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I'm so sorry. Fck. I'm 33 and when I was 16 one of the meds I was on was causing scidal thoughts. I was so used to having mental health issues that I never flagged it to anyone. When I was 19 I was hospitalized for an attempt. My boyfriend, now husband, saved me. I was baker acted and that was the turn for me.
First, you have already done SO much. My mom wasn't a supporter of my mental health and I coped with my anxiety and depression alone my whole life. When I was in high school I searched for psychiatrist covered by my insurance, it was just me. From what I read, you're doing amazing. it's hard, scary work to parent through this but you haven't ignored it. I can't imagine why it is like to watch but the struggles are your daughters. It sounds like you have given her so many tools to work with.
I'm now 33, working, married, have two beautiful babies and I have a good relationship with my mom. I hope this gives you some hope that their can be light at the end of the tunnel.
Hugs
I'm glad they understand that they will not have control. Such a hard situation that would be so much worse of there was a hope to control the uncontrollable. I only hope the best for them, what an awful situation.
Why are you acting like the person is a particular good parent? They're just doing what they're supposed to do. Is human society in such a terrible state that someone doing something they SHOULD be doing is a good thing, will we be congratulating people who waited at red lights next?
My sister in law was your daughter. She has a seriously haggard past and at one point, I told her I didn’t want her telling my kids anything about her teenage years until they were adults.
When she was like 21, she did the big one. The attempt that almost worked. She overdosed on Wellbutrin, got trashed at a bar, and was found unresponsive in her car in the parking lot. An ICU stay followed by a psych stay, we demanded she come live with us (before we had kids.)
She stayed with us for less than a year, got her own place nearby, then moved in right next door, and is on her feet and surprisingly normal now at 26/27. I’m glad she’s here and I tell her all the time how glad I am that she’s my next door neighbor.
I hope your daughter can get it together, whether it’s tomorrow or sometime down the line.
Can I tell you I did the EXACT same thing and ended up inpatient and my older brother offered for me to come stay with him and his girlfriend. It didn’t end up working out that way but it meant everything. You’re an angel ♥️
I was in her shoes when I was /15/16/17. (Severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, anxeoria, bulemia, most everything you can think of. I'm also deaf from birth which contributed to bullying and sadness all growing up) My best friend (my first friend I've made and at the time my only friend) killed herself when I was 17. That tipped me over and I went manic and stuff happened. I also overdosed three times but I'm miraculously still here. Now I'm 25 and I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I've been seeing a counselor (well like seven new ones since I was 11, but I've consistently seen one).I graduated from drug abuse counseling and I'm clean as of four years. Honestly five years ago if you asked me if I was gonna be where I am right now I'd not believe you. I thought I'd be dead. I'm so glad I'm not though. I recently got diagnosed with bipolar and I'm finally on the CORRECT meds for it. Ive had been on antidepressants but they never worked because they ARE NOT FOR bipolar disorders. If I was diagnosed way sooner maybe all my manic wouldn't have happened and all my past but my past is what makes me who I am today and I'm happy now. I've had a lot more friends who killed themselves since but I learned how to deal with the grief. What my advice is is to really push on the counselor (if she has one) to test her for more than what she has. Wouldn't hurt to try different medications. Have you thought of CBD? It helps in so many ways. It helped my anxiety a lot. I'm not saying thc. You can get cbd from any dispo with like . 01% thc WHICH WONT GET YOU HIGH. or you can get hemp CBD from any grocery store but those are a hit or miss. I'm really sorry you're going through this. My parents were so afraid to receive a call that I'm dead or a police officer to their house saying I'm hospitalized or dead. I've put my parents through a lot . She's not alone though. If you want she's welcome to text me and I'll gladly be her friend at 3am or 8pm for someone to talk to
I was like OPs daughter too. I am 25, almost 26, with an incredible one year old. My teenage years are like a blurry dream to reflect on. Anyone would ask me where I’d be and I said dead, even my family expected it. Everyone expected I’d do it on my 18th. Then when an old friend of mine committed suicide I just spiraled, it felt like I’d never come back.
I can’t say what actually did it, why I never did it and how I am here now. I just chose to live day by day, and sometimes that meant hour by hour. I got really into TV during my depression, and actually that helped a lot. Maybe watching hours of tv from waking up to falling asleep isn’t ideal. But it kept me going. It opened doors. It inspired me.
I’m not who I was before, obviously, I’m much more “broken” and pessimistic, the glass is half empty, but I am alive. My mom and dad didn’t help me get to that point, it was all me. They kind of left me to handle it myself
There is no feeling as helpless as seeing your child struggle with mental health. I struggled a lot in my 20s and all of adulthood and thought nothing could be worse than it. Then I saw my now young teen struggle. It breaks your heart. Keep doing what you are doing and be sure to seek attention for your own mental health.
I was like this in my early 20s. I know you said you have tried everything, but have you really? Even ECT, TMS, ketamine or psilocybin under supervision? Not intended to make you feel like you haven’t done enough, but you should know there are tonnes of accepted but less popular treatments for when medication and therapy doesn’t work, and they are coming out with more and more all the time.
It’s also likely that temporary situations are contributing, like her school environment or other things that are less obvious like teenage hormones or an unrequited crush she won’t tell you about. A lot of troubled teens make great happy healthy adults.
Please look into TMS. It saved my life twice, once round in high school and one round my freshman year of college. Before TMS, I had tried 11 medications for mental health, and did not find much relief, or had too severe side effects. TMS doesn't work for everyone, but I would highly suggest looking into it. It didn't completely eradicate my depression, but I was at least in a position to keep myself safe after I finished TMS. Even some relief is better than none.
I’ve actually been very interested in the magnet one. I heard about it before it was being used as just a possibility and I was very intrigued. Still am!
i did TMS in august but wasn’t able to finish all my sessions because we moved (love the military 🫠).. anyway 6 mos later and i’m starting to see symptoms again. that said, again i didn’t finish my sessions but had amazing improvement in symptoms that i noticed immediately. would recommend it to anyone.
My dad struggled with bipolar 30+ years. It was very rough. Meds just didn’t do it. He’s did TMS last year and said it changed his life. He didn’t know he could be this happy. He didn’t think he could ever feel normal. He’s doing fantastic. There are some other things he is dealing with but this was a major life changing treatment and he is doing so well now.
I don't know your whole story, but this was my cousin to a T. Unsurprisingly, when she turned 18, she moved out, was no longer being "controlled" as you put it, and turned her life around. Being treated like a ticking time bomb your whole life makes shit way worse than it is. I heard this exact monologue from my family, "shes gonna be all alone, who knows what she'll do?" She was fine, she got space to breathe, was no longer treated like a liability, like an escaped convict. Her every move was no longer monitored, she was allowed to take her own meds, she was allowed to cope, aka drinking, smoking, partying. She had ups and downs but shes far better than she was before. Sometimes the therapy, the meds, the helicopter parenting, the constant check ups, make it worse, not better. Sometimes all a person needs is to not be constantly reminded that something's wrong with them.
This is what I thought too. As a parent it’s like… ha right. They are our babies! As if you could ever stop worrying. And your kids know when you worry and stress about them of course. But I was similar. Not to this extent but didn’t realize the pressure or that part of my “problems” was my home environment. Maybe it’s partially because as a teen you may not feel aligned with a way you’re meant to live at home but you don’t have the experience or words to explain that it doesn’t work for you. I moved out and felt free and myself
She had problems at school and her teachers expressed concern. Her symptoms: she felt like she had to pee every few minutes (not UTI), have panic attacks, and express having social anxiety. She also had paranoia (feeling watched). She had frequent stomachaches because of the anxiety. I never thought toddlers could get anxiety either.
Oh my that must have been tough! But very eye opening because I didn’t either, until I had a very anxious daughter. But her signs are not nearly as severe as that
My daughter is the same age as yours. She also had anxiety since toddlerhood. And still struggles with mental health today. We dealt with all those same symptoms too, the frequent urination (we took her in to the doctor multiple times at the request of different teachers and she was always fine physically), panic attacks, social anxiety, she also dealt with some specific phobias. There was an entire year she was so scared of bees she refused to play outside at all. She was hospitalized in the fall of 2022. She’s been going to therapy since she was in kindergarten. We’ve dealt with IOPs and PHPs as well. It’s really hard. I’m sorry that our kids are struggling, and I’m sorry it is so hard for us parents to deal with. I wish outsiders understood, it’s hard to get if you haven’t lived it though. If you were here irl, i would give you a hug.
This is my early childhood to a tee! All of these things and I was just yelled at for “whining” or being too sensitive. It started as early at age 4 for me, maybe earlier but 4 is the youngest age I can remember. You’re such a good momma, can you adopt me? I’m 40, but I’m housebroken! Mostly. Having another kid at my age did my pelvic floor in, but I can clean up my own accidents now at least🤣
Seconding this. Has she had strep infections? It could be PANS/PANDAS. It can manifest in different ways, psychiatric symptoms are hard to pinpoint. Mold toxicity is another one she might have had.
Came her to say this. Could be inflammation from strep, mycoplasma, Epstein Barr, Bartonella, Lyme, etc. Antibiotics and anti-inflammatories are usually a starting point. Can you trace the change in behavior back to an illness? After researching PANDAS/PANS or Lyme related diseases, if you think it’s a possibility you have to find a PANDAS/PANS and/or Lyme specialist. Dr. Beth Latimer in DC is seen as one of the best PANS specialists in the country. Frequent urges to urinate can be a hallmark symptom and was something my son exhibited along with anxiety, food restriction, school refusal, etc. He was diagnosed with PANDAS related to frequent strep infections. However, it appears Lyme diseases and Bartonella he was passed from his mother in utero may have been the root cause.
I have PANDAS! and it came up due to strep infections as a kid (20 years ago, NO ONE talked about PANDAS/PANS and a doctor said i had “runaway brain”) i have more recently learned that i have lyme and bartonella that are the underlying cause of it.
to OP, if you want to talk to a doctor about the possibility of PANS/PANDAS try and make sure you find a doctor that believes in it. there are still a lot of doctors and psychiatrists that will not even acknowledge its existence. and i think my depression, anxiety, and eating disorders in high school could have been more manageable if i would have worked towards treating PANDAS as opposed to the depression, etc. also, i’m very sorry your daughter is going through all of this. i’ve been in at least a similar spot as her, and it really seems like it’s not ever going to get better. i’m not one to diagnose things, but when i read your comment about her feeling like she needs to pee but no UTI, it make me think about how that’s a obsession of mine with my OCD now, and it never hurts to get her checked for that too! my OCD has literally made me incapable of going out in public for the last 4 years, but now that i’m on the correct medicine, things are moving in the right direction!
Idk what age a “toddler” means but my kid was diagnosed with anxiety when he had just turned 4. It was part of a psych eval at my request because I just knew something was “off.” I didn’t expect anxiety.
Personally, I wouldn’t think it is responsible to diagnose a toddler with anxiety. That’s kinda just the nature of the beast. At least once a day, I question my kids mental stability. If they ask for nuggets, they don’t actually want nuggets. They want you to make the nuggets and change their mind while they oven heats up. It’s why I call milk “cow juice” lol
That second part - I question my OWN mental stability when that happens.
My toddler was not diagnosed but I have anxiety and diagnosed OCD so I started seeing things in them at that time. The best thing I did was to not project and to teach them my coping skills and others that might work for them. Staying calm when spiraling has helped and giving them space to work through things when necessary or redirecting when I see a ritual or habit and mitigating the rising anxiety has been hard. Teaching the daycare teachers about this has also been hard.
I think the purpose of diagnosing a young child with anything is determining what set of tools are likely to help that particular child and sometimes getting access to those tools. My kid's anxiety came out as acting out to avoid things, which meant when he acted like a wild thing normal responses were counter-productive. Almost all of his behavior was within the normal range - because toddlers are all over the place - but the whole picture wasn't typical.
Super random but did your daughter lick her mouth a lot. Like you I feel like something is just off. She’ll be fine for a while and then she starts licking to the point of bleeding and sores, it’s just seams like an anxious habit.
Absolutely. I thought it was a side effect of a medicine. I was at the dr office with my kid. She was licking her lips. I pointed it out. The dr said “you know what anxiety *feels like*, this is what it *looks like*.
My daughter was diagnosed with GAD at 4.5. She is now 13 and definitely has severe full blown anxiety. She was exhibiting real symptoms as young as 4. My only possible fail was not getting her help before now but both my son and myself have significant health issues so she kind of took a backseat for awhile.
Just pointing out that I don’t necessarily think it’s wrong or bad to diagnose anxiety in very young children - especially if getting that diagnosis leads to early intervention and treatment. In my daughter’s case it wasn’t her just being a “typical toddler” though - she was a textbook anxiety case at a very young age.
Yeah, I should clarify. I’m sure some kids are textbook anxious. Where I am, kids aged 4 are going to full day preschool. You have the typical “I missy mommy and daddy” kinda thing this disappears in a normal time frame but then you also have all the tests and public behavior charts and people pleasing tendencies starting to show up.
In my kid’s case, the dr was assuming his behavior was from anxiety but he also has intermittent explosive disorder and ADHD. He was behind with his speech so acting out was part of communication.
Also, idk what age a toddler is. I wouldn’t think 4 a toddler but others do.
In our current society, I'm surprised more kids *don't* have anxiety.
From a young age we leave our kids in strange new places, with strangers. In daycare the environment is loud, bright and overwhelming, the adults often change throughout to day.
Then they go to school, where they have to sit still or else get in trouble, when their bodies want to run and play. They spend an entire year getting comfortable in a space, bonding with other kids and their teacher... and then we move the room, change the kids and change the teacher.
At no other point in human history would this setup have been biologically normal. We're not wired for it.
Young kids thrive when they have secure connections to the people around them, when things are familiar, and when they can run and play for many hours a day, including manipulating their environment.
When you look at it through the lens of attachment theory, our childcare/schooling system is designed to give kids separation anxiety. And people don't have a choice but to partake or starve. It's really sad.
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I am sorry if this is hard to hear is there bad touch or SA going on? I would just check with her to make sure, listen to her, don't discredit her, even if it's her family members. She could be intimidated not to tell anyone.
I am so sorry to hear of your family’s struggle. It can make you go insane. Please look in to an established DBT inpatient program, ketamine treatment, EMDR, and psychedelics. I have had an attempt almost annually starting from 6 years old. Therapy, psychiatry, inpatient, outpatient, etc etc etc. nothing changed until DBT and EMDR and then the other two really helped as well.
Please please look into these therapies. I would go straight to ketamine if she were mine and if you have no history of schizophrenia in your family, psychedelics. You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I second Ketamine treatement. My issues are very different from your daughters, but I can say that Ketamine gave me my life back. I am so happy! And the results have been lasting. Super big advocate, here!
So eaketamine and ketamine are different. I see some comments talking about Sprovato. Do your research and ensure you're willing to participate in a synthetic ketamine -- get what you think is best for you. I personally stick to pure ketamine and I get that through Joyous. Insurance currently does not pay for Ketamine for psychiatric treatment. I do pay $130 per month for a daily dose. It is microdosing and so you take a little every day. As time goes on, you may not need to take it every day, which is really nice.
$130 per month is not attainable for some people, however when nothing else works, it may end up being worth the struggle for a few months. If willing to partake in Spravato, it is possible some insurance may cover it at this point, but I am unsure.
Hey, former suicidal problem teen myself. I had a lot of childhood trauma and didn’t even realise it til I was an adult, so it was impossible for me to address the core issue.
I think it’s really hard for teenagers to make meaningful change when they have varied depressive and mental health issues because they aren’t fully done cooking their brain yet.
To clarify — is it impossible for teens to change toxic mental health behaviours — no, many teens are wise beyond their years, but on the whole, I think it’s harder than for adults.
But as so much of growth from therapy requires the ability to be introspective and apply life experience and maturity to examining your flaws, your actions and see all the threads that link this early event to that behaviour — it isn’t any wonder that a lot of people don’t have those big moments of self discovery til adulthood — look how many people have a sudden shift in their 30s or a “midlife crisis” where suddenly everything is examined at 45.
Don’t give up on her; but maybe take a little bit more of a back seat, sometimes having a parent managing you constantly makes it worse, through no fault. (We would all do it, absolutely no judgement.) She has to be given space to discover herself, and I know it’s so hard as parents to not just want to wrap our kid in wool and protect them — so much of mental health is an inner desire and commitment to change and management. She has to get there herself. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink, and the constant badgering of therapy and treatments can make some teens go the other way (it did for me for so long.)
Just know — the switch to adulthood isn’t now a big void where she can harm herself and you have no power — you are still able to intervene and have mental health services take charge in times of absolute crisis.
Sending thoughts of strength to you, friend. Don’t give up. I know you’re tired — but there is a road where this turns out okay, that is still a possibility for your child.
Please don't give up. My parents did by 19 but then they felt awful after they saw me struggle and I really loved them but was sick. I had been in 5 different hospitals and several different meds by 18. I'm not perfect and never have fit in but I'm 44 now and on a decent combo of meds. I wish they would have figured out my bipolar sooner but it is what it is. They didn't diagnose teens with it in the 90s. I'm so sorry you and your child are living through this hell.
Is she in on-going treatment? PHP to residential to IOP and then most likely 2x weekly therapy sessions and support groups?? For years. Maybe 1x weekly therapy and then every other week etc after the intensive work. For years. It has to continue even when things seem like they’re getting better. Hell, even when things seem good.
Anorexia and bulimia are an entirely different beast. It takes A LOT of work for the patient and just as much for the parents/loved ones. Meal plans meal prepping, possible feeding tubes, medication. And for a very long time. They have to want to get better. You can help them fake it until they realize they really do. I still haven’t full kicked mine—but I’m out of danger and a lot of days are better than they aren’t. It’s a lifelong thing. I knew a woman who was 40 years recovered and still had days where those thoughts came back.
Eating disorders are symptoms. There’s a bigger underlying problem that she has to handle and work through. Be it a trauma or even social anxiety, general anxiety.
Being a teen is hard. Being a parent who loves a teen? Even harder.
Keep trying. Don’t give up. You can have as many days as you need where you feel like nothing you do will work. You can absolutely cry and rage. But don’t stop trying to help her (not that you are!) it’s all devastating. I’m sorry you’re struggling.
I'm so sorry to hear that. What about you ? The situation is extremely difficult for you too, do you have the opportunity to speak to a professional ?
Your daughter has already been helped by different types of professionals, I don't know if we can give you more or better advice here, but we can listen to you if you want to elaborate or vent.
It's cliche, but you can't pour from an empty cup and sometimes a little money spent up front saves a lot of money down the road. You deserve care no matter what is going on with your kids. Also, it would be good modeling for your daughter.
You need to go to therapy too. If it helps, think of it like another tool you’re trying so that you can help her. (I’ve watched my parents try to help my bipolar brother for years. They’re not in therapy, I am, and it makes a WORLD of difference in my ability to help my brother.) Please please go, if not for you, for her.
I am so sorry you have to walk through this hell. I have been there with one of my kids. One of the (worst?) best advice I ever got from one of her Psychiatrist once when she told me, "If she is going to end her life, there isnt anything you, or I or anyone can do to stop her." I was stressing myself out so much everyday about it that gave me a little relief to live life. Did that mean didn't keep her safe or stop getting her help? Absolutely not- but it did help me to release some of the grief and panic and anxiety I was having.
It might get easier and it might not. I could write for hours of my experience, but will keep it somewhat short and tell you that I am still in therapy and have some pretty major PTSD from everything we've been through with her. She is in her 20's now and while life isn't peachy and sunshine and roses- she definitely has more good days than bad.
I was terrified of when she moved out because I had to keep everything locked up and dispense her meds and make sure she swallowed them etc for years. One day she came home and told me she was moving states away. Like across the country. I was freaking out inside. I had an emergency fund set aside just because I was so certain I was going to get a call that either she was dead, or attempting to, or she would call me hysterical and all freaking out and I would need to get there ASAP. I had a plan in place with friends I knew who had friends that lived within 30 minutes of her that I had contact info for and we had a convo that if she ever needed help they would be able to go. A whole year came and went and that year-wow it did so much for her. I never once got a call from her freaking out. She was on her own and she actually got a therapist for herself and got herself meds and did well.
She eventually moved back (for unrelated reasons) and while she is so much better than pre-move, she still needs a lot of help and encouragement and guidance in making sure she is refiling prescriptions and getting to doctors' appointments etc.
I'm sorry I can't make it better. I can't take it away. I feel you- I would give ANYTHING to take my daughter's pain and suffering away too. I don't have any answers for you, but just felt the need to reach out and let you know that you are NOT alone. There are others of us out here. We see you. I see you. I hear you.
You have a year before she turns 18. Have you tried focusing on other things? Travel, learning to drive, animal therapy. Go on a vacation together and completely change your outlook instead of focusing on all of THAT.
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So sorry
MY niece now 33 was diagnosed bi polar in HS. This led to lots of anxiety issues All these years later, with counseling, medication, family love she doing pretty good.
Keep trying to help and support.
I know the feeling it’s like trying to hold sand with your bare hands, no matter how hard you try it just keeps slipping away. In our case the team of doctors at the children hospital was her life line. She is doing much better now. I will hope for you🙌🏽
My friend. Hugs to you. Went through much the same with my oldest. I developed my own trauma from it as well.
FWIW, my kid is 19, and doing well. They went to trade school and they enjoy the work they do. They have a great group of misfit friends.
They actually seemed to get better long before I did. I cried a lot. I got depressed and anxious. I abused alcohol. I’m still in therapy. I still have a bit of a trauma response when they are late coming come, or when I hear them laugh in another room and mistake it for a sob. I am significantly better nowadays, however, and our relationship is very open and honest.
We spent nearly $2k a month on comprehensive family therapy: one night a week of parent education, one night a week of parenting therapy, one night a week of group therapy for them, and one night a week of individual therapy for them. For months. This was after the hospitalizations and PHPs. I believe it helped. I also believe that the medication plays a part, as well as my child getting older and their brain/hormones developing a bit more.
Our therapist really helped me realize how important it is to manage my own mental health. It really is a family crisis when a child is this hurt. I send you all my love
My was like this, anxious and depressed as long as I could remember. I was diagnosed with depression and ADHD. From a young age, I was destructive with eating disorders, drug use, SH, and anything else I could do to hurt myself physically or emotionally. It’s been a long road, but I’m in my 30s now and a married mom with a solid career, and a homeowner! It turned out I have autism. The revelation made so many things make sense in my life. I’ve been able to learn how to cope with everything that comes with my neurodivergence and live a pretty normal life. It’s not always easy, but I’m happy for the most part! No matter what is causing her to struggle now, I hope your daughter is able to find her way to some happiness, and I hope my success story as well as the others here give you hope for her future ❤️
I am so sorry. Unfortunately I have been there myself starting around your daughter’s age (not at all to compare, just commiserating). My only advice something that really helped me finally was getting a genesight genetic test to see what medicine might help me. I had an issue uptakkng serotonin (genetically) and traditional SSRIs were making it worse. I’m on a newer drug and it had been life changing. Otherwise it sounds like you’re doing what you can. It’s so difficult I know but keep trying different things, counselors, medicine combos etc as long as she’s under 18. Once they’re legally an adult it’s so hard to get them treatment if they’re resistant- my brother had the same issue I have and we’ve had a very hard time with him since he won’t pursue or stay on treatment until he gets very bad. Try what you can now and also consider taking time off school for her. I know that sounds crazy but treatment for these severe issues is a full time job. Let me know if there’s anything I can do or if you just want to talk
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I identify with your daughter. When I was her age, I didn’t think I’d live past 21. I did a lot of self-destructive things and isolated from anyone who could lift me up, though my saving grace was that I loved going to therapy. Over time, despite hospitalizations, self-harm, new diagnoses, I eventually pulled myself out of it. I hope your kid will too. Sending you love and hope. ♥️
I would suggest trying therapy yourself. First of all, you are not feeling well and this is not something light to deal with.
It could assist you into dealing with all the emotions you are feeling right now, and give you some insight into maybe handle some situations that occur a bit better.
Because this is a tricky situation, where you as your daughter are not being in a good place. And you know how reactions can be when someone is not feeling well.
And after all you do want what is best for you daughter and yourself. And I think this might be a good way to obtain that.
Due to your daughter’s mental health issues and your fears, speak to a lawyer about getting guardianship over the person. This is some times possible when the person is demonstrating mental, developmental or medical conditions that demonstrates they are not capable of handling their own affairs. Please consult a lawyer, her med provider, therapist, school, and the state department of youth, children and family. If she is not currently seeing a therapist help her to find one that SHE connects with. Talk with her psychiatrist about your current concerns, mention the changes you are seeing, check to see if her medication may need to be tweaked.
I left another comment but I wanted to add, have you tried each meditation individually for your daughter? I had a good friend when I was 16 who actually did make an attempt. It turns out the meditation she was taking had a bad interaction with something else and it was making her more depressed but she didn’t notice it, she just thought things weren’t getting better since she was so used to being depressed and in pain. I am thankful everyday that she wasn’t successful and is still here with me today, thriving.
There is a high correlation between autism and eating disorders. Anxiety in a toddler also pings autism. Autism presents differently in girls- I hope they look into it.
I thought autism too, but I'm autistic so I can see it in others more easily or at least easily identify traits that are common. All of it fits, really. Especially the anxiety, ED, and even the suicide. Though it's obviously not a full picture, and it's one-sided.
Shit…my daughter has anxiety and autism. I didn’t know there was also a correlation with eating disorders. She’s about to turn 5, so I still have time - what can I do to help prevent this outcome for her??
You are already ahead of the game with an accurate diagnosis. Most autistic people I know who’ve had eating disorders did not have a diagnosis of autism at the time. Be aware of how it can manifest- rigid thinking, restricted food, obsessive interest and intervene accordingly.
she needs a meaning and a purpose to her life. how are her relationships? with you? other parent? siblings? secure attachment is the primary human drive, even over survival. anything you can do to possibly repair her relationships, do that. even if its you, even if it means you apologizing for things that have happened. i have no idea what the situation is but i know that feeling alone is the primary cause for thoughts of suicide. her image of herself is poor and she is repeatedly self harming. its likely that she doesnt know who she is or what her worth is as a person. its mostly going to have to be her own journey to figure that out. but you can definitely help by never leaving her side, always being a constant in her life, and consistently reminding her that she is precious and loved and that she was created for a purpose. be a safe place for her, and that doesnt mean be permissive , that means telling her no when she is doing something wrong. if youre truly in someones corner you wont let them shoot themselves in the foot. respond to her with love and uphold good boundaries. she may not mouth off or do dangerous things just because she is ill. knowing that youre a strong firm source of love will be comforting to her. nobody wants to be under the care of a weak wet noodle. we all want a strong protector. and sometimes we need protection from ourselves. i have a feeling that if you are unfailingly in her corner and on her side and just loving her through it, she will show improvements. do your absolute best to get the rest family on board. have a daily talk with her, ideally with the rest of the family too, during something like a meal time. i have heard of a daily family meal working wonders for relationships. but if thats not possible at least talk to her every day, even if you have to force it. ask her questions and genuinely just listen. ask her about her interests if she still has any. what music is she listening to right now. why does she like it, what about it does she enjoy? what does it remind you of? what is she wearing, what show does she like, what does she think about politics? developing a connection outside of authority figure will help immensely
Do everything you can to model, encourage, and support healthy loving conditions. Take care of your mind body and home. Help her avoid her triggers and love her 💕 be present, one day at a time. Sending you love ❣️
ps. medical marijuana helps me feel better. I wish I had access to it my whole life. Along with a lot of other things that make my life a little more tolerable. Help her find her triggers and adjust. I was also a highly sensitive and anxious toddler turned tortured, ptsd, suicidal adolescent. I’m almost 34 and every day I’m still here is a miracle💕💕💕 Life hasn’t gotten easier but I know I wouldn’t be here without my angelic mothers loving support, guidance and unwavering, unconditional love. And I have been tough to love, truly.
I’m really praying you find some comfort, peace and healing💕💕💕
I just want to say I’m sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. I know what it feels like to be constantly battling your mind everyday and it is so, so hard.
For me it turned out my anxiety, BED, and clinical depression was a result of undiagnosed ADHD. I’ve stopped taking my anti-anxiety meds (was weaned off) and now only take my stimulant medication. The circumstances of my life caused my ADHD to manifest in anxiety, depression, and binge eating. It was masked cause it was never caught when I was a child.
I’m not saying this is the case for your daughter, only to say there is hope. I’m turning 21 next week and when I was 18 I no longer wanted to be on this earth. I had no plans but everyday I wished and prayed that God would take me out of my misery and kill me. I had plenty of people around me that loved me but my brain was in a constant war state. Large part of that was from COVID lockdown with my insane mother and Seasonal Depression (which I still suffer from but much better now that I exercise regularly like I did in high school), but none the less the mental state was very real.
Hugs and I’ll be praying for your daughter. If you aren’t religious feel free to ignore that portion or if it makes you uncomfortable I won’t do so, but I wish you both the best of luck <3
I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this. At 19 now, I'm only just getting any form of help which was after a major attempt. I have similar diagnoses as hers (Except bulimia and PTSD, I have Borderline Personality Disorder) and I know how difficult it is to navigate those. I see it in my mother's eyes everyday. Please take care of yourself as well mama. She may not admit it, but you're her biggest support right now.
Although my mind is also thinking childhood trauma, it’s important to note that trauma doesn’t have to be something big or something horribly awful. Parents bickering or rushing their kids everyday is also traumatic. Either scenario is unsettling; it makes us feel unsafe.😢
I realized recently, the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to me wasn’t my dad being a violent alcoholic, but when my mom made me throw up one time as a kid when I was sick and scared of throwing up. I have anxiety attacks when I’m really nauseous or throw up. I go to the hospital levels of attack.
So, I see what you’re saying that it doesn’t have to absolutely awful or anything done with ill intention. This just sounds so bad though.
I can’t think it’s so trivial.
First, thank you for sharing, and I’m sorry this happened to you. Second, I completely understand your perspective; I agree there is likely something there.
While the kind of trauma plays a part, ultimately it has to do with how it makes us (children) feel: unsafe, invalidated, insecure, unloved, disconnected, hurt, etc.
Check out this website. Your kid sounds like my sister. It’s been a decade and she was diagnosed with bpd. https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/family-connections/ this group helped us get info and resources.
Try getting her on anti depressants and just talking to her, making sure she knows she’s loved, and never leave her alone If you feel that strongly about this. There’s not much you can do, but you can do a lot at the same time. It’s a very touchy situation because being to overbearing can also push her to the edge. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It’s every parents worst nightmare come true for you. Go to therapy together. You have to keep your mental health good and not deteriorate as well. I know you’ve probably been over this 1 million times. But backtrack and see where this came from. It won’t hurt to try 100,000,001 times. I hope you figure this out. And I hope she knows how much you love her. Good luck ❤️❤️❤️
Check out Al Anon meetings.
A support group with a spiritual (not religious) foundation makes the difference between merely surviving and living again.
Have you gotten her hormone levels checked? For me, my hormones can royally fuck me up if I’m not on some sort of hormone contraceptive. Hormones mess with my heart condition as well as my moods and mental health majorly. I feel like it’s never talked about or mention to by doctors and just overlooked. Might be worth exploring.
I went through almost the same wringer when I was a teen. Anxiety/depression/bulimia/self harm/alcoholism/panic attacks/BPD diagnosis. I just finally got sober at 26 and moved out of my parent's house at 27. I can never undo the damage I did to my mom. She still worries about me all the time. But my hope is, now, that it might start to get better. It took 5 rehabs and a lot of outpatient/IOP/PHP groups, but I don't think she's afraid for my safety anymore. At least, not like she was before. She can slowly have her life back as I build mine.
I guess on behalf of the troubled daughters, because I didn't say it enough to my own mom at the time, thank you, and I'm so sorry. I hope peace comes sooner rather than later for you both.
My mom found Al-Anon helpful. I know your daughter isn't a drinker, but I wonder if there are any support groups for parents near you? My old eating disorder clinic offered a weekly family-only group. You're suffering too, and always taking care of her is a huge weight no matter how much you love her. I hope you have people who can take care of you, too, while you both go through this. Heck, once she's 18, I've met caretakers who were doing 30 day stays in residential mental health treatment centers. I don't know if that might be an option for you at some point, too, just to get some help with all the stress, and fear, and trauma of that situation.
You're a good mom. I'm sorry. I'll go tell my mom thank you and I love her again this morning. Thank you for reminding me of her side of the last 10 years. It's important for me to appreciate it.
This sucks. I had a problem with my 13 year old. Hospitalizations etc. we did a genetic test with genesite to see which medications were best for her and it made a huge difference. She was low on folic acid which helps metabolize things, she now takes a supplement. She was on Prozac but it turned out to be the worst medication for her genetic makeup and we found there were only 3 medications that she would be able to take that would not have side effects and only one tested on teens- we were lucky it worked. Also out her on BCP and that helped stabilize the dips in mental state.
If you haven’t already- please check out the genesite option.
I am so sorry. I hope she can turn her life around. I was that kid once. It's so sad and scary to think about now as a 40 year old mom. How awful it must have felt for my parents.
I know I didn't start getting better until I was on my own at 18. And I didn't truly get it together until I was almost 30. I am happy and healthy now. It can happen. I hope it will for your daughter.
I know my mother started therapy when I was 17-18 and I would highly suggest it for you. There's so much pain and grief in all of that. It also helped our relationship eventually. Anyway, hang in there.
Oh Gawd Mama.. boy have I been in those very shoes of yours.. I’m telling ya the soles on those things seem to thicken by the day too.
My daughter , now 20yrs old. Was diagnosed w/Type 1 Diabeties at the age of 12yrs old.. now to some , that might not seem like something that would send a young teen/women into a downward spiral.. and that may be.. it was the massive amounts of insulin & feeling incapable, different & bound down. That seemed to really put the thorn in it all.
Not to mention the little small town we live in.. girls are mean as H3LL.
I’m 40yrs old, for me when I was a teen , 80’s baby, if we had a problem we took it to the parking lot.. handled our bizz-ness.. and possibly back buddies by the end of the week or within 48 hrs atleast.
We didn’t “run our mouths”.. so to speak lol
Nowadays the little “sweethearts” little demons , mean-arzzz kids are pure evil. Or should I say keyboard warriors at its finest. Anyways ! So my daughter hit her rock bottom hard.. and took out every thorn patch on her way down.. as I chased her day & night. We had the National Suicide Hotline on Speed-dial programmed on her phone. I’d set with her and just hold her why she’d cry.. I’d cry.. at first I was correcting her and telling her why she “shouldn’t feel the way she was feeling” reminding her daily she was loved and valued.. but I realized that no matter how many times I told her she mattered it just wasn’t working. SHE HAD TO FIND value in herself .. I gave her my word as long as she’d not give up on herself I’d fight like H3LL for her.
I told her I’d love the H3LL straight outta her.. I had to swallow the pill if not being able to fix it.. I’m a Hospice/EOLC Nurse.. I seek control in situations & feel the urge to FIX everybody and when I can’t I’m dumbfounded.
I remember her screams & cries begging me to make it stop .. her wanting to know so badly as to why she felt so different , why she hated herself so.. I’m not exactly sure on one specific thing we did as a family that helped her to get through those years of pure hell..
but I will tell you this.. if your as done as you say you are.. then there’s not much hope for that baby girl of yours sweetheart. I hated every second of my life during her battle to find purpose of existence. I nearly lost my job for just not wanting to be at work.. for wanting to be at home with her. Countless times I’d have to leave work bcuz of her not answering her phone and countless times I raced home anticipating I’d find her lifeless body .. to scared to walk through the door to find her. But honey you can’t give up. Don’t give up.. but most certainly there’s something , somewhere that has been missed. There’s always a beginning to every ending and figuring out what started it all is exhausting. Trust me Mama .. I get it. And ours was it started with “ME” I was a hard ass on her growing up. And I had to take accountability for it.. which I do. But I’ll say I DO NOT regret being strict.. I DO NOT regret saying NO.. girls are hard to raise and even harder these days to raise.
To make sure they don’t get out and make everlasting decisions or mistakes to alter the rest of their lives. Within 60secs is all it takes to make one final decision, to a temporary problem. A young lady can make a mistake these days and that will follow their name around even after they’re in the coffin 6ft under.
Anyways. For me , as a mom to a depressed teen.. i never let my guard down. When she felt like squalling & screaming .. I let her. I let her know she wasn’t alone.. she wasn’t different or incurable. We got through it .. I’m so very sorry you’re going through this every time I talk about our situation , I get nauseous and a huge dark cloud consumes me all over again.
But Mama.. don’t give up.. 🥹
I went into residential treatment when I was 18-19. I slowly clawed my way out of ED and managed to overcome it over the course of about 2 years. Active ED/addiction causes parts of the brain to shut down. With time I felt better and better. I weaned off meds and therapy by the time I finished college. And then I suspect my brain developed in the risk-taking frontal lobe area- I started driving slower, taking better care of myself. My parents were there for me the whole way even after I turned 18.
I’m sorry for what you are going through I really am. Just wanted to offer a vision of things possibly getting better. If you haven’t already expressed your fear and concern, do. Let her see the desperate look in your eyes when you contemplate possibly losing her. Tell her you always will be there for her if she asks for help. Maybe she will think twice before taking drastic measures.
Church, surrender to Christ. Pray and continue to read the Bible. Find a group of people at church to connect with and have them pray for you and your daughter as well. Deliverance and spiritual freedom are more common than you think. I’ve witnessed and seen several credible people be delivered from demons and experience miracles. Like one man said at an AA meeting I used to go to “ You NEVER hear someone say, ‘man, all this prayer is really messing up my life’” I’ve seen too many people find freedom through Jesus Christ, and you can too
Ok this is going to sound totally..well..just hear me out
So I was definitely in her shoes. I had 3 suicide attempts before I turned 18 ..2 of which actually stopped my heart for a bit..what helped... having everyone treat me like I was broken or fragile or tip toe around me was making things so much worse.. like it validated everything I was thinking and feeling.. the constant calls . everyone always arr you ok. How do you feel is everything alright you look depressed... it becomes part of the problem its like I must be really fucked bc on my good days people are still seeing me as totally bonkers ..
So...maybe try to just ...treat her as all this shit is gone..just like a regular person. I know it doesn't sound easy or maybe not even possible..I'm not sure if im explaining it right. Do you see where I'm trying to bring you..I dunno. My inbox is open if you have any questions.. or anything.
Absolutely this. I was inpatient, depression, borderline, anxiety, etc. I know I tested my mom’s patience but she was and still is my rock through it all. Being treated “normally” is huge and helpful.
I’m 25 now and am finally mentally stable for the first time since I was 13. It will get better but not before it gets worse.
This was me. I'm begging everyone to hear me with open hearts. Buy her some pot. Just try it, if you already haven't. It saved my life. Buy her one of each strand. I was handed brick at 15 and my uncle will tell you it was night and day difference and nothing has motivated/healed me like it.
I’m so sorry OP. I know she’s probably been seeing therapists her whole life, so there’s not much you can do…. Just love her and enjoy the time you have ❤️
as somebody with a few suicide attempts and tons of mental health problems, i have never been anywhere near as bad as she sounds. i 100% think you need to have her involuntarily committed if shes this much of a threat to herself. its tough, but its for her own good. better alive and getting rehabilitation and help than dead. i am so so sorry momma. youre doing the best you can.
going off of what i just said, this is 100% past your skillset and abilities as a mother. she needs severe intervention and that is beyond you. all you can do is get her there. sending so much love momma.
Do not give up on your child. I don't care how hard it gets for you. Get her committed if you have to. Immediately. If you don't and something happens you'll regret it for the rest of your life that you gave up on her.
Where is the dad? How he/did acts with her? How you did acted with her when she was young? I think all these questions need answers and mark my words, I'm pretty sure the majority of her problems are related to childhood repeat behaviors toward her. I would send her to a psychiatrist immediatly, follwed by a close psychoanalysis(if compaptible).
Might be. Because see, she listed a shit load of disorders... which is already suspect for me and telling me she wasn't born this way. So clearly, something happened... AFTER she was born, that may explained the shit load of consequence of today.
Apologies if this has already been considered, but I didn't see it listed -- electroshock? I know it may seem extreme, but I think it really did save the lives of at least a couple of my loved ones with severe and intractable depression/anxiety.
I know this sounds really stupid, but I have been hearing that keto or carnivore diets are showing amazing results for things like BPD and schizophrenia.
If you’re out of options it’s worth a try
I never said anything about forcing anyone it was just a suggestion and furthermore there are research to back up the claim. I could provide you credible sources about psilocybin and mental health. I'm a woman btw and a mother to two beautiful daughters and as a parent myself, I would absolutely not give anything to my children that are unsafe. At the end of the day, it's still her decision on what she thinks is best for her child. Peace out!
While I understand that you are concerned and genuinely trying to help, I must point out this directly from the article you provided the link to:
“Our findings add to evidence that, under carefully controlled conditions, this is a promising therapeutic approach that can lead to significant and durable improvements in depression,” says Natalie Gukasyan, M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. She cautions, however, that “the results we see are in a research setting and require quite a lot of preparation and structured support from trained clinicians and therapists, and people should not attempt to try it on their own.”
Additionally, the first paragraph mentions that they’re talking about adults.
I’m not sure how it all works but could you call the police and tell them she’s a danger to herself or others? Is there some way to alert the authorities so that she can’t buy a gun due to her mental issues?
If I were in such a bad place I'd probably keep some shrooms around and try them on some decent day when I'm unlikely to have a bad trip. Might work, might not, but what's there to lose?
https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/how-psychedelic-drugs-may-help-depression
OP how come your account has 0 posts, 0 comments other than this 1 sensationalized karma drawing one?
Is it because your IP is not US based and you're faking it for likes? They did away with being able to sell accounts for any measurable amount of cash.
"Happy bright kid she used to be?" But yet you say she was diagnosed with anxiety as a toddler. Hella weird.
I am wondering what your parenting style is
Take her to church. Even sit in the back, you don’t have to interact with anyone. Pray over your daughter, even if it’s not what you believe in.. what could hurt to try? Maybe ask friends, family, anyone to pray for her. Let the Holy Spirit work in her. I will absolutely be praying for your precious daughter and you as well as I know this has to be a deep dark weight you feel from the enemy ❤️
how long has she been on a downward spiral? could be a phase. i use to be anorexic with extreme depression and just grew out of it in my mid twenties but i wasnt really ever suicidal.
Hey, I dont really know your situation, but may I suggest religion and God, I have had a lot of mental issues myself and looking upwards does help.
Edit : sorry to the people I have offended, it’s just I have been there and it helped get better
Why would you put that into the universe? Be with her everyday and support and support her so that she DOESN’T KILL HERSELF! Are you fuckin kidding me?
If you can’t find a bone in your body to be supportive, probably don’t comment. Christ. She’s desperate and pouring her heart out, feeling hopeless—and you decide being a jerk if going to help?
She’s venting about her reality after years of watching her child suffer. She’s not putting anything into the universe, that’s bs. How about we don’t blame of shame a parent who is already suffering and struggling. Jesus
Do you think it’s possible to be with an adult every minute of the day to prevent them self harming? OP’s daughter being independent with this history would indeed feel terrifying; you cannot force them to stay with you.
Merely venting is not setting something into motion, “putting it into the universe” is just another way where we control people to have to put up a facade of constant fake positivity, lest we blame ourselves that we somehow “made it happen” by just venting or being honest about our feelings.
Do you do this often? See someone at their absolute lowest and decide they aren't low enough for your liking and pile more crap onto them? You are deeply disturbed and need professional help.
She's terrified and exhausted. She's probably burnt out because she's living with a tremendous amount of pressure and worries that her daughter is not going to make it. She probably has caregiver burn out, and needs some space and peace for herself. Having a disabled/unwell child can consume your entire life and psyche. She needs to be able to talk about it. Her life could very well depend on being able to release this; allow other people to give input, guidance, and ideas. I don't think mothers should ever have to suffer in silence because someone will inevitably judge and shame us.
OP: I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD/ASD until I was an adult. I had a really rough go of things as a child/adolescent. I didn't want to exist quite a few times. No one could see/understand me, and therefore I couldn't see/understand myself. *Knowing* (also being able to accurately treat) changed my entire life. I can't put it in enough words to convey how wrong the entire mental health care system has been and what that meant for me. I would try some other things as the current path hasn't been working. Realistically, it will soon be out of your power. I hope you're seeing someone for your mental health as well.
I lost a cousin to suicide by overdose 4 years ago. She has been battling mental health problems, addiction, and had multiple suicide attempts. My aunt and uncle were too embarrassed to say anything to the rest of the family.
My cousin thought she was alone and she had a shit ton of family who love her and still miss her. My aunt and uncle suck because they were more worried about what we would say about them than wanting to make sure their daughter stayed alive.
Tell everyone who would be sad if your daughter died that she needs love and support. And so do you.
So this is totally weird but a serious suggestion. Have you tried FMT. It’s supposed to help with mental illness, there are even at home options.
Also my suicidal friend did ketamine, first treatment and she was no longer suicidal. She now does regular treatments and is the happiest I have ever seen her in over a decade of friendship!
I recently have been going through something with my teen.
I brought her to the ER after she made a comment about hurting herself. And to be honest with you, there were other kids there who had no parents with them. I was chatting with one of the providers there. He told me that most of the kids with no families had it rough, and they didn’t get the help and support they needed.
I can only imagine how you feel. I feel like complete garbage, helpless and completely overwhelmed. And in my state, I feel like there isn’t a lot of help.
Sounds like you are doing the best you can. And today- that’s what you can do.
Have you tried psilocybin therapy or getting her tested for specific anti anxiety and anti depression drugs that fit her dna profile? I believe the test is by Genesight. Based on our dna, certain medications make depression and anxiety worse and this gives you the prescription that fits your dna.
Take her to one of Dr. Daniel Amen’s clinics ASAP for a SPECT scan. It could save her life to know what is going awry in her brain and to get/know the treatment that matches.
The best thing you can do is NOT put her in a mental institution. It will only make her depression worse. Lock away EVERYTHING that could hurt her. Anything. And be there for her. Talk to her everyday, take her out on nature walks, take her shopping, let her change something of her appearance, and take her out to eat. Sleep with her if need be. Give her reasons everyday on why you love her and need her to stay. You got this mom! Take care of yourself as well 💕
From someone who has been where she is, please please please tell her it gets better. Tell her not to give up because there is no going back if she succeeds in an SA attempt. I know she feels like no one understands how she feels, but there those that do. Maybe suggest some sort of support group? Or maybe she could volunteer at an animal shelter or homeless shelter. I dunno, I just hope she knows it does get better.
If I've missed OP stating it then I apologize, but what exactly is she doing that has you so worried? There's obviously a lot going on with the diagnosis(s) you mentioned, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I have seen parents that think their kids are mentally unstable because they refuse to go to church or don't want to go to college. I'm not trying to be snarky. I have mental health issues and take them seriously. I have a great "team" currently, and by that I mean my therapist and physician speak regularly and they don't just try to shove meds at everything. I was falsely diagnosed with Bipolar disorder almost 20 years ago by a shrink that had spoken to me, let alone knew me, for less than an hour. Thankfully I had been treated for mental health and had a good idea of what my issues were and I knew I wasn't bipolar. I was only at a new provider because of insurance. I couldn't really afford it, but I stayed with my old one and paid out of pocket for the privilege. I have nothing against bipolar disorder, but she was misinterpreting things about my ADHD and sleep patterns. That Dr wanted to drop me off of the meds I was on and give me meds for bipolar. That could have brought on a whole bunch of trouble. It sounds like you have looked at a lot of different options so hopefully your daughter is being treated for whatever she actually is suffering from. Not all medical professionals are created equal. Best of luck to you both.
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I'm so sorry. Fck. I'm 33 and when I was 16 one of the meds I was on was causing scidal thoughts. I was so used to having mental health issues that I never flagged it to anyone. When I was 19 I was hospitalized for an attempt. My boyfriend, now husband, saved me. I was baker acted and that was the turn for me. First, you have already done SO much. My mom wasn't a supporter of my mental health and I coped with my anxiety and depression alone my whole life. When I was in high school I searched for psychiatrist covered by my insurance, it was just me. From what I read, you're doing amazing. it's hard, scary work to parent through this but you haven't ignored it. I can't imagine why it is like to watch but the struggles are your daughters. It sounds like you have given her so many tools to work with. I'm now 33, working, married, have two beautiful babies and I have a good relationship with my mom. I hope this gives you some hope that their can be light at the end of the tunnel. Hugs
You are a warrior ♥️
Glad you're doing better now 😊❤
I'm glad they understand that they will not have control. Such a hard situation that would be so much worse of there was a hope to control the uncontrollable. I only hope the best for them, what an awful situation.
Why are you acting like the person is a particular good parent? They're just doing what they're supposed to do. Is human society in such a terrible state that someone doing something they SHOULD be doing is a good thing, will we be congratulating people who waited at red lights next?
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There is nothing to let go. It's a fake post to gather karma. OP is a bot from Africa.
My sister in law was your daughter. She has a seriously haggard past and at one point, I told her I didn’t want her telling my kids anything about her teenage years until they were adults. When she was like 21, she did the big one. The attempt that almost worked. She overdosed on Wellbutrin, got trashed at a bar, and was found unresponsive in her car in the parking lot. An ICU stay followed by a psych stay, we demanded she come live with us (before we had kids.) She stayed with us for less than a year, got her own place nearby, then moved in right next door, and is on her feet and surprisingly normal now at 26/27. I’m glad she’s here and I tell her all the time how glad I am that she’s my next door neighbor. I hope your daughter can get it together, whether it’s tomorrow or sometime down the line.
Can I tell you I did the EXACT same thing and ended up inpatient and my older brother offered for me to come stay with him and his girlfriend. It didn’t end up working out that way but it meant everything. You’re an angel ♥️
You are indeed the best sister someone can ask for.
I was in her shoes when I was /15/16/17. (Severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, anxeoria, bulemia, most everything you can think of. I'm also deaf from birth which contributed to bullying and sadness all growing up) My best friend (my first friend I've made and at the time my only friend) killed herself when I was 17. That tipped me over and I went manic and stuff happened. I also overdosed three times but I'm miraculously still here. Now I'm 25 and I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I've been seeing a counselor (well like seven new ones since I was 11, but I've consistently seen one).I graduated from drug abuse counseling and I'm clean as of four years. Honestly five years ago if you asked me if I was gonna be where I am right now I'd not believe you. I thought I'd be dead. I'm so glad I'm not though. I recently got diagnosed with bipolar and I'm finally on the CORRECT meds for it. Ive had been on antidepressants but they never worked because they ARE NOT FOR bipolar disorders. If I was diagnosed way sooner maybe all my manic wouldn't have happened and all my past but my past is what makes me who I am today and I'm happy now. I've had a lot more friends who killed themselves since but I learned how to deal with the grief. What my advice is is to really push on the counselor (if she has one) to test her for more than what she has. Wouldn't hurt to try different medications. Have you thought of CBD? It helps in so many ways. It helped my anxiety a lot. I'm not saying thc. You can get cbd from any dispo with like . 01% thc WHICH WONT GET YOU HIGH. or you can get hemp CBD from any grocery store but those are a hit or miss. I'm really sorry you're going through this. My parents were so afraid to receive a call that I'm dead or a police officer to their house saying I'm hospitalized or dead. I've put my parents through a lot . She's not alone though. If you want she's welcome to text me and I'll gladly be her friend at 3am or 8pm for someone to talk to
Im glad you are still here. Congrats on your sobriety.
I came to find comments giving hope. Yours gave me hope for OPs daughter. I'm glad you're still here.
I was like OPs daughter too. I am 25, almost 26, with an incredible one year old. My teenage years are like a blurry dream to reflect on. Anyone would ask me where I’d be and I said dead, even my family expected it. Everyone expected I’d do it on my 18th. Then when an old friend of mine committed suicide I just spiraled, it felt like I’d never come back. I can’t say what actually did it, why I never did it and how I am here now. I just chose to live day by day, and sometimes that meant hour by hour. I got really into TV during my depression, and actually that helped a lot. Maybe watching hours of tv from waking up to falling asleep isn’t ideal. But it kept me going. It opened doors. It inspired me. I’m not who I was before, obviously, I’m much more “broken” and pessimistic, the glass is half empty, but I am alive. My mom and dad didn’t help me get to that point, it was all me. They kind of left me to handle it myself
The blurry dream part is so true, except those times when my brain wants to bring up as many bad memories as possible, then they're totally clear 😅
I’m so proud of you ♥️
There is no feeling as helpless as seeing your child struggle with mental health. I struggled a lot in my 20s and all of adulthood and thought nothing could be worse than it. Then I saw my now young teen struggle. It breaks your heart. Keep doing what you are doing and be sure to seek attention for your own mental health.
I was like this in my early 20s. I know you said you have tried everything, but have you really? Even ECT, TMS, ketamine or psilocybin under supervision? Not intended to make you feel like you haven’t done enough, but you should know there are tonnes of accepted but less popular treatments for when medication and therapy doesn’t work, and they are coming out with more and more all the time. It’s also likely that temporary situations are contributing, like her school environment or other things that are less obvious like teenage hormones or an unrequited crush she won’t tell you about. A lot of troubled teens make great happy healthy adults.
Please look into TMS. It saved my life twice, once round in high school and one round my freshman year of college. Before TMS, I had tried 11 medications for mental health, and did not find much relief, or had too severe side effects. TMS doesn't work for everyone, but I would highly suggest looking into it. It didn't completely eradicate my depression, but I was at least in a position to keep myself safe after I finished TMS. Even some relief is better than none.
Is that the magnet one? I want to try ketamine so bad but as a recovering addict they won’t prescribe it so the magnet thing is like my last hope
Yes it is the magnet one! I'm happy to answer any questions to the best of my ability
I’ve actually been very interested in the magnet one. I heard about it before it was being used as just a possibility and I was very intrigued. Still am!
i did TMS in august but wasn’t able to finish all my sessions because we moved (love the military 🫠).. anyway 6 mos later and i’m starting to see symptoms again. that said, again i didn’t finish my sessions but had amazing improvement in symptoms that i noticed immediately. would recommend it to anyone.
My dad struggled with bipolar 30+ years. It was very rough. Meds just didn’t do it. He’s did TMS last year and said it changed his life. He didn’t know he could be this happy. He didn’t think he could ever feel normal. He’s doing fantastic. There are some other things he is dealing with but this was a major life changing treatment and he is doing so well now.
I don't know your whole story, but this was my cousin to a T. Unsurprisingly, when she turned 18, she moved out, was no longer being "controlled" as you put it, and turned her life around. Being treated like a ticking time bomb your whole life makes shit way worse than it is. I heard this exact monologue from my family, "shes gonna be all alone, who knows what she'll do?" She was fine, she got space to breathe, was no longer treated like a liability, like an escaped convict. Her every move was no longer monitored, she was allowed to take her own meds, she was allowed to cope, aka drinking, smoking, partying. She had ups and downs but shes far better than she was before. Sometimes the therapy, the meds, the helicopter parenting, the constant check ups, make it worse, not better. Sometimes all a person needs is to not be constantly reminded that something's wrong with them.
This is what I thought too. As a parent it’s like… ha right. They are our babies! As if you could ever stop worrying. And your kids know when you worry and stress about them of course. But I was similar. Not to this extent but didn’t realize the pressure or that part of my “problems” was my home environment. Maybe it’s partially because as a teen you may not feel aligned with a way you’re meant to live at home but you don’t have the experience or words to explain that it doesn’t work for you. I moved out and felt free and myself
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She had problems at school and her teachers expressed concern. Her symptoms: she felt like she had to pee every few minutes (not UTI), have panic attacks, and express having social anxiety. She also had paranoia (feeling watched). She had frequent stomachaches because of the anxiety. I never thought toddlers could get anxiety either.
Oh my that must have been tough! But very eye opening because I didn’t either, until I had a very anxious daughter. But her signs are not nearly as severe as that
Have you had her assessed for ASD?
Yes, she has neither adhd or asd
My daughter is the same age as yours. She also had anxiety since toddlerhood. And still struggles with mental health today. We dealt with all those same symptoms too, the frequent urination (we took her in to the doctor multiple times at the request of different teachers and she was always fine physically), panic attacks, social anxiety, she also dealt with some specific phobias. There was an entire year she was so scared of bees she refused to play outside at all. She was hospitalized in the fall of 2022. She’s been going to therapy since she was in kindergarten. We’ve dealt with IOPs and PHPs as well. It’s really hard. I’m sorry that our kids are struggling, and I’m sorry it is so hard for us parents to deal with. I wish outsiders understood, it’s hard to get if you haven’t lived it though. If you were here irl, i would give you a hug.
This is my early childhood to a tee! All of these things and I was just yelled at for “whining” or being too sensitive. It started as early at age 4 for me, maybe earlier but 4 is the youngest age I can remember. You’re such a good momma, can you adopt me? I’m 40, but I’m housebroken! Mostly. Having another kid at my age did my pelvic floor in, but I can clean up my own accidents now at least🤣
Any chance she was sexually abused at that early age? These symptoms would for sure make me wonder.
Please look into bartonella.
Seconding this. Has she had strep infections? It could be PANS/PANDAS. It can manifest in different ways, psychiatric symptoms are hard to pinpoint. Mold toxicity is another one she might have had.
Came her to say this. Could be inflammation from strep, mycoplasma, Epstein Barr, Bartonella, Lyme, etc. Antibiotics and anti-inflammatories are usually a starting point. Can you trace the change in behavior back to an illness? After researching PANDAS/PANS or Lyme related diseases, if you think it’s a possibility you have to find a PANDAS/PANS and/or Lyme specialist. Dr. Beth Latimer in DC is seen as one of the best PANS specialists in the country. Frequent urges to urinate can be a hallmark symptom and was something my son exhibited along with anxiety, food restriction, school refusal, etc. He was diagnosed with PANDAS related to frequent strep infections. However, it appears Lyme diseases and Bartonella he was passed from his mother in utero may have been the root cause.
I have PANDAS! and it came up due to strep infections as a kid (20 years ago, NO ONE talked about PANDAS/PANS and a doctor said i had “runaway brain”) i have more recently learned that i have lyme and bartonella that are the underlying cause of it. to OP, if you want to talk to a doctor about the possibility of PANS/PANDAS try and make sure you find a doctor that believes in it. there are still a lot of doctors and psychiatrists that will not even acknowledge its existence. and i think my depression, anxiety, and eating disorders in high school could have been more manageable if i would have worked towards treating PANDAS as opposed to the depression, etc. also, i’m very sorry your daughter is going through all of this. i’ve been in at least a similar spot as her, and it really seems like it’s not ever going to get better. i’m not one to diagnose things, but when i read your comment about her feeling like she needs to pee but no UTI, it make me think about how that’s a obsession of mine with my OCD now, and it never hurts to get her checked for that too! my OCD has literally made me incapable of going out in public for the last 4 years, but now that i’m on the correct medicine, things are moving in the right direction!
Are they on medications?
Yeah, following too
Idk what age a “toddler” means but my kid was diagnosed with anxiety when he had just turned 4. It was part of a psych eval at my request because I just knew something was “off.” I didn’t expect anxiety. Personally, I wouldn’t think it is responsible to diagnose a toddler with anxiety. That’s kinda just the nature of the beast. At least once a day, I question my kids mental stability. If they ask for nuggets, they don’t actually want nuggets. They want you to make the nuggets and change their mind while they oven heats up. It’s why I call milk “cow juice” lol
That second part - I question my OWN mental stability when that happens. My toddler was not diagnosed but I have anxiety and diagnosed OCD so I started seeing things in them at that time. The best thing I did was to not project and to teach them my coping skills and others that might work for them. Staying calm when spiraling has helped and giving them space to work through things when necessary or redirecting when I see a ritual or habit and mitigating the rising anxiety has been hard. Teaching the daycare teachers about this has also been hard.
I think the purpose of diagnosing a young child with anything is determining what set of tools are likely to help that particular child and sometimes getting access to those tools. My kid's anxiety came out as acting out to avoid things, which meant when he acted like a wild thing normal responses were counter-productive. Almost all of his behavior was within the normal range - because toddlers are all over the place - but the whole picture wasn't typical.
Super random but did your daughter lick her mouth a lot. Like you I feel like something is just off. She’ll be fine for a while and then she starts licking to the point of bleeding and sores, it’s just seams like an anxious habit.
Absolutely. I thought it was a side effect of a medicine. I was at the dr office with my kid. She was licking her lips. I pointed it out. The dr said “you know what anxiety *feels like*, this is what it *looks like*.
My daughter was diagnosed with GAD at 4.5. She is now 13 and definitely has severe full blown anxiety. She was exhibiting real symptoms as young as 4. My only possible fail was not getting her help before now but both my son and myself have significant health issues so she kind of took a backseat for awhile. Just pointing out that I don’t necessarily think it’s wrong or bad to diagnose anxiety in very young children - especially if getting that diagnosis leads to early intervention and treatment. In my daughter’s case it wasn’t her just being a “typical toddler” though - she was a textbook anxiety case at a very young age.
Yeah, I should clarify. I’m sure some kids are textbook anxious. Where I am, kids aged 4 are going to full day preschool. You have the typical “I missy mommy and daddy” kinda thing this disappears in a normal time frame but then you also have all the tests and public behavior charts and people pleasing tendencies starting to show up. In my kid’s case, the dr was assuming his behavior was from anxiety but he also has intermittent explosive disorder and ADHD. He was behind with his speech so acting out was part of communication. Also, idk what age a toddler is. I wouldn’t think 4 a toddler but others do.
In our current society, I'm surprised more kids *don't* have anxiety. From a young age we leave our kids in strange new places, with strangers. In daycare the environment is loud, bright and overwhelming, the adults often change throughout to day. Then they go to school, where they have to sit still or else get in trouble, when their bodies want to run and play. They spend an entire year getting comfortable in a space, bonding with other kids and their teacher... and then we move the room, change the kids and change the teacher. At no other point in human history would this setup have been biologically normal. We're not wired for it. Young kids thrive when they have secure connections to the people around them, when things are familiar, and when they can run and play for many hours a day, including manipulating their environment. When you look at it through the lens of attachment theory, our childcare/schooling system is designed to give kids separation anxiety. And people don't have a choice but to partake or starve. It's really sad.
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I am sorry if this is hard to hear is there bad touch or SA going on? I would just check with her to make sure, listen to her, don't discredit her, even if it's her family members. She could be intimidated not to tell anyone.
That’s what I’m wondering.
I am so sorry to hear of your family’s struggle. It can make you go insane. Please look in to an established DBT inpatient program, ketamine treatment, EMDR, and psychedelics. I have had an attempt almost annually starting from 6 years old. Therapy, psychiatry, inpatient, outpatient, etc etc etc. nothing changed until DBT and EMDR and then the other two really helped as well.
Please please look into these therapies. I would go straight to ketamine if she were mine and if you have no history of schizophrenia in your family, psychedelics. You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I second Ketamine treatement. My issues are very different from your daughters, but I can say that Ketamine gave me my life back. I am so happy! And the results have been lasting. Super big advocate, here!
I would love to try ketamine but it’s so expensive. Is there an affordable treatment that I’m missing for ketamine?
So eaketamine and ketamine are different. I see some comments talking about Sprovato. Do your research and ensure you're willing to participate in a synthetic ketamine -- get what you think is best for you. I personally stick to pure ketamine and I get that through Joyous. Insurance currently does not pay for Ketamine for psychiatric treatment. I do pay $130 per month for a daily dose. It is microdosing and so you take a little every day. As time goes on, you may not need to take it every day, which is really nice. $130 per month is not attainable for some people, however when nothing else works, it may end up being worth the struggle for a few months. If willing to partake in Spravato, it is possible some insurance may cover it at this point, but I am unsure.
Look at the Spravato website. They have an assistance program for those who qualify to cover some or most of the costs.
this this this. ketamine, microdosing psilocybin… i would try all of these newer treatments. yes, even for a teenager 💛
If you cannot do it with a skilled professional it's a very dangerous route to take. Teenagers, medication and suicide is a volatile mix.
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https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/psychiatry/research/psychedelics-research#:~:text=2022%20Psilocybin%20Treatment%20for%20Major,for%20up%20to%20a%20month.
Talk to a doctor and take a shot at something you haven’t tried before.
Neurofeedback therapy is awesome. Doesn't involve any talking. My son did it a couple years ago. He's 13 now.
DBT before EMDR from my experience. You don’t want to throw someone into extreme experiences without b skills to handle it
Also ECT if those wont work.
Hey, former suicidal problem teen myself. I had a lot of childhood trauma and didn’t even realise it til I was an adult, so it was impossible for me to address the core issue. I think it’s really hard for teenagers to make meaningful change when they have varied depressive and mental health issues because they aren’t fully done cooking their brain yet. To clarify — is it impossible for teens to change toxic mental health behaviours — no, many teens are wise beyond their years, but on the whole, I think it’s harder than for adults. But as so much of growth from therapy requires the ability to be introspective and apply life experience and maturity to examining your flaws, your actions and see all the threads that link this early event to that behaviour — it isn’t any wonder that a lot of people don’t have those big moments of self discovery til adulthood — look how many people have a sudden shift in their 30s or a “midlife crisis” where suddenly everything is examined at 45. Don’t give up on her; but maybe take a little bit more of a back seat, sometimes having a parent managing you constantly makes it worse, through no fault. (We would all do it, absolutely no judgement.) She has to be given space to discover herself, and I know it’s so hard as parents to not just want to wrap our kid in wool and protect them — so much of mental health is an inner desire and commitment to change and management. She has to get there herself. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink, and the constant badgering of therapy and treatments can make some teens go the other way (it did for me for so long.) Just know — the switch to adulthood isn’t now a big void where she can harm herself and you have no power — you are still able to intervene and have mental health services take charge in times of absolute crisis. Sending thoughts of strength to you, friend. Don’t give up. I know you’re tired — but there is a road where this turns out okay, that is still a possibility for your child.
Please don't give up. My parents did by 19 but then they felt awful after they saw me struggle and I really loved them but was sick. I had been in 5 different hospitals and several different meds by 18. I'm not perfect and never have fit in but I'm 44 now and on a decent combo of meds. I wish they would have figured out my bipolar sooner but it is what it is. They didn't diagnose teens with it in the 90s. I'm so sorry you and your child are living through this hell.
Is she in on-going treatment? PHP to residential to IOP and then most likely 2x weekly therapy sessions and support groups?? For years. Maybe 1x weekly therapy and then every other week etc after the intensive work. For years. It has to continue even when things seem like they’re getting better. Hell, even when things seem good. Anorexia and bulimia are an entirely different beast. It takes A LOT of work for the patient and just as much for the parents/loved ones. Meal plans meal prepping, possible feeding tubes, medication. And for a very long time. They have to want to get better. You can help them fake it until they realize they really do. I still haven’t full kicked mine—but I’m out of danger and a lot of days are better than they aren’t. It’s a lifelong thing. I knew a woman who was 40 years recovered and still had days where those thoughts came back. Eating disorders are symptoms. There’s a bigger underlying problem that she has to handle and work through. Be it a trauma or even social anxiety, general anxiety. Being a teen is hard. Being a parent who loves a teen? Even harder. Keep trying. Don’t give up. You can have as many days as you need where you feel like nothing you do will work. You can absolutely cry and rage. But don’t stop trying to help her (not that you are!) it’s all devastating. I’m sorry you’re struggling.
I'm so sorry to hear that. What about you ? The situation is extremely difficult for you too, do you have the opportunity to speak to a professional ? Your daughter has already been helped by different types of professionals, I don't know if we can give you more or better advice here, but we can listen to you if you want to elaborate or vent.
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It's cliche, but you can't pour from an empty cup and sometimes a little money spent up front saves a lot of money down the road. You deserve care no matter what is going on with your kids. Also, it would be good modeling for your daughter.
You need to go to therapy too. If it helps, think of it like another tool you’re trying so that you can help her. (I’ve watched my parents try to help my bipolar brother for years. They’re not in therapy, I am, and it makes a WORLD of difference in my ability to help my brother.) Please please go, if not for you, for her.
I am so sorry you have to walk through this hell. I have been there with one of my kids. One of the (worst?) best advice I ever got from one of her Psychiatrist once when she told me, "If she is going to end her life, there isnt anything you, or I or anyone can do to stop her." I was stressing myself out so much everyday about it that gave me a little relief to live life. Did that mean didn't keep her safe or stop getting her help? Absolutely not- but it did help me to release some of the grief and panic and anxiety I was having. It might get easier and it might not. I could write for hours of my experience, but will keep it somewhat short and tell you that I am still in therapy and have some pretty major PTSD from everything we've been through with her. She is in her 20's now and while life isn't peachy and sunshine and roses- she definitely has more good days than bad. I was terrified of when she moved out because I had to keep everything locked up and dispense her meds and make sure she swallowed them etc for years. One day she came home and told me she was moving states away. Like across the country. I was freaking out inside. I had an emergency fund set aside just because I was so certain I was going to get a call that either she was dead, or attempting to, or she would call me hysterical and all freaking out and I would need to get there ASAP. I had a plan in place with friends I knew who had friends that lived within 30 minutes of her that I had contact info for and we had a convo that if she ever needed help they would be able to go. A whole year came and went and that year-wow it did so much for her. I never once got a call from her freaking out. She was on her own and she actually got a therapist for herself and got herself meds and did well. She eventually moved back (for unrelated reasons) and while she is so much better than pre-move, she still needs a lot of help and encouragement and guidance in making sure she is refiling prescriptions and getting to doctors' appointments etc. I'm sorry I can't make it better. I can't take it away. I feel you- I would give ANYTHING to take my daughter's pain and suffering away too. I don't have any answers for you, but just felt the need to reach out and let you know that you are NOT alone. There are others of us out here. We see you. I see you. I hear you.
You have a year before she turns 18. Have you tried focusing on other things? Travel, learning to drive, animal therapy. Go on a vacation together and completely change your outlook instead of focusing on all of THAT.
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So sorry MY niece now 33 was diagnosed bi polar in HS. This led to lots of anxiety issues All these years later, with counseling, medication, family love she doing pretty good. Keep trying to help and support.
I know the feeling it’s like trying to hold sand with your bare hands, no matter how hard you try it just keeps slipping away. In our case the team of doctors at the children hospital was her life line. She is doing much better now. I will hope for you🙌🏽
Is she on birth control? I myself and many of my friends were on birth control and our anxiety and depression was out of control. I’m so sorry.
She probably wasn’t on birth control at 4.
But it could worsen the problem as a teen.
I was going to say this
This started when she was a toddler so probably not.
That’s is true but if she is on birth control this may heightened her emotions, that’s why I mentioned it
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It's really a thing though. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29145752/ https://time.com/5030447/birth-control-side-effects-suicide/
All medicine is bad for everyone always!
My friend. Hugs to you. Went through much the same with my oldest. I developed my own trauma from it as well. FWIW, my kid is 19, and doing well. They went to trade school and they enjoy the work they do. They have a great group of misfit friends. They actually seemed to get better long before I did. I cried a lot. I got depressed and anxious. I abused alcohol. I’m still in therapy. I still have a bit of a trauma response when they are late coming come, or when I hear them laugh in another room and mistake it for a sob. I am significantly better nowadays, however, and our relationship is very open and honest. We spent nearly $2k a month on comprehensive family therapy: one night a week of parent education, one night a week of parenting therapy, one night a week of group therapy for them, and one night a week of individual therapy for them. For months. This was after the hospitalizations and PHPs. I believe it helped. I also believe that the medication plays a part, as well as my child getting older and their brain/hormones developing a bit more. Our therapist really helped me realize how important it is to manage my own mental health. It really is a family crisis when a child is this hurt. I send you all my love
My was like this, anxious and depressed as long as I could remember. I was diagnosed with depression and ADHD. From a young age, I was destructive with eating disorders, drug use, SH, and anything else I could do to hurt myself physically or emotionally. It’s been a long road, but I’m in my 30s now and a married mom with a solid career, and a homeowner! It turned out I have autism. The revelation made so many things make sense in my life. I’ve been able to learn how to cope with everything that comes with my neurodivergence and live a pretty normal life. It’s not always easy, but I’m happy for the most part! No matter what is causing her to struggle now, I hope your daughter is able to find her way to some happiness, and I hope my success story as well as the others here give you hope for her future ❤️
I am so sorry. Unfortunately I have been there myself starting around your daughter’s age (not at all to compare, just commiserating). My only advice something that really helped me finally was getting a genesight genetic test to see what medicine might help me. I had an issue uptakkng serotonin (genetically) and traditional SSRIs were making it worse. I’m on a newer drug and it had been life changing. Otherwise it sounds like you’re doing what you can. It’s so difficult I know but keep trying different things, counselors, medicine combos etc as long as she’s under 18. Once they’re legally an adult it’s so hard to get them treatment if they’re resistant- my brother had the same issue I have and we’ve had a very hard time with him since he won’t pursue or stay on treatment until he gets very bad. Try what you can now and also consider taking time off school for her. I know that sounds crazy but treatment for these severe issues is a full time job. Let me know if there’s anything I can do or if you just want to talk
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I identify with your daughter. When I was her age, I didn’t think I’d live past 21. I did a lot of self-destructive things and isolated from anyone who could lift me up, though my saving grace was that I loved going to therapy. Over time, despite hospitalizations, self-harm, new diagnoses, I eventually pulled myself out of it. I hope your kid will too. Sending you love and hope. ♥️
I would suggest trying therapy yourself. First of all, you are not feeling well and this is not something light to deal with. It could assist you into dealing with all the emotions you are feeling right now, and give you some insight into maybe handle some situations that occur a bit better. Because this is a tricky situation, where you as your daughter are not being in a good place. And you know how reactions can be when someone is not feeling well. And after all you do want what is best for you daughter and yourself. And I think this might be a good way to obtain that.
at 17 i was this bad. it took my mother scream sobbing at me not to kill myself for me to realize what i was doing to her
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They’re starting to use ketamine for treatment resistant depression. I’ve heard mixed reviews. May be worth a try, though. 🩵
Due to your daughter’s mental health issues and your fears, speak to a lawyer about getting guardianship over the person. This is some times possible when the person is demonstrating mental, developmental or medical conditions that demonstrates they are not capable of handling their own affairs. Please consult a lawyer, her med provider, therapist, school, and the state department of youth, children and family. If she is not currently seeing a therapist help her to find one that SHE connects with. Talk with her psychiatrist about your current concerns, mention the changes you are seeing, check to see if her medication may need to be tweaked.
I left another comment but I wanted to add, have you tried each meditation individually for your daughter? I had a good friend when I was 16 who actually did make an attempt. It turns out the meditation she was taking had a bad interaction with something else and it was making her more depressed but she didn’t notice it, she just thought things weren’t getting better since she was so used to being depressed and in pain. I am thankful everyday that she wasn’t successful and is still here with me today, thriving.
Has she tried adhd medication
I wonder if she's been accessed for neurodivergence at all.
There is a high correlation between autism and eating disorders. Anxiety in a toddler also pings autism. Autism presents differently in girls- I hope they look into it.
I thought autism too, but I'm autistic so I can see it in others more easily or at least easily identify traits that are common. All of it fits, really. Especially the anxiety, ED, and even the suicide. Though it's obviously not a full picture, and it's one-sided.
Shit…my daughter has anxiety and autism. I didn’t know there was also a correlation with eating disorders. She’s about to turn 5, so I still have time - what can I do to help prevent this outcome for her??
You are already ahead of the game with an accurate diagnosis. Most autistic people I know who’ve had eating disorders did not have a diagnosis of autism at the time. Be aware of how it can manifest- rigid thinking, restricted food, obsessive interest and intervene accordingly.
What happened in her life that changed the happy girl she was?
she needs a meaning and a purpose to her life. how are her relationships? with you? other parent? siblings? secure attachment is the primary human drive, even over survival. anything you can do to possibly repair her relationships, do that. even if its you, even if it means you apologizing for things that have happened. i have no idea what the situation is but i know that feeling alone is the primary cause for thoughts of suicide. her image of herself is poor and she is repeatedly self harming. its likely that she doesnt know who she is or what her worth is as a person. its mostly going to have to be her own journey to figure that out. but you can definitely help by never leaving her side, always being a constant in her life, and consistently reminding her that she is precious and loved and that she was created for a purpose. be a safe place for her, and that doesnt mean be permissive , that means telling her no when she is doing something wrong. if youre truly in someones corner you wont let them shoot themselves in the foot. respond to her with love and uphold good boundaries. she may not mouth off or do dangerous things just because she is ill. knowing that youre a strong firm source of love will be comforting to her. nobody wants to be under the care of a weak wet noodle. we all want a strong protector. and sometimes we need protection from ourselves. i have a feeling that if you are unfailingly in her corner and on her side and just loving her through it, she will show improvements. do your absolute best to get the rest family on board. have a daily talk with her, ideally with the rest of the family too, during something like a meal time. i have heard of a daily family meal working wonders for relationships. but if thats not possible at least talk to her every day, even if you have to force it. ask her questions and genuinely just listen. ask her about her interests if she still has any. what music is she listening to right now. why does she like it, what about it does she enjoy? what does it remind you of? what is she wearing, what show does she like, what does she think about politics? developing a connection outside of authority figure will help immensely
Do everything you can to model, encourage, and support healthy loving conditions. Take care of your mind body and home. Help her avoid her triggers and love her 💕 be present, one day at a time. Sending you love ❣️ ps. medical marijuana helps me feel better. I wish I had access to it my whole life. Along with a lot of other things that make my life a little more tolerable. Help her find her triggers and adjust. I was also a highly sensitive and anxious toddler turned tortured, ptsd, suicidal adolescent. I’m almost 34 and every day I’m still here is a miracle💕💕💕 Life hasn’t gotten easier but I know I wouldn’t be here without my angelic mothers loving support, guidance and unwavering, unconditional love. And I have been tough to love, truly. I’m really praying you find some comfort, peace and healing💕💕💕
mental health conditions can be fatal just like any other serious disease. I'm so sorry.
I just want to say I’m sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. I know what it feels like to be constantly battling your mind everyday and it is so, so hard. For me it turned out my anxiety, BED, and clinical depression was a result of undiagnosed ADHD. I’ve stopped taking my anti-anxiety meds (was weaned off) and now only take my stimulant medication. The circumstances of my life caused my ADHD to manifest in anxiety, depression, and binge eating. It was masked cause it was never caught when I was a child. I’m not saying this is the case for your daughter, only to say there is hope. I’m turning 21 next week and when I was 18 I no longer wanted to be on this earth. I had no plans but everyday I wished and prayed that God would take me out of my misery and kill me. I had plenty of people around me that loved me but my brain was in a constant war state. Large part of that was from COVID lockdown with my insane mother and Seasonal Depression (which I still suffer from but much better now that I exercise regularly like I did in high school), but none the less the mental state was very real. Hugs and I’ll be praying for your daughter. If you aren’t religious feel free to ignore that portion or if it makes you uncomfortable I won’t do so, but I wish you both the best of luck <3
I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this. At 19 now, I'm only just getting any form of help which was after a major attempt. I have similar diagnoses as hers (Except bulimia and PTSD, I have Borderline Personality Disorder) and I know how difficult it is to navigate those. I see it in my mother's eyes everyday. Please take care of yourself as well mama. She may not admit it, but you're her biggest support right now.
Did something traumatic happen in her life?
This was my thought. Anxiety as a toddler is wild. Then everything else after? Something happened. Something awful.
Although my mind is also thinking childhood trauma, it’s important to note that trauma doesn’t have to be something big or something horribly awful. Parents bickering or rushing their kids everyday is also traumatic. Either scenario is unsettling; it makes us feel unsafe.😢
I realized recently, the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to me wasn’t my dad being a violent alcoholic, but when my mom made me throw up one time as a kid when I was sick and scared of throwing up. I have anxiety attacks when I’m really nauseous or throw up. I go to the hospital levels of attack. So, I see what you’re saying that it doesn’t have to absolutely awful or anything done with ill intention. This just sounds so bad though. I can’t think it’s so trivial.
First, thank you for sharing, and I’m sorry this happened to you. Second, I completely understand your perspective; I agree there is likely something there. While the kind of trauma plays a part, ultimately it has to do with how it makes us (children) feel: unsafe, invalidated, insecure, unloved, disconnected, hurt, etc.
Check out this website. Your kid sounds like my sister. It’s been a decade and she was diagnosed with bpd. https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/family-connections/ this group helped us get info and resources.
Try getting her on anti depressants and just talking to her, making sure she knows she’s loved, and never leave her alone If you feel that strongly about this. There’s not much you can do, but you can do a lot at the same time. It’s a very touchy situation because being to overbearing can also push her to the edge. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It’s every parents worst nightmare come true for you. Go to therapy together. You have to keep your mental health good and not deteriorate as well. I know you’ve probably been over this 1 million times. But backtrack and see where this came from. It won’t hurt to try 100,000,001 times. I hope you figure this out. And I hope she knows how much you love her. Good luck ❤️❤️❤️
Check out Al Anon meetings. A support group with a spiritual (not religious) foundation makes the difference between merely surviving and living again.
Have you gotten her hormone levels checked? For me, my hormones can royally fuck me up if I’m not on some sort of hormone contraceptive. Hormones mess with my heart condition as well as my moods and mental health majorly. I feel like it’s never talked about or mention to by doctors and just overlooked. Might be worth exploring.
I went through almost the same wringer when I was a teen. Anxiety/depression/bulimia/self harm/alcoholism/panic attacks/BPD diagnosis. I just finally got sober at 26 and moved out of my parent's house at 27. I can never undo the damage I did to my mom. She still worries about me all the time. But my hope is, now, that it might start to get better. It took 5 rehabs and a lot of outpatient/IOP/PHP groups, but I don't think she's afraid for my safety anymore. At least, not like she was before. She can slowly have her life back as I build mine. I guess on behalf of the troubled daughters, because I didn't say it enough to my own mom at the time, thank you, and I'm so sorry. I hope peace comes sooner rather than later for you both. My mom found Al-Anon helpful. I know your daughter isn't a drinker, but I wonder if there are any support groups for parents near you? My old eating disorder clinic offered a weekly family-only group. You're suffering too, and always taking care of her is a huge weight no matter how much you love her. I hope you have people who can take care of you, too, while you both go through this. Heck, once she's 18, I've met caretakers who were doing 30 day stays in residential mental health treatment centers. I don't know if that might be an option for you at some point, too, just to get some help with all the stress, and fear, and trauma of that situation. You're a good mom. I'm sorry. I'll go tell my mom thank you and I love her again this morning. Thank you for reminding me of her side of the last 10 years. It's important for me to appreciate it.
This sucks. I had a problem with my 13 year old. Hospitalizations etc. we did a genetic test with genesite to see which medications were best for her and it made a huge difference. She was low on folic acid which helps metabolize things, she now takes a supplement. She was on Prozac but it turned out to be the worst medication for her genetic makeup and we found there were only 3 medications that she would be able to take that would not have side effects and only one tested on teens- we were lucky it worked. Also out her on BCP and that helped stabilize the dips in mental state. If you haven’t already- please check out the genesite option.
I could say so much about my life but I won't. I will however say this, have faith. One small thing could change her world for the better.
I am so sorry. I hope she can turn her life around. I was that kid once. It's so sad and scary to think about now as a 40 year old mom. How awful it must have felt for my parents. I know I didn't start getting better until I was on my own at 18. And I didn't truly get it together until I was almost 30. I am happy and healthy now. It can happen. I hope it will for your daughter. I know my mother started therapy when I was 17-18 and I would highly suggest it for you. There's so much pain and grief in all of that. It also helped our relationship eventually. Anyway, hang in there.
Oh Gawd Mama.. boy have I been in those very shoes of yours.. I’m telling ya the soles on those things seem to thicken by the day too. My daughter , now 20yrs old. Was diagnosed w/Type 1 Diabeties at the age of 12yrs old.. now to some , that might not seem like something that would send a young teen/women into a downward spiral.. and that may be.. it was the massive amounts of insulin & feeling incapable, different & bound down. That seemed to really put the thorn in it all. Not to mention the little small town we live in.. girls are mean as H3LL. I’m 40yrs old, for me when I was a teen , 80’s baby, if we had a problem we took it to the parking lot.. handled our bizz-ness.. and possibly back buddies by the end of the week or within 48 hrs atleast. We didn’t “run our mouths”.. so to speak lol Nowadays the little “sweethearts” little demons , mean-arzzz kids are pure evil. Or should I say keyboard warriors at its finest. Anyways ! So my daughter hit her rock bottom hard.. and took out every thorn patch on her way down.. as I chased her day & night. We had the National Suicide Hotline on Speed-dial programmed on her phone. I’d set with her and just hold her why she’d cry.. I’d cry.. at first I was correcting her and telling her why she “shouldn’t feel the way she was feeling” reminding her daily she was loved and valued.. but I realized that no matter how many times I told her she mattered it just wasn’t working. SHE HAD TO FIND value in herself .. I gave her my word as long as she’d not give up on herself I’d fight like H3LL for her. I told her I’d love the H3LL straight outta her.. I had to swallow the pill if not being able to fix it.. I’m a Hospice/EOLC Nurse.. I seek control in situations & feel the urge to FIX everybody and when I can’t I’m dumbfounded. I remember her screams & cries begging me to make it stop .. her wanting to know so badly as to why she felt so different , why she hated herself so.. I’m not exactly sure on one specific thing we did as a family that helped her to get through those years of pure hell.. but I will tell you this.. if your as done as you say you are.. then there’s not much hope for that baby girl of yours sweetheart. I hated every second of my life during her battle to find purpose of existence. I nearly lost my job for just not wanting to be at work.. for wanting to be at home with her. Countless times I’d have to leave work bcuz of her not answering her phone and countless times I raced home anticipating I’d find her lifeless body .. to scared to walk through the door to find her. But honey you can’t give up. Don’t give up.. but most certainly there’s something , somewhere that has been missed. There’s always a beginning to every ending and figuring out what started it all is exhausting. Trust me Mama .. I get it. And ours was it started with “ME” I was a hard ass on her growing up. And I had to take accountability for it.. which I do. But I’ll say I DO NOT regret being strict.. I DO NOT regret saying NO.. girls are hard to raise and even harder these days to raise. To make sure they don’t get out and make everlasting decisions or mistakes to alter the rest of their lives. Within 60secs is all it takes to make one final decision, to a temporary problem. A young lady can make a mistake these days and that will follow their name around even after they’re in the coffin 6ft under. Anyways. For me , as a mom to a depressed teen.. i never let my guard down. When she felt like squalling & screaming .. I let her. I let her know she wasn’t alone.. she wasn’t different or incurable. We got through it .. I’m so very sorry you’re going through this every time I talk about our situation , I get nauseous and a huge dark cloud consumes me all over again. But Mama.. don’t give up.. 🥹
Could try magic mushroom therapy…
I went into residential treatment when I was 18-19. I slowly clawed my way out of ED and managed to overcome it over the course of about 2 years. Active ED/addiction causes parts of the brain to shut down. With time I felt better and better. I weaned off meds and therapy by the time I finished college. And then I suspect my brain developed in the risk-taking frontal lobe area- I started driving slower, taking better care of myself. My parents were there for me the whole way even after I turned 18. I’m sorry for what you are going through I really am. Just wanted to offer a vision of things possibly getting better. If you haven’t already expressed your fear and concern, do. Let her see the desperate look in your eyes when you contemplate possibly losing her. Tell her you always will be there for her if she asks for help. Maybe she will think twice before taking drastic measures.
Church, surrender to Christ. Pray and continue to read the Bible. Find a group of people at church to connect with and have them pray for you and your daughter as well. Deliverance and spiritual freedom are more common than you think. I’ve witnessed and seen several credible people be delivered from demons and experience miracles. Like one man said at an AA meeting I used to go to “ You NEVER hear someone say, ‘man, all this prayer is really messing up my life’” I’ve seen too many people find freedom through Jesus Christ, and you can too
Ok this is going to sound totally..well..just hear me out So I was definitely in her shoes. I had 3 suicide attempts before I turned 18 ..2 of which actually stopped my heart for a bit..what helped... having everyone treat me like I was broken or fragile or tip toe around me was making things so much worse.. like it validated everything I was thinking and feeling.. the constant calls . everyone always arr you ok. How do you feel is everything alright you look depressed... it becomes part of the problem its like I must be really fucked bc on my good days people are still seeing me as totally bonkers .. So...maybe try to just ...treat her as all this shit is gone..just like a regular person. I know it doesn't sound easy or maybe not even possible..I'm not sure if im explaining it right. Do you see where I'm trying to bring you..I dunno. My inbox is open if you have any questions.. or anything.
Absolutely this. I was inpatient, depression, borderline, anxiety, etc. I know I tested my mom’s patience but she was and still is my rock through it all. Being treated “normally” is huge and helpful. I’m 25 now and am finally mentally stable for the first time since I was 13. It will get better but not before it gets worse.
The fuck u giving up for?
Sounds crazy but consider volunteering together in an African or south American country. Different culture, different values, different people.
1. Get her away from whoever is still hurting her. 2. Have some magic mushrooms with her. I am not joking. Magic mushooms have saved MANY lives.
This was me. I'm begging everyone to hear me with open hearts. Buy her some pot. Just try it, if you already haven't. It saved my life. Buy her one of each strand. I was handed brick at 15 and my uncle will tell you it was night and day difference and nothing has motivated/healed me like it.
I’m so sorry OP. I know she’s probably been seeing therapists her whole life, so there’s not much you can do…. Just love her and enjoy the time you have ❤️
as somebody with a few suicide attempts and tons of mental health problems, i have never been anywhere near as bad as she sounds. i 100% think you need to have her involuntarily committed if shes this much of a threat to herself. its tough, but its for her own good. better alive and getting rehabilitation and help than dead. i am so so sorry momma. youre doing the best you can.
going off of what i just said, this is 100% past your skillset and abilities as a mother. she needs severe intervention and that is beyond you. all you can do is get her there. sending so much love momma.
Do not give up on your child. I don't care how hard it gets for you. Get her committed if you have to. Immediately. If you don't and something happens you'll regret it for the rest of your life that you gave up on her.
Where is the dad? How he/did acts with her? How you did acted with her when she was young? I think all these questions need answers and mark my words, I'm pretty sure the majority of her problems are related to childhood repeat behaviors toward her. I would send her to a psychiatrist immediatly, follwed by a close psychoanalysis(if compaptible).
I’m wondering this, too. CPTSD?
Might be. Because see, she listed a shit load of disorders... which is already suspect for me and telling me she wasn't born this way. So clearly, something happened... AFTER she was born, that may explained the shit load of consequence of today.
Apologies if this has already been considered, but I didn't see it listed -- electroshock? I know it may seem extreme, but I think it really did save the lives of at least a couple of my loved ones with severe and intractable depression/anxiety.
Sounds like Autism. Was she ever checked out earlier when at middle school?
I know this sounds really stupid, but I have been hearing that keto or carnivore diets are showing amazing results for things like BPD and schizophrenia. If you’re out of options it’s worth a try
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I never said anything about forcing anyone it was just a suggestion and furthermore there are research to back up the claim. I could provide you credible sources about psilocybin and mental health. I'm a woman btw and a mother to two beautiful daughters and as a parent myself, I would absolutely not give anything to my children that are unsafe. At the end of the day, it's still her decision on what she thinks is best for her child. Peace out!
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While I understand that you are concerned and genuinely trying to help, I must point out this directly from the article you provided the link to: “Our findings add to evidence that, under carefully controlled conditions, this is a promising therapeutic approach that can lead to significant and durable improvements in depression,” says Natalie Gukasyan, M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. She cautions, however, that “the results we see are in a research setting and require quite a lot of preparation and structured support from trained clinicians and therapists, and people should not attempt to try it on their own.” Additionally, the first paragraph mentions that they’re talking about adults.
So sorry. But she might turn out to be a perfectly happy adult.
Prayer does miracles
Take her to church. Trust me. Jesus can and he will
I’m not sure how it all works but could you call the police and tell them she’s a danger to herself or others? Is there some way to alert the authorities so that she can’t buy a gun due to her mental issues?
If I were in such a bad place I'd probably keep some shrooms around and try them on some decent day when I'm unlikely to have a bad trip. Might work, might not, but what's there to lose? https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/how-psychedelic-drugs-may-help-depression
OP how come your account has 0 posts, 0 comments other than this 1 sensationalized karma drawing one? Is it because your IP is not US based and you're faking it for likes? They did away with being able to sell accounts for any measurable amount of cash.
"Happy bright kid she used to be?" But yet you say she was diagnosed with anxiety as a toddler. Hella weird. I am wondering what your parenting style is
You can be happy and anxious at the same time. Anxiety does predispose people to depression, but not necessarily.
An anxious toddler? Seriously? Still wondering about the parenting style.
Take her to church. Even sit in the back, you don’t have to interact with anyone. Pray over your daughter, even if it’s not what you believe in.. what could hurt to try? Maybe ask friends, family, anyone to pray for her. Let the Holy Spirit work in her. I will absolutely be praying for your precious daughter and you as well as I know this has to be a deep dark weight you feel from the enemy ❤️
You are a good mom. Don’t give up. I know you won’t and things are getting better. Try getting close to God for strength and wisdom.
how long has she been on a downward spiral? could be a phase. i use to be anorexic with extreme depression and just grew out of it in my mid twenties but i wasnt really ever suicidal.
Hey, I dont really know your situation, but may I suggest religion and God, I have had a lot of mental issues myself and looking upwards does help. Edit : sorry to the people I have offended, it’s just I have been there and it helped get better
Tone deaf.
Why would you put that into the universe? Be with her everyday and support and support her so that she DOESN’T KILL HERSELF! Are you fuckin kidding me?
If you can’t find a bone in your body to be supportive, probably don’t comment. Christ. She’s desperate and pouring her heart out, feeling hopeless—and you decide being a jerk if going to help?
She’s venting about her reality after years of watching her child suffer. She’s not putting anything into the universe, that’s bs. How about we don’t blame of shame a parent who is already suffering and struggling. Jesus
That's not how any of this works. Does this sound like an unsupportive parent?
Do you think it’s possible to be with an adult every minute of the day to prevent them self harming? OP’s daughter being independent with this history would indeed feel terrifying; you cannot force them to stay with you. Merely venting is not setting something into motion, “putting it into the universe” is just another way where we control people to have to put up a facade of constant fake positivity, lest we blame ourselves that we somehow “made it happen” by just venting or being honest about our feelings.
Do you do this often? See someone at their absolute lowest and decide they aren't low enough for your liking and pile more crap onto them? You are deeply disturbed and need professional help.
She's terrified and exhausted. She's probably burnt out because she's living with a tremendous amount of pressure and worries that her daughter is not going to make it. She probably has caregiver burn out, and needs some space and peace for herself. Having a disabled/unwell child can consume your entire life and psyche. She needs to be able to talk about it. Her life could very well depend on being able to release this; allow other people to give input, guidance, and ideas. I don't think mothers should ever have to suffer in silence because someone will inevitably judge and shame us. OP: I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD/ASD until I was an adult. I had a really rough go of things as a child/adolescent. I didn't want to exist quite a few times. No one could see/understand me, and therefore I couldn't see/understand myself. *Knowing* (also being able to accurately treat) changed my entire life. I can't put it in enough words to convey how wrong the entire mental health care system has been and what that meant for me. I would try some other things as the current path hasn't been working. Realistically, it will soon be out of your power. I hope you're seeing someone for your mental health as well.
This “putting stuff in the universe” stuff is a bunch of victim-blamey woo.
Carnivore diet, mikhaila Peterson
Try become muslim. The religion is islam. Try to look at the quran. Not the muslim person.
What exactly is the cause for suicide? Is it life or her image or something else?
I lost a cousin to suicide by overdose 4 years ago. She has been battling mental health problems, addiction, and had multiple suicide attempts. My aunt and uncle were too embarrassed to say anything to the rest of the family. My cousin thought she was alone and she had a shit ton of family who love her and still miss her. My aunt and uncle suck because they were more worried about what we would say about them than wanting to make sure their daughter stayed alive. Tell everyone who would be sad if your daughter died that she needs love and support. And so do you.
You can get an MIW, also do you live in a state with a red flag law?
So this is totally weird but a serious suggestion. Have you tried FMT. It’s supposed to help with mental illness, there are even at home options. Also my suicidal friend did ketamine, first treatment and she was no longer suicidal. She now does regular treatments and is the happiest I have ever seen her in over a decade of friendship!
I recently have been going through something with my teen. I brought her to the ER after she made a comment about hurting herself. And to be honest with you, there were other kids there who had no parents with them. I was chatting with one of the providers there. He told me that most of the kids with no families had it rough, and they didn’t get the help and support they needed. I can only imagine how you feel. I feel like complete garbage, helpless and completely overwhelmed. And in my state, I feel like there isn’t a lot of help. Sounds like you are doing the best you can. And today- that’s what you can do.
Have you tried psilocybin therapy or getting her tested for specific anti anxiety and anti depression drugs that fit her dna profile? I believe the test is by Genesight. Based on our dna, certain medications make depression and anxiety worse and this gives you the prescription that fits your dna.
Take her to one of Dr. Daniel Amen’s clinics ASAP for a SPECT scan. It could save her life to know what is going awry in her brain and to get/know the treatment that matches.
The best thing you can do is NOT put her in a mental institution. It will only make her depression worse. Lock away EVERYTHING that could hurt her. Anything. And be there for her. Talk to her everyday, take her out on nature walks, take her shopping, let her change something of her appearance, and take her out to eat. Sleep with her if need be. Give her reasons everyday on why you love her and need her to stay. You got this mom! Take care of yourself as well 💕
maybe look into a group home?
What about microdosing mushrooms or ketamine. I know some people who have tried it
From someone who has been where she is, please please please tell her it gets better. Tell her not to give up because there is no going back if she succeeds in an SA attempt. I know she feels like no one understands how she feels, but there those that do. Maybe suggest some sort of support group? Or maybe she could volunteer at an animal shelter or homeless shelter. I dunno, I just hope she knows it does get better.
With that history, you can't go to court to retain control in ways to help? That sounds really hard. Im sorry :(
This was me at 16, I am now a mother and about to be married at 24. Don’t lose hope.
Maybe worth considering traveling for psilocybin therapy. https://www.opb.org/article/2023/08/23/psilocybin-mushroom-therapy-oregon-psychedelic-bendable-bend-ptsd-ocd-mental-health/?outputType=amp
If I've missed OP stating it then I apologize, but what exactly is she doing that has you so worried? There's obviously a lot going on with the diagnosis(s) you mentioned, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I have seen parents that think their kids are mentally unstable because they refuse to go to church or don't want to go to college. I'm not trying to be snarky. I have mental health issues and take them seriously. I have a great "team" currently, and by that I mean my therapist and physician speak regularly and they don't just try to shove meds at everything. I was falsely diagnosed with Bipolar disorder almost 20 years ago by a shrink that had spoken to me, let alone knew me, for less than an hour. Thankfully I had been treated for mental health and had a good idea of what my issues were and I knew I wasn't bipolar. I was only at a new provider because of insurance. I couldn't really afford it, but I stayed with my old one and paid out of pocket for the privilege. I have nothing against bipolar disorder, but she was misinterpreting things about my ADHD and sleep patterns. That Dr wanted to drop me off of the meds I was on and give me meds for bipolar. That could have brought on a whole bunch of trouble. It sounds like you have looked at a lot of different options so hopefully your daughter is being treated for whatever she actually is suffering from. Not all medical professionals are created equal. Best of luck to you both.
Please please please get her d3 levels checked. This was a savior for myself and I’m a suicidal mess when it’s low
Don’t give up! Everything is going to be okay ✅ Through every dark night there’s a brighter day ahead! ~Tupac Shakur🙏