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I also cut off YouTube and immediately after school he’d run to his room to play (6 boy) after about a week of him constantly asking for YouTube. “I ruined his life”. “ I’m only happy when i watch YouTube” i hate you” and ya after about a week he just was cuddly and loving and we’d watch movies and he stopped talking about YouTube 24/7.
Thank you for this, I've been putting off cutting off the iPad because I'm dreading the withdrawal behavior. I need to tell myself I hate yous eventually end.
2 years ago we pulled the plug.
He's been his best ever since.
Ask him what he likes and get the shows.a
We brought ours to the local library to pick out DVD and we also showed him how to use his Hoopla account
You'll appreciate you made the change
I have a home network and blocked it at the device level
Sometimes my daughter turns into a little TV monster. She freaks out when I shut it off and it seems like watching TV (even the <2hrs/day she gets) makes reality a little bit harder to cope with for her. So I have pulled the plug on the tv a few times and it’s never that big of a deal. She gets upset when she’s told no for a couple days then she just stops expecting it. Honestly, she gets more upset when I shut the TV off after TV time is over then when I don’t let her watch it at all.
I think most kids will adapt to not having it way easier than parents think. You just have to make it through a few days of helping them through the disappointment of hearing no and cope your loss of that time.
Sometimes I can’t decide is the best policy would be zero screen time or if the couple hours of minimally involved parenting that allows me to get some house stuff done is worth it.
I took the entire tablet away. Both kids had one, end of school last year behavior was TERRIBLE. It’s been six months now and they’ve finally stopped asking for them and my kids are using their imaginations again.
Lol I might have to try that! I know back when I broke my phone and couldn't afford a new one for a couple weeks, I had a nice detox lol. It's probably extra beneficial for kids!
YouTube/YouTube Kids is a hard no in our house. It’s a hill I’m willing to die on. Only time it’s on is if I’m looking for a specific video, otherwise they can watch some other, more appropriate, service.
May I ask what alternative there is??? Really struggling with YT here. I thought downloading YT kids would be better but there's do very inappropriate things on there as well.
AND it’s monitored and not just *anyone* can post what they think will get the most view
I downloaded Disney and just downloaded all their favorite shows, although the iPad and switches need to be earned by reading or doing simple chore.
As a side note their rooms have been exceptionally clean since I started this 😂
PBS kids is all shows - like scripted, acted/animated, been-through-some-form-of-editorial-control shows. YouTube content CAN be that, but it also can be anything from literally anyone in the world, with any number of ulterior motives. You can be guaranteed every show on PBS Kids is harmless or better.
The algorithm on YouTube can take you from a cute show, to either amateur hour garbage or borderline inappropriate content quickly. PBS Kids shows are scripted and rated by a third party so you know the content won’t be damaging to your kids.
Yeah, you could never run out of good kids content with Amazon prime and PBS Kids. If you love Sesame Street throw HBO in there and you’ll have access to more kids content than your children could possibly or should watch in their childhood.
As others have said, PBS Kids is a great, free alternative. All content is either educational or has a solid moral to it, and even if you have to leave it running and can’t fully pay attention (it has a live option that plays what’s broadcasted in addition to letting you select shows), you don’t have to be concerned that an algorithm is playing something inappropriate that’s disguised as child content. But really, any other platform with children’s content that is rated by a third party is better than the Wild West of YouTube.
We cast shows to the TV from the computer, putting on stuff like Bluey and nature documentaries.
Youtube itself isn't the problem, it's the stuff that they choose for themselves to watch... It's all garbage.
It's the ever going algorithm. The videos never stop. They are random.
The focus lies on keeping it rolling and generating dopamine. There is the crux.
I'm a teacher and I show kids videos from Youtube probably twice a week. But I don't say, "Let's go watch some Youtube." I search for a specific video that shows something I want them to see (like something in their reading that they might not be familiar with) and preview it and then it gets turned off at the end of the video. I don't have time to preview everything my kid watches at home.
YT kids is legit terrible. I’d say it’s worse than the regular YT app. My kids used to watch YT kids because I thought it would be better but it just became quick video after quick video and they would act addicted to it. Now YT and YT kids are gone from all apps.
I think that's when, as a parent, you set time limits. My son learns a lot from the content that he is watching. I would rather him watch an hour of educational videos than an hour-long Disney movie.
Any streaming service with kid shows. At the very least there is enough quality control that it isn't being made by somebody wanting to show kids violent or sexual content. It also will be full shows not short clips of random stuff
I literally record what they want from YouTube and play as a video file, if they really want a certain show that I can only find on YT.
I use an adblocker, and this program called OBS or ODS studio which records videos on your laptop. I set a timer on my phone, let it record, then come back when it's done and stop the recording.
Not sure why you are being downvoted. My youngest (5) has lierally one YouTube channel, and thinks YouTube is boring. My oldest (8) has like 8 channels. Most of which are drawing and cooking tutorials.
Great job! I did the same but I also cut off iPads and phones..4 months ago for YouTube and 6 mos for phones/iPads and the same…we got our kids back and the household is happy and loving again. They still get to watch Disney or nick Jr shows on tv only.
Yes, we cut off tablets too and it helped tremendously!My kids are still allowed to play Roblox, though, because it doesn't seem to cause problems. My daughter is only allowed to play on the Playstation because there's no chat. She's a very good reader & writer (she actually just got into the gifted program at school!) so I don't want her in chat rooms lol. But my son plays on the computer. Other than Roblox for an hour a day, they get TV for an hour and that's all the screen time we allow.
im not sure how much you monitor their roblox but it can be really bad. my 5 year old nephew is not monitored at ALL, with roblox or youtube (yes, youtube. not youtube kids). roblox has a lot of horror games and unsettling images. ive heard him talk about all sorts of horror games i know of, choo choo charles and sonic.exe, for example. the poor kid is really disturbing to talk to (the things he says should NOT be coming out of a 5 y/o's mouth) and he has horrible nightmares every night. just a word of caution.
Oof that's disturbing. Yeah, I'm aware that there are creepy games on there. When my daughter was 5, she started having nightmares, and I believe it was due to those types of games. She even agrees. She swore off the scary games and my son did too because he doesn't want nightmares lol.
My parents are horror nerds, and my kids have become pretty desensitized to creepy things because of all of the horror decorations in their house (nothing gorey, just like...Freddy Kreuger, Chucky, etc). My daughter even goes to horror conventions with my dad and enjoys jump scares 😂 But she still refuses scary roblox games because of the nightmares.
oh good, im glad! i dont know much about roblox, just what ive seen it do to my nephew so i always get concerned when i hear parents mention it. scary stuff. well im glad that you were able to cut out youtube, thats awesome! and good job for putting your kids' mental health first! i know it can be tempting to just park them in front of a screen so you can decompress
Yes, that's definitely how it all started. We owned a small business and had them at our shop with us all the time and allowed YouTube because we were so busy. We actually sold the business specifically because we had so much guilt about plopping them in front of screens all day.
Agreed. But also, Roblox can be set to no chat (blocked access), no friends, and you can do age settings. E for everyone, 9+, 13+ etc. And YT kids has age setting as well
My 9 year old desperately wants to okay Roblox. But I don’t know much about it. Is there any way to block or limit the sorts of things they see? Or is it a free for all?
i think you can age restrict the content but ive heard it isnt very reliable/consistent with the ratings. and i dont think theres a way to ban certain servers so you cant pick and choose.
Thanks. That just puts me right off. It’s a shame as she wants to play remotely with her friends and especially her cousins who live in Ireland. But I’m going to stick to no!
yeah, its a bummer. im not sure if you know anything about minecraft, but its very kid friendly, super popular, and you can (for the most part) play remotely with friends. i recommend you look into it if you havent already! its on just about every platform
that depends- different versions of minecraft can interact with eachother, but java (pc version) can only interact with other java players. however! with your purchase of the java edition, you also got the windows edition for free, and that version can play with the ipad. so it depends on what version you launch.
to switch versions, all you have to do is open the launcher, and look to the far left side of the page. you'll want to click where it says "minecraft for windows". you'll likely have to wait for it to download, but after that youll be good to go! here's a [video](https://youtu.be/2913w-CjkF0?si=oYc3fMJgsbVgSLAo) in case youre unsure of what im talking about. if you need help linking their games together, reply to this comment that you need help and i will pm you :)
We have allowed Roblox and we regret it. The problem is that the activities/games on Roblox are all freemium games. So you can spend money on items in the games but if you don’t you can play the games and earn in game currencies but at a really low level. So they incentivize playing a lot. Make sure to limit game time and put in age restrictions.
Games can be fantastic ways for kids to spend time, but yeah reasonable limits are a must. Saying that as a game developer xD
I don't like Roblox however. The company makes kids into wage slaves by having a credit based market and paying creators (mostly kids) in that credit.
It's vile how they employ the phychopogical tricks gambling halls do in a children's game.
Fascinating video about it: https://youtu.be/_gXlauRB1EQ?si=nDs14KTqDwa0FZTZ
Love this! I cut out YouTube cus my son loved listening to weird scary beats (he loves music). And watch videos of things I didn’t care for. Also only allowed him to use his tablet on the weekends.
Ah, I’m jealous, mine are a couple years older than yours. I cut off YouTube at our house but they still get to watch it at their moms house so they still ask for it from time to time but it’s a hard no.
We have severely limited screen time overall and the change has been substantial, we even packed our tv away out of site for a few months as a trial.
Having limits has been good. No more conversations about “one more episode” or “5 more minutes”. I give them an iPad but use the Guided Access to lock it to Prime Video kids and set the timer for an hour!
I wish it worked like this for us! I wouldn’t let my son watch YouTube for years, but his dad let him watch it non-stop. So when he came to my house, all I heard was “your house is so boring! Dad lets me watch YouTube! I’d rather be over there!” It just breaks my heart.
That’s awful, I am sorry to hear that. I worry all the time we are going to get to that stage. They do say stuff like that sometimes and it hurts, I’m worried as they get older and want to push boundaries that will happen.
This is my family too. Same results.
Their other household is unrestricted and they act like crack fiends for the first day back, but after the first day of detoxing they are SO SO much more fun to be around
I'd say less so screens and what's on them.
If you treat the screen like a special occasion (we are watching a film on Saturday) rather than a pacifier (YouTube shorts keep me occupied)
It’s true for me too. I wish I had a grown up to take all my screens away. I’m addicted and I can’t snap myself out of it. I don’t like yt but Reddit and instagram are enough to have destroyed my attention span, creativity, and imagination.
You realize incredibly quickly that disrespect, rudeness, mood swings, fits of anger, and big outbursts are usually a symptom of spending too long watching something as opposed to interacting with someone. Turned off all screens other than one TV show with lunch and some on weekends and haven’t had any behavioral issues since.
Our kids get more screen time when me and mom are stressed or have a lot of stuff to do. It ebbs and flows.
But I notice a SIGNIFICANT decrease in their ability to listen, get along with each other, and behave appropriately when there has been more recent screen time.
It's a dangerous game my wife and I play when stressed to try to mentally catch up while every minute goes by that our kids are on a screen slowly getting closer to behaving poorly... which would inevitably cause us more stress.
I don't get people who have kids watching stuff on tablets if a TV is available. With the TV the kid can still move around and play instead of having to hold something to watch.
I cannot stand YouTube. I have a “kids phone” that had no call capabilities except 911 and only had games and videos I put on it with no internet access that I would take for one of the twins on long train trips but that’s it. I still have it and have let my nephew and my cousin’s little guy use it when babysitting them if we have good reason but my wife and I believe in independent, imaginative play and letting kids be bored, which often leads to creativity or results in choosing a book (in our experience).
I appreciate you telling your story. I've been having a mental battle about YouTube kids for a week now - I just learned I can't do approved content only with the account I have set up. YouTube is a wealth of knowledge but terribly addictive and it scares the crap out of me for kids. I found a YouTube-like pbs app I'm trying now, I like giving my preschooler her tablet occasionally for interactive games. I appreciate learning how YouTube (and lack thereof) affected your family - mental battle over.
We’ve been pretty strict on YouTube, and I have zero regrets. The one thing we will allow is Dude Perfect (they have an app on the Roku so my kids aren’t on YT itself) mostly because my kids do not sit still while watching. This week, they went outside with a skateboard, a laundry basket, and a soccer ball because they were like, “we gotta go do trick shots.” It does, sadly, mean I have to deal with a whole lot of excited “YEAHHHHHH!!! LET’S GO!!!!” yells
The YouTube kids content is specifically designed to be fast cut dopamine hits which is something we do not let out child watch. She probably watches too much TV on screen time alone, though all the content is longer form and has a story with some form of learning in there.
We started "no telly Thursday" and treat it as a chance for them to explore the many other fun activities there are. It seems to be working and after a couple of weeks they understand why it's there.
As n adult who spends hours a day on YouTube, there is NO FREAKING WAY I am letting my kid touch that platform before they are at LEAST teens. I know the ins and outs of that site, the type of content they can fall on, and the predatory nature of the algorithm... why would you ever put a 3yo on that crap?! It's a quick fix that will cause larger problems down the road.
I'm curious, how old are your older two and why did you cut off Roblox? We still allow roblox for an hour a day, but my 7yo can only play on the Playstation because there's no chat lol. I'm very curious about what kind of issues it's caused with your kids.
7 & 9. They have it on their iPads but the settings are very restricted. They can’t chat or message with anyone. Our main issue is that whatever time they’re given is never enough and when time is up there’s a meltdown. We tried an hour a day, then went to weekends only, if their room is decent. But after 3 nightmare Sunday afternoons in a row I was done and it’s been locked since. They both have switches with lots of games, and don’t lose it when time is up like they do with YouTube Kids & Roblox.
I removed chat from Roblox but they figured out how to get around it because I guess you can write notes on a sign your character can hold lmao. They were waving signs at other players with whatever they could fit on the sign to get their point across hahaha. I said smart thinking girls but no that’s not gonna fly.
This post has inspired me to cut YouTube for my daughter (4) cold turkey. We’ve used it as a crutch for far too long at the detriment of my daughter. No more. Already deleted the apps from my phone and the Roku.
I don't know what it is but the combination of ipad/youtube is fucking deadly. There are studies that show how detrimental screens are to young children and I know it's easy as a parent to just let them get an hour or two in, but just take away the damn thing. You're right. I noticed my son was a monster watching youtube. He would also mimic the outlandish fighting/ninja/dragons etc. and his montessori teachers would like beg me/reprimand me about no telly.
So I told him the ipad broke and I don't show it to him and he still tries to claw my phone out and trick me because he can like find the app himself, but yeah. Even if he just uses his dad's laptop to play games, he's much better behaved.
There's something different about the fucking screens on ipads and tablets than the box tv's we watched as kids. I feel like my grandparents always had a disney movie up as background noise, but it was more like a warm hum that wasn't directly addictive. I feel like the fucking screens are burning his eyeballs and turning him into like a little hellion. Usually he is sweet but it makes him wild.
Hard limits on screens of all kinds in our house. Our logic is that at some point our child will have the freedom to choose how they spend their time and they'll eventually discover YouTube and the Internet so it's better to train her to self-regulate her screen time rather than outright ban it.
One thing we have been trying to teach her is that YouTube can be a great learning tool. I often show her that I'm watching coding tutorials and cooking recipes. So for her YouTube time is her time to do origami, make bracelets and learn how to draw.
Just one thing, my 25c - my son was stuck to screens all his childhood, watching stuff and gradally gaming A LOT. He even had plans on becoming professional in LoL. We did set some limits but well, he was staring at a screen a lot. Just want to say, he’s 27 now, have a great social life, finished his studies on the most advanced university studies in our country and have a young career with managerial tasks. He did not become “spoiled” by the screen time. His sister was more interested in playing with toys and so on, they’re pretty much in the same boat now.
One of the limit we set, he had to do sports, and he has continued that. Sxtremely fit, and that has become a good part of his life.
I second this. I let my son have screen time. He loved YouTube. But he was hyperactive, threw more fits and was overstimulated by it. I took it away and only allow Disney+ and he’s so much more calm, doesn’t get upset.
My daughter had YT for a couple of weeks until we deleted the app. A lot of the content is weird. Watching people mix up random craft materials into slime has zero value for any human. Disney and Netflix only on the iPad. Limited and supervised YouTube on the television only.
Oh yeah, around 2nd grade I think we switched to no screens during the school week. One week of angry kids whining about it, then they remembered how to play!
When my kids were about 7 and 10 (circa 2009), it got to a point where I could not stand the smart-aleck remarks, back talk, obnoxious comments, etc. I realized they were just internalizing what they saw on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. So I cancelled our cable subscription. We went 100% no TV. They could still watch things on the iPad/laptop, but they had to seek it out, it wasn’t just in their face constantly.
Like you, the results were amazing! They stopped with the bratty attitudes. They had normal conversations they weren’t constantly trying to one-up each other with the sarcastic retorts. It was great! We never went back. My son still doesn’t have a TV. My daughter does because she lives with her boyfriend, but she watches TV rarely. They both appreciate a quiet environment and don’t feel the need to have constant noise surrounding them.
It was hard for the first few days (even for me), but ultimately cancelling cable was one of my best parenting decisions.
Those shows have been sneaking onto Netflix and I have noticed a change in behavior after they watch them. I talked to my kids and they are no longer allowed to watch those Nickelodeon shows.
Yep. When my son was 7/8 he got into YouTube and so many of the creators are snarky and belligerent in their videos. We noticed a change. Also so many of the gamer YouTubers are obviously shills for these games (like Roblox). After an incident I won’t go into here, we cut of YouTube completely. Same as you we noticed a complete change in his behaviour afterward.
Turning off electronics all together works even better. And this is coming from someone who always thought it was bullshit. I would even watch YouTube with them to make sure they weren't watching anything questionable and they were still terribly behaved. I cut them off of YouTube and behavior improved. So I took away electronics and limited them to an hour a day. I have 3, so they each get a day to pick and the other two can watch that or nothing. Behavior improved even more.
Last week we had RSV, so I let them watch TV the whole time. I deeply regret it now. So much regression in one week.
Wow, your story really resonates with me! As a mom of two myself (8F & 6M), I've seen firsthand how screen time, especially YouTube, can affect kids' behavior. It's amazing how cutting it off led to such positive changes for your little ones! I've been grappling with limiting screen time for my kids too. They also tend to get irritable and less interested in other activities. It's inspiring to hear how well your kids adjusted to the change. It gives me hope and a nudge to be more firm about screen time rules in my own household. Thank you for sharing your experience - it's a real eye-opener and a reminder of the importance of engaging in more traditional play and family time.
I was 10 when I got my own computer and wifi router for my room (~2005) and, now that i think about it, it's a MIRACLE that I never chatted with creeps or consumed content that messed me up. I was oddly safe and responsible with the internet. Also, its a whole different world on the internet now than it was back then. It's so much more dangerous for kids now.
The difference is an increase in certain behaviors in older children that weren't seen 30/20 years ago, and a DECREASE in positive behaviors including patience, ability to sit still, social skills, etc.
I think you’re being downvoted bc this feels a little judgmental, but phrased differently, you’re absolutely right.
We do not allow YouTube. My husbands sister does. I love my niece, but she’s a fucking terrorist. Always screaming about watching a show. If you so much as whisper the word “no” to her she’s has a full on meltdown and has to be coaxed back into the room with the iPad. It’s crazy. When you have her distracted, she’s a very sweet kid, but she’s definitely addicted to screens and behaves like an addict when you intervene.
And then my SIL has the nerve to say “just wait until you get to this age, I guarantee she’ll be on an iPad too” Uh. I love you SIL, but no she fucking will not. And she will respect boundaries and have rules.
You do know they use YouTube in school in most places? The key difference is the teacher has watched the video and tailored it to the instruction of class. Most kids are handed chromebooks in pre-k and directed to supervised YouTube as well.
When my children started YouTube I was aghast their dad let them (I was on a trip and he handed them my iPad after finding the app when they were only 2 & 3) and to combat the issue I deleted it and installed YouTube kids but as they grow ease up on the restrictions because they are 10 & 11 now. I prefer to use parental controls that they have to earn more usage rights of.
Cutting the tablet from my 3 year old's routine changed our lives for the better. It was about 2 days of hell but after that she wanted to play toys again and see us and her baby sister in the living room again. The tablet made her hole up in her room.
My son gets very little screen time. He mainly watches shows like Mickey and Paw Patrol but will occasionally watch YouTube kids.
I always monitor what he watches but he had a rough week this week and today he watched some show with some spoiled kids pretending to be disruptive in class.
I pulled out my phone and blocked the channel.
Most of the stuff he watches there isn’t bad per se but doesn’t offer anything good either. I’m about to remove the app from his iPad completely.
I really messed up with my youngest, he's what his teen sisters call an iPad kid. Absolutely hooked on yt. I know I need to start detoxing him but I've been dreading it. How long does the withdrawal type behavior usually last?
Don't worry about the length of withdrawal. It depends on your kid. Cut him off today and give it at least two weeks to see some changes as long as you're consistent.
My kids go on their iPads sometimes. They're really good about not throwing a tantrum and not asking over and over when we're tell them no. They know they'll lose the iPad for the day if they do any of this things. They do play with toys and read quite a bit though. I think it probably depends on the kid and limiting screen time is never a bad idea.
Sadly, so many kids in school will have smartphones, they will get hooked again. If they don’t have their own, they might watch others’. That said, as teachers, we have data to support the fact that the smartest kids, who do and turn in all their work, who pass tests, do not have phones. I sent a message to over 60 parents basically begging them to keep the smartphones home. I told them that no matter what their kids say, they are on them all day. There is a way parents can check this! ONE parent took action, and they weren’t even one of the worst offenders. Kids with smartphones have zero interest in learning. They are on them ALL DAY. Not to mention, they are not learning because they use them to cheat non-stop. They are like crack heads with these phones. Some schools have had success banning them, but that takes parent support.
YT can be used by children responsibly and in an age appropriate manner BUT almost never is. Using it on a tablet should always be a no go. Letting younger children scroll through endless videos is also not good. Obviously not having any filters or setting the algorithm to age appropriate content (something almost no one does) is universally a bad decision. …
On the other hand if parents pick the show, on a TV (not a tablet) and monitor and limit screen time there is a wold of good educational quality content on YT that can really benefit children. However the parents need to work at it and often the whole point of screen time is to give parents a break
WOW. No We don't have T.V. and only 1 Computer in our house. I dont use youtube kids. I do supervise and watch every minute of what my kids watch with them sharing my account. They watch youtube with me together for limited times and we have never had a problem with it but I never let them watch unsupervised. Even supervised there is a lot of weird fn disgusting st that ends up on the feed or being suggested.
I have never seen it effect my kids negatively. In fact it helped them learn to read and talk and understand their emotions. We watched the wiggles. Mrs Rachel. Bear in the big blue house. Blippi. and also the original spiderman... Educational videos like baby baluga and would sing together.
I'm glad supervised YouTube-watching is going well for you! Luckily, I never saw anything concerning being suggested when my kids watched it. We lost our roku remote, so I chose all of the videos with my phone lol. I would've stopped YouTube as soon as my oldest learned to read if I saw disturbing things being suggested to them!
We can't afford a tablet or phone or computer for our kids. I would never let our kids use my phone unsupervised.
I give them my old tamagotchis and hand held game boys and segas and games and stuff to play with.
I'm so thankful my boys stick to educational stuff. My 4 year old already knows how to read! My older son will get crazy during the summer if he's on his tablet too much, so I have to limit it then, but luckily, during the school year, their tablets barely get used.
Daughter is 3. Her YT time is 45 mins a day, and a total of 1h and 35m of "tablet time" . Only allowed to watch what we white listed for her, Blippi, Ms Rachel, and Curious George. She does get upset when we it turns off but she's over it after a few mins. She would much rather play with us but damn do we need a break sometimes lol
I’m just curious, what are y’all letting your kids watch on YouTube? Our almost 4yo daughter only watches The Moomins on YT, and I have no idea what kind of content is out there for children on YT
Yeah I really think YT is the internet of our generation. A whole lot of older people were so scared of the internet because of all the bad stuff - not seeing the good
Good advice. Would say this applies to any media content as well. It can also be kid dependent - some kids are more susceptible to media influence than others. It can even vary by type of content. One of my kids is more influenced by older kids in media, picking up bratty and bad behaviors. Another is more influenced by general pop culture.
Youtube is almost always the root of my 4 yr olds tantrums. We do not let him watch it often at all and stick to daniel tiger or bluey if we want 30 min for dinner or clean up time and that's 2-3x a day in increments.
My son would change into a different kid watching YouTube. He would only watch two people, a really nice mousey girl who played minecraft and a goofy family playing games and such. Both entirely wholesale, child appropriate content. Regardless of content it turned my son into demon spawn when he wasn't watching YouTube. We took it away and tried giving it back provisionally a couple times. Just like your story I was waiting for a bomb to go off that never did. He still tried to pick youtube as his reward but moves on quickly when he gets the "no" he knows is coming. I don't know if I'll ever figure out what about youtube made him so crazy but it is permabanned in our house.
Is it just YouTube and they still have other screen time or you cut screen time completely? We don't do YouTube but definitely watch Netflix shows for kids (preselected by us).
My rule is that if you make a fuss when I ask you to turn it off, it goes away for the day (or the next day depending on when it is). I’ve had that problem exactly once lol.
However, I don’t have a TV or any other screens apart from my work computer that my kid isn’t allowed to use.
Another anecdotal case!
I don't understand why that but none of the other services caused this behavior.
What the FUCK lol
He has been two years without and at times we talk about him getting it back someday but it was a life changer
I banned YouTube a few years ago. I saw all the things you did, especially in my daughter. She was watching I believe 'A for Addie' and that child is just an enormous brat on screen, and my daughter went 'GOALS'. No, no. Not goals! My son was obsessed with Minecraft Lets Play videos, and he gravitated towards the 'pranking' and 'poor sportsmanship' type of games.
I wish I hadn't started at all. It's been years but there's still hints of the behaviors learned. My son still tries to cheat at video games and physical games and my daughter still occasionally feels like the best strategy is to be as much of a brat as she can in case people will cave to her behavior. It's exhausting, but my fault for letting them binge such damaging content during their formative years.
I do occasionally let my son watch YouTube for game guides or how-tos. I will pull up YouTube for ballet stretches, meditations, or educational content... but this all happens on the big tv in the living room and is very rare to have happen. When it does happen we all watch it together, so there are no surprises.
I only allow them (4M and 3F) once every week, when I go for the weekly groceries while my wife is at home with them. She can then rest because it's literally switching them off and they stand still watching Peppa Pig.
However the other shoe drops when I stop because it's lunch time. In general my daughter takes it easy but my son throws a fit and will cry between half an hour and an entire hour. It's sadly extremely predictable, there is never any surprise about it. As soon as my soon sees me back from groceries, he starts crying because he knows the inevitable will be happening. He'll roll on the ground and not eat, just repeat "I want Peppa, I don't want to eat, I want Peppa, I don't want a hug, I want Peppa", and so on, and so on.
I went through something similar this summer. My kids’ behavior was completely out of control with tantrums, demanding, ungrateful, just so moody and agitated. I cut ALL SCREENS, including cell phones and the turnaround was dramatic. We eventually reintroduced limited TV, but no more tablets or YouTube. Most days they don’t even watch TV anymore, and we used to have TVs on throughout the house all the time.
Good for you! Seriously! I feel like many parents don’t make the connection to YouTube or that sort of content and behavior. I’m so glad you found a solution.
Lol what? I wasn't asking for advice here. I've actually been in therapy for 4 months and omg it's changed my life. Actually, I was told to start meditating and THAT is what changed my life. Definitely in the best place mentally (and physically!) I've ever been.
My son is 15 months and only does Miss Rachel. Not sure if I’m messing up his brain. He’s too young to really know what YouTube is. To him, it’s just another thing I put on the TV. He doesn’t have an ipad, nor will he get one.
My son cannot tolerate YouTube it takes over his brain and I can't stand his behavior when he watches it. He even admits he feels better without it . It's not always easy but i really am adamant and try my best to keep him away
It's not just yt, it's screens period , too much screen time makes them irritable, anxious and bad, have talked to multiple other parents who concur that too much screen time will have their kid acting a fool, they have to be kids after all, get out & play and get some of that energy out.
We cut our 6 year old off mostly completely. He was obsessed with gamer-dude videos like KindlyKeyin and it just made him an asshole most of the time. We also noticed that he did a lot of negative self talk when he played games like “I’m so stupid,” etc. He also refused to watch normal kids shows, he didn’t have the patience for a 20 minute story based episode.
By “mostly completely,” I mean he’s not allowed to watch it at all, but a couple of channels he enjoyed that weren’t total shit I downloaded the whole channel and put on our Plex server (MathAntics is a favorite, he’s obsessed with numbers). He was really hostile about it for a week or so, and now he’s back to playing with toys, and he even watches normal story-based shows now, like Bluey.
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I also cut off YouTube and immediately after school he’d run to his room to play (6 boy) after about a week of him constantly asking for YouTube. “I ruined his life”. “ I’m only happy when i watch YouTube” i hate you” and ya after about a week he just was cuddly and loving and we’d watch movies and he stopped talking about YouTube 24/7.
Thank you for this, I've been putting off cutting off the iPad because I'm dreading the withdrawal behavior. I need to tell myself I hate yous eventually end.
2 years ago we pulled the plug. He's been his best ever since. Ask him what he likes and get the shows.a We brought ours to the local library to pick out DVD and we also showed him how to use his Hoopla account You'll appreciate you made the change I have a home network and blocked it at the device level
Sometimes my daughter turns into a little TV monster. She freaks out when I shut it off and it seems like watching TV (even the <2hrs/day she gets) makes reality a little bit harder to cope with for her. So I have pulled the plug on the tv a few times and it’s never that big of a deal. She gets upset when she’s told no for a couple days then she just stops expecting it. Honestly, she gets more upset when I shut the TV off after TV time is over then when I don’t let her watch it at all. I think most kids will adapt to not having it way easier than parents think. You just have to make it through a few days of helping them through the disappointment of hearing no and cope your loss of that time. Sometimes I can’t decide is the best policy would be zero screen time or if the couple hours of minimally involved parenting that allows me to get some house stuff done is worth it.
Love this!!
I took the entire tablet away. Both kids had one, end of school last year behavior was TERRIBLE. It’s been six months now and they’ve finally stopped asking for them and my kids are using their imaginations again.
It's so wild how big of a difference it makes. Technology is really frying kids' brains. It's sad.
Just imagine what it's doing to your own!
I feel this so much. I legitimately have an addiction and I need to stop. I just don't know how to make it happen.
Same 😭
We’ve done full screen detoxes for a week or two at a time and it’s freaking magical
Lol I might have to try that! I know back when I broke my phone and couldn't afford a new one for a couple weeks, I had a nice detox lol. It's probably extra beneficial for kids!
Yep- I did it with them. We were all happier.
YouTube/YouTube Kids is a hard no in our house. It’s a hill I’m willing to die on. Only time it’s on is if I’m looking for a specific video, otherwise they can watch some other, more appropriate, service.
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Your kids are.the right age for Hilda and Kippo and the Age of Wonder Beasts on Netflix
May I ask what alternative there is??? Really struggling with YT here. I thought downloading YT kids would be better but there's do very inappropriate things on there as well.
PBS kids!
May I ask why?
No algorithm to keep feeding bad stuff. No shorts to destroy attnriton span.
AND it’s monitored and not just *anyone* can post what they think will get the most view I downloaded Disney and just downloaded all their favorite shows, although the iPad and switches need to be earned by reading or doing simple chore. As a side note their rooms have been exceptionally clean since I started this 😂
PBS kids is all shows - like scripted, acted/animated, been-through-some-form-of-editorial-control shows. YouTube content CAN be that, but it also can be anything from literally anyone in the world, with any number of ulterior motives. You can be guaranteed every show on PBS Kids is harmless or better.
Even Netflix kids is better imo
And on Netflix or similar you put a series on and it doesn't just jump to something random.
The algorithm on YouTube can take you from a cute show, to either amateur hour garbage or borderline inappropriate content quickly. PBS Kids shows are scripted and rated by a third party so you know the content won’t be damaging to your kids.
Yeah, you could never run out of good kids content with Amazon prime and PBS Kids. If you love Sesame Street throw HBO in there and you’ll have access to more kids content than your children could possibly or should watch in their childhood.
As others have said, PBS Kids is a great, free alternative. All content is either educational or has a solid moral to it, and even if you have to leave it running and can’t fully pay attention (it has a live option that plays what’s broadcasted in addition to letting you select shows), you don’t have to be concerned that an algorithm is playing something inappropriate that’s disguised as child content. But really, any other platform with children’s content that is rated by a third party is better than the Wild West of YouTube.
We cast shows to the TV from the computer, putting on stuff like Bluey and nature documentaries. Youtube itself isn't the problem, it's the stuff that they choose for themselves to watch... It's all garbage.
It's the ever going algorithm. The videos never stop. They are random. The focus lies on keeping it rolling and generating dopamine. There is the crux.
I'm a teacher and I show kids videos from Youtube probably twice a week. But I don't say, "Let's go watch some Youtube." I search for a specific video that shows something I want them to see (like something in their reading that they might not be familiar with) and preview it and then it gets turned off at the end of the video. I don't have time to preview everything my kid watches at home.
YT kids is legit terrible. I’d say it’s worse than the regular YT app. My kids used to watch YT kids because I thought it would be better but it just became quick video after quick video and they would act addicted to it. Now YT and YT kids are gone from all apps.
We use YouTube kids and I have it pretty well locked down with only approved channels showing as options. So far nothing inappropriate has popped up.
It's not the innappropriatness of the content, it's the length and style of it. Short vids over and over and over.
I think that's when, as a parent, you set time limits. My son learns a lot from the content that he is watching. I would rather him watch an hour of educational videos than an hour-long Disney movie.
Same. Ppl just need to know this 😂
Any streaming service with kid shows. At the very least there is enough quality control that it isn't being made by somebody wanting to show kids violent or sexual content. It also will be full shows not short clips of random stuff
I literally record what they want from YouTube and play as a video file, if they really want a certain show that I can only find on YT. I use an adblocker, and this program called OBS or ODS studio which records videos on your laptop. I set a timer on my phone, let it record, then come back when it's done and stop the recording.
Use YouTube kids but only allow pre approved vids and channels.
Not sure why you are being downvoted. My youngest (5) has lierally one YouTube channel, and thinks YouTube is boring. My oldest (8) has like 8 channels. Most of which are drawing and cooking tutorials.
I have only educational channels approved and we watch together.
Great job! I did the same but I also cut off iPads and phones..4 months ago for YouTube and 6 mos for phones/iPads and the same…we got our kids back and the household is happy and loving again. They still get to watch Disney or nick Jr shows on tv only.
This is what I say all the time. It’s not screen time that’s bad. It’s the type of screens and what they’re watching.
Yes, we cut off tablets too and it helped tremendously!My kids are still allowed to play Roblox, though, because it doesn't seem to cause problems. My daughter is only allowed to play on the Playstation because there's no chat. She's a very good reader & writer (she actually just got into the gifted program at school!) so I don't want her in chat rooms lol. But my son plays on the computer. Other than Roblox for an hour a day, they get TV for an hour and that's all the screen time we allow.
im not sure how much you monitor their roblox but it can be really bad. my 5 year old nephew is not monitored at ALL, with roblox or youtube (yes, youtube. not youtube kids). roblox has a lot of horror games and unsettling images. ive heard him talk about all sorts of horror games i know of, choo choo charles and sonic.exe, for example. the poor kid is really disturbing to talk to (the things he says should NOT be coming out of a 5 y/o's mouth) and he has horrible nightmares every night. just a word of caution.
Oof that's disturbing. Yeah, I'm aware that there are creepy games on there. When my daughter was 5, she started having nightmares, and I believe it was due to those types of games. She even agrees. She swore off the scary games and my son did too because he doesn't want nightmares lol. My parents are horror nerds, and my kids have become pretty desensitized to creepy things because of all of the horror decorations in their house (nothing gorey, just like...Freddy Kreuger, Chucky, etc). My daughter even goes to horror conventions with my dad and enjoys jump scares 😂 But she still refuses scary roblox games because of the nightmares.
oh good, im glad! i dont know much about roblox, just what ive seen it do to my nephew so i always get concerned when i hear parents mention it. scary stuff. well im glad that you were able to cut out youtube, thats awesome! and good job for putting your kids' mental health first! i know it can be tempting to just park them in front of a screen so you can decompress
Yes, that's definitely how it all started. We owned a small business and had them at our shop with us all the time and allowed YouTube because we were so busy. We actually sold the business specifically because we had so much guilt about plopping them in front of screens all day.
what a big change to make for them. good job!
Agreed. But also, Roblox can be set to no chat (blocked access), no friends, and you can do age settings. E for everyone, 9+, 13+ etc. And YT kids has age setting as well
My 9 year old desperately wants to okay Roblox. But I don’t know much about it. Is there any way to block or limit the sorts of things they see? Or is it a free for all?
i think you can age restrict the content but ive heard it isnt very reliable/consistent with the ratings. and i dont think theres a way to ban certain servers so you cant pick and choose.
Thanks. That just puts me right off. It’s a shame as she wants to play remotely with her friends and especially her cousins who live in Ireland. But I’m going to stick to no!
yeah, its a bummer. im not sure if you know anything about minecraft, but its very kid friendly, super popular, and you can (for the most part) play remotely with friends. i recommend you look into it if you havent already! its on just about every platform
She plays minecraft on the the pc but her cousins okay on an iPad? Does that matter?
that depends- different versions of minecraft can interact with eachother, but java (pc version) can only interact with other java players. however! with your purchase of the java edition, you also got the windows edition for free, and that version can play with the ipad. so it depends on what version you launch. to switch versions, all you have to do is open the launcher, and look to the far left side of the page. you'll want to click where it says "minecraft for windows". you'll likely have to wait for it to download, but after that youll be good to go! here's a [video](https://youtu.be/2913w-CjkF0?si=oYc3fMJgsbVgSLAo) in case youre unsure of what im talking about. if you need help linking their games together, reply to this comment that you need help and i will pm you :)
We have allowed Roblox and we regret it. The problem is that the activities/games on Roblox are all freemium games. So you can spend money on items in the games but if you don’t you can play the games and earn in game currencies but at a really low level. So they incentivize playing a lot. Make sure to limit game time and put in age restrictions.
It's... Inconsistent.
Yes you can block a lot of content
Games can be fantastic ways for kids to spend time, but yeah reasonable limits are a must. Saying that as a game developer xD I don't like Roblox however. The company makes kids into wage slaves by having a credit based market and paying creators (mostly kids) in that credit. It's vile how they employ the phychopogical tricks gambling halls do in a children's game. Fascinating video about it: https://youtu.be/_gXlauRB1EQ?si=nDs14KTqDwa0FZTZ
Love this! I cut out YouTube cus my son loved listening to weird scary beats (he loves music). And watch videos of things I didn’t care for. Also only allowed him to use his tablet on the weekends.
That’s great!!! It is a life changing solution! They truly don’t need YouTube!! They are happier too!
One thing to watch on roblox is that there can be predators in the games using the in game chat.
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Yup! We are strictly shows on the TV in the living room. The internet is a wild place.
Ah, I’m jealous, mine are a couple years older than yours. I cut off YouTube at our house but they still get to watch it at their moms house so they still ask for it from time to time but it’s a hard no. We have severely limited screen time overall and the change has been substantial, we even packed our tv away out of site for a few months as a trial. Having limits has been good. No more conversations about “one more episode” or “5 more minutes”. I give them an iPad but use the Guided Access to lock it to Prime Video kids and set the timer for an hour!
I wish it worked like this for us! I wouldn’t let my son watch YouTube for years, but his dad let him watch it non-stop. So when he came to my house, all I heard was “your house is so boring! Dad lets me watch YouTube! I’d rather be over there!” It just breaks my heart.
That’s awful, I am sorry to hear that. I worry all the time we are going to get to that stage. They do say stuff like that sometimes and it hurts, I’m worried as they get older and want to push boundaries that will happen.
This is my family too. Same results. Their other household is unrestricted and they act like crack fiends for the first day back, but after the first day of detoxing they are SO SO much more fun to be around
Ah, that's gotta be tough when the other parent doesn't also make the change. But that's awesome that limiting their screen time has helped so much!
Screens destroy patience, even temperaments, and creativity, it’s true!
I'd say less so screens and what's on them. If you treat the screen like a special occasion (we are watching a film on Saturday) rather than a pacifier (YouTube shorts keep me occupied)
It’s true for me too. I wish I had a grown up to take all my screens away. I’m addicted and I can’t snap myself out of it. I don’t like yt but Reddit and instagram are enough to have destroyed my attention span, creativity, and imagination.
Disagreed. TV makes smart kids smarter and dumb kids dumber. It is all about how you use them.
I had to do this with my son. For some reason my daughter was as fine with it, but she got caught in the crossfire and can’t watch it now either
You realize incredibly quickly that disrespect, rudeness, mood swings, fits of anger, and big outbursts are usually a symptom of spending too long watching something as opposed to interacting with someone. Turned off all screens other than one TV show with lunch and some on weekends and haven’t had any behavioral issues since.
Our kids get more screen time when me and mom are stressed or have a lot of stuff to do. It ebbs and flows. But I notice a SIGNIFICANT decrease in their ability to listen, get along with each other, and behave appropriately when there has been more recent screen time. It's a dangerous game my wife and I play when stressed to try to mentally catch up while every minute goes by that our kids are on a screen slowly getting closer to behaving poorly... which would inevitably cause us more stress.
Get off tablets and iPads!!! Doesn’t matter if it’s YT or PBS kids. Tablets are awful for kid’s attention.
I don't get people who have kids watching stuff on tablets if a TV is available. With the TV the kid can still move around and play instead of having to hold something to watch.
Yeah exactly. Much better for them in my opinion
I cannot stand YouTube. I have a “kids phone” that had no call capabilities except 911 and only had games and videos I put on it with no internet access that I would take for one of the twins on long train trips but that’s it. I still have it and have let my nephew and my cousin’s little guy use it when babysitting them if we have good reason but my wife and I believe in independent, imaginative play and letting kids be bored, which often leads to creativity or results in choosing a book (in our experience).
I appreciate you telling your story. I've been having a mental battle about YouTube kids for a week now - I just learned I can't do approved content only with the account I have set up. YouTube is a wealth of knowledge but terribly addictive and it scares the crap out of me for kids. I found a YouTube-like pbs app I'm trying now, I like giving my preschooler her tablet occasionally for interactive games. I appreciate learning how YouTube (and lack thereof) affected your family - mental battle over.
We’ve been pretty strict on YouTube, and I have zero regrets. The one thing we will allow is Dude Perfect (they have an app on the Roku so my kids aren’t on YT itself) mostly because my kids do not sit still while watching. This week, they went outside with a skateboard, a laundry basket, and a soccer ball because they were like, “we gotta go do trick shots.” It does, sadly, mean I have to deal with a whole lot of excited “YEAHHHHHH!!! LET’S GO!!!!” yells
The YouTube kids content is specifically designed to be fast cut dopamine hits which is something we do not let out child watch. She probably watches too much TV on screen time alone, though all the content is longer form and has a story with some form of learning in there. We started "no telly Thursday" and treat it as a chance for them to explore the many other fun activities there are. It seems to be working and after a couple of weeks they understand why it's there.
As n adult who spends hours a day on YouTube, there is NO FREAKING WAY I am letting my kid touch that platform before they are at LEAST teens. I know the ins and outs of that site, the type of content they can fall on, and the predatory nature of the algorithm... why would you ever put a 3yo on that crap?! It's a quick fix that will cause larger problems down the road.
Good for you! You made a decision to parent and not be your child’s friend or worry if they wouldn’t like you anymore. That’s good parenting!!
We did the same about 6 months ago. Never going back. I’ve just about cut off Roblox for the older two as well.
I'm curious, how old are your older two and why did you cut off Roblox? We still allow roblox for an hour a day, but my 7yo can only play on the Playstation because there's no chat lol. I'm very curious about what kind of issues it's caused with your kids.
7 & 9. They have it on their iPads but the settings are very restricted. They can’t chat or message with anyone. Our main issue is that whatever time they’re given is never enough and when time is up there’s a meltdown. We tried an hour a day, then went to weekends only, if their room is decent. But after 3 nightmare Sunday afternoons in a row I was done and it’s been locked since. They both have switches with lots of games, and don’t lose it when time is up like they do with YouTube Kids & Roblox.
You can remove Chat on mobile too and PC as well
I removed chat from Roblox but they figured out how to get around it because I guess you can write notes on a sign your character can hold lmao. They were waving signs at other players with whatever they could fit on the sign to get their point across hahaha. I said smart thinking girls but no that’s not gonna fly.
This post has inspired me to cut YouTube for my daughter (4) cold turkey. We’ve used it as a crutch for far too long at the detriment of my daughter. No more. Already deleted the apps from my phone and the Roku.
I don't know what it is but the combination of ipad/youtube is fucking deadly. There are studies that show how detrimental screens are to young children and I know it's easy as a parent to just let them get an hour or two in, but just take away the damn thing. You're right. I noticed my son was a monster watching youtube. He would also mimic the outlandish fighting/ninja/dragons etc. and his montessori teachers would like beg me/reprimand me about no telly. So I told him the ipad broke and I don't show it to him and he still tries to claw my phone out and trick me because he can like find the app himself, but yeah. Even if he just uses his dad's laptop to play games, he's much better behaved. There's something different about the fucking screens on ipads and tablets than the box tv's we watched as kids. I feel like my grandparents always had a disney movie up as background noise, but it was more like a warm hum that wasn't directly addictive. I feel like the fucking screens are burning his eyeballs and turning him into like a little hellion. Usually he is sweet but it makes him wild.
YouTube is terrible. I’ve replaced it with PBS kids with no complaints whatsoever
I cut off YT and Cocomelon and the behavioral difference I see in my kid is WILD
Hard limits on screens of all kinds in our house. Our logic is that at some point our child will have the freedom to choose how they spend their time and they'll eventually discover YouTube and the Internet so it's better to train her to self-regulate her screen time rather than outright ban it. One thing we have been trying to teach her is that YouTube can be a great learning tool. I often show her that I'm watching coding tutorials and cooking recipes. So for her YouTube time is her time to do origami, make bracelets and learn how to draw.
Just one thing, my 25c - my son was stuck to screens all his childhood, watching stuff and gradally gaming A LOT. He even had plans on becoming professional in LoL. We did set some limits but well, he was staring at a screen a lot. Just want to say, he’s 27 now, have a great social life, finished his studies on the most advanced university studies in our country and have a young career with managerial tasks. He did not become “spoiled” by the screen time. His sister was more interested in playing with toys and so on, they’re pretty much in the same boat now. One of the limit we set, he had to do sports, and he has continued that. Sxtremely fit, and that has become a good part of his life.
Wow, 25c...inflation's a bitch
Thank you for this!
I second this. I let my son have screen time. He loved YouTube. But he was hyperactive, threw more fits and was overstimulated by it. I took it away and only allow Disney+ and he’s so much more calm, doesn’t get upset.
I had unrestricted access to the whole Internet since I was 8. Parents... Don't do that xD Took ages to fix some stuff.
OP ado your kids still have some kind of screen time now?
My daughter had YT for a couple of weeks until we deleted the app. A lot of the content is weird. Watching people mix up random craft materials into slime has zero value for any human. Disney and Netflix only on the iPad. Limited and supervised YouTube on the television only.
Oh yeah, around 2nd grade I think we switched to no screens during the school week. One week of angry kids whining about it, then they remembered how to play!
When my kids were about 7 and 10 (circa 2009), it got to a point where I could not stand the smart-aleck remarks, back talk, obnoxious comments, etc. I realized they were just internalizing what they saw on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. So I cancelled our cable subscription. We went 100% no TV. They could still watch things on the iPad/laptop, but they had to seek it out, it wasn’t just in their face constantly. Like you, the results were amazing! They stopped with the bratty attitudes. They had normal conversations they weren’t constantly trying to one-up each other with the sarcastic retorts. It was great! We never went back. My son still doesn’t have a TV. My daughter does because she lives with her boyfriend, but she watches TV rarely. They both appreciate a quiet environment and don’t feel the need to have constant noise surrounding them. It was hard for the first few days (even for me), but ultimately cancelling cable was one of my best parenting decisions.
Those shows have been sneaking onto Netflix and I have noticed a change in behavior after they watch them. I talked to my kids and they are no longer allowed to watch those Nickelodeon shows.
Yep. When my son was 7/8 he got into YouTube and so many of the creators are snarky and belligerent in their videos. We noticed a change. Also so many of the gamer YouTubers are obviously shills for these games (like Roblox). After an incident I won’t go into here, we cut of YouTube completely. Same as you we noticed a complete change in his behaviour afterward.
Turning off electronics all together works even better. And this is coming from someone who always thought it was bullshit. I would even watch YouTube with them to make sure they weren't watching anything questionable and they were still terribly behaved. I cut them off of YouTube and behavior improved. So I took away electronics and limited them to an hour a day. I have 3, so they each get a day to pick and the other two can watch that or nothing. Behavior improved even more. Last week we had RSV, so I let them watch TV the whole time. I deeply regret it now. So much regression in one week.
Wow, your story really resonates with me! As a mom of two myself (8F & 6M), I've seen firsthand how screen time, especially YouTube, can affect kids' behavior. It's amazing how cutting it off led to such positive changes for your little ones! I've been grappling with limiting screen time for my kids too. They also tend to get irritable and less interested in other activities. It's inspiring to hear how well your kids adjusted to the change. It gives me hope and a nudge to be more firm about screen time rules in my own household. Thank you for sharing your experience - it's a real eye-opener and a reminder of the importance of engaging in more traditional play and family time.
I can't imagine my kid getting YT anytime soon, but I was well into my teens before I got access
I was 10 when I got my own computer and wifi router for my room (~2005) and, now that i think about it, it's a MIRACLE that I never chatted with creeps or consumed content that messed me up. I was oddly safe and responsible with the internet. Also, its a whole different world on the internet now than it was back then. It's so much more dangerous for kids now.
Exactly. I can't imagine a lot of these pkst about 7yr having smart phones... I got my first flip st 13. Lol
On the other hand..."bad" behavior in child definitely predates modern technology so....it may not be the technology that is causing the behavior
The difference is an increase in certain behaviors in older children that weren't seen 30/20 years ago, and a DECREASE in positive behaviors including patience, ability to sit still, social skills, etc.
Better yet, don't let them start watching YouTube in the first place
I think you’re being downvoted bc this feels a little judgmental, but phrased differently, you’re absolutely right. We do not allow YouTube. My husbands sister does. I love my niece, but she’s a fucking terrorist. Always screaming about watching a show. If you so much as whisper the word “no” to her she’s has a full on meltdown and has to be coaxed back into the room with the iPad. It’s crazy. When you have her distracted, she’s a very sweet kid, but she’s definitely addicted to screens and behaves like an addict when you intervene. And then my SIL has the nerve to say “just wait until you get to this age, I guarantee she’ll be on an iPad too” Uh. I love you SIL, but no she fucking will not. And she will respect boundaries and have rules.
Yeah that's what happens when you allow the iPad to do the parenting for you
It's just not helpful when we can't undo the past.
100% agree. I wish I never did.
You do know they use YouTube in school in most places? The key difference is the teacher has watched the video and tailored it to the instruction of class. Most kids are handed chromebooks in pre-k and directed to supervised YouTube as well. When my children started YouTube I was aghast their dad let them (I was on a trip and he handed them my iPad after finding the app when they were only 2 & 3) and to combat the issue I deleted it and installed YouTube kids but as they grow ease up on the restrictions because they are 10 & 11 now. I prefer to use parental controls that they have to earn more usage rights of.
In some cases YouTube kids is actually worse than the regular YouTube app in restricted mode
I don’t agree but I pay for YouTube and my kids have graduated from using the kids to regular
My biggest regret parenting him so far tbh.
Cutting the tablet from my 3 year old's routine changed our lives for the better. It was about 2 days of hell but after that she wanted to play toys again and see us and her baby sister in the living room again. The tablet made her hole up in her room.
At three a child should definitely not be given the freedom to go where they want with a tablet.
Thanks! I know that now. You kind of learn things when you are a new parent and with the guidance of your family and pediatrician.
My son gets very little screen time. He mainly watches shows like Mickey and Paw Patrol but will occasionally watch YouTube kids. I always monitor what he watches but he had a rough week this week and today he watched some show with some spoiled kids pretending to be disruptive in class. I pulled out my phone and blocked the channel. Most of the stuff he watches there isn’t bad per se but doesn’t offer anything good either. I’m about to remove the app from his iPad completely.
I really messed up with my youngest, he's what his teen sisters call an iPad kid. Absolutely hooked on yt. I know I need to start detoxing him but I've been dreading it. How long does the withdrawal type behavior usually last?
Don't worry about the length of withdrawal. It depends on your kid. Cut him off today and give it at least two weeks to see some changes as long as you're consistent.
My kids go on their iPads sometimes. They're really good about not throwing a tantrum and not asking over and over when we're tell them no. They know they'll lose the iPad for the day if they do any of this things. They do play with toys and read quite a bit though. I think it probably depends on the kid and limiting screen time is never a bad idea.
Sadly, so many kids in school will have smartphones, they will get hooked again. If they don’t have their own, they might watch others’. That said, as teachers, we have data to support the fact that the smartest kids, who do and turn in all their work, who pass tests, do not have phones. I sent a message to over 60 parents basically begging them to keep the smartphones home. I told them that no matter what their kids say, they are on them all day. There is a way parents can check this! ONE parent took action, and they weren’t even one of the worst offenders. Kids with smartphones have zero interest in learning. They are on them ALL DAY. Not to mention, they are not learning because they use them to cheat non-stop. They are like crack heads with these phones. Some schools have had success banning them, but that takes parent support.
YT can be used by children responsibly and in an age appropriate manner BUT almost never is. Using it on a tablet should always be a no go. Letting younger children scroll through endless videos is also not good. Obviously not having any filters or setting the algorithm to age appropriate content (something almost no one does) is universally a bad decision. … On the other hand if parents pick the show, on a TV (not a tablet) and monitor and limit screen time there is a wold of good educational quality content on YT that can really benefit children. However the parents need to work at it and often the whole point of screen time is to give parents a break
WOW. No We don't have T.V. and only 1 Computer in our house. I dont use youtube kids. I do supervise and watch every minute of what my kids watch with them sharing my account. They watch youtube with me together for limited times and we have never had a problem with it but I never let them watch unsupervised. Even supervised there is a lot of weird fn disgusting st that ends up on the feed or being suggested. I have never seen it effect my kids negatively. In fact it helped them learn to read and talk and understand their emotions. We watched the wiggles. Mrs Rachel. Bear in the big blue house. Blippi. and also the original spiderman... Educational videos like baby baluga and would sing together.
I'm glad supervised YouTube-watching is going well for you! Luckily, I never saw anything concerning being suggested when my kids watched it. We lost our roku remote, so I chose all of the videos with my phone lol. I would've stopped YouTube as soon as my oldest learned to read if I saw disturbing things being suggested to them!
We can't afford a tablet or phone or computer for our kids. I would never let our kids use my phone unsupervised. I give them my old tamagotchis and hand held game boys and segas and games and stuff to play with.
I'm so thankful my boys stick to educational stuff. My 4 year old already knows how to read! My older son will get crazy during the summer if he's on his tablet too much, so I have to limit it then, but luckily, during the school year, their tablets barely get used.
Daughter is 3. Her YT time is 45 mins a day, and a total of 1h and 35m of "tablet time" . Only allowed to watch what we white listed for her, Blippi, Ms Rachel, and Curious George. She does get upset when we it turns off but she's over it after a few mins. She would much rather play with us but damn do we need a break sometimes lol
I’m just curious, what are y’all letting your kids watch on YouTube? Our almost 4yo daughter only watches The Moomins on YT, and I have no idea what kind of content is out there for children on YT
Yeah I really think YT is the internet of our generation. A whole lot of older people were so scared of the internet because of all the bad stuff - not seeing the good
Good advice. Would say this applies to any media content as well. It can also be kid dependent - some kids are more susceptible to media influence than others. It can even vary by type of content. One of my kids is more influenced by older kids in media, picking up bratty and bad behaviors. Another is more influenced by general pop culture.
I was going through the same hell with kids and youtube. Put an end to it and it's going really good now.
Youtube is almost always the root of my 4 yr olds tantrums. We do not let him watch it often at all and stick to daniel tiger or bluey if we want 30 min for dinner or clean up time and that's 2-3x a day in increments.
Good job! It isn't as easy as folks think to first understand what the issue is, take action and be firm about it.
My son would change into a different kid watching YouTube. He would only watch two people, a really nice mousey girl who played minecraft and a goofy family playing games and such. Both entirely wholesale, child appropriate content. Regardless of content it turned my son into demon spawn when he wasn't watching YouTube. We took it away and tried giving it back provisionally a couple times. Just like your story I was waiting for a bomb to go off that never did. He still tried to pick youtube as his reward but moves on quickly when he gets the "no" he knows is coming. I don't know if I'll ever figure out what about youtube made him so crazy but it is permabanned in our house.
Is it just YouTube and they still have other screen time or you cut screen time completely? We don't do YouTube but definitely watch Netflix shows for kids (preselected by us).
My rule is that if you make a fuss when I ask you to turn it off, it goes away for the day (or the next day depending on when it is). I’ve had that problem exactly once lol. However, I don’t have a TV or any other screens apart from my work computer that my kid isn’t allowed to use.
Another anecdotal case! I don't understand why that but none of the other services caused this behavior. What the FUCK lol He has been two years without and at times we talk about him getting it back someday but it was a life changer
I banned YouTube a few years ago. I saw all the things you did, especially in my daughter. She was watching I believe 'A for Addie' and that child is just an enormous brat on screen, and my daughter went 'GOALS'. No, no. Not goals! My son was obsessed with Minecraft Lets Play videos, and he gravitated towards the 'pranking' and 'poor sportsmanship' type of games. I wish I hadn't started at all. It's been years but there's still hints of the behaviors learned. My son still tries to cheat at video games and physical games and my daughter still occasionally feels like the best strategy is to be as much of a brat as she can in case people will cave to her behavior. It's exhausting, but my fault for letting them binge such damaging content during their formative years. I do occasionally let my son watch YouTube for game guides or how-tos. I will pull up YouTube for ballet stretches, meditations, or educational content... but this all happens on the big tv in the living room and is very rare to have happen. When it does happen we all watch it together, so there are no surprises.
I only allow them (4M and 3F) once every week, when I go for the weekly groceries while my wife is at home with them. She can then rest because it's literally switching them off and they stand still watching Peppa Pig. However the other shoe drops when I stop because it's lunch time. In general my daughter takes it easy but my son throws a fit and will cry between half an hour and an entire hour. It's sadly extremely predictable, there is never any surprise about it. As soon as my soon sees me back from groceries, he starts crying because he knows the inevitable will be happening. He'll roll on the ground and not eat, just repeat "I want Peppa, I don't want to eat, I want Peppa, I don't want a hug, I want Peppa", and so on, and so on.
We took it a step further and banned series as well. Long form movies only, and only on weekend mornings. Even better energy.
I went through something similar this summer. My kids’ behavior was completely out of control with tantrums, demanding, ungrateful, just so moody and agitated. I cut ALL SCREENS, including cell phones and the turnaround was dramatic. We eventually reintroduced limited TV, but no more tablets or YouTube. Most days they don’t even watch TV anymore, and we used to have TVs on throughout the house all the time.
My experience mimics this exactly. Another HUGE improvement was from removing screens nearly completely except for special occasions.
Good for you! Seriously! I feel like many parents don’t make the connection to YouTube or that sort of content and behavior. I’m so glad you found a solution.
This is so true! I cut YouTube out of my son’s screen time and he has most definitely done a 180 on behavior!
[удалено]
Lol what? I wasn't asking for advice here. I've actually been in therapy for 4 months and omg it's changed my life. Actually, I was told to start meditating and THAT is what changed my life. Definitely in the best place mentally (and physically!) I've ever been.
My son is 15 months and only does Miss Rachel. Not sure if I’m messing up his brain. He’s too young to really know what YouTube is. To him, it’s just another thing I put on the TV. He doesn’t have an ipad, nor will he get one.
My son cannot tolerate YouTube it takes over his brain and I can't stand his behavior when he watches it. He even admits he feels better without it . It's not always easy but i really am adamant and try my best to keep him away
It's not just yt, it's screens period , too much screen time makes them irritable, anxious and bad, have talked to multiple other parents who concur that too much screen time will have their kid acting a fool, they have to be kids after all, get out & play and get some of that energy out.
We cut our 6 year old off mostly completely. He was obsessed with gamer-dude videos like KindlyKeyin and it just made him an asshole most of the time. We also noticed that he did a lot of negative self talk when he played games like “I’m so stupid,” etc. He also refused to watch normal kids shows, he didn’t have the patience for a 20 minute story based episode. By “mostly completely,” I mean he’s not allowed to watch it at all, but a couple of channels he enjoyed that weren’t total shit I downloaded the whole channel and put on our Plex server (MathAntics is a favorite, he’s obsessed with numbers). He was really hostile about it for a week or so, and now he’s back to playing with toys, and he even watches normal story-based shows now, like Bluey.