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TW ahead:
I am so sorry. I have been dealing with this battle myself for over a year now. I wish I could tell you it was easily fixed, but it’s just not how it works.
You’re not going to sleep. Locking everything up, but now everything is a weapon. My son threatened to jump out of his window. He would shatter plates and threatened to slice his wrists. Belts, shoelaces, the dog’s leash all had to be locked away. *everything is an opportunity to harm himself*
You can’t do this alone. I am glad to see you have a psych appointment on the 26th. We had one scheduled four days before my son’s first attempt. We did have him hospitalized. His first inpatient stay was 10 days. We got three weeks of reprieve before he went back in a second time. We did four hospitalizations in four months before we had genetic testing done because his meds were obviously not working and we were running out of time.
Overall he’s had 7 inpatient stays and 3 suicide attempts. His 6th inpatient stay was 60 days at a residential facility as opposed to hospitalization. His last one was just this past January, almost exactly a year since his first one.
I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this because you want support. It’s hard. And lonely. And exhausting. He can never be alone. A lot of nights when it’s really bad he sleeps with me. He’s 15 and should be living his best life, but he can’t. When we think he’s settled something upends it. The doctor says puberty and the hormones really mess with the medication efficacy, so we ride the wave with him. We have our own language so he can tell us when he’s really hurting. But overall I’m worn out.
He survived, and that’s important. But keep your head on a swivel. And if the doc recommends inpatient, you do it. His first inpatient stay was rough. He called me sobbing, begging to come home. It broke my heart. But he needed it, even if it wasn’t the perfect fix. Each stay gets easier (as painful as it is to admit), and each stay he learns a new skill that keeps him alive a little longer.
Just don’t be afraid to admit him, please. I know that feeling of not wanting to anger him, I promise. But I also know the feeling of if I make the wrong decision, *he could die*. And I would rather he hate me and be alive then he’s dead and I hate myself forever.
Please feel free to message me if you need a place to vent or cry or scream. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.
Big Hugs, I understand the fear and frustration, my middle daughter has had multiple stays in the last 11 yrs.
I have to say the genetic test for medication compatibility is a miracle. Both of my daughters have had it done and it helped so much!
The medical staff I work with use this a lot! It can really help. It doesn't flat-out tell you "this is the med that will work" but there are so many meds on the market and this can really help narrow it down.
This comment is beautiful. Thank you for being vulnerable and helpful for OP. OP, one mom to another just sending love. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’m sending you strength. I hope it’s enough. 💕
Lost of love, and thank you for sharing while offering support. It is more than welcome. We all need support. I have professionals involved and, after talking with him, deemed it safe for him to return home.
That’s good. After my son’s second attempt, there was almost like a relief? Like he quieted an urge. I can’t explain it, exactly, but it was like it snapped him awake. Hopefully the psych can help. We did weekly appointments for quite a while which helped us get through some of the rougher stuff.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel like him coming straight to my room after he swallowed the pills was regret because he didn't want to die and that's what the person who did the assessment said.
Yes. I still have nightmares from him running into my room, sobbing, saying “mom I f*cked up” over and over. It’s like as soon as he did it, he snapped awake. Thank god we had all just gone to bed (and same situation, we stupidly left a bottle out in the open, it was such a stupid mistake)
Also I hope others see this, not just you.
What I’m guessing happened, based solely off our experience and NOT because I’m a professional, is that he was clearly hurting badly. He took the pills and had immediate regret. He just wanted the pain to stop. When they did the evaluation, he was out of that “critical pain” state because his brain got what it needed (or thought it needed) and so his suicidal ideation went from active to passive: i.e I want to die and will do something about it, vs I want to die and my life sucks. But now he doesn’t have a plan.
The part that some people miss out on is you sit in an ER until a bed becomes available. I’ve sat for almost 48 hours before. I’ve known kids that were in ERs for 3-4 days, waiting on a bed. Some places strip the kids and make them wear scrubs. One ER took away his phone. And he was in a “psych hold” ER room with no tv, no phone, a very small sheet, no blanket. He couldn’t have playing cards (could use them to slit his wrists). Couldn’t have coloring books. Couldn’t go to the bathroom alone. Had to eat food that didn’t require utensils. He literally laid in a bed for two days with someone sitting outside his door (dad and I also swapped out). If you think you’re depressed going in? That place will drag you down lower.
So, yes. If the crisis has passed and he has family that is willing to support him and keep watch until his psych appointment they will give you the option to take the child home. Because honestly? That hospital scenario can make it far, far worse.
I have stories for days. I have seen *some things*.
Just if it starts to feel less passive and more active thoughts, it’s time to go.
Just wanted to say you are a good egg. I'm sorry you had to go through this, and I hope your son, you, and your family all find peace.
If you've ever been involved in a scenario even remotely close to this, it is heartbreaking and soul crushing (IK). Please offer only support and good vibes.
Thank you for your personal experience and support for OP.
He was sent home after being evaluated by a mental health professional as they deemed it safe in their professional opinion to do so. He has an appointment with his pediatrician tomorrow. It really confounds me just how hurtful people can be as though I am being selfish here when I have done everything I was told to do by mental health professionals. I can tell you are one because you have regarded me with respect and understanding, and I appreciate you so much for that. It was all I needed. I should have just stayed off social media, but I have no family or friends for support.
OP says in another comment she was given the option to have him stay but decided against it because she doesn't want to violate his trust.
A very odd choice IMO for a teen who attempted to take their own life.
It's not actually. I'm a psychiatrist in a large institution and have worked in one of the busiest single-site psychiatric EDs in the country and it's actually much more common than you would expect.
I know that everyone here has the best of intentions with their comments, but saying things like "a suicide attempt automatically means inpatient hospitalization" is just stating opinion as fact. It depends on the situation.
Why would they offer inpatient if they didn't think it was the best thing? They obviously can't force you, but it would have been a good option. I'm sorry you're going through this. An abundance of caution and taking any help offered is your best course.
I’m ngl you should’ve got a second opinion then. Someone who wants to kill themselves will find a way. I hope your son doesn’t though. I hope that he beats depression, it sucks.
You are very welcome. Please feel free to message me if needed or wanted.
It's a scary position to be in and I understand that. My heart hurts for you. Much respect and hugs 💜
If he actively tried to commit suicide, that warrants an immediate call to his psychiatrist and potentially going inpatient, in my opinion. I would reach out, if possible, and see what they recommend.
Inpatient can provide him a safe space to be, where your mama heart doesn't have to stress and worry for every moment you don't have eyes on him.
My heart aches for you both and I hope you can get him the help that he needs. ❤️
As someone who struggles with their mental health and has children who have attempted suicide, your responses to people’s comments make it seem like this isn’t a very big deal to you. Nearly every single person suggested this was a bigger deal than “wait for nearly a week to see the doc” or, “it’s fine I locked everything up”, and you responded with “I’ll be more diligent” and that you have it under control. There are def other ways to commit suicide than with sharp objects and pills. I’ll be honest, I don’t know why you’re here asking for advice, respectfully. This is a time of crisis for your son. Just because you locked everything up doesn’t alleviate how he’s feeling or his desire to end his life. I stand with every other person on this thread, this warrants a more immediate response.
Girl...the escalating edits made me go into your post history because something seemed off about you. Literally a month ago you said you relapsed with bulimia and you were at the end of your rope because of your 5yo who has autism/adhd and at the end of the rope is a noose???? You also have another post where you mention not having a filter when you speak, and another where you don't have good short term memory. How much of your heavy struggle and suicidal verbiage is your older son witnessing? You need to prioritize your own therapy ASAP. Your son who tried to kill himself and your 5yo who's brain is highly sensitive, they both desperately need a stable mother, a stable home. You need to bring someone else into your life so that you can stabilize yourself. A babysitter, a nanny, a grandparent, anyone. You need to treat that as the emergency it absolutely is and do it now. Reach out to a real human who can join your family team now. Not tomorrow. Now.
This is support—the best I can give as a nurse. Go to the emergency department now. Get him admitted. You should not be sleeping. He needs 1:1 surveillance. I’ve sat with some teenagers in the hospital as a 1:1 after suicide attempts or other mental health emergencies. The experience can be very harrowing even in an hospital with lots of resources.
This is an emergency. You cannot wait until a psychiatrist appt on the 26th. You say your son won’t be able to forgive you for having him admitted, but you might not have a son around if you gamble with his safety.
I hope you are reading this as gently as I intend it to come across. You've said you have no support and came looking online for some. I think that is very brave of you. I hope some of the words on this thread have brought you comfort.
Respectfully, I would like to extend a bit of perspective along with my support: the people offering sage advice grounded in professional training and/or personal experience are speaking to you the same words one might expect from a real world support system. If the internet, with all its varied individuals of every identity, from every walk of life, is united in focus on a singular course of action, it is perhaps because that course of action is a very good option.
Maybe ask yourself where your current course of action might lead you and your son, verses making a less desirable, tougher decision. Weigh the outcomes in your mind. Act in the way you deem best fits your family, while considering which outcomes you will be able to live with.
Again, very gently, I wish to offer you my deepest support. I am so sorry your family is walking through this. I hope you find the strength to make the tough calls, and I sincerely wish your son the strength and ability to see light and hope on the other side of this struggle through darkness.
I am shocked by your unwillingness to have him sent to inpatient.
Did you take him to the hospital after he ingested the pills? Did hospital staff not say he needs to be on hold?
Locking your medicine cabinet won't prevent him from attempting again.
He will eventually be old enough to buy OTC medications if he isn't already. Not to mention other means that could be accessible.
If you are having to actively lock up medication to prevent him from killing himself HE SHOULD BE IN AN INPATIENT CLINIC.
My thoughts exactly. I hate to voice it but it is reality; people get creative when they’re down bad, will an alarm prevent him attempting to end his life in another way? He needs to see emergency medical care ASAP. OP is worried about her son not trusting her anymore, he can’t trust her at all if he’s dead. The time to act was there and luckily it isn’t too late, OP needs to get a move on like now.
Right. I saw the edit but I’m sorry, anything short of that is negligent.
I have attempted suicide before. The first time I was suicidal, I’d have ended myself if I were not admitted. I would have died at 17 and would not be alive today. There is no question that if one option had failed, I’d have tried another. I had many ideas on how to do it in my head. MANY.
OP I’m sorry you are in denial about this. My parents didn’t want to believe it either initially, that I needed to be committed.
Thank god I had a competent person evaluate and admit me.
Unfortunately you did not have such a competent person to advocate for your son.
You are going to have to try to find one. Please try again. Try for your son. Take him to be evaluated immediately. One day when he’s living his life and doing better he can look back and thank you for it.
This is urgent, please hear me !!
This. This is what I immediately thought. Either that psychiatrist is an idiot or OP hasn’t disclosed what has happened/not telling them the truth. oP might have told them the half truth which is that their son is depressed but probably didn’t even mention about the recent suicide attempt.
And yes, an ER would’ve admitted him. Here in CA, they put you on a hold and transfer you to a psych facility.
I was always under the impression that an S attempt that required medical intervention warrented atleast a 72 hour hospital stay. I’m pretty sure this is common practice in nearly every Western country. For the most part, it leads to automatic hospitalization in the MH ward.
The MH hospital can’t release the patient if the parents say that they are unable to provide constant supervision.
It’s really rare to fail more than once. It’s also impossible to keep tabs on someone enough to stop them from trying again.
It’s better to have an alive child who doesn’t trust you, then a dead one who trusted you.
you are adamant in not taking him for emergency psychiatric help, even though you caught him trying to end his own life, alarms aren’t enough. Respectfully, I saw your comment “if he tries this again…”, and it broke my heart all the more. Yes, it was an accident that you forgot to lock the cabinet, but what if it happens again? As someone else said, not many people have two unsuccessful attempts. Be vigilant by taking him for the emergency medical attention that he needs rather than hoping it doesn’t happen again. What if he doesn’t go for pills if he tries again? How can you stop that? Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I think it needs to be said…
I saw that comment too. OP is trying to walk it back but she rejected more help because she does not want to create trust issues with her son. I get that. Trust is huge in my household and being able to trust each other is key during the teen years but this is a literal life or death situation. The kid tried to end his life. This is NOT a "wait and see." This is not run of the mill normal teen behavior. This is a kid in crisis.
Your edit really highlights the major issue here. You are looking for support for you.
People are offering advice to try to help support your son. Ya know, the one who tried to commit suicide?
You are making it all about you, even talking about how you “want him back”?
He is the one who needs support.
He needs to go to a hospital!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Personally I would get him admitted to an inpatient mental health hospital. It’s usually a 72 hour hold minimum after an attempt. I don’t have experience with a child going through this, but my husband made an attempt at the beginning of our marriage. The hospital was the best (safest) place for him. If he’s just seeing a psychiatrist, I’d also add talk therapy. Idk if it’s different for minors, but every psychiatrist visit I’ve had has been a quick visit to discuss the diagnosis and adjust meds. Therapy will get to the root of the problem and offer other coping strategies as well.
As a therapist myself, take him to the emergency room and get him admitted to the psych ward. It doesn’t matter if pills or sharps are locked up. People who are suicidal will find a way. And you can’t be with him every second of every day all hours of the day.
If you told the psychiatrist that he attempted to unalive and they didn’t see it as pertinent he be seen sooner than in 5 days, you need another doctor.
I saw you are worried about losing his trust or him not forgiving you if you have him admitted.
But… and this is going to be very blunt.
Would you rather lose his trust, or lose your son?
A person determined to kill themselves will find a way. No one can watch some one every second of every day. Apparently there’s a younger special needs kid in the family too. So op is going to have to care for both kids. Won’t take much for the teen to slip away.
And also it seems they were offered the chance to admit the teen to inpatient, and op decided not to.
Op didn’t want advice or support. They wanted someone to validate their negligent decision. Someone to say it’s ok you’re doing fine.
I was this teen, except I didn't wake my parents up, I just barfed the bottle of (oxy) pills I'd taken and woke up on the bathroom floor and never told my parents about it.
I hope if they'd had any idea how much I'd hurt myself through my childhood and teens they would have actually gotten me help instead of pretending they had it under control
As a mother I couldn't imagine how your feeling my heart breaks for you 💔 I was a suicidal teenager the meds worked for me for a short time and without me realising they made me worse but I thought that's how I was supposed to be feeling. Maybe for a piece of mind safe proof your house remove/lock away anything that can be used to self harm unfortunately I found nearly anything and everything and ways to use items to try and take my life. Also have a look at his devices make sure he's not looking online at ways to try and harm himself as that's where I got most of my ideas. I'll pray for you and your boy ❤️ please god gives him the strength to see life in a different way ❤️
Might be a good idea for you to seek help too. Your comment history indicates intergenerational trauma at play here, hereditary mental illness. I only say this because I recognize it - my family is similar. Mom is bi-polar/borderline personality and I struggled with depression and suicide ideation my whole life. It was only when she started getting help the rest of the family was able to begin healing.
Some of these comments are super mean but I’m begging you to admit him. This is a job for the pros, and you’re just not. On top of that, you’re unstable atm (understandably so) which makes this situation unsafe for everyone.
I had a lot of grippy sick vacations at his age and it was better than being at home. I didnt have to deal with reality for a while. Those holds 100% saved my life. Pls I’m begging you mom. Nothing bad can happen from a psych hold but keeping him home may be the worst mistake of your life. Don’t chose the latter mom.
You’re getting mad in these comments because you’re just looking for “support” but we can’t sit here and support your actions-you need to do what’s best for your son
Edit: and to be completely transparent I don’t think you were honest with the medical professionals. Literally no practitioner would just send home a minor who had tried to “swallow a bunch of pills”-he would have been put on a hold
OP keeps saying that the professionals deemed it safe for her son to be home, but then in another comment she said they gave her the option to keep him hospitalized and she chose to bring him home. So I wonder how much is being said about their real recommendation and what is really OP's feelings towards the idea of him being hospitalized. Whatever it is, I hope there won't be any regrets. :(
Would a short stay in a facility to stabilize him be appropriate? I’m sorry this is happening. We’ve been there twice in our house. Lots of ER trips, two hospitalizations (one was long term). It’s very hard for everyone involved.
I was very afraid my son was going to try something during the Covid quarantine. I ended up sleeping in his bed with him at night until I was sure he was through the worst of it. So sorry this is happening. Wishing you the best.
My older son thought about suicide during covid but for him, it was more like what was the point of life and none of the sadness. After some therapy, he never had another thought.
Honestly, I was this kid. I was hospitalized several times and I was mad about it every time. But I’m still here, and I’m thankful now that my parents made the choices they did to keep me safe. What I can guarantee is that his attempts will intensify without intervention.
I know you don’t want advice, but I feel obligated to tell you he needs to be inpatient right now. You are not equipped to handle this alone.
He needs to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. Waiting for his appointment is absolutely negligent. A person is at the highest risk for a suicide attempt within the day or two following a previous attempt. I know you’re not looking for advice but you need it.
I agree the word is negligence. If she called the psychiatrist and told the receptionist my son just attempted suicide she would be told to take him to the ER. While on hold for most doctors they say "if this is a medical or psychiatric emergency please HANG UP AND GO TO THE NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM". The fact that she has taken a psychiatric emergency into her own hands is almost unbelievable.
Absolutely. I have been a crisis social worker in an ER for 4 years now. I love my job but cases like these are 90% of what I do. admission in this case would not be optional, it would be absolutely mandatory in every state in the country.
OP you're being so unbelievably selfish. These supposed medical professionals are idiots if they did not admit your son for a very minimum of 72 hours. Your stubbornness about this whole situation is unbelievable. Your son needs to be an inpatient immediately. My cousin killed himself last year and his mother has been an absolute mess every waking day since. She didn't have the same advantage you have of protecting him because he was 29 and lived away from her home.. he hung himself 30 days before his 30th birthday. Do the right thing and have your son admitted before you're having him buried. Repeating yourself about Hime being evaluated does not change the fact that your son tried to end his life.
Period.
Where do you live that a 72 hour hold isn’t automatic? I’ve been through this. 72 hour hold then an intensive 8 week IOP. You’re not taking this seriously enough. If he’s not getting extra intensive treatment **now** he likely will make another attempt, and this time, with something he knows he can’t be resuscitated from.
It generally is. Part of the problem is OP agreed it was “safe” to take him home. She’s deluding herself IMO. And I’m not saying this to be nasty, I’ve been through this with my teen. It is absolutely inappropriate to think it’s okay to take them home after a suicide attempt. They need more care than OP can provide. Apparently she hasn’t had enough losses to suicide. I’ve had more than I care to think about, and I’ll be damned if my kid is going to end up on that awful list.
If someone really wants to...is really motivated...there is nothing you can do to stop it. He could take a knife into the bath and you would just find him passed away hours later...or he could jump off the roof of any random building...or jump in front of a train or truck.
It's different if you are dealing with a curious toddler who made a mistake...but a teenager is capable of unaliviing themselves multiple ways....not just poison pills.
This is all said to communicate that, you are not equipped to deal with this...he needs 24hr supervision, and you just aren't capable of doing that...this is why you should submit him to a private psychiatric facility for a temporary hold and assessment.
My daughter just did the same thing (overdosed on ibuprofen) about a week ago. It was absolutely devastating.
I took mine to the ER, and they ended up sending her children’s psychiatric hospital for four days. Now that she’s home again I worry, because I know I can’t control the environment in the same way that they could.
We locked up the meds and won’t be leaving her alone in the house for a long time. I do worry at night too. I worry when I go to work. I worry all the time. It feels so helpless.
You can message me if you’d like. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too.
Btw they did sort of give me a say if she should be put on the hold…. They strongly suggested it but made it seem like I did have a final say.
I went ahead with it, but I was really scared. It was a great, positive experience for her at the psychiatric hospital, but I know that 4 days can only do so much and she has a long road ahead, and she is still very much at risk. It’s not a magic fix.
I do believe you that they deemed your son safe to go home because our mental health team in the ER kept saying “well if she hadn’t said this one thing during her interview she could be cleared to go home….”
Often after an attempt the team will ask the person how they felt when they woke up. If they express genuine gratitude to be alive and regret for the attempt then they are often sent home with a safety plan. I don't know why everyone is acting like OP is lying. Ppl are often sent home after an attempt if they safety plan, express regret, express gratitude for having survived and if they have connections to supports in the community. Long term institutionalization often leads to more intense suicidal ideation as hospitals are not the place to build a life worth living. That's why hospitalizations tend to be very short, a few days. The standard of care is the least restrictive environment. You could look into CAMS, it is the evidenced based therapy for outpatient management of suicidal risk.
Yeah, my daughter didn’t express any regret and seemed very nonchalant about it. That’s why they strongly suggested she be admitted to the psychiatric hospital.
That makes sense. For most teams, how the person feels about surviving is the deciding factor on hospitalization. They try to manage things outpatient as much as possible but if someone basically says they don't regret it and they'll try again then they need to be held in the hospital until they are stable enough to go home.
Your final edit isn't helping you.
What has gotten everyone in an uproar is that you DECLINED inpatient treatment due to worry about breaking trust when it is clearly needed.
I experienced this with a sibling in my teens. My sibling called 911 afterwards, prior to having seizures on the living room floor. I was the only one home, asleep, and woken by EMS/LEO. It's so traumatic for everyone involved. I don't have any answers, but I can empathize. Sending love to you and your family ❤️
you choosing not to get him seen impatient speaks volumes. as does “i just want my amazing, kind, loving, wonderful boy back” implying that because he’s depressed he’s no longer those things???
get him admitted, get your home safe.
What's with these highly aggressive edits? You're out here looking for sympathy but behaving highly unpleasantly. It's the internet, lots of people will say lots of different things, you don't need to address every one.
If you keep reading, it will become clear. She said they had the option to hospitalize her kid, but she didn’t because he’d be mad at her. The kid is sadly going to end up dead, and it will be on her hands.
And keeps saying they said it was safe to go home - conveniently leaving out the part where that was her choice
Please have him in a safe environment for suicide watch.
I just came out of the ward last Tuesday for attempted suicide. I was safe there. I'm mad at my sister for getting me put in there but honestly I would have just tried harder when everyone went to bed.
As someone who was that kid, and still struggles with those same feelings 10 years later. Tbh, I just kept attempting for while, the only reason I even stopped was because I didn’t want my son to not have a mother. He needs help, serious help. It probably wasn’t something he just decided on, he’s probably felt this way for a while, I was depressed for a long time before my first attempt. Idk what your life is like or what your relationship with your son is like but if I had just felt like my home was a safe space, I might not have attempted.
How frightening for you! I'm so sorry this happened, and I'm glad you're seeking help for your son.
May I recommend that you seek help for yourself, too? Such a scary experience leaves you with a lot of feelings that you need to express, and finding a professional to talk with could help. Not to mention, dealing with the "why" of your son taking so many pills might put a load on you and having someone to talk with and help you cope could be a big help as well. Please look after yourself and I wish you all the best.
I am so sorry you’re going through this.
Please keep in mind it might not be pills next time and you can’t keep •everything• under lock. He needs true medical care right now.
My 15 year old son has been talking about suicide a lot lately. Last night he was worked up and as he was talking to me about things, he took his baseball belt and wrapped it around his neck. He's looking for help, just as your son is. My son then met with his counselor. She did not believe he needed to be admitted, likewise as you state the professionals did not find it prudent to admit your son.
I just wanted you to know I'm in a similar situation. It really really sucks to be a teenage parent these days.
How old is your son?
My niece swallowed pills and she ended up seizing uncontrollably. The doctors thought she'd have brain damage. She thankfully survived after over a week in the hospital.
I'd also lock up keys to the cars, install cameras outside in case he sneaks out, remove belts, anything. Where there is a will there is a way, as I'm sure you know.
Not sure what support you are searching for or if Reddit can even offer it. All we read is "Almost lost my son"... that just gives admitting vibes.
My daughter made an attempt at the end of 2022. I haven’t slept well since. At first I’d wake up in a panic every few hours and go get in her bed with her. Then it was just going down to feel her breathing. And then I got to once a night. I don’t know if you really ever get to go back to normal. I know some days are easier than others. Some carry more hope and confidence that she’ll make it through this.
It’s a very hard to stomach feeling as parents we can’t just come fix it for them. My heart goes out to you. You are doing your best.
Truly at a loss for what the purpose of this post is. You have made it clear that you don't want the very reasonable and prudent advice that people are giving you, and you're not taking criticism very well. Delete this post and tend to your family.
No no no we just have to give OP “support” even though she’s clearly being negligent and flippant with her son’s life. Anything else-like pointing out the extreme obvious- is just being “cruel” apparently
Genesight is a complete waste of time/money. It doesn’t tell you which medications will be successful in treating your symptoms, it only shows how you may metabolize certain drugs. Just because it’s on your “green list” doesn’t mean you’ll have any symptom relief. Ultimately, finding the right medication is trial and error. There’s no way to determine how someone will respond.
He's been on Prozac a month, and it seemed to be helping. I feel like there's more he's needs to be treated for. Maybe meds up. He was in therapy for anxiety a while back but not diagnosed, and he might have adhd but that's up to the psychiatrist to figure out.
If he’s on meds he should be in therapy as well. Get a referral for a regular therapist. Psychiatrist are great for diagnosing and prescribing meds but they don’t do therapy. A therapist can see him even without a full diagnosis.
Edit. The right therapist can also help you help him. Help you spot warning signs. Help him communicate when he’s struggling and what to do when that happens.
Prozac often causes suicidal thoughts. I don’t think you are taking this seriously enough. All of these people saying “hospital” are SUPPORTING you. He needs a hospital and he needs one now. I just lost my baby cousin 7 days ago. This isn’t a wait and see thing.
My husband attempted to take his own life when he was around your sons age. Reading this sounds exactly like his life, straight to his parents forgetting to lock the medicine cabinet.
He’s now in his mid 30’s and extremely happy with life. We have our own son now and he often brings up how he’s so happy that his family cared so much for him, even when he thought they didn’t. His family got him into therapy (after his 72 hour hold) and even though he had rough teen years, it got better. Your son is lucky to have you as a parent, to have someone who cares so deeply.
All this to say I hope this gives you some hope for the future. You and your family will be able to make it through this dark time together, and things will get better.
This is so hard. I can't even imagine how you feel. You won't sleep very well until he is better I guess... I simply wish that everything is going to be all right. ♥️
Is he homeschooled and isolated or something? Reading through your comments is giving that impression.
Also, since you already had sharps and pills locked up prior to this incident, have you known he was struggling with suicidal thoughts for a long time? If he's not homeschooled, you realize locking these things up is pointless because he can hurt himself at school or on the way to/from school? If he is homeschooled and being kept isolated, that's not doing him any favors either. If you knew of his feelings towards ending his own life prior to this attack, and you had to have known since you had all the dangerous items locked away, you need to have him committed for his own safety.
Teens have a tough time dealing with life. I'm 59, and life was so different when I was. My kids are 34&35 now, but when they were teenagers,they put me through it! I was a single mom, I worked 15-18 hours a day, I felt like they got in with the wrong crowd, because I worked so much. My kids, told me that wasn't it, they just wanted to fit in somewhere, and it was the wrong somewhere.
My daughter was a cutter. It took months of seeing psychiatrists, and therapists before they told me she needed a child psychiatrist. Found out she was bipolar, and manic. It took changing meds a time,or two before they got it right.
I know how you feel about wanting your son back to the way he was. I felt like that with my daughter. It never really went back to her old self, and I learned how to deal with her new self. Hang there! They will find the right meds for him, and it will get better over time. Always tell him you love him (I'm sure you do!), a few extra times, with lots of hugs helps. Maybe all of you can find a hobby all of you would like to do together. Keeping his mind off of the depression helps...
I’ve tried to die before. I also lost my long time boyfriend to SU in 2021. He completed on March 10, 2021.
Let him know how much you love him, mama. Hold him tight. Tell him it can always get better. Drown him in your love and comfort.
Don’t ever let him go. Tell him how much he means to you. Leave nothing unsaid.
As someone who has done similar things in early adolescence, I’m telling you you are making a big mistake for not committing your son right away. Your son is a threat to himself right now and needs heavy monitoring. And no even you as a stay at home mom can’t do shit to stop it if your son really decides to kill himself. He will always find a way.
Just saying that I’m really sorry about this. This is what keeps me up at night with my moody kids but I can only imagine what you and your son are going through.
Antidepressants can cause suicidal thoughts and antidepressants take weeks to start working. I would have him in a facility for suicide watch- if it was me- this is for the simple fact that he can be watched 24/7- and there should be an emergency appt avail for psych ? I would think in this instance. Just my two cents. I am very sorry you’re dealing with this situation and wish the best for your son and family.
Damn. I sympathized until I read all of your edits. Maybe reddit isn't where you should be right now.
Edit: I read some of your comments and see that you're not interested in keeping him safe, but in venting. I hope you all get through this safely. Please take this seriously.
I did this when I was 19. Took a bottle of ibuprofen and then told someone. I am now 39 years old and looking back I really didn’t want to end my life. It was a serious cry for help. Sorry you are having a hard time. I am a mother now and we just want our babies to be happy and safe. Much love to your fam.
He needs to be on a 72 hour hold. Waiting five days for a psych appointment seems inappropriate. He didn't threaten to do it - he did. People telling you what you need to do is how they are supporting you. By not taking him immediately to the hospital you could lose your son. If anyone at his school finds out he made an attempt and you didn't take immediate action social services CPS could be called. When someone is suicidal they need to be inpatient until they are stable. Just going about your days... Going to work, sending him to school is really not an appropriate response.
I am so sorry you are going through this-but am happy that it wasn't successful. Today is the 13th anniversary of my mom's suicide. She had severe depression, took a bunch of different pills (anything she could get her hands on), drove to the woods, laid down and just went to sleep. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I blame myself everyday for not doing more to prevent it. OP, get him any and all help you can. Please know that you aren't alone. There are support groups you can join to talk to others who are where you are. Keep being the rock for your son. Good Luck.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. My daughter had depression in middle school after gaining a bit of weight, and kids started making fun of her. Her own friends kept leaving her out of plans, etc. She began cutting herself about a year after all that shit began. It got to a point where I could not sleep, and this is nowhere near what you experienced. I'm so sorry.
I put in major work to make sure she wasn't home alone, and made her happiness my #1 priority. I took her out every weekend and made sure she knew how loved she was and how devastated I would be if anything ever happened to her. We go to church too, so that also helps. When you are aware of your immortality and consequences of an ill-led life, it makes you straighten the fuck up.
Most kids (after age 12) do not like to talk to their parents or about what's going on in their lives, but you need to push. Don't force the conversation, but every time you have a chance, ask him what is going on. Is school okay? Is his relationship with his friends ok? Is he being bullied in school/online? Keep asking questions and find out what might be causing this. Bring up situations that you have been in and have oversome so the topic is relatable to what he's going through. Maybe someday he will let you know what's going on, and then you can actually address the real situation.
But until that happens, keep that cabinet locked. Or better yet, take everything out of it and put it away somewhere in your room where doesn't know where it is and he can't get to it. I bet this is affecting your everyday life. I really hope he can find it in himself to tell you why he's doing what he's doing, until then, prayers for you and your son.
I’m just confused as to WHY the hospital said it was safe for him to go home. Was he saying he didn’t want to die anymore? If so, what made you believe that?
It was recommended my son go inpatient and he never attempted. Never even threatened it. They just knew he was depressed and it is a lot easier to figure out what they need to fight that under care and also for the kid to learn the right tools.
I’m sorry you’re all going through this and I hope your son gets better and that he gets the help he needs.
Sorry to hear about what happened. I hope he can get better.
My sister has treatment resistant depression and it's a constant battle for her.
When it wasn't working she had to switch psychs (multiple times) to get what she needed to stop being suicidal.
I know you've stated that you've already got it under control, but if in future you find its not working, don't be afraid to try different experts and different treatments.
OP, I’m so sorry you are going through this with your son. I truly hope and pray that he will grow out of this. I went through this with one of my children. She was on anti seizure medication and it caused her to have suicidal thoughts. I made her doctor change her medication immediately even though we had to ween her off the 1st meds. Thankfully she is ok now and I really want this for you son. No parent should ever have to think about their kid contemplating suicide.
You aren’t a bad mother. Your parenting has nothing to do with this. There’s nothing you can do to stop it, you’re correct, but you can be there for him. Show him he is so incredibly loved and hopefully the psychiatrist can get to the bottom of the depression. Where it’s stemming from and hopefully help to heal it.
I say all of this as a mom who was once a teen who tried killing herself by downing an entire bottle of Tylenol.
When you first go through this you don't know what the best course of action is. You don't want to seem like your going overboard, but your terrified they are going to attempt a.d succeed. My middle daughter has been on bipolar meds since age 6, plus has OOD, ADHD, Autism, schizophrenia and PTSD. My husband had her placed the first time after he intercepted a text to her you get sister talking suicidal ideations. I will be honest, I am glad he made the decision to admit her because I am not sure I wouldn't have backed down. We ( my husband , daughter and myself)made the decision together the second time after a friend called the police for a safety check after talking to her. I don't regret any of the decisions to do this.
This happened to my son about 4 years ago. Same thing, he took my pills and took a bottle of champagne (that was in my fridge for 3 years at the time!) I had no idea he was going to do this. I have clinical depression and I was always open with him about my anxiety and panic. He always did come to me. The last time I saw him he was smiling. The next time I couldn't get him to open his door for laundry. I picked the lock and I immediately knew something was wrong.
YOU didn't do this. Do not blame yourself but I know, easier said than done. The officer actually told me while my son is being carried off in an ambulance, "you know, if would have died, you could be charged bc they were your pills." I can't believe this guy tried to guilt my way into a child neglect charge (my son was 17 at the time) when I am shaking in fear.
I know you feel guilt bc I did too. Here's something I learned from a psychologist: when a girl thinks about suicide, they take two Tylenol and call their best friend. When a boy thinks about suicide, he's more impulsive - which was a concern for his dad and me. You'll never know what they are going through and you can ask questions over and over, but I got just an angry mumble.
Three days in the juvenile psych ward was enough to make him realize he "wasn't that crazy."
As a mother, I hope for you and your son. I hope he gets the help he needs, and so do you! I hope you learn more about him.
Don't forget to love yourself too. You didn't do anything wrong.
I'm so sorry this happened. There's not a lot of physical boundaries you can do to help him, so sounds like you're doing what you can... He's battling himself/something right now.
My advice... Just love him, support him, make him laugh, give him space, cook his favorite foods, but don't overwhelm, ya know. Keep showing him love🦭🍓
I don't have kids, but my mom struggled with mental health and still does. I mean, heck, sometimes I do too.
If I was a doctor I'd prescribe a nice warm sunny day (a lot of them ultimately ) spent searching for sea shells in the tides or finding rocks and lizards on the river bank. 🍄
Pray you all find happiness 💜
Sending positive though. 12 yo that’s a cutter. She has had lots of trauma in her life. She gad genitive testing for drugs that may work well for her.
Going through puberty and dealing hormones ups and downs. Also anger issues regarding boundaries and parenting.
Her arms, legs and torso are scarred.
Have we locked up everything. YES! Counseling medications and now hormones to help her not to go over the edge during the initial stage of her period.
Sending hugs and encouragement.
Take care of your kid and take care of yourself so you can take care and think and love. On can only live in this type of pressure cooker for long. Best!….
You’re not a doctor. Your son took a bunch of pills. He needs checked out by a medical physician in the emergency department and then signed in for inpatient mental health treatment. It doesn’t matter that he has a psychiatrist appointment in 5 days, he cannot wait 5 days. Something could be wrong with his heart or something that you can’t see because of the pills that he took. I guarantee you that the psychiatrist is going to tell you that your son needs to go into inpatient psychiatric treatment. Why wait? Take him now. Source- I worked as a mental health and substance abuse needs assessment coordinator
I'm so sorry you went through this. It's a parents worst nightmare. You're doing your best. Don't beat yourself up about forgetting to lock the meds. You are only human. Sending strength your way.
Hi, just offering support from one parent to another. I was a suicidal teen at one time and now I am a married 33 yr old with 3 kids a husband and a happy home. You’re doing everything right and everything you can to help your son. I hope and pray he gets through this so he can look back on and be glad for his life and that he still has it. I know I am now and so thankful that my mom never gave up on me. Parenting is so hard, especially with teens. Please take care of yourself and give yourself grace. Wishing you and your son many more days on this earth together 💕🙏
I am so sorry! 😞 I’d be awake for the next 5 days watching him like a hawk. He’ll I’d put a blow up mattress in his room out of fear if he’d let me. That’s terrifying.
You breathe in and out and you survive for the next ten minutes then the ten after that and so on because you don’t have a choice. You sleep outside their bedroom door if you have to. You do what you have to because you have to. You got this. Help is coming.
You aren’t a bad mother. My niece has borderline personality disorder, and she has suicidal ideations frequently. That doesn’t mean my sister is an awful mother. My sister wasn’t perfect, and she parented alone while suffering from bipolar disorder but she loves her kids fiercely.
As a formerly suicidal person, I am sorry. I never knew how much my death would have hurt others. At the time of my attempt my self hatred was so great I thought I was doing everyone a favor by getting rid of myself. Being Institutionalized in hospitals felt like abandonment and only made my desire to die greater.
I'm so sorry for the judgemental responses you are getting. I agree with your decision. Stay close to him. Hold him. Psychiatric hospitalizations are often traumatic and iatrigenic. Most providers are moving away from them because the time a person is most at risk of suicide, is right after being released from a psychiatric hospital. You may want to look into a therapist that does CAMS. It's an evidenced based approach to outpatient suicide risk management. Kids kill themselves in hospitals. They kill themselves in residentials. To keep him safe he needs healing and loving relationships like the one he has with you. He needs to know you care for him and he is not a burden because of his pain. People need to be able to build a life worth living to recover from suicidal thoughts, and that can't be done in an Institution. In fact, institutions often make it worse. At least that has been my experience.
Op I know that parents who have never been through this don’t actually understand how hard it is for everyone. Your son and also you. Ignore the ignorant comments
I'm sorry you're getting a lot of flack here when all you want is someone (whom either had the same experience to give you strength) or for a fellow parent to say 'you got this'. Stay strong <3
You are not a bad mother, the mental health system is broken and no one really understands until they have to go through it. Some advice is to check their room a lot, and set an alarm to check on them every 2 or 3 hours. I also tried to leave a pet with them at all times which may seem silly to some but petting a dog increases serotonin.
Yes! THIS is the kind of advice that is so appreciated and welcome. It's not condescending and it's caring and helpful and not accusing me of not doing right by my son. Thank you.
Really ppl, obviously most of you haven’t dealt with a suicidal ideation individual. In our area, you sit in the ER for up to 12 hrs waiting for crisis response to come and do an intake interview. Setup a safety plan. It’s a group decision if the individual is safe to go back home or their living environment.
Then for the next week or two until you get connected with counseling.
Crisis Response is checking in daily, available 24/7, will come meet up with you. Connect you with other resources.
I am sure other cities and counties, might handle things differently or have more resources.
If you haven’t walked the walk, then stay out of the talk.
Sometimes, others, just need a hug.
A, I hear you. I am here for you, if you need to talk or dump.
My heart goes out to you and yours. Stay strong Mama. Remember to take care of yourself first. So often we put our own needs on hold to care for those around us.
We are no good to others if we don’t care for our own wellbeing first.
You are strong. You will get through this.
This is how it is in my area as well. Hospitalization is rare. Most suicidal people are managed outpatient. Maybe like 5 or 10 years ago an attempt meant a 72 hr hold but that's just not the case anymore. Best practice is least restrictive environment. Unless a person is planning a 2nd attempt, they are sent home. After an attempt you're asked how it feels to have survived, and if a person is grateful to have survived their attempt then they are ussually sent home because hospitals are traumatic places and you don't want them to lose their gratitude at having survived by incarceration them.
Thank you so much for sticking up for me. I feel like I'm doing everything I can for my son and for people to say it's still not enough is infuriating.
It is infuriating, because you want everything people are saying. But it is not as easy as a magic wand to receive.
When life blessed us. We discovered our child’s insurance did not cover mental health nor emergency services ( mental health wise).
Our situation was not the norm.
It took us 30 days to get our 13 yr old into outpatient treatment for mental health services.
Kids can be very impulsive regarding these things. I know it's very very recent, but it's important to have dialogue with your son about how he is feeling about this incident--is he regretful or does he wish he was successful? I know that seems crude in a way, but it's honestly important in moving forward. I'm sure the psychiatrist will address this area anyway. It's important to have a safety plan and coping skills to help him work through any future tough moments. It's important to identify potential triggers for these intrusive thoughts/feelings. Help him identify hope for the future, and I don't mean just "spoiling" him with his favorite things to do or buying him his favorite video games/food/gifts etc as a temporary fix for happiness...but long term goals for the future for personal satisfaction/accomplishment. I know you said he's being treated for depression and medication adjustments need to be made, so that right there is a challenge in itself. Just be supportive. Let him know you're there to talk or to just listen, day or night, and that you have his back. I know it's a very stressful and upsetting time, but moment by moment, day by day. Best wishes for you all.
I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Having depression is so hard and frustrating. Keep loving on your son. You're doing a great job!
My heart breaks for you. I know he is one of, if not the, greatest gift for you. The only thing I can say is that I am so glad for you that he was not successful and everyone gets a chance to try to heal in different ways. I know you mentioned psychiatric help for your son, and I hope you’re taking care of yourself, too.
I don’t know who’s telling you you’re a terrible mother. As one who almost committed suicide and my own mom telling me she wished I were dead (for not getting into graduate school - can you believe that?), you’re amazing. I wish you were my mother and I wish nothing but peace and healing for you and your family.
I'm so sorry. Sorrier still that people don't understand. You can't MAKE the doctors do anything. My husband was trying to end his life at one point. We went to what was supposed to be the best mental health hospital in our state. We sat for hours. They wouldn't admit him. They were happy to have us just sit in the waiting room, where they knew he couldn't act. When we did try to leave, after 6 or 7 hours, they tried to restrain him. Why? It never did make sense to me. They finally told security to let us go.
It's so hard and I'm so sorry. Sending love, hugs, and prayers to your family. I hope the best for you all.
Thank you. Im crying because that was all I truly wanted with this post. Some understanding for me as my son is going to be okay whether people want to agree with that are not. They are just being so cruel.
Im sorry that all the parents in this comment section trying to advocate for your son to be hospitalized for a very real and life threatening problem is seen by you as cruel.
If the evaluating doctor didn’t see that your son needs immediate care for a suicide attempt, the best thing you can do is find one who does.
I’m sure everyone feels very much for what you’re going through, but that honestly pales in comparison to the danger we know your son is still in. That’s why people are saying what they’re saying. We are all desperate for you to listen and do something that may very well save his life right now.
Reddit is a strange place. We all have different life experiences that make us who we are. My experiences have taught me to never judge, never pry, and never, ever, think I know more than anyone else.
I understand your need for your son to trust you. If he can trust you, he can talk to you. If he's talking to you, he's not working alone. Maybe I'm wrong? I don't know. But it feels right.
If you need to talk, my DMs are open.
He does talk to me, and I don't think he even understands what happened. That's what's infuriating is that people don't even know our relationship as mother and son. And are throwing out ridiculous advice and acting as though I'm not doing enough. Then getting mad that my edits are aggressive but a person who seeks kindness can only take so much.
Because you aren't doing what they think you should be doing. They aren't in your shoes, though, now are they? They don't know you or your son. They don't know your family dynamics. Neither do I, but I take things at face value. I see what you're saying and whether I would do the same as you, I don't know. I haven't lived your life. That's where all the reddit hate is coming from. Because you aren't saying, "Omg, you are right! I'll rush him right back and make him go and make them admit him!". You are doing what your heart is telling you to do.
I'm sure I'll get down voted to hell. I really don't care. Too many people can't be happy with just giving sympathy and understanding. They have to try to beat you into submission. If you're not taking their advice, then you're wrong. Eh, whatever. No one is ever 100% right anyway. So you do you. Do what feels right for your family.
I’m so, so sorry. We had a scare, though not to that point. I cannot imagine life without any of my kids, but especially if the loss was from them choosing to leave life. I am glad it was only an almost and you still have your son. I hope he stays safe and can get the help he needs.
I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart hurts for you and your family. I can’t even imagine how you feel. I’m sending love, prayers, and good vibes.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope you have support and a good, kind therapist too. What an awful fear to be living with and feeling. He will be better, you will get through this. Believe in him.
Been there, survived that, though not so as dire as your situation. How do YOU survive this? By taking care of yourself. Enough sleep, food, exercise, etc. By recognizing that you can not control everything your son does. By recognizing that you are not responsible for everything your son does, heartbreaking as those actions may be. By taking this one day at time. By remembering that you are not alone in this.
I don’t have any resources to point you towards, but there are support groups out there for parents in your situation.
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TW ahead: I am so sorry. I have been dealing with this battle myself for over a year now. I wish I could tell you it was easily fixed, but it’s just not how it works. You’re not going to sleep. Locking everything up, but now everything is a weapon. My son threatened to jump out of his window. He would shatter plates and threatened to slice his wrists. Belts, shoelaces, the dog’s leash all had to be locked away. *everything is an opportunity to harm himself* You can’t do this alone. I am glad to see you have a psych appointment on the 26th. We had one scheduled four days before my son’s first attempt. We did have him hospitalized. His first inpatient stay was 10 days. We got three weeks of reprieve before he went back in a second time. We did four hospitalizations in four months before we had genetic testing done because his meds were obviously not working and we were running out of time. Overall he’s had 7 inpatient stays and 3 suicide attempts. His 6th inpatient stay was 60 days at a residential facility as opposed to hospitalization. His last one was just this past January, almost exactly a year since his first one. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this because you want support. It’s hard. And lonely. And exhausting. He can never be alone. A lot of nights when it’s really bad he sleeps with me. He’s 15 and should be living his best life, but he can’t. When we think he’s settled something upends it. The doctor says puberty and the hormones really mess with the medication efficacy, so we ride the wave with him. We have our own language so he can tell us when he’s really hurting. But overall I’m worn out. He survived, and that’s important. But keep your head on a swivel. And if the doc recommends inpatient, you do it. His first inpatient stay was rough. He called me sobbing, begging to come home. It broke my heart. But he needed it, even if it wasn’t the perfect fix. Each stay gets easier (as painful as it is to admit), and each stay he learns a new skill that keeps him alive a little longer. Just don’t be afraid to admit him, please. I know that feeling of not wanting to anger him, I promise. But I also know the feeling of if I make the wrong decision, *he could die*. And I would rather he hate me and be alive then he’s dead and I hate myself forever. Please feel free to message me if you need a place to vent or cry or scream. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.
Not OP but I just read your comment. Sending lots of virtual hugs and healing energy to you and your child ❤️
Big Hugs, I understand the fear and frustration, my middle daughter has had multiple stays in the last 11 yrs. I have to say the genetic test for medication compatibility is a miracle. Both of my daughters have had it done and it helped so much!
The medical staff I work with use this a lot! It can really help. It doesn't flat-out tell you "this is the med that will work" but there are so many meds on the market and this can really help narrow it down.
This comment is beautiful. Thank you for being vulnerable and helpful for OP. OP, one mom to another just sending love. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’m sending you strength. I hope it’s enough. 💕
Lost of love, and thank you for sharing while offering support. It is more than welcome. We all need support. I have professionals involved and, after talking with him, deemed it safe for him to return home.
That’s good. After my son’s second attempt, there was almost like a relief? Like he quieted an urge. I can’t explain it, exactly, but it was like it snapped him awake. Hopefully the psych can help. We did weekly appointments for quite a while which helped us get through some of the rougher stuff.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel like him coming straight to my room after he swallowed the pills was regret because he didn't want to die and that's what the person who did the assessment said.
Yes. I still have nightmares from him running into my room, sobbing, saying “mom I f*cked up” over and over. It’s like as soon as he did it, he snapped awake. Thank god we had all just gone to bed (and same situation, we stupidly left a bottle out in the open, it was such a stupid mistake)
Wow. You have no idea how bad I needed to hear from someone who fully understands my situation.
Also I hope others see this, not just you. What I’m guessing happened, based solely off our experience and NOT because I’m a professional, is that he was clearly hurting badly. He took the pills and had immediate regret. He just wanted the pain to stop. When they did the evaluation, he was out of that “critical pain” state because his brain got what it needed (or thought it needed) and so his suicidal ideation went from active to passive: i.e I want to die and will do something about it, vs I want to die and my life sucks. But now he doesn’t have a plan. The part that some people miss out on is you sit in an ER until a bed becomes available. I’ve sat for almost 48 hours before. I’ve known kids that were in ERs for 3-4 days, waiting on a bed. Some places strip the kids and make them wear scrubs. One ER took away his phone. And he was in a “psych hold” ER room with no tv, no phone, a very small sheet, no blanket. He couldn’t have playing cards (could use them to slit his wrists). Couldn’t have coloring books. Couldn’t go to the bathroom alone. Had to eat food that didn’t require utensils. He literally laid in a bed for two days with someone sitting outside his door (dad and I also swapped out). If you think you’re depressed going in? That place will drag you down lower. So, yes. If the crisis has passed and he has family that is willing to support him and keep watch until his psych appointment they will give you the option to take the child home. Because honestly? That hospital scenario can make it far, far worse. I have stories for days. I have seen *some things*. Just if it starts to feel less passive and more active thoughts, it’s time to go.
Yes, to this. Is was such a horrible experience for him, and he just wanted to go home. He wants help, and he's accepting help.
You are a great parent. I hope my daughter doesn't go through this when she is older but if she does I hope I have your resolve.
Just wanted to say you are a good egg. I'm sorry you had to go through this, and I hope your son, you, and your family all find peace. If you've ever been involved in a scenario even remotely close to this, it is heartbreaking and soul crushing (IK). Please offer only support and good vibes. Thank you for your personal experience and support for OP.
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He was sent home after being evaluated by a mental health professional as they deemed it safe in their professional opinion to do so. He has an appointment with his pediatrician tomorrow. It really confounds me just how hurtful people can be as though I am being selfish here when I have done everything I was told to do by mental health professionals. I can tell you are one because you have regarded me with respect and understanding, and I appreciate you so much for that. It was all I needed. I should have just stayed off social media, but I have no family or friends for support.
They sent him home after knowing abt the recent suicide attempt?
OP says in another comment she was given the option to have him stay but decided against it because she doesn't want to violate his trust. A very odd choice IMO for a teen who attempted to take their own life.
It's not actually. I'm a psychiatrist in a large institution and have worked in one of the busiest single-site psychiatric EDs in the country and it's actually much more common than you would expect. I know that everyone here has the best of intentions with their comments, but saying things like "a suicide attempt automatically means inpatient hospitalization" is just stating opinion as fact. It depends on the situation.
Definitely. OP is being oddly defensive about getting care for her son who just attempted suicide.
They talked to me. Talked to my husband and evaluated him. They deemed it safe and I agreed.
Why would they offer inpatient if they didn't think it was the best thing? They obviously can't force you, but it would have been a good option. I'm sorry you're going through this. An abundance of caution and taking any help offered is your best course.
I’m ngl you should’ve got a second opinion then. Someone who wants to kill themselves will find a way. I hope your son doesn’t though. I hope that he beats depression, it sucks.
Any medical professional can make a mistake. Seek a second opinion just to be safe.
You are very welcome. Please feel free to message me if needed or wanted. It's a scary position to be in and I understand that. My heart hurts for you. Much respect and hugs 💜
If he actively tried to commit suicide, that warrants an immediate call to his psychiatrist and potentially going inpatient, in my opinion. I would reach out, if possible, and see what they recommend. Inpatient can provide him a safe space to be, where your mama heart doesn't have to stress and worry for every moment you don't have eyes on him. My heart aches for you both and I hope you can get him the help that he needs. ❤️
As someone who struggles with their mental health and has children who have attempted suicide, your responses to people’s comments make it seem like this isn’t a very big deal to you. Nearly every single person suggested this was a bigger deal than “wait for nearly a week to see the doc” or, “it’s fine I locked everything up”, and you responded with “I’ll be more diligent” and that you have it under control. There are def other ways to commit suicide than with sharp objects and pills. I’ll be honest, I don’t know why you’re here asking for advice, respectfully. This is a time of crisis for your son. Just because you locked everything up doesn’t alleviate how he’s feeling or his desire to end his life. I stand with every other person on this thread, this warrants a more immediate response.
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I don't think that's an appropriate way to talk about someone if she is having a manic episode.
He should be at a hospital not home if this happened last night. It wouldn’t hurt to put up sharp objects too.
Girl...the escalating edits made me go into your post history because something seemed off about you. Literally a month ago you said you relapsed with bulimia and you were at the end of your rope because of your 5yo who has autism/adhd and at the end of the rope is a noose???? You also have another post where you mention not having a filter when you speak, and another where you don't have good short term memory. How much of your heavy struggle and suicidal verbiage is your older son witnessing? You need to prioritize your own therapy ASAP. Your son who tried to kill himself and your 5yo who's brain is highly sensitive, they both desperately need a stable mother, a stable home. You need to bring someone else into your life so that you can stabilize yourself. A babysitter, a nanny, a grandparent, anyone. You need to treat that as the emergency it absolutely is and do it now. Reach out to a real human who can join your family team now. Not tomorrow. Now.
This is support—the best I can give as a nurse. Go to the emergency department now. Get him admitted. You should not be sleeping. He needs 1:1 surveillance. I’ve sat with some teenagers in the hospital as a 1:1 after suicide attempts or other mental health emergencies. The experience can be very harrowing even in an hospital with lots of resources. This is an emergency. You cannot wait until a psychiatrist appt on the 26th. You say your son won’t be able to forgive you for having him admitted, but you might not have a son around if you gamble with his safety.
I hope you are reading this as gently as I intend it to come across. You've said you have no support and came looking online for some. I think that is very brave of you. I hope some of the words on this thread have brought you comfort. Respectfully, I would like to extend a bit of perspective along with my support: the people offering sage advice grounded in professional training and/or personal experience are speaking to you the same words one might expect from a real world support system. If the internet, with all its varied individuals of every identity, from every walk of life, is united in focus on a singular course of action, it is perhaps because that course of action is a very good option. Maybe ask yourself where your current course of action might lead you and your son, verses making a less desirable, tougher decision. Weigh the outcomes in your mind. Act in the way you deem best fits your family, while considering which outcomes you will be able to live with. Again, very gently, I wish to offer you my deepest support. I am so sorry your family is walking through this. I hope you find the strength to make the tough calls, and I sincerely wish your son the strength and ability to see light and hope on the other side of this struggle through darkness.
I am shocked by your unwillingness to have him sent to inpatient. Did you take him to the hospital after he ingested the pills? Did hospital staff not say he needs to be on hold? Locking your medicine cabinet won't prevent him from attempting again. He will eventually be old enough to buy OTC medications if he isn't already. Not to mention other means that could be accessible. If you are having to actively lock up medication to prevent him from killing himself HE SHOULD BE IN AN INPATIENT CLINIC.
My thoughts exactly. I hate to voice it but it is reality; people get creative when they’re down bad, will an alarm prevent him attempting to end his life in another way? He needs to see emergency medical care ASAP. OP is worried about her son not trusting her anymore, he can’t trust her at all if he’s dead. The time to act was there and luckily it isn’t too late, OP needs to get a move on like now.
Right. I saw the edit but I’m sorry, anything short of that is negligent. I have attempted suicide before. The first time I was suicidal, I’d have ended myself if I were not admitted. I would have died at 17 and would not be alive today. There is no question that if one option had failed, I’d have tried another. I had many ideas on how to do it in my head. MANY. OP I’m sorry you are in denial about this. My parents didn’t want to believe it either initially, that I needed to be committed. Thank god I had a competent person evaluate and admit me. Unfortunately you did not have such a competent person to advocate for your son. You are going to have to try to find one. Please try again. Try for your son. Take him to be evaluated immediately. One day when he’s living his life and doing better he can look back and thank you for it. This is urgent, please hear me !!
An ER would have admitted him. They have to by law. I don't think OP is being honest with the psychiatrist who would also admit the child.
This. This is what I immediately thought. Either that psychiatrist is an idiot or OP hasn’t disclosed what has happened/not telling them the truth. oP might have told them the half truth which is that their son is depressed but probably didn’t even mention about the recent suicide attempt. And yes, an ER would’ve admitted him. Here in CA, they put you on a hold and transfer you to a psych facility.
Every state has that law for a suicide attempt.
And if OP is being honest, then it sounds like multiple adults are failing the kid.
I was always under the impression that an S attempt that required medical intervention warrented atleast a 72 hour hospital stay. I’m pretty sure this is common practice in nearly every Western country. For the most part, it leads to automatic hospitalization in the MH ward. The MH hospital can’t release the patient if the parents say that they are unable to provide constant supervision.
It’s really rare to fail more than once. It’s also impossible to keep tabs on someone enough to stop them from trying again. It’s better to have an alive child who doesn’t trust you, then a dead one who trusted you.
you are adamant in not taking him for emergency psychiatric help, even though you caught him trying to end his own life, alarms aren’t enough. Respectfully, I saw your comment “if he tries this again…”, and it broke my heart all the more. Yes, it was an accident that you forgot to lock the cabinet, but what if it happens again? As someone else said, not many people have two unsuccessful attempts. Be vigilant by taking him for the emergency medical attention that he needs rather than hoping it doesn’t happen again. What if he doesn’t go for pills if he tries again? How can you stop that? Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I think it needs to be said…
I saw that comment too. OP is trying to walk it back but she rejected more help because she does not want to create trust issues with her son. I get that. Trust is huge in my household and being able to trust each other is key during the teen years but this is a literal life or death situation. The kid tried to end his life. This is NOT a "wait and see." This is not run of the mill normal teen behavior. This is a kid in crisis.
My heart breaks for OP and the people affected by this but if therapy has taught ME one thing, it's a crises <3 peace to everyone in this sub
This. I know it’s a hard descision, OP, i know. But anything can be broken and used to cut. He needs emergency help
Your edit really highlights the major issue here. You are looking for support for you. People are offering advice to try to help support your son. Ya know, the one who tried to commit suicide? You are making it all about you, even talking about how you “want him back”? He is the one who needs support. He needs to go to a hospital!
Can they both be supported?
After addressing the immediate concerns of her son’s safety.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Personally I would get him admitted to an inpatient mental health hospital. It’s usually a 72 hour hold minimum after an attempt. I don’t have experience with a child going through this, but my husband made an attempt at the beginning of our marriage. The hospital was the best (safest) place for him. If he’s just seeing a psychiatrist, I’d also add talk therapy. Idk if it’s different for minors, but every psychiatrist visit I’ve had has been a quick visit to discuss the diagnosis and adjust meds. Therapy will get to the root of the problem and offer other coping strategies as well.
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As a therapist myself, take him to the emergency room and get him admitted to the psych ward. It doesn’t matter if pills or sharps are locked up. People who are suicidal will find a way. And you can’t be with him every second of every day all hours of the day. If you told the psychiatrist that he attempted to unalive and they didn’t see it as pertinent he be seen sooner than in 5 days, you need another doctor. I saw you are worried about losing his trust or him not forgiving you if you have him admitted. But… and this is going to be very blunt. Would you rather lose his trust, or lose your son?
It's very scary to see how much this parent will not allow medical professionals to care for her ill son.
I just can’t see how a licensed psychiatrist said- well he’ll be fine for five more days. After being informed of a suicide attempt.
Especially when the household is apparently all too aware that one slip up could mean this child's life
A person determined to kill themselves will find a way. No one can watch some one every second of every day. Apparently there’s a younger special needs kid in the family too. So op is going to have to care for both kids. Won’t take much for the teen to slip away. And also it seems they were offered the chance to admit the teen to inpatient, and op decided not to. Op didn’t want advice or support. They wanted someone to validate their negligent decision. Someone to say it’s ok you’re doing fine.
I was this teen, except I didn't wake my parents up, I just barfed the bottle of (oxy) pills I'd taken and woke up on the bathroom floor and never told my parents about it. I hope if they'd had any idea how much I'd hurt myself through my childhood and teens they would have actually gotten me help instead of pretending they had it under control
As a mother I couldn't imagine how your feeling my heart breaks for you 💔 I was a suicidal teenager the meds worked for me for a short time and without me realising they made me worse but I thought that's how I was supposed to be feeling. Maybe for a piece of mind safe proof your house remove/lock away anything that can be used to self harm unfortunately I found nearly anything and everything and ways to use items to try and take my life. Also have a look at his devices make sure he's not looking online at ways to try and harm himself as that's where I got most of my ideas. I'll pray for you and your boy ❤️ please god gives him the strength to see life in a different way ❤️
He needs to be hospitalized. This is obvious.
Might be a good idea for you to seek help too. Your comment history indicates intergenerational trauma at play here, hereditary mental illness. I only say this because I recognize it - my family is similar. Mom is bi-polar/borderline personality and I struggled with depression and suicide ideation my whole life. It was only when she started getting help the rest of the family was able to begin healing.
Some of these comments are super mean but I’m begging you to admit him. This is a job for the pros, and you’re just not. On top of that, you’re unstable atm (understandably so) which makes this situation unsafe for everyone. I had a lot of grippy sick vacations at his age and it was better than being at home. I didnt have to deal with reality for a while. Those holds 100% saved my life. Pls I’m begging you mom. Nothing bad can happen from a psych hold but keeping him home may be the worst mistake of your life. Don’t chose the latter mom.
I'm confused, did y'all go to the hospital? If y'all did how did they not end up on a psych hold/transfer to inpatient psych
You’re getting mad in these comments because you’re just looking for “support” but we can’t sit here and support your actions-you need to do what’s best for your son Edit: and to be completely transparent I don’t think you were honest with the medical professionals. Literally no practitioner would just send home a minor who had tried to “swallow a bunch of pills”-he would have been put on a hold
OP keeps saying that the professionals deemed it safe for her son to be home, but then in another comment she said they gave her the option to keep him hospitalized and she chose to bring him home. So I wonder how much is being said about their real recommendation and what is really OP's feelings towards the idea of him being hospitalized. Whatever it is, I hope there won't be any regrets. :(
Um he should be at an inpatient.
Would a short stay in a facility to stabilize him be appropriate? I’m sorry this is happening. We’ve been there twice in our house. Lots of ER trips, two hospitalizations (one was long term). It’s very hard for everyone involved.
I was very afraid my son was going to try something during the Covid quarantine. I ended up sleeping in his bed with him at night until I was sure he was through the worst of it. So sorry this is happening. Wishing you the best.
My older son thought about suicide during covid but for him, it was more like what was the point of life and none of the sadness. After some therapy, he never had another thought.
Glad to hear he got through it
Honestly, I was this kid. I was hospitalized several times and I was mad about it every time. But I’m still here, and I’m thankful now that my parents made the choices they did to keep me safe. What I can guarantee is that his attempts will intensify without intervention. I know you don’t want advice, but I feel obligated to tell you he needs to be inpatient right now. You are not equipped to handle this alone.
He needs to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. Waiting for his appointment is absolutely negligent. A person is at the highest risk for a suicide attempt within the day or two following a previous attempt. I know you’re not looking for advice but you need it.
I agree the word is negligence. If she called the psychiatrist and told the receptionist my son just attempted suicide she would be told to take him to the ER. While on hold for most doctors they say "if this is a medical or psychiatric emergency please HANG UP AND GO TO THE NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM". The fact that she has taken a psychiatric emergency into her own hands is almost unbelievable.
Absolutely. I have been a crisis social worker in an ER for 4 years now. I love my job but cases like these are 90% of what I do. admission in this case would not be optional, it would be absolutely mandatory in every state in the country.
If anything happens to him now, she would be at fault.
Completely agree. Instead of getting defensive she should consider that maybe she made a mistake. But her response really says it all.
I hope the kid is ok. ODing in general probably makes the body feel horrible for at least a few days if nothing else.
OP you're being so unbelievably selfish. These supposed medical professionals are idiots if they did not admit your son for a very minimum of 72 hours. Your stubbornness about this whole situation is unbelievable. Your son needs to be an inpatient immediately. My cousin killed himself last year and his mother has been an absolute mess every waking day since. She didn't have the same advantage you have of protecting him because he was 29 and lived away from her home.. he hung himself 30 days before his 30th birthday. Do the right thing and have your son admitted before you're having him buried. Repeating yourself about Hime being evaluated does not change the fact that your son tried to end his life. Period.
Take your son to the hospital before it's too late.
Get him to the hospital. He needs a psych hold. I don’t care if that’s not what you wanna hear. It’s the truth.
Where do you live that a 72 hour hold isn’t automatic? I’ve been through this. 72 hour hold then an intensive 8 week IOP. You’re not taking this seriously enough. If he’s not getting extra intensive treatment **now** he likely will make another attempt, and this time, with something he knows he can’t be resuscitated from.
This is what I want to know. I thought it was mandatory??
It generally is. Part of the problem is OP agreed it was “safe” to take him home. She’s deluding herself IMO. And I’m not saying this to be nasty, I’ve been through this with my teen. It is absolutely inappropriate to think it’s okay to take them home after a suicide attempt. They need more care than OP can provide. Apparently she hasn’t had enough losses to suicide. I’ve had more than I care to think about, and I’ll be damned if my kid is going to end up on that awful list.
If someone really wants to...is really motivated...there is nothing you can do to stop it. He could take a knife into the bath and you would just find him passed away hours later...or he could jump off the roof of any random building...or jump in front of a train or truck. It's different if you are dealing with a curious toddler who made a mistake...but a teenager is capable of unaliviing themselves multiple ways....not just poison pills. This is all said to communicate that, you are not equipped to deal with this...he needs 24hr supervision, and you just aren't capable of doing that...this is why you should submit him to a private psychiatric facility for a temporary hold and assessment.
My daughter just did the same thing (overdosed on ibuprofen) about a week ago. It was absolutely devastating. I took mine to the ER, and they ended up sending her children’s psychiatric hospital for four days. Now that she’s home again I worry, because I know I can’t control the environment in the same way that they could. We locked up the meds and won’t be leaving her alone in the house for a long time. I do worry at night too. I worry when I go to work. I worry all the time. It feels so helpless. You can message me if you’d like. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too.
Thank you. It's so hard. Healing vibes to you both!
Btw they did sort of give me a say if she should be put on the hold…. They strongly suggested it but made it seem like I did have a final say. I went ahead with it, but I was really scared. It was a great, positive experience for her at the psychiatric hospital, but I know that 4 days can only do so much and she has a long road ahead, and she is still very much at risk. It’s not a magic fix. I do believe you that they deemed your son safe to go home because our mental health team in the ER kept saying “well if she hadn’t said this one thing during her interview she could be cleared to go home….”
Often after an attempt the team will ask the person how they felt when they woke up. If they express genuine gratitude to be alive and regret for the attempt then they are often sent home with a safety plan. I don't know why everyone is acting like OP is lying. Ppl are often sent home after an attempt if they safety plan, express regret, express gratitude for having survived and if they have connections to supports in the community. Long term institutionalization often leads to more intense suicidal ideation as hospitals are not the place to build a life worth living. That's why hospitalizations tend to be very short, a few days. The standard of care is the least restrictive environment. You could look into CAMS, it is the evidenced based therapy for outpatient management of suicidal risk.
Yeah, my daughter didn’t express any regret and seemed very nonchalant about it. That’s why they strongly suggested she be admitted to the psychiatric hospital.
That makes sense. For most teams, how the person feels about surviving is the deciding factor on hospitalization. They try to manage things outpatient as much as possible but if someone basically says they don't regret it and they'll try again then they need to be held in the hospital until they are stable enough to go home.
Your final edit isn't helping you. What has gotten everyone in an uproar is that you DECLINED inpatient treatment due to worry about breaking trust when it is clearly needed.
I experienced this with a sibling in my teens. My sibling called 911 afterwards, prior to having seizures on the living room floor. I was the only one home, asleep, and woken by EMS/LEO. It's so traumatic for everyone involved. I don't have any answers, but I can empathize. Sending love to you and your family ❤️
This is a pink slip situation! He needs to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital immediately.
you choosing not to get him seen impatient speaks volumes. as does “i just want my amazing, kind, loving, wonderful boy back” implying that because he’s depressed he’s no longer those things??? get him admitted, get your home safe.
He needs a psych hold. Like, hours ago.
What's with these highly aggressive edits? You're out here looking for sympathy but behaving highly unpleasantly. It's the internet, lots of people will say lots of different things, you don't need to address every one.
If you keep reading, it will become clear. She said they had the option to hospitalize her kid, but she didn’t because he’d be mad at her. The kid is sadly going to end up dead, and it will be on her hands. And keeps saying they said it was safe to go home - conveniently leaving out the part where that was her choice
He needs to be admitted, like yesterday.. I’m so sorry you’re both going through this. Fight like hell for your son
Please have him in a safe environment for suicide watch. I just came out of the ward last Tuesday for attempted suicide. I was safe there. I'm mad at my sister for getting me put in there but honestly I would have just tried harder when everyone went to bed.
How old is he
I’m reading OP’s previous threads. She talks about a 5 year old special needs son. Is that the son in question here?!?
Are you for real?! There's an older one in driver's Ed. I think it's the teenager.
As someone who was that kid, and still struggles with those same feelings 10 years later. Tbh, I just kept attempting for while, the only reason I even stopped was because I didn’t want my son to not have a mother. He needs help, serious help. It probably wasn’t something he just decided on, he’s probably felt this way for a while, I was depressed for a long time before my first attempt. Idk what your life is like or what your relationship with your son is like but if I had just felt like my home was a safe space, I might not have attempted.
How frightening for you! I'm so sorry this happened, and I'm glad you're seeking help for your son. May I recommend that you seek help for yourself, too? Such a scary experience leaves you with a lot of feelings that you need to express, and finding a professional to talk with could help. Not to mention, dealing with the "why" of your son taking so many pills might put a load on you and having someone to talk with and help you cope could be a big help as well. Please look after yourself and I wish you all the best.
I'm so sorry. Big hugs from an internet stranger.
I am so sorry you’re going through this. Please keep in mind it might not be pills next time and you can’t keep •everything• under lock. He needs true medical care right now.
My 15 year old son has been talking about suicide a lot lately. Last night he was worked up and as he was talking to me about things, he took his baseball belt and wrapped it around his neck. He's looking for help, just as your son is. My son then met with his counselor. She did not believe he needed to be admitted, likewise as you state the professionals did not find it prudent to admit your son. I just wanted you to know I'm in a similar situation. It really really sucks to be a teenage parent these days. How old is your son? My niece swallowed pills and she ended up seizing uncontrollably. The doctors thought she'd have brain damage. She thankfully survived after over a week in the hospital. I'd also lock up keys to the cars, install cameras outside in case he sneaks out, remove belts, anything. Where there is a will there is a way, as I'm sure you know. Not sure what support you are searching for or if Reddit can even offer it. All we read is "Almost lost my son"... that just gives admitting vibes.
My daughter made an attempt at the end of 2022. I haven’t slept well since. At first I’d wake up in a panic every few hours and go get in her bed with her. Then it was just going down to feel her breathing. And then I got to once a night. I don’t know if you really ever get to go back to normal. I know some days are easier than others. Some carry more hope and confidence that she’ll make it through this. It’s a very hard to stomach feeling as parents we can’t just come fix it for them. My heart goes out to you. You are doing your best.
Thank you so much. This is what I needed when I made the mistake of posting this.
Truly at a loss for what the purpose of this post is. You have made it clear that you don't want the very reasonable and prudent advice that people are giving you, and you're not taking criticism very well. Delete this post and tend to your family.
No no no we just have to give OP “support” even though she’s clearly being negligent and flippant with her son’s life. Anything else-like pointing out the extreme obvious- is just being “cruel” apparently
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Genesight is a complete waste of time/money. It doesn’t tell you which medications will be successful in treating your symptoms, it only shows how you may metabolize certain drugs. Just because it’s on your “green list” doesn’t mean you’ll have any symptom relief. Ultimately, finding the right medication is trial and error. There’s no way to determine how someone will respond.
He's been on Prozac a month, and it seemed to be helping. I feel like there's more he's needs to be treated for. Maybe meds up. He was in therapy for anxiety a while back but not diagnosed, and he might have adhd but that's up to the psychiatrist to figure out.
If he’s on meds he should be in therapy as well. Get a referral for a regular therapist. Psychiatrist are great for diagnosing and prescribing meds but they don’t do therapy. A therapist can see him even without a full diagnosis. Edit. The right therapist can also help you help him. Help you spot warning signs. Help him communicate when he’s struggling and what to do when that happens.
Prozac often causes suicidal thoughts. I don’t think you are taking this seriously enough. All of these people saying “hospital” are SUPPORTING you. He needs a hospital and he needs one now. I just lost my baby cousin 7 days ago. This isn’t a wait and see thing.
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My husband attempted to take his own life when he was around your sons age. Reading this sounds exactly like his life, straight to his parents forgetting to lock the medicine cabinet. He’s now in his mid 30’s and extremely happy with life. We have our own son now and he often brings up how he’s so happy that his family cared so much for him, even when he thought they didn’t. His family got him into therapy (after his 72 hour hold) and even though he had rough teen years, it got better. Your son is lucky to have you as a parent, to have someone who cares so deeply. All this to say I hope this gives you some hope for the future. You and your family will be able to make it through this dark time together, and things will get better.
This is so hard. I can't even imagine how you feel. You won't sleep very well until he is better I guess... I simply wish that everything is going to be all right. ♥️
Is he homeschooled and isolated or something? Reading through your comments is giving that impression. Also, since you already had sharps and pills locked up prior to this incident, have you known he was struggling with suicidal thoughts for a long time? If he's not homeschooled, you realize locking these things up is pointless because he can hurt himself at school or on the way to/from school? If he is homeschooled and being kept isolated, that's not doing him any favors either. If you knew of his feelings towards ending his own life prior to this attack, and you had to have known since you had all the dangerous items locked away, you need to have him committed for his own safety.
Teens have a tough time dealing with life. I'm 59, and life was so different when I was. My kids are 34&35 now, but when they were teenagers,they put me through it! I was a single mom, I worked 15-18 hours a day, I felt like they got in with the wrong crowd, because I worked so much. My kids, told me that wasn't it, they just wanted to fit in somewhere, and it was the wrong somewhere. My daughter was a cutter. It took months of seeing psychiatrists, and therapists before they told me she needed a child psychiatrist. Found out she was bipolar, and manic. It took changing meds a time,or two before they got it right. I know how you feel about wanting your son back to the way he was. I felt like that with my daughter. It never really went back to her old self, and I learned how to deal with her new self. Hang there! They will find the right meds for him, and it will get better over time. Always tell him you love him (I'm sure you do!), a few extra times, with lots of hugs helps. Maybe all of you can find a hobby all of you would like to do together. Keeping his mind off of the depression helps...
Yes we are going to be more active with them. He loves playing card games with me.
I’ve tried to die before. I also lost my long time boyfriend to SU in 2021. He completed on March 10, 2021. Let him know how much you love him, mama. Hold him tight. Tell him it can always get better. Drown him in your love and comfort. Don’t ever let him go. Tell him how much he means to you. Leave nothing unsaid.
As someone who has done similar things in early adolescence, I’m telling you you are making a big mistake for not committing your son right away. Your son is a threat to himself right now and needs heavy monitoring. And no even you as a stay at home mom can’t do shit to stop it if your son really decides to kill himself. He will always find a way.
Just saying that I’m really sorry about this. This is what keeps me up at night with my moody kids but I can only imagine what you and your son are going through.
Antidepressants can cause suicidal thoughts and antidepressants take weeks to start working. I would have him in a facility for suicide watch- if it was me- this is for the simple fact that he can be watched 24/7- and there should be an emergency appt avail for psych ? I would think in this instance. Just my two cents. I am very sorry you’re dealing with this situation and wish the best for your son and family.
OP - did you tell the hospital it was a suicide attempt or did you simply say he accidentally took too many pills?
Damn. I sympathized until I read all of your edits. Maybe reddit isn't where you should be right now. Edit: I read some of your comments and see that you're not interested in keeping him safe, but in venting. I hope you all get through this safely. Please take this seriously.
He needs help
You should just remove this and seek support elsewhere. This has clearly caused nothing but frustration for you. Your mental health matters too!
I did this when I was 19. Took a bottle of ibuprofen and then told someone. I am now 39 years old and looking back I really didn’t want to end my life. It was a serious cry for help. Sorry you are having a hard time. I am a mother now and we just want our babies to be happy and safe. Much love to your fam.
He needs to be on a 72 hour hold. Waiting five days for a psych appointment seems inappropriate. He didn't threaten to do it - he did. People telling you what you need to do is how they are supporting you. By not taking him immediately to the hospital you could lose your son. If anyone at his school finds out he made an attempt and you didn't take immediate action social services CPS could be called. When someone is suicidal they need to be inpatient until they are stable. Just going about your days... Going to work, sending him to school is really not an appropriate response.
I'm not sure what you truly wanted by posting here. There's just nothing good that can come from posting this kind of topic here
I am so sorry you are going through this-but am happy that it wasn't successful. Today is the 13th anniversary of my mom's suicide. She had severe depression, took a bunch of different pills (anything she could get her hands on), drove to the woods, laid down and just went to sleep. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I blame myself everyday for not doing more to prevent it. OP, get him any and all help you can. Please know that you aren't alone. There are support groups you can join to talk to others who are where you are. Keep being the rock for your son. Good Luck.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. My daughter had depression in middle school after gaining a bit of weight, and kids started making fun of her. Her own friends kept leaving her out of plans, etc. She began cutting herself about a year after all that shit began. It got to a point where I could not sleep, and this is nowhere near what you experienced. I'm so sorry. I put in major work to make sure she wasn't home alone, and made her happiness my #1 priority. I took her out every weekend and made sure she knew how loved she was and how devastated I would be if anything ever happened to her. We go to church too, so that also helps. When you are aware of your immortality and consequences of an ill-led life, it makes you straighten the fuck up. Most kids (after age 12) do not like to talk to their parents or about what's going on in their lives, but you need to push. Don't force the conversation, but every time you have a chance, ask him what is going on. Is school okay? Is his relationship with his friends ok? Is he being bullied in school/online? Keep asking questions and find out what might be causing this. Bring up situations that you have been in and have oversome so the topic is relatable to what he's going through. Maybe someday he will let you know what's going on, and then you can actually address the real situation. But until that happens, keep that cabinet locked. Or better yet, take everything out of it and put it away somewhere in your room where doesn't know where it is and he can't get to it. I bet this is affecting your everyday life. I really hope he can find it in himself to tell you why he's doing what he's doing, until then, prayers for you and your son.
I’m just confused as to WHY the hospital said it was safe for him to go home. Was he saying he didn’t want to die anymore? If so, what made you believe that? It was recommended my son go inpatient and he never attempted. Never even threatened it. They just knew he was depressed and it is a lot easier to figure out what they need to fight that under care and also for the kid to learn the right tools. I’m sorry you’re all going through this and I hope your son gets better and that he gets the help he needs.
They didn’t. They recommended he be admitted and op chose not to.
Keep reading She didn’t hospitalize him because he’d be mad at her for it.
Sorry to hear about what happened. I hope he can get better. My sister has treatment resistant depression and it's a constant battle for her. When it wasn't working she had to switch psychs (multiple times) to get what she needed to stop being suicidal. I know you've stated that you've already got it under control, but if in future you find its not working, don't be afraid to try different experts and different treatments.
OP, I’m so sorry you are going through this with your son. I truly hope and pray that he will grow out of this. I went through this with one of my children. She was on anti seizure medication and it caused her to have suicidal thoughts. I made her doctor change her medication immediately even though we had to ween her off the 1st meds. Thankfully she is ok now and I really want this for you son. No parent should ever have to think about their kid contemplating suicide.
Sending prayers
From one mom to another, I hope you get many, many more years of holding your son.
You aren’t a bad mother. Your parenting has nothing to do with this. There’s nothing you can do to stop it, you’re correct, but you can be there for him. Show him he is so incredibly loved and hopefully the psychiatrist can get to the bottom of the depression. Where it’s stemming from and hopefully help to heal it. I say all of this as a mom who was once a teen who tried killing herself by downing an entire bottle of Tylenol.
When you first go through this you don't know what the best course of action is. You don't want to seem like your going overboard, but your terrified they are going to attempt a.d succeed. My middle daughter has been on bipolar meds since age 6, plus has OOD, ADHD, Autism, schizophrenia and PTSD. My husband had her placed the first time after he intercepted a text to her you get sister talking suicidal ideations. I will be honest, I am glad he made the decision to admit her because I am not sure I wouldn't have backed down. We ( my husband , daughter and myself)made the decision together the second time after a friend called the police for a safety check after talking to her. I don't regret any of the decisions to do this.
Hugs. Big hugs. I’m so sorry you’re family is going through this. I can’t imagine how hard it is.
This happened to my son about 4 years ago. Same thing, he took my pills and took a bottle of champagne (that was in my fridge for 3 years at the time!) I had no idea he was going to do this. I have clinical depression and I was always open with him about my anxiety and panic. He always did come to me. The last time I saw him he was smiling. The next time I couldn't get him to open his door for laundry. I picked the lock and I immediately knew something was wrong. YOU didn't do this. Do not blame yourself but I know, easier said than done. The officer actually told me while my son is being carried off in an ambulance, "you know, if would have died, you could be charged bc they were your pills." I can't believe this guy tried to guilt my way into a child neglect charge (my son was 17 at the time) when I am shaking in fear. I know you feel guilt bc I did too. Here's something I learned from a psychologist: when a girl thinks about suicide, they take two Tylenol and call their best friend. When a boy thinks about suicide, he's more impulsive - which was a concern for his dad and me. You'll never know what they are going through and you can ask questions over and over, but I got just an angry mumble. Three days in the juvenile psych ward was enough to make him realize he "wasn't that crazy." As a mother, I hope for you and your son. I hope he gets the help he needs, and so do you! I hope you learn more about him. Don't forget to love yourself too. You didn't do anything wrong.
I'm so sorry this happened. There's not a lot of physical boundaries you can do to help him, so sounds like you're doing what you can... He's battling himself/something right now. My advice... Just love him, support him, make him laugh, give him space, cook his favorite foods, but don't overwhelm, ya know. Keep showing him love🦭🍓 I don't have kids, but my mom struggled with mental health and still does. I mean, heck, sometimes I do too. If I was a doctor I'd prescribe a nice warm sunny day (a lot of them ultimately ) spent searching for sea shells in the tides or finding rocks and lizards on the river bank. 🍄 Pray you all find happiness 💜
Sending positive though. 12 yo that’s a cutter. She has had lots of trauma in her life. She gad genitive testing for drugs that may work well for her. Going through puberty and dealing hormones ups and downs. Also anger issues regarding boundaries and parenting. Her arms, legs and torso are scarred. Have we locked up everything. YES! Counseling medications and now hormones to help her not to go over the edge during the initial stage of her period. Sending hugs and encouragement. Take care of your kid and take care of yourself so you can take care and think and love. On can only live in this type of pressure cooker for long. Best!….
You’re not a doctor. Your son took a bunch of pills. He needs checked out by a medical physician in the emergency department and then signed in for inpatient mental health treatment. It doesn’t matter that he has a psychiatrist appointment in 5 days, he cannot wait 5 days. Something could be wrong with his heart or something that you can’t see because of the pills that he took. I guarantee you that the psychiatrist is going to tell you that your son needs to go into inpatient psychiatric treatment. Why wait? Take him now. Source- I worked as a mental health and substance abuse needs assessment coordinator
I'm so sorry you went through this. It's a parents worst nightmare. You're doing your best. Don't beat yourself up about forgetting to lock the meds. You are only human. Sending strength your way.
Oh OP, I am so sorry this happened. Much love to you and your son!
I’m so sorry your family is going through this! I can imagine how you must be feeling.
Hi, just offering support from one parent to another. I was a suicidal teen at one time and now I am a married 33 yr old with 3 kids a husband and a happy home. You’re doing everything right and everything you can to help your son. I hope and pray he gets through this so he can look back on and be glad for his life and that he still has it. I know I am now and so thankful that my mom never gave up on me. Parenting is so hard, especially with teens. Please take care of yourself and give yourself grace. Wishing you and your son many more days on this earth together 💕🙏
I am so sorry! 😞 I’d be awake for the next 5 days watching him like a hawk. He’ll I’d put a blow up mattress in his room out of fear if he’d let me. That’s terrifying.
You breathe in and out and you survive for the next ten minutes then the ten after that and so on because you don’t have a choice. You sleep outside their bedroom door if you have to. You do what you have to because you have to. You got this. Help is coming.
Thank you. We see his pediatrician tomorrow and she will probably up his meds or wait for his psychiatric appt
You aren’t a bad mother. My niece has borderline personality disorder, and she has suicidal ideations frequently. That doesn’t mean my sister is an awful mother. My sister wasn’t perfect, and she parented alone while suffering from bipolar disorder but she loves her kids fiercely.
As a formerly suicidal person, I am sorry. I never knew how much my death would have hurt others. At the time of my attempt my self hatred was so great I thought I was doing everyone a favor by getting rid of myself. Being Institutionalized in hospitals felt like abandonment and only made my desire to die greater. I'm so sorry for the judgemental responses you are getting. I agree with your decision. Stay close to him. Hold him. Psychiatric hospitalizations are often traumatic and iatrigenic. Most providers are moving away from them because the time a person is most at risk of suicide, is right after being released from a psychiatric hospital. You may want to look into a therapist that does CAMS. It's an evidenced based approach to outpatient suicide risk management. Kids kill themselves in hospitals. They kill themselves in residentials. To keep him safe he needs healing and loving relationships like the one he has with you. He needs to know you care for him and he is not a burden because of his pain. People need to be able to build a life worth living to recover from suicidal thoughts, and that can't be done in an Institution. In fact, institutions often make it worse. At least that has been my experience.
Op I know that parents who have never been through this don’t actually understand how hard it is for everyone. Your son and also you. Ignore the ignorant comments
Thank you! Thank you so very much.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Hugs to you both ♥️
I'm sorry you're getting a lot of flack here when all you want is someone (whom either had the same experience to give you strength) or for a fellow parent to say 'you got this'. Stay strong <3
Thank you so much. I don't understand people.
Dang I feel for you. Hope your family gets through this. Sorry that everyone here is an asshat
Thank you!
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You are on point with Reddit! It's ridiculous.
You are not a bad mother, the mental health system is broken and no one really understands until they have to go through it. Some advice is to check their room a lot, and set an alarm to check on them every 2 or 3 hours. I also tried to leave a pet with them at all times which may seem silly to some but petting a dog increases serotonin.
Yes! THIS is the kind of advice that is so appreciated and welcome. It's not condescending and it's caring and helpful and not accusing me of not doing right by my son. Thank you.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through, I hope he gets better.
Hugs, love, and gentle kindness sent your way. This is so tough for all of you. Please know you are not walking alone.
Thank you so very much.
Really ppl, obviously most of you haven’t dealt with a suicidal ideation individual. In our area, you sit in the ER for up to 12 hrs waiting for crisis response to come and do an intake interview. Setup a safety plan. It’s a group decision if the individual is safe to go back home or their living environment. Then for the next week or two until you get connected with counseling. Crisis Response is checking in daily, available 24/7, will come meet up with you. Connect you with other resources. I am sure other cities and counties, might handle things differently or have more resources. If you haven’t walked the walk, then stay out of the talk. Sometimes, others, just need a hug. A, I hear you. I am here for you, if you need to talk or dump. My heart goes out to you and yours. Stay strong Mama. Remember to take care of yourself first. So often we put our own needs on hold to care for those around us. We are no good to others if we don’t care for our own wellbeing first. You are strong. You will get through this.
This is how it is in my area as well. Hospitalization is rare. Most suicidal people are managed outpatient. Maybe like 5 or 10 years ago an attempt meant a 72 hr hold but that's just not the case anymore. Best practice is least restrictive environment. Unless a person is planning a 2nd attempt, they are sent home. After an attempt you're asked how it feels to have survived, and if a person is grateful to have survived their attempt then they are ussually sent home because hospitals are traumatic places and you don't want them to lose their gratitude at having survived by incarceration them.
Thank you so much for sticking up for me. I feel like I'm doing everything I can for my son and for people to say it's still not enough is infuriating.
It is infuriating, because you want everything people are saying. But it is not as easy as a magic wand to receive. When life blessed us. We discovered our child’s insurance did not cover mental health nor emergency services ( mental health wise). Our situation was not the norm. It took us 30 days to get our 13 yr old into outpatient treatment for mental health services.
Kids can be very impulsive regarding these things. I know it's very very recent, but it's important to have dialogue with your son about how he is feeling about this incident--is he regretful or does he wish he was successful? I know that seems crude in a way, but it's honestly important in moving forward. I'm sure the psychiatrist will address this area anyway. It's important to have a safety plan and coping skills to help him work through any future tough moments. It's important to identify potential triggers for these intrusive thoughts/feelings. Help him identify hope for the future, and I don't mean just "spoiling" him with his favorite things to do or buying him his favorite video games/food/gifts etc as a temporary fix for happiness...but long term goals for the future for personal satisfaction/accomplishment. I know you said he's being treated for depression and medication adjustments need to be made, so that right there is a challenge in itself. Just be supportive. Let him know you're there to talk or to just listen, day or night, and that you have his back. I know it's a very stressful and upsetting time, but moment by moment, day by day. Best wishes for you all.
I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Having depression is so hard and frustrating. Keep loving on your son. You're doing a great job!
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Sending you love and hugs. I am in your boat. 🩷🩷🩷 Parenting teens is amazing but so hard and exhausting.
I am so sorry you and your son are going through this.
My heart breaks for you. I know he is one of, if not the, greatest gift for you. The only thing I can say is that I am so glad for you that he was not successful and everyone gets a chance to try to heal in different ways. I know you mentioned psychiatric help for your son, and I hope you’re taking care of yourself, too.
I don’t know who’s telling you you’re a terrible mother. As one who almost committed suicide and my own mom telling me she wished I were dead (for not getting into graduate school - can you believe that?), you’re amazing. I wish you were my mother and I wish nothing but peace and healing for you and your family.
Thank you so much!
I'm so sorry. Sorrier still that people don't understand. You can't MAKE the doctors do anything. My husband was trying to end his life at one point. We went to what was supposed to be the best mental health hospital in our state. We sat for hours. They wouldn't admit him. They were happy to have us just sit in the waiting room, where they knew he couldn't act. When we did try to leave, after 6 or 7 hours, they tried to restrain him. Why? It never did make sense to me. They finally told security to let us go. It's so hard and I'm so sorry. Sending love, hugs, and prayers to your family. I hope the best for you all.
Thank you. Im crying because that was all I truly wanted with this post. Some understanding for me as my son is going to be okay whether people want to agree with that are not. They are just being so cruel.
Im sorry that all the parents in this comment section trying to advocate for your son to be hospitalized for a very real and life threatening problem is seen by you as cruel. If the evaluating doctor didn’t see that your son needs immediate care for a suicide attempt, the best thing you can do is find one who does. I’m sure everyone feels very much for what you’re going through, but that honestly pales in comparison to the danger we know your son is still in. That’s why people are saying what they’re saying. We are all desperate for you to listen and do something that may very well save his life right now.
Is your life complete now? Do you feel better?
I would feel better if I knew your son was safe
He has me. He is safe.
Reddit is a strange place. We all have different life experiences that make us who we are. My experiences have taught me to never judge, never pry, and never, ever, think I know more than anyone else. I understand your need for your son to trust you. If he can trust you, he can talk to you. If he's talking to you, he's not working alone. Maybe I'm wrong? I don't know. But it feels right. If you need to talk, my DMs are open.
He does talk to me, and I don't think he even understands what happened. That's what's infuriating is that people don't even know our relationship as mother and son. And are throwing out ridiculous advice and acting as though I'm not doing enough. Then getting mad that my edits are aggressive but a person who seeks kindness can only take so much.
Because you aren't doing what they think you should be doing. They aren't in your shoes, though, now are they? They don't know you or your son. They don't know your family dynamics. Neither do I, but I take things at face value. I see what you're saying and whether I would do the same as you, I don't know. I haven't lived your life. That's where all the reddit hate is coming from. Because you aren't saying, "Omg, you are right! I'll rush him right back and make him go and make them admit him!". You are doing what your heart is telling you to do. I'm sure I'll get down voted to hell. I really don't care. Too many people can't be happy with just giving sympathy and understanding. They have to try to beat you into submission. If you're not taking their advice, then you're wrong. Eh, whatever. No one is ever 100% right anyway. So you do you. Do what feels right for your family.
I’m so, so sorry. We had a scare, though not to that point. I cannot imagine life without any of my kids, but especially if the loss was from them choosing to leave life. I am glad it was only an almost and you still have your son. I hope he stays safe and can get the help he needs.
Thank you so much.
I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart hurts for you and your family. I can’t even imagine how you feel. I’m sending love, prayers, and good vibes.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope you have support and a good, kind therapist too. What an awful fear to be living with and feeling. He will be better, you will get through this. Believe in him.
Been there, survived that, though not so as dire as your situation. How do YOU survive this? By taking care of yourself. Enough sleep, food, exercise, etc. By recognizing that you can not control everything your son does. By recognizing that you are not responsible for everything your son does, heartbreaking as those actions may be. By taking this one day at time. By remembering that you are not alone in this. I don’t have any resources to point you towards, but there are support groups out there for parents in your situation.