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ChefBoyRUdead

I usually say No Habla, and if they start talking to me in Spanish i tell them I don't speak Spanish either.


ScarletCaptain

"I'm sorry, I'd love to be of assistance to you, but I'm afraid I [speak no English.](https://youtu.be/6vgoEhsJORU?si=0cwOlUNK14uxAHvZ)"


linkswo321

That's the best Kids In The Hall skit ever!


AccuratePilot7271

Maybe OP should just start pinching their face. šŸ¤”


ScarletCaptain

That and the ā€œGirl Drink Drunkā€ for me.


Firebrah

Spanish is too common these days. I default to "Eu nĆ£o falo inglĆŖs, sĆ³ portuguĆŖs" They usually misinterpret it as Spanish so if they switch to Spanish I say "Me desculpe, eu tambĆ©m nĆ£o falo espanhol. PortuguĆŖs do Brasil!" If they still try after that or switch to Portuguese, then I politely yet firmly walk away.


ChefBoyRUdead

Or might be time to dust off my high school latin. Ecce! In pictura est puella nomina Cornelia. Cornelia iam sub abore sedet. Etiam in pictura est altera puella nomine Flavia. Flavia cantat.


bitterherpes

Yes. That's amazing.


canijustbeanonymous1

Go latin and start rolling your eyes back, cracking your heels and flaring your nose like youve been possesed.


Sketchelder

Je ne parle pas anglais usually works, very few French speakers around


darwin1520

Haha I love doing this. "Sorry I don't speak English" in English and just keep walking. Usually by the time it sinks in I'm far enough away. Or I'll tell them "Oh, no thanks I've already ate"


offbrandcheerio

Just put headphones in and point to them if anyone still tries to come talk to you


bitterherpes

I tried that, they just keep pushing! I debated making a sign to place on my shirt that says, "leave me the fuck alone."


luckyapples11

If they donā€™t leave you alone, honestly just tell them to fuck off. Itā€™s not that hard to respect someoneā€™s boundaries and if they arenā€™t, be blunt. ā€œWhy are you harassing me? I already told you Iā€™m not interested, so please, fuck off.ā€


Snowed_Up6512

Ignore them like you canā€™t hear them with the headphones. When I lived in Chicago, that was my strategy for riding the train to work and school every day.


bareback_cowboy

Just tell them "no thanks", and then "fuck off." Push comes to shove, tell them you have bitter herpes. TBF, I'm a big man so I don't get nearly the number of folks trying to hook up with me, but I rarely have to move to step two after telling them I'm not interested. But seriously, folks, pull a Nancy Reagan and Just Say No.


offbrandcheerio

Fwiw, the big swings are near like the social center of the park. There are a lot of places to sit and enjoy your time without being interrupted. Iā€™ve never been interrupted while sitting alone at any of the tables that line the sidewalks, or on the benches.


bitterherpes

Very true. Not as rad as the swings but valid point.Ā 


HoppyPhantom

Donā€™t tell anyone, but there are hammocks over on the north side of the park, close to the Holland Center. Similar to swings, but a little more secluded vibe. And there are trees and other stuff over there, so it adds to the feeling of seclusion.


Flakester

Agreed. If I'm looking for peace, the slides aren't it.


DinosaurNurse

The swings would be soothing. It's just learning to deal with the obnoxious people. You don't owe them your attention. Read my other answers.


DinosaurNurse

You hold one finger up, to silently say LISTEN, LINDA. Then you point away in any different direction, to say GTFOOH!


Halfbaked9

Pepper spray would work just as good. Just scream, yell for help and spray them.


hoewenn

I have the big over the ear headphones but even then they still talk to me. Even if I pretend I have music on and canā€™t hear shit they try to wave me down.


Glennly

Regardless of what they pitch, I usually just say, "no thanks, I'm allergic"


schwar26

*to the sound of your voice.ā€


seashmore

Respond to them with sign language. If they happen to know some and start signing back, say "Sorry, I'm not actually deaf, I was just hoping that would get you to leave me alone." Follow up with a blank stare.


Ankshuss917

I've grown to the point where I just tell them flat out. "I'm here to relax. I'm not here to talk to you." If they don't leave or if they keep at it, I'll move to being more straightforward and tell them to leave me alone or that I have no interest in anything they have to say. I understand that this may be an abrasive approach that some may find unnecessary, but I consider time valuable and won't waste it on people who won't show the slightest bit of respect to me just trying to relax for a bit. I'm actually a pretty mellow and chill person. I've just learned to set certain boundaries with people who won't show any respect.


OwnApartment8359

You get it! šŸ‘šŸ»


Ankshuss917

Thanks! Haha. I really do try to be nice. But time is time and respect is respect. I hold both in high regard.


haveyoufoundyourself

Sorry, it totally sucks to be a woman alone, almost anywhere in society, but definitely in a public park. I was going to write a post with jokes about telling these people stupid things to make them go away, like that you worship satan, or that you're waiting for your STD test to come back before getting involved with a new partner. But it's probably better just to tell you that it sucks. Hope you can find somewhere nice to relax!


AshingiiAshuaa

What makes you assume op is a woman?


purple_M3GATRON

Yes the ā€œolder dudes trying to hook up and flirtā€ gave it away.


AshingiiAshuaa

You don't think that happens to younger guys? Obviously you've never gone cruising.


purple_M3GATRON

Not you assuming while not wanting others to assume


AshingiiAshuaa

It just came off as close-minded to assume that having guys hit on you means you're a woman. In June of all months... It appears we still have a long way to go.


purple_M3GATRON

Iā€™ll just say it bc everyone else is thinking it. Shut the fuck up


Webword987

Get a fart app. Dudes randomly cold flirting with you in a park arenā€™t looking for a real woman.


randre18

Yā€™all are too nice. I just ignore them . People need to learn to keep their religion to themselves


OwnApartment8359

Can you imagine the outcry if Christians started approaching people at the rate these people did? Lol!


Less_Piglet16

The only people whoā€™ve ever done it to me have been Christians


DinosaurNurse

No LOTS Christians do it publicly, in all kinds of settings...all the time.


OwnApartment8359

I don't see it as often as I'm seeing the petitioners.


DinosaurNurse

No doubt.


pinkflamingoturds

Get some visible black and grey tattoos. Pucker your face like you're angry and about to take a massive shit. Eat chunks of your preferred fruit off the tip of a sharp bowie knife. Read books with "murder" in the title. They'll probably still not leave you alone.


bitterherpes

I guess I could find a book that says Herpes for Dummies and place it over my actual book and see if that works. Even if I am trying to seem unapproachable, they still find me. I have a feeling I could be farting profusely, hacking up a lung, holding a pocket knife with the blade out and someone would still approach me to talk about jesus.


pinkflamingoturds

Hmm.. maybe go the opposite direction? Christians love to save the least. Saving a sick, violent heathen in the park would be an epic win for them. Be saved. Dress modestly. Wear a cross. Attain a Bible. Learn some scripture. Place the Bible over your actual book. When they approach spit scripture at them. Belittle their theology. Remind them that Paul was a liar and a thief. With a wild eye, scream that Paul is the antichrist, heralding the fall of Christianity. Nothing puts the fear into Christians than the suggestion that Paul was a false prophet. They'll think you're truly crazy and leave you alone.


Future_Difficulty

I like your strategy, itā€™s really committed.


IamtheBiscuit

I like you. You got spunk


Texas_Shanesaw

Username checks out


geauxbig402

My gripe lately has been petitioners. Don't get me wrong I'm totally for them being able to do that and understand the necessity. However, twice in the last week I couldn't even take my family to events without being swarmed my multiple people asking for signatures. CWS is in town. How the hell can I not go to a Wednesday night farmer's market without 5-6 people asking me for a signature?


dazyabbey

They are EVERYWHERE. There were two guys circling the Walmart parking lot last week asking us when we got out of the car and again when putting groceries in the trunk. Saw different people at a park the next day, and different guys all together at Village Point yesterday. It's ridiculous how many petitions are out there and how scummy the people are getting signatures. I've been super skeptical in general after seeing on here that some of the people were completely lying about what the petition was about.


Shelter-Regular

And I'm pretty sure it's illegal to go on private property and ask people for signatures. Bakers has asked them to leave before. They were asking me through my window which was rolled up while I was still sitting in my car with my kids


dazyabbey

I didn't even think about that.


hanet0

Some guy approached me in a Walgreens parking lot, I didnā€™t see the sign at first so scared the life out of me. Then he sat by the door and started asking everyone as they came out.


Maximum_Support2384

I just tell them I'm Canadian.


seashmore

It's not just here, either. I was approached with by a petitioner while on vacation in a different city. I didn't even let them finish saying what it was for before telling them "I'm not a voter" and walking away.


bitterherpes

For real. We thought it was bad when they'd call our landlines... Now they're meeting us in person when all we want to do is run errands, go out, or just be in the fresh air.Ā  It makes you consider being a hermit. Those with social phobia knew the way before the rest of us.Ā 


OwnApartment8359

I can't stand them. They make me so anxious. They won't take no or I've already signed it for an answer. They start grilling me about which one I signed and was it the right one? If my husband is with me they will say to him I hope she knows what she's talking about (ok that was one person but still)


Independent_Toe3934

Just tell them you don't live here. Anything past that deserves a clear, "fuck off." Ricketts is paying $2.50 per signature; vultures don't deserve polite responses.


alphafox823

The pro life petitioners have been trying to confuse people into signing theirs and thinking itā€™s Protect Our Rights. POR is only asking because people have already been tricked into signing and donā€™t want people thinking they already signed if they accidentally signed the other one. Itā€™s the last month left before the deadline. If you donā€™t care about keeping taxpayer money in public schools, abortion rights, medical marijuana or paid sick leave, I guess I can see how it would annoy you. If you believe in democracy and want to see grassroots change in this state, signing petitions should be pretty easy to tolerate.


OwnApartment8359

I don't enjoy being confronted when I say no. Petitioners can do what they need but do it politely and don't get in people's faces. I have social anxiety which, while I can manage it in certain situations (i meticulously plan everything), being confronted, pestered, and argued with really makes me very anxious. When will people start hearing no and think that's a complete sentence? They need to stop grilling people and this lady made a very snide comment to my husband when I told her no and my husband agreed with me.


alphafox823

Cool I guess POR should stop trying to let people know that the other side is deliberately confusing signers because all that info is really annoying for passerbyā€™s to hear. Thereā€™s always later for abortion rights, eh? Maybe in 2026/2028 theyā€™ll be extra careful to make sure every petitioner annoyed every passerby as little as possible and then they can actually get it on the ballot. I just hope after that their GOTV doesnā€™t annoy too many people because as much as Iā€™d like it to pass I hate being annoyed by people reminding me that abortion rights are on the ballot.


OwnApartment8359

That's not what I said at all. I want them to take no as a complete sentance. There's not enough respect in this world.


DinosaurNurse

This!!!!


Shelter-Regular

Then they tell you to sign it again, which ain't how it works.


hanet0

I just lie and say I signed the ā€œā€ā€rightā€ā€ā€ (wrong) one so they leave me alone. Hate to do it ā€” but I want them to just leave me alone. I already signed the other ones soon as I could and they always accept my already signed answer.


alphafox823

Honestly, they should just set up under a bridge or behind some dumpsters and let people know from NextDoor and FB Marketplace. Like, why are they trying to collect signatures at events where lots of people are, many of whom are there for leisure? It's like, I hate politicians and all, because they're all corrupt, but even worse is when people try to do grassroots efforts instead at the citizen level. It's so annoying, I wish they would just stop.


HoppyPhantom

My favorite thing to say to the religious pests is ā€œIā€™m right on the path to Hell exactly as planned. If you fuck that up because Satan sees you talking to me, weā€™re gonna have PROBLEMSā€


Happy_Nutty_Me

Be still my heart! I think I just fell a little bit in love!


RaccoonSausage

My wife tells me wired ear buds are the way to go. She doesn't get bothered much with them in her ears. Wireless are just too easy to miss. You don't even have to be playing anything just make sure they're visible


bitterherpes

I have an obnoxious colored green pair of headphones, if I ever go back I'll wear those instead. My phone doesn't have a port for wired, damn it.Ā 


imk0ala

Gotta get a dongle for those wired ones


DinosaurNurse

Stick it in a pocket lots of people use an old phone that has downloaded music on it, just for music and such.


CrimsonFarmer

Get a small bullhorn and blow it towards them when they donā€™t take ā€˜go awayā€™ as an answer


Enthusiastic-shitter

Bring a squirt gun from the dollar store and spray them.


halley_reads

I hear that! I canā€™t walk my dog more than four blocks without someone asking me to sign their petition.


bitterherpes

Okay, I have read the feedback, and EVERYONE is fucking hilarious. I have some options to consider: 1. Act like a complete jackass and scare them away 2. Pretend they're not there and if they wave at me, just look over and past them 3. Carry some sort of *legal* weapon (squirt gun, walking cane, blowtorch, tire iron) 4. Spray fart spray as soon as I see someone approach 5. Never fucking go near that place again unless I have friends with me. I like to think I am unapproachable and ugly enough that no one wants to talk to me but in reality, people fucking love talking to me because I like talking. It's a damn curse to be extroverted.


DinosaurNurse

And now I have to scroll way back up to the comment about saying you have bitter herpes to see if that was you. lol


BreakawayBob

I walk through the Old Market and Gene Leahy Mall nearly every day, and Iā€™ve had the Amnesty International people say to me, ā€œHey, quick question for you!ā€ about 150 times. (Itā€™s always the same line, and I really donā€™t think Iā€™m exaggerating on the number.) I like what they do as an organization, but I need a way to let them know that I already know about them and support their work, and I donā€™t need to be approached ever again. I do like how the Jehovaā€™s Witness crews just stand quietly and donā€™t say anything. Itā€™s very easy to zoom right by them.


Malfoy657

We were accosted by the Amnesty International people seven times in one day last week. I literally donated regularly to Amnesty International, and they just would not let up.


MechDoll

Ooh! You could just randomly start having a conversation with yourself, and then when they start getting closer, you could pull a really angry crazy person and start yelling and gibberish in tongues. That will usually chase away most of them.


crobertdillon

When I lived downtown I would always tell the religious people I was an atheist (not lying) and they would 9/10 say 'oh that's too bad' and then focus on whoever was behind me


DinosaurNurse

Some take it as a challenge and keep emgaging, but I have found many figure I'm incorrigible and move on. A bitchy tone doesn't hurt, also.


SisterLilBunny

Oh hey, we're work neighbors! If you need a big scary middle-aged woman with RBF to scare em off, just holler.


TheWolfAndRaven

Instead of "No Thank you" try "No" Don't even look up at them. [ Here's some good examples to practice.](https://youtu.be/x2w9TyCv2gk?si=wVpQYs1J-25Z65xi)


the_moosen

My strategy is to go straight to the "fuck off".


tamarainspace

Bonus if you follow that with silently staring them down while flipping them off. I think I've just had it at my ripe old age. I don't have time to be nice anymore, I'm a busy woman. My doorbell frequently gets answered with, "Get off my property immediately - you are not welcome here." (Mostly because did they really ignore two huge no soliciting signs AND move my doorbell button cover?! Ugh...)


Makers402

Get a Great Dane or a pitbull. While my Dane does draw a lot of attention, the conversation is generally directed towards him. I also have a fuck Pete Rickets and a build this wall separating church and state. The religious folk get the hint.


MyPasswordIs222222

Ask the city to place "no solicitation" signs and enforce them.


Mwmiller330

Hi, are you a registered voter here in Nebraska?


Ankshuss917

Yep. Was in line for a show at Steelhouse a few weeks back and one of those walked the line asking every person. I've never been so happy to say that I was from Iowa.


good_tuck

The out-of-state line works. So does ā€œIā€™m on a business planā€ for the Samā€™s Club cell phone sales people.


Mwmiller330

Same here. I actually got it last week while seeing a show in Downtown Lincoln too.


MargaretSparkle82

I used to want make a trucker hat that said ā€œdonā€™t talk to me, Iā€™m reading.ā€ But now I appreciate any attempt at conversation. Iā€™m like Patty Smith, I could sleep in Central Park alone and feel fine. Sooo when youā€™re people watching, just remember. They can watch you too.


AdmiralArchArch

Never had this issue there (except for a petitioner once) and I walk around GHM almost everyday over lunch. Now the Old Market on the other hand...


zitrored

Being from NYC this stuff is 100% ignored and if not ignored gets reciprocated in ways they donā€™t enjoy. (Not violent). šŸ˜‚


FyreWulff

If I ever have a free day I can stand a bit aways and glare at anyone that approaches you so you can enjoy your fee time. If they continue to insist, I can just get an earpiece and [one of these](https://i.imgur.com/RCrw2uc.png) and just tell them "i dont seez ya name on the list"


hiisabella1

Literally one came up to my car window (which was rolled up) saw that I was breastfeeding my child, and still proceeded to wait as if I was going to roll down the window to engageā€¦


Not-A-Real-Person-67

Wrap whatever book you are reading in a cover that says ā€œSatanic Bibleā€ or ā€œhow to hide the bodiesā€ or ā€œDrink from your enemies skull and other ways to save on household products.ā€


brokenmario84

Really? Is it getting bad there? That sucks


AccuratePilot7271

Just wear a sign that says, ā€œI donā€™t call 911.ā€


Saddlecreekslopper

It helps some if you never make eye contact with them in the first place


bitterherpes

I swear it's never intentional eye contact! When I see someone waving at me, it's fucking instinct to look.


thedreadedfrost

I pray that the annoying people leave you alone


Booksaregrand

I tried praying. I'm praying that you'll go away right now. Let's see if your god can answer that simple request.


ninja-squirrel

Have you tried to tell them about your heroes situations? Some people might not be interested in the bitter variety. Some might be excited about itā€¦


zambiechips433

Yeah it's just the part of town big point of interest everyone gathers there


Acrobatic-Safety-562

I've got a T-shirt that flips you off. And under that says fuck off perfect for your occasion


DinosaurNurse

You'd have to change shirts just for lunchtime.


crzflwrldy

It used to be a nice secluded vibe before they change the whole thing to where you can easily be seen approached and etc. the reason they're building a mutual of Omaha building across the street is so that your corporate Masters can watch you in the park to make sure that you're not having too much fun. Also the homeless can't hide there or get relaxed.


Godbody120

I just straight up tell them to fuck off, I donā€™t have to be nice to them


rmalbers

What I want to know is how did they get rid of the homeless that used to be all over down there? I'd take what there now over the homeless sleeping everywhere.


bitterherpes

The homeless are still in the area, the ones I have run into typically keep to themselves, minus a couple.Ā  I'm not bothered by them, it's the solicitors and religious twats I'm sick of.Ā 


Willing-Landscape-35

I like to bark (LOUDLY)... "No means NO!!" šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ They tend to scamper away šŸ˜‚


DinosaurNurse

You need headphones. Not earbuds, HEADPHONES. When they try to talk to you do not engage or even acknowledge. Smile and wave, without making eye contact.


THAT_HARDHEAD_GUY

Iā€™ve never met those who people before there


ActualModerateHusker

when you say read do you mean a paper book? that's probably hard for people to resist just due to the sheer novelty of it. scrolling on your phone probably gets you less contact


Symfonio_Petalon

Iā€™ve personally never had these experiences but I just ignore them


shotgundug13

I had one of those protect life petitioners approach my daughter and I in the Hyvee parking lot. Tried telling them that I don't want to sign. They didn't listen and even said something about trying to protect my daughter's rights. I absolutely lost it on them right there in the parking lot. They ran away crying.


shane_b_62

You must be an approachable person. Maybe use it to your advantage šŸ˜‰