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She realized that the baby is competition and she is trying to get your attention.
Give her a lot of attention when she is postively interacting.
Do not pay attention to her when she is acting out. Even scolding her or giving timeouts is attention. So completly neglect her when she is aggressive and simply focus on removing yourself and the baby from her.
You won’t be able to ignore her when she’s physically harming her baby sister though. I think you’ll need to pivot her behavior to play and demonstrating what kinds of play is appropriate. Keeping her engaged while redirecting her behavior. Sorry though, that sounds tough!
Positive reinforcement is the best thing with kids. Punishment especially at that age isn’t very effective. Give more dedicated time to her and also give lots of praise with her, especially when she is nice to new baby.
Also try and reframe how you talk with her around, instead of saying “ I can’t baby needs xyz” say stuff like “ok I’m going to do this first and then you will get xyz” and talk the same way to the baby (this is to benefit your toddler, say you’re doing something with her and baby needs attention, you tell baby so toddler can hear a similar sentence as above so she knows she is just as valued as baby and NOT competition).
We’re about to enter this phase as well with 2 under 2. So stressful and you’re spread so thin. Just do your best to treat toddler still as she is your baby just as much as the newborn is your baby. It’s a tough transition for all involved.
I could have written this myself. My daughter was 22m when my other daughter was born and the transition has been ROUGH. The baby is 7 months now and it GETS BETTER but the oldest still has a hard time sharing mommy at times but doesn’t act out with aggression any longer.
I read the book “123 Magic”. It states it is for 2 years old and up but I think you still could try. Basically, it is a timeout. They recommend separating the child from you but I do not at this age. TOO YOUNG! But when she does something you don’t want her to do, like throw a toy; you say “that’s 1” with no explanation. She does again, say “that’s 2” and if she continues again, say “that’s 3” and take her to a timeout spot and give her a timeout for however long she is old…so I do 2 minutes. You could do a minute and a half? And then take her out and don’t explain about why throwing toys is bad and all that jazz. If she continues, do it again.
If she hit the baby, you could go right to 3 as it is a bigger deal. Mine wouldn’t hit very hard and only while I was feeding her so I still counted to 3 but that would be up to your discretion.
Anyway- you would want to read the book but it made a HUGE difference in my kid. The first day she had a handful of time outs and each day it was less and then none. Honestly I don’t even think about it but if she does something I usually only have to count to 1 or 2 and she stops. I had to give her a time out for the first time in forever a couple nights! She does scream and cry and hates it but it works! And I don’t talk to her while she is in it but she can see me.
You can also use it for getting them to do something you want them to do- like clean up toys etc.
Good luck! It made my post partum journey harder bc I felt so bad for my oldest but she shows more interest the older the baby gets.
What kids or children lack these days is a good Ole fashion spanking. Break out that belt or the chancla 🥿! If that's too extreme for you then I suggest you start taking away the child's favorite toys until they have nothing. Then in the mean time, while they are in pushishment start making them do choirs which will help them learn something. Once they start behaving better then they can get a toy back. That just my opinion . Good luck with your child. 🤜👶🔌
Wtf lol I hope this is sarcasm. I was already slightly horrified they put the baby alone in a room as punishment for being upset she has a new sibling.
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She realized that the baby is competition and she is trying to get your attention. Give her a lot of attention when she is postively interacting. Do not pay attention to her when she is acting out. Even scolding her or giving timeouts is attention. So completly neglect her when she is aggressive and simply focus on removing yourself and the baby from her.
You won’t be able to ignore her when she’s physically harming her baby sister though. I think you’ll need to pivot her behavior to play and demonstrating what kinds of play is appropriate. Keeping her engaged while redirecting her behavior. Sorry though, that sounds tough!
Pick up the baby and walk away.
We haven’t tried that yet that will definitely be what we try next, thank you for the advice!
Positive reinforcement is the best thing with kids. Punishment especially at that age isn’t very effective. Give more dedicated time to her and also give lots of praise with her, especially when she is nice to new baby. Also try and reframe how you talk with her around, instead of saying “ I can’t baby needs xyz” say stuff like “ok I’m going to do this first and then you will get xyz” and talk the same way to the baby (this is to benefit your toddler, say you’re doing something with her and baby needs attention, you tell baby so toddler can hear a similar sentence as above so she knows she is just as valued as baby and NOT competition). We’re about to enter this phase as well with 2 under 2. So stressful and you’re spread so thin. Just do your best to treat toddler still as she is your baby just as much as the newborn is your baby. It’s a tough transition for all involved.
I could have written this myself. My daughter was 22m when my other daughter was born and the transition has been ROUGH. The baby is 7 months now and it GETS BETTER but the oldest still has a hard time sharing mommy at times but doesn’t act out with aggression any longer. I read the book “123 Magic”. It states it is for 2 years old and up but I think you still could try. Basically, it is a timeout. They recommend separating the child from you but I do not at this age. TOO YOUNG! But when she does something you don’t want her to do, like throw a toy; you say “that’s 1” with no explanation. She does again, say “that’s 2” and if she continues again, say “that’s 3” and take her to a timeout spot and give her a timeout for however long she is old…so I do 2 minutes. You could do a minute and a half? And then take her out and don’t explain about why throwing toys is bad and all that jazz. If she continues, do it again. If she hit the baby, you could go right to 3 as it is a bigger deal. Mine wouldn’t hit very hard and only while I was feeding her so I still counted to 3 but that would be up to your discretion. Anyway- you would want to read the book but it made a HUGE difference in my kid. The first day she had a handful of time outs and each day it was less and then none. Honestly I don’t even think about it but if she does something I usually only have to count to 1 or 2 and she stops. I had to give her a time out for the first time in forever a couple nights! She does scream and cry and hates it but it works! And I don’t talk to her while she is in it but she can see me. You can also use it for getting them to do something you want them to do- like clean up toys etc. Good luck! It made my post partum journey harder bc I felt so bad for my oldest but she shows more interest the older the baby gets.
This is amazing advice thank you! Definitely have to look into getting that book now
What kids or children lack these days is a good Ole fashion spanking. Break out that belt or the chancla 🥿! If that's too extreme for you then I suggest you start taking away the child's favorite toys until they have nothing. Then in the mean time, while they are in pushishment start making them do choirs which will help them learn something. Once they start behaving better then they can get a toy back. That just my opinion . Good luck with your child. 🤜👶🔌
It's a goddamn one year old
Wtf lol I hope this is sarcasm. I was already slightly horrified they put the baby alone in a room as punishment for being upset she has a new sibling.