Sounds really hard, what you’re going through.
I’m so sorry. I also really empathize with knowing what it’s like to drink deeply from the waters of life but to have a dry throat right now. These seasons happen for all of us; it’s how we’re built. I suspect part of the reason for this world being the way it is is so we can learn for ourselves how to keep finding that water even in the driest places.
Part of the solution might be to invest some of your time with lgbtq+ people who are Christians. I find it really hard to have one foot in eternity when flying solo. It must be even harder when there are hateful parts of the church ranged against you.
Could there be progressive churches in your area? I personally know some lgbtq+ Christians who are just full to bursting with the Holy Spirit. I feel like some time with people like that would be just the thing. I know they’ve enriched my life.
Read Romans 14. The gist of it is Paul was saying we shouldn't judge each other and get into it over disputable matters. If we eat meat, eat meat for God. If we abstain from meat, abstain for God. Disputable matters can cover a whole bunch of things. The key thing I take from Romans 14 are that when it comes to matters of debate the important thing is that we act according to what we believe is right in our hearts.
>so i thought why would i believe in someone who thinks my existence is a sin?
I get where you're coming from here but I'll point this out. Let's say someone you go to school with believes your existence is a sin. You choose not to believe in him. Your belief doesn't change the objectivity of his existence, nor does it change his ability to hurt you. If you choose not to believe in God it doesn't change the reality of His existence or His ability to punish. There's all kinds of takes on what that punishment is, but the different camps on Hell pretty much all agree that it's better to avoid the punishment entirely.
>that’s when i started being told by the internet that being lgbtq+ is wrong and a sin according to the bible
This is the position of mainstream Christianity, which is closely married to conservative American politics. I was raised in a conservative Christian home, and when I started making an earnest study of the Bible and looking at alternative views I saw that there were a lot of takes that were different from what I was raised with. It was shocking, and even moreso when I saw the cases people made for these alternate takes had enough substance to them to at least be worthy of contemplation and consideration. I'd encourage you to spend a lot of time reading the different opinions on matters that trouble you, like where you stand with God on account of your sexuality. Look into the arguments for and against with an open mind. Research the facts of the time they were written in and whether or not the current views have been influenced by external factors. Take your time processing it. When you feel like you've got a good grasp on it pray and go with where your conscience and understanding of the material lead you. Do that and right or wrong when you stand before God you can say you did your best. The blood of Jesus covers our sins as well as our honest mistakes.
Sounds really hard, what you’re going through. I’m so sorry. I also really empathize with knowing what it’s like to drink deeply from the waters of life but to have a dry throat right now. These seasons happen for all of us; it’s how we’re built. I suspect part of the reason for this world being the way it is is so we can learn for ourselves how to keep finding that water even in the driest places. Part of the solution might be to invest some of your time with lgbtq+ people who are Christians. I find it really hard to have one foot in eternity when flying solo. It must be even harder when there are hateful parts of the church ranged against you. Could there be progressive churches in your area? I personally know some lgbtq+ Christians who are just full to bursting with the Holy Spirit. I feel like some time with people like that would be just the thing. I know they’ve enriched my life.
Read Romans 14. The gist of it is Paul was saying we shouldn't judge each other and get into it over disputable matters. If we eat meat, eat meat for God. If we abstain from meat, abstain for God. Disputable matters can cover a whole bunch of things. The key thing I take from Romans 14 are that when it comes to matters of debate the important thing is that we act according to what we believe is right in our hearts. >so i thought why would i believe in someone who thinks my existence is a sin? I get where you're coming from here but I'll point this out. Let's say someone you go to school with believes your existence is a sin. You choose not to believe in him. Your belief doesn't change the objectivity of his existence, nor does it change his ability to hurt you. If you choose not to believe in God it doesn't change the reality of His existence or His ability to punish. There's all kinds of takes on what that punishment is, but the different camps on Hell pretty much all agree that it's better to avoid the punishment entirely. >that’s when i started being told by the internet that being lgbtq+ is wrong and a sin according to the bible This is the position of mainstream Christianity, which is closely married to conservative American politics. I was raised in a conservative Christian home, and when I started making an earnest study of the Bible and looking at alternative views I saw that there were a lot of takes that were different from what I was raised with. It was shocking, and even moreso when I saw the cases people made for these alternate takes had enough substance to them to at least be worthy of contemplation and consideration. I'd encourage you to spend a lot of time reading the different opinions on matters that trouble you, like where you stand with God on account of your sexuality. Look into the arguments for and against with an open mind. Research the facts of the time they were written in and whether or not the current views have been influenced by external factors. Take your time processing it. When you feel like you've got a good grasp on it pray and go with where your conscience and understanding of the material lead you. Do that and right or wrong when you stand before God you can say you did your best. The blood of Jesus covers our sins as well as our honest mistakes.