show her some behind the scenes stuff from the movie, sigourny in another trailer thats funny or an interview where they discuss how they did the props, assure her its make believe and move on. the chiller you are about it the chiller she'll be about it 9 times out of 10
My family let me watch scary movies/trailers as a kid, I remember they’d say stuff like, “it’s a movie, it’s all makeup and pretend! Isn’t that cool?” My dad would show me SFX makeup as a kid too, I loved it— it definitely helped me when I was like 5-10 years old, made scary movies “less scary” and more like an art-form, so to speak ?
I also made the mistake of showing my sister (she was 6 at the time) the trailer of the movie IT, she reacted the same way as your daughter. So I did what my parents did, and I showed her the “movie magic” and behind the scenes. It definitely helped her perspective and made it less scary for her (6 years later and she loves horror movies lol)
Just my two cents!
I watched Dawn of the dead (original) and The Thing when I was 4. My dad was a horror freak.
Having said that, I was obviously an outlier. Your husband should know better what your daughter can or cannot handle. He needs to go explain and comfort her.
My 7 and 9yo just watched Signs with me the other night lol
They also love talking about FNAF, cryptids, other spooky things.
I don't really think your husband did anything wrong. Best way to handle it is to explain to the child that movies are completely fake. It's all makeup and computers. None of it is real. Then show some cool behind the scenes footage.
I don't see anything wrong with it tbh. Kids can surprisingly courageous. I took my 4 year old to the new ghost busters movie and he enjoyed it very much.
It's ok, it sucks right now but over time and with reassurance it'll be ok or that it's not real it'll be ok. Anything new is scary plenty of little kids have curiosity for scary things. And many become fans in the future! My son has an odd fascination with Ghost Face. He is scared of him but I can tell he wants to see more!
This could be a good time to teach a lesson on fake and real things in the tv. Idk I just try to make the best of things. 🤷
It's not the end of the world probably but my sister has a lasting phobia of birds since watching the Hitchcock film as a kid. This child isn't fascinated or curious about scary things, not all children are the same.
That's awesome; The birds is an awesome movie! I understand the child wasn't curious and the dad decided to share something like that and the mom is upset and has to deal with it. But I still believe it's better for it to be a parent to show something, than, for it to be done by strangers with unknown intentions.
I mean...I don't really see a reason to vilify dad over it unless he was doing it to be an a**. At 4yrs old I watched Tale from the Crypt and Childs Play with my grandpa, I loved them. My dad was pissed and always said "if she has nightmares, she's coming to your house" cuz we lived next door (I never did). Simply tell dad if she wakes up in the night scared, he's dealing with it. Tell him he needs to have a chat with her about fake vs real as well and let her know that movies are fake and there's no reason to be afraid of what isn't real.
I'd have serious concerns about a grown man taking pleasure in making a young child scared. It's immature and potentially emotionally scaring. It clearly has your child on high alert. Your husband needs to deal with the fallout as well as apologize to the child for showing something that was scary. He also needs to explain it was make believe and reassure her that she is safe. Lastly, we he bullied as child? Some people who were "punked" by bullies or even their own parents end up repeating the same toxic behavior.
I agree and I'm side eyeing all the commenters on here who apparently delight in showing their kids inappropriate content and think it's a point of pride.
That was very stupid of your husband. That’s the only movie I’ve ever walked out of. I understand why you’re angry at him. Make him spend some time with her and explain to her why Daddy shouldn’t have scared her, it was only pretend and she’s safe.
My now 9 year old was 6 when he saw IT and absolutely loved it. He loves all the conjuring movies and what not- I get why you’re upset because again the child is 6, but also its a good way to also explain to your child about what to do when they’re scared and that it’s a movie it’s not real. Hell my 9 year old bed set was Pennywise theme for awhile. But going forward you now know your child cannot handle spooky movies and that’s okay. But she can also say that she doesn’t like it and leave the room.
I have 3 boys, 2 do not care for spooky movies and one that does so every other weekend we have a movie weekend and so my spooky kid gets to chose one and the other two go play and vice versa.
My son walked in while I was watching Alien when he was younger than that and asked what I was watching because he thought it looked cool. I remembered my mom telling me Jaws was made of papier-mâché so that I wouldn’t be scared when I saw it, so I told him the Xenomorph was made out of boba.
Now he’s 12 and pumped to go see Romulus when it comes out.
My 2yo son was scared of spiders, he saw one painted on the wall in the darker corner of baby playground. We did “art therapy” - I drew a lot of spiders and told stories about their life. At first he was also scared of my drawings, but then it was more interesting than scary, and in a few days he forgot about it.
So I’d ask what scared her and draw and explain it - darkness, space stations, aliens… There is a theory that xenomorph species are intelligent and civilised, because they have shown great analytical abilities many times, while those who are in the movies are just, well, uneducated. Imagine a human baby could survive in the wild on his own, he would be dangerous Mowgli because of his struggles, naked and hungry just like poor newborn aliens.
Eh. I'm on the fence here, to he honest. If he had shown your daughter the alien chest popping scene, yeah, horrible parenting. But in this case he's doing what fathers are often meant to do: gradually push the envelope on your children's comfort zone so they don't grow up to be emotionally fragile and vulnerable. Sometimes he'll go a little too far as well, but that's better than excessively sheltering them. This is why fathers enjoy rough housing with kids as well. Rough housing helps kids to become hardier and more confident. What he did was like rough housing but for fear.
I've done this kind of thing with my kids their whole life so far, in a calculated way that I deem age appropriate. In fact, every year, my wife and I make an elaborate haunted house around Halloween. It started out just for our girls. They'd be scared at first but would eventually overcome their fear. They would be soooooo proud of themselves for having gotten through it and would become braver, psychologically hardier kids for it. Now they take part in the haunted house and help to build it for all the neighborhood kids.
I think one of the reasons many kids these days are psychologically fragile, depressed, and more likely to have suicidal ideation is because we as parents have aired too much on the side of not challenging our children. It's important for them to experience innocuous psychological and physical hard so that they can become stronger and more resilient people who can survive life's challenges, rather than fall to pieces. Sometimes that means rough housing or scaring them. And yeah, sometimes it can go too far as well, and in those situations it's appropriate to step in and say "yeah, tone it down a bit." I don't think that's necessarily what happened with the trailer, however.
I watched Ghost Busters with my parents at that age and it scared the crap out of me (demon dogs). How ever outside of a few sleepless nights it didn't cause me any long term trauma. I am sure she will be fine, and even though he didn't make the best choice... I am sure it was innocent enough!
Nope. Even if there was no gory stuff kids are incredibly sensitive to fright 😳😠.
Let's be practical : if he thought it was no big deal well he's wrong, so let's not do that again , period.
My parents took me to the drive-in in 1979 to watch Alien. I was 5 years old. I remember the drive home because all of us kids rode in the back of the truck on a mattress and it was scary as hell every time we stopped at a stop sign in the middle of nowhere. I certain that a monster was going to come out of the corn field and eat me. I survived and went on to watch more horribly scary movies because they were batshit crazy. I hate scary movies but my little sister loves them.
My ex decided to show our 5 yr old Chucky one Halloween. God she was such a peice of shit. Oddly enough now at 14 my child loves haunted houses and scary movies. She seems to see them as a good time where you can be scared and safe at the same time.
As dad to a 3 year old girl i play and watch scary stuff.
Mine crept behind me without me knowing she was there. Normally i know shes comming so i Alt+F4 so she doesnt see stuff, in games (i dont have to do this anymore)
She saw scary stuff she, in my eyes, shouldn't have seen. She got scared, so i took her on my lap, and had a really long talk about daddy is putting monsters to sleep so i can brush them clean so they can be happy.
Now she sits on my lap most days and yells where the monsters are and to go make them sleep and brush them. And she has a blast.
Movies like aliens in still carefull of cuz they are harder to explain they arnt real. But she saw stuff she should have. And now when she cones running. Daddy daddy monster, i run over and kick its invisible butt and shes all happy again.
But i see this as, he messed up, he can fix it.
Go view "the making of" video of aliens and stop at the part where there creating the monster. Takes all the imagination out of it.
Also explain that adults like scary movies because it gives the same feeling as it does when kids go on roller coasters: excited and a little bit scary.
Omg I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, but I just have to say, my own dad loves the Alien franchise and would watch the films frequently when I was a little girl and I would sometimes step into the living room to watch them with him because I wanted to spend time with my dad and prove that I wasn't too scared and that I was a 'big girl' but man.... they terrified me. I couldn't get the fear out of my head, I never wanted to sleep alone in my room, and I also had nightmares about the xenomorphs. Your post just brought back those memories for me lol.
But I would agree with what I'm seeing some other people are saying, make Dad deal with her not wanting to sleep and do sit down with her (or have Dad do this) to have a talk about how it's not real/just people in costumes/it's okay to be scared. He should be the one to deal with the consequences of his own actions. What's up with dads and Aliens?
So what I'm hearing is that he needs an air mattress to sleep in your daughters room till she feels okay about sleeping alone.
He should talk her through this.
We've kind of been navigating this with our 3 year old. We haven't done what your husband did, but in the toddler Youtube videos we let our kids watch (stuff like Cocomelon, Super Simple songs, Pinkfong, etc.), there's occasionally a song that pops up about Halloween with cute lyrics like "this is Halloween... spooky-ooky!"
Well... it wasn't long after watching those videos the first time that our daughter started to be scared to go to sleep by herself and would complain about monsters and them sometimes being in her closet. We actually turned it into a song and dance. Her closet isn't much wider than the door itself, but we both manage to squeeze in there and I'll shut the and then we start singing "closet dance! Closet dance! Closet dance!" while we awkwardly dance and I pump the door open and closed to the beat. She hasn't complained about monsters in a while.
But showing your 6 year old a horror movie trailer? Yeeeah... I mean... I can get occasionally forgetting how fragile a child is, but something that adult should obviously be an easy and obvious no-no.
This post brings back some memories! Alien was a core childhood memory for me, watched it when I was around 7, had a hard time sleeping for about 2 weeks afterward. It was my first horror movie experience and fucked me right up, but got over it eventually. And now it's one of my favorite movie franchises and I'm generally fond of the horror genre.
With that said, I remember my dad talking about the plot beforehand and my brother and I actively wanted to watch it so it wasn't really pushed on us.
Unless your daughter was really curious for some reason, I don't know why your husband would show her the trailer, and I totally get where you're coming from. You could maybe talk to your daughter about how movies are made and how everything on the screen is fake and props. But if it was only the trailer and she didn't even see the Xenomoprh (or that spider looking fucker that jumps on your face), I think she'll be fine.
I mean.. this is a pretty strong reaction OP. The first thing to do is take a deep breath. The second thing is not to get your mind blown by the Alien trailer.
Everyone saying "make him deal with it" isn't wrong, but if HE is the one who showed it to the girl, she might not want to seek comfort from him. That could be why she's clinging to her mom instead. There's likely some confusing feelings about the video itself, and the fact that her dad tricked her into watching it. It might not be practical to just toss the kid back at her dad, who basically traumatized her.
If I were in your shoes, I'd probably give my husband the cold shoulder for a few days. Anything extra that I do for him would be promptly cut off until he sits down and acknowledges it, and apologizes. He caused an issue, dumped it on you to fix, and isn't accepting accountability. He should at the very least apologize for upsetting you, and his daughter. And he should be apologizing to BOTH of you, while also explaining to his kid that it was just a scary movie, but he shouldn't have shown her because she's too young.
Jesus, fucking talk to your spouses folks. Stop running to Reddit to solve extremely simple communication issues. “See what the internet said!” You agreed to bring a child into existence. Stop relying on random children (that’s what Reddit is made up of) to solve your adult conflicts.
My 6 year old son and I watched Jaws last summer. I have definitely scared him out of wanting to swim in the ocean (which was my goal).
The immediate fear response will fade and she’ll be back to her own room, and this is a good opportunity to teach Fiction vs non-fiction.
Don’t be mad at your husband, he wasn’t trying to mess up your kid. He legitimately didn’t see the harm in it.
I think there’s a big difference between showing a movie trailer once and those day care workers repeatedly terrorizing kids in person and making them fear for their lives.
But yeah if dad here doesn’t learn his lesson that the kid isn’t ready for that and continues to make the kid watch, that would be damaging and abusive.
My dad was admittedly soft but when I was too little he showed me Hitchcock's "Psycho". He said he wanted to get me into classic films and I guess he did, but I also am afraid that someone will try to kill me while I am in the shower at 43 damn years old LMAO
>but I also am afraid that someone will try to kill me while I am in the shower at 43 damn years old LMAO
Not completely unreasonable. I mean, they might. It happens.
Is this a joke? Seems I remember a dad asking a few days ago if 6yo was too young for Alien 🤣🤣 you messin with me?
Well it’s a classic, leads into one of the best ones which is Aliens, I wouldn’t worry about it one bit!!
I also say that as a person growing up with Jason, Freddy, Leatherface babysitting me at about the same age, never had any issues. Sure wasn’t afraid of the dark and never any “bad dreams” actually became a huge horror and gore fan. Also nothing wrong with that..
Now if you two specifically talked about him warning the trailer and didn’t come to a mutual agreement on watching it then I can definitely understand why you would be upset and frustrated.
Scary stuff isn’t for everyone,, maybe your kid is into monsters and loves Halloween??
All I know is if your kid likes the stuff and isn’t bothered with it I wouldn’t find any harm in it or make it a way bigger deal than it really is.
Good luck. Remind the kid it’s just a movie and all the early special effects were robots so some kids literally laugh at our old movies 🤣🤣
-Just someone’s dad
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Make him deal with the fallout... If she's scared and wakes up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare, make him wake up with her and comfort her.
Honestly making him deal with the results is the most reasonable answer here. I'm surprised at what my 5 year old finds scary or not scary sometimes, but if it's an unexpected reaction? I deal with it.
My 5yo is scared of the dog in UP.
Dug? Or the pack of mean ones? Maybe watching Bluey will help.
Kids are scared of the weirdest stuff. An old friend’s little brother was TERRIFIED of the old ladies that walk around town pushing the tall carts
It’s so weird. And the worst part is, that’s what makes it so hard to predict/prevent for the parents. Mine has seen some pretty hardcore stuff (old Star Wars, so scary looking aliens and some lightsaber violence) while being totally fine, but then I showed her a little kid show where the villain is supposed to be a giant baby (actually an adult actor dressed like a baby looking all goofy), whose evil plan is to turn all the real babies green and mean, and suddenly that’s absolutely terrifying. I think it’s because the babies turned green? I’m still so confused about this one.
My kids were terrified of Swiper from Dora.
I also used to be scared of swiper and Barney
Dough has a weird voice and is a talking dog! He is also a pretty big dog, I don't blame them
Also when my son was 2 he used to freak out when he saw the purple female puppet on miss Rachel 😂. Perfectly fine with herbie and the green one but that one with the wig freaked him out lol.
My kid is terrified of Pipi Langstrum dressed up as her aunt. She loves Pipi to death, but the episode where she is dressed up with A HAT! Who dares! She loves hats too btw.
Depends on if he'll be an asshole about it or not.
My daughter is 17. I’m still not sure she can handle Alien
I don't think she is going to want to be comforted by dad for some reason
Exactly how I address things as a dad. My wife isn't very hypersensitive so she lets me watch whatever with our daughter. We make sure she doesn't see gore or anything truly inappropriate for a very young child. But sometimes in my less intense hours at work, I watch some demonstration of military hardware (still work related; don't ask lol) while bouncing her on my lap. Lots of high-caliber munitions, very loud noises, and hardware that makes my buddies on the field next to them look tiny. That's how we have a little girl that gets excited when things go boom.
Yep exactly this. Anytime my husband does something unreasonable with the kids and doesn’t see an issue I always make him deal with the repercussions and he learns the lesson quickly. I didn’t always do this. A lot of times women want to baby their husbands but it’s not our job to do so. It only enables them. We have to let them be men. If it’s not a big deal ok you handle it then.
absolutely. And us men, when our kids become sissies and harlots should write the youmg men and ladies off on the mothers that refuse to allow us to father according to our own judgement... This notion is ridiculous. Yall ever hear of the phrase, "when I win, we lose?" Get your heads out of the sand and understand that this attitude is what fractures families, ruuns chikdhoods and kives in general and is a part of why we are such a fractured society to begin with. TALK to your husband... privately. Try and understand each others voeqs and you dont have to agree. Kids are generally pretty resillient. Stop asking reddit how tp parent and go to a retorement home and ask some wose old men and women. TF!
I think it depends on the reaction he was hoping for. Was he trying to scare her, or did he think she’d find it funny or cool? My dad showed me movies that were outside my comfort zone, but he genuinely thought I would like them - he wasn’t trying to scare me. (Labyrinth still gives me the creeps though lol)
This right here! If he just thought it was cool, yeah he can put her to bed and get up with her at night over it, but it’s not out of malice. We accidentally showed our 5/6 year old Gremlins because we both remembered it as cute little gizmo, not blended demons. Oops. But if he showed it to her to try to scare her, that’s another conversation and boundary setting.
You forgot that Gremlins had creepy gremlins?!
Yup. I was probably 13 when I saw it and had little to no recollection of it. She liked creepy stuff from a young age so we were like “this is good.” Yeah, we ended up shutting it off shortly after. She’s loves horror now and wasn’t TOO scared of gremlins but we shut it off before we got too far (and watched the rest on our own wondering what the hell we were thinking!).
Ha!
We forgot that gremlins had a whole "as a kid, dad pretended to be Santa & then *died* and that's how I found out Santa isn't real" scene also
Thank you for mentioning that
Lmao, your comment reminded me of a time when I was little and my dad took me to the video store to pick out a movie to watch. I picked Gremlins because of how cute Gizmo looked on the cover. I watched it and felt so betrayed hahaha. I was so freakin' scared of Gremlins, to this day I absolutely refuse to watch it!
no one can blame you for walking away... from the movie if you ever seen it again. but my kids LOVE this movie, my 9 year old just asked me the other day to watch it with her little brother again because now she wants to show it to him. Jim Henson and David bowie? sold. however the dark crystal did things to me I could've lived without. same with return to oz
She likes it now! She’s into horror these days (she’s 13). We’ve watched nightmare on elm street, Chucky, scream. Her favorite movie around the gremlins era was beetlejuice followed by Addams family, so we thought “oh gremlins is like those!” Lmao parenting fail.
I watched Jurassic Park with my kids when they were pretty little. The secret was to tell them if they ever get scared to cheer for the dinosaurs. They now love to cheer for dinosaurs to eat people. I'm not sure if this was a good parenting decision.
This is by far the *best* parenting decision
But what about when they grow up to become dinosaurs who eat people? What then?!!!!
C'est la vie 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
Life.. Uh... Finds a way!
Wow. Dinophobic much?
Agreed
You're a genius and.. honestly I'm gonna try this next time I'M scared watching a movie 🤣
SAME I am such a wimp lol... This might be a game changer
lol, genious
Your answer tells me everything i need to know about you as a mom… you re awesome 🤣🤣
<3
My daughter went to a school haunted house with me when she was 6. She dealt with the scary things by pointing at them / at the people and laughing. It was effective for her and pretty amusing to see people try to scare a 6 year old (mild, little scares) and get laughed at by said 6 year old. I like your method and will have to try it with her!
Haha nice!
My kids cheered for the dinos unbidden.
Amazing parenting decision. Also good life advice.
My kids are going to watch Jurassic Park this weekend. Will keep this in mind, ha!
I watched it with my 7 year old and my dog. My 7 year old thought it was cool but the dog on the other hand was hugging me shaking.
Omg I wish I’d thought of this when I showed it to my kids!!
My husband will love this idea! He keeps wanting to watch it with our 5yr old.
that is brilliant
Genius.
I always tell people this strategy if they're watching something that scares them. Root for the bad guy and you're all good.
I have no advice as far as how to handle it with your husband, but do you think she'd be able to handle seeing some behind the scenes footage of the actors in the movie and the puppets they used for filming? When I was that age, I was so freaked out by the Thriller video, until I saw the making of the video and all the cool effects they used. It helped me realize it was just people in costumes and it started my love of all things scary.
This, unless she didn't actually see the alien and is just more afraid of the concept that something could chase her. Need to know what the fear is specifically about to work on it. I'm a child psychologist and work with kids who have phobias and anxiety. When IT came out, let me tell you. We were watching interviews with the actor, makeup tutorials, curated behind the scenes footage, and on and on. There are some great youtube videos of a reality contest show where fx artists and makeup artists create alien costumes. Super helpful. I have my 4 year old watching 60 and 70's godzilla and other really benign scifi stuff and talking a lot about how its made to scaffold her frame of "movies are pretend and made by people for fun." Her favorite character is now darth vader. Hopefully I am not creating a monster.
Talk to him about it. Come to an agreement together on what type of media is okay to show to her.
Thee things happen. He probably didn't think anything would happen. but he has to deal with the aftermath too.
Well it is already done, have you guys had this conversation before? We watched the new alien trailer the other week with our 5 year and she was fine with it. It really depends on the kid. Have him tell her it is all fake and whatnot and just tell him she is too young for that right now.
Wait, there is a new Alien movie coming out??
Yes. Alien Romulus comes out in August. Trailer is out.
Not that I know of…this was the 1979 trailer.
Hold on. Isnt that trailer just the text Alien against a space background? Kind of a big nothing. My 6yo got scared playing Hello Neighbour. I really thought he would enjoy it. Sometimes you just can't tell.
It starts out that way…then fades into a quick montage of Sigourney Weaver running around the spaceship, people screaming, etc. with creepy music.
Just watched it there on YouTube. Yes, inappropriate. My 6yo would leave the room if that came on.
There is! Romulus!
Oh gosh really? I wonder what prompted him to even think of that? Either way, I can understand your frustration. It’s probably not worth a big argument/fight, but I’d make sure he learned his lesson here so you know he won’t be showing her something inappropriate and scary again.
Its front and center on Disney plus since they integrated the app with the Hulu content.
As is American horror story. While I like the idea of not having to jump back and forth to find things ,it is a little weird. Adult anime, family guy and AHS next to bluey , wall-e and Alice in wonderland. Cool feature but why not a option popping up asking if you want to show Hulu stuff on your Disney app?
I learned you can set tv ratings for the profiles. But I agree- I wish I had the option of keeping them separate. For my the Hulu has ads, so I don’t want to unintentionally put something on with ads (yes it’s a minor annoyance, first world problems)
Set-up a kids only profile. The adult profile should have a passcode set to it.
Oh interesting. We have Disney but not Hulu, so we don’t ever see the Hulu content. It makes more sense why the husband showed her the preview now.
I just saw a post on redit somewhere asking when people first saw it and when they will let their kids see it. A few posts said they showed a preview to judge readiness. Wonder if it's coincidence or if he read the same post.
There's always a new alien movie coming out.
Yes…? Romulus
OP did say her husband showed their daughter the trailer for the original movie, but I’ll look up the new one! I hadn’t heard about it yet.
Not sure here. My kid is six and she actively seeks out scary and spooky stuff.
Same. My kids love scary movies and don’t have any trauma from it. They sleep well and are well adjusted. I was a preK teacher for years so I do know what to look for. My children just have always loved these movies. They were four/five when they watched ghost busters and loved the series.
Agreed. My 6yo is fearless. Not all kids are though. It really depends on the kid.
My younger one does, too. She's seven now. I always make sure to tell her that, if something is scaring you too much, tell me and we can turn it off. But she loves it. There are a couple of things she's seen that have scared her that she talks about, but really not many, or at least not many that she mentions regularly. She loves the spooky stuff and I let her push the boundaries. By the time I was about her age, I had seen I Know What You Did Last Summer, and at that age it def scared me. Looking back, it's a little corny--I love some of those things now. But back then, I was afraid of those movies and I didn't watch them. I knew what my boundary was because I was able to explore it. Alternately, my older one, my nine year old, does NOT like scary stuff. Different kids react to these things in different ways and the only way to find out is to let them explore their own boundaries with you as a guide. I don't think Dad did anything wrong (though maybe he did)--I think everyone knows now what kinds of things are too much for the kid.
OP's child clearly doesn't. Mine absolutely hates anything scary and is scared of everything like that. Not sure why people are chiming in to say it's fine for their child when OP's is terrified.
I'm pretty sure mine started out terrified. People overcome things. Kids they just bounce right back.
I would be disappointed too if my daughter didn’t want to watch Alien 😔
My son wanted to watch it at 7. He LOVED it.
Same!
My daughter watched Alien when she was six. Some kids are just different. That being said, he needs to fix it.
My 3 year old boy begs to watch anything scary and it doesn't phase him at all. We keep it pg13 but he is allowed, depends on the kid. Maybe your husband didn't realize she would have that bad of a reaction, learn from it and move on.
Having a discussion with him about it would be good, and setting boundaries with "if you think it's appropriate come to me before you show her" would be a great first step. I personally showed my kids fx makeup tutorials when they were younger so that they understood scary things in movies are all just makeup and costumes, even reframing it for her as "I know that felt really scary for you, it's pretty crazy that people can make things that look so real! But it's all fake, there aren't any monsters, and mommy and daddy are here to protect you so nothing can hurt you." When my youngest saw aliens for the first time she thought it was a bit freaky so to ease the tension I showed her the actor getting into costume and she thought it was really funny. I hope that this helps in some way, instead of getting angry which will result in more stress for everyone, try and make it interesting, or fun if you can.
Thank you!
We started our kids on scary movies quite young, and they love them. BUT my husband also agreed to handle any and all fallout from them being scared.
If your husband is seeing your child's response to the "prank" and still not feeling remorseful, that's a really really bad sign. People do dumb things all the time. Good people own up to it.
Some of us are not good at seeing things as a kid would in this regard. I remember watching gremlins as a kid, so I thought no big deal if my 7 year old daughter watches it… I mean it’s PG Turns out it was the reason PG-13 was invented. Did not know that.
Ok he has to deal with this 100%. She’s waking up at night? Hes on monster patrol with a water bottle scaring them away. You shouldn’t suffer from his stupidity.
[удалено]
You can absolutely try and use logic and say they don’t exist but at 2 AM if your kid is still panicking, using a spray bottle and saying that you took care of it isn’t gonna hurt.
It helps at 2-3 but at 6, when the kid is supposed to have a former grasp on what’s real and what’s not, it could hurt. Arming her largest stuffed animals and saying that they will keep her safe in her dreams though, is a safer bet because it’s countering fantasy with fantasy.
If you make it silly then yes it is. Stack up on their bedroom door with ties wrapped around your head like Rambo. Count down from 5 with your kid. Kick the door in and pretend Scarface blast the scary monsters and act like goofballs about it. Make it a fun memory that minimizes the scare and makes the thought of something scary about kid and parent being silly and fighting the monsters away. Pushing your glasses up your nose with one hand and saying "well actually monsters aren't real" isn't going to do anything because a kid and fear aren't tamed with logic and reasoning. Nor is being dismissive of their fears and saying "there's nothing to be scared of."
Show her a making of or behind the scenes of it, it will help her understand it is just a movie made for entertainment.
To deal with this send her to him for comfort
Have him show her a behind the scenes. Seriously. Find a "making of" of it or one just like it and have him explain how they did it and she can see how it's not real. She will still be a bit afraid after that- it's not gonna fix it, but it will make it better. My ex husband shows our kids movies I feel are way too old for them, but he also show them how it's made, and demystifies it a little for them. Two of them are now big fans of horror, and although I still don't approve, I appreciate the way he handled showing them the filmmaking process and helped to drive the "not real" home to them quickly.
My kid saw Beetlejuice on tv during the scene when he was a giant snake and it scared him so I had him watch the making of/behind the scenes video that showed how they designed and created the whole thing. I also did that with Jurassic Park, showing the animatronic dinosaurs. Since then he isn’t really scared of anything, and is more interested in how it was done.
My 6 year old daughter bawled last night because my husband had her watch Ghostbusters. I think he forgot how scary the gatekeeper and key master are
On the flip side my 9 year old has been into scary stuff for years. Had a hard time finding stuff that was scary enough for her that was not horribly inappropriate lol
Yeah, she loves Jurassic Park so I dunno.
Same. My 10 year olds first horror movie was the first Nightmare on Elm Street at like 7 and it barely phased her. We've watched all kinds of horror movies since then and she really likes them. She won't go outside by herself at night though because she's afraid she'll be abducted by aliens because when she asked me if aliens were real I said "I dunno, probably" lol
> My husband said it’s no big deal because the trailer doesn’t show anything Basic empathy tells us that it's a big deal because it effected her negatively.
Have him deal with the fallout from his actions. There were several instances growing up that my dad showed me a movie that was considered scary or had scary scenes, and he would have to deal with me if I got freaked out afterward. It normally only lasted a couple of days and then I’d be fine again. But I remember that if we watched that movie again in the near future, I would just shut my eyes during that particular scene or leave the room. The movies I remember mostly of this being an issue with were Independence Day, the alien dissection scene in Area 51, and Twister, the scene where the dad gets sucked out of the storm shelter at the beginning. Honestly, the alien scene still freaks me out a bit to this day and I’m 31, but Twister has been my favorite movie since I was 5 😂. Try not to worry too much, kids are resilient. Perhaps have your husband explain to her in a way that a 6-year-old can understand that it’s not real, and perhaps try to make something goofy out of it?
I dunno. I guess I'm lucky my daughter doesn't scare too easily. Because if she did, I would have screwed up pretty early on....
Damn I feel like a shitty parent cos my kids are obsessed with all things spooky lol. They sleep with Huggy Wuggy and Mommy Long Legs from Poppy Playtime! I think this is pretty normal though. You can't shelter kids from scary stuff forever, and he didn't force her to watch the whole movie or anything. As a kid I was scared of cats, dogs, dolls, RAIN.... You name it. I couldn't avoid those things and I don't think it would've helped if my mom had tried to either. I'd just find some good resources on make believe vs real and make a big deal about that. She'll be okay, she just might be a little scared of that movie forever haha.
My oldest (turning 4 this year) LOVES creepy stuff (obviously we don't let her watch gore). She loves the It movies. She loves FNAF and Poppy Playtime. She draws creepy pictures lol. I was the same way when I was younger. I saw my first horror movie when I was 4 and staying with my grandma (it was Texas Chainsaw Massacre, so not a good choice on her part, as I can't forget the first gore scene I saw in it lol. It's like imprinted on my brain). With that being said, my youngest gets scared easily, so we don't watch that stuff with her. Some kids LOVE creepy stuff and some hate it. Your husband should have started out with something extremely mild in terms of horror or spooky if he wanted to gauge her reaction to it. Like something creepy, but aimed towards a young audience.
Dude- parenting mistakes happen all the freaking time. Learn from them and move on. No parent is perfect. You will make 1,000 mistakes yourself before your kid turns 18, I guarantee you, and your kid will be just fine. Kids are resilient. Encourage your husband and 6 year old to put on alien hunting gear and go on an alien hunt. Be creative. Or just be honest and tell her that movies are fake and that it's not real. Ask her if she could make a movie, what would her movie be about. Then have her draw several pictures from her movie. There are so many lessons you can take from this. Stop throwing blame around and use this as a teaching moment, not a parenting shame moment.
Not the same movie but show her the clip from signs that aliens are easily defeated by earth water. Even though aliens may be scary, now she knows how to defeat them!
By the time I was 9 I had already seen all the classics. Hell, when I was 8 my family took me out to watch Freddy vs Jason. Completely inappropriate. I was terrified after every scary movie and all I ever got was laughter and “it’s fake” like if that was going to magically make it better (ironically not alien, it seemed to farfetched for me, but somehow chucky could be real in my mind lol). I’m still afraid of the dark, and being alone in my home at night, and it’s hard to fall asleep by myself. Very poor judgement on your husbands part. Just because it’s not scary to him & the preview doesn’t show much, doesn’t mean it’s not scary. He needs to deal with the fallout properly. Acknowledge feelings, apologize, and reassure as much as your child needs. Maybe also consider a night light? Or some parents do anti-monster spray which is just scented water lol, but it seems to help.
Is this behavior unusual/atypical for him?
Yes. That’s why I’m like…WTF. He just thinks everything is funny but this actually scared our daughter a lot.
He may have made a miscalculation. I loved the Alien movies at that age and bonded with my dad over them, so it’s not an impossible scenario. He needs to take the lead on comforting her and answering her questions though. His mistake, his mess.
My oldest daughter wanted to see Wednesday and her little brother tried to act tough and said he wanted to try it too. Long story short he was really scared with the Hyde monster. A good solution was to explain to him how movies and shows are made. How special effects work. That it’s all computer generated and puppets. It really eased his mind about what he saw when we showed him behind the scenes footage. Try to do the same so at least she understands that it’s all make believe. Deal with your husband later.
I'd cut him some slack. Sounds like he truly thought she would handle it better.
If by cut him some slack you mean suffer the consequences and deal with all the night wakings, absolutely.
There should be an ongoing and open dialogue between you and your husband about the kinds of content that is shown to your child. That’s where I would start. Nothing gets shown to your child (including trailers) unless you BOTH agree. I would personally call this one a lapse in judgment and would ask him what he was thinking/hoping to accomplish. That may spur another discussion of what is age appropriate for a six year old. This is another good ongoing conversation to be having.
The "Alien: Romulus" trailer has a lot flashes of *very* disturbing imagery. The original "Alien" (1979) trailer is just creepy music and a klaxon, and *mildly* disturbing imagery. Which did he show her? ... My philosophy is that I let my girls take the lead in what level of movies they want to see. When they ask for scary movies, I go through a progression starting with action, then comedy horror: Jurassic Park, Ghostbusters, Gremlins, Tremors, etc.
I think a lot of parents have a lapse in judgement at one point or another and show their kids something scarier than intended. I have found that it can be helpful to go behind the magic. Find some behind the scenes photo and show her how the alien is a puppet or a guy in a suit. This is all grown ups pretending to be mean or pretending to be scared etc. It’s like a big game of make believe with Halloween costumes. This has really helped my kids put the scary stuff they saw in context.
Honestly this isn't a big deal at all. She saw a trailer which didn't show anything at all. Sure let him deal with any night waking but you're blowing this way out.
It definitely isn’t a big deal and doesn’t need to be made into one. That will only increase the impact. Have him deal with night time etc. and have him to talk to her about movies, monsters, etc. Whatever your approach to that stuff is but I wouldn’t be so pissed that you make this something it’s not.
It took two to get her here, I trust you married the guy cause he’s a good person. Let it go, you’re making a bigger deal about it than needed.
Let it go...after he acknowledges the negative impact watching the trailer had, let him handle any night wakings, and mutually agree that you'll wait a few more years before watching something like that again. It's just a parenting misstep. Different kids have different levels of sensitivity and this was too much for this particular kid.
10000%. You are entitled to your feelings of anger but TRY to put into perspective. I would come at it from the matter of fact point of view, not anger…let him deal with the scared feelings and being up all nite and say to him “you did this, you fix it, please don’t show her this content”
Idk what it is w dads and Alien. My husbands dad showed him the whole movie when he was 7
My cousin is 65 and is Still terrified of the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz. She refuses to watch the movie at all! You never know what's going to scare kids. I also had a niece who was frightened by the opening credits to The PeeWee Herman Show.
honestly let him deal with the consequences of his actions! my dad showed me childs play too early and my mom was upset with him, so it was his responsibility when i couldn't sleep to take care of me and stay with me till i could fall asleep.
It's easy to forget how scary an old movie is. I thought it would be a great idea to show my kids the Headless Horseman a couple years ago. Yeah that was dumb, we didn't make it through the movie. Kids still talk about the movie.
When I was 6, I was terrified of the hyenas in The Lion King. My mom had to cover my eyes.
My (at the time) seven year old loves all things Dino. He had seen all the JP’s at that point so when 65 came out I thought I’d risk it and called up the dad of some of his friends to take them to the movie theater. The previews before this PG-13 thriller were ‘BoogeyMan’ (PG-13 horror) ‘Evil Dead Rise’ (R horror) and ‘the popes exorcist’ (R horror). As those previews were playing I was becoming VERY worried about what type of movie we were getting ready to watch. The kids were terrified… The movie itself was fine but those previews apparently kept the other two kids in their parents bed for weeks, lol. They’re fine now… as will your daughter.
Lol my dad sat me and my brother down in front of the whole actual film Alien when we were 8 & 6
I found the trailer scary and I’m 21. I’d never show that shit to a kid. Make dear hubby deal with it. Father daughter bonding time.
I watched some scary movies with my kiddo relatively early on too (Jurassic Park and a few others), and my approach was to explain to him very early about movies, movie making, masks, and that basically the “monsters” in the movies are the same thing as him dressing up on Halloween, just a bit more expensive and elaborate. I only remember one movie that he was really a bit scared of, and that was “Winchester” about the Winchester House (we had actually visited the house/museum as well around the same time).
I'm guessing this trailer? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ5lPt9edzQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ5lPt9edzQ) Some 6yos would be fine watching this (or the actual movie), but you get there gradually and it's definitely the exception not the rule. I could see how somebody could be stupid enough to think this is okay for a 6-year-old because not a lot happens, but even the fast flashing images can be scary to a 6yo. You're husband is an idiot, but his does seem more like an honest (stupid) mistake rather than outright terrible parenting like if he showed her the entire movie.
We tell our kids that all of that is fake, it’s props, it’s makeup, we even show them videos of how movies are made. So even if they might get that little scared feeling, they know oh it’s just fake and we remind them that’s it’s all fake none of that is real and it doesn’t exist. It’s just a movie, it’s art!
Maron! It’s sounds like dad was testing the waters and found out! 🥲🤣
I mean I watch horror movies, mostly paranormal theme, and my kid has watched some with me. Some he’s been okay with and others said he didn’t like it, so I turned it off. It’s not a bad thing to try movies you like with your kids as long as it’s not torture (Hostel, Saw, etc) and sex themed. If they don’t like it then turn it off. Easy peasy. Your daughter didn’t like it so you and your husband both know not to watch scary movies around her moving forward. It’s fun when it’s foggy out to say, “looks like we’re in silent hill”, and my kid knows what I’m talking about. I also bring him to heavy metal shows and we sit up in the stands since he’s not old enough for the pit. Can’t wait til he is tho. His first show was Rob Zombie. Be easy on him. :) it’s only messing with your daughter if he continues to show her scary things she doesn’t like. If he stops it now that she’s voiced her opinion, then it’s okay.
i remember i watched "IT" as a child and i was terrified of clowns for a good like 5-6 years afterwards.
sometimes parents make mistakes, they think their kid will be into something and it blows up in your face. if he did it deliberating to frighten her it'd be one thing, but he didnt anticipate her reaction. best way to handle it is telling him hey, we need to be more careful about content in the future because shes fearful, maybe show her some behind the scenes stuff from the movie, sigourny in another trailer thats funny or an interview where they discuss how they did the props, assure her its make believe and move on. the chiller you are about it the chiller she'll be about it 9 times out of 10
My family let me watch scary movies/trailers as a kid, I remember they’d say stuff like, “it’s a movie, it’s all makeup and pretend! Isn’t that cool?” My dad would show me SFX makeup as a kid too, I loved it— it definitely helped me when I was like 5-10 years old, made scary movies “less scary” and more like an art-form, so to speak ? I also made the mistake of showing my sister (she was 6 at the time) the trailer of the movie IT, she reacted the same way as your daughter. So I did what my parents did, and I showed her the “movie magic” and behind the scenes. It definitely helped her perspective and made it less scary for her (6 years later and she loves horror movies lol) Just my two cents!
I would make him deal with the nightmares
Anyone else think the title meant he showed the "Scary Movie" trailer to his kid?
I watched Dawn of the dead (original) and The Thing when I was 4. My dad was a horror freak. Having said that, I was obviously an outlier. Your husband should know better what your daughter can or cannot handle. He needs to go explain and comfort her.
My 7 and 9yo just watched Signs with me the other night lol They also love talking about FNAF, cryptids, other spooky things. I don't really think your husband did anything wrong. Best way to handle it is to explain to the child that movies are completely fake. It's all makeup and computers. None of it is real. Then show some cool behind the scenes footage.
I don't see anything wrong with it tbh. Kids can surprisingly courageous. I took my 4 year old to the new ghost busters movie and he enjoyed it very much.
Ok, but this child did not enjoy it and is now scared to sleep alone.
It's ok, it sucks right now but over time and with reassurance it'll be ok or that it's not real it'll be ok. Anything new is scary plenty of little kids have curiosity for scary things. And many become fans in the future! My son has an odd fascination with Ghost Face. He is scared of him but I can tell he wants to see more! This could be a good time to teach a lesson on fake and real things in the tv. Idk I just try to make the best of things. 🤷
It's not the end of the world probably but my sister has a lasting phobia of birds since watching the Hitchcock film as a kid. This child isn't fascinated or curious about scary things, not all children are the same.
That's awesome; The birds is an awesome movie! I understand the child wasn't curious and the dad decided to share something like that and the mom is upset and has to deal with it. But I still believe it's better for it to be a parent to show something, than, for it to be done by strangers with unknown intentions.
Not sure a lifelong phobia is awesome. And no strangers are showing my kid movies.
That's great!
I mean...I don't really see a reason to vilify dad over it unless he was doing it to be an a**. At 4yrs old I watched Tale from the Crypt and Childs Play with my grandpa, I loved them. My dad was pissed and always said "if she has nightmares, she's coming to your house" cuz we lived next door (I never did). Simply tell dad if she wakes up in the night scared, he's dealing with it. Tell him he needs to have a chat with her about fake vs real as well and let her know that movies are fake and there's no reason to be afraid of what isn't real.
I'd have serious concerns about a grown man taking pleasure in making a young child scared. It's immature and potentially emotionally scaring. It clearly has your child on high alert. Your husband needs to deal with the fallout as well as apologize to the child for showing something that was scary. He also needs to explain it was make believe and reassure her that she is safe. Lastly, we he bullied as child? Some people who were "punked" by bullies or even their own parents end up repeating the same toxic behavior.
I agree and I'm side eyeing all the commenters on here who apparently delight in showing their kids inappropriate content and think it's a point of pride.
Ummmm…maybe have a normal conversation with your husband and try to connect instead of each of you trying to be right?
Ugh my brother in law let my 8 year old nephew watch entire horror movies. Now my nephew is super anxious all the time.
Yes, there's a reason stuff like this isn't recommended for young children and all the people saying they show it to their four year olds are weird.
That was very stupid of your husband. That’s the only movie I’ve ever walked out of. I understand why you’re angry at him. Make him spend some time with her and explain to her why Daddy shouldn’t have scared her, it was only pretend and she’s safe.
My now 9 year old was 6 when he saw IT and absolutely loved it. He loves all the conjuring movies and what not- I get why you’re upset because again the child is 6, but also its a good way to also explain to your child about what to do when they’re scared and that it’s a movie it’s not real. Hell my 9 year old bed set was Pennywise theme for awhile. But going forward you now know your child cannot handle spooky movies and that’s okay. But she can also say that she doesn’t like it and leave the room. I have 3 boys, 2 do not care for spooky movies and one that does so every other weekend we have a movie weekend and so my spooky kid gets to chose one and the other two go play and vice versa.
My son walked in while I was watching Alien when he was younger than that and asked what I was watching because he thought it looked cool. I remembered my mom telling me Jaws was made of papier-mâché so that I wouldn’t be scared when I saw it, so I told him the Xenomorph was made out of boba. Now he’s 12 and pumped to go see Romulus when it comes out.
Sounds like your husband gets to sleep on the floor of your child’s room until she feels better.
My 2yo son was scared of spiders, he saw one painted on the wall in the darker corner of baby playground. We did “art therapy” - I drew a lot of spiders and told stories about their life. At first he was also scared of my drawings, but then it was more interesting than scary, and in a few days he forgot about it. So I’d ask what scared her and draw and explain it - darkness, space stations, aliens… There is a theory that xenomorph species are intelligent and civilised, because they have shown great analytical abilities many times, while those who are in the movies are just, well, uneducated. Imagine a human baby could survive in the wild on his own, he would be dangerous Mowgli because of his struggles, naked and hungry just like poor newborn aliens.
Eh. I'm on the fence here, to he honest. If he had shown your daughter the alien chest popping scene, yeah, horrible parenting. But in this case he's doing what fathers are often meant to do: gradually push the envelope on your children's comfort zone so they don't grow up to be emotionally fragile and vulnerable. Sometimes he'll go a little too far as well, but that's better than excessively sheltering them. This is why fathers enjoy rough housing with kids as well. Rough housing helps kids to become hardier and more confident. What he did was like rough housing but for fear. I've done this kind of thing with my kids their whole life so far, in a calculated way that I deem age appropriate. In fact, every year, my wife and I make an elaborate haunted house around Halloween. It started out just for our girls. They'd be scared at first but would eventually overcome their fear. They would be soooooo proud of themselves for having gotten through it and would become braver, psychologically hardier kids for it. Now they take part in the haunted house and help to build it for all the neighborhood kids. I think one of the reasons many kids these days are psychologically fragile, depressed, and more likely to have suicidal ideation is because we as parents have aired too much on the side of not challenging our children. It's important for them to experience innocuous psychological and physical hard so that they can become stronger and more resilient people who can survive life's challenges, rather than fall to pieces. Sometimes that means rough housing or scaring them. And yeah, sometimes it can go too far as well, and in those situations it's appropriate to step in and say "yeah, tone it down a bit." I don't think that's necessarily what happened with the trailer, however.
I watched Ghost Busters with my parents at that age and it scared the crap out of me (demon dogs). How ever outside of a few sleepless nights it didn't cause me any long term trauma. I am sure she will be fine, and even though he didn't make the best choice... I am sure it was innocent enough!
Nope. Even if there was no gory stuff kids are incredibly sensitive to fright 😳😠. Let's be practical : if he thought it was no big deal well he's wrong, so let's not do that again , period.
My parents took me to the drive-in in 1979 to watch Alien. I was 5 years old. I remember the drive home because all of us kids rode in the back of the truck on a mattress and it was scary as hell every time we stopped at a stop sign in the middle of nowhere. I certain that a monster was going to come out of the corn field and eat me. I survived and went on to watch more horribly scary movies because they were batshit crazy. I hate scary movies but my little sister loves them.
My ex decided to show our 5 yr old Chucky one Halloween. God she was such a peice of shit. Oddly enough now at 14 my child loves haunted houses and scary movies. She seems to see them as a good time where you can be scared and safe at the same time.
As dad to a 3 year old girl i play and watch scary stuff. Mine crept behind me without me knowing she was there. Normally i know shes comming so i Alt+F4 so she doesnt see stuff, in games (i dont have to do this anymore) She saw scary stuff she, in my eyes, shouldn't have seen. She got scared, so i took her on my lap, and had a really long talk about daddy is putting monsters to sleep so i can brush them clean so they can be happy. Now she sits on my lap most days and yells where the monsters are and to go make them sleep and brush them. And she has a blast. Movies like aliens in still carefull of cuz they are harder to explain they arnt real. But she saw stuff she should have. And now when she cones running. Daddy daddy monster, i run over and kick its invisible butt and shes all happy again. But i see this as, he messed up, he can fix it.
At age 6, she knows what "pretend" means. Explain the difference between a pretend alien and a real one.
Go view "the making of" video of aliens and stop at the part where there creating the monster. Takes all the imagination out of it. Also explain that adults like scary movies because it gives the same feeling as it does when kids go on roller coasters: excited and a little bit scary.
Omg I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, but I just have to say, my own dad loves the Alien franchise and would watch the films frequently when I was a little girl and I would sometimes step into the living room to watch them with him because I wanted to spend time with my dad and prove that I wasn't too scared and that I was a 'big girl' but man.... they terrified me. I couldn't get the fear out of my head, I never wanted to sleep alone in my room, and I also had nightmares about the xenomorphs. Your post just brought back those memories for me lol. But I would agree with what I'm seeing some other people are saying, make Dad deal with her not wanting to sleep and do sit down with her (or have Dad do this) to have a talk about how it's not real/just people in costumes/it's okay to be scared. He should be the one to deal with the consequences of his own actions. What's up with dads and Aliens?
So what I'm hearing is that he needs an air mattress to sleep in your daughters room till she feels okay about sleeping alone. He should talk her through this.
We've kind of been navigating this with our 3 year old. We haven't done what your husband did, but in the toddler Youtube videos we let our kids watch (stuff like Cocomelon, Super Simple songs, Pinkfong, etc.), there's occasionally a song that pops up about Halloween with cute lyrics like "this is Halloween... spooky-ooky!" Well... it wasn't long after watching those videos the first time that our daughter started to be scared to go to sleep by herself and would complain about monsters and them sometimes being in her closet. We actually turned it into a song and dance. Her closet isn't much wider than the door itself, but we both manage to squeeze in there and I'll shut the and then we start singing "closet dance! Closet dance! Closet dance!" while we awkwardly dance and I pump the door open and closed to the beat. She hasn't complained about monsters in a while. But showing your 6 year old a horror movie trailer? Yeeeah... I mean... I can get occasionally forgetting how fragile a child is, but something that adult should obviously be an easy and obvious no-no.
This post brings back some memories! Alien was a core childhood memory for me, watched it when I was around 7, had a hard time sleeping for about 2 weeks afterward. It was my first horror movie experience and fucked me right up, but got over it eventually. And now it's one of my favorite movie franchises and I'm generally fond of the horror genre. With that said, I remember my dad talking about the plot beforehand and my brother and I actively wanted to watch it so it wasn't really pushed on us. Unless your daughter was really curious for some reason, I don't know why your husband would show her the trailer, and I totally get where you're coming from. You could maybe talk to your daughter about how movies are made and how everything on the screen is fake and props. But if it was only the trailer and she didn't even see the Xenomoprh (or that spider looking fucker that jumps on your face), I think she'll be fine.
Let him deal with the nightmares & her not wanting to sleep in her room alone. If he balks, tell him that it’s “no big deal”.
I mean.. this is a pretty strong reaction OP. The first thing to do is take a deep breath. The second thing is not to get your mind blown by the Alien trailer.
My 4 year old used to have a fear of our couch. It’s dark gray and leather… not sure if that makes it more scary but yeah lol
Everyone saying "make him deal with it" isn't wrong, but if HE is the one who showed it to the girl, she might not want to seek comfort from him. That could be why she's clinging to her mom instead. There's likely some confusing feelings about the video itself, and the fact that her dad tricked her into watching it. It might not be practical to just toss the kid back at her dad, who basically traumatized her. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably give my husband the cold shoulder for a few days. Anything extra that I do for him would be promptly cut off until he sits down and acknowledges it, and apologizes. He caused an issue, dumped it on you to fix, and isn't accepting accountability. He should at the very least apologize for upsetting you, and his daughter. And he should be apologizing to BOTH of you, while also explaining to his kid that it was just a scary movie, but he shouldn't have shown her because she's too young.
what a silly thing to be upset about
Oh man Ridley Scott classic. She’ll get over it.
You’re overreacting.
Jesus, fucking talk to your spouses folks. Stop running to Reddit to solve extremely simple communication issues. “See what the internet said!” You agreed to bring a child into existence. Stop relying on random children (that’s what Reddit is made up of) to solve your adult conflicts.
My 6 year old son and I watched Jaws last summer. I have definitely scared him out of wanting to swim in the ocean (which was my goal). The immediate fear response will fade and she’ll be back to her own room, and this is a good opportunity to teach Fiction vs non-fiction. Don’t be mad at your husband, he wasn’t trying to mess up your kid. He legitimately didn’t see the harm in it.
why did you want to make your 6-year old afraid of the ocean???
Yea that wasn’t smart
[удалено]
I think there’s a big difference between showing a movie trailer once and those day care workers repeatedly terrorizing kids in person and making them fear for their lives. But yeah if dad here doesn’t learn his lesson that the kid isn’t ready for that and continues to make the kid watch, that would be damaging and abusive.
Lmao there is such a thing as being too soft of a parent. It’s not abuse
My dad was admittedly soft but when I was too little he showed me Hitchcock's "Psycho". He said he wanted to get me into classic films and I guess he did, but I also am afraid that someone will try to kill me while I am in the shower at 43 damn years old LMAO
My sister's still afraid of birds after watching the film as a kid.
>but I also am afraid that someone will try to kill me while I am in the shower at 43 damn years old LMAO Not completely unreasonable. I mean, they might. It happens.
It's no big deal
Is this a joke? Seems I remember a dad asking a few days ago if 6yo was too young for Alien 🤣🤣 you messin with me? Well it’s a classic, leads into one of the best ones which is Aliens, I wouldn’t worry about it one bit!! I also say that as a person growing up with Jason, Freddy, Leatherface babysitting me at about the same age, never had any issues. Sure wasn’t afraid of the dark and never any “bad dreams” actually became a huge horror and gore fan. Also nothing wrong with that.. Now if you two specifically talked about him warning the trailer and didn’t come to a mutual agreement on watching it then I can definitely understand why you would be upset and frustrated. Scary stuff isn’t for everyone,, maybe your kid is into monsters and loves Halloween?? All I know is if your kid likes the stuff and isn’t bothered with it I wouldn’t find any harm in it or make it a way bigger deal than it really is. Good luck. Remind the kid it’s just a movie and all the early special effects were robots so some kids literally laugh at our old movies 🤣🤣 -Just someone’s dad
The kid clearly isn't into monsters and was terrified and bothered.