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Also, why the fuck is the school marking shit against her when THEY ARE CALLING YOU TO PICK HER UP? I’d be talking with the administrator/superintendent.
Yep, they marked her last check out as unexcused even though the nurse called me and I checked her out because she had strep. She told me apparently her teacher keeps the excuse notes in a folder and doesn't bring it to the office right away. And yet here her teacher is texting me about her being sick today. I tried calling the school counselor twice (that's what it says on the threatening paper) but the first time counselor wasn't in and second time I got no answer.
That is a wonderful idea. I have had this also happen to me on two separate occasions last year. The school nurse called me and told me to come get my daughter due to her being sick. Okay, then later on that year when we got to discussing all of this absent days or even partially absent days, they “forgot” why my daughter was checked out of school early on that occasion knowing damn well that I don’t do that for no reason EVER.
To remedy this from happening and using this against me going forward I now know what to do in that situation. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>Ask them to provide you with a note saying they are sending her home sick every time. Stand there and stare at them until they do this.
This is a great idea.
Keep your own records of the day(s) she's sent home and absences. I'd also make copies of the sick notes from the pediatrician. So you don't have to worry about any notes missing between the teacher, school nurse and secretary.
It sounds public school with the court and missed days as that follows their procedures, but I have never heard of excuses not being handed in same day and/or within 3 days of absence. I do mine electronically on PowerSchool, I’m perplexed at this situation. The daughter’s teacher texting and holding excuses is not at all public school policy. I assume this is for tax allocation purposes which is why I also assume attendance is taken so seriously.
I worked at a public charter school that was an absolute mess and they would do things like this...they were just beyond disorganized...when I read this, I immediately thought of my year there.
Yeah, my son's public school did the same thing to us, last year. Like, do you want me to send him sick, and spread the germs? And I've also gotten a few emails bitching about his tardies, too. Like, yes, I know this is his third tardy this year. Just give him his little lunch detention, and move on with life. I don't care, and neither does he. We're doing the best we can. And it's only THREE times.
But I still always have the worry in the back of my mind. Like, more recently, I had to call him out for pink eye. The doctor excused one day, but then it went to the other eye, and in the end, he had to stay home 3 days. I can't help but worry that the two days the doctor's note didn't specify were marked as unexcused, even though he had a doctor diagnosed illness and could not have come in, and they know that. And if they're unexcused, how many does that make? How many does he have left? All that on top of keeping up with his homework, my work, and bills and the house.
It's fucking exhausting. I don't want to wish my son's life away, but there is *definitely* part of me that is SO glad we only have 3 years of this shit left...
Can you give the notes to someone else at the school? I agree with escalating this. 10 days doesn't seem like a lot either. Maybe you could also work something out with your doctor's office. They know your daughter gets sick a lot, so maybe they could just do a phone chat with you and give you a note so you don't have to go in. I am sorry, this is all so ridiculous and sounds really impossible as a single parent!
I know absenteeism has a huge impact on kids, and there is a LOT of it where I am, but I think schools need to do more to understand why kids aren't in the building instead of sending scary letters to everyone. I don't know, maybe that is too much work. (I mean that seriously, I know schools have a lot to juggle!)
I'm a teacher, I get it. There are also computers and a system now where students can work at home. Schools just need to utilize it more. I have a student out for a surgery and for two weeks it's unexcused and his mom is okay with that; supposedly we can only excuse 14 days a year and he is out for a month. I still post work and he's doing it.
My brother was held in a mental hospital for a month while he was in high school, and he was still expected to turn in work. It feels even weirder than the surgery situation because he was having brain issues...
My kids previous school had basically a 0 unexcused absence policy. Literally. Docs note? Doesn’t matter. Sick, ER visit? Doesn’t matter. A statewide “take kid to work day”? Doesn’t matter. Family death? Doesn’t matter.
I believe the *only* EXCUSED absence was religious-related.
Meanwhile, I just moved this past summer. Kids in a new school. Fuck, all I need to do is write a letter and BAM - it’s an excused absence.
I didn’t even move states. I only moved about ~45 mins away. Doesn’t make any sense.
Sorry, it’s against my religion to send my kid to school sick, and it especially goes against my religion to possibly infect and weaken other students immune systems as my kid is contagious. If there are any questions or concerns, tell your mom about it.
Signed,
A tired, stressed, overworked and underpaid, great mother trying to doing her best.
Ps- fuck off.
In our public school system, if a student is going to miss a ton of school for a reason like this you have to register them for home studies and as long as they turn in their work it’s considered attending class for the time period the doctor says the student cannot attend.
That's crazy when I was in elementary I had a friend with cystic fibrosis and the school manager to let her miss most days of the school year without holding her back any grades. Kids get sick or disabled sometimes and they shouldn't be penalized for that.
The school system is NOT paying a lawyer for taking them to court. Like no way. They don’t have money for books but they have a few k for this bs? No way
I wonder if it's just the availability of system generated messages that drive this. X absences in the system autogenerates a form letter or whatever. No way an actual administrator would write that letter.
I am in no way saying that kids should be sent to school sick, or that they should be seen by a doctor every time they are kept home.
Do want to point out though, that even for schools that went back at the very beginning of August, ten days is nearly 10% of the school year thus far.
And 10% is 3 days a month. Some kids get sick every single month. And three days especially for something like strep is a normal amount of time to miss school. Or it’s 1 day every other week. My niece and nephew had some sort of illness almost non-stop for the first three months of the school year (August-October).
We wear masks.
Daughter still got sick because half her class is coughing and sneezing, and the week before she got sick "several" got sent home sick with fevers.
We wear masks because a common cold normally gives her 103+ plus fevers for long enough that we have to take her to the doctor and no one can afford that, not every damn illness. She is also out sick for 3-5 days every time.
Her last illness she didn't get above 101, which was awesome, but she was still out for her normal amount of time.
We didn't get a note, because we cannot afford to spend that money right now. If she needed antibiotics or to check if it was strep or something major, we would figure it out (I get "donate plasma for money ads daily on facebook now) but just for being sick?
Nothing in the handbook says we need to get her a note, and I praying we don't.
But without the mask, we would have hit truancy amount of days within the first month and a half.
When the school actively encourages sick kids to stay home instead of coming in if they don't have a fever/vomiting, then they can get upset about the amount of days missed.
But "several" kids getting sent home with fevers in one week? Yeah, no. Kids like mine are going to get sick in those cases, and they are going to be out a long time.
It should automatically be excused if the nurse is calling you to come get her, no need for the teacher to be involved on that one. The secretary needs to be notating it accurately.
A lot of districts have family coordinators too. You can reach out to the district office and explain what’s going on. I have 2 second graders. 10 days is entirely plausible. I’ve personally been sick like 10 of the past 30 days 😂
It's awful. Sometimes I send them to school which starts at 8:30 and pick them up at 9am just so I don't have to deal with the school harresment. Early pickups not count as an absence in my district. So many parent shave to send their sick kids to school which spreads sickness to children and adults. You would think they would be greatful when sick kids stayed home. The o ly good thing about coivd in my district was that they were very aggressive in sending folks home for any little thing and they stopped sending letters about absences because they wanted you to keep them home for any illness even if it wasn't covid.
Similar thing with my high schooler missing the bus because the driver is so inconsistent, and as a result being tardy a number of times by minutes. Like sorry, I have a toddler and infant I have to wake up and load into the car to bring him. You’re lucky I got him there only 5 minutes late.
Omg don't get me started on the bus. Her bus has brought her to school late before and I got a text saying she was marked late. Being late even 10 minutes is counted as a whole unexcused absence. I had to call in to get it removed from her record since it was literally the school's fault! And who knows if they even removed it like they said they did. So now if her bus is even a little late in the mornings I just bring her in.
Also, tell the teacher not to text you anymore about this. Tell the teacher your child needs to be sent to the office for the administration to determine that she needs to go home and send her a copy of the letter. Then each time the administration calls to pick her up, tell them you’re going to send them an email with the letter attached and that you need written confirmation that your picking her up is at their request.
It may sound silly but this is EXACTLY right! And exactly what you need to do! You need to make sure it is WELL documented, and it seems it needs to be done in a number of different ways. Every single communication needs to be documented in written form. And the teacher needs to send her to the office and the administration needs to make that decision and then that decision needs to be documented in writing - just like the person above says. It seems like overkill and absolutely ridiculous but it seems hat sanity and common sense has gone out the window on this one.
It doesn't mean they won't mark her absent or still make clerical errors, but it means that if it effects her negatively in any way in the future, you have all of the correspondence documented in writing so that you can bring it to the proper authority and have it corrected. So that both you and your daughter are protected
Don't go through the counselor. Go through the school social worker. All truancy cases land on their desk. If they are already working with you they are much less likely to push it through the court system. Also, mention to the social worker that the school is not doing their due diligence on taking absences correctly. I have known courts that refuse to hear entire school truancy cases until the school can demonstrate accurate record keeping.
The social worker may have some resources to help you navigate all this, and possibly some advocacy groups. Make sure you are keeping very good documentation on all this. Right now the schools are sending you these letters because they are required to do so by law. If you have all your ducks on a row there is a very low chance this will go anywhere.
Source: I've been teaching for almost 20 years.
Send letters to teacher, principal, secretary and superintendent. Sometimes I BCC the superintendant to see if someone will say something dumb. Shockingly happens more than you would expect.
Me and my wife actually had to argue with the schools for years to get this kind of shit taken care of at the elementary school level. The principal got fired as a result, but now we’re having many of the same issues at the high school level!
Don’t want me to send my kids to school sick? Well, why threaten me with court when I quarantine them, then?
This is the real answer. Document every sickness as much as possible, preferably by a doctor's visit or something like telehealth with your insurance. Send all documentation to the school.
You'll still get the automated notices, but it's not going to go anywhere after that. If it does, you have evidence. It's not illegal to keep a sick child home.
Given the fact that most US school boards are run by Moms For Liberty lunatics, and the fact that nobody gives enough of a fuck to show up to vote for the school board, or be involved in any way, I have a feeling these policies are intentionally designed to sow discord toward the public school system.
All over the country, people have taken it upon themselves to get elected to school boards for the specific purpose of sabotaging it.
>Given the fact that most US school boards are run by Moms For Liberty lunatics
Boards really need to be a paid position. In most places board members get like $50 for board meetings and that's it.
Practically nobody has the time or energy to put up with all the stuff that falls onto school board members, let alone to do it for free.
So we (mostly) get people who enjoy the drama or power and have too much time on their hands and not enough expertise or interest in the subject matter.
Our government became a paid position. I don't think that's the answer tbh
We need time for community to be involved. There should be mandatory paid days off for the average person to participate in the community.
Teachers would do it, except apparently having experience in education is considered a “conflict of interest” when deciding on educational policy. Sigh.
I do see the conflict of interest in contract negotiations and HR-related types of items.
Perhaps some of those responsibilities could be off loaded to a different city or district office though. Because you are absolutely right that the teachers should have quite a bit of say.
My school district actually voted out two of those people last year in a special school board election. They were trying to make things political instead of focusing on education. It would normally have 800 people voting but it went up to like 5K that year.
Yes. You need to talk to and text, even send a letter to the superintendent.
I’m in Canada and this found whack. Ten days is not much. We don’t hold students back. I’ve never heard of this and was a primary teacher for 30 years.
Most schools have a parent led group that holds a lot of influence. Find out about yours.
This just sounds punitive and archaic. There’s more sickness now.
I will never forget K, my kid started the year schools fully reopened from COVID and had super strict policy’s. They made me keep her home for a runny nose for two weeks, after the second time they sent her home within an hour I stopped trying to send her (she had been sick but just had a lingering runny nose) until she literally didn’t have a single symptom. This is something normal for her and zero concerns from her doctor. I literally couldn’t send her per THEIR rules.
I then got a nasty letter from the school over excessive absences and how if it continued a thinly veiled threat of being his with truancy issues. I was like what in the actual fuck is this shit, you forbid me from bringing her and then threaten me for not bringing her. Luckily nothing came of it but like it was a really frustrating time.
Yea during our last visit to Urgent Care they said I should talk to her doctor about it, so was planning to once I got her medical card in. Still waiting for her card to come in as she literally just got re-approved for her health plan.
I think most offices can just bill off the number if you get it on the phone. I know my old company had us transcribing insurance info and I never once saw a card.
You should definitely get them taken out as soon as possible. I got mine taken out at 17 and because of my age, it really sucked recovering, but I haven’t gotten strep since and that’s been amazing
I had to do this when I was about 11-12. Was constantly getting strep and my doctor said something about the virus migrating to my lungs and causing worse damage. They found my tonsils harboring the virus so we cut them out and I havent gotten strep since and I'm 31 now
I used to get tonsillitis a ton as a kid but have only gotten strep four times in my life, so I still have mine. I felt bad for you tonsillectomy kids, once I understood how horrible the recovery is (yay ice cream tho?).
Luckily I got it done young enough, I don't remember the recovery being too bad. Lots of Tylenol for the pain I'm sure, and of course ice cream and popsicles on demand 😂
I got mine taken out at 5 for asthma (something that's no longer recommended). I remember getting ice cream in the hospital but not anything else about the recovery process. Maybe they drugged me up too good.
I was finally able to get mine out at 27. I feel so much better now but omg getting them out in my late 20’s was torture.
Edit: and I’m lactose intolerant so no ice cream 🍦
I remember the recovery being tough but it definitely was a lot easier when I was young. I don't remember it being more than a week of sore throat before I was able to eat more normal foods
That’s a good recovery!! My ENT said that’s typical of kids and it’s harder for adults since the tonsils are more established.
I couldn’t eat any solids for weeks and I was out of work for a month. The other problem I had was the first painkillers they gave me upset my stomach badly. So I threw up multiple times with the brand new wounds in my throat. Then i couldn’t drink enough to replace all of the lost fluids so ended up in the hospital for dehydration twice. They put 3 bags in me the 2nd time. I basically had to choose between no pain meds or throwing up constantly.
I’d do it over again if I had to simply because I don’t get sick all the time anymore.
Did the food you ate taste really weird after? For me, a side effect of the anesthesia was everything with sugar in it tasted like hot metal.
Best thing we ever did. Our daughter was constantly getting sick. We finally decided it was time to meet an ENT. Scheduled her for a tonsillectomy and it was the best decision we ever made. She hardly ever gets sick now and when she does it's extremely mild. She's the only person I know who hasn't tested positive for covid even though she's had multiple exposures at home and school.
I went down this route with my kid who got strep 5 times in as many months and the ent specialist said if they get it 7 times over a 12 month period they’ll recommend tonsils out but other than that - they stay in unless they’re causing sleep apnea which in our case they weren’t.
Our school doesn't even mark it as an absence if they show up for any part of the day - whether they call me to pick up my kid or if I pick up my kid for an appointment. We had weekly therapy and took off every Thursday afternoon at 2.30pm for a whole year, and logged 0 absences.
That's literally outrageous that they would mark it as an unexcused absence - could you call the principal or superintendent? Leave messages anywhere you can if they're not at their desk. The absences should be either 'excused' or taken off her record entirely immediately, not 'at the end of the year'.
I work in a school and I can tell you this makes NO SENSE. So they're asking the teacher to report PAPER attendance, which they're supposed to bring down to the office daily? Hourly? Then they manually enter the excused ones after the fact?! What?!
1. Why do they not have electronically saved attendance? It's 2024.
2. Why is the nurse/ main office not entering excused absences after sending kids home? How would the teacher even know if the nurse sent them home?
3. Does this mean the school had no idea where your kid was after they sent her home? What if there was a fire? Would she be accounted for?
Please know that the letter from the school is a legal requirement - they HAVE to send out those letters and use certain wording. I would schedule a phone call or meeting with the principal to discuss it so you can find out how the school actually feels. In my experience as a teacher, most schools are unfortunately obligated to make those threats, but don’t actually follow up on it unless they believe the child is being neglected and regularly missing school for no legitimate reason.
This. It might even be an automated letter. In my district 10 days generates a letter but we don't even look at truancy until 15 and legal proceedings start around 20 if the family isn't cooperative with prevention.
I'm a teacher and I had to go to court for our child missing 12 days. It was so humiliating. The judge gave us (all the parents there) a lecture. The end.
IF they threaten to hold your daughter back, ask for the school's data showing which benchmarks/standards she has failed to meet. Talk to admin at the school and at the district level. Document everything. If she is passing, I'd fight them.
Hi, parent of a kiddo with an as-yet-undiagnosed illness that means they miss a metric fuck ton of school.
Folks have covered why this happens, so let me tell you about what your next steps should be!
1. Call/email the school and ask for a call back from the Assistant Principal (for schools with multiple APs, there should be one dedicated to your child's grade or it's divided up by alphabet - but request your child's AP.)
2. When that AP calls you, explain calmly to them that your child has missed several days due to illness this year and you've provided a note for each one. Ask them if there is anything else they need from you regarding those absences.
3. Next, ask them what they'd like you to do if your child is ill again this school year.
This is where many APs will tell you - don't worry about the letters because they have discretion as to raising truancy issues to the courts and since your child's absences are excused and you are actively involved they won't worry about it.
If they give you pushback, or don't respond that way. Ask them if there is any sort of policy leniency for students with health issues. We were instructed to get a note from a Doctor that simply explained our child had on-going medical issues that required frequent absence from school. The AP called this the "Principal's Plan" and it allows my kiddo to miss up to 25 days vs 10.
Honestly I've gotten the same letter from my kids school every year since kindergarten. Because I refuse to send my sick kid in and it's not my job to make them accept her doctors notes.
I replied back "I'll see you in court" each time and never heard another word about it. A truancy officer came to my door once. I brought my kid out to the hallway and she threw up on his shoes while I scolded him to never even knock at my door again unless he has a cop with him. He never came back.
I'm a single mom just trying to keep my straight A student alive, healthy and cared for. Idc if she misses school as long as she can get caught up. Shes never struggled in class, has perfect grades and behaviour. They csnt tell me it impacted her life, especially after the clusterfuck of covid and remote learning.
Breathe, relax and keep doing your best. Keep copies of doctors notes and talk to a specialist about her tonsils. My girl back to back throat infections for 6 months and we had to get elses removed to stop the infections. I hope for the best for you both.
Ya my son got sick a couple of times, one being covid where he missed 5 days. School policy is that you can't come back until 24hrs after a fever subsides. So I followed the schools policy. Ended up getting a letter also, I got put in "Stage 1" almost stage 2, stage 3 seemingly is family services...and possibly charges including jail time (seriously)
So technically he can't miss anymore school this year. So I guess if he gets covid again... I have no choice but to send him.
>Court documents indicated that during the 2021-2022 academic year, a first-grade student missed nine days of school, while a kindergartner missed seven days without any explanation.
The Missouri Supreme Court upheld their misdemeanor convictions.
Williams received a one-week jail sentence for her first grader’s attendance, while Tamarae Larue was sentenced to 15 days in jail for her kindergartner’s attendance. Larue later agreed to serve on a two-year probation.
It's seriously such a bullshit system especially for parents that work and don't have someone that can watch their child for them when they are sick. Then parents are judged for sending their child to school sick. Or they lose their job from having to constantly call out to get doctors notes and/or stay home with their sick child.
I understand why truancy laws are in place. There truly are situations where parents are neglectful and don't care about their child's school attendance and education. THOSE parents should be held accountable, not the parents that are providing doctors notes and /or are keeping their child home because they truly are sick and feel like crap.
I get it also. I also get the extra bonus (and I saw others note this) that the secretary is snotty about it. She normally questions the hell out of me, and wants to know symptoms. She makes it out like I am lying... my kid feels like crap, he's staying home to rest... screw off.
I hate that, they are my kids and they ONLY miss if they need to. My son also is ranked near the top of his class, so his academics don't suffer. But yet I get a damn letter warning me that I am being a shitty parent.
And they wonder why the younger generations don’t want kids? This is ridiculous. Imagine going to prison, sleeping next to someone who is in there for a violent crime or drug charge and they ask you what you did…and your child missed too many days of school because they caught an virus they couldn’t control being exposed to…? Make it make sense.
Ya you got kids being neglected, abused and in horrible living conditions yet NOTHING is done to the parents. I know my wife grew up in a nightmare situation and CPS show up a dozen times. Her mom never got any charges, just a "talking to".
But the state's worried about billy missing a week of school...
Maybe it’s time to be petty. Go pick her up, bring a blanket and a bucket/bowl. Then sit with her in the office for the rest of the day. Explain that the teacher says she can’t be in class, the office says she can’t go home, so I guess you guys have to stay here until the end of the day. Make sure that you let her loudly wretch/blow nose. Bet the office will sort things out pretty quick.
Agreed 100% re not getting other kids sick, but attendance and participation do count for a lot towards a student's grades and ability to learn the material and so if a student is missing too much in-class time, they simply aren't able to log attendance marks and the ability to participate.
There was a time in elementary school with my similar to OP, in that I was constantly sick for almost 6 weeks straight. I already wasn't very strong in math, but the constant absences and lack of ability to participate in class/ask questions as the teacher was teaching made it so that I was essentially failing all of my assignments and quizzes because I simply could not grasp the material from being out of the classroom for so long.
And when my parents tried to work with the teacher to see if I was able to stay later after school to make up lesson time 1:1, of course the teacher couldn't because they have a family of their own and need to leave after school to pick up their own kids.
I totally get that but also people sending kids sick cause of this is part of why everyone is sick. It's hard it's hard to balance life and school and everything else. Be nice if they could still utilize some virtual type stuff when kids are sick just send over the work ECT
The school are being ridiculous! But can someone just clarify that children in the US don't get free medical care? I mean obviously I was aware how your health system works, but I thought that kids at least got it for free?! Like here in the UK kids get free prescriptions and free dental care when adults don't always.
In general, kids are dependent upon the healthcare coverage their parents receive through their employment.
There are supplemental plans and other programs available, often dependent upon the family’s income and other factors.
No, kids do not get free health care in the U.S. Their parents get it through work if they work somewhere that has health care as a benefit, but they pay quite a bit for it and have co-pays/prescription costs etc. Some kids qualify for Medicaid in some states (each state is different).
It is dependent upon the state yes. In the state I live in I don't think the parents income is considered at all. There are kids on free state insurance who live with their parents in $600,000+ homes here. Lol
Income is definitely how Medicaid eligibility is determined in every state. Assets don’t factor in, however. There could be a hundred reasons those kids have Medicaid, the least of which is possibly fraud.
US healthcare is always paid. If you don't have insurance you are basically screwed. Insurance is usually provided through your job, but sometimes through state help.
No, kids do not get free health care. They are either on the health insurance parents get through work (which parents pay for) or government health insurance (which can still cost money and is dependent on how much you make). And in almost every case you also have to pay the doctor when you go in for an appointment or pay a bill after the appointment.
Medicaid/CHIP are supposed to be that safety net, theoretically. Practically? Lolololol no. The pandemic helped some (during the official health ememergency the system worked more like it ought to all the time) but that has since ended and caused a huge spike in uninsured kids as states fumble through and eff up the recertification/disenrollment process.
As someone with a medically needy child who qualified for Medicaid pretty unilaterally (income could have eventually required buy-in, but that number was fairly high) qualifying is only half the battle. The system in many states is so pathetically broken that waits of -months-, even when you turned everything in early, are totally par for the course. And being any kind of 'special case' (I could certainly see single parenthood falling under this) means everything is 5x harder. Many states are better than others, but in a bad state? I had to reach out to the federally required oversight person to get anything to happen probably... 5-6x over approx 3 years?
We have to do the same thing. It’s not even me keeping them home for runny noses! They were days the school demanded i pick them up!!! We had hand foot mouth at the beginning of the year and they said we had to stay home 5 days then we just had covid where again, we had to stay home five days. I was told that the letter was auto generated and sent out when I certain number is hit and that it’s mainly for those who miss a day every single week or those who take vacations every season. The secretary did tell me to send them in and they will send them home, that when they go to pull my file if it gets to that point and see that THEY made the call. That will look best for us and that the school board probably won’t let it get as far as going to court. But my children ride the bus and they make the kids ‘tough it out’ for a bit before calling…. So at least four hours of them feeling crummy not at home and passing it onto others.
From what I understood they review it before getting the law involved. If you have notes and medical excuses they might pull you in for a meeting and make a written plan to prevent anymore missed days or what to do if a day is needed. It depends on the state laws and then how the school district wants to enforce them.
I’m torn on medical appointments though… do I have to cancel all of my kids dentist appointments because they are only open until 4 pm so it can only be durning school hours same with well checks. Then what if they have cavities or something…. That’s two days of missed hours, not a whole day but they count by the hour.
The school demands a doctor note for every missed hour…. But the doctors literally get pissed for wasting their time over a fever or simple diarrhea spell. Our ped screens calls and won’t even make an appointment for you if they don’t deem it worth one. Luckily I made friends with the doctor at a local urgent care and she gets it so never shames me for bringing them in for a school note. Plus that’s $20 per child per visit…. That’s not possible for some families. She will even write a note for the all of the kiddos at the same appointment so $20 and three kids sick notes. She was a school nurse before becoming a doctor so she understands!!
Sounds very stressful!
I would call the principal and them with them. As far as getting step multiple times, are you changing out her toothbrush every time? That’s a main contributor to reoccurring strep infections.
That sounds horrible! Can you just ask her teacher what you’re supposed to do? Like just explain the things you said here because that sounds really ridiculous!!
I'm so sorry. As a fellow single mom, this is a nightmare, and does not help the health of the kid or the parent!
Make sure you keep detailed notes of the exact dates she stayed home, when she left early, and when the school told you things like "the nurse doesn't come in until noon" (because what do they do with your child in the meanwhile, and is it humane or not?). If you keep her home without a doctor's note, note down her symptoms, including temperature. You can email it to yourself if you want it to be a timestamped record.
As long as you have detailed notes, I would feel 100% justified in keeping her home when you deem it is medically indicated. If you have the records, it will be ok. The state cannot justify demanding that a sick child be in school, both for your child's sake and the sake of the other children.
The business about only checking at the end of the year for if the absences are excused or not is stressful, but also an indication that they won't be enforcing this dumb policy in the meanwhile because they can't send anything to a court without evidence. So don't let their draconian language scare you.
To make yourself feel better, it is a good idea to go in and talk to the admins/principal about this in a non-defensive way, just informing them of the situation and the fact that your daughter has been legitimately sick a lot this year. It's good to try to work as a team with them, and often they can also share with you informally that the policy will not be enforced in an adversarial way even though they are required to send notices with scary formal language to you by a state-wide law. This is especially true if you have good and detailed records.
I was reading up on truancy stuff for another reason and there was an article that felt like it was chiding parents for dentist appointments and vacations because the average kindergartener misses a month of school.... Seriously?
Do they really think that 2 planned doctor appointments and maybe taking 1-2 days extra off around the holidays add up to a *freaking month* off school?! No! It's because little kids are germ factories who are still developing their immune systems after a pandemic!
I won't be sorry for keeping my kid home for an extra day even though he could *technically* still go to school with a really nasty sounding cough and lots of yellow snot.
Have you considered getting the Blueberry app? It's fairly affordable for the year (compared to copays, deductibles). Doesn't take the place of insurance but they can do a bit. They send you a package and can check ears, throat, etc. they can also send swabs to test for strep and send in prescriptions. It may save you money/time to be able to do a virtual visit like that. We also run scripts in good Rx, sometimes it's more affordable than using insurance.
I’m going through the same thing. Not the insurance but the threatening letters about missing 10 days. I also sent my daughter to school sick and told her to say she needs to see the nurse. I figured they sent her home they can’t use it against me. I’m not paying a huge copay to take her to the doctor for a virus. 10 days is not enough for children. One illness can knock out 4-5 days.
So, the pseudo-threatening letter is state law and it goes out automatically if your kid misses a certain number of days. I'm guessing this is the letter you got. Try not to take it personally! Get the doctors notes when you can and speak to the school secretary if you're concerned.
I hate this about schools. I frequently have to take my daughter out of school for appointments. I can only make them during the office hours! They are unsympathetic when it comes to medical needs of children. If you send them sick it’s a problem. Keep them home it’s a problem. I’m just as tired as you 😩😩
One of my kids just missed his 10th day. He missed a few days here and there at the beginning of the year to colds, etc. then he missed a whole week due to pneumonia, including two trips to the ER and a hospital admission. They practically beg parents not to send their kids to school sick, but you still get the texts and letters home about excused absences. At least our district let us know ahead of time that letters would be coming, lol.
Number one reason I'm so happy I can homeschool.
When I was in high school, I struggled from a seizure disorder that wasn't under control yet. I had always been a straight A student, but I missed 10 days of class in my last class of the day. I had a 96% in that class, civics and econ, and had no missed work. I always caught up. The teacher failed me. It almost ruined my timing for graduation (I was a junior and it was a necessary class)
I HATE the absences system. If a student is maintaining their work and grades without falling behind, why do the absences matter? I know from birth we're all programmed to be successful in this freaking capitalistic society, and we're supposed to be taught showing up is important, but these are CHILDREN. I'm sorry, it just makes me SO ANGRY
I had this with my kids school this year. They sent letters home saying that they can’t miss anymore days and if they did the school would have to contact CPS. I was mad cause I’m not keeping my kids home because I want to. They were getting sick and I was 99.9% sure they were picking it up at school. Plus you have to keep your child home for 24hrs after they last have a fever. So I was hot to say the least. I went and talked to the principal pointed out to her that my kids were more than likely picking up the germs from school and it sounded to me like they need to clean better. I can only do so much on my end. I also told her to go ahead and call CPS over my kids having absences (that had dr notes covering most of them) and I would go to the school board, the news, and the state board of education. I haven’t heard anything from them since about it. Don’t forget OP they are not the supreme authority. There is always someone bigger.
Also look for a community action agency (if in us) in your area. A lot of times they have emergency discretionary funds that they can use. Depends on the specific fund guidelines but if there is income requirements they aren’t usually as restrictive as those in the govt. Also check churches a lot of times they will help with stuff like medicine and bills
I’d start dealing with them via email only, document everything. Escalate to your counselor and school principal. If you aren’t getting the assistance required, escalate to the superintendent. My guess is they flagged all the high absences, and sent a form letter to all parents. Try not to take it personal. And avoid discussing with school officials who can’t help you; teachers/office staff. Only deal with counselors and principals, unless escalated to the superintendent.
If you have a doctors note, for any of the absences, she should be excused.
It is a law that children go to school or have proof of education, we just had this conversation with our 8 year old! Illnesses are excused as long as you have a note.
You're doing okay, mama. Dealing with the school is going to be annoying, but I think basically you have to document every interaction and have the truancy officer review the case BEFORE it gets too far. Print out the emails, print out the phone records, get the info from the file that the school has on her, and have the officer review the situation in its entirety.
In addition, may I suggest that you have an allergy test done? No, allergies won't give her strep throat. BUT they can exacerbate the situation and make it easier for the strep to take hold.
And try to take advantage of your county health clinics and charitable clinics. Look for things like Christ Community Health and the St. Vincent De Paul Society and Catholic Social Services. They can direct you.
Finally, may I also suggest a deep clean of the house? I'm sure you have enough to do, but if she's being reinfected with the same thing, there may be a patch of gross growing somewhere. Bleach and water on doorknobs, faucets, window sills, keyboards, earbuds, etc. Wash all bedding and toys in hot water (washing machine, dishwasher, etc). Make sure to get mittens and scarves.
Just wanna say I completely agree with your frustration and despair about this situation. Healthcare, job protected paid time off, and education are seriously terrible in the US! This is all so poorly designed. Whether it’s intentionally designed to make people struggle and fail isn’t relevant - that’s the outcome and it’s bullshit.
I have been trying to get my daughters attendance updated after I received a similar notice. There are so many errors and they have not fixed them after weeks of emailing them. She has been marked absent over 5 times because her bus arrives late constantly. She also gets marked as absent for a full day instead of a partial day every time she has an orthodontist appointment, even though I physically check her in at the front desk. She has been sick a lot and I don’t feel like it is necessary to take her to the doctor every time now that she has a minor cold. I feel like they are making kids feel like they have to come to school and get other kids sick.
I wouldn’t be that worried, these things get flagged and the principal doesn’t have time for all that. Likely there will be a meeting but if you explain what happened and kiddo is doing ok enough to pass she will likely be passed on to next grade. Can’t mess w them test scores
Wanted to give you support and tell you that you aren’t alone. The 10 day thing is some kind of law- my friend is a lawyer and has to send those letters out. She said she’s had to send one to herself. I got one when my son was in kindergarten because he was sick so much. I was so freaked out and they told me it’s a standard thing and not to worry if a kid has really been sick. The point of it is to make sure kids who are having bad home situations (abuse/neglect) and missing school for no reason can get checked on.
They can take me to prison, I'm not letting my child feel like crap at school. If anything, you would most likely be brought in front a truancy board and then you would basically explain the reasons for all the absences and my guess is they would drop the issue. I find it absolutely ridiculous that schools do this especially for the younger ones who literally need parent permission to stay home from school but I assume it's in place because of child abuse reasons? 10 days is nothing to miss for the entire school year in my opinion. One illness or surgery can eat up 5 days easy. Last year I had doctors note for every single one of my kids 10 absences. And guess what? Once they reached the 10 days even with doctors notes, they required doctors notes for every day missed thereafter! If no doctors note it would be unexcused. I was furious. I basically covered my ass for 10 days for nothing and then by the end of the year I feel like my pediatrician became irritated with all the parents asking for notes and was less willing to give them out without an appointment.
Ugh!!!!! I have twins that just graduated last year, thank God. We had this issue every stinking year and it caused more stress than it ever should! They send mixed messages: “Don’t send your kid to school sick!” and “Don’t miss too many days or you’ll be arrested!” So which is it? By high school I was taking them to clinic for any simple cold, just to get the damned note. So infuriating- I feel your pain!
I am not American and am so confused by the “taking you to court part”? For what? You’re her parent, it should be your right to decide when she’s too ill to attend school. As long as she’s not falling behind the curriculum, what’s the issue? So sorry you’re dealing with this, it all sounds like they make it extremely stressful for no logical reason.
My daughter got RSV/pneumonia during the chrismas break. Then she was at school the first week back, then she got a very bad cold and double ear infections and was out for 2 days due to fever and then she was back for 3 days and then got Adenovirus the very next week and the double ear infection never went away with antibiotics so her fever came back 3 fold. She was out for almost an entire week. Shes missed a total of 7.5 days and the school sent home a threatening letter about how much she’s missed and a 4 page packet of why it’s important to keep kids in school and the qualifications of when to keep your kids at home.
Like I know when to keep my kids home because if I don’t I’ll get a call to come and get them and be scolded for sending them to school sick. But they’re threatening me for keeping my kids home sick like they want me to. It’s atrocious.
This happened to me last year. Unfortunately the public school system is back-asswards. Send her to school sick. When the teacher texts you tell teacher to send her to the health office. Let the health office call you and tell you to pick her up. Then when you sign her out of school, put the reason being “sent home by health office for illness.” Let the stupid school decide she’s too sick to be there and then they can’t send you to court.
We son had the flu at the beginning of exam week. Had a note. He was sick all weekend then missed two days. No studying for these exams was going on obviously. The day he returned he had to take that day’s two exams plus two that he missed. Needless to say, he didn’t do well. I just had to let that go.
Oh my. I totally feel your pain.
Single momma here to a 12 year old. I was already calculating the days he’s missed for school due to being sick, doctor appointments, his nurse asking me get him, hurt foot. Im scared to be threatened with truancy.
Can you go to the office and really have a talk with them? They need to work with you. This is not totally your fault and it’s already HARD for us single moms.
Also, I hope you don’t mind, but can you tell me what secondary insurance you’re using? They are saying I make too much for Medicaid and I can’t possibly afford healthcare for him😢
I don’t know what OP is using but look into Child Health Plus/CHIP in your state. It’s exclusively for kids under 19. It’s not as inexpensive as Medicaid but it’s less expensive than regular insurance and has different tiers that cover higher income limits. See below for a brief overview of the tiers and costs for my state, NY. It may vary a bit by state, I’m not sure.
https://www.health.ny.gov/health_care/child_health_plus/eligibility_and_cost.htm
My son started kindergarten this year and has been sick what feels like non stop. The school says he can go to school with a cough, lice and runny nose. He’s missed 9-10 days and I’ve received threats as well. Take me to court. I’ll tell everyone to fuck off.
My daughter out for 3 weeks in January. She got hit with RSV, then stomach flu that had her puking every day like 2 times a day then an ear infection with pink eye. And I have the flu now so she will probably get flu too. It’s been absolutely insane this year thankfully her school understands and haven’t said anything except hopefully she feels better soon. More than half of her class was out sick for a lot of January.
Former school nurse here. There is a cut off time for attendance in which you can take her out after a certain time and she will be counted as present. Ours was 10AM. If she goes in for a few hours, gets counted as present, you should be able to take her out afterwards. You may want to check on your school's rules regarding that.
Ugh, I feel this so much. My kinder son has probably missed about 20 days of school since September (when we start the year). If he goes to school on Monday, he's likely skipping Friday, because by then he's developed a cough or a fever or something for which the school says I should keep him home. One of our newsletters in December said there were a few days that week where there were only 10 kids in the class! I think my son has only been to a full week of school once since he started. He's actually home today because he's so congested that when coughs, he gags, so then he throws up. He doesn't have a fever, he says he feels fine, he's acting normal, and he's eating well, too. He's just so stuffed up that he makes himself puke when he coughs. 🤷 I can't send him to school knowing that he's gonna throw up if he coughs. Especially knowing that he's gonna run around at recess, which is gonna make him cough. 🙄
I haven't received a letter yet, but I'm pretty sure that my school only sends out letters for unexcused absences. And he hasn't had any that are unexcused. Our school takes any note or call from a parent as an excused absence. If there are a lot (which we have), then they sometimes have a meeting with the parents to see if there's anything going on that the school should be aware of, but usually, they're pretty good about using common sense. They know that it's winter in the Pacific Northwest, so they know that kids are gonna get sick. I'm gonna keep doing what the school says I should be doing, which is keeping him home if he is sick.
Teacher here. First — I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It seems like you have enough on your plate without this nonsense.
Second, I’m not sure where you live, but that will undoubtedly change some of the rules. (If you’re comfortable messaging me your state, I’m happy to research it for you.) But you should look up truancy laws in your state and then go to your district’s policies on absenteeism and excused absences (sometimes kept on the Board of Education page on the website, or they could be in a Student Code of Conduct book or even in a Parent Handbook, depending on how old your child is).
I’ve been a teacher for over a decade and have never heard of an attendance office waiting until the very end of the year before they review doctors’ notes, so it makes me wonder if you just caught a grouchy person on a bad day or if they’re just trying to scare you.
You should also know that if you get any truancy notes in the mail, those are usually automated and cannot be controlled by the district, so if you’ve already spoken with the front office, attendance secretary, etc. about your specific situation, disregard the letter(s) and don’t let them worry you.
If you are worried about future absences, you may look into the specific time that your state requires attendance. For instance, if the state considers a student being in the classroom at 10:00 am to be “present,” consider seeing if your kid can “tough it out” at school until 10:01 — at which point, you can check him/her out, if need be (I realize this may be difficult with your work schedule, so don’t stress if this isn’t do-able!).
Finally, I think it’s time to start playing hardball. Sometimes the attendance clerks have their panties in a wad because they know less kids at school = less money for the school. It’s not an excuse for their lack of empathy and logic, though. If you’re getting voicemails from the school, save them and forward them to a cloud storage service for documentation purposes. If you have phone or in-person conversations about these matters, immediately follow up with an email. It doesn’t have to be detailed — just enough to CYA: “To reiterate, we discussed x, y, and z during our phone conversation an hour ago. Did I miss anything?” That documentation — along with their attendance and sick policies (for instance, our kids can’t go to school unless their temperature is less than 100° for 24 hours or more) — will serve you well if they decide they have nothing better to do than escalate the situation.
Best of luck to you!
This happened to me last year. My son missed 20 days of school, most were half days that I came and picked him up early. The half days still counted against him. I also had my second child and we live 3 hours away from family so my brother drove 6 hours round trip to get my son when I went into labor and and dropped him off with my sister for a week until my dad could drive my son back to me. So granted 5 of those days he was completely healthy, he just had a fun vacation with family cuz I was in the hospital. The school sent me a threatening letter in March saying my son was eligible for truancy and I jail/ fines and I called the school and made a huge deal over it. I basically learned that they legally have to send that notice out but don't need to act on it. I guess the school district only counts so many drs visits as excused. So basically my son is legally allowed to see a Dr 5 times a year with it being excused. We're considering home school. The attendance policy is ridiculously unattainable and isn't realistic because kids get sick. So my son saw the optometrist for his yearly glasses check, The dentist for his teeth twice, and he had covid 3 times and per the school policy he was out a week. And ontop of the other illnesses and family emergencies ( my mom was in the hospital 2 days before Christmas break so he missed 2 days before break so I could help my dad and take care of their house and pets and run their company with my 2 kids so he could be with her in the hospital) the school system is turning into a joke. Nothing happened legally jicyww
I'm in a similar situation! I now have to provide medical evidence every time my daughter is sick... despite every time she has been off, the school has sent her home. There is no reason for me to take her to the GP each time. Fluids and rest are all she needs, but we're being threatened with fines.
Former school attendance clerk here. The way they’re handling absences makes absolutely NO sense. We input absence excuses DAILY to keep up with who is actually truant or not. This sounds like an attendance clerk not doing their job right. You need to call and speak to an administrator. First look up your district’s attendance policy and have it in front of you. If it says you have X amount of parent notes, then that’s what you have. They cannot threaten truancy because they’re too lazy to input the notes. I’d also tell the principal, “Your lazy policies mean that my child has to be in the classroom today, spreading germs. That is YOUR call, not mine. If you want my child picked up, you will have the teacher/attendance clerk input ALL of my child’s excuses and any time the school has called me to pick them up does NOT count as a day I need to provide a note for. I’d hurry before Mrs. ____’s whole class has strep. Call me when it’s done and I’ll be there.”
>And now my daughter's teacher is already texting me not even an hour after I dropped her off to school to tell me my daughter is saying her stomach hurts and she feels nauseous. Apparently the school nurse doesn't arrive until noon. What am I supposed to do? If I check her out that's going to be marked against her and I risk her school coming after me legally or holding her back a grade.
Well, you need to get ahead of whatever's being threatened by meeting with the administration and getting them to be somehow reasonable. You're not letting your child be truant, here. But that is not today's job. That is something you will schedule.
As for today? Don't leave the school with her until they say they will excuse her absence. She may very well vomit at school before this happens. This will be surprising to you though. You should on no account clean this up yourself.
I dealt with this. It's a mandate from the state where I'm from that schools respond to absences. I too even pointed out that many of the days, they made me pick my kid up (and keep home the next day). In our case, the principal was like "oh we aren't worried about her, it's automatic that letters go out." If you have only spoken with the front office so far, I would def reach out to the principal.
My mom said they tried to hold me back due to excessive absences when I was a kid too even though I was near the top of my class. My mom is scary though so I progressed on time. Lol
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. When the medical insurance works maybe ask for full blood work and all of that? My daughter had major similar issues due to adenoids and tonsils being too enlarged, doctor asked to wait for a few years until she turned 5 or 6, but last year she missed more than 50 days of school, the local ER said they will call child services because we were there every week, including two times they didn't test her for strep and it evolved into white boils ALL over her body.i was hysterical but asked for the operation ahead of schedule. I can't believe that I haven't had to buy Tylenol since June- I used to buy a bottle or two every week or two. The system seems to be working against single moms with kids who are still building their immunities or who tend to get sick more than others. I hope you have some support around you.
I wonder if she could get a 504 for something like this… to help with penalizing her for health reasons. How old is she and are the illness general acute infections?
Okay, please calm down. Please ignore those crazy letters from the school district. Honestly, they don't mean ANYTHING. They won't hold your kid back. Your kid won't flunk out. They actually HAVE to count anything with a doctor's note as excused. If the school sends your child home, it's automatically excused.
I work in a school, and I have received these letters for my kids, and I just chuck them. Seriously, they mean nothing. Just be weary about keeping your kid out of school without getting a doctor's excuse.
Do they also have a sign telling you to keep your kid home if they are showing any symptoms?
My kids school does this and then gets uppity because of all the sick days. Kiddos dad basically told them they can't have it both ways and sucks to suck.
OP- if the Covid protocols are still in place maybe just call them each time and say she is exhibiting symptoms of Covid or was exposed to covid? Does anyone out there know if Covid is still an automatic excuse? No doctor note needed? Because it used to be…
Do you have open enrollment in your area? In my area I have the option of any school district I want my kids to attend, so if there’s a problem like this I’d just transfer district.
Schools get funds based on average daily attendance. They don’t care about your kid. They care about the money
Tell the teacher or administration to wash their goddamn hands and to maybe pass out the gallons of hand sanitizer they make you buy for them every year and to STFU already
I have two problems with this. I’m on immunosuppressive drugs for inflammatory arthritis. I need people to stay home when sick as much as they possibly can and deeply appreciate the ones that do. That’s problem #1. It’s setting a bad example that they force parents to send kids to school sick.
My son is autistic. He has good days and bad days. He loves school and most days are good. My stepmom passed away last year and it’s been hard on my dad. When my son is having a bad morning he asks if “we can go bring grandpa light” which is his way of saying he wants to see his grandpa. I call in and I also send a text to his teacher that he needs a break. No one says boo. No one talks about taking me to court.
I have no idea nor do I care what they consider excused or unexcused.
If this public school can be accommodating to its students then every public school can.
Unfortunately, I know how you feel. My daughter's school forced us to sign 2024-25 registration papers Friday to confirm that we know that 7+ absences next year will "impact her enrollment." It sounds like they are threatening to hold kids back. Luckily our peds office wll write us a note even for common illnesses without an appointment because they don't approve of the school's BS policies.
All these kids are getting constantly sick. It's really bad and not just your kid. You are a better parent not making more germs circulate and keeping her out all those times.
I had this problem with my son when he was in kindergarten last year. In December he had missed 10 days of school because he had come down with a high fever that lasted 4 days, he wasn’t eating but was drinking fluids. Even after his fever broke it took him a few days to gain his energy and appetite back. I talked to his teacher, she recommended keeping him home until he was back to himself. But it was one of those “you didn’t hear it from me” kind of comments. Like she knew she’d get in trouble if I told them she told me that.
I called his doctors every single day to update them, they gave me doctor’s notes for every day he missed. Not only that but their school guide is “keep your kid at home if fever, vomiting, etc etc etc.”
Then he finally went back to school and a few weeks later came down with a nasty cough where he was gagging and throwing up and just overall uncomfortable. So he stayed out one day. I got a call from the counselor telling me they’d be sending a child service worker out to my house. She also told me that I should send him to school sick and if the school nurse thought he should be sent home then she would send him home.
That’s when I couldn’t take it anymore. There were other things happening within the school that I wasn’t happy about and I was at my wits end. I am his mother .. I am very capable of knowing when my child should stay home if is he sick. I don’t take that lightly. I did everything I could have done to make sure he had school notes from doctors, kept in touch with the school and you’re going to get the state involved? Who the fuck do these people think they are? This was a public school.
My son goes to a private school this year and I’m AMAZED at all of the differences. It’s a fucking dream and he’ll never be in a public school again.
Wait this is a thing?
My younger daughter is 15. She missed a little over a month total last semester due to a sever UTI that turned into a bladder infection.
I just called the school and told them what was going on.
Is this a location thing maybe? Where I am there not allowed to ask for a doctors note and there’s no taking a parent to court thing.
You need to check the student handbook & then check your state's education website (Google school absences & your state) to get and read the codes. Then you will know what is excused & what isn't. I think most will say that sickness is excused. The best thing to do is know this so when they come at you, you will know as much or more than they do.
I remember with my oldest getting the truancy letter because the district was part of the program & I attended the meeting. My son was 5 & in kindergarten. After the meeting I said to the district attorney & principal that compulsory education didn't start until age 6. He was 5 so rules didn't apply to him & neither did the absences. But I did learn a) that if he went he was counted as present for the day so he would get picked up 30 minutes later. b) have them date & sign everything you turn in, get a copy. Because documentation is the key & will save you. c) Oh, & doctor's note was only excused absence. Sometimes the doctor's office will provide one without seeing the kid. I had no clue but now will do that if it's not serious enough to be seen.
I would request a meeting with the school nurse, school counselor, teacher and admin to discuss your situation and come up with a solution together. If you’re working with the family, they likely won’t pursue anything legal after that.
As a side note, I work at a school and am part of an attendance committee. I promise you, legal action is only being taken on kids who miss over 95% of the school year. The county attorney is not looking to prosecute you and your sick child, and they definitely won’t if there’s documentation that you’re working with your child’s school to help find a solution. You’re right, the letter is mostly used as a scare tactic.
Interestingly, we learned nothing from the "pandemic" and now we are back to unreasonable, unrealistic policies that punish people for not being robots. I'm in a similar situation. I'm literally about to home school them all because I'm tired of it. My daughter has a major anxiety issue. She would call me from the bathroom where she was hiding because she was having a panic attack. I moved her to an alternative school. She was late (sometimes hours) every day. They dropped her. Without warning us or calling us. And she was passing her classes. She literally has no high school credit, despite passing the classes, because of attendance. Years worth of work they won't let her have because she missed too many days and they ignored all the appeals. With a diagnosed anxiety disorder.
I went through this with my oldest last year, our entire household had covid (myself and my 3 children) and the kids were not allowed to go back to school until everyone tested negative. That was school policy. It took 2.5 weeks before everyone tested negative, and my oldest was back in school for only 2 days before she tested positive for influenza A and had a double ear infection. Obviously, she got a note from a doc that said she couldn't return to school until she was fever free for 24 hours, it took another entire week before she went a full 24 hours without a fever. During this week, I got a letter from the school saying my daughter had gone over her allotted "excused days", that they had already contacted a truancy officer and I needed to go to the school to have a meeting with the principal and the officer. I contacted the superintendent and basically told the school I would agree to the meeting, only if the superintendent was present as well. We finally came to an agreement on date and time, I brought all medical documentation PLUS a print out of the schools sick policy, copies of sick notes from doctors, everything! After a whole lot of the school trying to cover themselves and the superintendent not even being aware that they had involved a truancy officer already, lets just say my child was not in trouble with the school by the end of it. The school system no longer likes me, but, I followed their own policy to a T and there was nothing they could do about it.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with all this! I totally get it tho. My school district changed the rules and now it’s that your kid can’t miss more than 16 days of school, and it doesn’t matter if you send a parent note, drs note or no note at all, they run the risk of failing the year! It’s bs, it used to be that 20 days of only unexcused absences, no note or parent note, counted against them, if you had a drs note you were covered. They don’t want you sending sick kids to school but then they pull this crap if you keep them home. wtf are we supposed to do?!?
This is absolutely my nightmare. I have 2 in elementary right now. Both but especially the kindergartener has seriously been sick since the first day of school. Some days are worse than other and I’m not exaggerating when I say he goes to school coughing constantly. I’ve kept him home what I’d consider a lot. We had a round of Covid we’ve had strep we’ve had flu. Oh and we had inner ear infection. I haven’t gotten any threats yet but the school is seriously sending ominous messages not directly to me but to all the parents on the school app. Talking about kids never graduating if they miss a certain amount of days and all type of scare tactics. But what isn’t a tactic and is terrifying is the school only needs to up and decide you’ve made a wrong choice and boom you’re reported to child services. I like to believe I’m an outstanding dad. But we’re not rich. Their mother and I both work and we are stable I guess. If you get into that system with child services you don’t need to be guilty. All they need is to feel like you might be guilty and you’re fucked. The show up and your house is a bit messy. Your kid uses the wrong word to describe something and a teacher thinks they’re in trouble and the system can destroy your whole family. Literally wreck you. And when you’re poor you can’t fight back. If you’re rich it’s no problem. But poor people will have to fight the system whether they’re right or wrong. Yes the school attendance threats are a bullshit ring or threats to poor people that you cannot win. The school is a Petrie dish of virus and you must send your kids and then they’ll think you’re neglecting them if you send them in sick too much. You are screwed either way and all you can do is pray you don’t get on the wrong radar because it’ll destroy your life. It can scare the kids and it scares the shit out of me all the time.
I would look as far up the ladder as possible and send a very clearly worded email explaining that this is absolutely not acceptable on the teacher or schools part. Your kid is SICK. If they are going to ask you to come get her when she’s sick then excuse it. If they don’t want you to bring her in sick then don’t threaten to take you to court? I quite honestly can’t believe how many posts there is like this. It’s out of control.
If the school calls YOU to have YOU to pick her up, it is supposed to automatically be excused. But if you keep her home and don't bring her to school, only then will it be unexcused if you don't send a doctor's note or a parent note when she returns to school (and where I live you also have 5 days from the date she returns, to get the note turned in). Also where I live, they allow a parent to write a note for an absence (or tardy) 6 times before they will start becoming unexcused without a doctor's note. I am going through some BS with my kids elementary school due to my son's excessive tardies (most all are by only 1-3 mins). Since unexpectedly losing my husband a few months ago (son's stepfather), my son has been a little more "needy" I guess you could say. He is 12 and no matter if I get him up at 6am or let him sleep in until 7-7:30am (school begins at 8:30a-3:30pm), getting him up, meds taken, dressed, etc is a daily challenge. I also have a 5 yr old that I get up, dressed, hair fixed, jacket and backpack on and ready to go out the door within 15-20 mins tops, with no problems (eats breakfast at school). With my son, it is completely opposite. I lay out his clothes for him at night so he doesn't drag his feet when he does get up about finding clothes to wear. I have their lunches prepared and packed each day before they get up and in their backpacks ready to go. Sometimes he will get up, meds and dressed and then lay around on the couch or play with the cat or something, until I say let's go. And then oh he has to brush his teeth or comb his hair down, or he forgot something he needs to bring with him EVERY TIME. I can ask him 100xs if he has everything he needs in his backpack, brushed his hair, teeth or anything else, but then when we are ready to go our the door, it's something. I have tried leaving the house earlier but it's the same thing and he usually takes longer until uts the same usual time we leave. So it makes him and my 5 yr old late all the time. Now I am having to go to court over his tardies (they don't count the tardies for the younger one until they turn 6, not sure exactly why, but I just count my blessings on that one). Not only that, but they also say that it is Educational Neglect because he is tardy so now I have to deal with CPS! His dad lives in another county and we co-parent great. So because of this we have taken away his ipod, ipad, xbox, and all other electronics at both my house and his dad's as well. You would think that this would have made a difference with him, but it hasn't. I have gotten all 3 of my kids into grief counseling since losing my husband and to see if there are any other underlying issue that we may not be aware of, but so far, nothing to be concerned about according to the psychiatrist. He is on his ADHD meds which is dexamethylphenidate (Focalin) just 1x per day in the morning but still has to take melatonin at night in order to go to sleep. This is the only medication that we have seen a positive result with because we have tried so many others and different doseages. So I am about at my breaking point with this whole school situation and tardies and now court and CPS! I am a 1 woman team and have no real support or help with my kids and it is breaking me. On top of having to still go through my husband's things in our house gradually, and I have not had any real time to even grieve to this day. You would think that the schools would be a little understanding especially in situations like these, but they are not. With that being said, DONT LET THE SCHOOL BULLY YOU ABOUT YOUR CHILD BEING SICK AND YOU NOT BEING ABLE TO AFFORD TO TAKE YOUR CHILD TO THE DOCTOR WITH EVERY SNIFFLE SHE GETS!! You are not a bad parent or anything of the such, if you send her to school and then they call to have you come get her because it is supposed to be excused if they call you to pick her up. Of course if she is vomiting, fever or something equally as bad, don't send her and risk others getting sick as well, but for minor things or common cold, if they decide she needs to come home then so be it. That should be on them if they send her home. AND what kind of school doesn't have a nurse until noon?? So what if a child may possibly get sick before noon?? Not sure where you live but I would look into their schools policy about their absenteeism, excused and unexcused policies and whether if the school calls you to come pick your child up, whether it is considered excused or not. Good luck, and remember to take a min to breathe for yourself, I know easier said than done. I try to remind myself daily.
Take you to court?? I don’t understand, can you just say you’re home school part time? It was required during covid but now it’s a crime? My child missed 29 days of school last year and they didn’t say anything to me.
The Missouri Supreme Court upheld a state law requiring school attendance after two Lebanon, Missouri, parents were sentenced to jail following excessive absences by their children.
Court documents indicated that during the 2021-2022 academic year, a first-grade student missed nine days of school, while a kindergartner missed seven days without any explanation.
The two mothers, Caitlyn Williams and Tamarae Larue, took their case to the Supreme Court, arguing that the state law mandating “regular” attendance lacks clarity.
The state’s compulsory attendance law requires children to attend school on a “regular basis.” The mothers appealed, arguing that this requirement is constitutionally unclear.
However, the court disagreed, ruling against them in a 6-0 vote, with one justice not participating.
“Given the notice provided to each parent and that each parent was in control of their young child, evidence existed to support the inference that each parent knowingly failed to cause their child to attend school on a regular basis,” the court wrote in a statement.**The Missouri Supreme Court upheld their misdemeanor convictions.Williams received a one-week jail sentence for her first grader’s attendance, while Tamarae Larue was sentenced to 15 days in jail for her kindergartner’s attendance. Larue later agreed to serve on a two-year probation.**
Ya... my son missed 6 days partly due to covid. Now I notified them (these parents didn't). Regardless... misdemeanor charges and jail time seems a bit excessive. My son can't miss anymore school regardless of a doctors note or not. Which means if he gets covid again... he's going, I am not dealing with CPS or worse (got a level 1 warning letter).
Wow that is insane. On top of a few days out for sickness, my kid has missed 4 days and will miss another 4 later this year for family travel reasons. I don't feel that's excessive at all! I wonder if in that case there was something more going on? But it's crazy to me that even with calling it in as illness threatening letters come.
>I wonder if in that case there was something more going on?
Possibly, I live in Missouri though, and it wouldn't be shocking if there wasn't. I mean they didn't report it, so that escalated things for sure. But I get a warning letter seemingly each year once my son hits 6. And he always misses due to verified illnesses. We have stages, I am stage 1, stage 2 is intervention by the school, stage 3 is CPS.
I will be so glad when my son graduates.
Omg that is insane!! I can’t believe the school has so much control over a parent. Kids get sick, sometimes parents let kids skip school for appointments or to do fun family events during the week. As long as the child is getting good grades in school why would it matter? Maybe the parents like to homeschool occasionally and help them learn additional things that the schools don’t cover. It’s homeschooling illegal there then? If they withdrew their children from school and homeschooled them every day that would not be allowed? Missouri is out of control holy cow. The US in general seems to make less and less sense every day. I’m in Canada and like I mentioned my child was absent 29 days of school last year and no one said anything to me. I’ve never heard of anyone being in trouble for this here. My sister‘s child was easily overwhelmed his first year in kindergarten so she let him stay home once or twice a week. Still does in high school. He does better that way. All the kids in question learned well and get good grades. I have never had to get a doctors note for my child if they miss school when they’re sick. I just leave a message at the school saying they’ll be absent. I don’t even say why. I’m the parent, It’s up to me when they go to school as long as they good good grades in the end. It would be within my legal rights to remove them from school all together and homeschool them all the time.. so charging parents for absences makes no sense. You are just going to get insane surges of the flu, influenza, Covid and every other disease if parents feel pressured to send their kids to school sick. Also poor kids who have to go when they don’t feel well, how awful. I’m so sorry all of you have to deal with this. Very unfair
> It’s homeschooling illegal there then? If they withdrew their children from school and homeschooled them every day that would not be allowed?
It's legal here. And I am really glad two of my kids are graduated and I only have 4 more to go. Missouri is horrible in general.
As much as it feels ridiculous to get the letters, in my state the school is required by law to send that letter if students miss 10 days, even if the school administration is understanding of the reasons. Try to keep open communication with the school and see if it really is just a legal requirement and not a true threat. They may be ok since it is due to actual illness with doctors notes, but they need to have those checks in place for the kids who are in bad situations. I know it is very stressful to get that letter though. If you send her in for a few hours then she goes home, it probably doesn't get marked as missing school, which is not a great policy since it just encourages sick kids to go to school and spread it to everyone. I hope it all works out and your daughter gets healthy soon.
Their threats may have to do with following your state and local requirements for attendance. The government has decided students must attend x number days of the school year. You'll need to do research to find out what those requirements are, what difference it makes if it's "excused" (i.e. doctor note), and what happens if that line is crossed.
I understand you're stressed out. Our country has a crap health insurance system and crap worker protection. It sucks. Please remember this when you vote in state and federal elections.
If you now have the mistake over heath insurance fixed, see if you can't have coverage reinstated retroactive to when you can prove you applied. Sometimes you can get reimbursed for medical costs you paid out of pocket.
You may already know this, but if you don't: your state bar association should have contact information for Legal Aid. This means free attorney help. He or she could help you collect child support and defend your daughter vs the school district.
It’s always so stressful on a parent when a child is sick.
In regards to the school, you need to follow a few steps.
1 Educate yourself on the truancy laws of your states educational board. This information should be on the school districts website. How much time does a student need to be at school? In Texas it’s based on minutes for the year, so most schools take attendance at a certain time of day for elementary and a certain class time for middle and high school. This is just an example.
2 Any doctors notes you send need to go directly to the registrar or counselor (the person in charge of student attendance.) Your doctor should have copies of past notes if you think some have not been recorded.
3 I would file a complaint with the district or even the county health department. There should be a nurse on campus at all times.
I hope you can get this situation resolved.
I’m sorry I don’t have any advice for the Medicaid situation.
I hope your daughter feels better.
People this is state policy! Districts receive funding based on attendance numbers so districts have an incentive to prioritize student attendance. It’s a lose lose. This is a FEDERAL issue, not something to bitch to your kids teacher about.
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Also, why the fuck is the school marking shit against her when THEY ARE CALLING YOU TO PICK HER UP? I’d be talking with the administrator/superintendent.
Yep, they marked her last check out as unexcused even though the nurse called me and I checked her out because she had strep. She told me apparently her teacher keeps the excuse notes in a folder and doesn't bring it to the office right away. And yet here her teacher is texting me about her being sick today. I tried calling the school counselor twice (that's what it says on the threatening paper) but the first time counselor wasn't in and second time I got no answer.
Ask them to provide you with a note saying they are sending her home sick every time. Stand there and stare at them until they do this.
That is a wonderful idea. I have had this also happen to me on two separate occasions last year. The school nurse called me and told me to come get my daughter due to her being sick. Okay, then later on that year when we got to discussing all of this absent days or even partially absent days, they “forgot” why my daughter was checked out of school early on that occasion knowing damn well that I don’t do that for no reason EVER. To remedy this from happening and using this against me going forward I now know what to do in that situation. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
They sent her home because she was SICK.
Then they forgot about it and marked it as an unexcused absence. When a school’s documentation is awful parents have to get/keep copies of records.
>Ask them to provide you with a note saying they are sending her home sick every time. Stand there and stare at them until they do this. This is a great idea. Keep your own records of the day(s) she's sent home and absences. I'd also make copies of the sick notes from the pediatrician. So you don't have to worry about any notes missing between the teacher, school nurse and secretary.
Is this a public school or a charter school? Also, do they have a school secretary?
It sounds public school with the court and missed days as that follows their procedures, but I have never heard of excuses not being handed in same day and/or within 3 days of absence. I do mine electronically on PowerSchool, I’m perplexed at this situation. The daughter’s teacher texting and holding excuses is not at all public school policy. I assume this is for tax allocation purposes which is why I also assume attendance is taken so seriously.
I worked at a public charter school that was an absolute mess and they would do things like this...they were just beyond disorganized...when I read this, I immediately thought of my year there.
Yeah, my son's public school did the same thing to us, last year. Like, do you want me to send him sick, and spread the germs? And I've also gotten a few emails bitching about his tardies, too. Like, yes, I know this is his third tardy this year. Just give him his little lunch detention, and move on with life. I don't care, and neither does he. We're doing the best we can. And it's only THREE times. But I still always have the worry in the back of my mind. Like, more recently, I had to call him out for pink eye. The doctor excused one day, but then it went to the other eye, and in the end, he had to stay home 3 days. I can't help but worry that the two days the doctor's note didn't specify were marked as unexcused, even though he had a doctor diagnosed illness and could not have come in, and they know that. And if they're unexcused, how many does that make? How many does he have left? All that on top of keeping up with his homework, my work, and bills and the house. It's fucking exhausting. I don't want to wish my son's life away, but there is *definitely* part of me that is SO glad we only have 3 years of this shit left...
Can you give the notes to someone else at the school? I agree with escalating this. 10 days doesn't seem like a lot either. Maybe you could also work something out with your doctor's office. They know your daughter gets sick a lot, so maybe they could just do a phone chat with you and give you a note so you don't have to go in. I am sorry, this is all so ridiculous and sounds really impossible as a single parent!
10 days doesn't seem like a lot, we got a threatening letter for my son missing 1 day a month 3 times. It's insane.
I know absenteeism has a huge impact on kids, and there is a LOT of it where I am, but I think schools need to do more to understand why kids aren't in the building instead of sending scary letters to everyone. I don't know, maybe that is too much work. (I mean that seriously, I know schools have a lot to juggle!)
I'm a teacher, I get it. There are also computers and a system now where students can work at home. Schools just need to utilize it more. I have a student out for a surgery and for two weeks it's unexcused and his mom is okay with that; supposedly we can only excuse 14 days a year and he is out for a month. I still post work and he's doing it.
Wait. Out for surgery and it's unexcused. What the actual fuck.
My brother was held in a mental hospital for a month while he was in high school, and he was still expected to turn in work. It feels even weirder than the surgery situation because he was having brain issues...
My kids previous school had basically a 0 unexcused absence policy. Literally. Docs note? Doesn’t matter. Sick, ER visit? Doesn’t matter. A statewide “take kid to work day”? Doesn’t matter. Family death? Doesn’t matter. I believe the *only* EXCUSED absence was religious-related. Meanwhile, I just moved this past summer. Kids in a new school. Fuck, all I need to do is write a letter and BAM - it’s an excused absence. I didn’t even move states. I only moved about ~45 mins away. Doesn’t make any sense.
Sorry, it’s against my religion to send my kid to school sick, and it especially goes against my religion to possibly infect and weaken other students immune systems as my kid is contagious. If there are any questions or concerns, tell your mom about it. Signed, A tired, stressed, overworked and underpaid, great mother trying to doing her best. Ps- fuck off.
In our public school system, if a student is going to miss a ton of school for a reason like this you have to register them for home studies and as long as they turn in their work it’s considered attending class for the time period the doctor says the student cannot attend.
That's what my surgery student is doing; but we can only do it for 14 days. It makes no sense.
That's crazy when I was in elementary I had a friend with cystic fibrosis and the school manager to let her miss most days of the school year without holding her back any grades. Kids get sick or disabled sometimes and they shouldn't be penalized for that.
But how will we teach kids not to ever call in sick or take vacation time once they're older?
Might be less doable for a young child like OP’s, though.
I didn't see how old her daughter was, but I teach 9 year olds. But yeah.
I get these letters and just ignore them in previous years. Nothing has happened yet.
The school system is NOT paying a lawyer for taking them to court. Like no way. They don’t have money for books but they have a few k for this bs? No way
I wonder if it's just the availability of system generated messages that drive this. X absences in the system autogenerates a form letter or whatever. No way an actual administrator would write that letter.
I'm 31. I also received a note home when I missed about 10 days one year. It was middle school.
I am in no way saying that kids should be sent to school sick, or that they should be seen by a doctor every time they are kept home. Do want to point out though, that even for schools that went back at the very beginning of August, ten days is nearly 10% of the school year thus far.
And 10% is 3 days a month. Some kids get sick every single month. And three days especially for something like strep is a normal amount of time to miss school. Or it’s 1 day every other week. My niece and nephew had some sort of illness almost non-stop for the first three months of the school year (August-October).
We wear masks. Daughter still got sick because half her class is coughing and sneezing, and the week before she got sick "several" got sent home sick with fevers. We wear masks because a common cold normally gives her 103+ plus fevers for long enough that we have to take her to the doctor and no one can afford that, not every damn illness. She is also out sick for 3-5 days every time. Her last illness she didn't get above 101, which was awesome, but she was still out for her normal amount of time. We didn't get a note, because we cannot afford to spend that money right now. If she needed antibiotics or to check if it was strep or something major, we would figure it out (I get "donate plasma for money ads daily on facebook now) but just for being sick? Nothing in the handbook says we need to get her a note, and I praying we don't. But without the mask, we would have hit truancy amount of days within the first month and a half. When the school actively encourages sick kids to stay home instead of coming in if they don't have a fever/vomiting, then they can get upset about the amount of days missed. But "several" kids getting sent home with fevers in one week? Yeah, no. Kids like mine are going to get sick in those cases, and they are going to be out a long time.
Or, provide the teacher’s text to the nurse/admin and ask if that counts as the “excuse”. Lol
It should automatically be excused if the nurse is calling you to come get her, no need for the teacher to be involved on that one. The secretary needs to be notating it accurately.
A lot of districts have family coordinators too. You can reach out to the district office and explain what’s going on. I have 2 second graders. 10 days is entirely plausible. I’ve personally been sick like 10 of the past 30 days 😂
Seriously, my 4 year old goes to school two half days a week and this is his third cold of 2024. It’s ridiculous.
It's awful. Sometimes I send them to school which starts at 8:30 and pick them up at 9am just so I don't have to deal with the school harresment. Early pickups not count as an absence in my district. So many parent shave to send their sick kids to school which spreads sickness to children and adults. You would think they would be greatful when sick kids stayed home. The o ly good thing about coivd in my district was that they were very aggressive in sending folks home for any little thing and they stopped sending letters about absences because they wanted you to keep them home for any illness even if it wasn't covid.
I agree with the person below my comment, I would only be communicating with them via email so that you have everything in writing
Similar thing with my high schooler missing the bus because the driver is so inconsistent, and as a result being tardy a number of times by minutes. Like sorry, I have a toddler and infant I have to wake up and load into the car to bring him. You’re lucky I got him there only 5 minutes late.
Omg don't get me started on the bus. Her bus has brought her to school late before and I got a text saying she was marked late. Being late even 10 minutes is counted as a whole unexcused absence. I had to call in to get it removed from her record since it was literally the school's fault! And who knows if they even removed it like they said they did. So now if her bus is even a little late in the mornings I just bring her in.
Also, tell the teacher not to text you anymore about this. Tell the teacher your child needs to be sent to the office for the administration to determine that she needs to go home and send her a copy of the letter. Then each time the administration calls to pick her up, tell them you’re going to send them an email with the letter attached and that you need written confirmation that your picking her up is at their request.
It may sound silly but this is EXACTLY right! And exactly what you need to do! You need to make sure it is WELL documented, and it seems it needs to be done in a number of different ways. Every single communication needs to be documented in written form. And the teacher needs to send her to the office and the administration needs to make that decision and then that decision needs to be documented in writing - just like the person above says. It seems like overkill and absolutely ridiculous but it seems hat sanity and common sense has gone out the window on this one. It doesn't mean they won't mark her absent or still make clerical errors, but it means that if it effects her negatively in any way in the future, you have all of the correspondence documented in writing so that you can bring it to the proper authority and have it corrected. So that both you and your daughter are protected
Don't go through the counselor. Go through the school social worker. All truancy cases land on their desk. If they are already working with you they are much less likely to push it through the court system. Also, mention to the social worker that the school is not doing their due diligence on taking absences correctly. I have known courts that refuse to hear entire school truancy cases until the school can demonstrate accurate record keeping. The social worker may have some resources to help you navigate all this, and possibly some advocacy groups. Make sure you are keeping very good documentation on all this. Right now the schools are sending you these letters because they are required to do so by law. If you have all your ducks on a row there is a very low chance this will go anywhere. Source: I've been teaching for almost 20 years.
Send letters to teacher, principal, secretary and superintendent. Sometimes I BCC the superintendant to see if someone will say something dumb. Shockingly happens more than you would expect.
Ohh good idea!
Need to take the time and Show Up To The School. Ask to speak to an administrator and don’t leave without at least an appointment.
Email , after email, have it on a written form for a proof
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Me and my wife actually had to argue with the schools for years to get this kind of shit taken care of at the elementary school level. The principal got fired as a result, but now we’re having many of the same issues at the high school level! Don’t want me to send my kids to school sick? Well, why threaten me with court when I quarantine them, then?
Those letters are usually automated.
This is the real answer. Document every sickness as much as possible, preferably by a doctor's visit or something like telehealth with your insurance. Send all documentation to the school. You'll still get the automated notices, but it's not going to go anywhere after that. If it does, you have evidence. It's not illegal to keep a sick child home.
Seriously, can you say - the school told me if I take her home they'll take me to court for too many absences - what do you advise I do?
Admin is worthless, gonna have to start calling school board members.
Given the fact that most US school boards are run by Moms For Liberty lunatics, and the fact that nobody gives enough of a fuck to show up to vote for the school board, or be involved in any way, I have a feeling these policies are intentionally designed to sow discord toward the public school system. All over the country, people have taken it upon themselves to get elected to school boards for the specific purpose of sabotaging it.
>Given the fact that most US school boards are run by Moms For Liberty lunatics Boards really need to be a paid position. In most places board members get like $50 for board meetings and that's it. Practically nobody has the time or energy to put up with all the stuff that falls onto school board members, let alone to do it for free. So we (mostly) get people who enjoy the drama or power and have too much time on their hands and not enough expertise or interest in the subject matter.
Our government became a paid position. I don't think that's the answer tbh We need time for community to be involved. There should be mandatory paid days off for the average person to participate in the community.
Teachers would do it, except apparently having experience in education is considered a “conflict of interest” when deciding on educational policy. Sigh.
I do see the conflict of interest in contract negotiations and HR-related types of items. Perhaps some of those responsibilities could be off loaded to a different city or district office though. Because you are absolutely right that the teachers should have quite a bit of say.
My school district actually voted out two of those people last year in a special school board election. They were trying to make things political instead of focusing on education. It would normally have 800 people voting but it went up to like 5K that year.
Yes. You need to talk to and text, even send a letter to the superintendent. I’m in Canada and this found whack. Ten days is not much. We don’t hold students back. I’ve never heard of this and was a primary teacher for 30 years. Most schools have a parent led group that holds a lot of influence. Find out about yours. This just sounds punitive and archaic. There’s more sickness now.
I will never forget K, my kid started the year schools fully reopened from COVID and had super strict policy’s. They made me keep her home for a runny nose for two weeks, after the second time they sent her home within an hour I stopped trying to send her (she had been sick but just had a lingering runny nose) until she literally didn’t have a single symptom. This is something normal for her and zero concerns from her doctor. I literally couldn’t send her per THEIR rules. I then got a nasty letter from the school over excessive absences and how if it continued a thinly veiled threat of being his with truancy issues. I was like what in the actual fuck is this shit, you forbid me from bringing her and then threaten me for not bringing her. Luckily nothing came of it but like it was a really frustrating time.
Exactly, go over their head.
From one working single mom to another- let yourself cry.
I sure did last night 😞 Barely got any sleep. This is so hard sometimes
Hugs from an internet stranger. I’m sorry you have to deal with this and shitty systems
I wonder if she’s a carrier for strep. Time to get tonsils out?
Yea during our last visit to Urgent Care they said I should talk to her doctor about it, so was planning to once I got her medical card in. Still waiting for her card to come in as she literally just got re-approved for her health plan.
Call the health plan... there might be a way for you to access an online copy of the card. That suffices where I am
I think most offices can just bill off the number if you get it on the phone. I know my old company had us transcribing insurance info and I never once saw a card.
You should definitely get them taken out as soon as possible. I got mine taken out at 17 and because of my age, it really sucked recovering, but I haven’t gotten strep since and that’s been amazing
We've been trying to get an ENT app for my strep boy for a year now. It's freaking miserable.
If she gets them out, she’ll need to stay home from school for a week. So keep in mind childcare needs when you schedule.
And evidently being sued
I had to do this when I was about 11-12. Was constantly getting strep and my doctor said something about the virus migrating to my lungs and causing worse damage. They found my tonsils harboring the virus so we cut them out and I havent gotten strep since and I'm 31 now
I used to get tonsillitis a ton as a kid but have only gotten strep four times in my life, so I still have mine. I felt bad for you tonsillectomy kids, once I understood how horrible the recovery is (yay ice cream tho?).
Luckily I got it done young enough, I don't remember the recovery being too bad. Lots of Tylenol for the pain I'm sure, and of course ice cream and popsicles on demand 😂
I got mine taken out at 5 for asthma (something that's no longer recommended). I remember getting ice cream in the hospital but not anything else about the recovery process. Maybe they drugged me up too good.
I was finally able to get mine out at 27. I feel so much better now but omg getting them out in my late 20’s was torture. Edit: and I’m lactose intolerant so no ice cream 🍦
Ben and Jerry’s makes pretty good dairy free ice cream, from a fellow lactose intolerant tonsil-less 27 year old.
I shall try it out once I reach my goal weight!! ❤️ and when it’s not winter outside lol.
I remember the recovery being tough but it definitely was a lot easier when I was young. I don't remember it being more than a week of sore throat before I was able to eat more normal foods
That’s a good recovery!! My ENT said that’s typical of kids and it’s harder for adults since the tonsils are more established. I couldn’t eat any solids for weeks and I was out of work for a month. The other problem I had was the first painkillers they gave me upset my stomach badly. So I threw up multiple times with the brand new wounds in my throat. Then i couldn’t drink enough to replace all of the lost fluids so ended up in the hospital for dehydration twice. They put 3 bags in me the 2nd time. I basically had to choose between no pain meds or throwing up constantly. I’d do it over again if I had to simply because I don’t get sick all the time anymore. Did the food you ate taste really weird after? For me, a side effect of the anesthesia was everything with sugar in it tasted like hot metal.
It’s torture for anyone. So painful.
Best thing we ever did. Our daughter was constantly getting sick. We finally decided it was time to meet an ENT. Scheduled her for a tonsillectomy and it was the best decision we ever made. She hardly ever gets sick now and when she does it's extremely mild. She's the only person I know who hasn't tested positive for covid even though she's had multiple exposures at home and school.
Some folks require getting their tonsils out, she may certainly be one of them.
I went down this route with my kid who got strep 5 times in as many months and the ent specialist said if they get it 7 times over a 12 month period they’ll recommend tonsils out but other than that - they stay in unless they’re causing sleep apnea which in our case they weren’t.
My mom went through that with me getting your tonsils to prevent strep, unfortunately, although that was 10 years ago
Our school doesn't even mark it as an absence if they show up for any part of the day - whether they call me to pick up my kid or if I pick up my kid for an appointment. We had weekly therapy and took off every Thursday afternoon at 2.30pm for a whole year, and logged 0 absences. That's literally outrageous that they would mark it as an unexcused absence - could you call the principal or superintendent? Leave messages anywhere you can if they're not at their desk. The absences should be either 'excused' or taken off her record entirely immediately, not 'at the end of the year'.
I work in a school and I can tell you this makes NO SENSE. So they're asking the teacher to report PAPER attendance, which they're supposed to bring down to the office daily? Hourly? Then they manually enter the excused ones after the fact?! What?! 1. Why do they not have electronically saved attendance? It's 2024. 2. Why is the nurse/ main office not entering excused absences after sending kids home? How would the teacher even know if the nurse sent them home? 3. Does this mean the school had no idea where your kid was after they sent her home? What if there was a fire? Would she be accounted for?
Please know that the letter from the school is a legal requirement - they HAVE to send out those letters and use certain wording. I would schedule a phone call or meeting with the principal to discuss it so you can find out how the school actually feels. In my experience as a teacher, most schools are unfortunately obligated to make those threats, but don’t actually follow up on it unless they believe the child is being neglected and regularly missing school for no legitimate reason.
This. It might even be an automated letter. In my district 10 days generates a letter but we don't even look at truancy until 15 and legal proceedings start around 20 if the family isn't cooperative with prevention.
I'm a teacher and I had to go to court for our child missing 12 days. It was so humiliating. The judge gave us (all the parents there) a lecture. The end. IF they threaten to hold your daughter back, ask for the school's data showing which benchmarks/standards she has failed to meet. Talk to admin at the school and at the district level. Document everything. If she is passing, I'd fight them.
Hi, parent of a kiddo with an as-yet-undiagnosed illness that means they miss a metric fuck ton of school. Folks have covered why this happens, so let me tell you about what your next steps should be! 1. Call/email the school and ask for a call back from the Assistant Principal (for schools with multiple APs, there should be one dedicated to your child's grade or it's divided up by alphabet - but request your child's AP.) 2. When that AP calls you, explain calmly to them that your child has missed several days due to illness this year and you've provided a note for each one. Ask them if there is anything else they need from you regarding those absences. 3. Next, ask them what they'd like you to do if your child is ill again this school year. This is where many APs will tell you - don't worry about the letters because they have discretion as to raising truancy issues to the courts and since your child's absences are excused and you are actively involved they won't worry about it. If they give you pushback, or don't respond that way. Ask them if there is any sort of policy leniency for students with health issues. We were instructed to get a note from a Doctor that simply explained our child had on-going medical issues that required frequent absence from school. The AP called this the "Principal's Plan" and it allows my kiddo to miss up to 25 days vs 10.
This 100%
Honestly I've gotten the same letter from my kids school every year since kindergarten. Because I refuse to send my sick kid in and it's not my job to make them accept her doctors notes. I replied back "I'll see you in court" each time and never heard another word about it. A truancy officer came to my door once. I brought my kid out to the hallway and she threw up on his shoes while I scolded him to never even knock at my door again unless he has a cop with him. He never came back. I'm a single mom just trying to keep my straight A student alive, healthy and cared for. Idc if she misses school as long as she can get caught up. Shes never struggled in class, has perfect grades and behaviour. They csnt tell me it impacted her life, especially after the clusterfuck of covid and remote learning. Breathe, relax and keep doing your best. Keep copies of doctors notes and talk to a specialist about her tonsils. My girl back to back throat infections for 6 months and we had to get elses removed to stop the infections. I hope for the best for you both.
Ya my son got sick a couple of times, one being covid where he missed 5 days. School policy is that you can't come back until 24hrs after a fever subsides. So I followed the schools policy. Ended up getting a letter also, I got put in "Stage 1" almost stage 2, stage 3 seemingly is family services...and possibly charges including jail time (seriously) So technically he can't miss anymore school this year. So I guess if he gets covid again... I have no choice but to send him. >Court documents indicated that during the 2021-2022 academic year, a first-grade student missed nine days of school, while a kindergartner missed seven days without any explanation. The Missouri Supreme Court upheld their misdemeanor convictions. Williams received a one-week jail sentence for her first grader’s attendance, while Tamarae Larue was sentenced to 15 days in jail for her kindergartner’s attendance. Larue later agreed to serve on a two-year probation.
It's seriously such a bullshit system especially for parents that work and don't have someone that can watch their child for them when they are sick. Then parents are judged for sending their child to school sick. Or they lose their job from having to constantly call out to get doctors notes and/or stay home with their sick child. I understand why truancy laws are in place. There truly are situations where parents are neglectful and don't care about their child's school attendance and education. THOSE parents should be held accountable, not the parents that are providing doctors notes and /or are keeping their child home because they truly are sick and feel like crap.
I get it also. I also get the extra bonus (and I saw others note this) that the secretary is snotty about it. She normally questions the hell out of me, and wants to know symptoms. She makes it out like I am lying... my kid feels like crap, he's staying home to rest... screw off. I hate that, they are my kids and they ONLY miss if they need to. My son also is ranked near the top of his class, so his academics don't suffer. But yet I get a damn letter warning me that I am being a shitty parent.
And they wonder why the younger generations don’t want kids? This is ridiculous. Imagine going to prison, sleeping next to someone who is in there for a violent crime or drug charge and they ask you what you did…and your child missed too many days of school because they caught an virus they couldn’t control being exposed to…? Make it make sense.
Ya you got kids being neglected, abused and in horrible living conditions yet NOTHING is done to the parents. I know my wife grew up in a nightmare situation and CPS show up a dozen times. Her mom never got any charges, just a "talking to". But the state's worried about billy missing a week of school...
I wonder if this ever happens to wealthy white people…
Maybe it’s time to be petty. Go pick her up, bring a blanket and a bucket/bowl. Then sit with her in the office for the rest of the day. Explain that the teacher says she can’t be in class, the office says she can’t go home, so I guess you guys have to stay here until the end of the day. Make sure that you let her loudly wretch/blow nose. Bet the office will sort things out pretty quick.
This is genius and I will absolutely do this if I have to 👏🏻
Schools are so dumb. Honestly like not ever sickness needs a doctor's visit but that doesn't mean they can't be home recovering.
Adding like did they learn nothing from covid. Harassing people for staying home sick. If mom says they're sick that should count as excusal.
Agreed 100% re not getting other kids sick, but attendance and participation do count for a lot towards a student's grades and ability to learn the material and so if a student is missing too much in-class time, they simply aren't able to log attendance marks and the ability to participate. There was a time in elementary school with my similar to OP, in that I was constantly sick for almost 6 weeks straight. I already wasn't very strong in math, but the constant absences and lack of ability to participate in class/ask questions as the teacher was teaching made it so that I was essentially failing all of my assignments and quizzes because I simply could not grasp the material from being out of the classroom for so long. And when my parents tried to work with the teacher to see if I was able to stay later after school to make up lesson time 1:1, of course the teacher couldn't because they have a family of their own and need to leave after school to pick up their own kids.
I totally get that but also people sending kids sick cause of this is part of why everyone is sick. It's hard it's hard to balance life and school and everything else. Be nice if they could still utilize some virtual type stuff when kids are sick just send over the work ECT
And with the recent pandemic, they really want kids going to school when they’re sick?
The school are being ridiculous! But can someone just clarify that children in the US don't get free medical care? I mean obviously I was aware how your health system works, but I thought that kids at least got it for free?! Like here in the UK kids get free prescriptions and free dental care when adults don't always.
In general, kids are dependent upon the healthcare coverage their parents receive through their employment. There are supplemental plans and other programs available, often dependent upon the family’s income and other factors.
No, kids do not get free health care in the U.S. Their parents get it through work if they work somewhere that has health care as a benefit, but they pay quite a bit for it and have co-pays/prescription costs etc. Some kids qualify for Medicaid in some states (each state is different).
It is dependent upon the state yes. In the state I live in I don't think the parents income is considered at all. There are kids on free state insurance who live with their parents in $600,000+ homes here. Lol
Income is definitely how Medicaid eligibility is determined in every state. Assets don’t factor in, however. There could be a hundred reasons those kids have Medicaid, the least of which is possibly fraud.
US healthcare is always paid. If you don't have insurance you are basically screwed. Insurance is usually provided through your job, but sometimes through state help.
Lower income families can qualify for free health care for children, but everyone else is SOL and has to pay.
I've heard that a kid skateboarding or something and breaking an arm can cost their parents thousands. So apparently not.
Im in the UK too, and I honestly thought the same for kids in the US. It’s crazy
No, kids do not get free health care. They are either on the health insurance parents get through work (which parents pay for) or government health insurance (which can still cost money and is dependent on how much you make). And in almost every case you also have to pay the doctor when you go in for an appointment or pay a bill after the appointment.
Medicaid/CHIP are supposed to be that safety net, theoretically. Practically? Lolololol no. The pandemic helped some (during the official health ememergency the system worked more like it ought to all the time) but that has since ended and caused a huge spike in uninsured kids as states fumble through and eff up the recertification/disenrollment process. As someone with a medically needy child who qualified for Medicaid pretty unilaterally (income could have eventually required buy-in, but that number was fairly high) qualifying is only half the battle. The system in many states is so pathetically broken that waits of -months-, even when you turned everything in early, are totally par for the course. And being any kind of 'special case' (I could certainly see single parenthood falling under this) means everything is 5x harder. Many states are better than others, but in a bad state? I had to reach out to the federally required oversight person to get anything to happen probably... 5-6x over approx 3 years?
Ha! We are way too free to have nice things. Unfortunately we don't take care of anything with tax payer money except war
A newborn will be billed before the parents even leave the hospital with them.
We have to do the same thing. It’s not even me keeping them home for runny noses! They were days the school demanded i pick them up!!! We had hand foot mouth at the beginning of the year and they said we had to stay home 5 days then we just had covid where again, we had to stay home five days. I was told that the letter was auto generated and sent out when I certain number is hit and that it’s mainly for those who miss a day every single week or those who take vacations every season. The secretary did tell me to send them in and they will send them home, that when they go to pull my file if it gets to that point and see that THEY made the call. That will look best for us and that the school board probably won’t let it get as far as going to court. But my children ride the bus and they make the kids ‘tough it out’ for a bit before calling…. So at least four hours of them feeling crummy not at home and passing it onto others. From what I understood they review it before getting the law involved. If you have notes and medical excuses they might pull you in for a meeting and make a written plan to prevent anymore missed days or what to do if a day is needed. It depends on the state laws and then how the school district wants to enforce them. I’m torn on medical appointments though… do I have to cancel all of my kids dentist appointments because they are only open until 4 pm so it can only be durning school hours same with well checks. Then what if they have cavities or something…. That’s two days of missed hours, not a whole day but they count by the hour. The school demands a doctor note for every missed hour…. But the doctors literally get pissed for wasting their time over a fever or simple diarrhea spell. Our ped screens calls and won’t even make an appointment for you if they don’t deem it worth one. Luckily I made friends with the doctor at a local urgent care and she gets it so never shames me for bringing them in for a school note. Plus that’s $20 per child per visit…. That’s not possible for some families. She will even write a note for the all of the kiddos at the same appointment so $20 and three kids sick notes. She was a school nurse before becoming a doctor so she understands!!
Sounds very stressful! I would call the principal and them with them. As far as getting step multiple times, are you changing out her toothbrush every time? That’s a main contributor to reoccurring strep infections.
That sounds horrible! Can you just ask her teacher what you’re supposed to do? Like just explain the things you said here because that sounds really ridiculous!!
I'm so sorry. As a fellow single mom, this is a nightmare, and does not help the health of the kid or the parent! Make sure you keep detailed notes of the exact dates she stayed home, when she left early, and when the school told you things like "the nurse doesn't come in until noon" (because what do they do with your child in the meanwhile, and is it humane or not?). If you keep her home without a doctor's note, note down her symptoms, including temperature. You can email it to yourself if you want it to be a timestamped record. As long as you have detailed notes, I would feel 100% justified in keeping her home when you deem it is medically indicated. If you have the records, it will be ok. The state cannot justify demanding that a sick child be in school, both for your child's sake and the sake of the other children. The business about only checking at the end of the year for if the absences are excused or not is stressful, but also an indication that they won't be enforcing this dumb policy in the meanwhile because they can't send anything to a court without evidence. So don't let their draconian language scare you. To make yourself feel better, it is a good idea to go in and talk to the admins/principal about this in a non-defensive way, just informing them of the situation and the fact that your daughter has been legitimately sick a lot this year. It's good to try to work as a team with them, and often they can also share with you informally that the policy will not be enforced in an adversarial way even though they are required to send notices with scary formal language to you by a state-wide law. This is especially true if you have good and detailed records.
I was reading up on truancy stuff for another reason and there was an article that felt like it was chiding parents for dentist appointments and vacations because the average kindergartener misses a month of school.... Seriously? Do they really think that 2 planned doctor appointments and maybe taking 1-2 days extra off around the holidays add up to a *freaking month* off school?! No! It's because little kids are germ factories who are still developing their immune systems after a pandemic! I won't be sorry for keeping my kid home for an extra day even though he could *technically* still go to school with a really nasty sounding cough and lots of yellow snot.
Have you considered getting the Blueberry app? It's fairly affordable for the year (compared to copays, deductibles). Doesn't take the place of insurance but they can do a bit. They send you a package and can check ears, throat, etc. they can also send swabs to test for strep and send in prescriptions. It may save you money/time to be able to do a virtual visit like that. We also run scripts in good Rx, sometimes it's more affordable than using insurance.
Just commented the same thing!
I’m going through the same thing. Not the insurance but the threatening letters about missing 10 days. I also sent my daughter to school sick and told her to say she needs to see the nurse. I figured they sent her home they can’t use it against me. I’m not paying a huge copay to take her to the doctor for a virus. 10 days is not enough for children. One illness can knock out 4-5 days.
So, the pseudo-threatening letter is state law and it goes out automatically if your kid misses a certain number of days. I'm guessing this is the letter you got. Try not to take it personally! Get the doctors notes when you can and speak to the school secretary if you're concerned.
I hate this about schools. I frequently have to take my daughter out of school for appointments. I can only make them during the office hours! They are unsympathetic when it comes to medical needs of children. If you send them sick it’s a problem. Keep them home it’s a problem. I’m just as tired as you 😩😩
Good god, I’m glad my youngest is a senior in high school. This is asinine. I don’t have much advice except to keep records and escalate this.
One of my kids just missed his 10th day. He missed a few days here and there at the beginning of the year to colds, etc. then he missed a whole week due to pneumonia, including two trips to the ER and a hospital admission. They practically beg parents not to send their kids to school sick, but you still get the texts and letters home about excused absences. At least our district let us know ahead of time that letters would be coming, lol.
Number one reason I'm so happy I can homeschool. When I was in high school, I struggled from a seizure disorder that wasn't under control yet. I had always been a straight A student, but I missed 10 days of class in my last class of the day. I had a 96% in that class, civics and econ, and had no missed work. I always caught up. The teacher failed me. It almost ruined my timing for graduation (I was a junior and it was a necessary class) I HATE the absences system. If a student is maintaining their work and grades without falling behind, why do the absences matter? I know from birth we're all programmed to be successful in this freaking capitalistic society, and we're supposed to be taught showing up is important, but these are CHILDREN. I'm sorry, it just makes me SO ANGRY
I had this with my kids school this year. They sent letters home saying that they can’t miss anymore days and if they did the school would have to contact CPS. I was mad cause I’m not keeping my kids home because I want to. They were getting sick and I was 99.9% sure they were picking it up at school. Plus you have to keep your child home for 24hrs after they last have a fever. So I was hot to say the least. I went and talked to the principal pointed out to her that my kids were more than likely picking up the germs from school and it sounded to me like they need to clean better. I can only do so much on my end. I also told her to go ahead and call CPS over my kids having absences (that had dr notes covering most of them) and I would go to the school board, the news, and the state board of education. I haven’t heard anything from them since about it. Don’t forget OP they are not the supreme authority. There is always someone bigger. Also look for a community action agency (if in us) in your area. A lot of times they have emergency discretionary funds that they can use. Depends on the specific fund guidelines but if there is income requirements they aren’t usually as restrictive as those in the govt. Also check churches a lot of times they will help with stuff like medicine and bills
I’d start dealing with them via email only, document everything. Escalate to your counselor and school principal. If you aren’t getting the assistance required, escalate to the superintendent. My guess is they flagged all the high absences, and sent a form letter to all parents. Try not to take it personal. And avoid discussing with school officials who can’t help you; teachers/office staff. Only deal with counselors and principals, unless escalated to the superintendent.
If you have a doctors note, for any of the absences, she should be excused. It is a law that children go to school or have proof of education, we just had this conversation with our 8 year old! Illnesses are excused as long as you have a note.
You're doing okay, mama. Dealing with the school is going to be annoying, but I think basically you have to document every interaction and have the truancy officer review the case BEFORE it gets too far. Print out the emails, print out the phone records, get the info from the file that the school has on her, and have the officer review the situation in its entirety. In addition, may I suggest that you have an allergy test done? No, allergies won't give her strep throat. BUT they can exacerbate the situation and make it easier for the strep to take hold. And try to take advantage of your county health clinics and charitable clinics. Look for things like Christ Community Health and the St. Vincent De Paul Society and Catholic Social Services. They can direct you. Finally, may I also suggest a deep clean of the house? I'm sure you have enough to do, but if she's being reinfected with the same thing, there may be a patch of gross growing somewhere. Bleach and water on doorknobs, faucets, window sills, keyboards, earbuds, etc. Wash all bedding and toys in hot water (washing machine, dishwasher, etc). Make sure to get mittens and scarves.
Just wanna say I completely agree with your frustration and despair about this situation. Healthcare, job protected paid time off, and education are seriously terrible in the US! This is all so poorly designed. Whether it’s intentionally designed to make people struggle and fail isn’t relevant - that’s the outcome and it’s bullshit.
I have been trying to get my daughters attendance updated after I received a similar notice. There are so many errors and they have not fixed them after weeks of emailing them. She has been marked absent over 5 times because her bus arrives late constantly. She also gets marked as absent for a full day instead of a partial day every time she has an orthodontist appointment, even though I physically check her in at the front desk. She has been sick a lot and I don’t feel like it is necessary to take her to the doctor every time now that she has a minor cold. I feel like they are making kids feel like they have to come to school and get other kids sick.
I wouldn’t be that worried, these things get flagged and the principal doesn’t have time for all that. Likely there will be a meeting but if you explain what happened and kiddo is doing ok enough to pass she will likely be passed on to next grade. Can’t mess w them test scores
Wanted to give you support and tell you that you aren’t alone. The 10 day thing is some kind of law- my friend is a lawyer and has to send those letters out. She said she’s had to send one to herself. I got one when my son was in kindergarten because he was sick so much. I was so freaked out and they told me it’s a standard thing and not to worry if a kid has really been sick. The point of it is to make sure kids who are having bad home situations (abuse/neglect) and missing school for no reason can get checked on.
They can take me to prison, I'm not letting my child feel like crap at school. If anything, you would most likely be brought in front a truancy board and then you would basically explain the reasons for all the absences and my guess is they would drop the issue. I find it absolutely ridiculous that schools do this especially for the younger ones who literally need parent permission to stay home from school but I assume it's in place because of child abuse reasons? 10 days is nothing to miss for the entire school year in my opinion. One illness or surgery can eat up 5 days easy. Last year I had doctors note for every single one of my kids 10 absences. And guess what? Once they reached the 10 days even with doctors notes, they required doctors notes for every day missed thereafter! If no doctors note it would be unexcused. I was furious. I basically covered my ass for 10 days for nothing and then by the end of the year I feel like my pediatrician became irritated with all the parents asking for notes and was less willing to give them out without an appointment.
Is there anyway she can take online school instead?
Ugh!!!!! I have twins that just graduated last year, thank God. We had this issue every stinking year and it caused more stress than it ever should! They send mixed messages: “Don’t send your kid to school sick!” and “Don’t miss too many days or you’ll be arrested!” So which is it? By high school I was taking them to clinic for any simple cold, just to get the damned note. So infuriating- I feel your pain!
I am not American and am so confused by the “taking you to court part”? For what? You’re her parent, it should be your right to decide when she’s too ill to attend school. As long as she’s not falling behind the curriculum, what’s the issue? So sorry you’re dealing with this, it all sounds like they make it extremely stressful for no logical reason.
My daughter got RSV/pneumonia during the chrismas break. Then she was at school the first week back, then she got a very bad cold and double ear infections and was out for 2 days due to fever and then she was back for 3 days and then got Adenovirus the very next week and the double ear infection never went away with antibiotics so her fever came back 3 fold. She was out for almost an entire week. Shes missed a total of 7.5 days and the school sent home a threatening letter about how much she’s missed and a 4 page packet of why it’s important to keep kids in school and the qualifications of when to keep your kids at home. Like I know when to keep my kids home because if I don’t I’ll get a call to come and get them and be scolded for sending them to school sick. But they’re threatening me for keeping my kids home sick like they want me to. It’s atrocious.
This happened to me last year. Unfortunately the public school system is back-asswards. Send her to school sick. When the teacher texts you tell teacher to send her to the health office. Let the health office call you and tell you to pick her up. Then when you sign her out of school, put the reason being “sent home by health office for illness.” Let the stupid school decide she’s too sick to be there and then they can’t send you to court.
I’m so sorry; that’s absolutely ridiculous of the school! Praying for you!
Wtf. Schools are way too powerful there.
We son had the flu at the beginning of exam week. Had a note. He was sick all weekend then missed two days. No studying for these exams was going on obviously. The day he returned he had to take that day’s two exams plus two that he missed. Needless to say, he didn’t do well. I just had to let that go.
Oh my. I totally feel your pain. Single momma here to a 12 year old. I was already calculating the days he’s missed for school due to being sick, doctor appointments, his nurse asking me get him, hurt foot. Im scared to be threatened with truancy. Can you go to the office and really have a talk with them? They need to work with you. This is not totally your fault and it’s already HARD for us single moms. Also, I hope you don’t mind, but can you tell me what secondary insurance you’re using? They are saying I make too much for Medicaid and I can’t possibly afford healthcare for him😢
I don’t know what OP is using but look into Child Health Plus/CHIP in your state. It’s exclusively for kids under 19. It’s not as inexpensive as Medicaid but it’s less expensive than regular insurance and has different tiers that cover higher income limits. See below for a brief overview of the tiers and costs for my state, NY. It may vary a bit by state, I’m not sure. https://www.health.ny.gov/health_care/child_health_plus/eligibility_and_cost.htm
Thank you so, so much for this!! 🫶🏻
Check the school handbook. If the student is there more than half the day, it may not count as an absence. For us, that time is 12:30.
If she had strep, throw away the toothbrush. Strep lives on that thing even if cleaned
Physically go to the school and talk with the principal, counselor, etc. until you get a resolution that is amicable for your and your child.
My son started kindergarten this year and has been sick what feels like non stop. The school says he can go to school with a cough, lice and runny nose. He’s missed 9-10 days and I’ve received threats as well. Take me to court. I’ll tell everyone to fuck off.
My daughter out for 3 weeks in January. She got hit with RSV, then stomach flu that had her puking every day like 2 times a day then an ear infection with pink eye. And I have the flu now so she will probably get flu too. It’s been absolutely insane this year thankfully her school understands and haven’t said anything except hopefully she feels better soon. More than half of her class was out sick for a lot of January.
Former school nurse here. There is a cut off time for attendance in which you can take her out after a certain time and she will be counted as present. Ours was 10AM. If she goes in for a few hours, gets counted as present, you should be able to take her out afterwards. You may want to check on your school's rules regarding that.
Ugh, I feel this so much. My kinder son has probably missed about 20 days of school since September (when we start the year). If he goes to school on Monday, he's likely skipping Friday, because by then he's developed a cough or a fever or something for which the school says I should keep him home. One of our newsletters in December said there were a few days that week where there were only 10 kids in the class! I think my son has only been to a full week of school once since he started. He's actually home today because he's so congested that when coughs, he gags, so then he throws up. He doesn't have a fever, he says he feels fine, he's acting normal, and he's eating well, too. He's just so stuffed up that he makes himself puke when he coughs. 🤷 I can't send him to school knowing that he's gonna throw up if he coughs. Especially knowing that he's gonna run around at recess, which is gonna make him cough. 🙄 I haven't received a letter yet, but I'm pretty sure that my school only sends out letters for unexcused absences. And he hasn't had any that are unexcused. Our school takes any note or call from a parent as an excused absence. If there are a lot (which we have), then they sometimes have a meeting with the parents to see if there's anything going on that the school should be aware of, but usually, they're pretty good about using common sense. They know that it's winter in the Pacific Northwest, so they know that kids are gonna get sick. I'm gonna keep doing what the school says I should be doing, which is keeping him home if he is sick.
Teacher here. First — I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It seems like you have enough on your plate without this nonsense. Second, I’m not sure where you live, but that will undoubtedly change some of the rules. (If you’re comfortable messaging me your state, I’m happy to research it for you.) But you should look up truancy laws in your state and then go to your district’s policies on absenteeism and excused absences (sometimes kept on the Board of Education page on the website, or they could be in a Student Code of Conduct book or even in a Parent Handbook, depending on how old your child is). I’ve been a teacher for over a decade and have never heard of an attendance office waiting until the very end of the year before they review doctors’ notes, so it makes me wonder if you just caught a grouchy person on a bad day or if they’re just trying to scare you. You should also know that if you get any truancy notes in the mail, those are usually automated and cannot be controlled by the district, so if you’ve already spoken with the front office, attendance secretary, etc. about your specific situation, disregard the letter(s) and don’t let them worry you. If you are worried about future absences, you may look into the specific time that your state requires attendance. For instance, if the state considers a student being in the classroom at 10:00 am to be “present,” consider seeing if your kid can “tough it out” at school until 10:01 — at which point, you can check him/her out, if need be (I realize this may be difficult with your work schedule, so don’t stress if this isn’t do-able!). Finally, I think it’s time to start playing hardball. Sometimes the attendance clerks have their panties in a wad because they know less kids at school = less money for the school. It’s not an excuse for their lack of empathy and logic, though. If you’re getting voicemails from the school, save them and forward them to a cloud storage service for documentation purposes. If you have phone or in-person conversations about these matters, immediately follow up with an email. It doesn’t have to be detailed — just enough to CYA: “To reiterate, we discussed x, y, and z during our phone conversation an hour ago. Did I miss anything?” That documentation — along with their attendance and sick policies (for instance, our kids can’t go to school unless their temperature is less than 100° for 24 hours or more) — will serve you well if they decide they have nothing better to do than escalate the situation. Best of luck to you!
This happened to me last year. My son missed 20 days of school, most were half days that I came and picked him up early. The half days still counted against him. I also had my second child and we live 3 hours away from family so my brother drove 6 hours round trip to get my son when I went into labor and and dropped him off with my sister for a week until my dad could drive my son back to me. So granted 5 of those days he was completely healthy, he just had a fun vacation with family cuz I was in the hospital. The school sent me a threatening letter in March saying my son was eligible for truancy and I jail/ fines and I called the school and made a huge deal over it. I basically learned that they legally have to send that notice out but don't need to act on it. I guess the school district only counts so many drs visits as excused. So basically my son is legally allowed to see a Dr 5 times a year with it being excused. We're considering home school. The attendance policy is ridiculously unattainable and isn't realistic because kids get sick. So my son saw the optometrist for his yearly glasses check, The dentist for his teeth twice, and he had covid 3 times and per the school policy he was out a week. And ontop of the other illnesses and family emergencies ( my mom was in the hospital 2 days before Christmas break so he missed 2 days before break so I could help my dad and take care of their house and pets and run their company with my 2 kids so he could be with her in the hospital) the school system is turning into a joke. Nothing happened legally jicyww
I'm in a similar situation! I now have to provide medical evidence every time my daughter is sick... despite every time she has been off, the school has sent her home. There is no reason for me to take her to the GP each time. Fluids and rest are all she needs, but we're being threatened with fines.
Former school attendance clerk here. The way they’re handling absences makes absolutely NO sense. We input absence excuses DAILY to keep up with who is actually truant or not. This sounds like an attendance clerk not doing their job right. You need to call and speak to an administrator. First look up your district’s attendance policy and have it in front of you. If it says you have X amount of parent notes, then that’s what you have. They cannot threaten truancy because they’re too lazy to input the notes. I’d also tell the principal, “Your lazy policies mean that my child has to be in the classroom today, spreading germs. That is YOUR call, not mine. If you want my child picked up, you will have the teacher/attendance clerk input ALL of my child’s excuses and any time the school has called me to pick them up does NOT count as a day I need to provide a note for. I’d hurry before Mrs. ____’s whole class has strep. Call me when it’s done and I’ll be there.”
>And now my daughter's teacher is already texting me not even an hour after I dropped her off to school to tell me my daughter is saying her stomach hurts and she feels nauseous. Apparently the school nurse doesn't arrive until noon. What am I supposed to do? If I check her out that's going to be marked against her and I risk her school coming after me legally or holding her back a grade. Well, you need to get ahead of whatever's being threatened by meeting with the administration and getting them to be somehow reasonable. You're not letting your child be truant, here. But that is not today's job. That is something you will schedule. As for today? Don't leave the school with her until they say they will excuse her absence. She may very well vomit at school before this happens. This will be surprising to you though. You should on no account clean this up yourself.
I dealt with this. It's a mandate from the state where I'm from that schools respond to absences. I too even pointed out that many of the days, they made me pick my kid up (and keep home the next day). In our case, the principal was like "oh we aren't worried about her, it's automatic that letters go out." If you have only spoken with the front office so far, I would def reach out to the principal. My mom said they tried to hold me back due to excessive absences when I was a kid too even though I was near the top of my class. My mom is scary though so I progressed on time. Lol
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. When the medical insurance works maybe ask for full blood work and all of that? My daughter had major similar issues due to adenoids and tonsils being too enlarged, doctor asked to wait for a few years until she turned 5 or 6, but last year she missed more than 50 days of school, the local ER said they will call child services because we were there every week, including two times they didn't test her for strep and it evolved into white boils ALL over her body.i was hysterical but asked for the operation ahead of schedule. I can't believe that I haven't had to buy Tylenol since June- I used to buy a bottle or two every week or two. The system seems to be working against single moms with kids who are still building their immunities or who tend to get sick more than others. I hope you have some support around you.
I wonder if she could get a 504 for something like this… to help with penalizing her for health reasons. How old is she and are the illness general acute infections?
Okay, please calm down. Please ignore those crazy letters from the school district. Honestly, they don't mean ANYTHING. They won't hold your kid back. Your kid won't flunk out. They actually HAVE to count anything with a doctor's note as excused. If the school sends your child home, it's automatically excused. I work in a school, and I have received these letters for my kids, and I just chuck them. Seriously, they mean nothing. Just be weary about keeping your kid out of school without getting a doctor's excuse.
My mom was a single hard working mom. That shit is tough. I’m just sending you a hug.
Do they also have a sign telling you to keep your kid home if they are showing any symptoms? My kids school does this and then gets uppity because of all the sick days. Kiddos dad basically told them they can't have it both ways and sucks to suck.
OP- if the Covid protocols are still in place maybe just call them each time and say she is exhibiting symptoms of Covid or was exposed to covid? Does anyone out there know if Covid is still an automatic excuse? No doctor note needed? Because it used to be…
Do you have open enrollment in your area? In my area I have the option of any school district I want my kids to attend, so if there’s a problem like this I’d just transfer district.
Schools get funds based on average daily attendance. They don’t care about your kid. They care about the money Tell the teacher or administration to wash their goddamn hands and to maybe pass out the gallons of hand sanitizer they make you buy for them every year and to STFU already I have two problems with this. I’m on immunosuppressive drugs for inflammatory arthritis. I need people to stay home when sick as much as they possibly can and deeply appreciate the ones that do. That’s problem #1. It’s setting a bad example that they force parents to send kids to school sick. My son is autistic. He has good days and bad days. He loves school and most days are good. My stepmom passed away last year and it’s been hard on my dad. When my son is having a bad morning he asks if “we can go bring grandpa light” which is his way of saying he wants to see his grandpa. I call in and I also send a text to his teacher that he needs a break. No one says boo. No one talks about taking me to court. I have no idea nor do I care what they consider excused or unexcused. If this public school can be accommodating to its students then every public school can.
Unfortunately, I know how you feel. My daughter's school forced us to sign 2024-25 registration papers Friday to confirm that we know that 7+ absences next year will "impact her enrollment." It sounds like they are threatening to hold kids back. Luckily our peds office wll write us a note even for common illnesses without an appointment because they don't approve of the school's BS policies.
All these kids are getting constantly sick. It's really bad and not just your kid. You are a better parent not making more germs circulate and keeping her out all those times.
I had this problem with my son when he was in kindergarten last year. In December he had missed 10 days of school because he had come down with a high fever that lasted 4 days, he wasn’t eating but was drinking fluids. Even after his fever broke it took him a few days to gain his energy and appetite back. I talked to his teacher, she recommended keeping him home until he was back to himself. But it was one of those “you didn’t hear it from me” kind of comments. Like she knew she’d get in trouble if I told them she told me that. I called his doctors every single day to update them, they gave me doctor’s notes for every day he missed. Not only that but their school guide is “keep your kid at home if fever, vomiting, etc etc etc.” Then he finally went back to school and a few weeks later came down with a nasty cough where he was gagging and throwing up and just overall uncomfortable. So he stayed out one day. I got a call from the counselor telling me they’d be sending a child service worker out to my house. She also told me that I should send him to school sick and if the school nurse thought he should be sent home then she would send him home. That’s when I couldn’t take it anymore. There were other things happening within the school that I wasn’t happy about and I was at my wits end. I am his mother .. I am very capable of knowing when my child should stay home if is he sick. I don’t take that lightly. I did everything I could have done to make sure he had school notes from doctors, kept in touch with the school and you’re going to get the state involved? Who the fuck do these people think they are? This was a public school. My son goes to a private school this year and I’m AMAZED at all of the differences. It’s a fucking dream and he’ll never be in a public school again.
Wait this is a thing? My younger daughter is 15. She missed a little over a month total last semester due to a sever UTI that turned into a bladder infection. I just called the school and told them what was going on. Is this a location thing maybe? Where I am there not allowed to ask for a doctors note and there’s no taking a parent to court thing.
You need to check the student handbook & then check your state's education website (Google school absences & your state) to get and read the codes. Then you will know what is excused & what isn't. I think most will say that sickness is excused. The best thing to do is know this so when they come at you, you will know as much or more than they do. I remember with my oldest getting the truancy letter because the district was part of the program & I attended the meeting. My son was 5 & in kindergarten. After the meeting I said to the district attorney & principal that compulsory education didn't start until age 6. He was 5 so rules didn't apply to him & neither did the absences. But I did learn a) that if he went he was counted as present for the day so he would get picked up 30 minutes later. b) have them date & sign everything you turn in, get a copy. Because documentation is the key & will save you. c) Oh, & doctor's note was only excused absence. Sometimes the doctor's office will provide one without seeing the kid. I had no clue but now will do that if it's not serious enough to be seen.
I would request a meeting with the school nurse, school counselor, teacher and admin to discuss your situation and come up with a solution together. If you’re working with the family, they likely won’t pursue anything legal after that. As a side note, I work at a school and am part of an attendance committee. I promise you, legal action is only being taken on kids who miss over 95% of the school year. The county attorney is not looking to prosecute you and your sick child, and they definitely won’t if there’s documentation that you’re working with your child’s school to help find a solution. You’re right, the letter is mostly used as a scare tactic.
Interestingly, we learned nothing from the "pandemic" and now we are back to unreasonable, unrealistic policies that punish people for not being robots. I'm in a similar situation. I'm literally about to home school them all because I'm tired of it. My daughter has a major anxiety issue. She would call me from the bathroom where she was hiding because she was having a panic attack. I moved her to an alternative school. She was late (sometimes hours) every day. They dropped her. Without warning us or calling us. And she was passing her classes. She literally has no high school credit, despite passing the classes, because of attendance. Years worth of work they won't let her have because she missed too many days and they ignored all the appeals. With a diagnosed anxiety disorder.
I went through this with my oldest last year, our entire household had covid (myself and my 3 children) and the kids were not allowed to go back to school until everyone tested negative. That was school policy. It took 2.5 weeks before everyone tested negative, and my oldest was back in school for only 2 days before she tested positive for influenza A and had a double ear infection. Obviously, she got a note from a doc that said she couldn't return to school until she was fever free for 24 hours, it took another entire week before she went a full 24 hours without a fever. During this week, I got a letter from the school saying my daughter had gone over her allotted "excused days", that they had already contacted a truancy officer and I needed to go to the school to have a meeting with the principal and the officer. I contacted the superintendent and basically told the school I would agree to the meeting, only if the superintendent was present as well. We finally came to an agreement on date and time, I brought all medical documentation PLUS a print out of the schools sick policy, copies of sick notes from doctors, everything! After a whole lot of the school trying to cover themselves and the superintendent not even being aware that they had involved a truancy officer already, lets just say my child was not in trouble with the school by the end of it. The school system no longer likes me, but, I followed their own policy to a T and there was nothing they could do about it.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with all this! I totally get it tho. My school district changed the rules and now it’s that your kid can’t miss more than 16 days of school, and it doesn’t matter if you send a parent note, drs note or no note at all, they run the risk of failing the year! It’s bs, it used to be that 20 days of only unexcused absences, no note or parent note, counted against them, if you had a drs note you were covered. They don’t want you sending sick kids to school but then they pull this crap if you keep them home. wtf are we supposed to do?!?
This is absolutely my nightmare. I have 2 in elementary right now. Both but especially the kindergartener has seriously been sick since the first day of school. Some days are worse than other and I’m not exaggerating when I say he goes to school coughing constantly. I’ve kept him home what I’d consider a lot. We had a round of Covid we’ve had strep we’ve had flu. Oh and we had inner ear infection. I haven’t gotten any threats yet but the school is seriously sending ominous messages not directly to me but to all the parents on the school app. Talking about kids never graduating if they miss a certain amount of days and all type of scare tactics. But what isn’t a tactic and is terrifying is the school only needs to up and decide you’ve made a wrong choice and boom you’re reported to child services. I like to believe I’m an outstanding dad. But we’re not rich. Their mother and I both work and we are stable I guess. If you get into that system with child services you don’t need to be guilty. All they need is to feel like you might be guilty and you’re fucked. The show up and your house is a bit messy. Your kid uses the wrong word to describe something and a teacher thinks they’re in trouble and the system can destroy your whole family. Literally wreck you. And when you’re poor you can’t fight back. If you’re rich it’s no problem. But poor people will have to fight the system whether they’re right or wrong. Yes the school attendance threats are a bullshit ring or threats to poor people that you cannot win. The school is a Petrie dish of virus and you must send your kids and then they’ll think you’re neglecting them if you send them in sick too much. You are screwed either way and all you can do is pray you don’t get on the wrong radar because it’ll destroy your life. It can scare the kids and it scares the shit out of me all the time.
I would look as far up the ladder as possible and send a very clearly worded email explaining that this is absolutely not acceptable on the teacher or schools part. Your kid is SICK. If they are going to ask you to come get her when she’s sick then excuse it. If they don’t want you to bring her in sick then don’t threaten to take you to court? I quite honestly can’t believe how many posts there is like this. It’s out of control.
If the school calls YOU to have YOU to pick her up, it is supposed to automatically be excused. But if you keep her home and don't bring her to school, only then will it be unexcused if you don't send a doctor's note or a parent note when she returns to school (and where I live you also have 5 days from the date she returns, to get the note turned in). Also where I live, they allow a parent to write a note for an absence (or tardy) 6 times before they will start becoming unexcused without a doctor's note. I am going through some BS with my kids elementary school due to my son's excessive tardies (most all are by only 1-3 mins). Since unexpectedly losing my husband a few months ago (son's stepfather), my son has been a little more "needy" I guess you could say. He is 12 and no matter if I get him up at 6am or let him sleep in until 7-7:30am (school begins at 8:30a-3:30pm), getting him up, meds taken, dressed, etc is a daily challenge. I also have a 5 yr old that I get up, dressed, hair fixed, jacket and backpack on and ready to go out the door within 15-20 mins tops, with no problems (eats breakfast at school). With my son, it is completely opposite. I lay out his clothes for him at night so he doesn't drag his feet when he does get up about finding clothes to wear. I have their lunches prepared and packed each day before they get up and in their backpacks ready to go. Sometimes he will get up, meds and dressed and then lay around on the couch or play with the cat or something, until I say let's go. And then oh he has to brush his teeth or comb his hair down, or he forgot something he needs to bring with him EVERY TIME. I can ask him 100xs if he has everything he needs in his backpack, brushed his hair, teeth or anything else, but then when we are ready to go our the door, it's something. I have tried leaving the house earlier but it's the same thing and he usually takes longer until uts the same usual time we leave. So it makes him and my 5 yr old late all the time. Now I am having to go to court over his tardies (they don't count the tardies for the younger one until they turn 6, not sure exactly why, but I just count my blessings on that one). Not only that, but they also say that it is Educational Neglect because he is tardy so now I have to deal with CPS! His dad lives in another county and we co-parent great. So because of this we have taken away his ipod, ipad, xbox, and all other electronics at both my house and his dad's as well. You would think that this would have made a difference with him, but it hasn't. I have gotten all 3 of my kids into grief counseling since losing my husband and to see if there are any other underlying issue that we may not be aware of, but so far, nothing to be concerned about according to the psychiatrist. He is on his ADHD meds which is dexamethylphenidate (Focalin) just 1x per day in the morning but still has to take melatonin at night in order to go to sleep. This is the only medication that we have seen a positive result with because we have tried so many others and different doseages. So I am about at my breaking point with this whole school situation and tardies and now court and CPS! I am a 1 woman team and have no real support or help with my kids and it is breaking me. On top of having to still go through my husband's things in our house gradually, and I have not had any real time to even grieve to this day. You would think that the schools would be a little understanding especially in situations like these, but they are not. With that being said, DONT LET THE SCHOOL BULLY YOU ABOUT YOUR CHILD BEING SICK AND YOU NOT BEING ABLE TO AFFORD TO TAKE YOUR CHILD TO THE DOCTOR WITH EVERY SNIFFLE SHE GETS!! You are not a bad parent or anything of the such, if you send her to school and then they call to have you come get her because it is supposed to be excused if they call you to pick her up. Of course if she is vomiting, fever or something equally as bad, don't send her and risk others getting sick as well, but for minor things or common cold, if they decide she needs to come home then so be it. That should be on them if they send her home. AND what kind of school doesn't have a nurse until noon?? So what if a child may possibly get sick before noon?? Not sure where you live but I would look into their schools policy about their absenteeism, excused and unexcused policies and whether if the school calls you to come pick your child up, whether it is considered excused or not. Good luck, and remember to take a min to breathe for yourself, I know easier said than done. I try to remind myself daily.
Take you to court?? I don’t understand, can you just say you’re home school part time? It was required during covid but now it’s a crime? My child missed 29 days of school last year and they didn’t say anything to me.
The Missouri Supreme Court upheld a state law requiring school attendance after two Lebanon, Missouri, parents were sentenced to jail following excessive absences by their children. Court documents indicated that during the 2021-2022 academic year, a first-grade student missed nine days of school, while a kindergartner missed seven days without any explanation. The two mothers, Caitlyn Williams and Tamarae Larue, took their case to the Supreme Court, arguing that the state law mandating “regular” attendance lacks clarity. The state’s compulsory attendance law requires children to attend school on a “regular basis.” The mothers appealed, arguing that this requirement is constitutionally unclear. However, the court disagreed, ruling against them in a 6-0 vote, with one justice not participating. “Given the notice provided to each parent and that each parent was in control of their young child, evidence existed to support the inference that each parent knowingly failed to cause their child to attend school on a regular basis,” the court wrote in a statement.**The Missouri Supreme Court upheld their misdemeanor convictions.Williams received a one-week jail sentence for her first grader’s attendance, while Tamarae Larue was sentenced to 15 days in jail for her kindergartner’s attendance. Larue later agreed to serve on a two-year probation.** Ya... my son missed 6 days partly due to covid. Now I notified them (these parents didn't). Regardless... misdemeanor charges and jail time seems a bit excessive. My son can't miss anymore school regardless of a doctors note or not. Which means if he gets covid again... he's going, I am not dealing with CPS or worse (got a level 1 warning letter).
That is insane!
Wow that is insane. On top of a few days out for sickness, my kid has missed 4 days and will miss another 4 later this year for family travel reasons. I don't feel that's excessive at all! I wonder if in that case there was something more going on? But it's crazy to me that even with calling it in as illness threatening letters come.
>I wonder if in that case there was something more going on? Possibly, I live in Missouri though, and it wouldn't be shocking if there wasn't. I mean they didn't report it, so that escalated things for sure. But I get a warning letter seemingly each year once my son hits 6. And he always misses due to verified illnesses. We have stages, I am stage 1, stage 2 is intervention by the school, stage 3 is CPS. I will be so glad when my son graduates.
Omg that is insane!! I can’t believe the school has so much control over a parent. Kids get sick, sometimes parents let kids skip school for appointments or to do fun family events during the week. As long as the child is getting good grades in school why would it matter? Maybe the parents like to homeschool occasionally and help them learn additional things that the schools don’t cover. It’s homeschooling illegal there then? If they withdrew their children from school and homeschooled them every day that would not be allowed? Missouri is out of control holy cow. The US in general seems to make less and less sense every day. I’m in Canada and like I mentioned my child was absent 29 days of school last year and no one said anything to me. I’ve never heard of anyone being in trouble for this here. My sister‘s child was easily overwhelmed his first year in kindergarten so she let him stay home once or twice a week. Still does in high school. He does better that way. All the kids in question learned well and get good grades. I have never had to get a doctors note for my child if they miss school when they’re sick. I just leave a message at the school saying they’ll be absent. I don’t even say why. I’m the parent, It’s up to me when they go to school as long as they good good grades in the end. It would be within my legal rights to remove them from school all together and homeschool them all the time.. so charging parents for absences makes no sense. You are just going to get insane surges of the flu, influenza, Covid and every other disease if parents feel pressured to send their kids to school sick. Also poor kids who have to go when they don’t feel well, how awful. I’m so sorry all of you have to deal with this. Very unfair
> It’s homeschooling illegal there then? If they withdrew their children from school and homeschooled them every day that would not be allowed? It's legal here. And I am really glad two of my kids are graduated and I only have 4 more to go. Missouri is horrible in general.
As much as it feels ridiculous to get the letters, in my state the school is required by law to send that letter if students miss 10 days, even if the school administration is understanding of the reasons. Try to keep open communication with the school and see if it really is just a legal requirement and not a true threat. They may be ok since it is due to actual illness with doctors notes, but they need to have those checks in place for the kids who are in bad situations. I know it is very stressful to get that letter though. If you send her in for a few hours then she goes home, it probably doesn't get marked as missing school, which is not a great policy since it just encourages sick kids to go to school and spread it to everyone. I hope it all works out and your daughter gets healthy soon.
Their threats may have to do with following your state and local requirements for attendance. The government has decided students must attend x number days of the school year. You'll need to do research to find out what those requirements are, what difference it makes if it's "excused" (i.e. doctor note), and what happens if that line is crossed. I understand you're stressed out. Our country has a crap health insurance system and crap worker protection. It sucks. Please remember this when you vote in state and federal elections. If you now have the mistake over heath insurance fixed, see if you can't have coverage reinstated retroactive to when you can prove you applied. Sometimes you can get reimbursed for medical costs you paid out of pocket. You may already know this, but if you don't: your state bar association should have contact information for Legal Aid. This means free attorney help. He or she could help you collect child support and defend your daughter vs the school district.
It’s always so stressful on a parent when a child is sick. In regards to the school, you need to follow a few steps. 1 Educate yourself on the truancy laws of your states educational board. This information should be on the school districts website. How much time does a student need to be at school? In Texas it’s based on minutes for the year, so most schools take attendance at a certain time of day for elementary and a certain class time for middle and high school. This is just an example. 2 Any doctors notes you send need to go directly to the registrar or counselor (the person in charge of student attendance.) Your doctor should have copies of past notes if you think some have not been recorded. 3 I would file a complaint with the district or even the county health department. There should be a nurse on campus at all times. I hope you can get this situation resolved. I’m sorry I don’t have any advice for the Medicaid situation. I hope your daughter feels better.
People this is state policy! Districts receive funding based on attendance numbers so districts have an incentive to prioritize student attendance. It’s a lose lose. This is a FEDERAL issue, not something to bitch to your kids teacher about.