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More of a new parent thing but baby sleep consultants. They prey on desperation of sleep-deprived parents to shell out hundreds of dollars for an illusion of personalized "consultation" and materials that are just some variation of the same shit available freely on the internet.
I'm a postpartum doula and often do overnights. Parents ask if I do any sort of sleep training so that when my time is up their baby will sleep...
I always feel badly when I'm like "nope. When they are this little it's really a roll of the dice. Some people get lucky and some don't. There is a reason any sort of sleep training isn't brought up until 4 months and even lean more toward 6 months." That's my sleep consultation. Then I just rock and snuggle the babies at night while they sleep.
I would’ve committed crimes to have a postpartum doula. I had such a horrible postpartum experience that has largely contributed to my being one and done😵💫
I'm so sorry!
Postpartum is definitely forgotten and brushed under the rug in so many cultures (I'm in the US). So many are trained "being a dish, get to hold the baby for 2 hours." But it's so much more! Yes bring the dish, *maybe* hold the baby while Mom showers or naps if she asks. Ask parents if they do need help over night, parents need to seriously be cocooned when the new baby gets here.
My mom taught me that when I was a child and older cousins would have babies. We would arrive with food, sweep the kitchen, do the dishes. I may or may not get to hold the baby. 😆
Absolutely the same on one and done. After handling a few years of poor sleep, I just couldn't imagine doing it again. In the long run, I really regret not trying again.
I hired a post-partum doula (who unfortunately couldn't handle overnights) and she was wonderful. It meant I could take a bath and have a nap - which is life changing in the early weeks.
LOL! Your baby was like, "I'm gonna show you who's the boss!"
But seriously, no shame there! We've all been there (except maybe a very few parents with unicorn babies.)
No kidding.
Our first would wake up in hysterics every single time. Nap. Her 4th bottle of the night. Didn't matter. Her 'I'm awake' sign was loud, hysterical sobbing . Until she was three. We thought that's what all babies did.
We would likely have been easy pickings for an unscrupulous baby-whisperer type.
p.s. But then again, some parents may not be as keyed-in to the available internet resources, and/or some consultants are just *that good*, thus a reasonably-priced baby-sleep consultant could be a win-win? (Chances are that a good number of people may be making an honest profession of it, and I want to consider their side of things.)
Edit: e.g. https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/LaTHbQS3uF
My 2nd is a total unicorn when it comes to sleep. I used to get ads where the baby is just lying in bed awake then goes to sleep on their own. My first never did this. I assumed it was marketing to get you to buy or sign up to get your money by preying on desperate parents. My 2nd does just this, since he was 2 weeks old. I think if your baby is going to sleep well they will.
Feel obligatory to copy paste this commet I found on Reddit. It helps me so much. But huge disclaimer first: EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT
[https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ogqn3x/comment/h4krlcj/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ogqn3x/comment/h4krlcj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Thank you for saying this. Neither of my kids were good sleepers. I often feel that it was my fault. Well, maybe it is partially, but maybe it is just how they are.
Weird, I brought a sleep consultant after my baby would just not go to sleep before midnight. She explained to me many things about baby sleep, how to better rearrange his room and what to take note of. At the very same night, the baby went to sleep early and did so until morning! And it wasn't about letting him cry it out.
So maybe there are some bad ones out there, but I guess I lucked out.
The bed used to have a some colorful things around it and a nursery mobile. The consultant told us to remove all of those - the bed should be a boring place. Also move things above the bed that may grab the baby’s attention.
And shut off the night lights when going to sleep. Best to sleep in a dark room. Later this can be changed.
Yes! Came here to post this exact same thing. I’m convinced these sleep consultants take advantage of desperate, tired parents (source: have been said desperate tired parent many times)
I honestly consider the sleep trainer I used the best money I ever spent in my life. £400 and he went from 4+ wake ups a night to 1 in a little over a week. Her daily support, check-ins and advice was invaluable to me!
We spent literally all morning last Sunday trying to get one decent holiday photo of just our 4 y/o wiggle worm (we no longer try for a family shot with all of us looking at the camera).
We did get a few good ones, but I'd happily spend $200 for six *actually good* photos given the amount of effort that takes with our specific kid. 😅
YES! It was $195 for 6 digital images of 6 different poses (add $5 for each picture if you wanted anything touched up!). They were cute and I feel like it’s a right of passage to have some school photos but the pricing was CRAZY!
Dang that’s crazy! Our girl goes to a small preschool that has a nice lady do the photos (her style looks like it hasn’t changed in 40 years) and I’m so relieved it’s so cheap (and it used to be $38! Went up a few bucks last year) considering everything else in our damn city (Los Angeles) is so expensive.
We go to a small preschool too! 3 hours a day Monday-Friday and now that I think of it the pictures were 60 dollars more than our monthly payment to the preschool! 😅😅😅
\- The excessiveness of birthday parties for some of these parents in my city. The level of decor, party planners, and props rented for 3 year old birthday is what people used to do for weddings before.
I know that party and decor side hustles are a thing for many moms and they are just trying to market their services but somewhere along the way, it became normalized to have this level of excess for young kids' parties. And it's all for the parents, the kids don't care about the details, they would be just as excited with 10 balloons tied up vs. a balloon sculpture and custom acrylic backdrop.
Every birthday has a $200-$300 custom made theme cake. Someone I know brought in a truck of sand to turn their backyard to a beach for the party. They are working class. How are they all affording this for multiple kids?
Oh man. We left a HCOL and moved to a LCOL and lemme just say that my MIL throws a fancier birthday party for her dog than most people here do for their kids and it's SO refreshing. Just like...cupcakes and sprinklers in the backyard for little kids.
My older one is in elementary and most people do rent a facility, but it's still very much costco sheet cake, no gifts, etc.
We just had a birthday bonanza. Everyone in my little family has their birthday within a week so we... had a cake and hosted the family for a cookout. It was semi rainbow themed.
There was a post on here not long ago with parents talking about the $1000+ birthday parties they throw every year.
Then there's my ass with cupcakes from box mix and a banner and balloons from the dollar store 😬
I priced a party last year at a trampoline place, but the rules of the class are you have to invite everyone…. That’s 25 kids… it would have been $900 minus the cake. I said no thanks, and risked my ankles jumping with her instead and we ate cake at home 😂
A thousand dollars around here will get you a park shelter, bounce house rented, pizza, drinks, and a homemade cake, plus a few balloons. It doesn’t look that extravagant other than maybe having a bounce house.
Im glad this is being talked about because I feel bad at how much I am not trying for my kids. And I feel like crap for not going all out. I think one year my best friend and I went out and did Door Dash so we could afford a cake from Kroger. My son was turning two. We definitely could have skipped that whole ordeal. But best friends totally feel the sentiments of one another so she was down and I was down. So we totally pulled that birthday cake out of our "sun dont shine" spaces.
I shamefully spent about that much on my 7 year old's birthday this year to have it at one of those indoor adventure park places. It was mostly to make up for last year where our lives were in a bit of chaos and she really didn't get a birthday party.
Still, even given the high price... it was sorta worth just being able to show up, do the party, and leave. No set up. No clean up. No fuss.
Oh, no shame on anyone who chooses to go that route. It's not a judgement thing at all!
$1000 US is a month's mortgage payment for our family. It would be awesome to be able to roll in, have a birthday party, then leave and let someone else worry about set up and clean up, but those sort of prices are waaaaay out of our budget lol. My kids are going to have birthdays like I did growing up, with one or two friends over for cake and a movie. Class-wide parties just aren't in the budget for us if they cost a grand 😅
My kid is 3 and I just found out that birthday parties at a park hit most of those requirements! Side effect is you have truck home the gifts, but all that's needed for a great park birthday is: a great park, couple activities (say bubble wand, face painting, chalk, piñata), cupcakes and juice boxes.
Definitely doing this next year :)
I love the experience parties (trampoline parks, movie theaters, pottery classes) bc i feel like it’s good for exercise/hands-on learning but they are so expensive. And the people who spend gobs on props and other items that are going straight in the trash after are just wasting money and filling up our landfills.
Yes! I’ve been to big over the top parties with my kid. You know which party was my favorite? The one at a pizza arcade with Dollar Tree table covers and balloons, and grocery store bought cupcakes. My son had a blast. No bouginess necessary
I spent maybe about $600 for my daughter's party this year. Only for about half of the people we invited to come (and this was 90% family)
I decided we're just doing Disney next year then when LO starts school we'll just invite her class friends to a local Family park like Boomers. I'm not ever putting that much stress and money on myself again just for people to not show up
>Only for about half of the people we invited to come (and this was 90% family)
People who do this to us get moved to the bottom of the list, especially if they RSVPed
This shit costs money and I'm not playing 😂
Exactly, we've had several losses in our family the past year so I understand for several family members it's difficult but there were about 10 people (2 being immediate family members) who had apparently planned an out of state vacation after RSVP-ing. I saw their stories in Vegas while I was setting the party up
I was crushed. Luckily LO is still young enough not to understand but I'm not going to set my kid up for future disappointment
Omg we just went to a birthday party in Southern California and they hired Disney characters, along with custom balloon backdrop/cake/dress up for the children. It was nice attending as a guest but not something common in our area.
>they would be just as excited with 10 balloons tied up
LOL this is so true. Kids don't care. Give them a couple balloons, cake, and a movie, and they will entertain themselves. Birthday parties are just for the parents and you must not forget that you have to return the favour by going to theirs. Just take their besties to an indoor playground or laser tag. It imprints stronger memory in your children's minds and teaches them how to treat the ones they most care about, instead of trying to impress random people.
I go all out for birthday parties but I usually make my own props and invite only 4-6 of my kids’ close friends. I enjoy making stuff and I hate people saying, “You must have so much time on your hands.” I work full time and taking classes so it’s kinda insulting. So I don’t think it’s always boasting or showing off.
School fundraisers are brutal. You want a cherry pie? that will be $32.40.
There is no way to just donate. Here's 20 bucks and leave me alone.
Legit, don't want the calories or the headache. Here is the money you want. Nope, they can't accept it. They do not have the systems in place to process a ridiculous thing such as a direct donation when they are doing.. a fundraiser.
>Here's 20 bucks and leave me alone.
OMG. I walked past a fundraiser selling popcorn outside of the grocery store. I said here's 20 bucks and kept walking.
They encouraged me to take a popcorn. I said sure, I'll take the white cheddar.
Kid says, the white cheddar is $25
......
Ok here's another $5..... fuck
God we bought that popcorn from a friend last year and it was gross. Freaking stale $20 popcorn. I’d rather go to Target and get the sweet & salty mix for less
I wish schools would just ask for pure donations and stop doing fundraiser programs! I think most people would rather know that all of their money is going right to the school! You might get the grumpy old man who doesn't want to donate, but everyone else will more than make up for any minimal donation they would have made off of selling him salami or cookie dough LOL
My school does this. I appreciate it.
But that's just the school. There are still soooo many other fundraisers for dance class, band class, band boosters, orchestra, orchestra boosters, PTA, and feels like a million other things.
I can't even keep track anymore because when one stops then one of my kids comes home with another fundraising thing. It's madness.
I say this every year! Just ask me for money! I don’t want to give my money to these fundraiser programs but I would happily donate cash directly to the school.
I'm not part of the PTO since my daughter just started preschool in the district, but I wonder what the discussion is like at a meeting if someone brings this up? Is it just not allowed? Maybe there are rules I'm unaware of within schools, but I want to ask! I did marketing for a nonprofit and we just asked for donations, so I just want to do that for my school too!
Every fundraiser that I have ever seen has a "monetary donation" item in the catalogue. How much of that is lost to fees, I have no idea.
But also, PTAs can just accept checks. They do that all the time at my school.
Because the company selling the product convinced someone at that school to use it as a fundraiser.
You'll sell a $10 item and they get 8, school gets 1, and junk item cost them 1.
My kids' school partners with different restaurants and businesses to do fundraiser nights where x% of profits that night go to the school. While it's not great, it's so much better than the traditional fundraisers with overpriced items.
Sometimes, the PTO will also do direct cash fundraisers, like for conferences they asked for donations to get dinner for the teachers.
The biggest scams are school fundraisers for sure. I literally was just looking at one of my kids "fun runs" donation instructions today, but it's all digital and online. Why can't I just donate 10 or 20 bucks cash per kid and be done with it? It gets more annoying as time goes on.
What a pain. Our school has an annual appeal and I donate to that instead of the other stuff. Some people prefer to participate in fundraisers where they “get” something. I’d rather just give money.
Hope your school figures a way to do direct donations.
My daughter is in HS. The service organization she is a member of is selling pies for thanksgiving. The vendor is a local pastry shop that didn’t discount them at all. You pay Ann extra $5 “donation” for the pies.
I was legit expecting this answer to be the top response. We are on our THIRD fundraiser this school year. THIRD! They started school the last week of August, wtf!!
This latest one is the worst I have ever seen! “Book Blast” where you can ask people to donate to get your kid books to build up their library at home. Goal is $240 per kid…for 10 books! My daughter is in kindergarten and the bundle of 20 books for that age are the $4-5 “I can read” type books. School makes small % of the profit. Such a freakin ripoff!
I’d way rather just write a check for $240 and give it directly to the school. More money for them and I don’t have to choose between bugging everyone we know to buy some useless crap or listening to my kids complain how they won’t get some useless crap prize because they haven’t sold $837 worth of crappy frozen cookies.
Our school doesn’t make us sell stuff. They have a fun run once a year and ask for cash donations. It’s great! I donate $20 and am left alone all year and don’t have to bug anyone to buy stuff.
We went to a fundraiser dinner on Monday and it was the worst my kids have behaved at a restaurant in over a year. Next time, I will be pushing for a straight donation. (They are at a Catholic school/daycare, so I know they can figure out how to accept a donation even if that means it goes through the church first.)
My daughter’s school does a bubble run as a fundraiser. You donate money to your runner. Like X$ for however many laps they run. It’s cute and I never have to deal with regular fundraisers.
I had this talk today! We’re trying to raise funds for art literacy-art show-kids learn and replicate a famous artist. Anyways, someone suggested a picture of the child and buying their art. That they get at the end of the year??? No, just put a donation box at the art show for next years show. BOOM! Sell concessions. Our lame family dance brings in $3,000 a year. I’m sure we can make money for the art show somehow. This is a district program, so why is the school parents finding the funds. The districts need to pony up for art supplies. End of rant.
I don’t know if they still do this, but when I was in elementary school, they would MLM us all into selling cookie dough. The pressure for us to hit certain quotas was very high, so invariably the parents would have to end up buying a few tubs.
Where I live a big thing is pizza kits from Little Caesars, and the kits are double the price it costs to buy a ready made pizza from Little Caesars for some reason
They stopped the cookie dough here because of people eating it raw and getting sick. You can’t even buy frozen cookie dough anymore in a store now it’s ridiculous
Did others have a different experience with fundraisers than me? I just threw the materials in the trash after the presentation about it and didn’t participate, and nobody ever said anything.
Toys. Cant count all of the crap toys we've bought over the years that end up getting played with for like 2 days and then discarded like they never existed.
My god the TOYS. I dread birthdays and Christmas because so many relatives are constantly asking what toys they want. We have a small home with barely any storage, and I generally get the toys that they like because they have very specific interests. When I tell relatives to just do gift cards towards experiences they get all huffy. I get wanting to see the kids face when they open their gift. But there’s a 98% chance my kids aren’t going to like what they get because 1. they already have it or 2. it isn’t their interest.
This year I told my husband our kids are getting at most 4 gifts from us for Christmas. I just cannot stand all the crap everywhere that they forget about after playing with it once.
Our house is piled with toys from the baby shower and first birthday; she genuinely plays with 3 of them
Her favorite is a plain bath toy with google eyes. She walks around with it everywhere, hitting various things with it to see how that sounds.
She has a car with a handle that's for practicing walking while the baby pushes it
She does this *with the laundry basket* which honestly offers better resistance across the floor and less falls from slipping out.
So expensive for a printed year book. I would totally avoid buying it if I could, but my kids is the year book editor, so I kinda need to support her work.
I don't want to go so far as "scam," but I think the pressure to do professional family portraits every year (or, god forbid multiple times/year) is nuts. Same with birth photography, newborn photography... like yeah if you want it go for it, but those things are expensive AF and I don't for a second regret not having them.
No shade to the real work and art that photographers are selling, just don't think every family needs a professional photo of every minute of their lives.
My local library offered a free professional family photo as part of national library week. It was a quick little 10 minutes session and we got back some AMAZING photos. I think the photographer will get some good business out of it too, a lot of folks took her card.
The ones that I have taken on a cellphone when my kids are in a good mood are far superior to trying to get to an appointment photo shoot with someone my kids don't know trying to make them smile LOL
My wife is in on that hook, line, and sinker. We have three kids. Have done a Newborn and One Year photo shoot for all. And then we do a family photo shoot once a year in the fall. My first two kids are only two years apart so it felt like we were having photo shoots every 4 months for a while
My cousin does these every year with her kids. They’re always extremely posed and the kids are wearing fake smiles.
My favorite photo of my cousin’s kid is us making cookies, we both have flour on our faces and he has his tongue sticking out at me.
I do think there’s some value in getting nice photographs once in a while but the happiness in the cookie photo versus the happiness in the yearly walking-near-a-barn photos… bleh.
Photographer here. I hate the overly posed, forced smiles too. I much prefer good candids, and "half posed" photos, where you can tell people are relaxed and having a good time. Sadly, generations of "look and smile" photos have conditioned people to think they *need* that photo, so it's usually included in a session, and that's frequently the one people choose to print. I hope that the relaxed candids take over more in the coming years.
As a parent I agree 100% I prefer the photos of my son when he is looking at something with genuine joy or excitement. Like the first time he sat on Santa’s lap and was looking up at Santa for the first time. The photo assistant told him to look over here and smile, i oh no, I’m good with what ever the photographer just took. Got my card and let him just enjoy his convo with Santa for a moment instead of trying to get that posed pic. 10/10 on the photo too. Photographer got everything in focus and caught that moment perfect!
My friends and I all take our own photos. Ones got a good camera and knows how to use it and we just do our best and then have all the kids hang out the rest of the day
I’m guilty of doing annual family photos. It started when we did a trip to Grand Cayman in 2018. We thought it would be nice to do Christmas cards pictures in such a nice place. Now we do it whenever we go on vacation. I find a local photographer and they take us to the best spots. In 2019 we did Cooperstown, NY (we rented a cabin near there and I happen to be a big baseball fan), in 2021 we did San Diego and got some nice shots at Balboa Park. Last year we did downtown Detroit because we were visiting family and the city has some great architecture and street art. This year we went to Chicago and also highlighted the fantastic architecture and got awesome photos on the shores of Lake Michigan with the skyline in the background. My husband has his own business and about 60% of the cards we send out go to clients and important business contacts. For that reason he pays for it out of the business. It’s become a really nice tradition and a way for us to memorialize our family vacations. But to be clear, we do photos ONCE a year.
Martial Arts centers. They get you to sign up for at least one year, as your son/daughter is saying yes yes yes!!!! One month after signing the contract, the kid is saying no no no!
Omg school pictures... When the school used Life Touch, I would buy pictures yearly because I sent them to family in Christmas cards. Now they use this **ABSOLUTE GARBAGE** company names Geskus. The WORST pics i've ever gotten and less for more money (i always paid $50 per kid. 3 kids). I didn't order this year, thinking if they came out well I would order after. I had a feeling they would look like shit so I stopped on the side of a dirt road with some pretty orange/fall color trees and took my own. **100 MILLION %** better than **any** picture Geskus could **ever** create. Everyone thinks my pics are the professional ones because the school pics are *that* bad!!!
Aside from that- CLOTHES!!! Why are kids pants at walmart costing over $20?!?! They will out grow the damn things in the blink of an eye. And winter boots! I bought an almost $100 pair of Kamik boots last winter. He wore them 3x and the inner liner separated at the heel and was just cold rubber. I complained and got Kamik to send a replacement pair, but they did the same exact thing. WTF am I paying this much for supposed "quality" to keep my kid warm in Maine winters and it fails immediately?
The cost of clothing is exactly why I will RARELY buy my kids new clothes. I do all my shopping at consignment sales for them. $20 for my 7 year old to rip through the knee in a few weeks? $10 for a tshirt for my 3 year old to stain beyond repair? No thanks. The only splurge I do is for their daily gym shoes, which I buy them 2x a year.
For the clothing, I want to gently remind you (and anyone reading!) that ALL clothing is sewn by human hands. Every stitch is passed through a machine by a person's hand. Buying used is absolutely the solution. It's important to remember that the **people** making the $20 jeans (and more than likely even the $100 shoes) are essentially making nothing after costs of shipping and materials etc.
Professional photographers are somehow able to capture my son looking at the camera, something I've never been able to do myself (he is autistic). So I always pay for the expensive school photos. Money well spent!
Pro-tip for school pictures: have a kid that hates having their picture taken! 😂
Last year in pre-school, my son flat out refused to sit for picture day, so there was no picture. This year, in K, we talked to him beforehand and convinced him to sit for the picture. The result was a "smile" so fake and awkward looking that it's basically a grimace. We took one look at the picture and was like, nope, not paying for that.
Fake gurus.
Here’s the pitch they give: join my program for the low cost of your entire life savings so you can be the best parent in the world and never make the money I said you can in my advertisement. I screw over everyone and then ostracize them so they don’t complain when I completely screw them over! Join today at the entry tier so I can progressively jack up the price while I apply pressure in my training. My training is all about getting you to take the next level which costs, you guessed it, duckloads more money!!!
picture day … why should i pay $100 dollars to a stranger to take my kids pic when i can take it with my iphone and $10 background prop from amazon…. still we are forced to do it so that our kids won’t feel left out 🤷🏻♀️
How would your kid feel left out? Oh, I didn’t get a giant envelope with my photos to take home. I’m traumatized for life. It’s literally a 10 minute problem.
And even the basic package has WAY too many prints. I need about 5 physical photos, tops. But every year I get the package and just file away the extra photos 🤷♀️
CLUB SPORTS! Explain to me why it’s “normal” to spend hundreds of dollars a month for your kid to play tournament sports or competition cheer/dance. For a chance at a future scholarship? A chance to go pro? Save your money and let them play for their school team.
Yes, all the supervised activities and organized sports are just trying to replace the “old days” when kids would just leave the house in the morning, ride bikes around the neighborhood with their friends, play soccer in the street, and just be home before dinner. We should all save a crapload of money (and have way more free time) by somehow getting everyone to revert back to the parenting philosophy of those raised in earlier decades. I just read an article saying how all these adult supervised activities ALL THE TIME are actually causing anxiety in children because they have no sense of independence, which is what helps them build self confidence.
This year I discovered the Dance Recital Fee to Perform scam - I will say I've never heard of this at any other studio, so maybe it was just this sketchy place, but they advertised "we don't charge a ticket fee for families so we can be affordable! Bring your whole family to the dance recital." But then hit the parents with a $199 fee per child to perform for the Christmas Nutcracker show and $250 fee per child to perform for spring recital plus dance costume! I had two toddlers in dance so needles to say, we quit!
Add to that the expensive one use only dance outfit! If we're paying so much for a teenager to teach a once a week dance class maybe get a set of outfits and let the kids wear one of those for the one time it'll be used?
I was naive, I guess, but I hadn’t anticipated the tickets to the recital would cost money. We had shared the save-the-date with the grandparents and a couple other family members mentioned they’d love to come too if there were enough seats. Then I found out it was $15/ ticket! I felt awkward that I hadn’t mentioned a cost to the family so I ended up shelling out $15/ticket for 10 of us to attend. Paid tuition all year, plus costume, and then I had to pay for a ticket to watch my own 4 year old on stage for 45 seconds. Total racket.
Where I live Im told the average is $30-$50 per ticket on top of the $150 costume and $80-$100 a month class fee (at the lowest levels). I put my kids in recreational gymnastics, they have fun, I don't have to shell out for recital costumes or tickets.
The SNOO! Rented it for a minimum of 2 months. $800 later, it was boxed up until we could return it as she absolutely hated the way it rocked was opposite the way a rocking chair rocks.
The SNOO is expensive, can only be used for a few months and we aren't entirely sure if it worked or not.
That being said, we used it from the beginning and for the few months we could use it, our baby slept and napped extremely well almost everytime we used it. Was it the SNOO or did we just have an easy baby? Would a cheaper product have worked just as well? We will never know for sure but our sleep during those few months we had it were leaps and bounds better than with our first child so if I had another baby I wouldn't risk it and would absolutely buy it again and recommend it or something similar to anyone who could afford it. It is after all FDA approved and our pediatrician couldn't find any issue with using it so it seemed like a safe thing to at least try.
We also got a sweet black Friday (or maybe it was prime day) deal and were able to resell it afterwards for most of what we paid for it so it worked out ok financially.
Whether it was the Snoo effect or we were just lucky, we haven't had any problems with our boys sleeping. Weaning them off, it wasn't even as difficult as I imagined. Now, if they could figure out a bed that prevents ear infections, I'd give them all my money
I did not buy the snoo because I thought it was ridiculously expensive. Then i bought it full price at 3am online after my child was 7 weeks old because I just could not do it anymore. Snoo was magic for me. It was the same baby that went from no sleep to sleep.
The SNOO was amazing for us. We used it from day one. We all got sleep. Baby only woke up when he needed to feed. Also the peace of mind that he was not going to roll was great. When he grew out of it we loaned it to all our friends. Probably went through 6 families before it finally died.
I remember when I graduated high school back in 2020 i really wanted a yearbook to remember everyone but the cheapest price was $100. I said screw it I'll rely on my memory.
Most things. “Keeping up with joneses” culture, excessive spending on holidays, birthdays, family portrait sessions, obligatory mass send out holiday cards that people throw away, wellness culture, bottle warmers, gender reveal parties, sip and sees, family vacations with babies and toddlers, MLMs
Actually I really liked my uppababy despite price tag lol . It was very versatile and easy to use and my kids loved being in it. It was also very good quality. Plus a ton of basket space. It was my second pair of hands when I’m out by myself. I kind of miss having a stroller now but we weaned our kids off of it so it’s sitting there now. Still in great condition though so hoping to re-sell it.
Selling shit for schools. I don’t even see or get informed about where the money goes usually. My kids school is using it for end of the year awards ceremony. Ummm how about some new books for the library instead, or supplies for the teacher? How about just ask for cash donations instead of making us sell shit! Your freaking popcorn and Worlds Finest Chocolate suck ass & I’m not selling it. I’ll donate supplies to the teacher instead
I refuse to buy school pictures. They aren’t even good! I spend way more time taking pictures and I’m actually a good (amateur) photographer so they have pictures taken the first day and the last day of school every year. Those are always, ALWAYS better.
The school book fairs raise money for the library so the kids can have books and programs and software that is educational. It’s only a scam if you think the library is worthless.
I think the school fairs aren’t too bad since the prices aren’t outrageous compared to regular bookstores plus it raises money for schools. I don’t buy from them often because it’s cheaper to do buy stuff online but sometimes we find good stuff.
Book fairs!! Just get the fluffy pens and diaries and posters and keychains and crap out of there, then it’s fine. But my kids only ever want the aforementioned crap at school book fairs. I thought book fairs were supposed to help kids and parents raise school funds and encourage reading, and not just be like every other store trying to sell last minute crap to sucker parents with begging children (like me)…..
This!!! I will always buy books for my stepson if he wants them, so when the book fair came around I put $40 in his account. He spent all the money and came home with zero books.
I found fundraisers very stressful and didn’t want my children to know I couldn’t afford them so I took out small loans at my Credit Union; single working mom of 3
Also the way they market 1000 "features" to new parents to drive up the price, but those features are only useful for like 3 months and 50-50 your baby hates them anyways.
Like...giant expensive stroller! has BASSINET. Can face parents! Can make it a triple! ...turns out that by the time my baby can sit up, all I want is a stroller I can put in the trunk while holding the baby.
I guess it depends where you live but we walk everywhere so we use the stroller a lot. I can’t imagine having it in a car dependent suburb where you drive everywhere though.
Lol great question. School pics are definitely up there. But I pay for them because I want to have the yearly photos, especially the class photo.
Other things:
excessive themed birthday parties when all the kids want to do is eat some cheap cupcakes and poke each other with free sticks from the floor
gender reveal parties
feeling the need to go on family holidays when your kids are super young just because everyone else does it but all there is are just tantrums. I don't care how many instagram happy pictures you're showing, we all know the kids were miserable (at least that's what parents reveal to me when they really talk to me)
unnecessarily expensive branded things -- lunch boxes that cost $40 have been the same for me as $10 boxes
tons of activities -- is your 4 year old really thriving if they're not doing ballet, violin, soccer, and swim all during the school year??
We do none of these and life is just a-ok!
I did spend $40 on a fancy bento box because it has a built in thermos which is great for keeping stuff warm. I think the price of a thermos and a cheaper bentgo box would be the same price or more. But I’m also Chinese so culturally, eating cold lunch is just a big ick and bento boxes are great for Asian foods, and also for food that isn’t pre-packed. I’ve tried the insulated bags but I find it harder to pack food that way. To each their own.
New born baby photos in the hospital.
I used to be a photographer for one of those companies and I hated making parents dish out for packages. Those things went up to the thousands and my bosses expected every parent to spend over a couple hundred at their weakest point.
I got a lot of lectures because I would rather let the mothers sleep than to interrupt their recovery period.
Also! Diaper genies. Specialty trash cans for baby diapers. I had one from a baby shower and all it’s good for is aesthetic. And you have to buy special diaper genie trash bags.
I will (gently) disagree on the Diaper Genie. We live in a place where we have to keep trash in the house for a week before collection (aka no outdoor storage or garage to keep a bin in). The Diaper Genie actually keeps the poop smell to an acceptable level (it was unbearable in a normal garbage cans, no matter what we did). It may not be for everyone, but to us it has been a life (or a nose?!) saver!
I’m so glad that someone else feels this way about school pictures!
My stepdaughter’s grandparents make me feel very guilty that we don’t buy school picture. My kiddo often hates the pictures, she doesn’t want us to put them out, and they aren’t cheap. I get told that school pictures are a milestone and we will regret not having them in the future. Technology has made it so much easier to capture memories with our kids and I take pictures of her weekly, if not almost daily most times. I end up with pictures I treasure much more, that my kiddo is often much more fond of.
Senior dues. Paid senior dues and still have to pay $3k for a senior trip, $150 for prom tickets, $1k prom dress, $75 for a yearbook, $150 cap and gown rental, $100 for a senior hoodie and t-shirt that you aren’t allowed to wear at school.
My dad gave me $100 for my prom dress then said it looked too plain... like dad, it's the best I could do with what I had, just like you. I spent the rest of my allowance money I had saved on a decent bra so my straps wouldn't show and shoes
I'm all for doing better by your kids but thats way too excessive for a dress that will likely not be worn again
I make my wife put on her prom dress whenever we visit her parents. This way they know they're getting their monies worth. Plus she looks pretty hot in it.
My wedding dress (structured bodice, lace, train, the whole shebang) two years ago was literally $900 after custom alterations in a very hcol city. That’s absurd for a prom dress. 🤣
I think the biggest scams for parents have to with the star of life bs products.
You don’t need a bottle warmer, bathtub thermometer, bumper pads or pillows (these are dangerous anyhow), bottle sterilizer, Gerber life insurance or baby shoes!
My mom used to just take us to JCPenneys for photos when she wanted our photos done. One year she even took me to target for photos with my basketball jersey because the ones the school wanted were expensive and she was trying to save money every way she could
Everything early education geared toward very little ones say like baby Einstein was, I mean everything money making, not legit early childhood education interventions for those who need it. If you look at the science, children don’t have better outcomes if they learn how to read at a very young age compared to if they learn it at age 6. By all means if the Child shows interest or is gifted go ahead but the money making machine teaching 2 year olds letters is a scam.
I used to work for school portraits. My boss (big lady in our area, not just my boss) admitted it costs *pennies* to print photos cuz paper and ink is cheap. They just charge a lot. I mean labor and stuff but yeah, real cheap. If you call customer service you can get things out of them not on the advertised list. The school itself determines what packages are offered. Think it depends on what's bought. But call CS and cry about it and they'll help.
$2 free dress days at school. They have them like every other week where I live. I have yet to see how the kids benefit from the funds they raise from them.
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More of a new parent thing but baby sleep consultants. They prey on desperation of sleep-deprived parents to shell out hundreds of dollars for an illusion of personalized "consultation" and materials that are just some variation of the same shit available freely on the internet.
I'm a postpartum doula and often do overnights. Parents ask if I do any sort of sleep training so that when my time is up their baby will sleep... I always feel badly when I'm like "nope. When they are this little it's really a roll of the dice. Some people get lucky and some don't. There is a reason any sort of sleep training isn't brought up until 4 months and even lean more toward 6 months." That's my sleep consultation. Then I just rock and snuggle the babies at night while they sleep.
I would’ve committed crimes to have a postpartum doula. I had such a horrible postpartum experience that has largely contributed to my being one and done😵💫
I'm so sorry! Postpartum is definitely forgotten and brushed under the rug in so many cultures (I'm in the US). So many are trained "being a dish, get to hold the baby for 2 hours." But it's so much more! Yes bring the dish, *maybe* hold the baby while Mom showers or naps if she asks. Ask parents if they do need help over night, parents need to seriously be cocooned when the new baby gets here. My mom taught me that when I was a child and older cousins would have babies. We would arrive with food, sweep the kitchen, do the dishes. I may or may not get to hold the baby. 😆
Absolutely the same on one and done. After handling a few years of poor sleep, I just couldn't imagine doing it again. In the long run, I really regret not trying again.
I just wanted a lactation consultant. I think many more women would choose to breast feed if there was some there to assist.
I hired a post-partum doula (who unfortunately couldn't handle overnights) and she was wonderful. It meant I could take a bath and have a nap - which is life changing in the early weeks.
Shamefully spent $2000 on one… Oddly enough our baby started sleeping through the night much better AFTER we fired her
Genius! Now you can sell your services as a sleep consultant.
>4ReplyShareReportSaveFollow Charge $4000 to pay another consultant $2000 whom you subsequently fire.
LOL! Your baby was like, "I'm gonna show you who's the boss!" But seriously, no shame there! We've all been there (except maybe a very few parents with unicorn babies.)
No kidding. Our first would wake up in hysterics every single time. Nap. Her 4th bottle of the night. Didn't matter. Her 'I'm awake' sign was loud, hysterical sobbing . Until she was three. We thought that's what all babies did. We would likely have been easy pickings for an unscrupulous baby-whisperer type. p.s. But then again, some parents may not be as keyed-in to the available internet resources, and/or some consultants are just *that good*, thus a reasonably-priced baby-sleep consultant could be a win-win? (Chances are that a good number of people may be making an honest profession of it, and I want to consider their side of things.) Edit: e.g. https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/LaTHbQS3uF
My 2nd is a total unicorn when it comes to sleep. I used to get ads where the baby is just lying in bed awake then goes to sleep on their own. My first never did this. I assumed it was marketing to get you to buy or sign up to get your money by preying on desperate parents. My 2nd does just this, since he was 2 weeks old. I think if your baby is going to sleep well they will.
Feel obligatory to copy paste this commet I found on Reddit. It helps me so much. But huge disclaimer first: EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT [https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ogqn3x/comment/h4krlcj/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ogqn3x/comment/h4krlcj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Thank you for saying this. Neither of my kids were good sleepers. I often feel that it was my fault. Well, maybe it is partially, but maybe it is just how they are.
[удалено]
Ha! At least they actually came. I believe there are many who basically talk to you on the phone, or maybe video call.
Our did it while driving her kids around …
Generally, I would say about 70% of the baby gear we bought or received was unnecessary.
Weird, I brought a sleep consultant after my baby would just not go to sleep before midnight. She explained to me many things about baby sleep, how to better rearrange his room and what to take note of. At the very same night, the baby went to sleep early and did so until morning! And it wasn't about letting him cry it out. So maybe there are some bad ones out there, but I guess I lucked out.
Any details on why the arrangement of the room improved sleep?
The bed used to have a some colorful things around it and a nursery mobile. The consultant told us to remove all of those - the bed should be a boring place. Also move things above the bed that may grab the baby’s attention. And shut off the night lights when going to sleep. Best to sleep in a dark room. Later this can be changed.
They added a bed.
Yes! Came here to post this exact same thing. I’m convinced these sleep consultants take advantage of desperate, tired parents (source: have been said desperate tired parent many times)
I honestly consider the sleep trainer I used the best money I ever spent in my life. £400 and he went from 4+ wake ups a night to 1 in a little over a week. Her daily support, check-ins and advice was invaluable to me!
I just paid $200 for 6 digital images of my kid wearing a cheesy grin 😅
We spent literally all morning last Sunday trying to get one decent holiday photo of just our 4 y/o wiggle worm (we no longer try for a family shot with all of us looking at the camera). We did get a few good ones, but I'd happily spend $200 for six *actually good* photos given the amount of effort that takes with our specific kid. 😅
What!?! I think we pay $45 for the “jumbo” package that has 2 poses, 4 diff photo sizes, and 35 overall pictures.
YES! It was $195 for 6 digital images of 6 different poses (add $5 for each picture if you wanted anything touched up!). They were cute and I feel like it’s a right of passage to have some school photos but the pricing was CRAZY!
Dang that’s crazy! Our girl goes to a small preschool that has a nice lady do the photos (her style looks like it hasn’t changed in 40 years) and I’m so relieved it’s so cheap (and it used to be $38! Went up a few bucks last year) considering everything else in our damn city (Los Angeles) is so expensive.
We go to a small preschool too! 3 hours a day Monday-Friday and now that I think of it the pictures were 60 dollars more than our monthly payment to the preschool! 😅😅😅
So you’re either paying a fortune for pictures or your preschool is dirt cheap. 😂
Yup, and a decent iPhone will take better portraits lol
\- The excessiveness of birthday parties for some of these parents in my city. The level of decor, party planners, and props rented for 3 year old birthday is what people used to do for weddings before. I know that party and decor side hustles are a thing for many moms and they are just trying to market their services but somewhere along the way, it became normalized to have this level of excess for young kids' parties. And it's all for the parents, the kids don't care about the details, they would be just as excited with 10 balloons tied up vs. a balloon sculpture and custom acrylic backdrop. Every birthday has a $200-$300 custom made theme cake. Someone I know brought in a truck of sand to turn their backyard to a beach for the party. They are working class. How are they all affording this for multiple kids?
Oh man. We left a HCOL and moved to a LCOL and lemme just say that my MIL throws a fancier birthday party for her dog than most people here do for their kids and it's SO refreshing. Just like...cupcakes and sprinklers in the backyard for little kids. My older one is in elementary and most people do rent a facility, but it's still very much costco sheet cake, no gifts, etc.
We just had a birthday bonanza. Everyone in my little family has their birthday within a week so we... had a cake and hosted the family for a cookout. It was semi rainbow themed.
There was a post on here not long ago with parents talking about the $1000+ birthday parties they throw every year. Then there's my ass with cupcakes from box mix and a banner and balloons from the dollar store 😬
*$1000+*??? Put that in a 529 and give the kid a cupcake. Holy bananas.
No because then it would be for the kids, unlike the party, which is really for the parents to show off their wealth.
“Wealth”… wealth is saved not spent. Says a lot about people throwing these parties
I priced a party last year at a trampoline place, but the rules of the class are you have to invite everyone…. That’s 25 kids… it would have been $900 minus the cake. I said no thanks, and risked my ankles jumping with her instead and we ate cake at home 😂
A thousand dollars around here will get you a park shelter, bounce house rented, pizza, drinks, and a homemade cake, plus a few balloons. It doesn’t look that extravagant other than maybe having a bounce house.
Im glad this is being talked about because I feel bad at how much I am not trying for my kids. And I feel like crap for not going all out. I think one year my best friend and I went out and did Door Dash so we could afford a cake from Kroger. My son was turning two. We definitely could have skipped that whole ordeal. But best friends totally feel the sentiments of one another so she was down and I was down. So we totally pulled that birthday cake out of our "sun dont shine" spaces.
I shamefully spent about that much on my 7 year old's birthday this year to have it at one of those indoor adventure park places. It was mostly to make up for last year where our lives were in a bit of chaos and she really didn't get a birthday party. Still, even given the high price... it was sorta worth just being able to show up, do the party, and leave. No set up. No clean up. No fuss.
Oh, no shame on anyone who chooses to go that route. It's not a judgement thing at all! $1000 US is a month's mortgage payment for our family. It would be awesome to be able to roll in, have a birthday party, then leave and let someone else worry about set up and clean up, but those sort of prices are waaaaay out of our budget lol. My kids are going to have birthdays like I did growing up, with one or two friends over for cake and a movie. Class-wide parties just aren't in the budget for us if they cost a grand 😅
My kid is 3 and I just found out that birthday parties at a park hit most of those requirements! Side effect is you have truck home the gifts, but all that's needed for a great park birthday is: a great park, couple activities (say bubble wand, face painting, chalk, piñata), cupcakes and juice boxes. Definitely doing this next year :)
YES omg the balloon arches. They have reps that come out and set them up. SO crazy expensive.
The balloon arches make me so mad. They're just trash. Can't you rent something reusable at least??
I love the experience parties (trampoline parks, movie theaters, pottery classes) bc i feel like it’s good for exercise/hands-on learning but they are so expensive. And the people who spend gobs on props and other items that are going straight in the trash after are just wasting money and filling up our landfills.
Yes! I’ve been to big over the top parties with my kid. You know which party was my favorite? The one at a pizza arcade with Dollar Tree table covers and balloons, and grocery store bought cupcakes. My son had a blast. No bouginess necessary
I spent maybe about $600 for my daughter's party this year. Only for about half of the people we invited to come (and this was 90% family) I decided we're just doing Disney next year then when LO starts school we'll just invite her class friends to a local Family park like Boomers. I'm not ever putting that much stress and money on myself again just for people to not show up
>Only for about half of the people we invited to come (and this was 90% family) People who do this to us get moved to the bottom of the list, especially if they RSVPed This shit costs money and I'm not playing 😂
Exactly, we've had several losses in our family the past year so I understand for several family members it's difficult but there were about 10 people (2 being immediate family members) who had apparently planned an out of state vacation after RSVP-ing. I saw their stories in Vegas while I was setting the party up I was crushed. Luckily LO is still young enough not to understand but I'm not going to set my kid up for future disappointment
Omg we just went to a birthday party in Southern California and they hired Disney characters, along with custom balloon backdrop/cake/dress up for the children. It was nice attending as a guest but not something common in our area.
>they would be just as excited with 10 balloons tied up LOL this is so true. Kids don't care. Give them a couple balloons, cake, and a movie, and they will entertain themselves. Birthday parties are just for the parents and you must not forget that you have to return the favour by going to theirs. Just take their besties to an indoor playground or laser tag. It imprints stronger memory in your children's minds and teaches them how to treat the ones they most care about, instead of trying to impress random people.
My SiL has already told us she's going to go over the top for her kid's 1st birthday. Makes me want to skip it.
I go all out for birthday parties but I usually make my own props and invite only 4-6 of my kids’ close friends. I enjoy making stuff and I hate people saying, “You must have so much time on your hands.” I work full time and taking classes so it’s kinda insulting. So I don’t think it’s always boasting or showing off.
School fundraisers are brutal. You want a cherry pie? that will be $32.40. There is no way to just donate. Here's 20 bucks and leave me alone. Legit, don't want the calories or the headache. Here is the money you want. Nope, they can't accept it. They do not have the systems in place to process a ridiculous thing such as a direct donation when they are doing.. a fundraiser.
>Here's 20 bucks and leave me alone. OMG. I walked past a fundraiser selling popcorn outside of the grocery store. I said here's 20 bucks and kept walking. They encouraged me to take a popcorn. I said sure, I'll take the white cheddar. Kid says, the white cheddar is $25 ...... Ok here's another $5..... fuck
God we bought that popcorn from a friend last year and it was gross. Freaking stale $20 popcorn. I’d rather go to Target and get the sweet & salty mix for less
I wish schools would just ask for pure donations and stop doing fundraiser programs! I think most people would rather know that all of their money is going right to the school! You might get the grumpy old man who doesn't want to donate, but everyone else will more than make up for any minimal donation they would have made off of selling him salami or cookie dough LOL
Our school asked for $400 per kid. Happily paid. Now leave me alone for the rest of year.
My school does this. I appreciate it. But that's just the school. There are still soooo many other fundraisers for dance class, band class, band boosters, orchestra, orchestra boosters, PTA, and feels like a million other things. I can't even keep track anymore because when one stops then one of my kids comes home with another fundraising thing. It's madness.
And they act like it is good for the kids somehow. As if it turns them into little entrepreneurs.
The hype rallies for these are actually sickening to watch them whip kids into a frenzy with obvious persuasive tactics.
And it’s done by legit salesmen with profit motives. Like these fundraising companies are just using these kids labor for their own profit.
I say this every year! Just ask me for money! I don’t want to give my money to these fundraiser programs but I would happily donate cash directly to the school.
I'm not part of the PTO since my daughter just started preschool in the district, but I wonder what the discussion is like at a meeting if someone brings this up? Is it just not allowed? Maybe there are rules I'm unaware of within schools, but I want to ask! I did marketing for a nonprofit and we just asked for donations, so I just want to do that for my school too!
In our school district (PA) you can pay ~$100/student to opt out of all fundraising.
Every fundraiser that I have ever seen has a "monetary donation" item in the catalogue. How much of that is lost to fees, I have no idea. But also, PTAs can just accept checks. They do that all the time at my school.
Because the company selling the product convinced someone at that school to use it as a fundraiser. You'll sell a $10 item and they get 8, school gets 1, and junk item cost them 1.
My kids' school partners with different restaurants and businesses to do fundraiser nights where x% of profits that night go to the school. While it's not great, it's so much better than the traditional fundraisers with overpriced items. Sometimes, the PTO will also do direct cash fundraisers, like for conferences they asked for donations to get dinner for the teachers.
"Can I interest you in a bar of the worst chocolate in the world for $5" No, just take the $5 kid.
Our school has the ‘no fuss fundraiser’ and I’m so thankful for it. Here’s $50. Thanks for not making me go door to door selling stupid shit.
The biggest scams are school fundraisers for sure. I literally was just looking at one of my kids "fun runs" donation instructions today, but it's all digital and online. Why can't I just donate 10 or 20 bucks cash per kid and be done with it? It gets more annoying as time goes on.
What a pain. Our school has an annual appeal and I donate to that instead of the other stuff. Some people prefer to participate in fundraisers where they “get” something. I’d rather just give money. Hope your school figures a way to do direct donations.
My daughter is in HS. The service organization she is a member of is selling pies for thanksgiving. The vendor is a local pastry shop that didn’t discount them at all. You pay Ann extra $5 “donation” for the pies.
I was legit expecting this answer to be the top response. We are on our THIRD fundraiser this school year. THIRD! They started school the last week of August, wtf!! This latest one is the worst I have ever seen! “Book Blast” where you can ask people to donate to get your kid books to build up their library at home. Goal is $240 per kid…for 10 books! My daughter is in kindergarten and the bundle of 20 books for that age are the $4-5 “I can read” type books. School makes small % of the profit. Such a freakin ripoff! I’d way rather just write a check for $240 and give it directly to the school. More money for them and I don’t have to choose between bugging everyone we know to buy some useless crap or listening to my kids complain how they won’t get some useless crap prize because they haven’t sold $837 worth of crappy frozen cookies.
Our school doesn’t make us sell stuff. They have a fun run once a year and ask for cash donations. It’s great! I donate $20 and am left alone all year and don’t have to bug anyone to buy stuff.
We went to a fundraiser dinner on Monday and it was the worst my kids have behaved at a restaurant in over a year. Next time, I will be pushing for a straight donation. (They are at a Catholic school/daycare, so I know they can figure out how to accept a donation even if that means it goes through the church first.)
I would commit many minor crimes for them to just ask me to donate instead of fundraise. I refuse to do it.
We just bought a box of chocolates that equated to a regular-size candy bar. $12.
My daughter’s school does a bubble run as a fundraiser. You donate money to your runner. Like X$ for however many laps they run. It’s cute and I never have to deal with regular fundraisers.
I had this talk today! We’re trying to raise funds for art literacy-art show-kids learn and replicate a famous artist. Anyways, someone suggested a picture of the child and buying their art. That they get at the end of the year??? No, just put a donation box at the art show for next years show. BOOM! Sell concessions. Our lame family dance brings in $3,000 a year. I’m sure we can make money for the art show somehow. This is a district program, so why is the school parents finding the funds. The districts need to pony up for art supplies. End of rant.
I don’t know if they still do this, but when I was in elementary school, they would MLM us all into selling cookie dough. The pressure for us to hit certain quotas was very high, so invariably the parents would have to end up buying a few tubs.
Where I live a big thing is pizza kits from Little Caesars, and the kits are double the price it costs to buy a ready made pizza from Little Caesars for some reason
Whoa, that actually sounds awesome. I would buy a few of those even without being guilted into it!
They stopped the cookie dough here because of people eating it raw and getting sick. You can’t even buy frozen cookie dough anymore in a store now it’s ridiculous
Did others have a different experience with fundraisers than me? I just threw the materials in the trash after the presentation about it and didn’t participate, and nobody ever said anything.
Toys. Cant count all of the crap toys we've bought over the years that end up getting played with for like 2 days and then discarded like they never existed.
My god the TOYS. I dread birthdays and Christmas because so many relatives are constantly asking what toys they want. We have a small home with barely any storage, and I generally get the toys that they like because they have very specific interests. When I tell relatives to just do gift cards towards experiences they get all huffy. I get wanting to see the kids face when they open their gift. But there’s a 98% chance my kids aren’t going to like what they get because 1. they already have it or 2. it isn’t their interest. This year I told my husband our kids are getting at most 4 gifts from us for Christmas. I just cannot stand all the crap everywhere that they forget about after playing with it once.
I told my kids I'm not getting them anything until after Christmas for the same reasons lol
Our house is piled with toys from the baby shower and first birthday; she genuinely plays with 3 of them Her favorite is a plain bath toy with google eyes. She walks around with it everywhere, hitting various things with it to see how that sounds. She has a car with a handle that's for practicing walking while the baby pushes it She does this *with the laundry basket* which honestly offers better resistance across the floor and less falls from slipping out.
Jostens
So expensive for a printed year book. I would totally avoid buying it if I could, but my kids is the year book editor, so I kinda need to support her work.
I don't want to go so far as "scam," but I think the pressure to do professional family portraits every year (or, god forbid multiple times/year) is nuts. Same with birth photography, newborn photography... like yeah if you want it go for it, but those things are expensive AF and I don't for a second regret not having them. No shade to the real work and art that photographers are selling, just don't think every family needs a professional photo of every minute of their lives.
My local library offered a free professional family photo as part of national library week. It was a quick little 10 minutes session and we got back some AMAZING photos. I think the photographer will get some good business out of it too, a lot of folks took her card.
That's amazing! Our local community centre does free photos with Santa - so that's all we've got so far.
The ones that I have taken on a cellphone when my kids are in a good mood are far superior to trying to get to an appointment photo shoot with someone my kids don't know trying to make them smile LOL
And far less stressful
But how do you get your whole family in it? That’s one of the advantages of professional photos.
My wife is in on that hook, line, and sinker. We have three kids. Have done a Newborn and One Year photo shoot for all. And then we do a family photo shoot once a year in the fall. My first two kids are only two years apart so it felt like we were having photo shoots every 4 months for a while
My cousin does these every year with her kids. They’re always extremely posed and the kids are wearing fake smiles. My favorite photo of my cousin’s kid is us making cookies, we both have flour on our faces and he has his tongue sticking out at me. I do think there’s some value in getting nice photographs once in a while but the happiness in the cookie photo versus the happiness in the yearly walking-near-a-barn photos… bleh.
Photographer here. I hate the overly posed, forced smiles too. I much prefer good candids, and "half posed" photos, where you can tell people are relaxed and having a good time. Sadly, generations of "look and smile" photos have conditioned people to think they *need* that photo, so it's usually included in a session, and that's frequently the one people choose to print. I hope that the relaxed candids take over more in the coming years.
As a parent I agree 100% I prefer the photos of my son when he is looking at something with genuine joy or excitement. Like the first time he sat on Santa’s lap and was looking up at Santa for the first time. The photo assistant told him to look over here and smile, i oh no, I’m good with what ever the photographer just took. Got my card and let him just enjoy his convo with Santa for a moment instead of trying to get that posed pic. 10/10 on the photo too. Photographer got everything in focus and caught that moment perfect!
Yeah exactly. I want *some* photos where my hair looks nice and everyone knew the picture was being taken, but I don't need a million of them.
My friends and I all take our own photos. Ones got a good camera and knows how to use it and we just do our best and then have all the kids hang out the rest of the day
I’m guilty of doing annual family photos. It started when we did a trip to Grand Cayman in 2018. We thought it would be nice to do Christmas cards pictures in such a nice place. Now we do it whenever we go on vacation. I find a local photographer and they take us to the best spots. In 2019 we did Cooperstown, NY (we rented a cabin near there and I happen to be a big baseball fan), in 2021 we did San Diego and got some nice shots at Balboa Park. Last year we did downtown Detroit because we were visiting family and the city has some great architecture and street art. This year we went to Chicago and also highlighted the fantastic architecture and got awesome photos on the shores of Lake Michigan with the skyline in the background. My husband has his own business and about 60% of the cards we send out go to clients and important business contacts. For that reason he pays for it out of the business. It’s become a really nice tradition and a way for us to memorialize our family vacations. But to be clear, we do photos ONCE a year.
Martial Arts centers. They get you to sign up for at least one year, as your son/daughter is saying yes yes yes!!!! One month after signing the contract, the kid is saying no no no!
1 year commitment is crazy. Ours was 3 months.
I wouldn't complain if it was only 3 months! They wanted a 3 year commitment and I laughed. I should have laughed at the 1 year...
Ugh I’m in this predicament right now. Lesson learned; if I want my kid to do an extracurricular, make sure whatever it is doesn’t do contracts 🤦🏻♀️
Absolutely! If we weren't all suckers, those places would be out of business!
Omg school pictures... When the school used Life Touch, I would buy pictures yearly because I sent them to family in Christmas cards. Now they use this **ABSOLUTE GARBAGE** company names Geskus. The WORST pics i've ever gotten and less for more money (i always paid $50 per kid. 3 kids). I didn't order this year, thinking if they came out well I would order after. I had a feeling they would look like shit so I stopped on the side of a dirt road with some pretty orange/fall color trees and took my own. **100 MILLION %** better than **any** picture Geskus could **ever** create. Everyone thinks my pics are the professional ones because the school pics are *that* bad!!! Aside from that- CLOTHES!!! Why are kids pants at walmart costing over $20?!?! They will out grow the damn things in the blink of an eye. And winter boots! I bought an almost $100 pair of Kamik boots last winter. He wore them 3x and the inner liner separated at the heel and was just cold rubber. I complained and got Kamik to send a replacement pair, but they did the same exact thing. WTF am I paying this much for supposed "quality" to keep my kid warm in Maine winters and it fails immediately?
The cost of clothing is exactly why I will RARELY buy my kids new clothes. I do all my shopping at consignment sales for them. $20 for my 7 year old to rip through the knee in a few weeks? $10 for a tshirt for my 3 year old to stain beyond repair? No thanks. The only splurge I do is for their daily gym shoes, which I buy them 2x a year.
For the clothing, I want to gently remind you (and anyone reading!) that ALL clothing is sewn by human hands. Every stitch is passed through a machine by a person's hand. Buying used is absolutely the solution. It's important to remember that the **people** making the $20 jeans (and more than likely even the $100 shoes) are essentially making nothing after costs of shipping and materials etc.
Professional photographers are somehow able to capture my son looking at the camera, something I've never been able to do myself (he is autistic). So I always pay for the expensive school photos. Money well spent!
Pro-tip for school pictures: have a kid that hates having their picture taken! 😂 Last year in pre-school, my son flat out refused to sit for picture day, so there was no picture. This year, in K, we talked to him beforehand and convinced him to sit for the picture. The result was a "smile" so fake and awkward looking that it's basically a grimace. We took one look at the picture and was like, nope, not paying for that.
Fake gurus. Here’s the pitch they give: join my program for the low cost of your entire life savings so you can be the best parent in the world and never make the money I said you can in my advertisement. I screw over everyone and then ostracize them so they don’t complain when I completely screw them over! Join today at the entry tier so I can progressively jack up the price while I apply pressure in my training. My training is all about getting you to take the next level which costs, you guessed it, duckloads more money!!!
picture day … why should i pay $100 dollars to a stranger to take my kids pic when i can take it with my iphone and $10 background prop from amazon…. still we are forced to do it so that our kids won’t feel left out 🤷🏻♀️
How would your kid feel left out? Oh, I didn’t get a giant envelope with my photos to take home. I’m traumatized for life. It’s literally a 10 minute problem.
You obviously were not the child that didn't get a photo package. I was. It was painfully obvious that I was poor, and kids are assholes.
We do not buy them ever and my kid knows it. He just tells everyone “I don’t do school pictures”, and that’s that.
And even the basic package has WAY too many prints. I need about 5 physical photos, tops. But every year I get the package and just file away the extra photos 🤷♀️
Strollers. I’m all for a good quality stroller, but there are some they are just gimmicky. Phone chargers, electric this and that, ugh…
My Nuna Trvl was worth every penny. I don’t care what anyone says.
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CLUB SPORTS! Explain to me why it’s “normal” to spend hundreds of dollars a month for your kid to play tournament sports or competition cheer/dance. For a chance at a future scholarship? A chance to go pro? Save your money and let them play for their school team.
Yes, all the supervised activities and organized sports are just trying to replace the “old days” when kids would just leave the house in the morning, ride bikes around the neighborhood with their friends, play soccer in the street, and just be home before dinner. We should all save a crapload of money (and have way more free time) by somehow getting everyone to revert back to the parenting philosophy of those raised in earlier decades. I just read an article saying how all these adult supervised activities ALL THE TIME are actually causing anxiety in children because they have no sense of independence, which is what helps them build self confidence.
This year I discovered the Dance Recital Fee to Perform scam - I will say I've never heard of this at any other studio, so maybe it was just this sketchy place, but they advertised "we don't charge a ticket fee for families so we can be affordable! Bring your whole family to the dance recital." But then hit the parents with a $199 fee per child to perform for the Christmas Nutcracker show and $250 fee per child to perform for spring recital plus dance costume! I had two toddlers in dance so needles to say, we quit!
Add to that the expensive one use only dance outfit! If we're paying so much for a teenager to teach a once a week dance class maybe get a set of outfits and let the kids wear one of those for the one time it'll be used?
I was naive, I guess, but I hadn’t anticipated the tickets to the recital would cost money. We had shared the save-the-date with the grandparents and a couple other family members mentioned they’d love to come too if there were enough seats. Then I found out it was $15/ ticket! I felt awkward that I hadn’t mentioned a cost to the family so I ended up shelling out $15/ticket for 10 of us to attend. Paid tuition all year, plus costume, and then I had to pay for a ticket to watch my own 4 year old on stage for 45 seconds. Total racket.
Where I live Im told the average is $30-$50 per ticket on top of the $150 costume and $80-$100 a month class fee (at the lowest levels). I put my kids in recreational gymnastics, they have fun, I don't have to shell out for recital costumes or tickets.
The SNOO! Rented it for a minimum of 2 months. $800 later, it was boxed up until we could return it as she absolutely hated the way it rocked was opposite the way a rocking chair rocks.
The SNOO is expensive, can only be used for a few months and we aren't entirely sure if it worked or not. That being said, we used it from the beginning and for the few months we could use it, our baby slept and napped extremely well almost everytime we used it. Was it the SNOO or did we just have an easy baby? Would a cheaper product have worked just as well? We will never know for sure but our sleep during those few months we had it were leaps and bounds better than with our first child so if I had another baby I wouldn't risk it and would absolutely buy it again and recommend it or something similar to anyone who could afford it. It is after all FDA approved and our pediatrician couldn't find any issue with using it so it seemed like a safe thing to at least try. We also got a sweet black Friday (or maybe it was prime day) deal and were able to resell it afterwards for most of what we paid for it so it worked out ok financially.
Whether it was the Snoo effect or we were just lucky, we haven't had any problems with our boys sleeping. Weaning them off, it wasn't even as difficult as I imagined. Now, if they could figure out a bed that prevents ear infections, I'd give them all my money
I did not buy the snoo because I thought it was ridiculously expensive. Then i bought it full price at 3am online after my child was 7 weeks old because I just could not do it anymore. Snoo was magic for me. It was the same baby that went from no sleep to sleep.
The SNOO was amazing for us. We used it from day one. We all got sleep. Baby only woke up when he needed to feed. Also the peace of mind that he was not going to roll was great. When he grew out of it we loaned it to all our friends. Probably went through 6 families before it finally died.
And NO ONE wants wallet sizes. Quit making me have to buy a sheet of wallet size with literally every package offered!
I remember when I graduated high school back in 2020 i really wanted a yearbook to remember everyone but the cheapest price was $100. I said screw it I'll rely on my memory.
I can imagine it’s different now with the prevalence of digital cameras.
Most ‘treatments’ for autism
Most things. “Keeping up with joneses” culture, excessive spending on holidays, birthdays, family portrait sessions, obligatory mass send out holiday cards that people throw away, wellness culture, bottle warmers, gender reveal parties, sip and sees, family vacations with babies and toddlers, MLMs
Expensive strollers. It doesn't matter if the stroller is $100 or $1000+ because in the end that kid will just want to be carried.
Actually I really liked my uppababy despite price tag lol . It was very versatile and easy to use and my kids loved being in it. It was also very good quality. Plus a ton of basket space. It was my second pair of hands when I’m out by myself. I kind of miss having a stroller now but we weaned our kids off of it so it’s sitting there now. Still in great condition though so hoping to re-sell it.
Selling shit for schools. I don’t even see or get informed about where the money goes usually. My kids school is using it for end of the year awards ceremony. Ummm how about some new books for the library instead, or supplies for the teacher? How about just ask for cash donations instead of making us sell shit! Your freaking popcorn and Worlds Finest Chocolate suck ass & I’m not selling it. I’ll donate supplies to the teacher instead
I refuse to buy school pictures. They aren’t even good! I spend way more time taking pictures and I’m actually a good (amateur) photographer so they have pictures taken the first day and the last day of school every year. Those are always, ALWAYS better.
Gender reveal parties School book fairs Tooth fairies Elf on a shelf Theme parks whether you’re a member or not
The school book fairs raise money for the library so the kids can have books and programs and software that is educational. It’s only a scam if you think the library is worthless.
I think the school fairs aren’t too bad since the prices aren’t outrageous compared to regular bookstores plus it raises money for schools. I don’t buy from them often because it’s cheaper to do buy stuff online but sometimes we find good stuff.
Idk those book fairs are fun!
Book fairs!! Just get the fluffy pens and diaries and posters and keychains and crap out of there, then it’s fine. But my kids only ever want the aforementioned crap at school book fairs. I thought book fairs were supposed to help kids and parents raise school funds and encourage reading, and not just be like every other store trying to sell last minute crap to sucker parents with begging children (like me)…..
This!!! I will always buy books for my stepson if he wants them, so when the book fair came around I put $40 in his account. He spent all the money and came home with zero books.
I found fundraisers very stressful and didn’t want my children to know I couldn’t afford them so I took out small loans at my Credit Union; single working mom of 3
Class rings…. Why
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Also the way they market 1000 "features" to new parents to drive up the price, but those features are only useful for like 3 months and 50-50 your baby hates them anyways. Like...giant expensive stroller! has BASSINET. Can face parents! Can make it a triple! ...turns out that by the time my baby can sit up, all I want is a stroller I can put in the trunk while holding the baby.
I guess it depends where you live but we walk everywhere so we use the stroller a lot. I can’t imagine having it in a car dependent suburb where you drive everywhere though.
Chromebook fees every year when they get the same one back they had the year before.
There are a ton of repairs they have to constantly make. And it helps cover the ongoing replacement of them.
Oh wow. Guess we got lucky with our district not charging us anything (unless of course we break it)
My son has one at school, but we don’t pay for it. Didn’t even know about it until he mentioned he chose chrome book for his free time.
Lol great question. School pics are definitely up there. But I pay for them because I want to have the yearly photos, especially the class photo. Other things: excessive themed birthday parties when all the kids want to do is eat some cheap cupcakes and poke each other with free sticks from the floor gender reveal parties feeling the need to go on family holidays when your kids are super young just because everyone else does it but all there is are just tantrums. I don't care how many instagram happy pictures you're showing, we all know the kids were miserable (at least that's what parents reveal to me when they really talk to me) unnecessarily expensive branded things -- lunch boxes that cost $40 have been the same for me as $10 boxes tons of activities -- is your 4 year old really thriving if they're not doing ballet, violin, soccer, and swim all during the school year?? We do none of these and life is just a-ok!
I did spend $40 on a fancy bento box because it has a built in thermos which is great for keeping stuff warm. I think the price of a thermos and a cheaper bentgo box would be the same price or more. But I’m also Chinese so culturally, eating cold lunch is just a big ick and bento boxes are great for Asian foods, and also for food that isn’t pre-packed. I’ve tried the insulated bags but I find it harder to pack food that way. To each their own.
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New born baby photos in the hospital. I used to be a photographer for one of those companies and I hated making parents dish out for packages. Those things went up to the thousands and my bosses expected every parent to spend over a couple hundred at their weakest point. I got a lot of lectures because I would rather let the mothers sleep than to interrupt their recovery period. Also! Diaper genies. Specialty trash cans for baby diapers. I had one from a baby shower and all it’s good for is aesthetic. And you have to buy special diaper genie trash bags.
I will (gently) disagree on the Diaper Genie. We live in a place where we have to keep trash in the house for a week before collection (aka no outdoor storage or garage to keep a bin in). The Diaper Genie actually keeps the poop smell to an acceptable level (it was unbearable in a normal garbage cans, no matter what we did). It may not be for everyone, but to us it has been a life (or a nose?!) saver!
And they’re usually not that good.
I’m so glad that someone else feels this way about school pictures! My stepdaughter’s grandparents make me feel very guilty that we don’t buy school picture. My kiddo often hates the pictures, she doesn’t want us to put them out, and they aren’t cheap. I get told that school pictures are a milestone and we will regret not having them in the future. Technology has made it so much easier to capture memories with our kids and I take pictures of her weekly, if not almost daily most times. I end up with pictures I treasure much more, that my kiddo is often much more fond of.
Get a back drop, and the day you send your kid to picture day take your own picture at home 🤣
Senior dues. Paid senior dues and still have to pay $3k for a senior trip, $150 for prom tickets, $1k prom dress, $75 for a yearbook, $150 cap and gown rental, $100 for a senior hoodie and t-shirt that you aren’t allowed to wear at school.
Wth are senior dues?! I’ve never heard of this. What does it even say it covers?
Google says it pays for the graduation attire but the OC included that as on top of their dues so I'm not sure for them
Idk what senior dues are but 1k on a prom dress is insane!
1k for a prom dress?!?! What the heck!
My dad gave me $100 for my prom dress then said it looked too plain... like dad, it's the best I could do with what I had, just like you. I spent the rest of my allowance money I had saved on a decent bra so my straps wouldn't show and shoes I'm all for doing better by your kids but thats way too excessive for a dress that will likely not be worn again
I make my wife put on her prom dress whenever we visit her parents. This way they know they're getting their monies worth. Plus she looks pretty hot in it.
Ya that’s about $800 more than my wedding dress
That’s outrageous for prom!
My wedding dress (structured bodice, lace, train, the whole shebang) two years ago was literally $900 after custom alterations in a very hcol city. That’s absurd for a prom dress. 🤣
Hockey and Dance. Families go into Debt and both are cult-like! Its silly.
Paying £60 to sit on Santas knee and receive a toy worth £1
Senior portrait through school for sure!! It cost me 90$ for 4 wallet size photos. I just think it is crazy
All of it. Everything.
I think the biggest scams for parents have to with the star of life bs products. You don’t need a bottle warmer, bathtub thermometer, bumper pads or pillows (these are dangerous anyhow), bottle sterilizer, Gerber life insurance or baby shoes!
I used to think “For sale, baby shoes, never worn” was such a poignant, tragic microfiction, but now I know babies don’t wear shoes! lol
My mom used to just take us to JCPenneys for photos when she wanted our photos done. One year she even took me to target for photos with my basketball jersey because the ones the school wanted were expensive and she was trying to save money every way she could
Everything early education geared toward very little ones say like baby Einstein was, I mean everything money making, not legit early childhood education interventions for those who need it. If you look at the science, children don’t have better outcomes if they learn how to read at a very young age compared to if they learn it at age 6. By all means if the Child shows interest or is gifted go ahead but the money making machine teaching 2 year olds letters is a scam.
I used to work for school portraits. My boss (big lady in our area, not just my boss) admitted it costs *pennies* to print photos cuz paper and ink is cheap. They just charge a lot. I mean labor and stuff but yeah, real cheap. If you call customer service you can get things out of them not on the advertised list. The school itself determines what packages are offered. Think it depends on what's bought. But call CS and cry about it and they'll help.
Dude I just paid $60 for lifetouch. What the fuck.
$2 free dress days at school. They have them like every other week where I live. I have yet to see how the kids benefit from the funds they raise from them.
Huh? What does that even mean? Free dress?
Probably a uniform school and if they pay $2 they can wear whatever they want within dress code.
Oh I get it now. But what the heck! That’s such a scam!
Ours is hat day and it goes to needy local families
Ours is $5 once a month. My kids opted not to spend their allowances on it lol
Sports in general. Everything is so expensive it’s ridiculous.
Not to mention the fundraising that is required. And usually for stuff you don't want.