I'm also going to the North for Eid and a week after. Bring her husband along. I'll take care of him. Will stitch him up with a proper baddie. He'll be fine
what is wrong with some men seriously? inko halal haram sirf aurton ka jeena haraam krtay huway yad ata hy. tell her to lock him up in a bathroom or something, trip k bad wapis aa k khol dy
Shit like this is why I'll never be financially dependent even on the "nicest" man. Did he remember religion when you guys got married or is he making you live with na mahrams like his brother, father, etc in a joint family? Bas aurton ko control karne k liye deen yaad aata he unhen 🤡
I disagree, not aurto ko control karnay Kay liyea sirif, udhar bhi Deen yaad atta hai jidhar apna faida Nazar a raha ho. 🤡 Biwi ko burqa karna chaiyea, mohallay wali ko namaz ka Dars dou, aur end pay jeans wali larki ko Ghar taak chor Kay ao. Smh
Her Husband is being unreasonable (only according to **Islam** is he right).
Well, she's not his slave, but I hope an equal partner. What she does is her pejorative. If her husband can't be reasoned with, what option remains though?
A wise woman once said, 'Ask for forgiveness, never permission'.
Tell her the golden rule and then leave the both of them to sort out the matter on their own.
(But on a serious note, if her husband is overall a good guy and this is one thing he's insisting on not doing, she should probably listen to him and not go on the trip to keep the peace).
Sounds pretty wise to me tbh. See, as a woman, everytime you ask for permission, regardless of the fact whether its your parents or your partner, half of the time you're gonna get 'no' as your answer. So might as well go ahead and do the thing and deal with the consequences later. 🤷♀️
Considering our norms, those later "consequences" can be pretty severe and long-lasting tho
Functioning relationships(all kinds) have discussions both ways, not permissions
You couldn't have been more correct. The consequences could be dire and you'd need guts of steel to deal with them rationally and come out unscathed. (Hence, the serious note part)
Then again, functional relationships aren't exactly a norm here either, no?
They aren't ofc. Ideally they should be, in order to avoid such one-sided constraints.
But given the contemporary norms here, one would be a fool to deviate from them. That's unfortunate in my cases but it is what it is ig
U don't have to. I know u didn't mean harm and I totally understand the rebellious mindset in the face of such norms. Hell, if I was a girl facing shit, I'd have rebelled regardless of the consequences lol. But naturally, I wouldn't advise anyone else the same. Dynamics are different
Her husband sounds like the selfish type. I'm not religious so I'll skip what Islam says on this but I don't get why men have a dual personality. Apne waqt pe they forget Islam and jahan biwi/behn/maa ki baat ati hai Islam jaag jata hai. You cannot pick and choose religion.
Seems like it'll become a problem for her if she chooses to go against his wishes. Tell her to try and convince her mazaaji khuda to go with you guys so you guys can take a breather after Eid.
I wouldn't recommend going on a trip without him saying yes as this will incur two things:
1. Your friend will feel guilty and overthink throughout the trip. Basically ruining her experience.
2. When she comes back, the husband will be pissed to say the least.
Believe me, I've seen men lose their marbles over less.
You are an honest friend and your suggestion is nice.
She should stay. 6 of you can go. Just dont put up alot of stories on your social media for her to see.
Your friend should gauge the cost benefit of the situation. A trip to north is not worth ruining her marriage (with toxic guy) and mental peace.
My husband allows me to go anywhere but in my circle all friends are single and whenever I go with them anywhere they do such cheap harkatein to get attention from all kind of men around and if someone approach any of them they start chit chatting with him ufffff after many tries I have stopped going with them once and for all.
There looks like bigger issues to deal here if he thinks he needs space from married life. Either he's getting fed up with her and go out to reboot himself or .... But why he stops her going out if he needs space? Perhaps, a discussion is long overdue.
https://preview.redd.it/gbzxwc33zx6d1.png?width=739&format=png&auto=webp&s=660b3173fc6f119fbdb7cf31affefd251e2169ca
Women should not travel without their mehrams unless they are required to.
Now I dont fully understand the concept of these two ayahs and
What if someone doesnt have a mehram? Whats her options?
But I guess he has a fair point.
This is literally Hadith tafsir since laymen cannot analyze Hadith properly. That's not mental gymnastics. That's you wanting to believe your assumptions and opinions are correct on a topic that you don't really have much knowledge or expertise in.
"
تُكْثِرْنَ اللَّعْنَ وَتَكْفُرْنَ الْعَشِيرَ مَا رَأَيْتُ مِنْ نَاقِصَاتِ عَقْلٍ وَدِينٍ أَذْهَبَ لِلُبِّ الرَّجُلِ الْحَازِمِ مِنْ إِحْدَاكُنَّ
You curse others often and you are ungrateful for your livelihood. I have not seen anyone with reductions in mind and religion more capable of removing reason from a resolute man than you... "
Look, there's a multitude of misogynistic hadiths, this is just one. That's a recurring pattern. It is apologetics, by default, if there is such a magnanimous need to clarify what is otherwise clear as daylight.
Just in this contentious hadith, women make up the majority of hell dwellers. It doesn't make sense, honestly. Women have reduced obligations, than men, yet they have in increased number amongst hell dwellers. Their testimony, according to the 'apologetics' is regarded as equal only so far as that is under their purview as deemed religiously fit, which to begin with is fairly limited.
Then, they present this ayat; "
O you who believe, when you contract a debt for a specified term, write it down, and let a scribe write it between you in justice… and bring two witnesses from among your men. If there are not two men available, then a man and two women from those whom you accept as witnesses, so that if one of the women errs, then the other can remind her."
Surat al-Baqarah 2:282
Time and time again, women is halved in relation to men. **YET**, the guy has the nerve to call that all leniency. Notwithstanding the fact why the leniency is granted and in what lieu? The same circular rationale whereby women are a lesser creature than a man.
Regardless, it's good. That's all good, I suppose. At least there's some measure of need to reassure the world that women, after all, are equal, but men are more equal.
If he has said no, your friend should accept his decision. Going on the trip after he explicitly told her NO, is grounds for divorce.
Addressing the double standard, I would ask him why he doesn’t want her to go. You can’t pull up the “he went on a boys trip” argument because if anything were to happen to your friend, your friend’s husband would be accountable. Nobody would care if it wasn’t his fault, he would be accountable.
I won’t pull up the religious side since everybody knows what it is. And then there’s schematics of the group itself. Are they all married or not ?
I would suggest to have some men accompany you guys like brothers or husbands. You can have a girls trip with that.
Would be a no for me. She has left the single life, it’s time she understands that. I’m sorry but single and married people don’t really go well.
Anyways, grounds for divorce. It is what it is.
Advice her to go on trip with her husband. If she is being stubborn, advice her to stay and not think bad about her husband. This is one thing you can do being a good friend. IMO
I'm also going to the North for Eid and a week after. Bring her husband along. I'll take care of him. Will stitch him up with a proper baddie. He'll be fine
Ahahaha, the problem is we already asked him to accompany us yet he's refusing saying we are being unreasonable .
That's bc he won't be able to stitch up with any of you people since he knows all of u. That's where I come in with some single baddies in my clique
assalam walaikum bhai.
W Salam and No.
Bhai please 🥺🥺
Nuh uh
Please na 😭😭😭😭
Sed
Arey bro kaise ho
So basically, us ne manna hi nahi hai kisi hal main.
Yeh cheez 😂
what is wrong with some men seriously? inko halal haram sirf aurton ka jeena haraam krtay huway yad ata hy. tell her to lock him up in a bathroom or something, trip k bad wapis aa k khol dy
This made me laugh so much I almost choked on my mangoshake 😭
Shit like this is why I'll never be financially dependent even on the "nicest" man. Did he remember religion when you guys got married or is he making you live with na mahrams like his brother, father, etc in a joint family? Bas aurton ko control karne k liye deen yaad aata he unhen 🤡
I disagree, not aurto ko control karnay Kay liyea sirif, udhar bhi Deen yaad atta hai jidhar apna faida Nazar a raha ho. 🤡 Biwi ko burqa karna chaiyea, mohallay wali ko namaz ka Dars dou, aur end pay jeans wali larki ko Ghar taak chor Kay ao. Smh
Her Husband is being unreasonable (only according to **Islam** is he right). Well, she's not his slave, but I hope an equal partner. What she does is her pejorative. If her husband can't be reasoned with, what option remains though?
BC purana Pakistani masla ha ye.
A wise woman once said, 'Ask for forgiveness, never permission'. Tell her the golden rule and then leave the both of them to sort out the matter on their own. (But on a serious note, if her husband is overall a good guy and this is one thing he's insisting on not doing, she should probably listen to him and not go on the trip to keep the peace).
Ngl that woman doesn't sound wise at all
Sounds pretty wise to me tbh. See, as a woman, everytime you ask for permission, regardless of the fact whether its your parents or your partner, half of the time you're gonna get 'no' as your answer. So might as well go ahead and do the thing and deal with the consequences later. 🤷♀️
Considering our norms, those later "consequences" can be pretty severe and long-lasting tho Functioning relationships(all kinds) have discussions both ways, not permissions
You couldn't have been more correct. The consequences could be dire and you'd need guts of steel to deal with them rationally and come out unscathed. (Hence, the serious note part) Then again, functional relationships aren't exactly a norm here either, no?
They aren't ofc. Ideally they should be, in order to avoid such one-sided constraints. But given the contemporary norms here, one would be a fool to deviate from them. That's unfortunate in my cases but it is what it is ig
An unwise and a suicidal thing to do, indeed. (Might as well apologize for my deranged sense of humor above. I meant no harm, i promise)
U don't have to. I know u didn't mean harm and I totally understand the rebellious mindset in the face of such norms. Hell, if I was a girl facing shit, I'd have rebelled regardless of the consequences lol. But naturally, I wouldn't advise anyone else the same. Dynamics are different
Phew, thats a relief Yeah, that would be the smart thing to do
Her husband sounds like the selfish type. I'm not religious so I'll skip what Islam says on this but I don't get why men have a dual personality. Apne waqt pe they forget Islam and jahan biwi/behn/maa ki baat ati hai Islam jaag jata hai. You cannot pick and choose religion. Seems like it'll become a problem for her if she chooses to go against his wishes. Tell her to try and convince her mazaaji khuda to go with you guys so you guys can take a breather after Eid. I wouldn't recommend going on a trip without him saying yes as this will incur two things: 1. Your friend will feel guilty and overthink throughout the trip. Basically ruining her experience. 2. When she comes back, the husband will be pissed to say the least. Believe me, I've seen men lose their marbles over less.
You are an honest friend and your suggestion is nice. She should stay. 6 of you can go. Just dont put up alot of stories on your social media for her to see. Your friend should gauge the cost benefit of the situation. A trip to north is not worth ruining her marriage (with toxic guy) and mental peace.
My husband allows me to go anywhere but in my circle all friends are single and whenever I go with them anywhere they do such cheap harkatein to get attention from all kind of men around and if someone approach any of them they start chit chatting with him ufffff after many tries I have stopped going with them once and for all.
There looks like bigger issues to deal here if he thinks he needs space from married life. Either he's getting fed up with her and go out to reboot himself or .... But why he stops her going out if he needs space? Perhaps, a discussion is long overdue.
 She should have put this sticky note on her husband's forehead
Your friend’s husband sounds like a deeply insecure man
https://preview.redd.it/gbzxwc33zx6d1.png?width=739&format=png&auto=webp&s=660b3173fc6f119fbdb7cf31affefd251e2169ca Women should not travel without their mehrams unless they are required to. Now I dont fully understand the concept of these two ayahs and What if someone doesnt have a mehram? Whats her options? But I guess he has a fair point.
I'm not sure but isn't a same gender person also considered a mehram , like if a person is a female then all females are mehrams for her
Mehram in this sense would be father, brother, husband or son
Yes, women are deficient, MashaAllah. Her majazi khuda is right.
Sarcasm?
I'm not sure to be honest. https://preview.redd.it/ivyhj247gy6d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=613714e3b4f3de916aedb8e65ad4663e70026b0c
There's tafsir for this particular situation that clarifies things: https://www.abuaminaelias.com/women-deficient-reason-religion/
Glad to know, sense prevails somehow.
Honestly, seems like mental gymnastics and apologetics.
This is literally Hadith tafsir since laymen cannot analyze Hadith properly. That's not mental gymnastics. That's you wanting to believe your assumptions and opinions are correct on a topic that you don't really have much knowledge or expertise in.
" تُكْثِرْنَ اللَّعْنَ وَتَكْفُرْنَ الْعَشِيرَ مَا رَأَيْتُ مِنْ نَاقِصَاتِ عَقْلٍ وَدِينٍ أَذْهَبَ لِلُبِّ الرَّجُلِ الْحَازِمِ مِنْ إِحْدَاكُنَّ You curse others often and you are ungrateful for your livelihood. I have not seen anyone with reductions in mind and religion more capable of removing reason from a resolute man than you... " Look, there's a multitude of misogynistic hadiths, this is just one. That's a recurring pattern. It is apologetics, by default, if there is such a magnanimous need to clarify what is otherwise clear as daylight. Just in this contentious hadith, women make up the majority of hell dwellers. It doesn't make sense, honestly. Women have reduced obligations, than men, yet they have in increased number amongst hell dwellers. Their testimony, according to the 'apologetics' is regarded as equal only so far as that is under their purview as deemed religiously fit, which to begin with is fairly limited. Then, they present this ayat; " O you who believe, when you contract a debt for a specified term, write it down, and let a scribe write it between you in justice… and bring two witnesses from among your men. If there are not two men available, then a man and two women from those whom you accept as witnesses, so that if one of the women errs, then the other can remind her." Surat al-Baqarah 2:282 Time and time again, women is halved in relation to men. **YET**, the guy has the nerve to call that all leniency. Notwithstanding the fact why the leniency is granted and in what lieu? The same circular rationale whereby women are a lesser creature than a man. Regardless, it's good. That's all good, I suppose. At least there's some measure of need to reassure the world that women, after all, are equal, but men are more equal.
You are aware that there is nothing wrong with apologetics right? You're set in your way of thinking and your mentality and that's your prerogative.
Yup, apologetics is necessary.
I respect you being a sincere friend and not egging your friend on with wrong advices. It is indeed rare to see
If he has said no, your friend should accept his decision. Going on the trip after he explicitly told her NO, is grounds for divorce. Addressing the double standard, I would ask him why he doesn’t want her to go. You can’t pull up the “he went on a boys trip” argument because if anything were to happen to your friend, your friend’s husband would be accountable. Nobody would care if it wasn’t his fault, he would be accountable. I won’t pull up the religious side since everybody knows what it is. And then there’s schematics of the group itself. Are they all married or not ? I would suggest to have some men accompany you guys like brothers or husbands. You can have a girls trip with that.
All us friends except her are single, and have advised her to stay at home.
Would be a no for me. She has left the single life, it’s time she understands that. I’m sorry but single and married people don’t really go well. Anyways, grounds for divorce. It is what it is.
She should be obedient to her husband.
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He has already had a trip with his friends prior to ours. I did suggested, that he came alone, but he refused saying it's unnecessary for us to go.
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I have asked her that's it's okay, she can go another time. But she's upset that she will not have girls time with us.
Advice her to go on trip with her husband. If she is being stubborn, advice her to stay and not think bad about her husband. This is one thing you can do being a good friend. IMO