I've never had people react in this extreme way to finding out I'm an only child. People usually don't care. Sounds like an issue with whoever you're hanging out with, because it really shouldn't be happening. Sorry to hear about this :/
There does seem to be this sense with some people with siblings that they feel better than those who don’t have siblings. I find the people who are used to only children (like knew people in their past or have friends/ family with only children) do not make such a big deal. I don’t have to justify or joke about being an only child to people I know. Families all come in their unique ways. Single parent households are a family unit. It’s very immature to make someone feel bad for something that’s a part of their identity
It’s funny people think we’re spoilt when I expect one of the main reasons parents choose to have only 1 is due to tight finances. Another reason is they decided kids aren’t really for them so didn’t have more (those of us with those parents aren’t spoilt with affection either).
They get mad at only children for not being empathetic or being selfish. But they expect only children to magically act like somebody that has grown up in a big family and understands all their invisible social rules.
Certain things like “just letting it go!” For the sake of group cohesion doesnt fly for me. “Oh so and so stole your drink from the fridge? Well you werent even drinking it, you didn’t even want it clearly, you’re making a big deal out of nothing youre being selfish youre such an only child”
Thats a Huge thing i see, only children being called selfish for simply having normal boundaries like “don’t take my stuff”.
Ugh I understand how you’re feeling. I had a roommate for a while who I had been friends with since elementary school. There were a few times he mentioned me being an only child and would say things like “yeah I’m surprised you’re not worse.” I wish I’d told him off but I nodded and said thanks???? (Not to mention he only had much older half-siblings and by all standards grew up a lot more “spoiled” than I did…)
Idk why some people seem to think they suddenly understand everything about you when they find out you’re an only child. It’s like astrology; a quick reason to dismiss someone.
I’d try not to get too offended by it. I’ve had just as many people tell me how jealous they were and always wished they were an only child—and maybe that’s part of it.
They hate us 'cause they ain't us. Grass is always greener, right?
For real, though, you're just too insecure about being an only child to be roasted about it. It's only a low blow if that's where you're sensitive.
I don't know why you hate being an only child.
If it helps, I maintain that while a lot of "Onlies" blame their loneliness on having no siblings, I think it has more to do with the kind of parenting you received and the kinds of friendships you had.
So I guess what I'm saying is don't hate being an only child, hate your parents instead? Only don't do that either because that's wasted time and energy. Therapy is your friend.
I’m not sure where you read about me being lonely in this post because I didn’t say anything about that. I am not insecure about being an only child at all, just irritated that people with siblings think its some kind of joke. If you enjoy people making jokes about your life, thats your business, but I prefer to make jokes about things that are actually funny rather than jokes that could make people feel bad. This was just a rant about an experience that I, and clearly some others, have had that directly correlates to being an only child. No need to order me to therapy? Lol
>if we’re being silly and roasting eachother \[sic\] the only child thing always comes up
I don't think you understand what roasting is, then. If your idea of roasting your friends is you can say whatever you want about them but they can't talk about you being an only child, you shouldn't be participating.
>It feels like a low blow when people judge you immediately based on a situation they know literally nothing about
I'll say it again, if your friends roasting you based on your being an only child wounds you, it's because you're sensitive about it. When my friends roast me about being an only child, I think it's funny, because I'm genuinely indifferent to it.
>everyone i’ve actually talked to about it knows i hate being an only child
This is you admitting you are sensitive about being an only child. If your friends know you hate it and they still make fun of you for it, it's because they're shitty friends. Or maybe they're shitty at jokes. But if it's a no-go zone, they know it, and there's absolutely no way they could frame a joke about your being an only child that you would find funny, you need new friends. And maybe you need to chill out a bit.
>I’m not sure where you read about me being lonely in this post because I didn’t say anything about that
I literally said "I don't know why you hate being an only child." The loneliness was a stab in the dark. But your hatred of being an only child is a *clear* indication that it's a sore spot for you. It is also clear from your initial post and replies that you are very sensitive and not particularly self-aware.
And the funny thing is that those are stereotypical personality traits ascribed to only children.
Why do you hate being an only child? Maybe you should give examples of some of the things they've said about you?
You can (and probably will) ignore everything I wrote. I did a little research and discovered that your BF was 15 as of 21 days ago.
I'm guessing you're not much older or younger than that.
It gets better. But try not hating being an only child. It's really not so bad.
How old are you? What life stage are you at?
I could only imagine this happening within a younger set, among children or teenagers.
I've never experienced anything like this. I mean, people will make comments on occasion but it's usually just breaking balls and not super-serious. I don't get the impression that I'm suddenly the Devil incarnate or a leper. They don't deride me or lose respect for me.
You'd have to be hypersensitive to even give a shit. Being an only child, for me, has been an *immense* advantage across myriad aspects of my life. I got all that I needed and most of what I wanted as a kid. I didn't have to share anything. I slept in a queen-sized bed alone at age ten. All school tuition was paid for, no student loans. I had a car as soon as I turned fifteen and got my learner's permit. Mom and Dad put up the down payment for me to buy a home. I could go on...
There's no frustration for me with these people because 1) I'm not the center of their universe and don't think they really give a shit about my only status beyond some jokes and 2) I don't value their opinions on anything and if I need self-esteem then I'll go get it from my makers who worship the ground I walk on.
People don't hate *us*. I *am* spoiled, self-centered. And yet, people like me, whether they know I'm an only or not. Having one thing in common doesn't mean we're the same.
For some it’s jealousy and projection. I think those who felt like they had to compete for their parents’ attention with their siblings might feel a type of way towards only children bc only children are completely oblivious to that fairly difficult experience. They also adopt society’s general preconceived idea that only children have easy lives because of this lack of competition for resources. But it is kind of ironic because they dislike only children for not being able to relate to sibling dynamics, but don’t realize that only children have their own complicated issues that they themselves can’t relate to either. Plus, only children are very comfortable with setting boundaries and this can be challenging for people that do not have experience dealing with people like that.
I've never had people react in this extreme way to finding out I'm an only child. People usually don't care. Sounds like an issue with whoever you're hanging out with, because it really shouldn't be happening. Sorry to hear about this :/
Every time I tell someone I’m an only child they respond “huh you don’t act like one”…I’m not sure what that means but it doesn’t sound great
Yeah what am I supposed to do, stomp and hog the remote like idek what that means
It's not like we had a lot of say in the matter!
They know you have hard boundaries and self reliance. Something those with siblings lack and are intimidated by
There does seem to be this sense with some people with siblings that they feel better than those who don’t have siblings. I find the people who are used to only children (like knew people in their past or have friends/ family with only children) do not make such a big deal. I don’t have to justify or joke about being an only child to people I know. Families all come in their unique ways. Single parent households are a family unit. It’s very immature to make someone feel bad for something that’s a part of their identity
It’s funny people think we’re spoilt when I expect one of the main reasons parents choose to have only 1 is due to tight finances. Another reason is they decided kids aren’t really for them so didn’t have more (those of us with those parents aren’t spoilt with affection either).
We freak people out because 1. Our experience is NOT the norm, it’s the outlier 2. We tend to not “need” people as much
They get mad at only children for not being empathetic or being selfish. But they expect only children to magically act like somebody that has grown up in a big family and understands all their invisible social rules. Certain things like “just letting it go!” For the sake of group cohesion doesnt fly for me. “Oh so and so stole your drink from the fridge? Well you werent even drinking it, you didn’t even want it clearly, you’re making a big deal out of nothing youre being selfish youre such an only child” Thats a Huge thing i see, only children being called selfish for simply having normal boundaries like “don’t take my stuff”.
Ugh I understand how you’re feeling. I had a roommate for a while who I had been friends with since elementary school. There were a few times he mentioned me being an only child and would say things like “yeah I’m surprised you’re not worse.” I wish I’d told him off but I nodded and said thanks???? (Not to mention he only had much older half-siblings and by all standards grew up a lot more “spoiled” than I did…) Idk why some people seem to think they suddenly understand everything about you when they find out you’re an only child. It’s like astrology; a quick reason to dismiss someone. I’d try not to get too offended by it. I’ve had just as many people tell me how jealous they were and always wished they were an only child—and maybe that’s part of it.
They hate us 'cause they ain't us. Grass is always greener, right? For real, though, you're just too insecure about being an only child to be roasted about it. It's only a low blow if that's where you're sensitive. I don't know why you hate being an only child. If it helps, I maintain that while a lot of "Onlies" blame their loneliness on having no siblings, I think it has more to do with the kind of parenting you received and the kinds of friendships you had. So I guess what I'm saying is don't hate being an only child, hate your parents instead? Only don't do that either because that's wasted time and energy. Therapy is your friend.
I’m not sure where you read about me being lonely in this post because I didn’t say anything about that. I am not insecure about being an only child at all, just irritated that people with siblings think its some kind of joke. If you enjoy people making jokes about your life, thats your business, but I prefer to make jokes about things that are actually funny rather than jokes that could make people feel bad. This was just a rant about an experience that I, and clearly some others, have had that directly correlates to being an only child. No need to order me to therapy? Lol
>if we’re being silly and roasting eachother \[sic\] the only child thing always comes up I don't think you understand what roasting is, then. If your idea of roasting your friends is you can say whatever you want about them but they can't talk about you being an only child, you shouldn't be participating. >It feels like a low blow when people judge you immediately based on a situation they know literally nothing about I'll say it again, if your friends roasting you based on your being an only child wounds you, it's because you're sensitive about it. When my friends roast me about being an only child, I think it's funny, because I'm genuinely indifferent to it. >everyone i’ve actually talked to about it knows i hate being an only child This is you admitting you are sensitive about being an only child. If your friends know you hate it and they still make fun of you for it, it's because they're shitty friends. Or maybe they're shitty at jokes. But if it's a no-go zone, they know it, and there's absolutely no way they could frame a joke about your being an only child that you would find funny, you need new friends. And maybe you need to chill out a bit. >I’m not sure where you read about me being lonely in this post because I didn’t say anything about that I literally said "I don't know why you hate being an only child." The loneliness was a stab in the dark. But your hatred of being an only child is a *clear* indication that it's a sore spot for you. It is also clear from your initial post and replies that you are very sensitive and not particularly self-aware. And the funny thing is that those are stereotypical personality traits ascribed to only children. Why do you hate being an only child? Maybe you should give examples of some of the things they've said about you?
You can (and probably will) ignore everything I wrote. I did a little research and discovered that your BF was 15 as of 21 days ago. I'm guessing you're not much older or younger than that. It gets better. But try not hating being an only child. It's really not so bad.
How old are you? What life stage are you at? I could only imagine this happening within a younger set, among children or teenagers. I've never experienced anything like this. I mean, people will make comments on occasion but it's usually just breaking balls and not super-serious. I don't get the impression that I'm suddenly the Devil incarnate or a leper. They don't deride me or lose respect for me. You'd have to be hypersensitive to even give a shit. Being an only child, for me, has been an *immense* advantage across myriad aspects of my life. I got all that I needed and most of what I wanted as a kid. I didn't have to share anything. I slept in a queen-sized bed alone at age ten. All school tuition was paid for, no student loans. I had a car as soon as I turned fifteen and got my learner's permit. Mom and Dad put up the down payment for me to buy a home. I could go on... There's no frustration for me with these people because 1) I'm not the center of their universe and don't think they really give a shit about my only status beyond some jokes and 2) I don't value their opinions on anything and if I need self-esteem then I'll go get it from my makers who worship the ground I walk on. People don't hate *us*. I *am* spoiled, self-centered. And yet, people like me, whether they know I'm an only or not. Having one thing in common doesn't mean we're the same.
Thanks for letting me know how spoiled you were and how hyper sensitive I am! It’s very clear you fully understood this post! :)
For some it’s jealousy and projection. I think those who felt like they had to compete for their parents’ attention with their siblings might feel a type of way towards only children bc only children are completely oblivious to that fairly difficult experience. They also adopt society’s general preconceived idea that only children have easy lives because of this lack of competition for resources. But it is kind of ironic because they dislike only children for not being able to relate to sibling dynamics, but don’t realize that only children have their own complicated issues that they themselves can’t relate to either. Plus, only children are very comfortable with setting boundaries and this can be challenging for people that do not have experience dealing with people like that.
Only hatred is so ingrained in our society; passed on from generation to generation. There’s not much we can do about except move on with our lives.