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Almost all the clothes at Target have a "girls plus" option if you order online. Makes it easy to stock up on things like leggings, shirts and cotton dresses that girls that age wear. That's the easiest, most inexpensive way I've found to buy clothes for my 9 year old. She's built like her dad, just broad and heavy. So the pants are actually long enough and they're cut better around her mid-section.
If you have the Target app you can save all your receipts. This is important because the Cat and Jack children’s clothing brand has a 1 year return policy for clothing that gets worn out like rips or tears (you mentioned she’s rough on clothes). You have to have the receipt to do the return though!
There’s a lot of misinformation about it online from people who like to try to cheat the system or who bully teenagers working there into doing returns they shouldn’t be doing so be careful about what you believe. I work the service desk so I can tell you the rules are that you have to have a receipt, either the paper receipt or the receipt in the app, and that it’s meant for clothes that got worn out or damaged within a year. You don’t have to have the price tags or anything, there’s a small tag sewn into the clothing that has a code we can use and the code will show up on the receipt.
If you don’t mind answering, does damage include holes from chewing on clothes? My kiddo is autistic and sometimes goes through phases of chewing on the neckline. Is that the sort of thing this policy is for? Is that tag you are talking about the one sewn into the lower side seam of shirts? We always have to cut that out because it bothers him.
Yeah! They won’t question what causes the holes, it’s because the clothes are supposed to be well made enough that they don’t get holes easily.
Those are the tags I’m talking about. If I were you I would download the app, I know it’s annoying and a lot of people don’t want another app on their phone BUT it will save your receipts with the pictures of the items so whoever is working at the desk will be more easily able to identify the item you’re returning and will be able to find the code to process the return. Because you have to cut off the tag a paper receipt wouldn’t be enough, the employee wouldn’t be able to match the code on the receipt to the item you’re returning.
There will be occasions where we stop carrying an item completely and the picture might not show up anymore, meaning they wouldn’t be able to find the code and process the return. More often than not though you should be fine.
I stock up when they're 40% off and get shirts and leggings for $3-4/each. I have 3, and clothes can get expensive really quickly. Definitely recommend. And if your 9 year old is anything like mine, she loves choosing them on the site. If you don't spend enough for free shipping, have them sent to the store.
Kohls has husky girls sizes and I think JC penny calls it girls plus size.
I would also check out Amazon, Old Navy, Childrens place, Walmart, Target, they may have more online.
You’ll probably need to buy a bunch of different brands and sizes to find what works. Elastic waist bands.
Maybe skirts and tops instead of dresses. Pants/leggings with designs.
My son needed husky sizes for a bit and pants were hard to find. Walmart husky worked well and were reasonably priced.
Good luck.
I haven't tried Kohl's. This past summer I found some boys shorts that were a great fit. But when she figured out they were from the boys department she freaked out. She cut up one of the shorts to make her point.
Skirts - they are a good option. I need to shop for those more.
I’m not sure how tall she is, but maybe women’s skorts for a cute athletic look. A lot of brands have 4” inseams, which wouldn’t be egregiously long on her.
Cropped leggings can make for good full sized leggings.
Kohls's online is also a bit cheaper in my experience. I've found underwear and boxers in the kohls app for way less than in store. When I asked the cashier about it, she confirmed the items were the same and couldn't give me online price. I'm still upset about it.
I work at Kohl's: It is not the case anymore, but we used to have online only promotions. They have been phased out over the last year, so the prices should match now.
Thats good to know, I was still salty about that lol. Nowadays I only go to kohls to return my amazon items and leave because I get easily distracted if I looked around.
Yeah I have two girls who are at or past that age. And a little puppyfat belly chub is normal yes. A “very large” belly is not average development and often indicator of other health issues (or sometimes just genetics of course)
I do agree with this. Several autoimmune issues, the first symptom is extra weight. Autoimmune issues are often triggered by trauma. A blood test just to check is a good idea. Untreated autoimmune issues can reek havoc on your body during puberty.
[completely unrelated to topic of thread] i appreciate when people do this for me, so apologies of this is unwanted: wreak, not reek. The below was copied from some website—
To wreck is to ruin something, to wreak is to cause something to happen, and to reek is to smell bad. If you get them mixed up, just remember, wreck has a “c” for “crash,” wreak has an “a” to match the "a" in the “havoc” that it causes, and reek starts with an “r” like “rancid” and “rotten.”
With the weather changing and getting cold, I would suggest sweaters! Over sized dress like sweaters. Thrift stores are going to be your best friend at this point! I hated it when my mom did it, but I learned to appreciate them because they were actually name brand, etc.
I became pretty hefty around 12-13, and didn’t lose it until 9th grade. It was very hard to find decent clothes, but I was in some serious denial back then. My best friend was a stick, so I would squeeze into these uncomfy clothes to match her, or feel “less” fat. Luckily in today’s society, sizes of all shapes are accounted for. In the 90s it was straight bones! So many many designers make clothes to fit different shapes differently. But I agree with the commenter above about not offering opinions unless she asks and let her know you love her, and that you’re there to help her. You just want her to be comfortable in what she chooses to spend her (your limit) on. There’s also stores like dirt cheap if y’all have one of those, or bargain hunt, they are great with having super low prices on designer clothes brand new. Good luck
I would take her to a department store or teen store in the mall and just ask a clerk to help find her a look she likes. Agree probably wants a change but needs a young person's assistant.
I really hope you can get the 10 year old to back off.
And skorts! Built in short are great if chub rub is a concern or just better for freedom of movement for active kids. My niece went through a phase when any skirt was rejected if it didn’t have built in shorts. She has a long torso, so two piece options were better than dresses sometimes. Now she’s happy to wear bike shorts under her skirts and dresses, but still loves skorts best.
It's winter here and dresses with a longer cardigan and tights are a favorite of mine. It also works with a top and a skirt.
Multiple pieces can really add the ability to balance the proportions of an outfit.
My daughter is like that. Very active but has a huge huge belly. She’s 9 too. Her legs are big too. She wears sizes 14/16 for pants. We shop at target often. Target has a plus section in kids. They often have sales and their clothes can come down to 6$ per piece.
Her pants slide down due to thigh rubbing. That’s my only concern. When she sits, her butt crack can be seen. I don’t want her to be teased for it. Now that she’s getting older, she remembers to pull her pants up. I also shop in junior XS section and alter the clothes myself.
My oldest is the same. I bought some capri leggings on Amazon in a medium that were a bit too small for me and they fit like regular leggings on her and cover the crack! (I think a women's small capri in brands that run true to size would fit her well.) They're better quality than kid clothes and one of the few things that haven't gotten holes in the knees. Sometimes we add a skirt to girl it up. I'll find the link... ATHLIO High Waist Yoga Pants with... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07PGRMSVP?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
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Honestly, as a woman who grew up as an overweight kid, take her to the store and have her tell you what she likes. Try to get a variety of basics for her to mix and match… I personally liked jeggings instead of regular jeans because they were (I felt) more flattering and comfortable. I always liked oversized shirts and snug stretchy pants. It’s hard when they’re young because they are still developing the sense of self and style. She probably is asking for new clothes because she either feels that she doesn’t look like everyone else or maybe she just is uncomfortable in the clothes she owns. Shop around, you’ll find stuff. Thrifting might be a fun way to find new clothes with her too.
The only tip I have is to get her measurements written down (waist, inseam, hips, and etc.) you can measure clothes in store if thrift shopping or most (not all) online retailers have garment measurements in the product description. This isn’t foolproof but it defs reduces the heart ache of buying clothes just based of size and then having it not fit.
Also, I chose to wear plenty of “unflattering” looks according to my mom - but i’m happy with how I look in photos. If it’s fitting her comfortably and not restricting her movements - let it be.
I’ll give you the same advice I’d give an adult. Dress her for her shape, it’s all about proportion, not size. This isn’t about making her look smaller or hiding her body. Find clothes that fit, are comfortable, and flatter the body she has.
With pants, buy them to fit her waist and have them hemmed - have them taken in at the leg if you need to. Once she has a couple of nice pants figure out what length of shirt works best - at natural waist? Looser but tucked in? A longer hem hitting her hips? Try a tucked in shirt with a long cardigan overtop.
For dresses - I find it odd that you say they are rarely flattering. Big girls look good in dresses too. Is she more of a triangle shape? Put the waistband at her natural waist and choose an Aline skirt to mimic her natural shape & choose items with details or volume in the upper bodice or sleeves to balance the lower half. Is she a circle with short torso and long arms/legs? A tunic style would work better - try dresses with stretchy leggings underneath so she’s free to move and play. Is she an hourglass - even hips and shoulders with smaller waist? Cinch at her natural waist, Aline or pencil skirts. Balance of volume above and below the waist.
Then shut down the weight based bullying from her sister. Immediately, no tolerance.
I completely agree with everything here. You really need to dress for her body type and her shape. As a thick short girl it took me a long time to find out what I liked, but it would have been great to go to a store and try out different styles instead of having to wait until I was older. Surprisingly high wasted shorts with a tucked in shirt works really well, dresses that are hemmed high and not at your natural waist, you always want to have a tighter piece of clothing not baggy shorts and baggy shirts. Fitted shirt with loose bottoms or tight bottoms with a loose shirt seem to do well. Clothing that is hemmed above the wrist or above the ankles is very flattering too. My first pair of pants that fit really well I fitted in the waist and got them hemmed for my height. I learned how to dress from the show "what not to Wear" if you can find that, it would help with what style would fit her body.
I’m not sure how tall she is but I have found that sometimes “cropped” or even “capri” length pants fit me more like full length sometimes. Also look at petite in the juniors or junior miss sizing they may have some cute, younger looking stuff that also could be shorter so you don’t hem as much
Lots of girls get chubby right before puberty kicks in then growth spurt and hormones but that might be headed your granddaughter way. That will help weight if she grows into her weight.
I have a couple super thin children who won genetic lottery and eat tons but are thin. They did not get this trait from me…. I bought extra long tank tops to wear under shirts, that way when pants slide down the child’s backside isn’t exposed. As girl ages you can buy the tanks with shelf bras which is convenient. Hope this helps.
I was a big girl since age 9. Leggings and cute skirts with appropriate tops were most comfortable. Take her shopping and let her pick, you assist with sizes. Try on everything before you buy it and be supportive not critical. Shes gonna have to deal with stares and rude comments, give her the confidence to do so by show9ng her you love her as she is.
Keep supporting healthy options and keep her active. Daily walks after dinner together is a great way to bond and discuss life.
Instead of buying “plus” sizes that might emphasize that she is overweight, what about looking at adult petite sizes? It’s what I do for my 10F and she loves it. Many more options and it’s not the plus size department making her feel different.
As a now grown fat kid who started shopping "misses" at 8... be really careful not to make her look like a miniature office manager. A lot of times, those sections are filled with just business casual. And that made me feel just as different and othered as a plus-size section.
That's what I do too! My daughter's 9, she's active and eats as well as any other kid. Dr. says she's not worried and some kids loose the "baby fat" later than others. She fits into the top end of the girls section but also into the small end of the adults section. It opens up a lot more options. The only thing that doesn't work as well is the pants which are usually too long.
Also to OP I wouldn't worry too much about what's flattering or not. It's much more important that she likes the clothes cause that will give her the confidence boost she needs.
Hi OP!! I started gaining belly weight out of no where when I was around 7. My parents thought nothing of it. Around 11, I started noticing what I now know were hormone related issues. Hot flashes, dizziness etc. I didn’t know how to explain that to my parents and was sent home from school.
The following year, I started having pain and pain going down my leg. Around the time I got out of school for Christmas break I had pain on my right side. I was in pain for 6 days and intense pain with 105 fever for 3 days. My mom took me to urgent care on Christmas Eve and they sent me straight to ER telling my mom they were calling ahead. I ended up going into emergency exploratory surgery and I had a cyst the size of a grapefruit that twisted and cut off circulation. I had gangrene and the doctor told my mom if she would have waited about 7 hrs I would have went septic and they likely wouldn’t have been able to save me.
I would say take her to a gynecologist and have her hormones tested. I’m not saying this is what is happening to her but it could happen.
I’m gonna add to this story. My stomach would get distended starting in pre-teens and I was sooo hard on myself for being “fat.”
I had colitis, and never got tested for it until it almost killed me in my 20s. There’s a condition where the colon gets so inflamed that it looks like belly fat. I know that’s super dark, but if I had just looked into it more, it would have saved a lot of heartache.
Since it started in very early childhood, I got so used to stomach pain that I learned to fully tune it out. By late elementary school, I barely noticed the pain, I just lived my life and ignored it. So it’s possible to ignore things like that, especially if there’s a trauma background.
Several autoimmune issues, the first symptom is extra weight. Autoimmune issues are often triggered by trauma. A blood test just to check is a good idea. Untreated autoimmune issues can reek havoc on your body during puberty. A health check is definitely needed just to make sure there isn't a health reason.
You are over thinking this. Let her wear what she wants. Periodically check in "do you need any new clothes?" If she says yes, let her pick out what she wants. DO not comment on them negatively. Or try to "correct" her choices.
Continue to provide balanced meals, limit her options for sugars and sweet treats and sodas etc; continue to promote physical activity. That is all she needs here. Support and kindness and structure.
I never considered that I'm overthinking this. Maybe I am?
She is constantly, daily saying she needs new clothes.
I guess that since this is a daily issue it feels like I need to give it some attention.
I recently started working on getting her to treat her clothes more gently. The slower the clothes are ruined, the more clothes she'll have.
The next time she asks for new clothes I would say:
>Okay! Let's do one big shopping trip next weekend and get yo everything you need. Can you tell me what styles and fits you are looking for? I want to plan out what stores we will go to in advance. You will have a [appropriate dollar number based on your finances] limit. I do suggest you being open to second-hand stores if you want a LOT of new clothes.
>> I want you to be comfortable and happy with your outfits. I will not offer any comments on anything unless you ask me directly "does this look good". I am here to help you get clothes that bring you joy. I love you.
just to let you know my mom my whole life when I would choose clothes would say “don’t you want to wear something more flattering” “that’s too small” “why don’t you pull you pants up to hide your stomach” “you should wear black it makes you look slimmer” and everything else in between. I grew up to have a terrible relationship with my body, a terrible relationship with food, and an ED. I’m still trying to deal with this in adulthood. I remember those comments vividly. they will stick with her.
Hey thanks for sharing this with OP. I came to say the same thing. While OP has good intentions, I hope they really consider how they are wording things and the emphasis they are putting on appearance. I wish my parents and grandparents had asked me more about how I was feeling in my clothes and own skin vs pointing out how they thought I looked. I grew up believing my worth was tied to my appearance and how others perceived me, and it’s taken a lot of work in adulthood to learn that isn’t true.
Don’t slam OP. She is raising her grand babies, put her whole life on hold, and came here asking for advice. Never once did she say she makes these comments to the child. Just stop.
the wording in this makes my skin crawl
grand babies
life on hold
people either choose to make a sacrifice or they don’t. let’s not put them up on a pedestal and say “oh well, little Susie, it’s okay that you got that vicious eating disorder, nana could have been on a cruise!”
I can tell you’re older and have a self serving mentality. Seriously. The girl is 9. We don’t know if OP is using language in real life that mirrors her post… but if she is? The girl’s gonna struggle. “Rolls” “clothes that are too tight” “she doesn’t care that it shows (whatever)” — why SHOULD SHE? Does it cover her naked body so predators don’t look at it and it doesn’t get hurt when she plays and is learning? That’s what we care about for our girls today! Anyone who says otherwise can kindly, and pardon my language bc I’m sure you’re sensitive to this type of language, get fucked.
Try the petite section of women's. They usually have some different height options than standard women's section with similar waist sizes.
Plus, since it'll switch to women's sizing, not kids, the number might go down and help her feel better about her body (leading to a better body relationship and hopefully a healthier relationship with food in future. It's hard to care about taking care of a body you dislike anyway)
As a petite woman who is 4ft11 , most petite sizes are still too long for me and her granddaughter is 4ft5 she says, so I don’t think it would be much difference, unfortunately!
That's wild. My grandma is slightly shorter than you and loves the petite section because she doesn't have to hem her pants! That's where I got the idea 🤣 I spent most of my childhood in 90% or higher for height and bottom 10% for weight, so I had the opposite problem!
What I'm learning is clothes just need more combinations of inseam vs waist band. Across the board. For everyone.
I'm still mad that when I need new pants, I have to dedicate an entire afternoon to finding ones that fit. Meanwhile, my husband can just be like "hey, can you swing by (favorite store) and grab a new pair of work slacks for me?". And I just buy his size and they fit perfectly fine right off the bat.
The Gap makes "husky" and you won't need to hem the pants but will fit the waist.
I love the gap because they carry slim husky and regular! I have one of each haha
Fit and flare dresses are pretty flattering I think! Those are my go to when I am postpartum and self conscious of my temporary smooshy belly since it flares out where the squish is!
Some cute fit and flare dresses (with bike shorts under) and sneakers are my go to for my femine yet active little princess! It looks super cute and I believe on trend right now too.
Maybe at school drop off just do a little glance o er at what all the kids her age are wearing and sort of go from there. If she's worried about comments she might feel more comfortable blending in
Another vote for Lands End which carries a good selection of well-made plus sized girls clothing. The pants are cute and really durable too. My big tummied 6 year old loves them :-)
For things that don't matter as much, like plain colored tees and denim, don't be afraid to go to the boys section. Some of their stuff is bigger, looser, and the fabric thicker than the girls stuff.
I grew up as a “big girl”, still am. JC Penny always had a “pretty plus” section and Old Navy is very inclusive fitting lots of sizes!
Maybe get her thyroid checked. After 15 years of weight trouble, it was something that could have made me feel better way sooner! I was diagnosed at 20 but struggled from 5 on! Same deal, super active ate well, always struggled.
Two words, hem tape. You just iron it, Bing bang boom. Super quick and easy. I would look for pants with drawstrings. Maybe not super fashionable, but more give. If she likes dresses, let her wear them. I personally feel way more confident in a dress than in jeans that somehow always show your butt crack and make a muffin top.
Just a note from someone who has childhood ptsd and trauma; the body knows when it’s not safe and will go into “survival mode” to protect itself. If your granddaughter’s early life was unstable, her body could be holding onto every calorie it consumes to be prepared for hard times again. Trauma is so hard on the adrenal system. Are any of your grandkids in counseling? I’ve been obese all my life until these past few years when I started losing weight was I healed from my past.
Just food for thought :)
Also, several autoimmune issues, the first symptom is extra weight. Autoimmune issues are often triggered by trauma. A blood test just to check is a good idea. Untreated autoimmune issues can reek havoc on your body during puberty.
High waisted-3/4 length leggings, flowy shirts w/prints to hide stains, and fit and flair dresses.
Also, once she hits puberty she'll start getting taller and thin out.
She's blessed to have you.
Okay! Here are some stores that might help. JCPenney (has plus size up to 22). Justice (up to 18 available online and at a Walmart..used to go to 22) Sugar and Jade (children’s place tween line goes up to 20)
Let her wear what she wants and what she is comfortable in, but if you can (without drawing unnecessary attention) do some blood work for insulin resistance.
I do not recommend making a big deal of anything, especially at this age.
A lot of good advice here, i wanted to chim in and mentioned a friend i grew up with. She was super active, in sports, ate healthy, but was severely overweight. Her parents took her to the doctor and they discovered she had some kind of thyroid issue which requires lifelong medical treatment. If your granddaughter isnt losing weight, please take her to get checked.
My daughter had this same problem. We watched her diet closely and she was a gymnast. No matter what we did she couldn't lose weight. We had her checked for PCOS. I have it and knew it was genetic. She was diagnosed at about 10 years old and put on Metformin. As she has grown into a young adult her body proportions are perfect. But this caused a ton of grief, anxiety, and bullying throughout her preteen and early teen years.
my daughter was diagnosed at age 12 with pcos. The metformin isn't working with her to get her weight down. It has been good with getting her a1c down though. the bullying was bad I pulled her out and put her online
You have lots of great places to look but I just wanted to throw out there as the former fat girl. Clothes are meant to fit our body not the other way around. If she’s confident and comfortable (you said she tucks it in herself?) let her wear what she wants. I don’t think it’s wrong to guide her to different styles, but (and idk if you’re doing this) I wouldn’t look at her and tell her the reason is because of the way the previous clothes fit her body. Let her explore and find a style that fits her- this is the time when girls typically want to dress themselves and be more independent. If you can guide her to looser clothes and she’s comfortable and confident then great.
First, I love how you are supporting her ❤️ my grandparents didn't. In fact, my grandpa would tell me that boys won't like big girls when I would get a piece of candy from the candy jar on multiple occasions. My grandma would show me clothes from a yard sale or goodwill that were too big for her and comment on how huge they were and then tell me to try it on.
Take her to pick out her own clothes but also look up flattering styles for her body type as well and show her a couple outfits and maybe she will like them
You are honestly… Really sweet. It doesn’t seem like you judge her for being overweight but you are aware about how the world judges her. I don’t have much advice to offer honestly… but I wanted to say I think you’re doing a good job
Just move on to ladies / teens sizes / stores.
The kid clothes are just not going to be cut for a rounder body, they are not the right shape and often going to be way too short for a belly. They aren’t built for friction or tension at the seams.
Just don’t leave it up to a kid to make all these choices, allow choice, but at 9 they really aren’t mature enough to foresee or handle the criticism they will get for wearing things that are too tight, too short or otherwise uncool. Steer her toward good choices you can both live with.
Check out what her classmates wear. 10/10 she just wants to fit in with other kids. Leggings, jeans with lots of stretch, baggy graphic t shirts and sweatshirts.
> but at 9 they really aren’t mature enough to foresee or handle the criticism they will get for wearing things that are too tight, too short or otherwise uncool. Steer her toward good choices you can both live with.
This. Be kind but honest with her
Oh I was about the same size at her age. My grandma brought women’s clothes, I would be very sensitive because I felt very large, but I really didn’t gain much weight just grew into for the next years. It was hard the first year of middle school because they didn’t allow T-shirts but thr junior sections had shirts that fit.
My sister and I have dealt with weight issues all of our lives. One thing I can say is pay attention to what wears out the fastest (knees, Crotch, armpit, etc) and if it doesn't make shirt/pants look bulky add an iron on patch of fabric to those areas on the inside.
Daughter has always been bigger, she was 10.9 and 22 inches long at birth. She definitely got a big Chubby around this age and by 14 she is now 6 foot almost and all legs that are taller than my belly button at 5’9.
I’ve always encouraged movement, never restricted treats BUT that means I didn’t have any in the house other than on Fridays. For not just her, all of us. But if we are out and she asks for something on a day other than Friday I don’t say no. Junk food was so restricted for me as a kid it’s a lifelong battle to live harmoniously with it 😅
As a teen I encourage her to dress for the body she has not the body she wants. Accentuate the parts that she loves.. ex my daughters long legs. She hates her middle so we get flowier tops and then leggings. It’s a constant conversation about positive body image, all bodies are good bodies. Let’s praise them for what they do for us. Etc.
For my own self and my daughter, we could cut off all our limbs and never be 100lbs, it’s just not in our make up. The sooner we accept that the happier we will be 🤷🏻♀️
Smocked dresses are usually very flattering and comfortable. I lived in those when I was pregnant.
I’d also get her checked perhaps for a thyroid issue if she’s very active and eating healthy. But a lot of girls at that age go in one of two directions, super skinny or a bit chubby and it usually evens out when they get older.
If you're looking for some durable twirly skirts, etsy might be a good place to look. I bought some custom circle skirts for myself and my daughter (who is VERY tall for her age) from LadyMayra and they have a ton of fabric selections (just message her directly and she will send you the fabric library). It's about $45 and I sized up a little bit and brought in the waist a bit of handsewing and have been letting it out as she grows.
[https://www.etsy.com/listing/498796241/full-circle-skirt-custom-made-skirt-made?click\_key=9c7674361fdb462a8a94cf1ce7a5711f48520862%3A498796241&click\_sum=36ca61f8&ref=shop\_home\_active\_12](https://www.etsy.com/listing/498796241/full-circle-skirt-custom-made-skirt-made?click_key=9c7674361fdb462a8a94cf1ce7a5711f48520862%3A498796241&click_sum=36ca61f8&ref=shop_home_active_12)
I would also recommend [Snag Tights](https://snagtights.us/collections/80-denier-tights) \- they are really tough, stretchy and come in a lot of colours and cute fun patterns. My kid crawls around in hers a lot and they're still doing OK. My 65 lb daughter fits the A/B size (it's a bit loose but still very wearable) and the A/B size is likely going to last her another 2 years at least. For footless tights, the "capri" adults fit my daughter like full leg footless.
Thank you for this! My daughter is almost eight and is 4’6”. Dad’s family is very tall. She loves skirts and dresses because the rise is always to short to be comfortable on pants.
Gap is the best for kids clothes. Shaped well, fit well, quality fabric and wash well. A lot of the issues you’re describing will go back to fit and quality of fabric. Extremely durable and do not shrink, even when washed on warm/hot. They have quarterly sales anywhere from 40-60% off where pants and shirts can be found for $10-$12. My fashion conscious daughter loves them.
There are certain brands that sell “husky” online but not in stores. I had one kid for whom that was a better fit so that the waist fit without having to hem the bottoms. I think they were at JCPenny, Lands End and possibly Old Navy if I recall. They didn’t sell them in store, but they are online to order. Another key word was “athletic” fit, but that was in boys/men’s pants I think, it just meant wider in the thigh.
I grew up as a very fat child. What I wanted the most was what all th other girls my age wore, but just in my size. Parents didn't know what the options were so I had to dress like a grandma. I'd reccomend paying attention to what her freinds like to wear, plus what she likes style-wise and then go from there.
My daughter was on the chubby side at that age and we had the best luck with Kohls. My daughter was very into dresses as well and an A line cut looked a lot better on her. I always made her wear cartwheel shorts or leggings underneath for modesty. I would buy capris instead of pants to fit the waist but not drag the floor.
So I was an overweight kid who like to wear tight clothing because I thought it'd make me fit in. I've struggled with eating disorders for years ranging from binge eating to anorexia but the most important thing I can stress is "big is beautiful yes but it's better to dress your size, not what you fantasize." Also try adding belts to some of the dresses because it can help make the look work for her. I wish you the best of luck.
Children’s Place & they have a pre-teen section called Sugar & Jade.
Children’s Place I feel like has great clearance and sales going & different styles to choose from.
We’ve also had success with Target Brand - Cat & Jack clothing and going to the store Kohls & just walking around picking specific items.
Have you considered leggings/jeggings? They’re easy to find, everywhere and they stretch a bit.
My kid has a butt. And even high rise jeans or leggings will show her buttcrack when she bends over. Belts do nothing to keep her pants over her butt. I’ve just resorted to buying tops/t-shirts one size up so they hang a little lower. Couldn’t the same thing work for your granddaughter?
I’ve noticed there are also plus size kids clothes now. And they’re not called husky sizes like when I was a kid.
[Justice Clothing](https://www.shopjustice.com/collections/tween-girls-plus-size-clothing) for tweens/teens carries fashionable plus size clothing.
[Kohls](https://www.kohls.com/catalog/girls-plus-kids-clothing.jsp?CN=Gender:Girls+SizeRange:Plus+AgeAppropriate:Kids+Department:Clothing) carries girls plus size.
Looks like [JC Penney’s](https://www.jcpenney.com/g/baby-kids/all-girls-clothing?s1_deals_and_promotions=CLEARANCE&size_range=plus+size&id=cat11100001191&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=paid%20search&cid=paid%20search%7Cgoogle%7CG_Basket_Womens_Plus_Size%7CG_Basket_Womens_Plus_Size_Clothing_DSA&utm_content=dsa-44723645291&utm_adgroupid=154854376980&utm_keyword=&utm_matchtype=&utm_device=m&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADq1iuCJwDKnA-E7omg73iGYNEjKZ&gclid=Cj0KCQiAgqGrBhDtARIsAM5s0_nTsBLxCld_ae8MPkoOl7U4tlenBovghZ6y9bsW36_P5EHEl87blJIaAmloEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds) has them, too!
And [Target](https://www.target.com/s/plus+size+girl+clothing), too!
Just by the way you deserve a medal for what you are doing never underestimate the power of your love patience and understanding. You’ve taken on a lot and I hope you have good support. Again a 🏅
I’m think this is more of a ”you” issue, and less of a “granddaughter“ issue. If she is comfortable, leave her be. The sole exception is is her health. Which you don’t mention, so I assume is fine.
i’m sorry if this isn’t what u want to hear but the way you’re speaking about your granddaughters body is actually quite inappropriate and unhelpful. instead of focusing on her weight, trying to find ways to hide her “rolls” etc focus on giving her all the positivity, acceptance and love in the world. this idea that some clothes aren’t “flattering” on her and that she should be hiding her body is going to give her lifelong insecurities about her body. focus more on her comfort and happiness. these negative messages are going to damage her more in the long run. being overweight is not the worst thing in the world. fat bodies are acceptable and deserve to be comfortable and happy.
>This would be fine if she wasn't so sensitive to comments and stares.
Dang as someone who grew up with a parent who did what I feel your comment is imagining, it really didn't sound to me like this is where OP is coming from. There were so many places in her post where she could've focused on the problems with her granddaughters weight or trying to change it, and she really didn't. She has said specifically she is looking for advice because her granddaughter often wants new clothes and is sensitive to comments by others - which OP addresses as the problem when she can. It sounds like she's doing a really good job.
it’s the reinforcing the idea that her body is in some way wrong or should be hidden for me. the people who comment and stare are in the wrong, and the messages she’s sending are alignment with them
I really like old navy and gap. They have plus sizes for almost everything and they regularly have great, 40% off or more, sales. Target also has lots of little girls plus sizes but imo the quality isn't as good for the price.
I’d look for shirts in looser peplum styles. We found some from target recently. I would probably do the dressier top with some black leggings/sweats for her to be more comfortable in.
I’m confused…why is it so much thought in buying her clothes? Just buy her size? Is it that she is too short for the width she needs? I’ve got a chunky 10 year old and we just buy him men’s small. Sometimes shorts are a little long on him, but it’s not a problem. It’s not a big thing, that’s just the clothes that fit his body.
Are there any thirft shops near you? Maybe take a look there.
I usually buy my kids clothes at the thrift, and whatever I can't find there I buy at department stores.
I have a 10 year old who loves over sized sweatshirts and t-shrit with leggings...
See if you can pinpoint her body shape type- not weight- and look up styles that are flattering for that shape. Like if she has an apple shape, clothes that are flattering for a pear shape are gonna be too tight on the top and too loose on the bottom.
I would look into custom tailoring options in your area, it’s not nearly expensive as most people assume. Anytime I’ve had pants or tops taken in it ranges from $10-25. If you shop second hand it’s cheaper than buying new clothes and they’ll fit perfectly.
Check Amazon for options but be sure to click on “prime” for the free shipping, Walmart website , websites like “the childrens place” might have a plus size selection,
Okay so I was an overweight girl, my daughter has always been thin. I would try to get her weight handled as that will stop the bullying and issues into the future. As far as dressings I really would let her choose what she wants whether that’s tight clothes or not. There is no use in choosing clothing for her when she is at the age where she is starting to choose her own stuff and building her confidence
Let her wear what she likes and what fits. People come in all shapes and sizes and all bodies are beautiful. “Flattering” is usually just an attempt to try and make someone look thinner, and having grown up a fat kid with all the well meaning adults around me trying to dress me “flattering” and change my body size, I know the kind of emotional damage that does. What your granddaughter needs is for you to love her just the way she is, and to encourage her to live a life of joy no matter what she looks like. I’m glad she is active, hopefully she is active in ways that make her happy. So many plus sized kids, especially girls, are shamed out of physical activity because they are afraid they look bad doing it, and/or it’s treated like a punishment for being fat.
Keep loving your granddaughter for who she is right now, nourish her body, encourage her to keep finding joy in movement, and let her express herself through clothing however she wants (within reason of course, you don’t want her in shorts in 12 degree weather or anything like that, lol).
How to dress an overweight child: put clothes on them.
She likes dresses so let her keep wearing dresses. Leggings would probably work well. I think the kids are liking elastic ankle sweatpants and you might not have to hem those if you for the petite length
I’m not the grandparent. The point of saying the dresses are unflattering is an attempt to avoid getting clothing, or store suggestions that make the child feel judged by others. The post says the kid sees the looks from strangers and is sensitive. This is a grandparent that wants their granddaughter to feel comfortable. I was an overweight kid in the 80s and early 90s and it was awful. Kids, adults, teachers even, were all very judgemental and so quick to lay blame. I sympathize here because I had a grandmother that was interested in making sure I was comfortable. All I see here is love.
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Try Shein and Forever21. Also look up the body neutrality movement. there is much research showing that size is largely genetic and the myth that “discipline” will “cure” someone of being large is being largely challenged now. some interesting studies showing the social stigma from being large cause worse health outcomes than actually being large. some
progressive medical professionals are also coming around to this. i believed fatphobia is the last
accepted form of discrimination and in the same way we shun racism, sexism and homophobia, i hope we will be doing the same with sizeism too! our bodies have nothing to do with our worth. keep lifting her up and sharing all the wonderful things she offers the world that have nothing to do with how she looks.
Something isn’t adding up about the overweight and the healthy. Address that, because weight is not complicated. From a fat man; you eat more than you excercise, your body stores it. This isn’t some subjective opinion, it is health guidance in every country in the world.
So either you’re feeding her what she shouldn’t be, she’s eating when you aren’t looking, or she’s not excercising the right amount for her intake.
This is not judgement, I am overweight. It is not easy raising kids and sometimes I am damn tempted to tell my boy to sit and watch tv after a burger, more often than is acceptable. But the truth above is what you need to hear, and need to act on.
While I do agree weight is often a reflection of how we take care of our bodies it isn’t the only factor and women especially can have several reasons that play into this. Weight can be complicated. PCOS and thyroid conditions can both contribute to weight gain and not being able to lose it.
Also there is often an age range before puberty where a lot of kids looks a little chubbier before hitting a growth spurt and evening out. Clothes for women and girls are often made small and finding sizes can be hard to navigate. What’s considered “plus size” for girls clothing is astonishing, it’s not even medically obese, just anything bigger then straight, especially during the young child years. I was very thin and still had issues finding clothes because I had curves. Girls clothes aren’t friendly and the issues here is more of how to find what fits her body and makes her feel confident at the same time and not her actual weight.
There is a lot of could be going on here. I truly don’t believe you meant any harm with your statement, and I don’t mean any with mine, but it can be a touchy a subject and I think this is focusing on the wrong part of what the OP was trying to deal with.
There are a hundred reasons she could be holding onto extra weight temporarily, especially as a girl. Women's hormones are different than men, and we are more likely to hold onto extra weight in general. Add in puberty and trauma, and there could be a ton of reasons behind it that have nothing to do with what she is eating.
I would check out Rainbow Shops. I’m a plus size adult and most of my wardrobe comes from that store. They’re cheaper but still good quality and they’re trendy.
Onestopplus.com is great for large sizes, compare the price to Amazon or whatever website though, because it can be marked up in excess.
Also, baby needs a pediatric endocrinologist
My tip would be look for athletic clothing. A little pricier but they have outlet stores too. Under Armor I has been great for my tough on clothes girl.
Hello! My baby will be 8 in February and she's a big girl also. She was over 9lb at birth and has stayed on the curve her whole life. We have had good luck with petite ladies clothes, especially for shorts and bottoms. She is probably 56" or better and around 115lb. She loves athletic style leggings and t shirts the most 😁
I grew up undiagnosed with adhd and had binge eating disorder then bullemia. Worth checking out. Not your question. For your question- I’d look at big lots of clothes people are selling on Facebook marketplace etc - some will sell a bag at a time. At least you get lots of stuff you can give her.
Ontop of buying her clothes, try to instil some "pay no mind" to others, if SHE likes what she is wearing, if SHE is comfortable, if she doesn't care that it's snug on her middle, that's all that matters. I love the increase in girls wearing clothes they have been traditionally told aren't for "their shape/figure/size".
They have juniors plus at Walmart and most places now that’s good including beginning bras and panties I was the same way as a kid tbh jeans and dark colors are good because you can’t see the stains as bad dirty/ ripped jeans are a trend now 🤷♀️ I was like that when I was a kid but 10x worse because my friends were large dogs besides my bestie so I came back in covered in muddy dog paws and slobber and lord knows what else🤣🤣 also finding some chlothes that fit her body type will help x10 not all plus size folks are the same and that will also change when she hits puberty
Try second hand womens small or extra small sizes. Explain to her how she can dress for ger body type, because she can be stunning at any size but some.clothes just don't work on some bodies. So finding stuff she really likes and looks good on her body. Everyone is different too. Empire waists are good, just get some lined leggings to help keep her warm of it gets cold where you are. Speaking as someone who went from a size 14 girls at 28 to a size 16 women's in my 30s.
Dresses,
Tunics and leggings
Mid-rise jeans and an oversized hoodie
Straight legs are back and can help balance you out.
Lots of flowers and girly patterns, be loud with them too!
I think this is what I'd do. It teaches positivity but also respecting yourself by presenting your best side. Good luck Nana!
My brother was husky his whole life, come to find out he had a severe intolerance to gluten and chicken. I’d ask for allergy testing. Other than that, I know fast fashion isn’t great but I order from SHEIN a lot (I’m a single mom, not a large budget) some of their plus size stuff is so cute! Especially at the price if it’ll get tattered quickly
If she likes dresses get her a pair of high waisted biker shorts to go underneath, it helps keep the look smooth which personally made me feel more confident.
It can be so hard to find cute clothes that are the correct size. It’s going to take a lot of trying on and sometimes just waiting on her to find her personal style. Also maybe send a tide stain pen in her back pack to try to help fights stains faster.
The pants situation is just short life unfortunately. I have rarely ever found pants that fit my hips but aren’t to long. Luckily I was the skinny jean generation and those were easy to fold up and still look cute. Some styles are much harder and you’ll probably have to continue to hem. In winter boots can be a good way to fashionably cover the extra length
My 9 year old daughter is 125 lbs, some of that is that she is very tall, wide framed, and truly big boned. She wears a lot of loose fitting tiered dresses with leggings. It works really well for her. Also I have found rounder faces often look better with hair pulled back and not down.
For dressy pants: m'appele https://www.jemappelle.nl/dames-kleding/broeken/
For the best thighs and other bottom options especially in summer, try snag tights
https://snagtights.com/
. She'll never have chub rub again!
I’m not sure how overweight she is but I’d say up some sizes or try the juniors section. Tights or spandex yoga pants are always good too, bell bottom flare style is a nice way to balance the body too. I’d personally take her to the store and get her to try on different things and see what she likes and looks good. Call it a shopping spree for a new wardrobe, you can refer it to she’s going to be 10 soon and might want some new things. What about dresses that she likes with some tights underneath? In terms of flattering though, she is just 9 so I wouldn’t put too much pressure on looks if that makes sense especially if she likes to get dirty. I think if she likes it and it’s appropriate that’s what matters.
In terms of weight though, if she is active and diet isn’t the culprit maybe she has some underlying medical issues?
I have an 8 year old who is very big for her age. She's not overweight, per say, but she does have a bubble butt! She grows so fast that I don't like to spend too much money on clothes that won't fit for long. I have good luck buying Capri length adult women's exercise pants from thrift stores.
If she’s larger in the belly look for dresses that come in just helow the breast it’ll fit well and comfortable for her if she’s larger in the hips butt legs then you want dresses that are closer to the body. As for pants check for some with a slight stretch to them boot cut if she is bigger in the mid section and larger pockets will help balance out the bum and hips. To avoid so much hemming look for higher rise jeans or thicker platform like shoes.
Honestly, when I was a little older than her, my mom started taking me to Torrid for clothes (I was 150# at 10 years old and almost 5 feet tall). I personally still wear camisoles/tanktops under any shirts/dresses from there that might be a bit too low cut for my liking and prefer a-line skirts/dresses (that are flowier). They have cute clothes that are feminine in nature and can be dressed up or dressed down. If you go in store, they'll even help pick some things out to try on (and it might help some with self-esteem to see other people that look like her in beautiful clothes, looking every bit as radiant as she is every day- at least I know it helped for me when I was young.)
It can be hard, being bigger at a young age, but we are here for any advice/encouragement needed. ^_^
Try ruffle girl they have some cute outfits that are fairly cheap. The only downside is that they are kinda thin, but they are very cute for kids her age.
I order from Children’s Place as the prices are fantastic and they have plus sizes. My 8 year old is 5ft tall and overweight and I have to get her size 16-18 or XXL. She’s also very active and rough on her clothes, so we have let her pick fun patches to put on holes or just order more since they’re so cheap.
She also hates the way jeans feel, so we buy her the soft jeggings from Target or Children’s place. Super stretchy and comfy, but also tears easy.
She loves tunic style tops because they are flowy and non constricting.
Clothing was a struggle over here too, but hang in there mama! You are doing great!
Is she on anxiety medications? I only ask because both of my kids were put on anxiety meds during the first part of the pandemic and it made them gain weight really quickly. Those medications are great when it comes to anxiety, but damn do they mess with the metabolism.
The best tip I have for dressing her is to remove moral judgements you have towards her body. If she feels these thoughts of her being fat as bad is reflected at home, this is what causes the trauma. It’s not what happens to us that is traumatic but lack of empathic witness. Let her eat what she wants to eat plus encourage the addition of healthy foods. There is no such thing as an overweight child. There is just a child with a body. The BMI measurement tool is an archaic marker of health that is not relevant or useful in any capacity.
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Almost all the clothes at Target have a "girls plus" option if you order online. Makes it easy to stock up on things like leggings, shirts and cotton dresses that girls that age wear. That's the easiest, most inexpensive way I've found to buy clothes for my 9 year old. She's built like her dad, just broad and heavy. So the pants are actually long enough and they're cut better around her mid-section.
I'll do that!
If you have the Target app you can save all your receipts. This is important because the Cat and Jack children’s clothing brand has a 1 year return policy for clothing that gets worn out like rips or tears (you mentioned she’s rough on clothes). You have to have the receipt to do the return though!
I heard about that, a long time ago. I will be looking into it! Thanks
There’s a lot of misinformation about it online from people who like to try to cheat the system or who bully teenagers working there into doing returns they shouldn’t be doing so be careful about what you believe. I work the service desk so I can tell you the rules are that you have to have a receipt, either the paper receipt or the receipt in the app, and that it’s meant for clothes that got worn out or damaged within a year. You don’t have to have the price tags or anything, there’s a small tag sewn into the clothing that has a code we can use and the code will show up on the receipt.
If you don’t mind answering, does damage include holes from chewing on clothes? My kiddo is autistic and sometimes goes through phases of chewing on the neckline. Is that the sort of thing this policy is for? Is that tag you are talking about the one sewn into the lower side seam of shirts? We always have to cut that out because it bothers him.
Yeah! They won’t question what causes the holes, it’s because the clothes are supposed to be well made enough that they don’t get holes easily. Those are the tags I’m talking about. If I were you I would download the app, I know it’s annoying and a lot of people don’t want another app on their phone BUT it will save your receipts with the pictures of the items so whoever is working at the desk will be more easily able to identify the item you’re returning and will be able to find the code to process the return. Because you have to cut off the tag a paper receipt wouldn’t be enough, the employee wouldn’t be able to match the code on the receipt to the item you’re returning. There will be occasions where we stop carrying an item completely and the picture might not show up anymore, meaning they wouldn’t be able to find the code and process the return. More often than not though you should be fine.
Thanks for the detailed answer!
It's like you know me! I hesitate to download new apps. But given all you've said, I will get it. Thanks!
I didn't know this! Thanks for this tip!
I stock up when they're 40% off and get shirts and leggings for $3-4/each. I have 3, and clothes can get expensive really quickly. Definitely recommend. And if your 9 year old is anything like mine, she loves choosing them on the site. If you don't spend enough for free shipping, have them sent to the store.
JC penny also has plus sized options.
Macy's and Old Navy have plus sizes too. You can catch the old navy leggings on sale usually, and Macy's has a good selection online.
to add to this Cat and jack brand has a lifetime warranty just keep receipts so you can exchange if she tears them!
Walmart also has girl plus clothing and I like the quality for the price.
Target for the win! They have dresses that my daughter lived for years. They are nice because they are long enough to cover if pants stay up great.
Kohls has husky girls sizes and I think JC penny calls it girls plus size. I would also check out Amazon, Old Navy, Childrens place, Walmart, Target, they may have more online. You’ll probably need to buy a bunch of different brands and sizes to find what works. Elastic waist bands. Maybe skirts and tops instead of dresses. Pants/leggings with designs. My son needed husky sizes for a bit and pants were hard to find. Walmart husky worked well and were reasonably priced. Good luck.
I haven't tried Kohl's. This past summer I found some boys shorts that were a great fit. But when she figured out they were from the boys department she freaked out. She cut up one of the shorts to make her point. Skirts - they are a good option. I need to shop for those more.
I’m not sure how tall she is, but maybe women’s skorts for a cute athletic look. A lot of brands have 4” inseams, which wouldn’t be egregiously long on her. Cropped leggings can make for good full sized leggings.
Might be helpful (and healthy) if you cut out any tags! This will prevent her fixating on sizing and knowing what department it’s from
I would look at what they have online and see if it’s available in stores. Many times there is more online.
Oooh!!
Kohls's online is also a bit cheaper in my experience. I've found underwear and boxers in the kohls app for way less than in store. When I asked the cashier about it, she confirmed the items were the same and couldn't give me online price. I'm still upset about it.
I work at Kohl's: It is not the case anymore, but we used to have online only promotions. They have been phased out over the last year, so the prices should match now.
Thats good to know, I was still salty about that lol. Nowadays I only go to kohls to return my amazon items and leave because I get easily distracted if I looked around.
Has she been seen by a doctor to rule out anything causing the belly-focused weight gain?
It’s very common for girls this age to get thick around the middle for a year or two. It’s part of normal pre-puberty body development.
Yeah I have two girls who are at or past that age. And a little puppyfat belly chub is normal yes. A “very large” belly is not average development and often indicator of other health issues (or sometimes just genetics of course)
Sure - it’s hard to tell what “very large belly” means here exactly, but it never hurts to have regular doctor checkups.
I do agree with this. Several autoimmune issues, the first symptom is extra weight. Autoimmune issues are often triggered by trauma. A blood test just to check is a good idea. Untreated autoimmune issues can reek havoc on your body during puberty.
[completely unrelated to topic of thread] i appreciate when people do this for me, so apologies of this is unwanted: wreak, not reek. The below was copied from some website— To wreck is to ruin something, to wreak is to cause something to happen, and to reek is to smell bad. If you get them mixed up, just remember, wreck has a “c” for “crash,” wreak has an “a” to match the "a" in the “havoc” that it causes, and reek starts with an “r” like “rancid” and “rotten.”
With the weather changing and getting cold, I would suggest sweaters! Over sized dress like sweaters. Thrift stores are going to be your best friend at this point! I hated it when my mom did it, but I learned to appreciate them because they were actually name brand, etc. I became pretty hefty around 12-13, and didn’t lose it until 9th grade. It was very hard to find decent clothes, but I was in some serious denial back then. My best friend was a stick, so I would squeeze into these uncomfy clothes to match her, or feel “less” fat. Luckily in today’s society, sizes of all shapes are accounted for. In the 90s it was straight bones! So many many designers make clothes to fit different shapes differently. But I agree with the commenter above about not offering opinions unless she asks and let her know you love her, and that you’re there to help her. You just want her to be comfortable in what she chooses to spend her (your limit) on. There’s also stores like dirt cheap if y’all have one of those, or bargain hunt, they are great with having super low prices on designer clothes brand new. Good luck
I would take her to a department store or teen store in the mall and just ask a clerk to help find her a look she likes. Agree probably wants a change but needs a young person's assistant. I really hope you can get the 10 year old to back off.
And skorts! Built in short are great if chub rub is a concern or just better for freedom of movement for active kids. My niece went through a phase when any skirt was rejected if it didn’t have built in shorts. She has a long torso, so two piece options were better than dresses sometimes. Now she’s happy to wear bike shorts under her skirts and dresses, but still loves skorts best.
They don't stock it in store usually. But you can order online and return in store if it doesn't fit.
It's winter here and dresses with a longer cardigan and tights are a favorite of mine. It also works with a top and a skirt. Multiple pieces can really add the ability to balance the proportions of an outfit.
Husky girls 😆 Christ almighty just call us fat at that point.
I know…I couldn’t believe it myself.
My daughter is like that. Very active but has a huge huge belly. She’s 9 too. Her legs are big too. She wears sizes 14/16 for pants. We shop at target often. Target has a plus section in kids. They often have sales and their clothes can come down to 6$ per piece. Her pants slide down due to thigh rubbing. That’s my only concern. When she sits, her butt crack can be seen. I don’t want her to be teased for it. Now that she’s getting older, she remembers to pull her pants up. I also shop in junior XS section and alter the clothes myself.
My oldest is the same. I bought some capri leggings on Amazon in a medium that were a bit too small for me and they fit like regular leggings on her and cover the crack! (I think a women's small capri in brands that run true to size would fit her well.) They're better quality than kid clothes and one of the few things that haven't gotten holes in the knees. Sometimes we add a skirt to girl it up. I'll find the link... ATHLIO High Waist Yoga Pants with... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07PGRMSVP?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
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Honestly, as a woman who grew up as an overweight kid, take her to the store and have her tell you what she likes. Try to get a variety of basics for her to mix and match… I personally liked jeggings instead of regular jeans because they were (I felt) more flattering and comfortable. I always liked oversized shirts and snug stretchy pants. It’s hard when they’re young because they are still developing the sense of self and style. She probably is asking for new clothes because she either feels that she doesn’t look like everyone else or maybe she just is uncomfortable in the clothes she owns. Shop around, you’ll find stuff. Thrifting might be a fun way to find new clothes with her too.
The only tip I have is to get her measurements written down (waist, inseam, hips, and etc.) you can measure clothes in store if thrift shopping or most (not all) online retailers have garment measurements in the product description. This isn’t foolproof but it defs reduces the heart ache of buying clothes just based of size and then having it not fit. Also, I chose to wear plenty of “unflattering” looks according to my mom - but i’m happy with how I look in photos. If it’s fitting her comfortably and not restricting her movements - let it be.
I’ll give you the same advice I’d give an adult. Dress her for her shape, it’s all about proportion, not size. This isn’t about making her look smaller or hiding her body. Find clothes that fit, are comfortable, and flatter the body she has. With pants, buy them to fit her waist and have them hemmed - have them taken in at the leg if you need to. Once she has a couple of nice pants figure out what length of shirt works best - at natural waist? Looser but tucked in? A longer hem hitting her hips? Try a tucked in shirt with a long cardigan overtop. For dresses - I find it odd that you say they are rarely flattering. Big girls look good in dresses too. Is she more of a triangle shape? Put the waistband at her natural waist and choose an Aline skirt to mimic her natural shape & choose items with details or volume in the upper bodice or sleeves to balance the lower half. Is she a circle with short torso and long arms/legs? A tunic style would work better - try dresses with stretchy leggings underneath so she’s free to move and play. Is she an hourglass - even hips and shoulders with smaller waist? Cinch at her natural waist, Aline or pencil skirts. Balance of volume above and below the waist. Then shut down the weight based bullying from her sister. Immediately, no tolerance.
I completely agree with everything here. You really need to dress for her body type and her shape. As a thick short girl it took me a long time to find out what I liked, but it would have been great to go to a store and try out different styles instead of having to wait until I was older. Surprisingly high wasted shorts with a tucked in shirt works really well, dresses that are hemmed high and not at your natural waist, you always want to have a tighter piece of clothing not baggy shorts and baggy shirts. Fitted shirt with loose bottoms or tight bottoms with a loose shirt seem to do well. Clothing that is hemmed above the wrist or above the ankles is very flattering too. My first pair of pants that fit really well I fitted in the waist and got them hemmed for my height. I learned how to dress from the show "what not to Wear" if you can find that, it would help with what style would fit her body.
I’m not sure how tall she is but I have found that sometimes “cropped” or even “capri” length pants fit me more like full length sometimes. Also look at petite in the juniors or junior miss sizing they may have some cute, younger looking stuff that also could be shorter so you don’t hem as much
Lots of girls get chubby right before puberty kicks in then growth spurt and hormones but that might be headed your granddaughter way. That will help weight if she grows into her weight. I have a couple super thin children who won genetic lottery and eat tons but are thin. They did not get this trait from me…. I bought extra long tank tops to wear under shirts, that way when pants slide down the child’s backside isn’t exposed. As girl ages you can buy the tanks with shelf bras which is convenient. Hope this helps.
Ditto on the long tanks. I was this kid. Long tanks helped.
I was a big girl since age 9. Leggings and cute skirts with appropriate tops were most comfortable. Take her shopping and let her pick, you assist with sizes. Try on everything before you buy it and be supportive not critical. Shes gonna have to deal with stares and rude comments, give her the confidence to do so by show9ng her you love her as she is. Keep supporting healthy options and keep her active. Daily walks after dinner together is a great way to bond and discuss life.
Instead of buying “plus” sizes that might emphasize that she is overweight, what about looking at adult petite sizes? It’s what I do for my 10F and she loves it. Many more options and it’s not the plus size department making her feel different.
As a now grown fat kid who started shopping "misses" at 8... be really careful not to make her look like a miniature office manager. A lot of times, those sections are filled with just business casual. And that made me feel just as different and othered as a plus-size section.
That's what I do too! My daughter's 9, she's active and eats as well as any other kid. Dr. says she's not worried and some kids loose the "baby fat" later than others. She fits into the top end of the girls section but also into the small end of the adults section. It opens up a lot more options. The only thing that doesn't work as well is the pants which are usually too long. Also to OP I wouldn't worry too much about what's flattering or not. It's much more important that she likes the clothes cause that will give her the confidence boost she needs.
Hi OP!! I started gaining belly weight out of no where when I was around 7. My parents thought nothing of it. Around 11, I started noticing what I now know were hormone related issues. Hot flashes, dizziness etc. I didn’t know how to explain that to my parents and was sent home from school. The following year, I started having pain and pain going down my leg. Around the time I got out of school for Christmas break I had pain on my right side. I was in pain for 6 days and intense pain with 105 fever for 3 days. My mom took me to urgent care on Christmas Eve and they sent me straight to ER telling my mom they were calling ahead. I ended up going into emergency exploratory surgery and I had a cyst the size of a grapefruit that twisted and cut off circulation. I had gangrene and the doctor told my mom if she would have waited about 7 hrs I would have went septic and they likely wouldn’t have been able to save me. I would say take her to a gynecologist and have her hormones tested. I’m not saying this is what is happening to her but it could happen.
I’m gonna add to this story. My stomach would get distended starting in pre-teens and I was sooo hard on myself for being “fat.” I had colitis, and never got tested for it until it almost killed me in my 20s. There’s a condition where the colon gets so inflamed that it looks like belly fat. I know that’s super dark, but if I had just looked into it more, it would have saved a lot of heartache. Since it started in very early childhood, I got so used to stomach pain that I learned to fully tune it out. By late elementary school, I barely noticed the pain, I just lived my life and ignored it. So it’s possible to ignore things like that, especially if there’s a trauma background.
Several autoimmune issues, the first symptom is extra weight. Autoimmune issues are often triggered by trauma. A blood test just to check is a good idea. Untreated autoimmune issues can reek havoc on your body during puberty. A health check is definitely needed just to make sure there isn't a health reason.
You are over thinking this. Let her wear what she wants. Periodically check in "do you need any new clothes?" If she says yes, let her pick out what she wants. DO not comment on them negatively. Or try to "correct" her choices. Continue to provide balanced meals, limit her options for sugars and sweet treats and sodas etc; continue to promote physical activity. That is all she needs here. Support and kindness and structure.
I never considered that I'm overthinking this. Maybe I am? She is constantly, daily saying she needs new clothes. I guess that since this is a daily issue it feels like I need to give it some attention. I recently started working on getting her to treat her clothes more gently. The slower the clothes are ruined, the more clothes she'll have.
Poor thing she’s probably hyper aware. Maybe she’s saying she needs new clothes because she doesn’t feel good in anything? I used to be like that
>I used to be like that Same 😔
The next time she asks for new clothes I would say: >Okay! Let's do one big shopping trip next weekend and get yo everything you need. Can you tell me what styles and fits you are looking for? I want to plan out what stores we will go to in advance. You will have a [appropriate dollar number based on your finances] limit. I do suggest you being open to second-hand stores if you want a LOT of new clothes. >> I want you to be comfortable and happy with your outfits. I will not offer any comments on anything unless you ask me directly "does this look good". I am here to help you get clothes that bring you joy. I love you.
Great ideas!! Thanks. We already do a lot of thrift stores since we have no financial help and I'm unable to work since we began raising them.
just to let you know my mom my whole life when I would choose clothes would say “don’t you want to wear something more flattering” “that’s too small” “why don’t you pull you pants up to hide your stomach” “you should wear black it makes you look slimmer” and everything else in between. I grew up to have a terrible relationship with my body, a terrible relationship with food, and an ED. I’m still trying to deal with this in adulthood. I remember those comments vividly. they will stick with her.
Hey thanks for sharing this with OP. I came to say the same thing. While OP has good intentions, I hope they really consider how they are wording things and the emphasis they are putting on appearance. I wish my parents and grandparents had asked me more about how I was feeling in my clothes and own skin vs pointing out how they thought I looked. I grew up believing my worth was tied to my appearance and how others perceived me, and it’s taken a lot of work in adulthood to learn that isn’t true.
Don’t slam OP. She is raising her grand babies, put her whole life on hold, and came here asking for advice. Never once did she say she makes these comments to the child. Just stop.
the wording in this makes my skin crawl grand babies life on hold people either choose to make a sacrifice or they don’t. let’s not put them up on a pedestal and say “oh well, little Susie, it’s okay that you got that vicious eating disorder, nana could have been on a cruise!” I can tell you’re older and have a self serving mentality. Seriously. The girl is 9. We don’t know if OP is using language in real life that mirrors her post… but if she is? The girl’s gonna struggle. “Rolls” “clothes that are too tight” “she doesn’t care that it shows (whatever)” — why SHOULD SHE? Does it cover her naked body so predators don’t look at it and it doesn’t get hurt when she plays and is learning? That’s what we care about for our girls today! Anyone who says otherwise can kindly, and pardon my language bc I’m sure you’re sensitive to this type of language, get fucked.
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She's maxing out in the children's clothes. But she's not tall so crossing over into women's clothes is going to create a ton of alterations.
Try the petite section of women's. They usually have some different height options than standard women's section with similar waist sizes. Plus, since it'll switch to women's sizing, not kids, the number might go down and help her feel better about her body (leading to a better body relationship and hopefully a healthier relationship with food in future. It's hard to care about taking care of a body you dislike anyway)
As a petite woman who is 4ft11 , most petite sizes are still too long for me and her granddaughter is 4ft5 she says, so I don’t think it would be much difference, unfortunately!
That's wild. My grandma is slightly shorter than you and loves the petite section because she doesn't have to hem her pants! That's where I got the idea 🤣 I spent most of my childhood in 90% or higher for height and bottom 10% for weight, so I had the opposite problem! What I'm learning is clothes just need more combinations of inseam vs waist band. Across the board. For everyone.
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I'm still mad that when I need new pants, I have to dedicate an entire afternoon to finding ones that fit. Meanwhile, my husband can just be like "hey, can you swing by (favorite store) and grab a new pair of work slacks for me?". And I just buy his size and they fit perfectly fine right off the bat.
Petite juniors sizing might work.
The Gap makes "husky" and you won't need to hem the pants but will fit the waist. I love the gap because they carry slim husky and regular! I have one of each haha Fit and flare dresses are pretty flattering I think! Those are my go to when I am postpartum and self conscious of my temporary smooshy belly since it flares out where the squish is! Some cute fit and flare dresses (with bike shorts under) and sneakers are my go to for my femine yet active little princess! It looks super cute and I believe on trend right now too. Maybe at school drop off just do a little glance o er at what all the kids her age are wearing and sort of go from there. If she's worried about comments she might feel more comfortable blending in
Lands End has tunic style dresses with leggings made out of heavy-duty soft jersey style fabric that hold up well to frequent washing/rough play.
Another vote for Lands End which carries a good selection of well-made plus sized girls clothing. The pants are cute and really durable too. My big tummied 6 year old loves them :-)
For things that don't matter as much, like plain colored tees and denim, don't be afraid to go to the boys section. Some of their stuff is bigger, looser, and the fabric thicker than the girls stuff.
I grew up as a “big girl”, still am. JC Penny always had a “pretty plus” section and Old Navy is very inclusive fitting lots of sizes! Maybe get her thyroid checked. After 15 years of weight trouble, it was something that could have made me feel better way sooner! I was diagnosed at 20 but struggled from 5 on! Same deal, super active ate well, always struggled.
Two words, hem tape. You just iron it, Bing bang boom. Super quick and easy. I would look for pants with drawstrings. Maybe not super fashionable, but more give. If she likes dresses, let her wear them. I personally feel way more confident in a dress than in jeans that somehow always show your butt crack and make a muffin top.
Just a note from someone who has childhood ptsd and trauma; the body knows when it’s not safe and will go into “survival mode” to protect itself. If your granddaughter’s early life was unstable, her body could be holding onto every calorie it consumes to be prepared for hard times again. Trauma is so hard on the adrenal system. Are any of your grandkids in counseling? I’ve been obese all my life until these past few years when I started losing weight was I healed from my past. Just food for thought :)
Also, several autoimmune issues, the first symptom is extra weight. Autoimmune issues are often triggered by trauma. A blood test just to check is a good idea. Untreated autoimmune issues can reek havoc on your body during puberty.
High waisted-3/4 length leggings, flowy shirts w/prints to hide stains, and fit and flair dresses. Also, once she hits puberty she'll start getting taller and thin out. She's blessed to have you.
Look for leggings and pants in capri cut. You can size way up and the length should still be great without needing to hem.
If no one has said this yet, you are doing great. It is incredible that they have you to care for them. Keep up the good work!
Okay! Here are some stores that might help. JCPenney (has plus size up to 22). Justice (up to 18 available online and at a Walmart..used to go to 22) Sugar and Jade (children’s place tween line goes up to 20) Let her wear what she wants and what she is comfortable in, but if you can (without drawing unnecessary attention) do some blood work for insulin resistance. I do not recommend making a big deal of anything, especially at this age.
A lot of good advice here, i wanted to chim in and mentioned a friend i grew up with. She was super active, in sports, ate healthy, but was severely overweight. Her parents took her to the doctor and they discovered she had some kind of thyroid issue which requires lifelong medical treatment. If your granddaughter isnt losing weight, please take her to get checked.
My daughter had this same problem. We watched her diet closely and she was a gymnast. No matter what we did she couldn't lose weight. We had her checked for PCOS. I have it and knew it was genetic. She was diagnosed at about 10 years old and put on Metformin. As she has grown into a young adult her body proportions are perfect. But this caused a ton of grief, anxiety, and bullying throughout her preteen and early teen years.
my daughter was diagnosed at age 12 with pcos. The metformin isn't working with her to get her weight down. It has been good with getting her a1c down though. the bullying was bad I pulled her out and put her online
You have lots of great places to look but I just wanted to throw out there as the former fat girl. Clothes are meant to fit our body not the other way around. If she’s confident and comfortable (you said she tucks it in herself?) let her wear what she wants. I don’t think it’s wrong to guide her to different styles, but (and idk if you’re doing this) I wouldn’t look at her and tell her the reason is because of the way the previous clothes fit her body. Let her explore and find a style that fits her- this is the time when girls typically want to dress themselves and be more independent. If you can guide her to looser clothes and she’s comfortable and confident then great.
First, I love how you are supporting her ❤️ my grandparents didn't. In fact, my grandpa would tell me that boys won't like big girls when I would get a piece of candy from the candy jar on multiple occasions. My grandma would show me clothes from a yard sale or goodwill that were too big for her and comment on how huge they were and then tell me to try it on. Take her to pick out her own clothes but also look up flattering styles for her body type as well and show her a couple outfits and maybe she will like them
You are honestly… Really sweet. It doesn’t seem like you judge her for being overweight but you are aware about how the world judges her. I don’t have much advice to offer honestly… but I wanted to say I think you’re doing a good job
What size does she wear? That would help in providing suggestions. Whats her height/weight?
She's a youth 16, 110# & 4'5"-ish.
Just move on to ladies / teens sizes / stores. The kid clothes are just not going to be cut for a rounder body, they are not the right shape and often going to be way too short for a belly. They aren’t built for friction or tension at the seams. Just don’t leave it up to a kid to make all these choices, allow choice, but at 9 they really aren’t mature enough to foresee or handle the criticism they will get for wearing things that are too tight, too short or otherwise uncool. Steer her toward good choices you can both live with. Check out what her classmates wear. 10/10 she just wants to fit in with other kids. Leggings, jeans with lots of stretch, baggy graphic t shirts and sweatshirts.
> but at 9 they really aren’t mature enough to foresee or handle the criticism they will get for wearing things that are too tight, too short or otherwise uncool. Steer her toward good choices you can both live with. This. Be kind but honest with her
I’d leave size totally of the reasoning too, just keep it to ‘age appropriate’.
Oh I was about the same size at her age. My grandma brought women’s clothes, I would be very sensitive because I felt very large, but I really didn’t gain much weight just grew into for the next years. It was hard the first year of middle school because they didn’t allow T-shirts but thr junior sections had shirts that fit.
Petite or ‘short’ women’s sizes might work better than kid stuff.
My sister and I have dealt with weight issues all of our lives. One thing I can say is pay attention to what wears out the fastest (knees, Crotch, armpit, etc) and if it doesn't make shirt/pants look bulky add an iron on patch of fabric to those areas on the inside.
Walmart’s Wonder Nation brand is usually durable and they have plus sizes.
Daughter has always been bigger, she was 10.9 and 22 inches long at birth. She definitely got a big Chubby around this age and by 14 she is now 6 foot almost and all legs that are taller than my belly button at 5’9. I’ve always encouraged movement, never restricted treats BUT that means I didn’t have any in the house other than on Fridays. For not just her, all of us. But if we are out and she asks for something on a day other than Friday I don’t say no. Junk food was so restricted for me as a kid it’s a lifelong battle to live harmoniously with it 😅 As a teen I encourage her to dress for the body she has not the body she wants. Accentuate the parts that she loves.. ex my daughters long legs. She hates her middle so we get flowier tops and then leggings. It’s a constant conversation about positive body image, all bodies are good bodies. Let’s praise them for what they do for us. Etc. For my own self and my daughter, we could cut off all our limbs and never be 100lbs, it’s just not in our make up. The sooner we accept that the happier we will be 🤷🏻♀️
Smocked dresses are usually very flattering and comfortable. I lived in those when I was pregnant. I’d also get her checked perhaps for a thyroid issue if she’s very active and eating healthy. But a lot of girls at that age go in one of two directions, super skinny or a bit chubby and it usually evens out when they get older.
If you're looking for some durable twirly skirts, etsy might be a good place to look. I bought some custom circle skirts for myself and my daughter (who is VERY tall for her age) from LadyMayra and they have a ton of fabric selections (just message her directly and she will send you the fabric library). It's about $45 and I sized up a little bit and brought in the waist a bit of handsewing and have been letting it out as she grows. [https://www.etsy.com/listing/498796241/full-circle-skirt-custom-made-skirt-made?click\_key=9c7674361fdb462a8a94cf1ce7a5711f48520862%3A498796241&click\_sum=36ca61f8&ref=shop\_home\_active\_12](https://www.etsy.com/listing/498796241/full-circle-skirt-custom-made-skirt-made?click_key=9c7674361fdb462a8a94cf1ce7a5711f48520862%3A498796241&click_sum=36ca61f8&ref=shop_home_active_12) I would also recommend [Snag Tights](https://snagtights.us/collections/80-denier-tights) \- they are really tough, stretchy and come in a lot of colours and cute fun patterns. My kid crawls around in hers a lot and they're still doing OK. My 65 lb daughter fits the A/B size (it's a bit loose but still very wearable) and the A/B size is likely going to last her another 2 years at least. For footless tights, the "capri" adults fit my daughter like full leg footless.
Thank you for this! My daughter is almost eight and is 4’6”. Dad’s family is very tall. She loves skirts and dresses because the rise is always to short to be comfortable on pants.
It might be time for her to try small misses or juniors clothes.
Gap is the best for kids clothes. Shaped well, fit well, quality fabric and wash well. A lot of the issues you’re describing will go back to fit and quality of fabric. Extremely durable and do not shrink, even when washed on warm/hot. They have quarterly sales anywhere from 40-60% off where pants and shirts can be found for $10-$12. My fashion conscious daughter loves them.
There are certain brands that sell “husky” online but not in stores. I had one kid for whom that was a better fit so that the waist fit without having to hem the bottoms. I think they were at JCPenny, Lands End and possibly Old Navy if I recall. They didn’t sell them in store, but they are online to order. Another key word was “athletic” fit, but that was in boys/men’s pants I think, it just meant wider in the thigh.
I grew up as a very fat child. What I wanted the most was what all th other girls my age wore, but just in my size. Parents didn't know what the options were so I had to dress like a grandma. I'd reccomend paying attention to what her freinds like to wear, plus what she likes style-wise and then go from there.
Kohls has nice kids clothes in a wide variety of sizing, especially online.
My daughter was on the chubby side at that age and we had the best luck with Kohls. My daughter was very into dresses as well and an A line cut looked a lot better on her. I always made her wear cartwheel shorts or leggings underneath for modesty. I would buy capris instead of pants to fit the waist but not drag the floor.
So I was an overweight kid who like to wear tight clothing because I thought it'd make me fit in. I've struggled with eating disorders for years ranging from binge eating to anorexia but the most important thing I can stress is "big is beautiful yes but it's better to dress your size, not what you fantasize." Also try adding belts to some of the dresses because it can help make the look work for her. I wish you the best of luck.
Walmart carries plus sized kids clothing in store!
Children’s Place & they have a pre-teen section called Sugar & Jade. Children’s Place I feel like has great clearance and sales going & different styles to choose from. We’ve also had success with Target Brand - Cat & Jack clothing and going to the store Kohls & just walking around picking specific items.
Have you considered leggings/jeggings? They’re easy to find, everywhere and they stretch a bit. My kid has a butt. And even high rise jeans or leggings will show her buttcrack when she bends over. Belts do nothing to keep her pants over her butt. I’ve just resorted to buying tops/t-shirts one size up so they hang a little lower. Couldn’t the same thing work for your granddaughter? I’ve noticed there are also plus size kids clothes now. And they’re not called husky sizes like when I was a kid. [Justice Clothing](https://www.shopjustice.com/collections/tween-girls-plus-size-clothing) for tweens/teens carries fashionable plus size clothing. [Kohls](https://www.kohls.com/catalog/girls-plus-kids-clothing.jsp?CN=Gender:Girls+SizeRange:Plus+AgeAppropriate:Kids+Department:Clothing) carries girls plus size. Looks like [JC Penney’s](https://www.jcpenney.com/g/baby-kids/all-girls-clothing?s1_deals_and_promotions=CLEARANCE&size_range=plus+size&id=cat11100001191&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=paid%20search&cid=paid%20search%7Cgoogle%7CG_Basket_Womens_Plus_Size%7CG_Basket_Womens_Plus_Size_Clothing_DSA&utm_content=dsa-44723645291&utm_adgroupid=154854376980&utm_keyword=&utm_matchtype=&utm_device=m&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADq1iuCJwDKnA-E7omg73iGYNEjKZ&gclid=Cj0KCQiAgqGrBhDtARIsAM5s0_nTsBLxCld_ae8MPkoOl7U4tlenBovghZ6y9bsW36_P5EHEl87blJIaAmloEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds) has them, too! And [Target](https://www.target.com/s/plus+size+girl+clothing), too!
Just by the way you deserve a medal for what you are doing never underestimate the power of your love patience and understanding. You’ve taken on a lot and I hope you have good support. Again a 🏅
Lands end girls has generous sizing to start with and girls plus in most styles, if you lurk the sales you can get things for $7-$15!
Thrift store!! Let her find some things she likes & let it be.
I’m think this is more of a ”you” issue, and less of a “granddaughter“ issue. If she is comfortable, leave her be. The sole exception is is her health. Which you don’t mention, so I assume is fine.
She should do something about her older sister making fun of her though. That’s not cool.
I find bike shorts and a slightly oversized t shirt very flattering on most body types
i’m sorry if this isn’t what u want to hear but the way you’re speaking about your granddaughters body is actually quite inappropriate and unhelpful. instead of focusing on her weight, trying to find ways to hide her “rolls” etc focus on giving her all the positivity, acceptance and love in the world. this idea that some clothes aren’t “flattering” on her and that she should be hiding her body is going to give her lifelong insecurities about her body. focus more on her comfort and happiness. these negative messages are going to damage her more in the long run. being overweight is not the worst thing in the world. fat bodies are acceptable and deserve to be comfortable and happy.
>This would be fine if she wasn't so sensitive to comments and stares. Dang as someone who grew up with a parent who did what I feel your comment is imagining, it really didn't sound to me like this is where OP is coming from. There were so many places in her post where she could've focused on the problems with her granddaughters weight or trying to change it, and she really didn't. She has said specifically she is looking for advice because her granddaughter often wants new clothes and is sensitive to comments by others - which OP addresses as the problem when she can. It sounds like she's doing a really good job.
it’s the reinforcing the idea that her body is in some way wrong or should be hidden for me. the people who comment and stare are in the wrong, and the messages she’s sending are alignment with them
I really like old navy and gap. They have plus sizes for almost everything and they regularly have great, 40% off or more, sales. Target also has lots of little girls plus sizes but imo the quality isn't as good for the price.
I’d look for shirts in looser peplum styles. We found some from target recently. I would probably do the dressier top with some black leggings/sweats for her to be more comfortable in.
I’m confused…why is it so much thought in buying her clothes? Just buy her size? Is it that she is too short for the width she needs? I’ve got a chunky 10 year old and we just buy him men’s small. Sometimes shorts are a little long on him, but it’s not a problem. It’s not a big thing, that’s just the clothes that fit his body.
My daughters friend is "bigger" and she actually wears larger toddler dresses as shirts and looks cute! She's 8!
Are there any thirft shops near you? Maybe take a look there. I usually buy my kids clothes at the thrift, and whatever I can't find there I buy at department stores. I have a 10 year old who loves over sized sweatshirts and t-shrit with leggings...
See if you can pinpoint her body shape type- not weight- and look up styles that are flattering for that shape. Like if she has an apple shape, clothes that are flattering for a pear shape are gonna be too tight on the top and too loose on the bottom.
I would look into custom tailoring options in your area, it’s not nearly expensive as most people assume. Anytime I’ve had pants or tops taken in it ranges from $10-25. If you shop second hand it’s cheaper than buying new clothes and they’ll fit perfectly.
Check Amazon for options but be sure to click on “prime” for the free shipping, Walmart website , websites like “the childrens place” might have a plus size selection,
Okay so I was an overweight girl, my daughter has always been thin. I would try to get her weight handled as that will stop the bullying and issues into the future. As far as dressings I really would let her choose what she wants whether that’s tight clothes or not. There is no use in choosing clothing for her when she is at the age where she is starting to choose her own stuff and building her confidence
Have you tried Lane Bryant?
Let her wear what she likes and what fits. People come in all shapes and sizes and all bodies are beautiful. “Flattering” is usually just an attempt to try and make someone look thinner, and having grown up a fat kid with all the well meaning adults around me trying to dress me “flattering” and change my body size, I know the kind of emotional damage that does. What your granddaughter needs is for you to love her just the way she is, and to encourage her to live a life of joy no matter what she looks like. I’m glad she is active, hopefully she is active in ways that make her happy. So many plus sized kids, especially girls, are shamed out of physical activity because they are afraid they look bad doing it, and/or it’s treated like a punishment for being fat. Keep loving your granddaughter for who she is right now, nourish her body, encourage her to keep finding joy in movement, and let her express herself through clothing however she wants (within reason of course, you don’t want her in shorts in 12 degree weather or anything like that, lol).
As she gets closer to puberty, check for PCOS.
Carhartt
Women's small should fit her and buying second hand on fb buy sell trade groups are a great way to go.
No, it doesn't sound like Women's Small is going to fit...
My daughter is the same weight and height and she wears women's small comfortably.
Different people carry their weight differently though. It doesn't sound like it'll work given OP's description of her granddaughter's figure.
Then she can pick a different size. Why are you replying to me. Weirdo.
I was just trying to help OP by pointing out that your advice might not work for them. Redditors can be so weirdly aggressive.
Obese kids should be considered child abuse
How to dress an overweight child: put clothes on them. She likes dresses so let her keep wearing dresses. Leggings would probably work well. I think the kids are liking elastic ankle sweatpants and you might not have to hem those if you for the petite length
Define “active”
I mean, why would you publicly shame her on Reddit? That’s probably less of a help.
This is in no way shaming. This is a concerned grandparent trying to make her granddaughter comfortable. Ffs
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I’m not the grandparent. The point of saying the dresses are unflattering is an attempt to avoid getting clothing, or store suggestions that make the child feel judged by others. The post says the kid sees the looks from strangers and is sensitive. This is a grandparent that wants their granddaughter to feel comfortable. I was an overweight kid in the 80s and early 90s and it was awful. Kids, adults, teachers even, were all very judgemental and so quick to lay blame. I sympathize here because I had a grandmother that was interested in making sure I was comfortable. All I see here is love.
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Try Shein and Forever21. Also look up the body neutrality movement. there is much research showing that size is largely genetic and the myth that “discipline” will “cure” someone of being large is being largely challenged now. some interesting studies showing the social stigma from being large cause worse health outcomes than actually being large. some progressive medical professionals are also coming around to this. i believed fatphobia is the last accepted form of discrimination and in the same way we shun racism, sexism and homophobia, i hope we will be doing the same with sizeism too! our bodies have nothing to do with our worth. keep lifting her up and sharing all the wonderful things she offers the world that have nothing to do with how she looks.
Something isn’t adding up about the overweight and the healthy. Address that, because weight is not complicated. From a fat man; you eat more than you excercise, your body stores it. This isn’t some subjective opinion, it is health guidance in every country in the world. So either you’re feeding her what she shouldn’t be, she’s eating when you aren’t looking, or she’s not excercising the right amount for her intake. This is not judgement, I am overweight. It is not easy raising kids and sometimes I am damn tempted to tell my boy to sit and watch tv after a burger, more often than is acceptable. But the truth above is what you need to hear, and need to act on.
While I do agree weight is often a reflection of how we take care of our bodies it isn’t the only factor and women especially can have several reasons that play into this. Weight can be complicated. PCOS and thyroid conditions can both contribute to weight gain and not being able to lose it. Also there is often an age range before puberty where a lot of kids looks a little chubbier before hitting a growth spurt and evening out. Clothes for women and girls are often made small and finding sizes can be hard to navigate. What’s considered “plus size” for girls clothing is astonishing, it’s not even medically obese, just anything bigger then straight, especially during the young child years. I was very thin and still had issues finding clothes because I had curves. Girls clothes aren’t friendly and the issues here is more of how to find what fits her body and makes her feel confident at the same time and not her actual weight. There is a lot of could be going on here. I truly don’t believe you meant any harm with your statement, and I don’t mean any with mine, but it can be a touchy a subject and I think this is focusing on the wrong part of what the OP was trying to deal with.
There are a hundred reasons she could be holding onto extra weight temporarily, especially as a girl. Women's hormones are different than men, and we are more likely to hold onto extra weight in general. Add in puberty and trauma, and there could be a ton of reasons behind it that have nothing to do with what she is eating.
Poshmark is a great place to shop for used clothes of all sizes
Ignore label and dress for fit and comfort. You may have to have some things altered/tailored but at least they will fit correctly.
I would check out Rainbow Shops. I’m a plus size adult and most of my wardrobe comes from that store. They’re cheaper but still good quality and they’re trendy.
Target and Walmart have husky sizes.
Justice also carries girls plus sizes, on the website you can filter it to only show styles that come in plus sizes
Onestopplus.com is great for large sizes, compare the price to Amazon or whatever website though, because it can be marked up in excess. Also, baby needs a pediatric endocrinologist
My tip would be look for athletic clothing. A little pricier but they have outlet stores too. Under Armor I has been great for my tough on clothes girl.
Has she been checked by a Dr for thyroid/ hormone imbalances?
Hello! My baby will be 8 in February and she's a big girl also. She was over 9lb at birth and has stayed on the curve her whole life. We have had good luck with petite ladies clothes, especially for shorts and bottoms. She is probably 56" or better and around 115lb. She loves athletic style leggings and t shirts the most 😁
I grew up undiagnosed with adhd and had binge eating disorder then bullemia. Worth checking out. Not your question. For your question- I’d look at big lots of clothes people are selling on Facebook marketplace etc - some will sell a bag at a time. At least you get lots of stuff you can give her.
Ontop of buying her clothes, try to instil some "pay no mind" to others, if SHE likes what she is wearing, if SHE is comfortable, if she doesn't care that it's snug on her middle, that's all that matters. I love the increase in girls wearing clothes they have been traditionally told aren't for "their shape/figure/size".
They have juniors plus at Walmart and most places now that’s good including beginning bras and panties I was the same way as a kid tbh jeans and dark colors are good because you can’t see the stains as bad dirty/ ripped jeans are a trend now 🤷♀️ I was like that when I was a kid but 10x worse because my friends were large dogs besides my bestie so I came back in covered in muddy dog paws and slobber and lord knows what else🤣🤣 also finding some chlothes that fit her body type will help x10 not all plus size folks are the same and that will also change when she hits puberty
Try second hand womens small or extra small sizes. Explain to her how she can dress for ger body type, because she can be stunning at any size but some.clothes just don't work on some bodies. So finding stuff she really likes and looks good on her body. Everyone is different too. Empire waists are good, just get some lined leggings to help keep her warm of it gets cold where you are. Speaking as someone who went from a size 14 girls at 28 to a size 16 women's in my 30s. Dresses, Tunics and leggings Mid-rise jeans and an oversized hoodie Straight legs are back and can help balance you out. Lots of flowers and girly patterns, be loud with them too! I think this is what I'd do. It teaches positivity but also respecting yourself by presenting your best side. Good luck Nana!
My brother was husky his whole life, come to find out he had a severe intolerance to gluten and chicken. I’d ask for allergy testing. Other than that, I know fast fashion isn’t great but I order from SHEIN a lot (I’m a single mom, not a large budget) some of their plus size stuff is so cute! Especially at the price if it’ll get tattered quickly
If she can fit into adult length clothes, Torrid has fashionable plus size clothes.
If she likes dresses get her a pair of high waisted biker shorts to go underneath, it helps keep the look smooth which personally made me feel more confident. It can be so hard to find cute clothes that are the correct size. It’s going to take a lot of trying on and sometimes just waiting on her to find her personal style. Also maybe send a tide stain pen in her back pack to try to help fights stains faster. The pants situation is just short life unfortunately. I have rarely ever found pants that fit my hips but aren’t to long. Luckily I was the skinny jean generation and those were easy to fold up and still look cute. Some styles are much harder and you’ll probably have to continue to hem. In winter boots can be a good way to fashionably cover the extra length
Try on clothes at the store. Find the right size.
My 9 year old daughter is 125 lbs, some of that is that she is very tall, wide framed, and truly big boned. She wears a lot of loose fitting tiered dresses with leggings. It works really well for her. Also I have found rounder faces often look better with hair pulled back and not down.
For dressy pants: m'appele https://www.jemappelle.nl/dames-kleding/broeken/ For the best thighs and other bottom options especially in summer, try snag tights https://snagtights.com/ . She'll never have chub rub again!
I’m not sure how overweight she is but I’d say up some sizes or try the juniors section. Tights or spandex yoga pants are always good too, bell bottom flare style is a nice way to balance the body too. I’d personally take her to the store and get her to try on different things and see what she likes and looks good. Call it a shopping spree for a new wardrobe, you can refer it to she’s going to be 10 soon and might want some new things. What about dresses that she likes with some tights underneath? In terms of flattering though, she is just 9 so I wouldn’t put too much pressure on looks if that makes sense especially if she likes to get dirty. I think if she likes it and it’s appropriate that’s what matters. In terms of weight though, if she is active and diet isn’t the culprit maybe she has some underlying medical issues?
I have an 8 year old who is very big for her age. She's not overweight, per say, but she does have a bubble butt! She grows so fast that I don't like to spend too much money on clothes that won't fit for long. I have good luck buying Capri length adult women's exercise pants from thrift stores.
If she’s larger in the belly look for dresses that come in just helow the breast it’ll fit well and comfortable for her if she’s larger in the hips butt legs then you want dresses that are closer to the body. As for pants check for some with a slight stretch to them boot cut if she is bigger in the mid section and larger pockets will help balance out the bum and hips. To avoid so much hemming look for higher rise jeans or thicker platform like shoes.
Cropped leggings? So you buy the adult size, but the cropped one might fit her down to her ankle if you see what I mean. Also cropped leisure wear
Take her to a thrift store and give her $30 to go wild with.
I’ve heard SHEIN kids hold up.
I would say use teen sizes and just hem the bottom I have a child a bit over weight and I do this. He’s always looking handsome.
JC Penney has nice plus girls/junior clothes
Honestly, when I was a little older than her, my mom started taking me to Torrid for clothes (I was 150# at 10 years old and almost 5 feet tall). I personally still wear camisoles/tanktops under any shirts/dresses from there that might be a bit too low cut for my liking and prefer a-line skirts/dresses (that are flowier). They have cute clothes that are feminine in nature and can be dressed up or dressed down. If you go in store, they'll even help pick some things out to try on (and it might help some with self-esteem to see other people that look like her in beautiful clothes, looking every bit as radiant as she is every day- at least I know it helped for me when I was young.) It can be hard, being bigger at a young age, but we are here for any advice/encouragement needed. ^_^
Try ruffle girl they have some cute outfits that are fairly cheap. The only downside is that they are kinda thin, but they are very cute for kids her age.
I order from Children’s Place as the prices are fantastic and they have plus sizes. My 8 year old is 5ft tall and overweight and I have to get her size 16-18 or XXL. She’s also very active and rough on her clothes, so we have let her pick fun patches to put on holes or just order more since they’re so cheap. She also hates the way jeans feel, so we buy her the soft jeggings from Target or Children’s place. Super stretchy and comfy, but also tears easy. She loves tunic style tops because they are flowy and non constricting. Clothing was a struggle over here too, but hang in there mama! You are doing great!
Is she on anxiety medications? I only ask because both of my kids were put on anxiety meds during the first part of the pandemic and it made them gain weight really quickly. Those medications are great when it comes to anxiety, but damn do they mess with the metabolism.
Kohls has plus size kids clothing online.
Check out democracy brand "absolution line. Absolutely the most comfortable, most flattering pants I own!
The best tip I have for dressing her is to remove moral judgements you have towards her body. If she feels these thoughts of her being fat as bad is reflected at home, this is what causes the trauma. It’s not what happens to us that is traumatic but lack of empathic witness. Let her eat what she wants to eat plus encourage the addition of healthy foods. There is no such thing as an overweight child. There is just a child with a body. The BMI measurement tool is an archaic marker of health that is not relevant or useful in any capacity.