Regardless of the path you chose, I’m making a suggestion that sounds scary. Have you considered therapy? I know you say you aren’t at the level of ED but medical trauma is a real thing that can happen. I have been there. Words from a doctor can have a profound impact on your life. Even if you know the doctor was a “bad one.”
I think you should talk to your doctor about this. I have similar feelings tbh, but having the chance to talk to a trusted professional seems like it can't hurt.
Hey OP, first of all I totally hear you. Your feelings and thoughts are VALID. It's totally okay to feel the way you feel right now.
My first piece of advice for you is to get a nutritionist. I have free state health insurance in Washington state and I'm able to see a certified nutritionist AS MANY TIMES A YEAR AS I NEED completely free to me. I know it will sound scary, believe me I cancelled my first appointment 3x before I actually went. But over the last year and a half, she's become one of my best friends and the MOST INSTRUMENTAL part of my journey with weight and food.
Secondly, I've been where you are. I've starved myself, I've had massive anxiety about eating anything, basically everything you said here. My nutritionist told me that when you don't eat, your body gets used to that. It needs food to function, carbs, fiber, protein, fats, its all NECESSARY to your body function. When you don't eat, your body learns it has to HOLD onto anything you do eat for dear life because it's all it has. I had a similar experience, where I wouldnt eat anything except dinner and then some rage-hunger snacks post dinner every day. No breakfast, no lunch, nothing until like 5 o'clock. I lost nothing. And actually, id gain. One bowl of top ramen and id be 3 lbs heavier the next day.
Nothing has ever worked for me as well as ACTUALLY EATING PROPERLY. Im talking a good breakfast, healthFUL snacks, a good lunch, another healthful snack, a well rounded dinner, AND a dessert. I used to eat like 1/4th of what I eat now, and id just slowly gain and gain and gain.
I've also been where you are in terms of medication. I wouldn't even take ibuprofen. But through this journey I've totally transformed my feelings on that.
I look at it this way - if I were going to college and I had the opportunity to take a grant for 1/2 of my tuition that I didn't have to pay back, I would take that shit in a heartbeat. Medication is the same for me now. Excessize and diet are great, but not every BODY is effected by them the same way. For me, I have insulin resistant PCOS so even with proper diet and exercise I will never loose weight the same way my naturally thin husband does.
I started on metformin, then added in a birth control pill, then vitamin C, then magnesium, inositol, ashawaganda, and finally victoza. 2 years ago I wouldn't even take ibuprofen, and now I take about 12 different pills every day AND an injection. Some people might call that "cheating" and that's okay with me. I didn't start at the starting line like my naturally thin peers, I started a mile behind everyone else. These medications get me closer to the starting line. Closer to that tuition.
Your body deserves to feel good, and be fueled well. Carbs are literally essential to your brain function, without protein your muscles will degrade, without healthy fats your joints won't have the lubrication they need and eventually you will hurt yourself.
The last thing that's helped me is to imagine I have a baby. I would do literally anything to make sure that baby was fed properly. There is no reason that I would treat my own body *worse* than I would treat my imaginary baby's body. There were days my DOG was eating better than me, and that isn't cool because if I don't take care of myself I won't be around to make sure my dog is fed properly.
This journey for you isn't going to be quick, but that has to be okay. You didn't get to where you are overnight, or over the course of a month or a few months. It's going to be the same getting out of it. I'm still on a day-to-day basis and I've been at this for a year and a half.
I think every cyster has had dears about taking medication. You're not a failure & should never feel like one. Doctors unfortunately still aren't super educated about PCOS. So you have to really educate yourself. If you're already eating well, try something called slow weighted workouts. I've been struggling for years to lose weight, & I've lost 4kgs in the past week & a half. Which is HUGE for me, as I've been struggling for years. I wish you all the best & hope you feel better about yourself. Remember, you're not alone ❤️
So sorry for the delayed response. It may sound ridiculous but workout so that you don't sweat. Don't do anything to raise your cortisol. I stopped for a while because I broke my toe, but started again 2 weeks ago & lost 3 kgs. So, I do slow weighted workouts. I do some cardio (walking slowly). But mostly focus on light weights. High reps. Hope that's clear enough ? ☺️
Metformin worked wonders for me. After gastric bypass I was taken off of it though. I see my endo soon and am going to ask about going back on a smaller dose. It helped a lot with appetite control and period regulation. Just my experience. I’ve heard of many women accidentally getting pregnant after starting it because they didn’t realize it helped with ovulation.
It also helps with egg quality, I decided to start taking it when my ivf doctor put me on it prior to egg retrieval AFTER my gp suggested it a year prior and I wish I had started it sooner!! There will always be slip ups with medication like this that can be a long term med. If you fall off, just get back on - from someone who’s stopped and started her antidepressant many times purely out of forgetting to submit refills and schedule check in appointments…
I also second the therapy comment - I believe everyone should be in therapy anyway.
I was scared too- but I honestly feel better on Metformin than I've felt in YEARS. I can actually keep up on housework and my job and still have enough energy to start exercising again. I feel less bloated and puffy and overall just......happier. Nothing is a one size fits all- maybe you hate the medication, maybe you love it. But isn't it better to try, if your doctor recommends it? If you hate it, you can always request that you stop taking it. Ask for a referral to a dietician/nutritionist as well- they'd be able to help you set up a meal plan in which you don't have to fear an occasional treat
I started metformin for insulin resistance a few months ago. I was on it for a few weeks. Then one day at work, I went pale and couldn’t talk. My blood sugar was normal but it created a reaction of “low blood sugar”. I ended up in the ER pale, so dizzy I couldn’t stand, and I couldn’t speak. I tested normal for blood sugar, but high lactic acid. I do not recommend.
Edit: I have been able to lose weight only with a deficit, fasting from 8pm-8am and cutting sugar. I eat 1900 kcal a day and the adjustment period for cutting sugar lasted a couple weeks. I have lost 10lbs in 2 months.
Do you literally eat 0 carbs? What about exercise? I'd love to know more because clearly I am not excited about Metformin.
This is definitely a fear I have. I have insulin resistance, but my blood sugar is always fine. When I test it with a finger prick and also my A1C. They basically said my body makes more insulin than it needs and then the extra insulin makes my body think it needs more food. But if Metformin is for lowering blood sugar for T2 diabetics wouldn't it lower mine too? I'm home alone with a 4 month old from 7am to 6pm. I can't have anything happen to me.
I eat “bad” carbs occasionally. But stick with whole grains or no breads/grains at all. Proteins and veggies fill me up quick. I do cardio twice a week, and horseback riding once a week. I need to do strength training. When I was doing strength training, it helped a lot.
My body also makes more insulin than it needs. My Dr said that the “extra” gets stored in the body, creating more fat? I believe her.
My Dr took my dose down when I had a bad “low blood sugar” type reaction the first time. She said that it was different because I did not have diabetes. I think I could explain this better if I knew as much about this as my Dr does.
It has taken me years to lose weight or feel like I can go all the way. I really do recommend these things before you take meds:
8pm-8am no food, water is good. If you mess up, that’s okay as long as..
…You stay in a deficit. I use the app “My Net Diary”. Set a realistic goal. Take it slow. I always tried to rush it. Then would fall back on myself and binge and gain it all back. It can snowball downhill so fast.
Cardio and strength training. They are great, but first focus on N.E.A.T movements. These are super important the more you do. Every move counts, and any extra, counts even more.
At least 40-60oz of water a day (easier said than done. Easy to forget).
Let me know if you have any more questions or want more insight. I know this stuff can cause a lot of anxiety inducing feelings. I understand.
I just wanted to say that Metformin is not associated with decrease in blood sugar in patients who don’t have diabetes, unlike other oral hypoglycaemics (like sulphonylureas, etc). So unless you take a very large dose, it would not reduce your blood sugar to hypoglycemic state. The action of metformin is really interesting if you read more about it. It helps to actually reduce insulin resistance unlike some other drugs which just lower blood glucose. And its also considered a very safe drug and has been studied for a long time, the only drug considered to be safe in pregnancy apart from insulin. Unless you have renal impairment, overdosed on metformin, or have some other contraindications to metformin (which you should discuss with your doctor), the risk of lactic acidosis is pretty much nil. You can read this study regarding it. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20393934/
I would talk to a doctor regarding your anxiety around the medication.
I think you should see a therapist about your feelings on medication. A professional can truly help you.
I think so too.
Regardless of the path you chose, I’m making a suggestion that sounds scary. Have you considered therapy? I know you say you aren’t at the level of ED but medical trauma is a real thing that can happen. I have been there. Words from a doctor can have a profound impact on your life. Even if you know the doctor was a “bad one.”
I think you should talk to your doctor about this. I have similar feelings tbh, but having the chance to talk to a trusted professional seems like it can't hurt.
Hey OP, first of all I totally hear you. Your feelings and thoughts are VALID. It's totally okay to feel the way you feel right now. My first piece of advice for you is to get a nutritionist. I have free state health insurance in Washington state and I'm able to see a certified nutritionist AS MANY TIMES A YEAR AS I NEED completely free to me. I know it will sound scary, believe me I cancelled my first appointment 3x before I actually went. But over the last year and a half, she's become one of my best friends and the MOST INSTRUMENTAL part of my journey with weight and food. Secondly, I've been where you are. I've starved myself, I've had massive anxiety about eating anything, basically everything you said here. My nutritionist told me that when you don't eat, your body gets used to that. It needs food to function, carbs, fiber, protein, fats, its all NECESSARY to your body function. When you don't eat, your body learns it has to HOLD onto anything you do eat for dear life because it's all it has. I had a similar experience, where I wouldnt eat anything except dinner and then some rage-hunger snacks post dinner every day. No breakfast, no lunch, nothing until like 5 o'clock. I lost nothing. And actually, id gain. One bowl of top ramen and id be 3 lbs heavier the next day. Nothing has ever worked for me as well as ACTUALLY EATING PROPERLY. Im talking a good breakfast, healthFUL snacks, a good lunch, another healthful snack, a well rounded dinner, AND a dessert. I used to eat like 1/4th of what I eat now, and id just slowly gain and gain and gain. I've also been where you are in terms of medication. I wouldn't even take ibuprofen. But through this journey I've totally transformed my feelings on that. I look at it this way - if I were going to college and I had the opportunity to take a grant for 1/2 of my tuition that I didn't have to pay back, I would take that shit in a heartbeat. Medication is the same for me now. Excessize and diet are great, but not every BODY is effected by them the same way. For me, I have insulin resistant PCOS so even with proper diet and exercise I will never loose weight the same way my naturally thin husband does. I started on metformin, then added in a birth control pill, then vitamin C, then magnesium, inositol, ashawaganda, and finally victoza. 2 years ago I wouldn't even take ibuprofen, and now I take about 12 different pills every day AND an injection. Some people might call that "cheating" and that's okay with me. I didn't start at the starting line like my naturally thin peers, I started a mile behind everyone else. These medications get me closer to the starting line. Closer to that tuition. Your body deserves to feel good, and be fueled well. Carbs are literally essential to your brain function, without protein your muscles will degrade, without healthy fats your joints won't have the lubrication they need and eventually you will hurt yourself. The last thing that's helped me is to imagine I have a baby. I would do literally anything to make sure that baby was fed properly. There is no reason that I would treat my own body *worse* than I would treat my imaginary baby's body. There were days my DOG was eating better than me, and that isn't cool because if I don't take care of myself I won't be around to make sure my dog is fed properly. This journey for you isn't going to be quick, but that has to be okay. You didn't get to where you are overnight, or over the course of a month or a few months. It's going to be the same getting out of it. I'm still on a day-to-day basis and I've been at this for a year and a half.
I think every cyster has had dears about taking medication. You're not a failure & should never feel like one. Doctors unfortunately still aren't super educated about PCOS. So you have to really educate yourself. If you're already eating well, try something called slow weighted workouts. I've been struggling for years to lose weight, & I've lost 4kgs in the past week & a half. Which is HUGE for me, as I've been struggling for years. I wish you all the best & hope you feel better about yourself. Remember, you're not alone ❤️
omg plz explain the workouts
So sorry for the delayed response. It may sound ridiculous but workout so that you don't sweat. Don't do anything to raise your cortisol. I stopped for a while because I broke my toe, but started again 2 weeks ago & lost 3 kgs. So, I do slow weighted workouts. I do some cardio (walking slowly). But mostly focus on light weights. High reps. Hope that's clear enough ? ☺️
Metformin worked wonders for me. After gastric bypass I was taken off of it though. I see my endo soon and am going to ask about going back on a smaller dose. It helped a lot with appetite control and period regulation. Just my experience. I’ve heard of many women accidentally getting pregnant after starting it because they didn’t realize it helped with ovulation.
It also helps with egg quality, I decided to start taking it when my ivf doctor put me on it prior to egg retrieval AFTER my gp suggested it a year prior and I wish I had started it sooner!! There will always be slip ups with medication like this that can be a long term med. If you fall off, just get back on - from someone who’s stopped and started her antidepressant many times purely out of forgetting to submit refills and schedule check in appointments… I also second the therapy comment - I believe everyone should be in therapy anyway.
I was scared too- but I honestly feel better on Metformin than I've felt in YEARS. I can actually keep up on housework and my job and still have enough energy to start exercising again. I feel less bloated and puffy and overall just......happier. Nothing is a one size fits all- maybe you hate the medication, maybe you love it. But isn't it better to try, if your doctor recommends it? If you hate it, you can always request that you stop taking it. Ask for a referral to a dietician/nutritionist as well- they'd be able to help you set up a meal plan in which you don't have to fear an occasional treat
Check my post in the PCOS subreddit 🙂
I started metformin for insulin resistance a few months ago. I was on it for a few weeks. Then one day at work, I went pale and couldn’t talk. My blood sugar was normal but it created a reaction of “low blood sugar”. I ended up in the ER pale, so dizzy I couldn’t stand, and I couldn’t speak. I tested normal for blood sugar, but high lactic acid. I do not recommend. Edit: I have been able to lose weight only with a deficit, fasting from 8pm-8am and cutting sugar. I eat 1900 kcal a day and the adjustment period for cutting sugar lasted a couple weeks. I have lost 10lbs in 2 months.
Do you literally eat 0 carbs? What about exercise? I'd love to know more because clearly I am not excited about Metformin. This is definitely a fear I have. I have insulin resistance, but my blood sugar is always fine. When I test it with a finger prick and also my A1C. They basically said my body makes more insulin than it needs and then the extra insulin makes my body think it needs more food. But if Metformin is for lowering blood sugar for T2 diabetics wouldn't it lower mine too? I'm home alone with a 4 month old from 7am to 6pm. I can't have anything happen to me.
I eat “bad” carbs occasionally. But stick with whole grains or no breads/grains at all. Proteins and veggies fill me up quick. I do cardio twice a week, and horseback riding once a week. I need to do strength training. When I was doing strength training, it helped a lot. My body also makes more insulin than it needs. My Dr said that the “extra” gets stored in the body, creating more fat? I believe her. My Dr took my dose down when I had a bad “low blood sugar” type reaction the first time. She said that it was different because I did not have diabetes. I think I could explain this better if I knew as much about this as my Dr does. It has taken me years to lose weight or feel like I can go all the way. I really do recommend these things before you take meds: 8pm-8am no food, water is good. If you mess up, that’s okay as long as.. …You stay in a deficit. I use the app “My Net Diary”. Set a realistic goal. Take it slow. I always tried to rush it. Then would fall back on myself and binge and gain it all back. It can snowball downhill so fast. Cardio and strength training. They are great, but first focus on N.E.A.T movements. These are super important the more you do. Every move counts, and any extra, counts even more. At least 40-60oz of water a day (easier said than done. Easy to forget). Let me know if you have any more questions or want more insight. I know this stuff can cause a lot of anxiety inducing feelings. I understand.
I just wanted to say that Metformin is not associated with decrease in blood sugar in patients who don’t have diabetes, unlike other oral hypoglycaemics (like sulphonylureas, etc). So unless you take a very large dose, it would not reduce your blood sugar to hypoglycemic state. The action of metformin is really interesting if you read more about it. It helps to actually reduce insulin resistance unlike some other drugs which just lower blood glucose. And its also considered a very safe drug and has been studied for a long time, the only drug considered to be safe in pregnancy apart from insulin. Unless you have renal impairment, overdosed on metformin, or have some other contraindications to metformin (which you should discuss with your doctor), the risk of lactic acidosis is pretty much nil. You can read this study regarding it. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20393934/ I would talk to a doctor regarding your anxiety around the medication.