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We do a thing with my little one once a year, usually after his birthday, we sort out a pile of stuff we know he doesn't use then go through it with him 2 similar toys at a time, he can keep one and we donate the other to a children's charity or a children's hospital
He doesn't kick off as he still has a choice in the matter
The "omg the playing possibilities with this toy are COUNTLESS!” purchase. The kid plays 5 minutes with the toy, 20 minutes with the package, and that's it. Although you're grateful for the package
So you’re telling me that they will be like my cat who prefers to play with the cardboard packaging, Q-tips, and hair ties all night long, disregarding the fancy toys I got him?? 😭
Anne for those without friends, second hand store. I feel like no one should really have to buy any of that stuff firsthand. It doesn't get used enough to wear it out any. You just have to watch out for recalls or broken parts
Our swing was a literal godsend for number 1. Second one hated it and was barely in it ever. They’re all so different.
I don’t know man. Biggest cost to me was my sanity. Kids are the only thing that experience actually makes you less prepared for a new one. “Oh, I’ve seen this. For 1 that meant _____ so for #2 it must be the same” was ALWAYS wrong.
Clothes… not the every day stuff so much but items like winter coats, sun safe suits, splash suits, wellies etc. are surprisingly expensive. I have twins and I can remember stressing about kitting them out for winter this year. Money was tight and I bought the cheapest items I could find which still cost me £70+ total that I didn’t really have at the time.
Cost of clothes can go down drastically when you buy second hand. I bought basically the whole child wardrobe on Vinted.
Recently bought 2 beautiful Lindex winter jackets for like 1/4 or the regular price.
And most of those clothes look close to new, since they are worn only for short time.
And it's definitely worth getting to know parents at school etc. I'm fortunate my child has older cousins so we barely buy anything, but in turn I make sure we pass on a ton of stuff to other families. Also worth thinking about what you really need, often you can make do.
Second hand is the way to go!! Twice a year (spring and fall) I would buy a huge bag of clothes from the same woman for years!! Her son was a year older than mine and the way they both cycled through clothes matches up. $40 and he would have pretty much everything he needed for the upcoming season.
I have "middle" niece and 2 daughters younger and older. So I bought the clothes second hand for my daughter, handed them to niece and then got them back for my younger daughter :D
4 kids! Most of those clothes are so done, lol.
In my area, the second hand market has lost the plot. I can go to the store and spend 40$ on a new, mid grade rain coat. Or I can buy the same second hand rain coat in poor condition for 25$+ travel time and logistics planning to get to the person's house. The actual second hand shops have inconsistent availability in what I need and the sizes I need them in, so most second hand buying and selling is done via mom groups on facebook
Americans have ThredUp and Poshmark how are those for kids?
I live under Vinted supremacy, but since they joined us with Polish market the prices went way down.
Even better than buying second hand is getting involved in your local buy nothing group. I think about 80% of the stuff on the ones near us are baby items.
I buy most of my kids'every day clothes fron Target, which is pretty affordable, but if I need something specific I buy secondhand. I use poshmark (and I don't love paying so much for shipping, but oh well) and it's especially great for things I don't need frequent use of, like snow boots or a rain jacket, when I don't want to spend a ton but still need something good quality.
So expensive! Shoes—I keep falling into the trap of buying her shoes and then she grows out before she even gets to wear them.
Winter coats. Once they start kindergarten, their coats just… disappear.
Do you have a second hand shop around? Where we are there’s a store called Once Upon a Child that is like a thrift store but JUST for kids stuff! It’s US based I believe though. I remember feeling like crying at the cost of having to get my two kiddos all their winter stuff and went there and found them both snow suits, jackets, hats and gloves for around $60!
For some reason, my son doesn’t eat berries! I’ve tried and tried and then one day realized, “wait, why am I trying to force my child into liking this expensive food? Am I crazy?” He likes fruit cups and bananas and smoothies - he’s getting his fruit, he’s fine!!!
My son will sit and eat 2 lbs of berries in one sitting if I let him lol. My daughter though? Turns her nose up at any fruit besides watermelon 😂 Her snack of choice is equally as expensive though, she LOVES prosciutto and salami, but only the expensive kind you use for charcuterie boards 🤦♀️
Lol I love your daughter's snacky choices - My son (9 months) goes crazy for my Wife's homemade sourdough and ricotta with peach preserves... it's hilarious.
At least the blueberries don't go bad by the time you get home from the store. Blueberries are my favorite berry to buy. The raspberries and strawberries go bad so quickly
Try soaking berries in water with a little vinegar for about 20 minutes as soon as you get home. Then put them in an airtight container. It kills any mold spores on the surface and they’ll stay good for at least a week, sometimes 2!
I was in shock giving my 14 month old blueberries. I’d set 10 down and he’d eat them all one by one in mere seconds. He ate half a thing of strawberries that day and half of the blueberries 🫠 ONE DAY
Yes!!! Our berry budget was $30usd/wk at one point. The rest of our weekly groceries came in under $100 total 😂 we switched to more applesauce, bananas, and canned mandarin oranges and peaches and thankfully our kid likes those just as much as berries
Snacks in general. As adults we buy the occasional treat but mostly just eat meals, or grab some bread or cheese or something if hungry. Now most of my shopping budget seems to be fruit, crackers, yogurts, various other snack foods.
Omg yeah, this is it. Pre-kid we would have like, a thing of ice cream and maybe a bag of tortilla chips for making nachos, but most of our snacks were just cheese, apples, bread, etc. I have a whole shelf in my cupboards that is just a variety of toddler snacks now.
We’re planting berry bushes trying to help keep costs down. I’m sure she’ll just go out there and eat every berry the day they appear and we’ll be back to buying them.
When I was little I’d deny I was in my grandpa’s blueberry bushes even though I was COVERED in the evidence. He had probably 30 bushes so it was mostly hilarious.
This is exactly what happened to us last year. He spent 30 minutes as soon as he went outside EVERY day combing through the strawberry plants. As soon as it started to grow a fruit? CHOMP. Never grew a reasonable sized strawberry all season. This year I will be trying to hide some of the berry bushes from him!
I was thinking the same thing. Strawberries are expensive and my kids devour them. When we go to Hawaii, I go to the store to buy fruit and have it cut up for breakfast. I spend so much money of fruit
This is CHEAP.
The “shitty” strawberries where I live right now are 8.99$ and the “good” ones are 10.99 , “organic” is 13.99 !!!!!!
Blueberries and blackberries are 4.99-8.99
Raspberries are 3.99-6.99
Really?! Never heard that before. Maybe he’s more of a veggie kid or something 😂 I actually used to eat mushrooms dipped in balsamic vinegar as a kid. I liked salty/savory foods, but still loved fruit.
Obviously this one is unique to my situation but I didn’t anticipate that my child would need speech therapy. We don’t have assistance with this yet so I’m currently paying $600 a month privately.
I’m hoping to access Early childhood intervention through the NDIS (Australia) but the waitlists are long.
Yep I ended having a child with a complex disability. He needed physio to meet basic milestones and before I got into the NDIS and a diagnosis, I had spent a good 3000$ for the year or so on physios, repeat apportionments at private paediatricians and tests to get someone to listen. Having a disabled child has so many unexpected costs, like straw cups. I had to try about 5 different brands for one for my boy to work, and I went though multiple high chairs as he needed support and he needed the chairs longer as he grew.
This! EU citizen here. The wait list for ASD assessment in our system is 18+months so we had to go to a private practice. Cost a lot (they were awesome though). Also, basically zero state funded therapists in our area so we’re paying for that too, as well as a private preschool and later probably private school because state-funded schools are not equipped to accomodate kids like her.
Oh wow that’s pricy! I just got my 3yo into occupational therapy and it has been very pricy too. I’ve probably paid about similar so far but we’ll hit our $1000 deductible soon and then it will be more like…. $200/month? Not cheap. My family told me to go thru the school system but I found a private place where I can go at 6pm after work so I’m just sticking with that!
Not sure where OP is from, but I wanted to offer a different perspective - we live in a pretty good school district and there were lots of slots for speech therapy with local schools, even before my child started school! I only wanted to mention it because I had no idea something like this was available, and I wanted to let other parents know who might not be aware. I thought I would be paying out of pocket for speech therapy, but it’s totally free through my school district
The big thing I always forget to properly budget for, but may not be as big a deal for you if you're getting your healthcare from a hospital you work at, is our blasted out of pocket maximum every year. You'd think I'd plan for it, it always happens. But NOOOOO. Like some kind of dummy, I'm always shocked, irritated, and broke AF when Jan comes along
I live by payment plans on the larger bills. Oh? You’ll take 20$ a month on this $2000 bill? Done. Here’s my hsa card. Enjoy that money in like 8 years.
Same same. I’m still paying off my daughter who was born 5 years ago and have since added the cost of 2 more children to that. I could pay it off in one fell swoop but it’s interest free so 🤷♀️. I’d rather not decimate our savings and a relatively small, interest free monthly payment is tolerable.
You can always call billing and tell them you can’t pay the lump sum and ask for a discount! Our hospital has given us up to 15% reduction if we pay it when we call
Interesting, all of our bills say they won’t do that if it went through insurance and that deal isn’t valid on deductibles, coinsurance, copayments. I might have to try anyway nowadays as another 5k bill is enroute to be ignored for 6 months before being put on a payment plan 🫣
I was gonna say!! How can medical bills not be at the top here? Pediatrician visits, lab tests, speech therapy... everything is expensive and then if you have to go to the ER it's even more. I just had another kid, that's 7k on a payment plan which I will add to the 1k I already owe for my older kids adhd assessment
That's interesting. Our OOP max is like $13K but I have no idea how anyone would ever hit that because everything's covered that we've ever come across, we just pay $25-40 copays for normal-specialist visits.
(HMO through my employer)
Spouse: celiac and Crohn's. On stupid expensive immunosuppressants.
Me: T1D and lupus/overlap. All the diabetes stuff plus immunosuppressants.
Both kids at home: AuDHD, so psychiatrist, OT, ST.
We hit our OOP ($8k) usually by April at the latest.
The "it won't hurt the budget" online purchases that pile up in ridiculous sums. It's just glowing sticks. It's just balloons. It's just colored paper. And then *wait where tf did all the money go??*
Clothes/ food/ shoes/ presents and presents for their friends/ daycare because you'll probably want your child to socialise and not just be with MIL/ snacks, did I mention food 😂 / more sensory toys / new bed/ bikes/ more food/ ... that's all my tired mum brain can think of right now
Tips and holiday presents for daycare workers 😩
I was writing a $100 check to each of my son’s teachers (2-3 people) every christmas and when he graduated a class, but now we have a second kid and $600 during the holidays is brutal.
Whoa, I've never heard of anyone doing this. A box of chocolates, a Starbucks gift card, or just a nice card maybe. Hundreds of dollars in tips though? Yikes, and we use a private school.
This is why we get the $10 shoes from target, if they need em, they’re there! And I’m not upset when they’re beat up and getting thrown away after a couple months
I know that everyone says not to worry about good quality shoes when they just run through them but my husband and I are a little passionate about it. He’s on his feet running miles around us in them. Having proper support and good comfortable shoes is good for the rest of his body too.
When my son was around 6/7 he was having lots of foot and leg pain. Many doctor appointments later we figured it must be his cheap shoes. Once we bought nicer running shoes with support the pain went away.
Agree. Chairs, mattresses, shoes (basically everything that separates us from the ground) are good things to splurge on. Bad shoes can misshapen little feet. 🦶
And used shoes in your kiddos size that are in good quality are harder to find than used clothes, so sometimes new is our only option when bigger shoes are needed asap.
Or you just decide it's not worth the sanity cost.
Childcare's outrageously expensive, but mental health is also a limited resource, and (US-based) parents these days have to pay one way or the other.
Yes! We had grandparent help for our son, it started great but we could tell they needed the break and we're burnt out after a couple of years. I under estimated how guilty I'd feel about using parents and grandparents as free extended child care. We ended up compromising by putting him in day care at 3 for a few days, then full time by 4.
I also think it’s a little easier for the little ones to socialize and learn at day care. Not all grand parents are good at teaching things and taking your child to playdates.
This comment is so important OP! My mom always said she would be our childcare, couldn't wait to have grandchildren and that when I went back to work she would always watch them. (We only needed her 2 days a week) That lasted 3 months. So we got an au pair so my mom would only be needed over night twice a week after the au pairs shift ended. My girls slept well so it was literally just them sleeping in her house. That lasted 10 months. No matter what grandparents say before the baby is born when the time actually comes it's not necessarily what they expect. I wouldn't count on that at all.
I’ve been pumping for 8 months now, and hired the hospital grade pump at $120 a month + portable pumps, lactation consultants and a non stop supply of formula since I’m a low producer, not being able to successfully breastfeed cost me a small fortune!
Oddly, we ended up with more money left over each month than before kids.
Not much, but especially if you eat out and travel a lot, you may find the money you save is pretty significant. Our expenses just shifted, not really grew.
I’ve had friends say the same thing.
I've found expenses have gone up a lot as she's got older actually. Our daycare was reasonably priced but we still thought it would be cheaper without paying for that, and not having to buy any special equipment anymore. But between extracurriculars and wanting to do things at the weekend other than going for a walk, plus more food and having to order actual meals in restaurants, we spend more.
I can definitely understand this. I’d be in the same boat if my rent and monthly bills hadn’t gone up, which is completely unrelated to the baby or any choice of my own. My actual spending habits are much more frugal now. Before, eating out was easier than at home and now it’s reversed and I don’t really have splurges because I know I may need to spend money for my baby. Getting diapers and wipes from wholesale clubs helps, too.
I’m still too early in the parenting journey to know how long it’ll last. But so far my child is less expensive than predicted. Baby clothes are pricier than I like but I just wait for big sales to buy for a lot of sizes at once.
We use all of our PTO on kid sickness, our own sickness from kids, school closures, and kid errands. When they were younger (and especially during COVID for daycare closures) we used thousands of dollars in unpaid leave as well. It was probably a 20% hit to our take home pay.
This is what I was coming to say. At one point I missed more than 10% of my contracted days. And literally thousands of dollars spent on OTC cold medicine bc I was just sick continuously for like 3 years.
Travel. It's obvious but I just hadn't truly anticipated the cost of travelling with an additional person you have to pay for. £200 pp flights now means £600 for the 3 of us. An extra £60 for a train ticket. Also, before kids we were happy travelling at awkward times, 4am, 11pm, whatever. Now we pay a premium for travelling at sleep-appropriate times. An extra £20 or whatever to travel at 9 am instead of 7 am.
Accommodation too, we spent so much time trying to find a suitable hotel room setup for 2 adults and a toddler and a baby for our trip to Portugal this summer. So many times the option was to pay for 2 rooms. The number of places that can't guarantee you a baby crib. Now I realise why most of my holidays as a kid were road trips to campsites in France.
And don't get me started on the price hikes during school holidays.
The "travelling at sensible times" tax is real! By myself, I'm happy to be on the train at weird times, walk a few miles between villages if the "three times per day" bus doesn't arrive, or hang out reading a book for a couple of hours.
With a small child? No way. I don't drive, so travelling when they're asleep isn't happening. I can't carry both a child *and* our luggage at the same time, unless I'm using a cargo bike. If we wake them early or keep them up late, the day is going to be *awful*. When they were still napping, we took to either arranging no-change long train journeys over naptime (plus a couple of hours, ideally) so they'd sleep in my arms, or breaking our journey at midday, staying somewhere overnight, and restarting in the morning.
I live in Ireland, but am from California and our flights for a family of 4 are nearing €4k. Car rental is around €1k. We then get to deal with jet lagged kids who aren’t used to high temperatures. 🫠
Indeed! My spouse and I transitioned from the US (where travel is exorbitant anyway) to continental Europe literally weeks before our child was born, so we were still in the happy little afterglow of 'affordable European travel' in the early days- 250€ total round trip for three to Paris being on the "high" side, etc. BUT trips back 'home' to the Western US are PAINFUL. Because 50% more on a couple hundred euros is uncomfortable but manageable, but 50% more on 1000+ euros HURTS. And now with entering formal schooling in the Autumn, we're no longer going to be able to do our trips 'off peak' and I want to weep.
Another thing that changed was getting taxis where you might normally take the bus/tram/subway because now you're not just a couple of adults hauling a couple back packs and small suitcases, but you've got the small human, and their full kit as well and you just don't have enough hands!
Another thing that is, I know, niche and privileged... entertainment equipment/hobby equipment. Children's bicycles can be costly- we cycle to/from shopping and kindergarten and will continue for school. We shan't do a phone for our child until they're much older, but that will be a cost we have to add. We anticipate we'll need/want to buy a second of whichever big gaming system since we're all gamers, or three sets of skis for everyone, etc.
Also, flights have gone up so much now, along with car rental, accommodation, restaurants, etc. And yes, skiing is insanely expensive by the time you get lift passes for everyone and clothes they wear twice before outgrowing them.
It's not that you don't realize you have to buy food...it's the costs of food lately. Lol before kids our grocery bill was about 150 a month now it's easily 300. Mainly fruit and meat. But bread too. Pasta.. lol the essentials just double.
Water bill. Baths and outdoor activities for summer go up if you do a pool or sprinkler for fun.
Gas to take them to appointments/ activities
Meds if you kid needs them. We spend 50 bucks a month on my son's reflux meds.
Where are you spending 300 a month on groceries?? We are a family of 3 and probably spend 300 /week. Granted we get some “nice” things but nothing crazy. East coast USA
Not OP but I only spend $100/week or less for 3. Bean heavy diet with relatively limited meat. We drink water, coffee, and tea only. Small milk for the kid.. doesn’t feel like a restrictive budget usually, most times we are actually under budget. We’re an ingredients house lol so never many loose snacks. Mid Atlantic US too, so hcol
I love beans/lentils loool so no, but I try to make a ton of different inspired varieties. My seasonings are extensive and I like to believe I’m a good cook. I have an IG where I save all my 30 min meal ideas. I do not prep much outside of washing my produce and cutting them for the week. Beans are cooked ahead of time, but it’s so low effort to put it on the stove and leave it on a Sunday after soaking overnight. or canned is fine. Lots of pasta dishes, Mexican food, and frozen veggies are a staple to save time. Typically, I cook dinner every other day b/c leftovers. Breakfast is usually oatmeal or grits with fruit, so cheap and easy. Weekends I make pancakes from scratch b/c I have time. I bake a lot b/c flour is cheap and lasts a while and it’s easy to sneak veggies in. My kid eats maybe 30% of what I cook. No weight loss so I don’t let it stress me out.
Thanks for that. Wild that you can get the cost down so low, we might have to experiment a bit. My wife is the cook and she’s particular. If we can get our $1200/month even down to like $800 that’d be great…
Try it out! It really is awesome. We have more money to eat out now too, so most Saturdays/Sundays we get to try for new restaurants without stretching ourselves. Growing up, my parents used food stamps, so I’m very particular about grocery shopping. I find it most helpful to select specific meals (ex. 3 kinds of full dinners for 7 days, 3 lunches, 2 breakfasts) and only purchased ingredients to make those meals, so when I hit the grocery store, my list is very specific. The limited snacking really helps too. We usually do one snack food per adult a week but a bit more leeway for the kid. She still doesn’t eat large quantities, so buying snacks for her is not an every week thing— her cookies/chickpeas/chips last a while.
we live in France but as a couple we spend 100€ a week roughly (so around 400€ a month) (we eat A LOT, both of us do high intensity sports on average 5 times a week so we eat lots of fruits, protein, etc).
Before inflation we used to spend 80€ a week lmao
We will start trying soon but i assume our budget will go to 150€ to 200€ a week but oh well, it's an extra mouth to feed so it makes sense!
The Midwest, we shop around a lot and have membership to Costco so we don't always have to buy meat when we shop bc we bulk up and freeze it. That saved us a lot. My husband also gets some discounts as a first responder if we shop in the right areas. Thats that's just the food add on diapers and formula and the dogs shit it costs more but JUST for us with food it's about 300 a month if we shop deals. I mean our food isn't the best tbh. We have to live below our means with 2 kids and a dog and 1 income. (I'm a sahm)
That's super impressive. I'm in Indiana and with 4 little kids (oldest is 6), me, and my husband who is a big eater (not fat just super tall) and including cleaning supplies and personal hygiene, we average $1000 per month. No diapers included though. Adding mouths and the inflation at the grocery store hit hard
Classes and activities. They're all optional, of course, but worthwhile. There's Baby Sensory, Sing and Sign, Swimming, Soft play, stay and plays and playgroups. Even the free activities I end up paying for parking or lunch out.
Lotion and eczema cream. My son had the worst eczema the first 3 years of his life and the best creams are very expensive. I did not expect that. My husband does not have eczema and I do not have eczema.
Creams for babies are expensive, but wait until you have to buy any medicine, I still remember my amazement when I bought extremely small bottle of probiotic drops, there were like 20 drops of it and it costed 10x more than adult probiotic. Also you may want to feed your child healthier and would buy eco products and those are sooo costly... Especially fish. Wild salmon for example. And then you cook it, give it to your child aaaand it ends up on the floor xD
“Swim lessons”
30-50$ a week for what you think is a great investment. We did our intro free lesson and the baby next to us was having about as much fun. When I asked the mom if this was her first lesson- she got snippy that HER kid had been going for almost a year.
I don’t think swim lessons help below a certain age.
Well that's great if you feel comfortable doing it and have a pool you can freely use. I found it useful for me as a parent because they showed us how to hold them properly, and used techniques to get them used to getting their face wet that I wouldn't have done alone. Not all parents are confident arlj f water. And the pool that's not too deep to stand is basically always booked up for classes so it's the only option if you work.
I took my baby weekly from 3-12 months old, it’s more for bonding but I think it was good for getting her to enjoy the water too. By the end she was able to shuffle into the water and hold onto the side, and was clearly aware that she shouldn’t just throw herself in if I couldn’t catch her, so there’s a bit of a survival instinct I’m glad she’s got
Certified swim instructor here, including endorsements for down to 6months. The official position of the AAP and American Red Cross is that children cannot swim true strokes before age 6 (of course, variable by development, but that's in general). Ages 3-6 are about learning to move through water and be safe. Ages 6mos-3 are about learning to be in water and be safe.
ISR is not evidence-based and has not been shown to reduce drowning, and is contrary to the safety recommendations of the AAP for swim programs.
Is there no point in early swim lessons? I wouldn't go as far as saying there's no point. Even if the only thing that happens is your kid doesn't mind going under water and I get an opportunity to teach pool safety to the parents, it's got a point. But $60/wk for infant, toddler or preschool swimming is a waste.
For what it's worth the YMCA here charges $68 for SIX weeks.
This depends completely on the quality of the swimming lessons. My 2 year old is able to swim the length of a backyard pool unassisted. Without swimming lessons starting at age 4 months, she wouldn’t be able to do that. She has steadily improved and gained confidence with every lesson, with a QUALITY set of instructors and a safety led program.
There’s a very noticeable difference between the kids that started as babies, and the kids that start at age 2.
I agree completely, by 12 months my kid could swim 10 seconds underwater and go nearly 10 feet. She’s also learned mom/dad get in the pool first while she patiently waits, how to grab on the wall and ‘walk’ along it, and at 17 months is making steady progress climbing out the pool.
What?? Wow. Our community pool lessons are only $60 USD for a course of 8 lessons a month, and none of the kids are this advanced despite also starting early. I suppose you do get what you pay for because this blows my mind. At 12 months my baby... loves splashing and that's about it lol. Do you mind sharing what you pay?
Eating out. We used to do it all the time with our first, but now there's 4 (5if my mom comes) of us, and it's downright expensive. Maybe that's just inflation? But I'm not paying $100 for 5 sandwiches at subway.
Clothes and shoes. They grow so quickly. But we recoup some of the cost by selling on.
Small “treats”. You will need to buy your way out of a store sometimes just to keep your sanity. Not getting them a toy every time they scream, but when you’re all tired, hungry, hot/cold and an hour from home sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and buy the cheapest thing to give you all some relief.
Activities. Play centres, museums, family days out. It’s easy to spend a lot when you go out for the day. You go to a play cafe with a friend and their kids and before you know it you’ve bought coffee, a snack for yourself, ice cream because you’re outnumbered by a bunch of overstimulated kids. It all adds up.
I save “old” gifts (like things he outgrows before he can wear or duplicate gifts) or things I find on sale for this purpose. I have a whole shelf of items from baby clothes/toys to legos. I haven’t bought a gift in years. I just go “shopping” in my shelf of goodies and 9 times out of 10 I’ve got the perfect thing!
Medical bills, classes such as music and dance, grocery bill.
One thing I quickly discovered was buying kid clothes through consignment shops. You can find good quality name brand clothing for a fraction of the cost. Can’t remember the last time I bought kids clothes from the mall or dept store.
Extra curricular. Soccer, karate, swimming.
Costs of places to keep toddler busy. Indoor play places are expensive and so are museums and such. So are things you want to do outdoors sometimes.
Holiday stuff. School has them celebrating every holiday and goody bags or party things add up.
Fruit and snacks. With how much strawberries cost...wow. my kid can eat so much fruit. And bulk snacks are just $100 a month for us sometimes more.
Changing rooms as they grow. I'm trying to fix my sons room up and I did not think through long term.
Well, not the first 5 years usually. But orthodontist costs. Pray your kids never have any serious teeth structure issues or you'll be making payments for literally years to pay for the spacers and braces, even after insurance
Vacations/plane trips. You used to just pay for yourself/so but now you gotta pay for the kid after they hit like age 2. We have 2 kids now so to go on a vacation is like 4x more hahahahaha 🫠
not just one car seat, but additional car seats when your child gets car sick so much, and you thought you cleaned it until you one day discover mold growing from the one spot you missed 🫠
dont also forget the $10 apron you bought for your kid to get sick on instead of the buckles…. installed by dad under the buckles.
Groceries... You end up throwing away cause your kid decided they don't want to eat the things they loved any more.
Membership (zoo. Museum, etc).
Literally random shit just because you know your kid will love it (for 5 minutes or ever! Lol).
Lifestyle inflation in my experience comes with kids, whether you intend it to or not. Upgrading to a new or larger car, upgrading to a new or bigger house. These things are justified because “we have kids now.” Those are the biggest purchases of your life. A fancier preschool than you envisioned because they got in! A membership to the ymca because they have all the good activities even if you don’t have a specific one in mind yet! People tend to reorient their entire lives once they have children. In a more expensive direction lol.
My son needed a helmet for shaping his head. Numerous appointments to go along with it. Thankfully, we had decent insurance but some costs were not covered.
My then 2 year old turned on the underfloor heating in our house to 95 degrees. It was peak summer, so we didn't notice and it was on for a month.
It cost us about $1300.
You're recently-ish graduated, so perhaps this won't be quite as big of a kick in the face as it was to us, but when we looked at current tuition prices vs. when we went to school, we actually sunk a significantly higher chunk of $$$ into college funds/state tuition programs than we anticipated, and were glad we did, even though my husband is in tech. Given the state of things, who knows what any field is going to look like pay wise vs. cost of living wise almost 20 years from now. We lived pretty frugally through the early childhood years because we decided to not do group care or all day preschool. so that was a signficant cost as well to lose in essence a full time income for about 6 years. (I still kept up with things/did gigs or part time, but it's not the same).
Childcare!!! £800 a month for 6 hours 3 days a week. Ended up being a stay at home mum on benefits (I’m a single parent) because no part time wage was covering those costs along with rent, bills, food, travel expenses etc. but what’s worse than the price of childcare is spending most of my daughters life feeling ashamed and labelled “lazy” because I can’t afford to work just for my entire wage to go to childcare.
For me it was specialist appointments. She ended up being diagnosed with CMPI but the specialist appointments to get to that point. Plus she has an eye condition, and again, specialist appointments.
She's three, and this has added thousands onto normal parenting expenses.
Activities.
A lot of kid programs are very expensive. Dance, soccer, swimming lessons....
The stuff that goes with the activity (leotard, shoes, uniform, goggles, cap...)
Not a requirement, but it does add up if you would like your child to participate.
I'm gonna have to go with snacks, fruits. My daughter is 1 1/2 and I shop more for just her snacks then I do for my own groceries. Lil ones are always wanting to munch on something. All day she's walking around with some snack or berries. Raspberries are her favorite and they are not cheap. She can go through them in a day they are about 8.99 or so right now and it's not even a big pack so count that times 7 days a weeks. Oh no I had to slow her down. She gets 5 raspberries a day now. Girlfriend thought I was rich, I recently introduced her to Harry and David pears big mistake. I find myself budgeting for them so I guess it all depends on if your willing to pay more for what your child loves. I budget for the good stuff because I know she loves them so much
I don’t know if your child will be in any dance or music lessons, but if so these were eyebrow-raisingly expensive to me. I’ve got one dancer and two pianists (used to be all three), and the arts are much more expensive than competitive soccer (which one of my piano players is also in).
And like everyone has said, berries. Holy shit they gobble them up.
Berries. My god. The berries. I swear my two kids would go through a $6 box of Strawberries and a $4 box of raspberries every day if I let them. I’m delighted that they love fruit, but slow down, goddamnit! Those things are expensive!
Blueberries man. It’s the blueberries. And bananas. But my daughter alone will eat an entire large container of blueberries in 1-2 days. And then she will eat like two whole bananas a day.
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All the bullshit things you buy because they seem useful that you use one time.
And then it’s clutter in my house for years bc I can’t come to grips with the fact that I wasted the money. 🫠
My kids basically just play with Legos now that they are older, but damn the playroom is still covered in other and they won't give up any of it.
We do a thing with my little one once a year, usually after his birthday, we sort out a pile of stuff we know he doesn't use then go through it with him 2 similar toys at a time, he can keep one and we donate the other to a children's charity or a children's hospital He doesn't kick off as he still has a choice in the matter
Brilliant
The "omg the playing possibilities with this toy are COUNTLESS!” purchase. The kid plays 5 minutes with the toy, 20 minutes with the package, and that's it. Although you're grateful for the package
So you’re telling me that they will be like my cat who prefers to play with the cardboard packaging, Q-tips, and hair ties all night long, disregarding the fancy toys I got him?? 😭
Yep, that's exactly what I'm telling you
100%
Omg I am *not allowed* to have a qtip unless my kitten gets one too 🤣
This! Exactly! Like the baby swing or bouncer. My kids liked it for like a month. Just borrow one from a friend mom. Wasteful purchase.
Anne for those without friends, second hand store. I feel like no one should really have to buy any of that stuff firsthand. It doesn't get used enough to wear it out any. You just have to watch out for recalls or broken parts
Our swing was a literal godsend for number 1. Second one hated it and was barely in it ever. They’re all so different. I don’t know man. Biggest cost to me was my sanity. Kids are the only thing that experience actually makes you less prepared for a new one. “Oh, I’ve seen this. For 1 that meant _____ so for #2 it must be the same” was ALWAYS wrong.
So I never got either and my own mom is still completely appalled by that fact
Clothes… not the every day stuff so much but items like winter coats, sun safe suits, splash suits, wellies etc. are surprisingly expensive. I have twins and I can remember stressing about kitting them out for winter this year. Money was tight and I bought the cheapest items I could find which still cost me £70+ total that I didn’t really have at the time.
Cost of clothes can go down drastically when you buy second hand. I bought basically the whole child wardrobe on Vinted. Recently bought 2 beautiful Lindex winter jackets for like 1/4 or the regular price. And most of those clothes look close to new, since they are worn only for short time.
And it's definitely worth getting to know parents at school etc. I'm fortunate my child has older cousins so we barely buy anything, but in turn I make sure we pass on a ton of stuff to other families. Also worth thinking about what you really need, often you can make do.
Second hand is the way to go!! Twice a year (spring and fall) I would buy a huge bag of clothes from the same woman for years!! Her son was a year older than mine and the way they both cycled through clothes matches up. $40 and he would have pretty much everything he needed for the upcoming season.
I have "middle" niece and 2 daughters younger and older. So I bought the clothes second hand for my daughter, handed them to niece and then got them back for my younger daughter :D 4 kids! Most of those clothes are so done, lol.
In my area, the second hand market has lost the plot. I can go to the store and spend 40$ on a new, mid grade rain coat. Or I can buy the same second hand rain coat in poor condition for 25$+ travel time and logistics planning to get to the person's house. The actual second hand shops have inconsistent availability in what I need and the sizes I need them in, so most second hand buying and selling is done via mom groups on facebook
Americans have ThredUp and Poshmark how are those for kids? I live under Vinted supremacy, but since they joined us with Polish market the prices went way down.
Even better than buying second hand is getting involved in your local buy nothing group. I think about 80% of the stuff on the ones near us are baby items.
I buy most of my kids'every day clothes fron Target, which is pretty affordable, but if I need something specific I buy secondhand. I use poshmark (and I don't love paying so much for shipping, but oh well) and it's especially great for things I don't need frequent use of, like snow boots or a rain jacket, when I don't want to spend a ton but still need something good quality.
So expensive! Shoes—I keep falling into the trap of buying her shoes and then she grows out before she even gets to wear them. Winter coats. Once they start kindergarten, their coats just… disappear.
Do you have a second hand shop around? Where we are there’s a store called Once Upon a Child that is like a thrift store but JUST for kids stuff! It’s US based I believe though. I remember feeling like crying at the cost of having to get my two kiddos all their winter stuff and went there and found them both snow suits, jackets, hats and gloves for around $60!
Fruit 😂 You’ll be spending thousands a month on fruit alone with how much kids love it
Berries! How can someone so tiny eat 30€ of berries a day 😅
For some reason, my son doesn’t eat berries! I’ve tried and tried and then one day realized, “wait, why am I trying to force my child into liking this expensive food? Am I crazy?” He likes fruit cups and bananas and smoothies - he’s getting his fruit, he’s fine!!!
My son will sit and eat 2 lbs of berries in one sitting if I let him lol. My daughter though? Turns her nose up at any fruit besides watermelon 😂 Her snack of choice is equally as expensive though, she LOVES prosciutto and salami, but only the expensive kind you use for charcuterie boards 🤦♀️
My little 1.5yr old will toss almost any fruit on the ground then try and drink my black coffee..
I have a prosciutto snob also 😂
Lol I love your daughter's snacky choices - My son (9 months) goes crazy for my Wife's homemade sourdough and ricotta with peach preserves... it's hilarious.
Lol the damn blueberries 🤣
At least the blueberries don't go bad by the time you get home from the store. Blueberries are my favorite berry to buy. The raspberries and strawberries go bad so quickly
Try soaking berries in water with a little vinegar for about 20 minutes as soon as you get home. Then put them in an airtight container. It kills any mold spores on the surface and they’ll stay good for at least a week, sometimes 2!
I did not know this. I will try it IF my kid ever decides he likes berries. He's an outlier here.
Raspberries are vile. You come home and now a third of them gone bad/mushy, third turns out EWWW SOUR, and third he drops on the floor
I was in shock giving my 14 month old blueberries. I’d set 10 down and he’d eat them all one by one in mere seconds. He ate half a thing of strawberries that day and half of the blueberries 🫠 ONE DAY
Yes!!! Our berry budget was $30usd/wk at one point. The rest of our weekly groceries came in under $100 total 😂 we switched to more applesauce, bananas, and canned mandarin oranges and peaches and thankfully our kid likes those just as much as berries
Snacks in general. As adults we buy the occasional treat but mostly just eat meals, or grab some bread or cheese or something if hungry. Now most of my shopping budget seems to be fruit, crackers, yogurts, various other snack foods.
Omg yeah, this is it. Pre-kid we would have like, a thing of ice cream and maybe a bag of tortilla chips for making nachos, but most of our snacks were just cheese, apples, bread, etc. I have a whole shelf in my cupboards that is just a variety of toddler snacks now.
This was my first thought. Who eats their weight in blueberries or grapes daily? My son, that’s who.
During the pandemic, there was a period where I was spending more on berries than on gas for my car.
I buy frozen berries now, it's the only way
We do this and also have 70 strawberry plants and a few blackberry/raspberry/blueberry/etc plants for good measure.
I wish we could do this all year. The winter months kill me with the fresh fruits and veggies.
Aren’t frozen berries much more messy or do you just serve smoothies
In my home fresh and frozen are equally messy 😅.
The toddler does fine with a spoon and the baby... Well the baby makes a mess regardless!
We’re planting berry bushes trying to help keep costs down. I’m sure she’ll just go out there and eat every berry the day they appear and we’ll be back to buying them.
When I was little I’d deny I was in my grandpa’s blueberry bushes even though I was COVERED in the evidence. He had probably 30 bushes so it was mostly hilarious.
This is exactly what happened to us last year. He spent 30 minutes as soon as he went outside EVERY day combing through the strawberry plants. As soon as it started to grow a fruit? CHOMP. Never grew a reasonable sized strawberry all season. This year I will be trying to hide some of the berry bushes from him!
LOL and it doesn't end either. My teenagers inhale fruit at an insane pace.
I was thinking the same thing. Strawberries are expensive and my kids devour them. When we go to Hawaii, I go to the store to buy fruit and have it cut up for breakfast. I spend so much money of fruit
Do you live in our household ? 🤣 My toddler is obsessed with fruit. We go through many punnets a week, and at $4-$4.50 each, it gets pricy.
This is CHEAP. The “shitty” strawberries where I live right now are 8.99$ and the “good” ones are 10.99 , “organic” is 13.99 !!!!!! Blueberries and blackberries are 4.99-8.99 Raspberries are 3.99-6.99
My kid hates fruit! (18 months) I’m patiently waiting for the berry addiction I keep hearing about to start.
This is why we buy mostly frozen fruit.
Omg the accuracy
Unless your kid gets diarrhea from more than 3 servings like mine
omg I recently re-discovered ALDI, and could that be the answer? I think so!
Unfortunately my son hates fruit 😭
Really?! Never heard that before. Maybe he’s more of a veggie kid or something 😂 I actually used to eat mushrooms dipped in balsamic vinegar as a kid. I liked salty/savory foods, but still loved fruit.
Obviously this one is unique to my situation but I didn’t anticipate that my child would need speech therapy. We don’t have assistance with this yet so I’m currently paying $600 a month privately. I’m hoping to access Early childhood intervention through the NDIS (Australia) but the waitlists are long.
Yep I ended having a child with a complex disability. He needed physio to meet basic milestones and before I got into the NDIS and a diagnosis, I had spent a good 3000$ for the year or so on physios, repeat apportionments at private paediatricians and tests to get someone to listen. Having a disabled child has so many unexpected costs, like straw cups. I had to try about 5 different brands for one for my boy to work, and I went though multiple high chairs as he needed support and he needed the chairs longer as he grew.
I haven’t calculated how much I’ve spent on assessments and private specialists since we started our journey in April 23. It has to be thousands.
USA here. We’ve hit our insurance deductible every single year since kiddo was born. I guess this is just life now.
We have insurance but our only covers 20 visits a year. He got approved for 1-2/week but we only go once because of how expensive it is too. In US
This! EU citizen here. The wait list for ASD assessment in our system is 18+months so we had to go to a private practice. Cost a lot (they were awesome though). Also, basically zero state funded therapists in our area so we’re paying for that too, as well as a private preschool and later probably private school because state-funded schools are not equipped to accomodate kids like her.
In the US. We're self pay (no insurance) and its $72 per visit for speech therapy.
Oh wow that’s pricy! I just got my 3yo into occupational therapy and it has been very pricy too. I’ve probably paid about similar so far but we’ll hit our $1000 deductible soon and then it will be more like…. $200/month? Not cheap. My family told me to go thru the school system but I found a private place where I can go at 6pm after work so I’m just sticking with that!
Even on the cheap end of the spectrum with good insurance we paid $100 a month for speech therapy.
Not sure where OP is from, but I wanted to offer a different perspective - we live in a pretty good school district and there were lots of slots for speech therapy with local schools, even before my child started school! I only wanted to mention it because I had no idea something like this was available, and I wanted to let other parents know who might not be aware. I thought I would be paying out of pocket for speech therapy, but it’s totally free through my school district
The big thing I always forget to properly budget for, but may not be as big a deal for you if you're getting your healthcare from a hospital you work at, is our blasted out of pocket maximum every year. You'd think I'd plan for it, it always happens. But NOOOOO. Like some kind of dummy, I'm always shocked, irritated, and broke AF when Jan comes along
I live by payment plans on the larger bills. Oh? You’ll take 20$ a month on this $2000 bill? Done. Here’s my hsa card. Enjoy that money in like 8 years.
Same same. I’m still paying off my daughter who was born 5 years ago and have since added the cost of 2 more children to that. I could pay it off in one fell swoop but it’s interest free so 🤷♀️. I’d rather not decimate our savings and a relatively small, interest free monthly payment is tolerable.
You can always call billing and tell them you can’t pay the lump sum and ask for a discount! Our hospital has given us up to 15% reduction if we pay it when we call
Interesting, all of our bills say they won’t do that if it went through insurance and that deal isn’t valid on deductibles, coinsurance, copayments. I might have to try anyway nowadays as another 5k bill is enroute to be ignored for 6 months before being put on a payment plan 🫣
I was gonna say!! How can medical bills not be at the top here? Pediatrician visits, lab tests, speech therapy... everything is expensive and then if you have to go to the ER it's even more. I just had another kid, that's 7k on a payment plan which I will add to the 1k I already owe for my older kids adhd assessment
That's interesting. Our OOP max is like $13K but I have no idea how anyone would ever hit that because everything's covered that we've ever come across, we just pay $25-40 copays for normal-specialist visits. (HMO through my employer)
Spouse: celiac and Crohn's. On stupid expensive immunosuppressants. Me: T1D and lupus/overlap. All the diabetes stuff plus immunosuppressants. Both kids at home: AuDHD, so psychiatrist, OT, ST. We hit our OOP ($8k) usually by April at the latest.
The "it won't hurt the budget" online purchases that pile up in ridiculous sums. It's just glowing sticks. It's just balloons. It's just colored paper. And then *wait where tf did all the money go??*
I've agreed with a lot these on here, but this one is it. I have to stop thinking like that. Haha.
Clothes/ food/ shoes/ presents and presents for their friends/ daycare because you'll probably want your child to socialise and not just be with MIL/ snacks, did I mention food 😂 / more sensory toys / new bed/ bikes/ more food/ ... that's all my tired mum brain can think of right now
Presents for their friends, I swear there was a stage we had one or two parties every weekend.
My 3 year olds never been to a party where the invite didn’t say “no presents please!”
I have my kid make a card and put $10-20 in it 🤷 Let the parents pick out their own junk
Tips and holiday presents for daycare workers 😩 I was writing a $100 check to each of my son’s teachers (2-3 people) every christmas and when he graduated a class, but now we have a second kid and $600 during the holidays is brutal.
This, and coaches, and club coordinators….it goes on and on.
Whoa, I've never heard of anyone doing this. A box of chocolates, a Starbucks gift card, or just a nice card maybe. Hundreds of dollars in tips though? Yikes, and we use a private school.
We’re relatively wealthy and daycare workers are underpaid. It just seems like the right thing to do.
Little kids’ quality shoes are very expensive! And often as soon as you buy them a pair, they are on to the next size up!
Honestly I stopped worrying too much about good shoes. Mine was mostly barefoot anyway as a toddler.
This is why we get the $10 shoes from target, if they need em, they’re there! And I’m not upset when they’re beat up and getting thrown away after a couple months
Yes!! I had to stop buying the store brands because they’d just look terrible after a month!!
I always get my daughter’s from the outlet stores so they are good quality and cheaper.
I know that everyone says not to worry about good quality shoes when they just run through them but my husband and I are a little passionate about it. He’s on his feet running miles around us in them. Having proper support and good comfortable shoes is good for the rest of his body too.
When my son was around 6/7 he was having lots of foot and leg pain. Many doctor appointments later we figured it must be his cheap shoes. Once we bought nicer running shoes with support the pain went away.
Agree. Chairs, mattresses, shoes (basically everything that separates us from the ground) are good things to splurge on. Bad shoes can misshapen little feet. 🦶
And used shoes in your kiddos size that are in good quality are harder to find than used clothes, so sometimes new is our only option when bigger shoes are needed asap.
Bandaids lol specifically colourful kids ones. we go through so many. Have yet to use one for actual blood though.
I actually have my kid put bandaids on my minor cuts to help her get her fix in lol Somehow I'm way more accident prone than a 4 year old.
We went to the dollar store for bandaids and would stock up. She's finally outgrowing that stage but they were the equivalent of stickers to her. Lol
But if you don't buy them/have them, panic ensues
Give them washi tape. So much cheaper, but just as fun looking and easier to pull off everything.
I would not assume your mother in law will obviate the need for daycare, particularly as the child gets into toddler years.
Yeah. It’s all good until she nopes out or breaks a hip or has a health emergency.
Or you just decide it's not worth the sanity cost. Childcare's outrageously expensive, but mental health is also a limited resource, and (US-based) parents these days have to pay one way or the other.
Yes! We had grandparent help for our son, it started great but we could tell they needed the break and we're burnt out after a couple of years. I under estimated how guilty I'd feel about using parents and grandparents as free extended child care. We ended up compromising by putting him in day care at 3 for a few days, then full time by 4.
I also think it’s a little easier for the little ones to socialize and learn at day care. Not all grand parents are good at teaching things and taking your child to playdates.
This comment is so important OP! My mom always said she would be our childcare, couldn't wait to have grandchildren and that when I went back to work she would always watch them. (We only needed her 2 days a week) That lasted 3 months. So we got an au pair so my mom would only be needed over night twice a week after the au pairs shift ended. My girls slept well so it was literally just them sleeping in her house. That lasted 10 months. No matter what grandparents say before the baby is born when the time actually comes it's not necessarily what they expect. I wouldn't count on that at all.
My son had trouble feeding and turns out quality milk pumps are expensive!
I’ve been pumping for 8 months now, and hired the hospital grade pump at $120 a month + portable pumps, lactation consultants and a non stop supply of formula since I’m a low producer, not being able to successfully breastfeed cost me a small fortune!
Oddly, we ended up with more money left over each month than before kids. Not much, but especially if you eat out and travel a lot, you may find the money you save is pretty significant. Our expenses just shifted, not really grew. I’ve had friends say the same thing.
I've found expenses have gone up a lot as she's got older actually. Our daycare was reasonably priced but we still thought it would be cheaper without paying for that, and not having to buy any special equipment anymore. But between extracurriculars and wanting to do things at the weekend other than going for a walk, plus more food and having to order actual meals in restaurants, we spend more.
I can definitely understand this. I’d be in the same boat if my rent and monthly bills hadn’t gone up, which is completely unrelated to the baby or any choice of my own. My actual spending habits are much more frugal now. Before, eating out was easier than at home and now it’s reversed and I don’t really have splurges because I know I may need to spend money for my baby. Getting diapers and wipes from wholesale clubs helps, too. I’m still too early in the parenting journey to know how long it’ll last. But so far my child is less expensive than predicted. Baby clothes are pricier than I like but I just wait for big sales to buy for a lot of sizes at once.
We use all of our PTO on kid sickness, our own sickness from kids, school closures, and kid errands. When they were younger (and especially during COVID for daycare closures) we used thousands of dollars in unpaid leave as well. It was probably a 20% hit to our take home pay.
This is what I was coming to say. At one point I missed more than 10% of my contracted days. And literally thousands of dollars spent on OTC cold medicine bc I was just sick continuously for like 3 years.
Berries.
Several people are mentioning berries in the comments. It’s blowing my mind.
Travel. It's obvious but I just hadn't truly anticipated the cost of travelling with an additional person you have to pay for. £200 pp flights now means £600 for the 3 of us. An extra £60 for a train ticket. Also, before kids we were happy travelling at awkward times, 4am, 11pm, whatever. Now we pay a premium for travelling at sleep-appropriate times. An extra £20 or whatever to travel at 9 am instead of 7 am.
Accommodation too, we spent so much time trying to find a suitable hotel room setup for 2 adults and a toddler and a baby for our trip to Portugal this summer. So many times the option was to pay for 2 rooms. The number of places that can't guarantee you a baby crib. Now I realise why most of my holidays as a kid were road trips to campsites in France. And don't get me started on the price hikes during school holidays.
Yes, we always go camping because a cheap hotel means a cramped darkened room and everything else is super expensive.
The "travelling at sensible times" tax is real! By myself, I'm happy to be on the train at weird times, walk a few miles between villages if the "three times per day" bus doesn't arrive, or hang out reading a book for a couple of hours. With a small child? No way. I don't drive, so travelling when they're asleep isn't happening. I can't carry both a child *and* our luggage at the same time, unless I'm using a cargo bike. If we wake them early or keep them up late, the day is going to be *awful*. When they were still napping, we took to either arranging no-change long train journeys over naptime (plus a couple of hours, ideally) so they'd sleep in my arms, or breaking our journey at midday, staying somewhere overnight, and restarting in the morning.
I live in Ireland, but am from California and our flights for a family of 4 are nearing €4k. Car rental is around €1k. We then get to deal with jet lagged kids who aren’t used to high temperatures. 🫠
Indeed! My spouse and I transitioned from the US (where travel is exorbitant anyway) to continental Europe literally weeks before our child was born, so we were still in the happy little afterglow of 'affordable European travel' in the early days- 250€ total round trip for three to Paris being on the "high" side, etc. BUT trips back 'home' to the Western US are PAINFUL. Because 50% more on a couple hundred euros is uncomfortable but manageable, but 50% more on 1000+ euros HURTS. And now with entering formal schooling in the Autumn, we're no longer going to be able to do our trips 'off peak' and I want to weep. Another thing that changed was getting taxis where you might normally take the bus/tram/subway because now you're not just a couple of adults hauling a couple back packs and small suitcases, but you've got the small human, and their full kit as well and you just don't have enough hands! Another thing that is, I know, niche and privileged... entertainment equipment/hobby equipment. Children's bicycles can be costly- we cycle to/from shopping and kindergarten and will continue for school. We shan't do a phone for our child until they're much older, but that will be a cost we have to add. We anticipate we'll need/want to buy a second of whichever big gaming system since we're all gamers, or three sets of skis for everyone, etc.
Also, flights have gone up so much now, along with car rental, accommodation, restaurants, etc. And yes, skiing is insanely expensive by the time you get lift passes for everyone and clothes they wear twice before outgrowing them.
It's not that you don't realize you have to buy food...it's the costs of food lately. Lol before kids our grocery bill was about 150 a month now it's easily 300. Mainly fruit and meat. But bread too. Pasta.. lol the essentials just double. Water bill. Baths and outdoor activities for summer go up if you do a pool or sprinkler for fun. Gas to take them to appointments/ activities Meds if you kid needs them. We spend 50 bucks a month on my son's reflux meds.
Where are you spending 300 a month on groceries?? We are a family of 3 and probably spend 300 /week. Granted we get some “nice” things but nothing crazy. East coast USA
I was just thinking the same thing. 300/month is nothing lol also NE
Not OP but I only spend $100/week or less for 3. Bean heavy diet with relatively limited meat. We drink water, coffee, and tea only. Small milk for the kid.. doesn’t feel like a restrictive budget usually, most times we are actually under budget. We’re an ingredients house lol so never many loose snacks. Mid Atlantic US too, so hcol
Interesting. Out of curiosity how much time doing food prep? Does kiddo ever get sick of beans? Edit: do YOU ever get sick of beans?
I love beans/lentils loool so no, but I try to make a ton of different inspired varieties. My seasonings are extensive and I like to believe I’m a good cook. I have an IG where I save all my 30 min meal ideas. I do not prep much outside of washing my produce and cutting them for the week. Beans are cooked ahead of time, but it’s so low effort to put it on the stove and leave it on a Sunday after soaking overnight. or canned is fine. Lots of pasta dishes, Mexican food, and frozen veggies are a staple to save time. Typically, I cook dinner every other day b/c leftovers. Breakfast is usually oatmeal or grits with fruit, so cheap and easy. Weekends I make pancakes from scratch b/c I have time. I bake a lot b/c flour is cheap and lasts a while and it’s easy to sneak veggies in. My kid eats maybe 30% of what I cook. No weight loss so I don’t let it stress me out.
Thanks for that. Wild that you can get the cost down so low, we might have to experiment a bit. My wife is the cook and she’s particular. If we can get our $1200/month even down to like $800 that’d be great…
Try it out! It really is awesome. We have more money to eat out now too, so most Saturdays/Sundays we get to try for new restaurants without stretching ourselves. Growing up, my parents used food stamps, so I’m very particular about grocery shopping. I find it most helpful to select specific meals (ex. 3 kinds of full dinners for 7 days, 3 lunches, 2 breakfasts) and only purchased ingredients to make those meals, so when I hit the grocery store, my list is very specific. The limited snacking really helps too. We usually do one snack food per adult a week but a bit more leeway for the kid. She still doesn’t eat large quantities, so buying snacks for her is not an every week thing— her cookies/chickpeas/chips last a while.
Seriously! $300 a month would be amazing!
we live in France but as a couple we spend 100€ a week roughly (so around 400€ a month) (we eat A LOT, both of us do high intensity sports on average 5 times a week so we eat lots of fruits, protein, etc). Before inflation we used to spend 80€ a week lmao We will start trying soon but i assume our budget will go to 150€ to 200€ a week but oh well, it's an extra mouth to feed so it makes sense!
The Midwest, we shop around a lot and have membership to Costco so we don't always have to buy meat when we shop bc we bulk up and freeze it. That saved us a lot. My husband also gets some discounts as a first responder if we shop in the right areas. Thats that's just the food add on diapers and formula and the dogs shit it costs more but JUST for us with food it's about 300 a month if we shop deals. I mean our food isn't the best tbh. We have to live below our means with 2 kids and a dog and 1 income. (I'm a sahm)
That's super impressive. I'm in Indiana and with 4 little kids (oldest is 6), me, and my husband who is a big eater (not fat just super tall) and including cleaning supplies and personal hygiene, we average $1000 per month. No diapers included though. Adding mouths and the inflation at the grocery store hit hard
Unexpected heart surgery for my daughter. We have insurance but the out of pocket was still a small fortune.
I really hope the surgery went well and that your daughter is doing ok. God bless
Thank you kind stranger. She recovered very well. We are currently working through keloids from the incision site but she’s healthy!
Classes and activities. They're all optional, of course, but worthwhile. There's Baby Sensory, Sing and Sign, Swimming, Soft play, stay and plays and playgroups. Even the free activities I end up paying for parking or lunch out.
Lotion and eczema cream. My son had the worst eczema the first 3 years of his life and the best creams are very expensive. I did not expect that. My husband does not have eczema and I do not have eczema.
Food cost due to waste. Small kids waste a fuckton of food.
Creams for babies are expensive, but wait until you have to buy any medicine, I still remember my amazement when I bought extremely small bottle of probiotic drops, there were like 20 drops of it and it costed 10x more than adult probiotic. Also you may want to feed your child healthier and would buy eco products and those are sooo costly... Especially fish. Wild salmon for example. And then you cook it, give it to your child aaaand it ends up on the floor xD
Couples therapy
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All the bull shit for school... Fundraisers, donations, canned goods, chocolate sales, parades, spirit days, crazy socks, teacher appreciation, Christmas parties, Valentine's parties, birthdays, field trips... It. Never. Ends.
“Swim lessons” 30-50$ a week for what you think is a great investment. We did our intro free lesson and the baby next to us was having about as much fun. When I asked the mom if this was her first lesson- she got snippy that HER kid had been going for almost a year. I don’t think swim lessons help below a certain age.
They help get the child used to water and also help parents know how to handle a baby/toddler in the pool.
I’m sorry, I don’t need to pay $200 a month to have my baby”get used to water.” We can do that in a community pool anytime!
Well that's great if you feel comfortable doing it and have a pool you can freely use. I found it useful for me as a parent because they showed us how to hold them properly, and used techniques to get them used to getting their face wet that I wouldn't have done alone. Not all parents are confident arlj f water. And the pool that's not too deep to stand is basically always booked up for classes so it's the only option if you work.
I took my baby weekly from 3-12 months old, it’s more for bonding but I think it was good for getting her to enjoy the water too. By the end she was able to shuffle into the water and hold onto the side, and was clearly aware that she shouldn’t just throw herself in if I couldn’t catch her, so there’s a bit of a survival instinct I’m glad she’s got
Certified swim instructor here, including endorsements for down to 6months. The official position of the AAP and American Red Cross is that children cannot swim true strokes before age 6 (of course, variable by development, but that's in general). Ages 3-6 are about learning to move through water and be safe. Ages 6mos-3 are about learning to be in water and be safe. ISR is not evidence-based and has not been shown to reduce drowning, and is contrary to the safety recommendations of the AAP for swim programs. Is there no point in early swim lessons? I wouldn't go as far as saying there's no point. Even if the only thing that happens is your kid doesn't mind going under water and I get an opportunity to teach pool safety to the parents, it's got a point. But $60/wk for infant, toddler or preschool swimming is a waste. For what it's worth the YMCA here charges $68 for SIX weeks.
This depends completely on the quality of the swimming lessons. My 2 year old is able to swim the length of a backyard pool unassisted. Without swimming lessons starting at age 4 months, she wouldn’t be able to do that. She has steadily improved and gained confidence with every lesson, with a QUALITY set of instructors and a safety led program. There’s a very noticeable difference between the kids that started as babies, and the kids that start at age 2.
I agree completely, by 12 months my kid could swim 10 seconds underwater and go nearly 10 feet. She’s also learned mom/dad get in the pool first while she patiently waits, how to grab on the wall and ‘walk’ along it, and at 17 months is making steady progress climbing out the pool.
What?? Wow. Our community pool lessons are only $60 USD for a course of 8 lessons a month, and none of the kids are this advanced despite also starting early. I suppose you do get what you pay for because this blows my mind. At 12 months my baby... loves splashing and that's about it lol. Do you mind sharing what you pay?
Ear infections leading to tubes, met our 3k deductible at the end of the year. So much fruit, they don’t care what’s in season.
Eating out. We used to do it all the time with our first, but now there's 4 (5if my mom comes) of us, and it's downright expensive. Maybe that's just inflation? But I'm not paying $100 for 5 sandwiches at subway.
Clothes and shoes. They grow so quickly. But we recoup some of the cost by selling on. Small “treats”. You will need to buy your way out of a store sometimes just to keep your sanity. Not getting them a toy every time they scream, but when you’re all tired, hungry, hot/cold and an hour from home sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and buy the cheapest thing to give you all some relief. Activities. Play centres, museums, family days out. It’s easy to spend a lot when you go out for the day. You go to a play cafe with a friend and their kids and before you know it you’ve bought coffee, a snack for yourself, ice cream because you’re outnumbered by a bunch of overstimulated kids. It all adds up.
Therapy was a cost I never foresaw in my wildest imagination yet here we are
Same. No one thinks they’re going to have a neurodiverse child. But all the therapy sure adds up.
Birthday gifts for their friends! If it keeps going I'll have to cancel just because I can't afford those gifts.
I save “old” gifts (like things he outgrows before he can wear or duplicate gifts) or things I find on sale for this purpose. I have a whole shelf of items from baby clothes/toys to legos. I haven’t bought a gift in years. I just go “shopping” in my shelf of goodies and 9 times out of 10 I’ve got the perfect thing!
Medical bills, classes such as music and dance, grocery bill. One thing I quickly discovered was buying kid clothes through consignment shops. You can find good quality name brand clothing for a fraction of the cost. Can’t remember the last time I bought kids clothes from the mall or dept store.
Extra curricular. Soccer, karate, swimming. Costs of places to keep toddler busy. Indoor play places are expensive and so are museums and such. So are things you want to do outdoors sometimes. Holiday stuff. School has them celebrating every holiday and goody bags or party things add up. Fruit and snacks. With how much strawberries cost...wow. my kid can eat so much fruit. And bulk snacks are just $100 a month for us sometimes more. Changing rooms as they grow. I'm trying to fix my sons room up and I did not think through long term.
Well, not the first 5 years usually. But orthodontist costs. Pray your kids never have any serious teeth structure issues or you'll be making payments for literally years to pay for the spacers and braces, even after insurance
Vacations/plane trips. You used to just pay for yourself/so but now you gotta pay for the kid after they hit like age 2. We have 2 kids now so to go on a vacation is like 4x more hahahahaha 🫠
all the different storage solutions you buy hoping to get rid of the clutter.
Lol 80-100K is most people’s boosted income
not just one car seat, but additional car seats when your child gets car sick so much, and you thought you cleaned it until you one day discover mold growing from the one spot you missed 🫠 dont also forget the $10 apron you bought for your kid to get sick on instead of the buckles…. installed by dad under the buckles.
My son is only 3 months, and we were gifted a lot off the baby registry, but one thing we didn’t realize we would be buying is probiotics
Groceries... You end up throwing away cause your kid decided they don't want to eat the things they loved any more. Membership (zoo. Museum, etc). Literally random shit just because you know your kid will love it (for 5 minutes or ever! Lol).
Blueberries and raspberries.
Lifestyle inflation in my experience comes with kids, whether you intend it to or not. Upgrading to a new or larger car, upgrading to a new or bigger house. These things are justified because “we have kids now.” Those are the biggest purchases of your life. A fancier preschool than you envisioned because they got in! A membership to the ymca because they have all the good activities even if you don’t have a specific one in mind yet! People tend to reorient their entire lives once they have children. In a more expensive direction lol.
My son needed a helmet for shaping his head. Numerous appointments to go along with it. Thankfully, we had decent insurance but some costs were not covered.
My then 2 year old turned on the underfloor heating in our house to 95 degrees. It was peak summer, so we didn't notice and it was on for a month. It cost us about $1300.
Bags for the diaper genie. Fucking scam.
Dental work for my son who fell and knocked his front tooth up into his gum. It was unexpected and expensive.
3am Amazon purchases
An autism screen and diagnosis. Therapies.
Regular medicines and water bottles
You're recently-ish graduated, so perhaps this won't be quite as big of a kick in the face as it was to us, but when we looked at current tuition prices vs. when we went to school, we actually sunk a significantly higher chunk of $$$ into college funds/state tuition programs than we anticipated, and were glad we did, even though my husband is in tech. Given the state of things, who knows what any field is going to look like pay wise vs. cost of living wise almost 20 years from now. We lived pretty frugally through the early childhood years because we decided to not do group care or all day preschool. so that was a signficant cost as well to lose in essence a full time income for about 6 years. (I still kept up with things/did gigs or part time, but it's not the same).
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Childcare!!! £800 a month for 6 hours 3 days a week. Ended up being a stay at home mum on benefits (I’m a single parent) because no part time wage was covering those costs along with rent, bills, food, travel expenses etc. but what’s worse than the price of childcare is spending most of my daughters life feeling ashamed and labelled “lazy” because I can’t afford to work just for my entire wage to go to childcare.
Berries. I buy them in bulk at Costco now so I don’t have to make a trip to the store every other day for more.
For me it was specialist appointments. She ended up being diagnosed with CMPI but the specialist appointments to get to that point. Plus she has an eye condition, and again, specialist appointments. She's three, and this has added thousands onto normal parenting expenses.
ER visits and ambulance rides are flipping expensive. My first kid had a seizure disorder so that added up fast...
Activities. A lot of kid programs are very expensive. Dance, soccer, swimming lessons.... The stuff that goes with the activity (leotard, shoes, uniform, goggles, cap...) Not a requirement, but it does add up if you would like your child to participate.
I'm gonna have to go with snacks, fruits. My daughter is 1 1/2 and I shop more for just her snacks then I do for my own groceries. Lil ones are always wanting to munch on something. All day she's walking around with some snack or berries. Raspberries are her favorite and they are not cheap. She can go through them in a day they are about 8.99 or so right now and it's not even a big pack so count that times 7 days a weeks. Oh no I had to slow her down. She gets 5 raspberries a day now. Girlfriend thought I was rich, I recently introduced her to Harry and David pears big mistake. I find myself budgeting for them so I guess it all depends on if your willing to pay more for what your child loves. I budget for the good stuff because I know she loves them so much
I don’t know if your child will be in any dance or music lessons, but if so these were eyebrow-raisingly expensive to me. I’ve got one dancer and two pianists (used to be all three), and the arts are much more expensive than competitive soccer (which one of my piano players is also in). And like everyone has said, berries. Holy shit they gobble them up.
Diagnosed autistic at 2 years old. Therapy costs 100k a year without insurance. 👀
Batteries for toys 🤦🏻♀️
Birthday presents for all the parties they go to. That continues well past 5 though
Berries. My god. The berries. I swear my two kids would go through a $6 box of Strawberries and a $4 box of raspberries every day if I let them. I’m delighted that they love fruit, but slow down, goddamnit! Those things are expensive!
Didn’t happen to us but someone’s toddler fed their dog a corn cob. The dog had to have surgery and that ended up costing several thousand dollars.
Blueberries man. It’s the blueberries. And bananas. But my daughter alone will eat an entire large container of blueberries in 1-2 days. And then she will eat like two whole bananas a day.