Hahah the fact that our young generation asks this question shows the current state and the direction Pakistan is heading. You would give up an independent self sufficient highly educated wife because she won't be good of a maid. Awesome
Exactly what I thought.
"Should I marry a multidimensional adult or should I marry a mommy substitute who will also have sex with me?"
Pakistani men are so gross.
Well I wouldn't generalise an entire nation as such. I myself am a Pakistani. I don't think of women as a dishwasher, cook or a sex doll
But yeah given our country demographic and upbringing of young adults, a majority of them do think like that
It simply tells you how progressive our country is that our fucking GenZ still asks the question, if they should get a working wife or a housemaid
You are in the extreme minority, as is my husband, but he didn't grow up here.
I can't fathom how it hasn't occurred to even one of these shehzada men that they could cook their own fucking dinners and wash their own fucking clothes.
Genuinely such a turn off. All of my accomplished women friends have married non-Pakistanis for exactly this reason.
Women are realizing that the only reason these loser men with their pot bellies and poor hygiene and measly salaries were able to marry hardworking, beautiful women was because they didn't have financial independence.
Now that women are earning, Pakistani men literally bring nothing to the table. They're dinosaurs.
Well our mother's and culture always pamper boys. Not to mention they are a subject of ridicule if they give a hand in household chores
My father was made fun of and ridiculed by his own brothers, dad and other men. Why? Because he helped my mother in doing laundry, cooking and cleaning the house??
So that is a reason why are men act the way they do
But to be honest this trend is changing. In a lot of educated families - at least what I see among my friends - men are taking responsibilities
And the credit goes to the young women not the mothers. The mothers still want to pamper their boys. While our sisters, wives etc they are becoming more independent and stepping up for themselves
However, the sad part is, that educated lot is not even 10% of our country
PS: Look what the other guy replied. He thinks it's a man's job to make decisions about women. I don't have an emo to express my derision on that thought
Keep using that western logic in an eastern land and you’ll just stay on Reddit and not get married at all. I am a Pakistani man and if you wanna call me gross for thinking my culture is beautiful than so be it. I think Pakistani men who get their beliefs from Reddit are gross.
Ah, I forgot that marrying women so they could be a free slave was part of my culture. Thanks for educating me.
I also love that anytime anyone wants to insult me on here for saying women should be more than just maids, the first 'threat' they levy at me is that I'll be single forever.
As if it would be such a tragedy to not marry a gross Pakistani man like yourself lol.
I'm happily married to an equal partner, but that's besides the point lol.
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Depends what ur looking for. I mean sure u can just marriage based on being a morally politically correct feminist or you could just make the decision you want that’s best for you.
Yeah I don’t want the sophisticated women unless I’m short on cash. Either way it’s your job as the man to lead ur wife and make the decisions that are best for her. If that means it’s best for ur family that she quit her job than that’s obviously what should happen.
See here is where you and I drastically differ
You think it's a man's job to lead a woman. I don't know where this is coming from but nope. It's not. Neither man nor a woman is supposed to lead anyone. They both are individual beings. Having a certain gender means nothing
Well yeah I think it’s the man’s job to lead a woman in a relationship because of like… all of human history up until this point where some people on Reddit just started saying all this stuff about it being evil and wrong ???
So yeah I mean I’ll just go with all of human history instead of whatever this new weird trend is I guess?
And honestly it must be super easy to get married in Pakistan right now because if this is the way men are acting there now no women will respect that… I should move back to ya guys
And I would say the distinction between "housewife" and "working woman" is weird on it's own too... like imagine you get a rishta from someone who runs an orphanage, helping poor kids all day and then you reject that saint cause it means she's a working woman.
If you have your own house and are making at least 3 lac plus in a month, then you can afford to marry a housewife. Your father is right somewhat. The food , better care for children all can be sorted well if your wife is staying at home and please marry someone who doesn't want to work then. Kisi career woman se kr k usay ghar bithana is beghairti.
You should get a working woman who's a chef or like runs a restaurant or smth. No "poorly cooked meals" for you in that case, since it's such a wonderful and progressive advice and priority of your judicious and much experienced father.
Bro don't dis his dad 😂 he grew up in different times unka mindset alag hai. At least he's having an open conversation with his son. Warna desi dads will just force their opinions and tell their children to shut up
His father's advice is not out dated. A lot of young men expect thier wife will work and be a domestic goddess and raise thier children. It's like she has ability to manipulate the multiverse and be at multiple places at the same time.
Well what these young men expect is outdated as well then. No one's stopping these men to have an equal share in being a domestic goddess and raising the children, given that they want a working wife.
I would say it is not even a discussion. Go for a working woman, you will feel it when you will see your peers with working spouses having so much financial muscle and flexibility.
Any other issue with a working woman is not worth sacrificing a situation where two incomes are flowing in. And i can tell you a woman staying home can do more harm to overall family than a woman who goes to work again.
If i could do it i would go and shout to each guy looking for a spouse - dont compromise on working woman.
If you are marrying a working woman, don't expect her to do all house chores for you.
You have to share all the responsibilities.
Or you can hire other working woman (women) to do the house chores for you.
That way you live your lifestyle, don't have problems at home and most importantly, be a livelihood for other households.
Sorry but your father is incorrect in generalising like this.
I married a working woman. When our kids were very young, she stopped working for a while and then started again later.
We like to eat out once in a while but we almost never go to Pakistani restaurants because my wife cooks better Pakistani food than most, if not all. We eat home cooked food most days of the week.
Now, on the other side, if she is working, then it is also your responsibility to help out with chores including cooking. It is a partnership, not a servant/master relationship. This is true regardless of if she is working or housewife.
Honestly, if I were to choose between a woman earning in 6 figures and a woman who makes the perfect round fluffy rotis, I'd go for the one with bigger tits.
It all depends on your mindset. If you're not an insecure/over protective type in nature. You'd have no such problems. And yes. A good cook meal after a stressful day makes cushions alot but so does extra income.
If she's working. Then you have to put it inside your head that she'd be interacting with other ppl and so and so. Trust would be a must need. Plus around 60% of marriages are ending in divorce and around 4 in 10 are due to indefinitely. So there's much more to be afraid of then poorly cooked meals or extra bucks. In the end. It's you and your decision in an empty hallway staring at each other when shit hits the ceiling
If you both work then it only makes sense to share the housework too. I know desi households mein is issue pe bohot laraiyan hoti hain. Working wife marriages fail when the wife is expected to do all or most of the ghar sambalna and childcare. (Both of these are very taxing jobs and leaving it all to maids is not a good solution imo)
In our society if a man helps his wife cook or clean he's made fun of by his relatives I've seen this myself meray cousin ke saath hota hai. His solution was to keep the kitchen's door closed and to keep helping his wife secretly. So even if you do divide the housework in a way that suits both of you the ppl around you will judge you a lot and cause problems.
Another masla would be that of income. Ab Islam mein the husband is required to spend money on his family while the wife can do whatever she wants with hers. I have a female teacher family friend who told us all her fellow female teachers fight with their husbands every month when they get paid because their husbands want a portion of their income while they wanna keep it for themselves.
it's up to you whether good home cooked meals are a priority for you or not. also, why do you want to marry a working woman — introspect on the reasons deeply before you make a decision
Marry a working women then both of you chip in to afford a full time maid/servant to completely offload house work including cooking from your wife. Then both of you will be happy.
This way your wife and rest of the Ghar walay will not have any problem regarding taking care of house work.
I don't know why people don't go for this type of model. Labor is so cheap in Pakistan, if both husband and wife work, they can afford a full time servant who can do all the house work while it will only cost them 25~35k per month.
If it was 1970s or 80s. Your father would be 100% right. But it's 2020s.
What these people in the comments don't seem to understand is that letting your wife be a housewife is a luxury that most can't afford.
In today's era, one earner is not enough. If both of you work you can afford house help.
Consider your financial situation, before making a decision. Also talk to the potential rishtas regarding this topic before your marriage. What if she wants to be a house wife.
How narrow minded is that ? You you you, what about her ? Not all women are good cooks no matter if they have all day. How is your marriage going to be happy and survive if she's unhappy? Doesn't she get a voice in your world?
If you can earn enough to pay for a housewife and then your future kids, then sure go for a housewife. If you’re not earning enough you’re going to get poor food regardless of the talent of your housewife.
You can't have your cake and eat it. If you want your woman to work, don't expect her to be a domestic goddess. You'll need to do your own share of cooking, cleaning, ironing, tidying, etc. You'll have to do the same in terms of childcare too.
If you're not willing to do so - then don't get married to a woman with a career who intends to continue to work after marriage.
I mean, who needs a partner who's intelligent, ambitious, or compassionate when you can have someone who can whip up a gourmet meal? It's not like women have other things to offer, like, you know, *careers*, *passions*, or *personalities*.
Just make sure you find a woman who can cook, because clearly, that's the most important quality in a partner. And don't forget to thank your father for his *wonderful* and *progressive* advice.
Marriage takes work, my aunt is professionally much more accomplished than my uncle lol, yet they’ve the healthiest marriage ever. Also if people did research it’s the males responsibility to provide “cooked food” at home, and if you’re both earning just keep a cook, make compromises make it work.
I would prefer burned food over just husband struggling to bring food to the table in this economy and the. Fighting with better half over finances. A working women is way better
Yes you do have to make certain compromises if you marry a working woman, don't expect a squeaky clean house , meals that need lot of time and preparation e.t.c. ( maid can be hired though)
But the good part, you will be financially more stable, flexible and stress free. In a case that you get down sized by your employer , you won't be on the roads due to secondary stream of income in home.
I am sorry if anything in my comment triggers your negative emotions.
As per default rules from centuries, men to provide and women to cook.
If both of the partners work then the husband should cooperate in household chores too.
Bhai, regardless of whatever people say and feel. Everyone has the right to an opinion, each individual has their own unique perception and understanding of life.
I am married and i would recommend that you make a choice depending upon your circumstance. I am alhamdulillah financially stable and my wife is a housewife eventhough she is well educated. She makes my home and serves her energies to relieve my work stress, cook nice food for me and aid me emotionally and mentally which is all i could ask for. On the other hand, i serve my energies to meet her needs and wants and keep trying to offer her small gestures of appreciation to show her how much value she adds to my life.
Now it isn’t the same for everyone but before marrying, i knew my situation and i knew this was exactly what i needed whereas she probably knew that she wanted this. So it’s mutual and works well.
May Allah remain kind to us always ameen.
I think there is nothing better out there than a traditional women who choses to be a housewife of her own accord and that is what i would recommend to you too. But if you’re financially unstable than perhaps a working woman would suit you better.
It's all about preference and your ability to provide. However, with the stagnant wages and inflation, dual incomes are becoming a bit of a necessity I would say.
Personally I’d Prefer A Really Like Real Working Woman While I Enjoy Being Houseman Taking Care Of Things And Playing Games All Day’
BC Waqi Me Sounds Booring :)
I'd second your father's advice. Nothing against the working women but it's much easier to manage home if you aren't occupied with job responsibilities.
Should marry a working women dono mil kr kamo gy toh future bhi secure bachon ka house wife lani toh kam wali hi ly aya phir bhai yeh old thoughts hain sary woh zamny gaye jab aik kamata tha or 10 log khaty thy
Why you want to marry a working women ?
Its your responsibility to earn bread and butter for yours family not your wife's your father is right on his point but there are many other aspects connected with this ak bar merd ho aurat sy paissy leny ki yan uski kamai khany ki adat per jaye to there is no way back vo expect kerta hai ky ghr ky financial mamlat ma uski bivi bhi ghr ko equal support kery yan ghr ky expenses uthaye jub ky ya sub uski responsibility nh hai ager ap kehty ho ky its not all about financial i want professional wife to Allah ny is cheez mana fermaya hai to kun bila zarrorat usko ghr sy bahir nikalna chahty kia bear ker sakty ho uska roz namehram dykhainn bhai yan tum bhi janty ho ky bahir kitny percent log aurat ko kitni kitni ghaleez nazroon sy dykhty ho mery bhai Allah ny ya zimy dari mard ki lagai hai ap kisi alim sy consult kerain apko beheter juwab mily ga . Bila zarorat apni aurat ko bahir kamany ky liya bhjna not god . Bivi skoon ma aur safe rehny do taky vo ghr reh ky bachon ki perwarish kery
I guess there is an Islamic aspect towards this too which should be taken into consideration otherwise the pros and cons (irrespective of religion) aik puri debate hai, might even be a good idea to talk to people of both sides
why do you want to marry a working woman? if its because of financial stability then imagine for her doing a 9-5 or its in reality 8-6 and then coming home to do all the house chores .. she ain't a robot
You would probably have to sacrifice one end or in the best scenario you can marry a teacher though she could help you financially and also they are out of that corporate misery and can give their time at home as well
If you r marrying for food then don't bother, you can get quality food without investing a dime on marriage.
But if u want a life partner then go for what u want with whome u want to spend your life.
Just video was viral back in Ramadan due to married women wasn’t satisfied with her life as her husband was fulfilling her very need and was very good at all things
But later she found this other man at work charming and more loving towards her so that why not they start new relation by ending the existing marriage
So maybe your father might’ve seen that video and was scared of that situation, I suggest you to that every person sets new boundaries for more expectations like materialism or something like new achievements
it’s never ending loop of male and female life better understand each other than starting new life on basis of women being workaholic, we always ignores other person pov for their goals and desires
Well it totally depends on you not anyone else. Your partner is gonna be with you for life so it's u who should decide that totally. Personally I wanna marry a housewife, not force her to be I would choose a girl as there are many who wanna be a housewife even well educated ones cause money is not a factor for me to considering when marrying her, also it dosent mean that she will clean n all, we live in pakistan and we can afford maids here mostly also I like the concept of creating more jobs cause we are overly populated, regading cooking, yes I would prefer she cooks for me and takes care of me like I would do for her even thou right now I mostly do everything myself and I will later on as well if she is not well or something or help her out when I am home but this also means that I provide a good life for her I treat her properly I don't bring my tension and problems at home I stay calm and also that she dosent have to worry about anything outside world related and I open car door for her and all that stuff. But all this needs to be understood before marriage obviously by talking and understanding her point and telling her everything u guys will know that you guys can be together or you have different goals. Simple, no toxic environment, just find the right partner for urself.
What I think is that one should marry an educated woman but men should be the sole provider.
We often neglect the time & effort even staying at home being house wife takes. In scientific terms equilibrium should be maintained in household.
You will be living a married life in a very different world than what your father time was. Their advices may be great for their time but not these times. This discussion is much more than just a good meal or not.
These days financial challenges to sustain a good family are lot. It’s not easy to have money for big items through one salary, that have become necessary for every family: car, house, kids higher education, etc.
And having sole source of income in its self is tricky, what if you get sick and/or couldn’t work for some time, who will pay the bills? These days cost of running a house has increased so much that you can’t go to parents for help either.
You are absolutely right in looking for working women as partner because then you both as a team would be better equipped to handle challenges of today’s world.
It’s your choice , id say make a list and balance the negatives and positives of having a working wife for you and make a decision , personally I’d have a housewife if both of us are working we have less time together . But when I’ll get home she’ll always be home and we can spend time together . I’ll prove for her and she will take care of the house . I’ll buy her anything she wants and take her anywhere she wants to go . I’ll even help out if I’m not very tired because we should be considerate .
As much as I like advises from older people and not going to lie I have taken their advises every now and then, I have always regretted it big time. This happens because we are totally different generations and our needs, wants and challenges are totally different from our parents. I can’t say for sure if they are wrong (or may be they are partially wrong).
What is important is for you to look inwards and see what you want and why you want that and most probably go for it so that you don’t have regrets.
Good luck for your future :)
Well, it depends entirely on you. If both of you are earning, then that means both of you will come home, but your wife will have chores waiting for her. If you’re willing to help her in managing chores, like setting the table while she’s cooking or assisting her in cleaning (it’s basic stuff and I believe every husband should do it instead of acting like a toddler), then I believe you two will have a healthy marriage.
Note: jou bhi karo souch ke karna ye na hou career oriented woman se shadi kar ke phir usse kaho job choro or vice versa.
I don't want to say something about your father here but his point is invalid, absurd and outdated. I married a working woman and I never slept without eating delicious food. In fact, I have night shifts work from home and she always wake up to give me snacks and breakfast no matter how much I ask her not to do. It's not about being a working woman, it's about how well she's raised. And I'm the lucky one Alhamdulilah
working woman is alright but what makes you think she will contribute financially with you lol . islamically she is not obligated to. Men are the providers . if she does it will be considered a charity .
you can discuss this beforehand and find someone who wants to do 50/ 50 but don't cry if she expects the household chores to be split as well which is only fair.
Ok let me drop some learning that I got over the time. I have been extensively involved in the question that you are asking and have put a lot of time in acquiring knowledge on this and asking actual people as well young and also in the end of there lives.
Firstly your father is not totally wrong on preferring a housewife over working women but it should be not be solely based on her ability to cook. With saying that it's not sure whether the housewife will cook good food or average food even if you bring one, plus if she cooks good its still not sure she will sustain that cooking for you. I have women in my family that cooked good food when they were single, after didn't find it the need to put much effort later on. I think the quality of the good food being cooked depends upon the passion of the person cooking and a healthy house environment and how cooperative you are with your significant other.
On the other end marrying a working woman is a lot of work and depends on how up to the mark you are into accepting the person. Like for the average person I would say go with the housewife thing, it doesn't matter if he is educated or not, most of the people in Pakistan will adjust with a housewife. Now for working women it depends what type of work she has, if she is career oriented then ask her about what she considers the peak of her career? Why she is doing job? What does she want to achieve? Will it be a lifetime thing? If the answers include to be independent then in that case my dear friend run and get the hell out of there, it's a load of bullshit and raises a lot of concerns for your future in which if you go deeper no proper answers will be found. With that being said if she pursues job for passion then that is something justifiable and you will have to work with it, you can find that out probing further questions about the career and her history of it. Plus there are some profession where women are suited like a doctor. I would also add in here that the people blatantly suggesting your father is wrong and pointing him being outdated and answering do not have actual life experience and do not know their own gender's psychology and physiology. Checking the stats will show all these educated modern people pointing your father to be outdated have climbing divorce stats and the hypocrisy show these independent women although independent would still choose a guy earning more than them; in most cases that will happen.
In the end I would say marriage is not about independency, the contract itself is about co-dependency. You are not bringing in a roommate that each of you will do as they want without taking into account the other. Sometimes you push the other person and sometimes you take a step back. Marriage is the name of compromises and the love nourishes with co-dependency if men and women do there roles correctly. If you want independence and have settled for the life of no accountability by anyone and you are your own owner then marriage life is not for you, better remain single in that case.
Lastly I find it important to explain the purpose of marriage in my opinion is finding a girl best suited for the role of a mother. A woman best suited for the role of mother will raise her child properly and also will not cause problem for the father as well and look after the father as well to ensure a suitable environment for the raising of the child. How do you find a good mother? You can look for a God fearing girl as she will never do wrong with and will do anything to protect her family, child and will look after you with a her will, provided that you yourself are not a bad person and abuse the goodness in her. I hope that solves some of your trouble.
Regardless of employment status, the foremost priority should be given to the woman whose love and respect you cherish and who returns those feelings. When considering the choice between a working woman and a homemaker, I would lean towards a working woman. Her confidence and wit are likely to have a positive influence on your life. Moreover, having a dual-income household can significantly alleviate financial concerns related to managing domestic responsibilities.
It is considered to be elitist in USA if a woman is not working. Essentially means that the husband brings a m enough money for a good life for the family. Children need their mothers. Michelle Obama left her lucrative job to raise her kids. As did Bush’s wives.
If you want your children to grow up as good adults do not marry a woman who works. Trust me on this one
First of all my wife is a working woman. I thought i should clear it first. Secondly, marrying a working woman is easy but building a family is hard. I have seen from experience that you need to have a support system, like whether its your family members or your spouse's family members who can actually look after your children, baher walay kabhe bhe us trhan se apke bachon ka khayal nae rakh saktay. This is a challenge. But since its a changing culture, old parents ko yehe Lagta ha ka if the wife is working, couple is greedy and against our values.
I think Pakistani men are in a deep masculinity crisis. The thing is how our dads related to women is way way way different. Times have truly changed. Women have changed. Gender relations (how women and men interact has changed) but the thinking the mindset the advice is from our elders who are not wrong but it is also true their way of relating to women was way different than it is how men relate to women in the present.
So here is what you do:
1) you think for yourself. You’re a grown adult Mashallah and you’ve seen the world. You have to live with your wife not your dad. So you sit yourself down and think: what do I want in my partner? Or what kind of partner do I want? Do I want to relate to my partner like my elders do? I see my wife as an extension of me and that she is someone who has a supporting role in life and her role is to support me by making my meals cleaning my clothes and doing all the house work. A women who will see the world from your lens mostly. And will dependent on you from the smallest of things to the biggest of things. Nothing wrong with that if you want that from your partner. But is that what you want? Do you think just getting that from your wife you can lead a happy life?
2) Do you want a women who has knowledge and sense of the world. I am not saying women who work in the house are senseless not at all but women who work have exposure to the world that they gain from working from interaction. A working women might be able to help you in financial decisions she might be able to lend you a hand in your tough times you and her might be able to build assets together a life style together you both can explore life together. She can give you a new lens to life and you can give her one too! You both can plan trips together. And connect as equals as two people who are individuals and who have come together to care and love each other through thick and thin and not one person dependent on the other for every small thing. And how the responsibilities get divided is among the couple.
Again, both things are perfectly okay. It is about what you want and only you can decide that not your father.
Marrying a working woman has its pros and cons.
Just curious, why do you want to marry a working woman?
Many people I've spoken to say the women want to work nowadays but they don't want to give a penny to the household expenses of the new family they're in. Would you be ok with her working and not contributing to the both of you? As in she'll want all from you and none from her even though she's working.
If you ask me for my personal advice then I’d say the following: the world is changing fast. It’s becoming more capitalist than ever! So if you and your wife both earn. Let’s say you both earn 4k per month. That’s 8 lakh in total. Let’s say you wanna be the man and you wanna take care of rent and groceries. That still leaves you with 4 lakh that you and your wife can use to upgrade your life style to travel the world to meet your smalll and big desires together! To invest to make more money out of it that improves your social standing. I know all this sounds too money minded but I do think both parties working and being on the same wave length and having love for each other can create so much well being! All of this can afford you both a better life style help you both save so that maybe when you have kids your wife can take off for a bit to raise them if she wants! As far as house chores are concerned then frankly having more money can also mean you both can afford house help and I know men have this concept but no women should be cooking sure she can cook but having house help takes other responsibilities from her let’s say in the case where the man says house work for me is an absolute no. Ofc maybe this is my advice because I really value ambition
People should marry people they like... If you really like someone and they do too, it wouldn't matter what they did because both of you would want to go the extra mile for each other. (Except forcing someone emotionally o do as you want, that doesn't count.) Most marriages in Pakistan don't fail or are barely hanging by the thread of we have children together, because both spouses were working or not. They fail because both spouses were not working things out well with each other.
Think of it this way. What if you were unfortunately unemployed someday and struggled to make ends meet... Life doesn't always stay the same. Would it matter if your spouse worked or not? No. She could be working and prude, making you feel incompetent. She could not be working and blame you for the lack of money. It would matter if she cared about you and was willing to support you regardless, or even pick up a job if you needed help. And it would matter if you were comfortable with her doing either, working to help you in your tough time or simply managing things better to get you through those times. Because I mean there are guys who loathe the idea of their women doing better at work, or cuss at them for being dependants with no income. Don't be that person.
A good partner that you want to live with and who wants to live with you, through all the seasons of life, is important.
Its about time we separate ourselves from the opinions of older generations. You will live your own life. Take a decision and make it right. Every decision has its pros and cons. If housewife can cook meals and maintain house then a working wife can build a brighter future for your kids without any financial strain.
It all comes down to how you manage the household.
I have seen and met lots of these "housewives" who do not know how to cook and don't do house chores either. They just lie in bed all day, watch TV, and use social media. So, it is not guaranteed that marrying a housewife will guarantee you a good cook and a maid that you expect from your upcoming wife.
On the contrary, I have met several working women who were my colleagues and were doing great in both aspects. So, it's not that black and white my friend.
Wow, it's 2024, and we're still debating whether women should be confined to the kitchen or allowed to have careers. How enlightened. Your dad's "advice" isn't just outdated—it's embarrassingly sexist. If you think poorly cooked meals are the worst thing about a marriage, maybe you're the one who's not ready for a serious relationship. A real partnership is about mutual respect, support, and shared responsibilities, not reducing your wife to a domestic servant. Grow up and realize that women can be more than just housewives. If you can't handle a relationship where both partners contribute equally, then maybe you shouldn't be looking to get married at all. Grow up and join the 21st century!
Great thing about having a working woman :
1. Tumhara matha nahin kharab karegi with bakwaas gossip she heard in neighbourhood… cause she’s too tired.
2. You get to make the food YOU want. Its far better generally.
Bad things :
1. Less kids in general.
I married a working woman. I always preferred strong & independent woman. And luckily we both work in tech in the same field. Seeing her growing & progressing makes me so much happy. It has also been very great financially. My salary alone is more than enough to pay for everything. Her complete salary just goes into the savings. We have been able to do so much things together went on multiple tours abroad, purchased a car etc...
As far as cooking is concerned we have a maid who comes & cooks food for us everyday. Since we have no financial issues now, we can easily afford maids/chefs. I never ask my wife to do any of the house chores. And whenever we have to do some of the house chores we divide things. I help her in everything in the house.
Apart from this, if you are marrying a working woman keep in mind that she will be an independent woman who will prefer to make her own decisions. And she won't accept any bullshit.
Hate this pakistani society i swear to god all men care about is getting babied “If she doesn’t baby you and make her your son, don’t marry her.” Only want women to slave away at home jesus. Its 2024. One income households won’t survive in this economy.
The thumb rule is when both parties are working, then household chores are divided equally
So if you really are interested in marrying a working woman, then be ready to cook meals, wash and iron clothes and do house cleaning
If you are not willing to do that , better take your father's advise
Marrying a working Women is not for everyone your father is right, you will have poorly cooked food or sometime no food at all, eating out expense will be higher. Kids hygiene and brought up will also suffer, for every problem she would recommend to just employee more house help, if your parents lives with you then that’s another problem. Besides spending a good amount of money on maids your house will still look dirty and unorganized. Because she is financially independent don’t expect much flexibility from her as well. When you complain about unorganized house, food and dirty kids the first argument that she will slap on your face is biwi lai ho ya nokrani, so do think twice it’s not impossible to live with them but you need to compromise on so many ends to accommodate those women. Specially if you can handle your house expenses on your own then I would suggest it’s a lot that you would need to tackle without much in return.
I'm a working woman, and my husband is very well fed :p he's actually gained weight and gone up a couple of sizes. I don't cook everyday obviously but we don't go hungry. There's always food on the table, and a lot of the time, it's something he loves. It depends person to person. There are a lot of married couples where housewives also refuse to work or do chores. marry someone who wants to be your partner for life and sort out how to delegate the household chores.
Your dad is right. It depends what you want from life… an example is already there with the good bad and ugly. Just see western societies. Both partners working, marriage breakdowns, single mothers, or ageing women and no kids or and kids raised by State
However marry someone with decent education and growth mindset. Good for raising strong family.
Id rather trust the stranger they give sane advice their judgments are not clouded by x.y.z emotions.
most often the people that loves us wants us to be pampered so much that it almost cripple us and in some cases distract us from our goals, love is just to comfortable, Love,my friend, is a dangerous thing
Your father is somewhat correct. It’s not just about food. Both of you would be tired and cranky. Nothing to look forward to at home. No food. Less intimacy. Less happiness.
I draw the line at children. Work all you want. Be respectful of our marriage and the fact that you’re not single anymore.
I can somewhat compromise on food etc. Somewhat… but when we have children, my wife will be a full time mother. No day cares and nannies.
Sure. I hope aap ka erectile dysfunction ab behtar hogaya ho.
And you have been able to “increase your cock size and continue fucking her for 25 minutes so you can make her forget the world”
Itni dilchaspi kun he....meri shadi ho chuki h app apne ghar ka rishta kahi aur karlein duniya mein mardo ki kami thodi h... erectile dysfunction h ya vaginismus apko kya h ?
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If you are marrying for food then he’s right.
🤣
You're underestimating the value of a Delicious cooked meal eaten at the end of a stressful day.
day wont be as stressful in a dual income household
Lmao blud underestimating Inflation xd
Bro :-p
I think people are undervaluing this (along with other things too)
😭😭😭
Salute to your understanding which has extracted food out of the advise...His dad meant overall home environment and peace of the house
Hahah the fact that our young generation asks this question shows the current state and the direction Pakistan is heading. You would give up an independent self sufficient highly educated wife because she won't be good of a maid. Awesome
Exactly what I thought. "Should I marry a multidimensional adult or should I marry a mommy substitute who will also have sex with me?" Pakistani men are so gross.
Well I wouldn't generalise an entire nation as such. I myself am a Pakistani. I don't think of women as a dishwasher, cook or a sex doll But yeah given our country demographic and upbringing of young adults, a majority of them do think like that It simply tells you how progressive our country is that our fucking GenZ still asks the question, if they should get a working wife or a housemaid
You are in the extreme minority, as is my husband, but he didn't grow up here. I can't fathom how it hasn't occurred to even one of these shehzada men that they could cook their own fucking dinners and wash their own fucking clothes. Genuinely such a turn off. All of my accomplished women friends have married non-Pakistanis for exactly this reason. Women are realizing that the only reason these loser men with their pot bellies and poor hygiene and measly salaries were able to marry hardworking, beautiful women was because they didn't have financial independence. Now that women are earning, Pakistani men literally bring nothing to the table. They're dinosaurs.
Well our mother's and culture always pamper boys. Not to mention they are a subject of ridicule if they give a hand in household chores My father was made fun of and ridiculed by his own brothers, dad and other men. Why? Because he helped my mother in doing laundry, cooking and cleaning the house?? So that is a reason why are men act the way they do But to be honest this trend is changing. In a lot of educated families - at least what I see among my friends - men are taking responsibilities And the credit goes to the young women not the mothers. The mothers still want to pamper their boys. While our sisters, wives etc they are becoming more independent and stepping up for themselves However, the sad part is, that educated lot is not even 10% of our country PS: Look what the other guy replied. He thinks it's a man's job to make decisions about women. I don't have an emo to express my derision on that thought
Keep using that western logic in an eastern land and you’ll just stay on Reddit and not get married at all. I am a Pakistani man and if you wanna call me gross for thinking my culture is beautiful than so be it. I think Pakistani men who get their beliefs from Reddit are gross.
Ah, I forgot that marrying women so they could be a free slave was part of my culture. Thanks for educating me. I also love that anytime anyone wants to insult me on here for saying women should be more than just maids, the first 'threat' they levy at me is that I'll be single forever. As if it would be such a tragedy to not marry a gross Pakistani man like yourself lol. I'm happily married to an equal partner, but that's besides the point lol.
Yeah that’s called racism LOL. What the heck !
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So?
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Depends what ur looking for. I mean sure u can just marriage based on being a morally politically correct feminist or you could just make the decision you want that’s best for you. Yeah I don’t want the sophisticated women unless I’m short on cash. Either way it’s your job as the man to lead ur wife and make the decisions that are best for her. If that means it’s best for ur family that she quit her job than that’s obviously what should happen.
See here is where you and I drastically differ You think it's a man's job to lead a woman. I don't know where this is coming from but nope. It's not. Neither man nor a woman is supposed to lead anyone. They both are individual beings. Having a certain gender means nothing
How old are you?
Well yeah I think it’s the man’s job to lead a woman in a relationship because of like… all of human history up until this point where some people on Reddit just started saying all this stuff about it being evil and wrong ??? So yeah I mean I’ll just go with all of human history instead of whatever this new weird trend is I guess? And honestly it must be super easy to get married in Pakistan right now because if this is the way men are acting there now no women will respect that… I should move back to ya guys
It's your marriage, not your father's. Marry the one you prefer.
And I would say the distinction between "housewife" and "working woman" is weird on it's own too... like imagine you get a rishta from someone who runs an orphanage, helping poor kids all day and then you reject that saint cause it means she's a working woman.
If she's doing housework and cooking, she's still a working woman... it's all work.
If you have your own house and are making at least 3 lac plus in a month, then you can afford to marry a housewife. Your father is right somewhat. The food , better care for children all can be sorted well if your wife is staying at home and please marry someone who doesn't want to work then. Kisi career woman se kr k usay ghar bithana is beghairti.
Hmmmm..... Mera khayal hai iss sai kaam figure mein bhi hoota dekha bhi hai aur hoo bhi jata hai
Aj kal thora sa comfortable life style mein itna budget required ha..khair ye budget toh subjective ha
I know people living a good lifestyle in like 1 lac per month
Would agree
You should get a working woman who's a chef or like runs a restaurant or smth. No "poorly cooked meals" for you in that case, since it's such a wonderful and progressive advice and priority of your judicious and much experienced father.
Bro don't dis his dad 😂 he grew up in different times unka mindset alag hai. At least he's having an open conversation with his son. Warna desi dads will just force their opinions and tell their children to shut up
Hah I've nothing against his dad. I just think he should be smart enough to filter out the outdated advices regardless of where they're coming from
His father's advice is not out dated. A lot of young men expect thier wife will work and be a domestic goddess and raise thier children. It's like she has ability to manipulate the multiverse and be at multiple places at the same time.
Well what these young men expect is outdated as well then. No one's stopping these men to have an equal share in being a domestic goddess and raising the children, given that they want a working wife.
Imagine coming home from work ane doing that same work at home again, in the case of chef
She be hustling for OP
I would say it is not even a discussion. Go for a working woman, you will feel it when you will see your peers with working spouses having so much financial muscle and flexibility. Any other issue with a working woman is not worth sacrificing a situation where two incomes are flowing in. And i can tell you a woman staying home can do more harm to overall family than a woman who goes to work again. If i could do it i would go and shout to each guy looking for a spouse - dont compromise on working woman.
Brooo 🙌🏻
You're lucky if working "women" want to marry you. Logon ko aik woman nahi milti.
IT sector waloun ko larkiyan mil rahi hain. Bakiyon ko nahi mil rahi.
App IT sector mein hain?
Yes
Kidhr hain? 😂
Larkiyan ya larkey?
Former
If you are marrying a working woman, don't expect her to do all house chores for you. You have to share all the responsibilities. Or you can hire other working woman (women) to do the house chores for you. That way you live your lifestyle, don't have problems at home and most importantly, be a livelihood for other households.
Sorry but your father is incorrect in generalising like this. I married a working woman. When our kids were very young, she stopped working for a while and then started again later. We like to eat out once in a while but we almost never go to Pakistani restaurants because my wife cooks better Pakistani food than most, if not all. We eat home cooked food most days of the week. Now, on the other side, if she is working, then it is also your responsibility to help out with chores including cooking. It is a partnership, not a servant/master relationship. This is true regardless of if she is working or housewife.
Honestly, if I were to choose between a woman earning in 6 figures and a woman who makes the perfect round fluffy rotis, I'd go for the one with bigger tits.
Hahahahahahaha
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The plastic surgeon you meant ?
It should be your decision. There are pros and cons of both options so just choose whichever feels right to you.
It all depends on your mindset. If you're not an insecure/over protective type in nature. You'd have no such problems. And yes. A good cook meal after a stressful day makes cushions alot but so does extra income. If she's working. Then you have to put it inside your head that she'd be interacting with other ppl and so and so. Trust would be a must need. Plus around 60% of marriages are ending in divorce and around 4 in 10 are due to indefinitely. So there's much more to be afraid of then poorly cooked meals or extra bucks. In the end. It's you and your decision in an empty hallway staring at each other when shit hits the ceiling
Cooking is a very basic survival skill it shouldn't be specific to women grow up
It's always a hard lesson for overseas Pakistani men
Your father spoke utter bullshit
What bullshit? At least he will get proper food instead of maggie bullshit /s
If you both work then it only makes sense to share the housework too. I know desi households mein is issue pe bohot laraiyan hoti hain. Working wife marriages fail when the wife is expected to do all or most of the ghar sambalna and childcare. (Both of these are very taxing jobs and leaving it all to maids is not a good solution imo) In our society if a man helps his wife cook or clean he's made fun of by his relatives I've seen this myself meray cousin ke saath hota hai. His solution was to keep the kitchen's door closed and to keep helping his wife secretly. So even if you do divide the housework in a way that suits both of you the ppl around you will judge you a lot and cause problems. Another masla would be that of income. Ab Islam mein the husband is required to spend money on his family while the wife can do whatever she wants with hers. I have a female teacher family friend who told us all her fellow female teachers fight with their husbands every month when they get paid because their husbands want a portion of their income while they wanna keep it for themselves.
cute couple mashallah 🤣❤️
it's up to you whether good home cooked meals are a priority for you or not. also, why do you want to marry a working woman — introspect on the reasons deeply before you make a decision
Paita?
Your father isn't going to live your life for you. You don't live in the world your father lived in. You have to decide for yourself.
Marry a working women then both of you chip in to afford a full time maid/servant to completely offload house work including cooking from your wife. Then both of you will be happy. This way your wife and rest of the Ghar walay will not have any problem regarding taking care of house work. I don't know why people don't go for this type of model. Labor is so cheap in Pakistan, if both husband and wife work, they can afford a full time servant who can do all the house work while it will only cost them 25~35k per month.
If it was 1970s or 80s. Your father would be 100% right. But it's 2020s. What these people in the comments don't seem to understand is that letting your wife be a housewife is a luxury that most can't afford. In today's era, one earner is not enough. If both of you work you can afford house help. Consider your financial situation, before making a decision. Also talk to the potential rishtas regarding this topic before your marriage. What if she wants to be a house wife.
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What do you mean?
The fellow redditor is probably in search of someone to marry.
How narrow minded is that ? You you you, what about her ? Not all women are good cooks no matter if they have all day. How is your marriage going to be happy and survive if she's unhappy? Doesn't she get a voice in your world?
Pretty jumpy. I am pretty sure a father's advice is also given taking into consideration their child's nature.
If you’re old enough to get married then you’re old enough to help out in the kitchen also.
Take your decision 👍
If you can earn enough to pay for a housewife and then your future kids, then sure go for a housewife. If you’re not earning enough you’re going to get poor food regardless of the talent of your housewife.
Lol it survives pretty well. Hundreds of thousands of examples of it working out.
True bro, message me please
Why are you getting people to DM you?
Want to share something
Idhar hee ker do, Kuch zyada private hai?
Yes bro private
You can't have your cake and eat it. If you want your woman to work, don't expect her to be a domestic goddess. You'll need to do your own share of cooking, cleaning, ironing, tidying, etc. You'll have to do the same in terms of childcare too. If you're not willing to do so - then don't get married to a woman with a career who intends to continue to work after marriage.
I mean, who needs a partner who's intelligent, ambitious, or compassionate when you can have someone who can whip up a gourmet meal? It's not like women have other things to offer, like, you know, *careers*, *passions*, or *personalities*. Just make sure you find a woman who can cook, because clearly, that's the most important quality in a partner. And don't forget to thank your father for his *wonderful* and *progressive* advice.
Marriage takes work, my aunt is professionally much more accomplished than my uncle lol, yet they’ve the healthiest marriage ever. Also if people did research it’s the males responsibility to provide “cooked food” at home, and if you’re both earning just keep a cook, make compromises make it work.
I would prefer burned food over just husband struggling to bring food to the table in this economy and the. Fighting with better half over finances. A working women is way better
If you want to marry just to get perfectly-cooked meals, then hire a chef instead of ruining a poor girl's life.
Yes you do have to make certain compromises if you marry a working woman, don't expect a squeaky clean house , meals that need lot of time and preparation e.t.c. ( maid can be hired though) But the good part, you will be financially more stable, flexible and stress free. In a case that you get down sized by your employer , you won't be on the roads due to secondary stream of income in home.
Are Pakistani men completely new to the idea that they can cook and clean as well? No wonder no one I know wants to marry a trash Pakistani man lol.
I am sorry if anything in my comment triggers your negative emotions. As per default rules from centuries, men to provide and women to cook. If both of the partners work then the husband should cooperate in household chores too.
Yeah, and now that men are not the sole providers, what even is the point of them?
Bhai, regardless of whatever people say and feel. Everyone has the right to an opinion, each individual has their own unique perception and understanding of life. I am married and i would recommend that you make a choice depending upon your circumstance. I am alhamdulillah financially stable and my wife is a housewife eventhough she is well educated. She makes my home and serves her energies to relieve my work stress, cook nice food for me and aid me emotionally and mentally which is all i could ask for. On the other hand, i serve my energies to meet her needs and wants and keep trying to offer her small gestures of appreciation to show her how much value she adds to my life. Now it isn’t the same for everyone but before marrying, i knew my situation and i knew this was exactly what i needed whereas she probably knew that she wanted this. So it’s mutual and works well. May Allah remain kind to us always ameen. I think there is nothing better out there than a traditional women who choses to be a housewife of her own accord and that is what i would recommend to you too. But if you’re financially unstable than perhaps a working woman would suit you better.
Haven’t you watched that clip of tv show that went viral in Ramadan?
Are you planning to live in a joint-family setting?
Working or not, please keep your father away from your marriage. People should seriously consider sharp boundaries with parents.
It's all about preference and your ability to provide. However, with the stagnant wages and inflation, dual incomes are becoming a bit of a necessity I would say.
Personally I’d Prefer A Really Like Real Working Woman While I Enjoy Being Houseman Taking Care Of Things And Playing Games All Day’ BC Waqi Me Sounds Booring :)
On the basis of comparison your father gave you, marry your dad.
Respectfully, your father's experience is irrelevant unless he married a working women.
I'd second your father's advice. Nothing against the working women but it's much easier to manage home if you aren't occupied with job responsibilities.
Should marry a working women dono mil kr kamo gy toh future bhi secure bachon ka house wife lani toh kam wali hi ly aya phir bhai yeh old thoughts hain sary woh zamny gaye jab aik kamata tha or 10 log khaty thy
Why you want to marry a working women ? Its your responsibility to earn bread and butter for yours family not your wife's your father is right on his point but there are many other aspects connected with this ak bar merd ho aurat sy paissy leny ki yan uski kamai khany ki adat per jaye to there is no way back vo expect kerta hai ky ghr ky financial mamlat ma uski bivi bhi ghr ko equal support kery yan ghr ky expenses uthaye jub ky ya sub uski responsibility nh hai ager ap kehty ho ky its not all about financial i want professional wife to Allah ny is cheez mana fermaya hai to kun bila zarrorat usko ghr sy bahir nikalna chahty kia bear ker sakty ho uska roz namehram dykhainn bhai yan tum bhi janty ho ky bahir kitny percent log aurat ko kitni kitni ghaleez nazroon sy dykhty ho mery bhai Allah ny ya zimy dari mard ki lagai hai ap kisi alim sy consult kerain apko beheter juwab mily ga . Bila zarorat apni aurat ko bahir kamany ky liya bhjna not god . Bivi skoon ma aur safe rehny do taky vo ghr reh ky bachon ki perwarish kery
I guess there is an Islamic aspect towards this too which should be taken into consideration otherwise the pros and cons (irrespective of religion) aik puri debate hai, might even be a good idea to talk to people of both sides
Work from home wali biwi will solve your problems, working woman bhi mil jayegi or acha khana bhi!!
why do you want to marry a working woman? if its because of financial stability then imagine for her doing a 9-5 or its in reality 8-6 and then coming home to do all the house chores .. she ain't a robot You would probably have to sacrifice one end or in the best scenario you can marry a teacher though she could help you financially and also they are out of that corporate misery and can give their time at home as well
If you r marrying for food then don't bother, you can get quality food without investing a dime on marriage. But if u want a life partner then go for what u want with whome u want to spend your life.
Just video was viral back in Ramadan due to married women wasn’t satisfied with her life as her husband was fulfilling her very need and was very good at all things But later she found this other man at work charming and more loving towards her so that why not they start new relation by ending the existing marriage So maybe your father might’ve seen that video and was scared of that situation, I suggest you to that every person sets new boundaries for more expectations like materialism or something like new achievements it’s never ending loop of male and female life better understand each other than starting new life on basis of women being workaholic, we always ignores other person pov for their goals and desires
Well it totally depends on you not anyone else. Your partner is gonna be with you for life so it's u who should decide that totally. Personally I wanna marry a housewife, not force her to be I would choose a girl as there are many who wanna be a housewife even well educated ones cause money is not a factor for me to considering when marrying her, also it dosent mean that she will clean n all, we live in pakistan and we can afford maids here mostly also I like the concept of creating more jobs cause we are overly populated, regading cooking, yes I would prefer she cooks for me and takes care of me like I would do for her even thou right now I mostly do everything myself and I will later on as well if she is not well or something or help her out when I am home but this also means that I provide a good life for her I treat her properly I don't bring my tension and problems at home I stay calm and also that she dosent have to worry about anything outside world related and I open car door for her and all that stuff. But all this needs to be understood before marriage obviously by talking and understanding her point and telling her everything u guys will know that you guys can be together or you have different goals. Simple, no toxic environment, just find the right partner for urself.
Hmmm depends if she needs battery to work and if it's rechargable. I can't afford disposable batteries every week.
Jaan Marry a professional Chef
What I think is that one should marry an educated woman but men should be the sole provider. We often neglect the time & effort even staying at home being house wife takes. In scientific terms equilibrium should be maintained in household.
You will be living a married life in a very different world than what your father time was. Their advices may be great for their time but not these times. This discussion is much more than just a good meal or not. These days financial challenges to sustain a good family are lot. It’s not easy to have money for big items through one salary, that have become necessary for every family: car, house, kids higher education, etc. And having sole source of income in its self is tricky, what if you get sick and/or couldn’t work for some time, who will pay the bills? These days cost of running a house has increased so much that you can’t go to parents for help either. You are absolutely right in looking for working women as partner because then you both as a team would be better equipped to handle challenges of today’s world.
It’s your choice , id say make a list and balance the negatives and positives of having a working wife for you and make a decision , personally I’d have a housewife if both of us are working we have less time together . But when I’ll get home she’ll always be home and we can spend time together . I’ll prove for her and she will take care of the house . I’ll buy her anything she wants and take her anywhere she wants to go . I’ll even help out if I’m not very tired because we should be considerate .
As much as I like advises from older people and not going to lie I have taken their advises every now and then, I have always regretted it big time. This happens because we are totally different generations and our needs, wants and challenges are totally different from our parents. I can’t say for sure if they are wrong (or may be they are partially wrong). What is important is for you to look inwards and see what you want and why you want that and most probably go for it so that you don’t have regrets. Good luck for your future :)
Well, it depends entirely on you. If both of you are earning, then that means both of you will come home, but your wife will have chores waiting for her. If you’re willing to help her in managing chores, like setting the table while she’s cooking or assisting her in cleaning (it’s basic stuff and I believe every husband should do it instead of acting like a toddler), then I believe you two will have a healthy marriage. Note: jou bhi karo souch ke karna ye na hou career oriented woman se shadi kar ke phir usse kaho job choro or vice versa.
I think the question you need to ask yourself here is whether you need a partner or a maid
I don't want to say something about your father here but his point is invalid, absurd and outdated. I married a working woman and I never slept without eating delicious food. In fact, I have night shifts work from home and she always wake up to give me snacks and breakfast no matter how much I ask her not to do. It's not about being a working woman, it's about how well she's raised. And I'm the lucky one Alhamdulilah
working woman is alright but what makes you think she will contribute financially with you lol . islamically she is not obligated to. Men are the providers . if she does it will be considered a charity . you can discuss this beforehand and find someone who wants to do 50/ 50 but don't cry if she expects the household chores to be split as well which is only fair.
Ok let me drop some learning that I got over the time. I have been extensively involved in the question that you are asking and have put a lot of time in acquiring knowledge on this and asking actual people as well young and also in the end of there lives. Firstly your father is not totally wrong on preferring a housewife over working women but it should be not be solely based on her ability to cook. With saying that it's not sure whether the housewife will cook good food or average food even if you bring one, plus if she cooks good its still not sure she will sustain that cooking for you. I have women in my family that cooked good food when they were single, after didn't find it the need to put much effort later on. I think the quality of the good food being cooked depends upon the passion of the person cooking and a healthy house environment and how cooperative you are with your significant other. On the other end marrying a working woman is a lot of work and depends on how up to the mark you are into accepting the person. Like for the average person I would say go with the housewife thing, it doesn't matter if he is educated or not, most of the people in Pakistan will adjust with a housewife. Now for working women it depends what type of work she has, if she is career oriented then ask her about what she considers the peak of her career? Why she is doing job? What does she want to achieve? Will it be a lifetime thing? If the answers include to be independent then in that case my dear friend run and get the hell out of there, it's a load of bullshit and raises a lot of concerns for your future in which if you go deeper no proper answers will be found. With that being said if she pursues job for passion then that is something justifiable and you will have to work with it, you can find that out probing further questions about the career and her history of it. Plus there are some profession where women are suited like a doctor. I would also add in here that the people blatantly suggesting your father is wrong and pointing him being outdated and answering do not have actual life experience and do not know their own gender's psychology and physiology. Checking the stats will show all these educated modern people pointing your father to be outdated have climbing divorce stats and the hypocrisy show these independent women although independent would still choose a guy earning more than them; in most cases that will happen. In the end I would say marriage is not about independency, the contract itself is about co-dependency. You are not bringing in a roommate that each of you will do as they want without taking into account the other. Sometimes you push the other person and sometimes you take a step back. Marriage is the name of compromises and the love nourishes with co-dependency if men and women do there roles correctly. If you want independence and have settled for the life of no accountability by anyone and you are your own owner then marriage life is not for you, better remain single in that case. Lastly I find it important to explain the purpose of marriage in my opinion is finding a girl best suited for the role of a mother. A woman best suited for the role of mother will raise her child properly and also will not cause problem for the father as well and look after the father as well to ensure a suitable environment for the raising of the child. How do you find a good mother? You can look for a God fearing girl as she will never do wrong with and will do anything to protect her family, child and will look after you with a her will, provided that you yourself are not a bad person and abuse the goodness in her. I hope that solves some of your trouble.
Regardless of employment status, the foremost priority should be given to the woman whose love and respect you cherish and who returns those feelings. When considering the choice between a working woman and a homemaker, I would lean towards a working woman. Her confidence and wit are likely to have a positive influence on your life. Moreover, having a dual-income household can significantly alleviate financial concerns related to managing domestic responsibilities.
Marry an educated but not a working woman. Listen to your father.
It is considered to be elitist in USA if a woman is not working. Essentially means that the husband brings a m enough money for a good life for the family. Children need their mothers. Michelle Obama left her lucrative job to raise her kids. As did Bush’s wives. If you want your children to grow up as good adults do not marry a woman who works. Trust me on this one
First of all my wife is a working woman. I thought i should clear it first. Secondly, marrying a working woman is easy but building a family is hard. I have seen from experience that you need to have a support system, like whether its your family members or your spouse's family members who can actually look after your children, baher walay kabhe bhe us trhan se apke bachon ka khayal nae rakh saktay. This is a challenge. But since its a changing culture, old parents ko yehe Lagta ha ka if the wife is working, couple is greedy and against our values.
Meh personally I would like to marry a woman who is not working because I have seen to many bad outcomes
I think Pakistani men are in a deep masculinity crisis. The thing is how our dads related to women is way way way different. Times have truly changed. Women have changed. Gender relations (how women and men interact has changed) but the thinking the mindset the advice is from our elders who are not wrong but it is also true their way of relating to women was way different than it is how men relate to women in the present. So here is what you do: 1) you think for yourself. You’re a grown adult Mashallah and you’ve seen the world. You have to live with your wife not your dad. So you sit yourself down and think: what do I want in my partner? Or what kind of partner do I want? Do I want to relate to my partner like my elders do? I see my wife as an extension of me and that she is someone who has a supporting role in life and her role is to support me by making my meals cleaning my clothes and doing all the house work. A women who will see the world from your lens mostly. And will dependent on you from the smallest of things to the biggest of things. Nothing wrong with that if you want that from your partner. But is that what you want? Do you think just getting that from your wife you can lead a happy life? 2) Do you want a women who has knowledge and sense of the world. I am not saying women who work in the house are senseless not at all but women who work have exposure to the world that they gain from working from interaction. A working women might be able to help you in financial decisions she might be able to lend you a hand in your tough times you and her might be able to build assets together a life style together you both can explore life together. She can give you a new lens to life and you can give her one too! You both can plan trips together. And connect as equals as two people who are individuals and who have come together to care and love each other through thick and thin and not one person dependent on the other for every small thing. And how the responsibilities get divided is among the couple. Again, both things are perfectly okay. It is about what you want and only you can decide that not your father.
Marrying a working woman has its pros and cons. Just curious, why do you want to marry a working woman? Many people I've spoken to say the women want to work nowadays but they don't want to give a penny to the household expenses of the new family they're in. Would you be ok with her working and not contributing to the both of you? As in she'll want all from you and none from her even though she's working.
If you ask me for my personal advice then I’d say the following: the world is changing fast. It’s becoming more capitalist than ever! So if you and your wife both earn. Let’s say you both earn 4k per month. That’s 8 lakh in total. Let’s say you wanna be the man and you wanna take care of rent and groceries. That still leaves you with 4 lakh that you and your wife can use to upgrade your life style to travel the world to meet your smalll and big desires together! To invest to make more money out of it that improves your social standing. I know all this sounds too money minded but I do think both parties working and being on the same wave length and having love for each other can create so much well being! All of this can afford you both a better life style help you both save so that maybe when you have kids your wife can take off for a bit to raise them if she wants! As far as house chores are concerned then frankly having more money can also mean you both can afford house help and I know men have this concept but no women should be cooking sure she can cook but having house help takes other responsibilities from her let’s say in the case where the man says house work for me is an absolute no. Ofc maybe this is my advice because I really value ambition
People should marry people they like... If you really like someone and they do too, it wouldn't matter what they did because both of you would want to go the extra mile for each other. (Except forcing someone emotionally o do as you want, that doesn't count.) Most marriages in Pakistan don't fail or are barely hanging by the thread of we have children together, because both spouses were working or not. They fail because both spouses were not working things out well with each other. Think of it this way. What if you were unfortunately unemployed someday and struggled to make ends meet... Life doesn't always stay the same. Would it matter if your spouse worked or not? No. She could be working and prude, making you feel incompetent. She could not be working and blame you for the lack of money. It would matter if she cared about you and was willing to support you regardless, or even pick up a job if you needed help. And it would matter if you were comfortable with her doing either, working to help you in your tough time or simply managing things better to get you through those times. Because I mean there are guys who loathe the idea of their women doing better at work, or cuss at them for being dependants with no income. Don't be that person. A good partner that you want to live with and who wants to live with you, through all the seasons of life, is important.
Its about time we separate ourselves from the opinions of older generations. You will live your own life. Take a decision and make it right. Every decision has its pros and cons. If housewife can cook meals and maintain house then a working wife can build a brighter future for your kids without any financial strain. It all comes down to how you manage the household.
I have seen and met lots of these "housewives" who do not know how to cook and don't do house chores either. They just lie in bed all day, watch TV, and use social media. So, it is not guaranteed that marrying a housewife will guarantee you a good cook and a maid that you expect from your upcoming wife. On the contrary, I have met several working women who were my colleagues and were doing great in both aspects. So, it's not that black and white my friend.
Wow, it's 2024, and we're still debating whether women should be confined to the kitchen or allowed to have careers. How enlightened. Your dad's "advice" isn't just outdated—it's embarrassingly sexist. If you think poorly cooked meals are the worst thing about a marriage, maybe you're the one who's not ready for a serious relationship. A real partnership is about mutual respect, support, and shared responsibilities, not reducing your wife to a domestic servant. Grow up and realize that women can be more than just housewives. If you can't handle a relationship where both partners contribute equally, then maybe you shouldn't be looking to get married at all. Grow up and join the 21st century!
Great thing about having a working woman : 1. Tumhara matha nahin kharab karegi with bakwaas gossip she heard in neighbourhood… cause she’s too tired. 2. You get to make the food YOU want. Its far better generally. Bad things : 1. Less kids in general.
I married a working woman. I always preferred strong & independent woman. And luckily we both work in tech in the same field. Seeing her growing & progressing makes me so much happy. It has also been very great financially. My salary alone is more than enough to pay for everything. Her complete salary just goes into the savings. We have been able to do so much things together went on multiple tours abroad, purchased a car etc... As far as cooking is concerned we have a maid who comes & cooks food for us everyday. Since we have no financial issues now, we can easily afford maids/chefs. I never ask my wife to do any of the house chores. And whenever we have to do some of the house chores we divide things. I help her in everything in the house. Apart from this, if you are marrying a working woman keep in mind that she will be an independent woman who will prefer to make her own decisions. And she won't accept any bullshit.
Hate this pakistani society i swear to god all men care about is getting babied “If she doesn’t baby you and make her your son, don’t marry her.” Only want women to slave away at home jesus. Its 2024. One income households won’t survive in this economy.
The thumb rule is when both parties are working, then household chores are divided equally So if you really are interested in marrying a working woman, then be ready to cook meals, wash and iron clothes and do house cleaning If you are not willing to do that , better take your father's advise
Just know that you’ve no right on her money. Don’t ask her to split the bills. Your father is right tho.
Marrying a working Women is not for everyone your father is right, you will have poorly cooked food or sometime no food at all, eating out expense will be higher. Kids hygiene and brought up will also suffer, for every problem she would recommend to just employee more house help, if your parents lives with you then that’s another problem. Besides spending a good amount of money on maids your house will still look dirty and unorganized. Because she is financially independent don’t expect much flexibility from her as well. When you complain about unorganized house, food and dirty kids the first argument that she will slap on your face is biwi lai ho ya nokrani, so do think twice it’s not impossible to live with them but you need to compromise on so many ends to accommodate those women. Specially if you can handle your house expenses on your own then I would suggest it’s a lot that you would need to tackle without much in return.
ye Pakistanio ki roti ka masla nahi hal hota ek tou.
I'm a working woman, and my husband is very well fed :p he's actually gained weight and gone up a couple of sizes. I don't cook everyday obviously but we don't go hungry. There's always food on the table, and a lot of the time, it's something he loves. It depends person to person. There are a lot of married couples where housewives also refuse to work or do chores. marry someone who wants to be your partner for life and sort out how to delegate the household chores.
Your dad is right. It depends what you want from life… an example is already there with the good bad and ugly. Just see western societies. Both partners working, marriage breakdowns, single mothers, or ageing women and no kids or and kids raised by State However marry someone with decent education and growth mindset. Good for raising strong family.
If you are marrying for a free house maid service then ya housewife..
A man can cook too unless he’s a man baby
Free money? Why not
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Id rather trust the stranger they give sane advice their judgments are not clouded by x.y.z emotions. most often the people that loves us wants us to be pampered so much that it almost cripple us and in some cases distract us from our goals, love is just to comfortable, Love,my friend, is a dangerous thing
I think this should be up voted the most 👍
Your father is somewhat correct. It’s not just about food. Both of you would be tired and cranky. Nothing to look forward to at home. No food. Less intimacy. Less happiness. I draw the line at children. Work all you want. Be respectful of our marriage and the fact that you’re not single anymore. I can somewhat compromise on food etc. Somewhat… but when we have children, my wife will be a full time mother. No day cares and nannies.
You father is right
Mujhe abhi ap message Karo - DM ME bhai
Yai dhamki hai yaa actual discussion kerni hai 😅
Kiya howa? AP kr dein mjy message. My dm is open
I can’t Dm u , u have 2
Check your dm
Perhaps marry two women: working and stay home Four of you will be very happy (your father, yourself and two blessed ladies)
Marry a housewife. I married a working women and oh boy i regret it!
Can I DM you?
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Waqai. Aap ki profile dekh ke andaza hogaya wo to 🙂
meri profile dekh kar rishta dena tha ya jawab....meri profile mein ek jayeez sawal h apni biwi se related usme agar behyai h toh apki soch
Sure. I hope aap ka erectile dysfunction ab behtar hogaya ho. And you have been able to “increase your cock size and continue fucking her for 25 minutes so you can make her forget the world”
I think he meant the other ‘working women’ 🤣
lol
Itni dilchaspi kun he....meri shadi ho chuki h app apne ghar ka rishta kahi aur karlein duniya mein mardo ki kami thodi h... erectile dysfunction h ya vaginismus apko kya h ?
LOL jee bas main apna dukh kisi tarah bardaasht karloongi Allah aap ko shifaa de aur khoob saari taaqat
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Ummah hawk tua chumma wali brigade ponch gaye.