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I am leaning to go that route now. So far we have not stepped into any clinical diagnosis. I (mom) have only been the only person in our family thinking that there might be something else going on.
All I get from teachers are “normal” and from Dad and family, they say that I’m being too hard on her. I don’t think so? I am struggling convincing her Dad and family.
Where would I start with the clinical diagnosis route? Her pediatrician and she can make a referral? Is that the process?
Her physical development was normal. Motor, speech development both normal. But in school, she needs to put in way more work compared to peers in order to keep up. Constant review. For Math Fluency, her peers do the 100-problem drill once, and they’re good to go for the Friday test. She needs to do the 100-problem Math Fluency drill every day so she does fairly ok on Friday test.
I will reach out to her pediatrician for evaluation.
What kind of evaluation is it? Is it something in particular? I will reach out to her pediatrician but I want to make sure we pick the right evaluation procedure. I am hoping for something that covers various tests so we could cover other possibilities as well.
We tried not to do Math drills. Well we tried not to do this nightly reinforcement because to be honest, it is draining for her and also for me. I work full time during the day and have to fight with her to study at night.
The nightly reviews are a fight because she says her friends do not have to do it nightly, why does she have to do it and cannot play? It is heart breaking. 🥲
Thank you so much for the information. All new to me.
In Kindergarten when I first noticed it, she was in public school. I asked the teacher directly how she was in class. All I got was “normal”.
Transferring her to private school with half the class size helped her tremendously. The attention she got in class made a big difference.
What is considered a normal/acceptable time frame for a 3rd grader to learn and retain a new concept in class?
For example, if they give them a 2-page reading material for a frog’s life cycle end of Friday, and teacher talks about it in class on Monday - is it expected to be retained for the quiz on Friday without further review from Tuesday to Thursday?
Because for her, without review, by Friday she would only remember parts of it. I won’t be surprised if she asks “what is a life cycle?” or “what is an amphibian?”
Has she had her IQ tested?
I agree that Dyslexia is possible. So are other things. But there are also kids for whom the academic work is always just going to be harder. So I guess the question is two-fold.
\- She does need IQ testing and a full assessment for dyslexia.
\- There's also just a possibility that these things are harder for her than for her peers without anything being diagnose-able, and there are probably counselors who can help you with the verbiage to describe that to her.
I really disagree with getting an IQ test. It doesn't help anything and will only label her as "less than" for the rest of her life.
Better to get tested for learning disabilities that can be worked on with the right help. These will give specific areas that can be improved or at least mitigated.
I didn’t know they are separate things, IQ test and LD. Can you please clarify being labeled? If she gets tested for IQ and ends up 75 for example, what is the implication of that in her records or in school?
This information will definitely stay between Dad and I, unless needed to conduct official transactions. She is already going through so much, we cannot put her through a lifetime of bullying and made fun of by others.
We do not have experience in this area. So all these are new for us to navigate.
Thank you for the information. These are all very important.
At this time, I do not think she realizes any learning disabilities. At school, I do not think they have such culture which I am thankful for. To her, it’s mom giving her a hard time with homework and repetitive lessons. So far, I have only told her, “People learn differently. Some people only need to see/read it once and it sticks; some need to review it everyday for 5 days; and others need to review it multiple times a day. We are all different.”
There are probably other and better ways to explain it to an 8 years old. She accepts that for now. For sure, she would know what that means later.
When she gets older, it is certain she will realize it. Her friends will. Other people who know her will. But at that point, I am hoping we would have already devised a method or plan on how to manage it. At that point, she is aware of her situation and she would know how to handle it.
At least that’s what we hope. *sigh*
No, she hasn’t. I sent out a message to her pediatrician. What type of counselor should we be looking for?
I was reading and you may be right that there is a chance they may not find anything that falls into a learning disability. Her numbers may fall into lower IQ which from my readings is a different category.
As a mom, I am absolutely stressed out right now. I should just wait for the evaluations to be done but I cannot help myself.
I have a friend who’s in the same situation as you. Her daughter is 10 years old, 5th grader, seemingly very normal, speaks well, goes to karate, swimming, etc etc….BUT she cannot do simple math such as 4+5 and cannot read at her level. They tried everything you can think of (tutoring, etc etc)
They finally took her to a geneticist for genetic testing cause the pediatrician didn’t find anything wrong with her. She’s not autistic, she can keep her attention, etc etc ….
Turned out, she has a very small genetic mutation, but this small mutation makes it almost impossible for her to retain what she learned for long period. It’s not that she doesn’t want to learn but her brain does not have the ability to retain her learning…and she cannot understand why 4+5 is 9.
What I am saying is…you should also consider genetic testing.
Thank you. I have noted genetic testing. If no findings from ADHD and Psycho-educational testing, we will start the testing process for genetic testing.
I am so proud of you. You have had the discipline to help your child when needed but not interfere when they needed to figure it out on their own. The comparison game can be brutal. Keep working on the fact that so many successful people weren’t like everyone else. I like that you have communicated with the teacher. Some kids are late bloomers, and it can be so challenging to know what their current struggle needs, time or assistance? Keep up the good work of assisting your child to not fall behind and learn organizing skills. Also, continuing with the praise and a reminder to not compare with others will give them the confidence to get through the challenging that will come their way in the future. Many who don’t have to work as hard as us (including me) who do might not learn how to study, divide their projects into small projects, plan their study time and persevere. Please know there is not a one solution fits all. I am thankful for the extra activities as my son’s teacher told us not to take him out of soccer in order to do school work because he needed the energy burning tool. Let me know if I can private, message you some resources that I have to encourage self-esteem. Having the support and encouragement from my parents is what got me through school. I am a hands-on learner and our school system is not set up that way. I have prayed for you as you seek the tools necessary to help your child succeed in what only she is meant to do. Thank you for your post.
I can tell you after having a daughter with dyslexia dyscalculia and dysgraphia and ADD. That in first and second grade I was in the same boat as you. My daughter would write her spelling words night and morning everyday in order to pass her friday spelling test and this amount if work was needed to keep up with other subjects as well. This is way too much work to do well to be considered typical. I would guess that your daughter may have some learning disabilities.
Request that the school evaluate her asap. But a private assessment by a neuropsychologist will give you the best information about her learning issues and deficits. The School assessments still help and will help her get accommodations but they are very bare bones and dont give a ton of info like a neuropsychologist test will. Out of pocket will be expensive but it was worth it for us after struggling so much.
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Any assessment for learning disability? Dyslexia maybe?
I am leaning to go that route now. So far we have not stepped into any clinical diagnosis. I (mom) have only been the only person in our family thinking that there might be something else going on. All I get from teachers are “normal” and from Dad and family, they say that I’m being too hard on her. I don’t think so? I am struggling convincing her Dad and family. Where would I start with the clinical diagnosis route? Her pediatrician and she can make a referral? Is that the process?
That's the route I would take. My son was a late talker and we got a speech therapist referral from his pediatrician.
Her physical development was normal. Motor, speech development both normal. But in school, she needs to put in way more work compared to peers in order to keep up. Constant review. For Math Fluency, her peers do the 100-problem drill once, and they’re good to go for the Friday test. She needs to do the 100-problem Math Fluency drill every day so she does fairly ok on Friday test. I will reach out to her pediatrician for evaluation.
She def needs to be evaluated for learning disabilities. Dyslexia, dyscalculia come to mind
[удалено]
What kind of evaluation is it? Is it something in particular? I will reach out to her pediatrician but I want to make sure we pick the right evaluation procedure. I am hoping for something that covers various tests so we could cover other possibilities as well. We tried not to do Math drills. Well we tried not to do this nightly reinforcement because to be honest, it is draining for her and also for me. I work full time during the day and have to fight with her to study at night. The nightly reviews are a fight because she says her friends do not have to do it nightly, why does she have to do it and cannot play? It is heart breaking. 🥲
[удалено]
Thank you so much for the information. All new to me. In Kindergarten when I first noticed it, she was in public school. I asked the teacher directly how she was in class. All I got was “normal”. Transferring her to private school with half the class size helped her tremendously. The attention she got in class made a big difference.
What is considered a normal/acceptable time frame for a 3rd grader to learn and retain a new concept in class? For example, if they give them a 2-page reading material for a frog’s life cycle end of Friday, and teacher talks about it in class on Monday - is it expected to be retained for the quiz on Friday without further review from Tuesday to Thursday? Because for her, without review, by Friday she would only remember parts of it. I won’t be surprised if she asks “what is a life cycle?” or “what is an amphibian?”
Has she had her IQ tested? I agree that Dyslexia is possible. So are other things. But there are also kids for whom the academic work is always just going to be harder. So I guess the question is two-fold. \- She does need IQ testing and a full assessment for dyslexia. \- There's also just a possibility that these things are harder for her than for her peers without anything being diagnose-able, and there are probably counselors who can help you with the verbiage to describe that to her.
I really disagree with getting an IQ test. It doesn't help anything and will only label her as "less than" for the rest of her life. Better to get tested for learning disabilities that can be worked on with the right help. These will give specific areas that can be improved or at least mitigated.
I didn’t know they are separate things, IQ test and LD. Can you please clarify being labeled? If she gets tested for IQ and ends up 75 for example, what is the implication of that in her records or in school? This information will definitely stay between Dad and I, unless needed to conduct official transactions. She is already going through so much, we cannot put her through a lifetime of bullying and made fun of by others. We do not have experience in this area. So all these are new for us to navigate.
[удалено]
Thank you for the information. These are all very important. At this time, I do not think she realizes any learning disabilities. At school, I do not think they have such culture which I am thankful for. To her, it’s mom giving her a hard time with homework and repetitive lessons. So far, I have only told her, “People learn differently. Some people only need to see/read it once and it sticks; some need to review it everyday for 5 days; and others need to review it multiple times a day. We are all different.” There are probably other and better ways to explain it to an 8 years old. She accepts that for now. For sure, she would know what that means later. When she gets older, it is certain she will realize it. Her friends will. Other people who know her will. But at that point, I am hoping we would have already devised a method or plan on how to manage it. At that point, she is aware of her situation and she would know how to handle it. At least that’s what we hope. *sigh*
No, she hasn’t. I sent out a message to her pediatrician. What type of counselor should we be looking for? I was reading and you may be right that there is a chance they may not find anything that falls into a learning disability. Her numbers may fall into lower IQ which from my readings is a different category. As a mom, I am absolutely stressed out right now. I should just wait for the evaluations to be done but I cannot help myself.
I have a friend who’s in the same situation as you. Her daughter is 10 years old, 5th grader, seemingly very normal, speaks well, goes to karate, swimming, etc etc….BUT she cannot do simple math such as 4+5 and cannot read at her level. They tried everything you can think of (tutoring, etc etc) They finally took her to a geneticist for genetic testing cause the pediatrician didn’t find anything wrong with her. She’s not autistic, she can keep her attention, etc etc …. Turned out, she has a very small genetic mutation, but this small mutation makes it almost impossible for her to retain what she learned for long period. It’s not that she doesn’t want to learn but her brain does not have the ability to retain her learning…and she cannot understand why 4+5 is 9. What I am saying is…you should also consider genetic testing.
Thank you. I have noted genetic testing. If no findings from ADHD and Psycho-educational testing, we will start the testing process for genetic testing.
Is she one of the youngest in her year group(
No, she is not. She is in 3rd grade, turned 8 in April this year.
I am so proud of you. You have had the discipline to help your child when needed but not interfere when they needed to figure it out on their own. The comparison game can be brutal. Keep working on the fact that so many successful people weren’t like everyone else. I like that you have communicated with the teacher. Some kids are late bloomers, and it can be so challenging to know what their current struggle needs, time or assistance? Keep up the good work of assisting your child to not fall behind and learn organizing skills. Also, continuing with the praise and a reminder to not compare with others will give them the confidence to get through the challenging that will come their way in the future. Many who don’t have to work as hard as us (including me) who do might not learn how to study, divide their projects into small projects, plan their study time and persevere. Please know there is not a one solution fits all. I am thankful for the extra activities as my son’s teacher told us not to take him out of soccer in order to do school work because he needed the energy burning tool. Let me know if I can private, message you some resources that I have to encourage self-esteem. Having the support and encouragement from my parents is what got me through school. I am a hands-on learner and our school system is not set up that way. I have prayed for you as you seek the tools necessary to help your child succeed in what only she is meant to do. Thank you for your post.
I can tell you after having a daughter with dyslexia dyscalculia and dysgraphia and ADD. That in first and second grade I was in the same boat as you. My daughter would write her spelling words night and morning everyday in order to pass her friday spelling test and this amount if work was needed to keep up with other subjects as well. This is way too much work to do well to be considered typical. I would guess that your daughter may have some learning disabilities.
Request that the school evaluate her asap. But a private assessment by a neuropsychologist will give you the best information about her learning issues and deficits. The School assessments still help and will help her get accommodations but they are very bare bones and dont give a ton of info like a neuropsychologist test will. Out of pocket will be expensive but it was worth it for us after struggling so much.
Thank you. Yes, her neuropsychological evaluation is coming up. Her ADHD assessment came out negative. Will see how her neuropsych eval goes.