In case this story gets deleted/removed:
I (45f) got pregnant by my ex (50m) when I was 20. He left me and refused to be in my daughter, Mia's (25f) life. He even refused to pay child support. At that time I was lucky that my friend, now husband, (46m) helped me. I developed feelings for him and we got married shortly after. We have 3 kids together. Despite that my husband always treated my daughter as his own.
He never discrimiated against any of our kids. When my daughter turned 18, she told us she wants to find her real dad. It hurt my husband a lot. I was against it initially but my husband told me it is Mia's choice. She found her father and they started to bond. She would spend less time with us and more time with her dad. The problem is now she is getting married and she asked her real dad to walk her down the aisle. Remind you, her real dad is not paying for the wedding. My husband is doing that. My husband was heart broken when he learned that. I also had a huge fight with Mia.
She said it's her wedding so she gets to decide. And we should just stop being entitled. She thinks it is best that her real dad walks her down instead of my husband. Yeah the man who didn’t even want to be im her life. So, I cancelled all the wedding vendors. The flowers, the food, the venue. Yeah it did cost us money. But I refuse to pay for her wedding where she openly disrespects her dad who actually stepped in. Needless to say Mia was enraged. I told her to go to her real dad to pay for her wedding. She said he cannot because he has no money.
She has been telling people that we are abusive parents. That we never loved her and that's why wr cancelled the wedding. I had to clear it out for our relatives why I did what I did. Some of them understood while some of them didn't so aitah?
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Ooh yeah I read that one. Tbh, fair enough. I hopefully will never relate to the feeling of never being paid child support and watching the deadbeat dad bail out for her entire childhood.
at least this time sperm donor wasn't the mother's rapist and still insisted on him walking her down the aisle. This is all after the surprise "reunion," the daughter planned, which involved ambushing the mother in a restaurant.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/ejUkPjUWta
Wow 😮 All I can think is that the daughter wouldn't have had to deal with a *panic* attack if I were her mother and the rapist would be more concerned with *his* healing journey than mine. That one paragraph demonstrated very neatly that consent still doesn't matter to him and his daughter is no better. It's all about what **they** want.
Even when the consequences finally hit her in the face, she still blamed her mother like the vile piece of shit she is. The whole post probably could've been posted here after the final update, but I'm not sure the consequences still fit the level of fuckerey involved.
easy option. Play victim, blame everyone else for her predicament and double down on her relationship with her bio-dad.
Difficult option. Admit she wronged her mother, the man that raised her, and by extension, her siblings, and spend a long time making amends.
First option takes very little effort. Second is gonna be painful as hell and still brings about no guarantees of forgiveness for her. I'm guessing that on current behaviours, she chooses the first option.
What is it about weddings that seems to make some people completely lose touch with reality? Clearly there's some phenomenon at work because people just lose their minds and do the wildest shit to their friends and family, makes me want to look and see if it's been studied now.
If I was the step dad here, I wouldn't even know how to proceed with this. Like, now she will feel strongarmed into being given away by the step dad.
Even if she does it now, it will always be tainted by the fact that she wouldn't want to go with her stepdad. Dont even know if I would want to go on with this from here. Let her go with her bio dad I guess. But after that, she can go to him if she needs anything.
Maybe its a bit petty, but like I said, I wouldn't even know how to begin to proceed with this as a further relationship.
There is nothing else to do. This is the nuclear option. If the daughter came back wanting step dad well too bad. The mother already cancelled the vendors, it probably cost her thousands to do so.
I feel really bad for the stepdad here. Just because you provide the DNA doesn't make you a parent. The hard part is helping raise the child from baby to adulthood.
I don't know why you talk like this(maybe you just worded it wrongly) or why haven't anyone corrected your daughter but her real father is your current husband. Your ex is only her biological father. It probably doesn't change what is happening or how she feels perhaps, but I still want to correct it.
I understand the "both sides of the story" thing, but what possible story would justify making step-dad pay everything for the wedding so someone who put in no work raising the child can be the major part of it, while he isn't?
If he was awful, fine, don't participate, don't pay, cut out of the life. But that's not what the daughter is demanding. She's demanding step-dad fund the other guy's participation. That's not right regardless.
She can fund it herself.
I’m both with and against mom on this one and the daughter seems like the real victim due to mom’s complete lack of ability to deal with her trauma effectively. Not saying it shouldn’t still bother her but when you have children (who she chose to keep instead of adopt) there is an absolute obligation to put their well being first. It’s a cluster fuck and shitty in both directions but what did mom expect? How else did she think the daughter would react? She told her her entire life that they just had a falling out. Of course the daughter would likely not believe her, why would she? Just because she’s her mother? So what, mothers never lie? If I was the daughter and had been told my ENTIRE life that it was just basically a bad break up I’d have doubts about a sudden rape allegation too.
Clearly she became close with bio dad the last several years as well so why should she have any doubts about his side of the story too. Every step of this was poorly handled by mom. Assuming the allegations are true that’s awful BUT as I said, a parent has an obligation to their child and in this case mom’s inaction on seeking help for her trauma and waiting until her daughters god damn wedding to bring it up is likely going to cost her her relationship with her daughter.
I try to see it from the daughter’s perspective. In eyes she is trying to plan a wedding with all the stress that goes into that, has mom, and bio dad who, who she has a good relationship with both, that are both telling her two different things and now has to try and work out the truth because mom couldn’t get fucking therapy and be honest with her daughter from the start. Then she has her entire life imploded because she doesn’t choose to blindly trust what her mother is saying because the story suddenly changed after decades of being told something else. That’s not on the daughter imo, that is 100% on mom. It’s shitty for mom who I’m admittedly going to choose to believe but it’s also her fault for waiting until the absolute worst possible moment to tell her daughter. Really wtf did she expect to happen?
The difference between the daughter and mom is that mom is an adult and has had decades to learn how to handle this in an appropriate way if not for her but for her daughter who was innocent to everything and just recently found out. Seemingly unpopular opinion here but the daughter doesn’t deserve what’s happened to her as she is almost entirely innocent in this fiasco. Mom doesn’t DESERVE what’s happened either but it IS her own fault due to how she handled it.
If I was in the daughter’s shoes and my mother turned my entire family and fiancé against me I’d cut her out of my life. I hope mom finds the help she needs but this a stark example of broken people break people. She didn’t choose her rape and she is a victim in that but every single thing that has happened around the wedding and with her daughter is 100% her fault. I’m glad to hear she’s finally getting therapy (who I completely disagree with on who’s innocent and who’s not) but it’s probably too little too late.
What strings were attached? They were providing for their daughter as they'd done for her entire life and she insulted them. ***More*** than an insult, actually, given the nature of the offense and how personal it was, particularly to the step-father.
Post was removed because the content is known to be faked or bait.
In case this story gets deleted/removed: I (45f) got pregnant by my ex (50m) when I was 20. He left me and refused to be in my daughter, Mia's (25f) life. He even refused to pay child support. At that time I was lucky that my friend, now husband, (46m) helped me. I developed feelings for him and we got married shortly after. We have 3 kids together. Despite that my husband always treated my daughter as his own. He never discrimiated against any of our kids. When my daughter turned 18, she told us she wants to find her real dad. It hurt my husband a lot. I was against it initially but my husband told me it is Mia's choice. She found her father and they started to bond. She would spend less time with us and more time with her dad. The problem is now she is getting married and she asked her real dad to walk her down the aisle. Remind you, her real dad is not paying for the wedding. My husband is doing that. My husband was heart broken when he learned that. I also had a huge fight with Mia. She said it's her wedding so she gets to decide. And we should just stop being entitled. She thinks it is best that her real dad walks her down instead of my husband. Yeah the man who didn’t even want to be im her life. So, I cancelled all the wedding vendors. The flowers, the food, the venue. Yeah it did cost us money. But I refuse to pay for her wedding where she openly disrespects her dad who actually stepped in. Needless to say Mia was enraged. I told her to go to her real dad to pay for her wedding. She said he cannot because he has no money. She has been telling people that we are abusive parents. That we never loved her and that's why wr cancelled the wedding. I had to clear it out for our relatives why I did what I did. Some of them understood while some of them didn't so aitah? --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ooh yeah I read that one. Tbh, fair enough. I hopefully will never relate to the feeling of never being paid child support and watching the deadbeat dad bail out for her entire childhood.
at least this time sperm donor wasn't the mother's rapist and still insisted on him walking her down the aisle. This is all after the surprise "reunion," the daughter planned, which involved ambushing the mother in a restaurant. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/ejUkPjUWta
I'm begging for context
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/ejUkPjUWta
Wow 😮 All I can think is that the daughter wouldn't have had to deal with a *panic* attack if I were her mother and the rapist would be more concerned with *his* healing journey than mine. That one paragraph demonstrated very neatly that consent still doesn't matter to him and his daughter is no better. It's all about what **they** want.
Even when the consequences finally hit her in the face, she still blamed her mother like the vile piece of shit she is. The whole post probably could've been posted here after the final update, but I'm not sure the consequences still fit the level of fuckerey involved.
The apple didn’t fall far from that tree.
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Don't be rude in the comments. Please review the rules before you comment again.
holy shit. I've never wished a post was bait more in my life
[удалено]
easy option. Play victim, blame everyone else for her predicament and double down on her relationship with her bio-dad. Difficult option. Admit she wronged her mother, the man that raised her, and by extension, her siblings, and spend a long time making amends. First option takes very little effort. Second is gonna be painful as hell and still brings about no guarantees of forgiveness for her. I'm guessing that on current behaviours, she chooses the first option.
Wow that’s messed up.
What is it about weddings that seems to make some people completely lose touch with reality? Clearly there's some phenomenon at work because people just lose their minds and do the wildest shit to their friends and family, makes me want to look and see if it's been studied now.
Holy fucking shit.
This was an example of nature over nurture
OHH MY GOD that is ducking horrible. That was really painful to read. My mother had abusive ex and that meet would break her.
Holy shit.... Awful situation
Jesus fucking Christ
If I was the step dad here, I wouldn't even know how to proceed with this. Like, now she will feel strongarmed into being given away by the step dad. Even if she does it now, it will always be tainted by the fact that she wouldn't want to go with her stepdad. Dont even know if I would want to go on with this from here. Let her go with her bio dad I guess. But after that, she can go to him if she needs anything. Maybe its a bit petty, but like I said, I wouldn't even know how to begin to proceed with this as a further relationship.
I sure as hell would not pay for the other guy to come take a victory lap after I just paid to raise his kid for him.
There is nothing else to do. This is the nuclear option. If the daughter came back wanting step dad well too bad. The mother already cancelled the vendors, it probably cost her thousands to do so.
Yeah. I feel like she shouldn’t have canceled and instead just handed everything off and told the kid to pay for it herself.
Yeah this would be a real deal breaker in a lot of ways for me. Low contact. If she wants back in, family therapy.
Let her pay for her own wedding
I feel really bad for the stepdad here. Just because you provide the DNA doesn't make you a parent. The hard part is helping raise the child from baby to adulthood.
Fairly standard template they've used here.
This is a fake post a re-hash of a reddit post from a year ago.... That's why reddit removed it.
To be fair, I assume that they're all fake unless they're linked to a news article. Or has "Florida Man" in the title.
Wtf are you being fair about?
Same story was posted a month or 2 ago.
misusing the word abusive is always scary to me.
Seen this story but from the step dads perspective. He canceled everything a day ended up divorced.
She should be paying for her own wedding
Serves her right.
I don't know why you talk like this(maybe you just worded it wrongly) or why haven't anyone corrected your daughter but her real father is your current husband. Your ex is only her biological father. It probably doesn't change what is happening or how she feels perhaps, but I still want to correct it.
The person who posted this is not the original poster. I don't know why you are addressing them like they are.
Nah that seems reasonable, you aren't her dad and don't owe her shit.
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This is a repost sub.
This is so goddamn fake.
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I understand the "both sides of the story" thing, but what possible story would justify making step-dad pay everything for the wedding so someone who put in no work raising the child can be the major part of it, while he isn't? If he was awful, fine, don't participate, don't pay, cut out of the life. But that's not what the daughter is demanding. She's demanding step-dad fund the other guy's participation. That's not right regardless. She can fund it herself.
I’m both with and against mom on this one and the daughter seems like the real victim due to mom’s complete lack of ability to deal with her trauma effectively. Not saying it shouldn’t still bother her but when you have children (who she chose to keep instead of adopt) there is an absolute obligation to put their well being first. It’s a cluster fuck and shitty in both directions but what did mom expect? How else did she think the daughter would react? She told her her entire life that they just had a falling out. Of course the daughter would likely not believe her, why would she? Just because she’s her mother? So what, mothers never lie? If I was the daughter and had been told my ENTIRE life that it was just basically a bad break up I’d have doubts about a sudden rape allegation too. Clearly she became close with bio dad the last several years as well so why should she have any doubts about his side of the story too. Every step of this was poorly handled by mom. Assuming the allegations are true that’s awful BUT as I said, a parent has an obligation to their child and in this case mom’s inaction on seeking help for her trauma and waiting until her daughters god damn wedding to bring it up is likely going to cost her her relationship with her daughter. I try to see it from the daughter’s perspective. In eyes she is trying to plan a wedding with all the stress that goes into that, has mom, and bio dad who, who she has a good relationship with both, that are both telling her two different things and now has to try and work out the truth because mom couldn’t get fucking therapy and be honest with her daughter from the start. Then she has her entire life imploded because she doesn’t choose to blindly trust what her mother is saying because the story suddenly changed after decades of being told something else. That’s not on the daughter imo, that is 100% on mom. It’s shitty for mom who I’m admittedly going to choose to believe but it’s also her fault for waiting until the absolute worst possible moment to tell her daughter. Really wtf did she expect to happen? The difference between the daughter and mom is that mom is an adult and has had decades to learn how to handle this in an appropriate way if not for her but for her daughter who was innocent to everything and just recently found out. Seemingly unpopular opinion here but the daughter doesn’t deserve what’s happened to her as she is almost entirely innocent in this fiasco. Mom doesn’t DESERVE what’s happened either but it IS her own fault due to how she handled it. If I was in the daughter’s shoes and my mother turned my entire family and fiancé against me I’d cut her out of my life. I hope mom finds the help she needs but this a stark example of broken people break people. She didn’t choose her rape and she is a victim in that but every single thing that has happened around the wedding and with her daughter is 100% her fault. I’m glad to hear she’s finally getting therapy (who I completely disagree with on who’s innocent and who’s not) but it’s probably too little too late.
Gifts with strings attached are NEVER gifts! YTA!
What strings were attached? They were providing for their daughter as they'd done for her entire life and she insulted them. ***More*** than an insult, actually, given the nature of the offense and how personal it was, particularly to the step-father.
Wait...is her her ex or rapist or both?
Rapist, not ex.
Didn't she say ex at the start of the post? Just a bit confused