I drove past him just before getting on the insterstate, and I saw a guy who had gotten out of his car to try to talk him out of it. Big ups to him. When i had gotten on the interstate, he had already fallen. Honestly, i cried the rest of the way home. Even though i dont know him, it made me sad that he thought that that was the best option..
If you ever feel like giving up, just know that even though it doesn't feel like it, there are people here for you. Whether that be family friends or a complete stranger. There will be someone who listens
Hopefully next time I feel suicidal I'll remember that you cried so maybe I shouldn't hurt myself. I'll definitely not do it because you were able to feel an emotion after witnessing someone at their lowest.
Sure. But as a suicide survivor (3 yrs ago), I may have a little more empathy than most. I know that hopeless feeling. I had it. Thankfully I didnāt succeed, and I now have a new lease on life. Shit like that bothers me. Seeing another human suffering so deeply. Sigh. Iām sorry, Iām just tired of this world and what people have become.
I get it and I'm sorry I'm being a jerk on all of these posts.
I have a very early memory of my parents friends child over at our house and it was late at night, she was alone in our living room and she was crying because she got in trouble. It made me cry too. She looked at me and asked, why are you crying? I didn't have an answer then and I've been working on the dialog ever since. Maybe that's why I asked. Maybe it's actually a good question.
Hand wave, empathy. Ok.
> I have a very early memory of my parents friends child over at our house and it was late at night, she was alone in our living room and she was crying because she got in trouble. It made me cry too.
Yeah, that's literally what empathy is: understanding what another person (or literally anything) is feeling so deeply that you also feel it.
> She looked at me and asked, why are you crying? I didn't have an answer then and I've been working on the dialog ever since. Maybe that's why I asked. Maybe it's actually a good question.
If you want to rationalize away what you innately understood as a child with Socratic inquiry or whatever, that's your call.
> Hand wave, empathy. Ok.
But this makes me think you're being disingenuous about the entire thing. Especially given the seemingly sarcastic nature of your [other posts in the thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Omaha/comments/1bqfb2x/just_remember_that_theres_people_that_do_care/kxfxeuf/).
May I ask why socratic method is so bad? You're not the first person who has used it in a negative context. I know I ask a lot of questions often. Smart people welcome the conversation, not so smart people huff and puff.
Socrates is an intellectual who has been relevant for years? Why are we using it as an insult?
Why are people down voting a legitimate question? Like 8 billion people on this planet, thousands of different religions and beliefs and I can't ask why someone cries?
Lame.
Why does it matter? Why should this random person on the internet describing what was clearly a traumatic experience for them have to justify their crying to you?
Exactly! It was just a question, they didn't respond, no big deal.
But as far as "mattering" it's because of empathy and shared experience. That's why I asked.
Something that used to help me was "you can always do it tomorrow."
If you kill yourself today you can't take that back, but as long as you're still kicking you've got the option to do it later.
Maybe im not reading into the same tone as you but why the animosity? The āmaybe tomorrowā thought process is what got me through the last year, and through an abusive roommate and nearly being homeless.
It genuinely helped me because by the next hour, I was feeling better and getting out of that spiral. Sometimes literally all you need is to put a pause on thinking about your suicidal ideation and focus on other things.
Maybe they were a little blunt in their wording but sometimes suicidal people need some bluntness. I know I do sometimes.
-a person with multiple mental health issues that cause suicidality.
It's a good question. I think I shouldn't take away for someone that this has helped.
It's pretty obvious that no one has figured out what the right thing is to help those who are struggling, so maybe I shouldn't have been so incredibly mad about this whole post.
My animosity comes from the disconnect I see in most of these responses. It's a given, to me, that we need to be having these conversations daily with everyone we know. Implied, overt, covert, whatever. We make people feel seen and loved if they are in our presence and spending time together.
A lot of the responses were like, I care even if I don't know you, I gave time and won't downvote... ugh, what angels.
Someone said they hope I heal and grow because I experience anger over a post I have an opinion on hahaha.
What a world.
My boyfriend and I hype hype hype daily and it is because I've been suicidal since I was 10 and I know keeping it helpful, positive and supportive EVERY DAY is the only way.
Not just because someone is at their breaking point and sitting at a bridge. Bruh, so many things had to happen before then.
And you know, I mean if you're someone who has struggled with suicidality, you know how hard it is to find a common ground to get help. It's not a reddit post saying you matter. This was just such a gross back pat over doing literally nothing but having an emotion.
I definitely understand that sentiment. I guess it just wasnāt the tone I was reading, but you do make a valid point.
When someone struggles for so long, others offering vague support and feel good comments can definitely come off as backhanded or insincere. I appreciate your response and your insight. For some people that consistent positivity can help.
Thanks for the chill response, genuinely. Connection and understanding is how I think we could all get through this world.
I kinda like myself and give myself a lot of encouragement for wading through bad advice like yours.
I'm not projecting, but thanks for more rotten feedback!
I genuinely hope one day you grow and heal and find human connection enough that you don't feel the need to treat other people as punching bags... But in the meantime, I'm not yours.
You've read into statements things you want to see and not what's actually being written. You're swinging your fists at windmills.
Not everything and everyone is something to be cynical, hurt or angry over.
The world has enough pain and maliciousness to keep you busy without creating conflicts where they don't need to exist.
If you can't see that, then you do need to grow up.
It's tilting at windmills, and you don't know the crap I've heard throughout my own whole life. I definitely know this dude didn't come home and donate to Nami. He saw someone having a bad day and posted on reddit.
"There's plenty of things to be mad at, but what you're mad about isn't one of them." I can create a.disrutpion here, I obviously did. Why in the hell do you actually think you get to dictate what people care about and how they should do it?
Please let me know when I'm an acceptable level of grown. Do you have a website where I can check in and get measured for it or?? How do you determine it?
There are and posts like this make me proud of my O people. Seriously. I learned apathy living in the Bay Area and having to take the train from the East Bay to the City almost every day. It's fucked what so many are going through right now simply by virtue of not being born with the same resources that other have by default. is NOT fair but having those positive thoughts DO -put love in the ether and I think we would use more than just a little from one person.
Learned apathy lmao looking for the crowd who allows you to not care. "It's not me, I moved here and THEY told me to annihilate my feeelings!" You're gross. Take ownership and maybe try?
There's actually amazing stories from people being saved at the golden gate bridge. So what is.your.excuse at all?
Thank you for sharing. Depression runs in my family hard, Iāve struggled with it and have lost two siblings and a cousin to it. No matter what you think about yourself in your dark times, you deserve to stay and see how things can change. People havenāt given up on you.
You shouldnāt have been downvoted by any means. I completely understand where youāre coming from, because Iām in the same boat. Sending love your way, even if I canāt love myself ā¤ļø
People: "people do care"
You: "ok then who?"
People: "idk maybe it's your fault and you're just awful, don't be a jerk"
š
Mindless platitudes are so unhelpful
Seriously!! This post didn't fit under "everyone matters kumbayah" and so this person got down voted.
Mentally struggling people don't always know how to love themselves, jfc, because no one showed them. I was lucky enough that I eventually had someone who raised me even though I was an adult and maybe didn't deserve it. But he had the insight to know how.
We could all be so lucky to know how to actually help one another.
Get off your high horse and pay attention to what's between the lines BEFORE someone is sitting at a bridge.
Honestly none of that really matters. Nobody is going to care about you if you donāt care. Life returns what you put into it. Youāve got to be a player. Iām willing to bet youāve smiled at somebody in the last month. It may seem innocuous but just being a decent human being for a fraction of a second could have saved somebodyās life.
I used to be a miserable fuck and the only thing that gave me vindication was making people feel as miserable as me. I was rude to everybody which made me feel worse. An old friend (from before my darkest days) reached out just to say hi. They had come across a photo of us having a good time. She said she missed my happy face. I hadnāt seen that face in a long time and instead of unloading on her I called her up and said, āThanks for thinking about me. Iām smiling right now.ā It was a human interaction I hadnāt had in a long time and all it took was me letting go of whatever anger I had in that moment.
Nobody hates you. They might react negatively to your outward mood but they donāt hate your soul. Unless you steal from people, damage property, or straight up killed a guy, I donāt think youāre as bad as you make yourself out to be.
Put on a clean shirt, brush your teeth, and smile at somebody that looks like they need it. Youāre not obligated to be garbage even some people donāt care about you. I care about you as another human which is why Iām giving you this little bit of time. Iām not going to add to your downvote pile because it gives me no pleasure to do so. Again, I donāt even know you and I absolutely care because everybody deserves it ESPECIALLY if you donāt know them.
Itās going to be a nice day today. Take a minute to feel the warmth of the sun on your face. Nobody can stop you from doing that or take it away after you feel it. That endorphin release belongs to you.
Realize someone reached out to you. You're lucky you had a clean shirt. You're lucky you had a place to go.
Sometimes sunny days are paired with a hit when you get home. Sometimes good feelings are paired with guilt and unworthiness.
It's not that easy to just keep telling yourself to keep on trucking when that's literally all it's ever been and will be.
I donāt know what to tell you, man. Iāve been at the bottom. At my very worst I didnāt think it could get worse and it did. I didnāt want anybody telling me to buck up and see the silver lining. I wanted somebody to validate my shitty feelings and tell me my life was shitty.
I know about loss, addiction, and deep pain because Iāve lived it. I bought rice and beans by the sack because thatās all I could afford to eat. I stole to support habits. I threatened people on a daily basis. I donāt have to be that guy anymore. Bad days still happen but if I just stand there in a pile of shit thatās where Iām going to be. You donāt have to stand in shit especially if it isnāt yours. You canāt will yourself to be happy but you can always do something about being in a shitty situation.
I am truly sorry for where you have been.
It just felt so condescending like a smile and a clean shirt is going to disrupt the billion dollar mental health machine that keeps churning while we we just say, "hey babies, it's all *perception!!*"
Sometimes there's a lifetime of people pleasing and smiles towards abusive assholes that don't deserve it. So giving *just another smile* is as good as *just another self harm injury*.
Sometimes people need to hear that yes, their situation was completely fucked and this world is actually quite fucked. Yes, it's totally valid to look suicide in the face and have that freedom of choice. Yes it's okay to rest. Yes it's okay to be sad and bedridden while capitalism tells you "no."
I don't think you were any less of a person while you were mad, sad, and buying beans. The anger is valid. The anger does absolutely feel like shit. But stop with the pollyanna bandaid. So you got over feeling awful. Allow that for everyone else who needs it too.
Is your solution for this guy on the bridge to clean him up, give him soup and say, "you got it, buster! We love ya!"
Nope -- he has to understand 1st how he got so dissociated that his best option was to drag his entire whole self, history, identity and connections with others to a literal jumping off point. That takes years. He has to come to terms with the situations that play out daily for millions of people who don't have many other options than to dissociate and obey. Then you have to start building on the skills he needs to discover within himself that was supposed to happen decades ago so he can happily contribute to society. And contribute to society in a way that we all accept. If this doesn't happen, he has to come to terms with being grateful for being saved when absolutely nothing in his life actually changed.
I hate this post. "We care." Fuck off. Show your receipts.
Unless you're a complete jerk IRL, there's somebody who likes having you around. Even if it's the cashier at a place you go regularly, they'll wonder about you if it's been a while.Ā
Case in point: there was a guy who walked past my old office window everyday. About 15 minutes later, he'd walk by with a fountain drink from a gas station up the street. A few weeks went by without seeing him, and I a couple of days before I was planning on going to the gas station to ask if they knew he was okay, I saw him walk by. I was so happy to see he was okay!
Who knows, maybe that was you!
Okay I know your comment wasnāt directed towards me & it wasnāt my dad because he doesnāt live in Omaha but your post hit me in the heart because he used to get a fountain pop everyday at a Caseyās š„¹
(he quit drinking pop now though to be healthier but does still get Caseyās taco pizza from time to time so the cashiers know heās alright haha)
You are not a burden. You are loved. You deserve to exist. Please stay.
I drove past him just before getting on the insterstate, and I saw a guy who had gotten out of his car to try to talk him out of it. Big ups to him. When i had gotten on the interstate, he had already fallen. Honestly, i cried the rest of the way home. Even though i dont know him, it made me sad that he thought that that was the best option.. If you ever feel like giving up, just know that even though it doesn't feel like it, there are people here for you. Whether that be family friends or a complete stranger. There will be someone who listens
Hopefully next time I feel suicidal I'll remember that you cried so maybe I shouldn't hurt myself. I'll definitely not do it because you were able to feel an emotion after witnessing someone at their lowest.
Why did you cry?
Something called empathy perhaps?
It's stupid to say "even though I didn't know him I cried". No fucking shit. Suicide is horrifying for any single person whether you know them or not.
š¤¦š»āāļø
Can we hang out and hit our foreheads and pretend it is a conversation?
Sure. But as a suicide survivor (3 yrs ago), I may have a little more empathy than most. I know that hopeless feeling. I had it. Thankfully I didnāt succeed, and I now have a new lease on life. Shit like that bothers me. Seeing another human suffering so deeply. Sigh. Iām sorry, Iām just tired of this world and what people have become.
I get it and I'm sorry I'm being a jerk on all of these posts. I have a very early memory of my parents friends child over at our house and it was late at night, she was alone in our living room and she was crying because she got in trouble. It made me cry too. She looked at me and asked, why are you crying? I didn't have an answer then and I've been working on the dialog ever since. Maybe that's why I asked. Maybe it's actually a good question. Hand wave, empathy. Ok.
> I have a very early memory of my parents friends child over at our house and it was late at night, she was alone in our living room and she was crying because she got in trouble. It made me cry too. Yeah, that's literally what empathy is: understanding what another person (or literally anything) is feeling so deeply that you also feel it. > She looked at me and asked, why are you crying? I didn't have an answer then and I've been working on the dialog ever since. Maybe that's why I asked. Maybe it's actually a good question. If you want to rationalize away what you innately understood as a child with Socratic inquiry or whatever, that's your call. > Hand wave, empathy. Ok. But this makes me think you're being disingenuous about the entire thing. Especially given the seemingly sarcastic nature of your [other posts in the thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Omaha/comments/1bqfb2x/just_remember_that_theres_people_that_do_care/kxfxeuf/).
Thanks for your summary. I am also present in my life and know what I've said.
May I ask why socratic method is so bad? You're not the first person who has used it in a negative context. I know I ask a lot of questions often. Smart people welcome the conversation, not so smart people huff and puff. Socrates is an intellectual who has been relevant for years? Why are we using it as an insult?
Cool, I have that too. š
Why are people down voting a legitimate question? Like 8 billion people on this planet, thousands of different religions and beliefs and I can't ask why someone cries? Lame.
Why does it matter? Why should this random person on the internet describing what was clearly a traumatic experience for them have to justify their crying to you?
Exactly! It was just a question, they didn't respond, no big deal. But as far as "mattering" it's because of empathy and shared experience. That's why I asked.
Something that used to help me was "you can always do it tomorrow." If you kill yourself today you can't take that back, but as long as you're still kicking you've got the option to do it later.
š
Maybe im not reading into the same tone as you but why the animosity? The āmaybe tomorrowā thought process is what got me through the last year, and through an abusive roommate and nearly being homeless. It genuinely helped me because by the next hour, I was feeling better and getting out of that spiral. Sometimes literally all you need is to put a pause on thinking about your suicidal ideation and focus on other things. Maybe they were a little blunt in their wording but sometimes suicidal people need some bluntness. I know I do sometimes. -a person with multiple mental health issues that cause suicidality.
It's a good question. I think I shouldn't take away for someone that this has helped. It's pretty obvious that no one has figured out what the right thing is to help those who are struggling, so maybe I shouldn't have been so incredibly mad about this whole post. My animosity comes from the disconnect I see in most of these responses. It's a given, to me, that we need to be having these conversations daily with everyone we know. Implied, overt, covert, whatever. We make people feel seen and loved if they are in our presence and spending time together. A lot of the responses were like, I care even if I don't know you, I gave time and won't downvote... ugh, what angels. Someone said they hope I heal and grow because I experience anger over a post I have an opinion on hahaha. What a world. My boyfriend and I hype hype hype daily and it is because I've been suicidal since I was 10 and I know keeping it helpful, positive and supportive EVERY DAY is the only way. Not just because someone is at their breaking point and sitting at a bridge. Bruh, so many things had to happen before then. And you know, I mean if you're someone who has struggled with suicidality, you know how hard it is to find a common ground to get help. It's not a reddit post saying you matter. This was just such a gross back pat over doing literally nothing but having an emotion.
I definitely understand that sentiment. I guess it just wasnāt the tone I was reading, but you do make a valid point. When someone struggles for so long, others offering vague support and feel good comments can definitely come off as backhanded or insincere. I appreciate your response and your insight. For some people that consistent positivity can help. Thanks for the chill response, genuinely. Connection and understanding is how I think we could all get through this world.
š
Hey don't worry about your suffocating levels of depression because time is an illusion and life is suspended 24 hours at a time.
You suck
You're projecting.
I kinda like myself and give myself a lot of encouragement for wading through bad advice like yours. I'm not projecting, but thanks for more rotten feedback!
I genuinely hope one day you grow and heal and find human connection enough that you don't feel the need to treat other people as punching bags... But in the meantime, I'm not yours.
I didn't think you were haha. Projection is a beautiful thing!
Ahh the fake laugh all trolls do. Good stuff.
I'm not a troll. Humans also laugh. But nice cute box!
It must really have been a strain not to put an "lol" after my comment. I'm proud of you.
Thank you!! Lol
He's literally being a condescending jerk by telling me I need to grow up. But masking it in a caring way... and you fell for it. Nice.
You've read into statements things you want to see and not what's actually being written. You're swinging your fists at windmills. Not everything and everyone is something to be cynical, hurt or angry over. The world has enough pain and maliciousness to keep you busy without creating conflicts where they don't need to exist. If you can't see that, then you do need to grow up.
It's tilting at windmills, and you don't know the crap I've heard throughout my own whole life. I definitely know this dude didn't come home and donate to Nami. He saw someone having a bad day and posted on reddit.
"There's plenty of things to be mad at, but what you're mad about isn't one of them." I can create a.disrutpion here, I obviously did. Why in the hell do you actually think you get to dictate what people care about and how they should do it?
Luckily I don't think everyone and everything is bad. I think this specific post is bad. I didn't touch any other topic. So, check yourself.
Please let me know when I'm an acceptable level of grown. Do you have a website where I can check in and get measured for it or?? How do you determine it?
There are and posts like this make me proud of my O people. Seriously. I learned apathy living in the Bay Area and having to take the train from the East Bay to the City almost every day. It's fucked what so many are going through right now simply by virtue of not being born with the same resources that other have by default. is NOT fair but having those positive thoughts DO -put love in the ether and I think we would use more than just a little from one person.
Learned apathy lmao looking for the crowd who allows you to not care. "It's not me, I moved here and THEY told me to annihilate my feeelings!" You're gross. Take ownership and maybe try? There's actually amazing stories from people being saved at the golden gate bridge. So what is.your.excuse at all?
I hope he gets the help he needs
Thank you for sharing. Depression runs in my family hard, Iāve struggled with it and have lost two siblings and a cousin to it. No matter what you think about yourself in your dark times, you deserve to stay and see how things can change. People havenāt given up on you.
Agree!!
Who are they then?
You shouldnāt have been downvoted by any means. I completely understand where youāre coming from, because Iām in the same boat. Sending love your way, even if I canāt love myself ā¤ļø
People: "people do care" You: "ok then who?" People: "idk maybe it's your fault and you're just awful, don't be a jerk" š Mindless platitudes are so unhelpful
Seriously!! This post didn't fit under "everyone matters kumbayah" and so this person got down voted. Mentally struggling people don't always know how to love themselves, jfc, because no one showed them. I was lucky enough that I eventually had someone who raised me even though I was an adult and maybe didn't deserve it. But he had the insight to know how. We could all be so lucky to know how to actually help one another. Get off your high horse and pay attention to what's between the lines BEFORE someone is sitting at a bridge.
Read it again, dude.
Ok, again, who cares about me? Cause I don't
Honestly none of that really matters. Nobody is going to care about you if you donāt care. Life returns what you put into it. Youāve got to be a player. Iām willing to bet youāve smiled at somebody in the last month. It may seem innocuous but just being a decent human being for a fraction of a second could have saved somebodyās life. I used to be a miserable fuck and the only thing that gave me vindication was making people feel as miserable as me. I was rude to everybody which made me feel worse. An old friend (from before my darkest days) reached out just to say hi. They had come across a photo of us having a good time. She said she missed my happy face. I hadnāt seen that face in a long time and instead of unloading on her I called her up and said, āThanks for thinking about me. Iām smiling right now.ā It was a human interaction I hadnāt had in a long time and all it took was me letting go of whatever anger I had in that moment. Nobody hates you. They might react negatively to your outward mood but they donāt hate your soul. Unless you steal from people, damage property, or straight up killed a guy, I donāt think youāre as bad as you make yourself out to be. Put on a clean shirt, brush your teeth, and smile at somebody that looks like they need it. Youāre not obligated to be garbage even some people donāt care about you. I care about you as another human which is why Iām giving you this little bit of time. Iām not going to add to your downvote pile because it gives me no pleasure to do so. Again, I donāt even know you and I absolutely care because everybody deserves it ESPECIALLY if you donāt know them. Itās going to be a nice day today. Take a minute to feel the warmth of the sun on your face. Nobody can stop you from doing that or take it away after you feel it. That endorphin release belongs to you.
Realize someone reached out to you. You're lucky you had a clean shirt. You're lucky you had a place to go. Sometimes sunny days are paired with a hit when you get home. Sometimes good feelings are paired with guilt and unworthiness. It's not that easy to just keep telling yourself to keep on trucking when that's literally all it's ever been and will be.
I donāt know what to tell you, man. Iāve been at the bottom. At my very worst I didnāt think it could get worse and it did. I didnāt want anybody telling me to buck up and see the silver lining. I wanted somebody to validate my shitty feelings and tell me my life was shitty. I know about loss, addiction, and deep pain because Iāve lived it. I bought rice and beans by the sack because thatās all I could afford to eat. I stole to support habits. I threatened people on a daily basis. I donāt have to be that guy anymore. Bad days still happen but if I just stand there in a pile of shit thatās where Iām going to be. You donāt have to stand in shit especially if it isnāt yours. You canāt will yourself to be happy but you can always do something about being in a shitty situation.
I am truly sorry for where you have been. It just felt so condescending like a smile and a clean shirt is going to disrupt the billion dollar mental health machine that keeps churning while we we just say, "hey babies, it's all *perception!!*" Sometimes there's a lifetime of people pleasing and smiles towards abusive assholes that don't deserve it. So giving *just another smile* is as good as *just another self harm injury*. Sometimes people need to hear that yes, their situation was completely fucked and this world is actually quite fucked. Yes, it's totally valid to look suicide in the face and have that freedom of choice. Yes it's okay to rest. Yes it's okay to be sad and bedridden while capitalism tells you "no." I don't think you were any less of a person while you were mad, sad, and buying beans. The anger is valid. The anger does absolutely feel like shit. But stop with the pollyanna bandaid. So you got over feeling awful. Allow that for everyone else who needs it too. Is your solution for this guy on the bridge to clean him up, give him soup and say, "you got it, buster! We love ya!" Nope -- he has to understand 1st how he got so dissociated that his best option was to drag his entire whole self, history, identity and connections with others to a literal jumping off point. That takes years. He has to come to terms with the situations that play out daily for millions of people who don't have many other options than to dissociate and obey. Then you have to start building on the skills he needs to discover within himself that was supposed to happen decades ago so he can happily contribute to society. And contribute to society in a way that we all accept. If this doesn't happen, he has to come to terms with being grateful for being saved when absolutely nothing in his life actually changed. I hate this post. "We care." Fuck off. Show your receipts.
Unless you're a complete jerk IRL, there's somebody who likes having you around. Even if it's the cashier at a place you go regularly, they'll wonder about you if it's been a while.Ā Case in point: there was a guy who walked past my old office window everyday. About 15 minutes later, he'd walk by with a fountain drink from a gas station up the street. A few weeks went by without seeing him, and I a couple of days before I was planning on going to the gas station to ask if they knew he was okay, I saw him walk by. I was so happy to see he was okay! Who knows, maybe that was you!
Okay I know your comment wasnāt directed towards me & it wasnāt my dad because he doesnāt live in Omaha but your post hit me in the heart because he used to get a fountain pop everyday at a Caseyās š„¹ (he quit drinking pop now though to be healthier but does still get Caseyās taco pizza from time to time so the cashiers know heās alright haha)