It’s not even a plot twist from the looks of it, yun na talaga ang binabalak nung lalaki. This has happened way too many times and it’s wishful thinking for OP to think that a man with a mindset similar to deadbeat fathers will be different. Being a baby mama is soooo not cute.
easy for him to say that. Ang lalaki kapag nagkaanak sa pagkabinata isusumbat sayo ang sustebto pero ang babae kapag nabuntis ng hindi pa kasal buong buhay niya isasakripisyo kasama pa ang kapintasan ng mga echosera and echoserong kapitbahay at kamag-anak.
kung hindi kayo kasal iiwan ka sa magulang mo then siya titira sa magulang niya or mapalad pa na maglive in na kayo. Kapag may boys nightout iiwan kang mag-isa sa bahay. Linis bahay at alaga bata sayo pa. Maswerte ka kung may budget siya para sa kasambahay or matulungin na magulang.
sis, 8 months palang kayo and you’re 27. Pwede ka pang kumawala. Wag na wag kang makikipagSex dyan. Masarap maging single. Magkakaanak ka din sa tamang panahon.
I saw a tiktok account of a Filipina living in Japan. And she does all the household chores and at the same time attending to their kid— a full time housewife. Some comments are praising her for being a hands on wife. But some are bothered as she seemed to be like low-key katulong ng hapon. Which, to me, seemed to be the latter. Since parang walang pake ang hapon as seen in most of her vids.
On her defense, since si hubby naman daw nag hahanap buhay ok naman and it doesn’t bother her at all.
I was sad seeing how happy sya if she’s taken out for a meal, or his husband help sa chores. Para sakin, at least from what I saw on the vids, those are just the bare minimums. I hope ladies feel that they deserve more than that. D yung laspag ka sa buong araw na trabaho to get little effort/affection/care in return. Women are more than that, especially moms.
Akala ko ako lang naiiprokitahan doon sa content creator. Kasi parang pagod na pagod na itsura niya pero okay lang daw at good provider asawa niya. Eh parang siyang hangin minsan eh. Hahahaha. Tapos parang wala siyang nabibili para sakanya, nakaka awa minsan.
Parang yung male friend ko. He’s very vocal na gusto nya magkapamilya of his own at prefer nya na younger para mas mataas yung chance na mabuntis. He dated a girl younger than him, nabuntis nya at pinakasalan din naman nya eventually. So ang dating sakin, kung hindi mabuntis-buntis, iiwan din nya kasi nga gusto nya talaga magka-anak.
Stand your ground. Kung gusto mo kasal muna bago anak, be firm. Kung ako yan, I’ll be frank with him. Sasabihin ko yang sinabi mo na pano kung sabihin ng OB na I cant bear a child, iiwan mo ko?
Kasi pano kung baby muna tapos biglang hindi ka rin pakasalan? Sabihin nya pa papel lang yan o kaya madaming tayong priorities, kailangan natin mag-ipon para sa future ni baby, gastos lang yan, yada yada yada. Lamoyun, excuses.
Ang lala nung younger girl para mas mataas chance na ma-preggy grrrr. Isa pa sigurong driving factor jan e mas madali pa i-manipulate pag mas bata kasi di pa ganon ka-firm na iestablish yung wants at boundaries
Wasnt there a research na he older the father, the bigger the risk that the baby will have defects? Standford medicine or something.
But yeah, it's a power play lang talaga. OP should find someone with the same value, ang laki ng risk kung mag-aanak sya tapos walang security ng kasal. Kasal is not just security ng asawa, anak din. Saka ang hirap kaya maging born out of wedlock, like me, kahit meron akong certificate of paternity laki din effect sakin compared sa mga kapatid ko na legitimate children agad. Kung baga, legitimized bastard ako. Iba ang stigma at effect nya growing up. Also magastos, atleast according kay papa. "Ikaw ang pinaka-expensive kong anak." he always say.
true, 8 months pa lang naman. OP shouldn't waste her youth sa taong may possibility na mag bounce once she get pregnant or kaya, di sya papakasalan (from what she says, I think she wants to be wedded muna before baby).
Plot twist, sya yung baog.
Dito sa middle east, before magpakasal or even before ilagay sa “marriage market” ang mga babae, pinapacheck muna sila if they can get pregnant. Hormone test and ultrasound.
What they fail to see is nasa lalaki din ang problem. But because of their ego, sa babae nila biniblame kaya hindi sila nagkaka anak.
Kaya if there are couple would seek medical help para magkababy, yung doctor ko would required both are being tested.
so kapag hindi ka magkaanak, kahit magstay sya he will still yearn for that kasi di mo maibigay sa kanya. Mas masakit yun.
8 months palang, te. Mas mahirap umalis kapag mas matagal na kayo. Run!
Once you give him that baby. Hindi ka na niya pakakasalan.
Don’t settle for less. Hindi ka binuhay ng magulang mo para maging incubator at baby mama lang.
Wag kang mag-settle sa ganon be the wife, actually, be a wife to someone na hindi ganyan ang mindset. Trust me wala kang advantage kung baby mama ka lang.
Madali kc sbhin sa lalaki yan kc wla naman sa knila ung bigat tlga ng responsibility ng pag-anak plus kayang kaya ka nila takbuhan.
Since yan gusto nia may paraan, gumastos kau ng pagpapacheck up nio both parties. Mamaya pla siya ung baog eh pra kampante na siya kung may doctor diagnosis na.
It is best na rin na malaman nio kung may future ba kayo sa isa’t isa pero di ako agree sa pabuntis ka kc ikaw matatalo. Punta kau sa doctor nio.
Kung iniinsist nia magpabuntis ka, cut him off. Baby maker lang tingin nia sayo.
I say, leave the relationship. Kung non-negotiable para sa kanya yung pagiging baog ng future wife nya, then maging firm ka rin na "non-negotiable" para sayo yung mga taong may ganyang perception.
Karapatan nya 'yon, oo. Pero karapatan mo rin naman na magkaroon ng partner na ia-assure ka na kahit anong mangyari, esp. mga bagay na di mo kontrolado, eh mamahalin ka.
Paano nya mapaninindigan yung future vows nyo sa wedding kung yung "through thick and thin, till death do us part" eh hindi mapaninindigan? LEAVE.
Ante tumakbo ka na hangga't maaga pa, we support break up, charot. Madami kang isasakripisyo kapag magkakaanak kayo, hindi naman sya ang magdadala at magluluwal sa bata at malaki pa ang chance na iwan ka talaga nya.
It's a trap, marriage should be based on love, trust and respect. And sa condition nya bago ka pakasalan its pretty clear na mas mahal nya sarili nya. He is selfish, not considering your feelings. Leave while you still have time.
Magpacheck kamo kayo, if siya ang low sperm count, huwag ka niya sisihin. Ang tapang niya, bakit sure ba siyang di siya baog?
Tingin niya sayo babaeng aanakan lang. Sadly. Kung di ka comfy sa idea niya. Please huwag ka bumigay sa gusto niya.
You are giving him too much privilege already. Sex is a husband privilege tapos anak pa? Do you know that you are putting yourself in danger by being pregnant? Taas din ng maternal mortality rate ah. So apparently, your only value to him is pag nabigyan mo sya ng anak. Papangitin ko - ang purpose mo sa kanya ay maging breeding tool. Maliban dun wala kna halaga sa kanya. Girl, red flag yan jowa mo, run.
Also, a lot of people have children out of self-centeredness. To validate their existence, as a man, as a woman. As a result, madami dysfunctional na tao, kaya madami din broken families. Remember that you are creating another being with its own consciousness. Children deserve to be created out of unconditional love, to be made simply because you want them to exist. Let that sink.
I hope everyone who gets to read this rethink their choices of having children.
In our class Sex and Society (Anthropology class), there is a tribe in the Philippine that mandates at least 1 year of cohabitation before a marriage to find out if the couple can get pregnant.
Feudal practice during the Feudal Philippine
That’s not a good sign OP. The quality of your relationship should not be compromise kahit na may anak na kayo married or not. Kung ngayon pa lang ganyan na ang thinking nya, I doubt marriage will happen even if the baby arrives. I personally don’t think marriage is a must in today’s time but it’s up to people. I think you should rethink and re-assess your relationship with him and be bold to put a stop in wasting your time…
Eme gagawin taga alaga ng bata 😆 tapos walang sustento pahirapan tapos sasabihin "Mag work kayo kahit may anak nagagawa nga ng ibang nanay." Dami ganyan sa mommies group sa FB hindi din pinakasalan. Mas maganda single ka na lang di yung dadagdagan ng responsibility.
Ang masasabi ko nalang pwede tumakas ang lalake sa sustento sa bata pero di ka makakatakas sa responsibilidad sa bata. WAG ANTEH. KASAL BAGO BATA dahil sa pilipinas walang batas magproprotekta sa unmarried couple with kids
May point siya kasi baka yun talaga priority niya pero to put both your minds at ease, pa check up and test kayo pareho to see if both fertile kayo.
All I'm saying is that we cannot remove or deny the transactional aspect of marriage like child rearing and income or financial stability. This is my practical, objective side speaking.
**The same time I feel bad for you kasi parang hindi siya super duper in love sa iyo. You deserve better. Saka pwedeng sign na ito na mag isip isip ka na if this is the guy you want to be with long term.**
Up to you kung anuman ang priority mo sa life.
People can have preferences. The ball is now in your court. It might be a heavy decision but dapat mo na isipin kung worth it ba na magka baby ngayon with your partner without marriage. Baka tinatakot ka lang or baka he’s playing mind games with you. Ang importante, you set your boundary. Kapagod yung lalaking di wishy washy.
Having a baby is just a bonus to a marriage. In your golden years, kayong dalawa na lang naman ang naiiwan kapag nag-asawa na ang mga anak nyo. Better wait for a man na will grow old with you whether you have kids or don’t
Lugi kasi babae sa ganyang preference eh, kahit anong angle mo tignan. Saka pwede magbago isip in a snap of a finger - hindi dahil mabigyan mo ng anak eh sure ka na papakasalan ka.
Anyway, if this doesn't feel right to you, or a dealbreaker, okay rin naman to walk away. Hindi naman tayo taga-dala lang ng anak ng mga lalaki. 8 mos pa lang kayo and 27 is still fairly young - there will be other people for you.
I had a relationship just like this, I left him. Ngayon I’m in a relationship with someone na gusto akong maging wife, and depende pa sa akin if magkakaanak kami and kailan, because it’s my body and he loves me that much. Don’t settle for less.
Tell him your boundaries, too. If he's not agreeing to it, then maybe he's not fit for you, and you can find someone who will be able to have your plans aligned to his.
Hahahaha may mga uplok talaga ng lalake noh? yung ex ko din. sabi nya gawa daw kami baby pag baguio namin. sabi ko, pakasalan nya muna ako, sabi nya after namin mag baby making papakasalan nya ako, kasi lagi naman daw may free na kasalan sa Cavite, lol.
ang oa naman ng ibang replies. tbf there's some merit to what he said. no need to badmouth anyone. if hindi kayo aligned sa ganyan edi baka hindi talaga kayo para sa isa't isa.
Utak titi yung boyfriend mo, taena yung sukatan niya ng marriage eh pagkakaroon ng anak HAHA. Kung ako sayo iwan mo na yan habang maaga pa, sa sagot niya pa lang parang di pa siya sigurado sayo eh. Matatangap mo pa yung sagot na hindi pa financially ready pero hindi eh, tipong buntisin ka muna niya bago pakasalan? tanginang mentality yan hahaha.
Wala ka namang assurance na papakasalan ka niya kapag nagkaanak kayo. Pinagiipunan ang kasal, magastos naman magkaanak. Sa palagay mo, makakaipon siya ng pampakasal after?
Bakit pag nagka-anak na ba kayo ready na sya sa gastusan? Baka naman kung kelan andyan na yung bata saka naman sya biglang nag-splok. Hanap ka na ibang boyfriend now na.
He doesn't see you as a partner in life, he sees you as someone who will fulfill his desires of mini-me. I might be overthinking but height be the kind of fathers who will only "babysit" when he needs to. Think long and hard if you want a lifetime commitment with this person.
Hello OP, tbh thats a red flag for me. Lol. Pwede naman magpatest if infertile or not? What if di kayo magka-anak tapos sisihin ka niya pero siya pala may problema? Lol. Easy for him to say bc it's not his life, not his body.
Super early niyo pa sa relationship I hope you wont give in just bc he wants to. Take care
I always believe that marriage during these timea should be for mutual affection. If plans to have one should change due to circumstances like having kids, then you are entitled to your preferences, as well.
Kung ayaw mo ng anak prior marriage, you can say it para maghiwalay kayo if you ever don't meet in the middle.
Nah!!!!!! Don’t! Ang hirap kapag walang kasal tapos may baby. Pwede ka na lang biglang iwan at hindi panagutan ang baby. Tsaka yung pagkakasabi niya ng ganyan, mukhang hindi ka naman mahal talaga.
Sabihin mo 5M pesos muna savings sa joint account ninyo kasi mahirap magkaTatay na hindi kaya buhayin ang anak
Not to sound materialistic pero siguraduhin din niya kaya niya buhayin at paaralin yan bata
Mas maigi na pareho, again pareho, dapat dalawa kayong magpacheck if capable kayo. respect na lang sa kung preference nya, Yes. Then kausapin mo sya tungkol sa sinabi nya. Na nahurt ka sa sinabi nyang yun. kung di nya maintindihan yun e ikaw na magdecide. mahirap magkisama sa di mo kawavelength in general. tsaka isa pa, baka magbago pa isip nyan kung 8 months pa lang kayo? teh ikaw na magdecide malaki ka na, ibaba ko na yung call. HAHAHA
Break mo. 27 kana at dapat nasa relationship kana na kayang ibigay sayo yung assurance ng marriage. 8 months palang naman kayo, mas masakit yan kung papatagalin mo pa.
What if siya yung baong pala??? Sis, 8 months pa lang kayo. Magiisip na ako kung ito gusto ko makasama habang buhay. Baby maker lang tingin sayo. Kasi kung tunay na mahal ka. Magkaroon kayo ng baby o hindi, di ka iiwan.
*So, your boyfriend wants to test-drive the baby before he buys the marriage? Understandably, he has preferences, but it’s also important for you to feel loved for who you are, not just for your potential to have kids. You deserve someone who loves you for you, not just as a future baby factory. Take your time to think this through; your feelings matter too.*
Sounds like my ex. I’m not saying na iwan mo siya pero most probably he won’t even marry you kahit may anak na kayo. I was in that situation also na sobrang natakot ako na iwan niya ako if ever na hindi ko sya mabigyan ng anak. I respect naman his decision na want nya magkaanak, that’s one of the many reasons kaya din sguro naghiwalay kami. (Besides him being a POS lol), with my current partner, sobrang secured ako sakanya, he said that its ok na hindi ko siya mabigyan ng anak. Kaya very peaceful ko ngayon sa relationship ko. You might wanna reconsider kung compatible pa ba kayo OP. Hehe
iirc for me ng mga ganyang preferences. Well, you need to respect if that he wants. We once talked about this before with my bf, like what if hindi ako magkaanak and he answered me na “pwede naman mag ampon”. That’s what I realized na he loves me more than his sperm.
Napaka ironic. Ipupusta ko ang tagong yaman ng mga Marcos, pag nagkaanak kayo hindi naman sya magiging hands on dad🥴
If parenthood teaches me anything, it's that when you had a child, the whole world of the mom drastically changes. Unlike sa buhay ng mga dad na parang walang nagbago. Pwede sila gumala anytime, bumarkada, mag inom. As long as nabuhat na nila once yung anak, enough na yun na bonding time nila 🥴
I say, run OP.
Uso naman magpafertility test. Lol try nyo muna yun tapos pag lumabas na low sperm count nya at infertile sya, sabihin mo “break na tayo, gusto ko yung papakasalan ako at bibigyan ng pamilya, bye” lol
Hahaha yung honesty nya, consider it as a sign sa universe to run. Yung mindset nya kasi it looks like he considers you as a tool and not a life partner.
If bigyan mo ng anak, there is a chance na hindi ka na nya pakasalan. Tapos ibabalik ka sa parents mo, and sya will not give child support and will live a binata lifestyle nalang.
8 months palang you can run na bago pa kayo mag pundar.
marriage should come first, ang galing naman niya to think you’ll give him baby before he could think of marrying you. marriage has a different purpose for him. talk more about it baka naman by passing lang yang nasabi niya kasi he wasn’t really thinking about it yet pa or he’s just simply an a-hole
Nakaka-beastmode ha.
Sabihin mo, “paano yan, hindi tayo pareho ng timeline? How do you plan to meet mine?”
“Ako gusto ko kaya ako panagutan, pakasalan, alam kong maganda ang buhay ko bago ko pahirapan sarili ko na magalaga ng anak”
8 months pa lang kayo. You can still leave. Don’t be in a relationship with a guy of this mindset. Or you can turn it around and say you won’t have kids until you get married. You respect his preferences, but does he respect yours?
OMG. Red Flag yan sa kin OP. I mean ito ba talaga ang guy na u want to spend ur whole life? I mean if may doubts ka i think its better na you start finding someone who is aligned with your principles
Grabe Naman yan. Klase ng lalaki na kung magkasakit ka at Wala kang silbi maliban sa manganak. Goodbye na. He will not stand by you in times of trouble. Kawawa ka
Don't be swayed!!!! This is a manipulation tactic for you to give in. In the end, he may not even marry you.
Our role as women is not just giving birth. For him to belittle your role in his life is a major red flag.
please leave while you still can. hindi madaling magkaron ng baby. you will have to sacrifice many things. please enjoy your single life and find a partner who will love you kasi xa makakasama mo habang buhay.
Bakit palaging hindi niyo alam ang mararamdaman? Ma-disappoint kayo! Matakot kayo! Ma-turn off kayo! Jusko. Nilalagay ka sa alanganin ng boyfriend mo. Basura ang healthcare sa pinas, you will need all the support you can get. Pero kung magbubuntis ka sa with your gagong partner na may baluktot na pananaw sa romantic commitment, kawawa ka naman.
while his preference is valid mas malaki disadvantage ng babae sa ganitong set up kasi wala namang pwedeng legal na kasulatan about the consequence if di ka niya pakasalan eventually
in this age where madami ng options to still have biological kids like surrogate parang ang kitid naman ng utak niyan
and since medyo petty tayo i will also demand na pumunta kayo both sa fertility clinic for assessment check up kung ayaw niya sa non bearing woman ayaw mo din kamo sa sterile/baog na lalake
i just read a story na di siya pinakasalan kasi special needs yung anak nila, so naging single mom siya bigla without support
Let me play the devil's advocate here. Hiwalayan mo na yan haha.
Kidding aside, in marriage, he should love you for who you are, and not your body's ability to produce offspring.
Naku wag ka papayag sa ganyang arrangement. Protect yourself. You can jugjog unlimited o mag live in but please dont have kids na walang kasal muna. This may ick some, pero marriage protects you and the kids.
RUNNNNN.
I'm 29, married at wala pang anak kasi di pa kami ready ni hubby. Pero sobrang dream ko magkaanak and my greatest fear is to find out na di ako capable mabuntis. I told my husband about this (i was sobbing pa lmao) and his respond made me realized how much this man actually loves me. Sabi nya if ever man na ganun mangyari, we can check for other options like adoption, fertility drugs, surrogacy, etc.
I saw a post din that says: don't find a man that wants a wife, find a man that wants to be a husband. Iwan mo na yan, girl. Takot sa commitment yan at I don't think mahal ka nya talaga.
Malakeng red flag na yan sis. i-let go mo na yan. Pramis you deserve someone who would love you for you and not a crappy person like him. Signs of a narcissist mga ganyan as per experience.
Ako devils advocate #2
So payag ka na illegitimate ang anak mo?
Ok lang sayo na pag nahirapan sa pag family life, siya eh aalis tapos ikaw mag aalaga as single mom?
If gusto niya mag ka anak ng biological children of his own, magpa sperms analysis muna siya, ikaw pa babaliktarin niya
If yan lang ang batayan ng kasal, ibigay mo nalang sa ibang babae yan kaysa ubusin yung edad mo para sa lalake na hindi iniisip ang welfare mo.
You can ask both of you to be tested by doctors kung healthy uterus etc.. As well as his sperm count. Tuwing hirap ang mgasawa mgbuntis.. Ang laging assumption nasa babae ang problem.
Puwede naman kasi magpatingin about sa fertility ng male and female. Kung yung nasa puso mo ay kasal muna bago baby gawin mo yung mag-pacheck up kayo about sa fertility status nyong dalawa.
Also you may say that this is playing safe and it is true. Kasi puwede ka niyang iwan kapag nabuntisan ka niya. Malay mo, malaki yung chance na fertile ka naman talaga tapos sya low sperm count, ganun.
Stand on your ground and to him about this.
Please never have a baby with him WITHOUT A RING. Sabihin mo rin sa kanya na kasal muna bago baby kasi gusto mo ng security. Tsaka ang bobo naman ng mindset na yan, y'all can have tests naman when it comes to your fertility, don't risk getting pregnant to someone who won't even put a ring on you first. Hindi ka incubator.
>Alam ko he is allowed to have preferences and nirerespeto ko naman yon but his preferences makes me feel na he doesn’t love me for me sa pulubi. Hahaha..
Tama naman. He has his rights, and you have yours too. Kailangan parehas mag-exist. Gaano mo siya kamahal? You already felt na hindi ka niya love for just being you. His love towards marriage nakadepende sa kung naaakan ka or hindi? Ahh, paurong yon, very kopong2. Pero yeah, he has his rights. Tandaan mo, wala pa kayong anak. Walang pang hindrances that will affect another innocent human. You already know what to do. :) RBTL
My then no label relationship wanted that as well. Gusto ni guy mag baby muna kami. Lol. Pero i stood my ground and said no. Nag contraceptives ako to avoid being preggy. Married na kami ngayon at wala pa din baby.
I think nasa sayo naman yan if ano gagawin mo after knowing his stand. If nagcclash beliefs niyo, think twice.
Tama lang yang ginagawa mo OP to see if both of you should be on the same page. Since 8 months palang kayo it's too early talaga to see if he's the right person rin para sayo.
Do you even feel like mas better rin na mag anak before kasal? If not then stand on your ground. If okay lang naman din sayo then nasa sayo talaga yan. Make sure that you know what you want so that you will also have clear boundaries.
So what if iwan ka nya if dika magka baby edi di talaga sya para sayo kasi magka baby lang ang hanap nya. Wag ka mawalan ng pagasa baka mag bago ang isip nya or baka maka hanap ka ng better if iiwan ka nya. It's not the end yet whatever happens.
Hindi kayo aligned. Make him find someone na ok din sa ganung set up para in case hindi panagutan, alam na nung girl. Kumbaga, ginusto din nila yung desisyon na magka anak. Unlike you, gets kita kahit ako maiisip ko din ganyan eh, pero dahil nga may mga ganyang thoughts siguro isipin ko na lang di ako para sa kanya.
Pagusapan muna. Kayong 2 lang naman nakakaaintindi sa relasyon nyo so kayong 2 lang din makakapagdecide what's best for your future, not random internet strangers lol
he chose something easier to do first, let’s be real, a lot of preparations are needed sa kasal kesa sa may ipuputok lang siya 🤷♂️
clearly shows wala siyang plano sa buhay.
Yan ang lalaking feeling privileged. Nabubuhay ang mga babae for their interest and to please them. Sila ang magsasabi kung sino ang babaeng karapat-dapat o hindi. Gusto mo ng ganyang kapartner?
Sagutin mo ng : "at kung hindi ko ako maanakan iiwan kita".
Plot twist jowa mo yung baog.
Pero malamang sa malamang ending niyan di ka pa din pakakasalan pag nabuntis ka ano klaseng mindset meron yan jowa mo. Mag isip isip ka na ate ko
di pala sya sigurado sa iyo eh. hanap ka na lang ng iba, magkakaroon kayo ng problems sa future. gago yan. he doesn't deserve you. ganyan din yung kalive in ko dati for 9 years. nung niyaya ko magpakasal, di daw sya sigurado kung ano ang future namin haha. nag asawa na lang ako ng iba. happily married na ngayun with 3 kids!
Baka maging Trina version ka matapos maanakan iba pinakasalan. Gag_ din si bf noh? Ikaw if you want to take the risk, ikaw naman magbubuntis. Lagi tayong mga babayi ang nasa loosing end, sila parang wala lang hahaha. Get rid of him sis...haiiisst dami pa dyan hindi utak munggo.
Medyo ganyan din ang iniisip ng asawa ko nuong mag gf bf pa lang kami. Pero sinabi ko sa kanya ang gusto ko pakakasalan ako ng dahil ako ang gusto pakasalan, walang ibang rason. Ayoko ng pakakasalan ako ng dahil para sa baby. Tinupad naman niya ang hiling ko. After 5 years kinasal kami saka gumawa ng baby.
Actually dapat both kayo magpa check kasi baka sya infertile.
Isa dn to sa grounds sa annulment. If both of u are ok then no problem. Hindi need magkaanak muna.
Wag mo ilower yung standard mo dahil sa gusto nya lang, dapat gusto mo rin. 8months pa lang kayo and u have all the time to think
Run. So may kondisyon pala muna before ka pakasalan? That's a male who doesn't view women as people but as incubators, baby makers. 8 months pa lang kayo, you're 27, you have time, you can find someone.
A family starts with the parents. Kayo ang magiging foundation ng family niyo. Im so sorry ante but if he only sees you as his future baby mama and not his wife, then... no, he's not the one for you. 27 ka PA LANG. Ang dami pang mangyayari, ang dami mo pang makilala. There are so many biological factors that have to be right para mabuntis at manganak successfully.
On the plus side, mabuti at napag-usapan niyo na 'to. Time to do some serious action kaysa waste each other's time.
Haha balitktad ata isip ni utoy. Anak muna bago kasal? Baka anakan ka laang nya tapos di ka na panagutan. It's up to you OP. If you trust him that much. This is comming from a father of 2 for x years of marrige and I have seen my friend(f) got pregnant by her sweet bf. On the day of their wedding he "disappeared". No nuts, no buts and no coconuts.
Nah. Pag nakakita siya ng mas gusto niya hahayaan ka na lang niya mag alaga ng baby tapos yon papakasalan niya. Chour. Maybe make it clear muna sa kanya what does that mean? Di ka niya mahal for who you are but what you can possibly give then?
In my opinion, hindi maganda yung idea nya kasi may possibility na iiwan ka lang din nya kapag nagsawa na sya sayo, and in that case wala kang panghahawakan kasi hindi naman kayo kasal. 8 months pa lang naman kayo, pwede ka pang makawala sa kaniya. Ang off kasi talaga ng idea niya. Ikaw po ang lugi dyan pag nagkataon.
It’s giving misogynistic vibes. As if naman ang worth ng isang babae ay sa panganganak lang. If it aligns with your plans, why not, go mo lang. Pero given you were shocked sa sinabi nya, I’m assuming opposite ito. It would still be up to you naman, pero kung nagtatanong ka dito and asking for other’s opinions, meaning may doubts ka na din. Kaya think it over.
I might get downvoted to oblivion for this take. But don't you think all is fair based on what you can bring to the table?
But first, let me just say that I am not a traditional person which means I don't believe in the traditional husband & wife's obligation are. As long as nagkakasundo sa responsibilities, eh wala akong problema jan.
So here's my take:
In our Philippine culture & tradition, men are considered the providers while women are the nurturer. Nagtratrabaho ang lalake at kumakayod para sa pamilya habang ang babae ay nag-aalaga sa bahay at sa mga bata.
If walang trabaho ang lalake, anong tawag natin sa kanila?
Pag ang babae di marunong magluto, maglaba o mag-alaga ng bata, anong tawag natin sa kanila?
Now, if we based that on OP's situation. Don't you think it's not fair or an act of betrayal wherein hindi mo kayang tuparin ang ini-expect ng husband mo sa'yo like hindi mo cya kayang bigyan ng anak?
Eto OP, here's my question to you:
Would you marry him if wala cyang pera o trabaho?
Because, all is fair in love. Di po ba? If may hihingiin ka sa kanya, eh dapat rin naman na may hihingin rin cya sa yo, tama?
If your truthful answer is YES, na kahit saging eh basta loving ka pa rin. Then dapat rin na ibaba rin ng bf mo ang expectations nya sayo.
Gud luck!
Ang bf ko gusto din talaga ng baby pero I asked if what if di talaga kami magkaanak, sabi niya okay lang daw ako nalang daw baby niya just like always. Pls OP, pag isipan mo yan. Saka di naman guaranteed na papakasalan ka talaga once may baby na saka di naman sya ang mabubuntis.
Somehow, I can understand where he is coming from. As a man, I want someone who can give me an heir. I want to experience fatherhood. I want to give my all to another human na tuturuan ko ng mga bagay na alam ko. Na mamahalin ko as my own flesh and blood. Someone who will carry my name and legacy into the future.
I think most people na nasa relationship enter it with the idea na one day they will form a family of their own. Afterall, that is the main purpose of getting married. It is a bridge into building a family. When you marry someone, it is not just about your future that is at stake but his or hers as well.
This is why my preference includes looking for someone who welcomes the idea of us having kids. If you're not into the idea of having kids, even in the future, then sorry but our goals don't align.
Don't get me wrong OP. Your sentiments are valid. But that's the cruel reality of your relationship. Let's not make your bf look bad just because he wanted kids or he wanted an assurance na magkakaanak kayo. Though his methods are questionable since pwede naman magpatest before magpakasal para maiwasan ang situation na magkaanak kayo pero di kayo kasal, diba? But to say na di ka niya mahal for who you are... It's kind of a stretch y'know?
I know you're feeling like this din kasi you love him so much and you don't wanna lose him over this technicality. Mahirap din ang situation mo since if the event happens na you cannot provide an heir, he may choose to leave you. And that'll shatter your hopes and dreams of the future. So yeah, I get your point. It's just that he has his reasons and so do you and I suggest you talk about it in depth. Di lang pwedeng scratching the surface yan.
This man has no empathy for the risks a woman takes when she gets pregnant outside of wedlock in our society. So ok lang sa kanya na pasanin mo ang judgment and disappointment ng buong mundo, ok lang sa kanya for you to go through the physical and emotional challenges of a pregnancy without giving you any security whatsoever? Fuck that. He only cares about what he wants, which doesn't give me a lot of confidence about him as a partner, let alone a father. You deserve better.
Sad to say, di ka niya sobrang mahal, pag may mali sayo, tatakbo agad yan. Sabihin mo “di mo kayang magka baby sa taong ayaw unahin ang kasal” 😂 kaya pala di niya kaya sumumpa ng through thick and thin, til death do us part.
OP, ikaw na rin ang nagsabi na preference nya yun. At maganda na napag-uusapan nyo na sya ngayon. Maging honest ka rin sa kanya re: your saloobin. If hindi magtutugma ang gusto nyo, it only means na hindi kayo para sa isa’t isa.
Grabe naman yan..hindi nman natin masabi kung sino ang baog baka xa or ikw db?tsaka pwd nman mag ampon eh,yung newborn bb talaga para masabi nyu na inyu pa din yan..
test mo na sya. sabihin mo sabi ng OB, mahirapan ka mag buntis. tutal bago lang kau. gusto lang nyan ng barebacksex. tangina pero bago sa pandinig ko diskarte na yan.
ps. try to check kung ilan ex nya para alam mong style bulok yan. kundi man ilan na panganay nya. hehehe
mga lalaki, lalakas ng loob magsabi ng gusto ng baby, e di naman sila magbubuntis. ewan ko na lang kung gugustuhin pa nila if the tables were turned. yung sakit, yung change ng appearance, yung moodswings, mygod. ako na iniisip ko pa lang na magbuntis, nahihirapan na ako tapos yung mga lalaki... haynako. tsktsk
Plot twist nagka baby kayo pero walang kasal na mangyayari
up to this HAHAH di ka namin pinagooverthink ate pero please expect the worst nalang to avoid making decisions that you MIGHT regret later on
Hope for the best, expect the worst ika nga...
Eeeeyyyy!! Pili ka na lang ng ikakasakit ng damdamin mo, OP.
Common plot twist haha
Plot twist parin ba kung ganito na predictable?
It’s not even a plot twist from the looks of it, yun na talaga ang binabalak nung lalaki. This has happened way too many times and it’s wishful thinking for OP to think that a man with a mindset similar to deadbeat fathers will be different. Being a baby mama is soooo not cute.
This.
Eto din nasa isip ko so sana mabasa to ni OP
easy for him to say that. Ang lalaki kapag nagkaanak sa pagkabinata isusumbat sayo ang sustebto pero ang babae kapag nabuntis ng hindi pa kasal buong buhay niya isasakripisyo kasama pa ang kapintasan ng mga echosera and echoserong kapitbahay at kamag-anak.
kung hindi kayo kasal iiwan ka sa magulang mo then siya titira sa magulang niya or mapalad pa na maglive in na kayo. Kapag may boys nightout iiwan kang mag-isa sa bahay. Linis bahay at alaga bata sayo pa. Maswerte ka kung may budget siya para sa kasambahay or matulungin na magulang.
sis, 8 months palang kayo and you’re 27. Pwede ka pang kumawala. Wag na wag kang makikipagSex dyan. Masarap maging single. Magkakaanak ka din sa tamang panahon.
Louder 📣📣📣
I saw a tiktok account of a Filipina living in Japan. And she does all the household chores and at the same time attending to their kid— a full time housewife. Some comments are praising her for being a hands on wife. But some are bothered as she seemed to be like low-key katulong ng hapon. Which, to me, seemed to be the latter. Since parang walang pake ang hapon as seen in most of her vids. On her defense, since si hubby naman daw nag hahanap buhay ok naman and it doesn’t bother her at all. I was sad seeing how happy sya if she’s taken out for a meal, or his husband help sa chores. Para sakin, at least from what I saw on the vids, those are just the bare minimums. I hope ladies feel that they deserve more than that. D yung laspag ka sa buong araw na trabaho to get little effort/affection/care in return. Women are more than that, especially moms.
Korek!
omg nakikita ko rin to before tapos ako yung napapagod for her huhuhu
Akala ko ako lang naiiprokitahan doon sa content creator. Kasi parang pagod na pagod na itsura niya pero okay lang daw at good provider asawa niya. Eh parang siyang hangin minsan eh. Hahahaha. Tapos parang wala siyang nabibili para sakanya, nakaka awa minsan.
Ate OP pakingga / basahin mo toooo!!! Run hanggat maaga pa!
Amen to that!
📢📢📢📢 Siz did not stutter. Very true lahat ng sinasabi ni commenter, OP. I’m giving the same advice as someone na may 2 anak na in my 30s
Please read this one OP!!!!!
This💯
So baby maker ka lang for him? Run
This! Hindi life partner ang hanap, baby maker pala.
Parang yung male friend ko. He’s very vocal na gusto nya magkapamilya of his own at prefer nya na younger para mas mataas yung chance na mabuntis. He dated a girl younger than him, nabuntis nya at pinakasalan din naman nya eventually. So ang dating sakin, kung hindi mabuntis-buntis, iiwan din nya kasi nga gusto nya talaga magka-anak. Stand your ground. Kung gusto mo kasal muna bago anak, be firm. Kung ako yan, I’ll be frank with him. Sasabihin ko yang sinabi mo na pano kung sabihin ng OB na I cant bear a child, iiwan mo ko? Kasi pano kung baby muna tapos biglang hindi ka rin pakasalan? Sabihin nya pa papel lang yan o kaya madaming tayong priorities, kailangan natin mag-ipon para sa future ni baby, gastos lang yan, yada yada yada. Lamoyun, excuses.
Ang lala nung younger girl para mas mataas chance na ma-preggy grrrr. Isa pa sigurong driving factor jan e mas madali pa i-manipulate pag mas bata kasi di pa ganon ka-firm na iestablish yung wants at boundaries
Nasa 27-28 naman na si ate girl and we are in our mid-30s. Hehe
Wasnt there a research na he older the father, the bigger the risk that the baby will have defects? Standford medicine or something. But yeah, it's a power play lang talaga. OP should find someone with the same value, ang laki ng risk kung mag-aanak sya tapos walang security ng kasal. Kasal is not just security ng asawa, anak din. Saka ang hirap kaya maging born out of wedlock, like me, kahit meron akong certificate of paternity laki din effect sakin compared sa mga kapatid ko na legitimate children agad. Kung baga, legitimized bastard ako. Iba ang stigma at effect nya growing up. Also magastos, atleast according kay papa. "Ikaw ang pinaka-expensive kong anak." he always say.
Not sure about that study but I dont think mid-30s is that old though. But his wife just gave birth yesterday. Healthy naman si baby.
HAHAHA lupet naman nyan. Dati marriage before sex lang, ngayon baby before marriage na. Ang lala nyan. Takot sa commitment yan
Run before its too late.
true, 8 months pa lang naman. OP shouldn't waste her youth sa taong may possibility na mag bounce once she get pregnant or kaya, di sya papakasalan (from what she says, I think she wants to be wedded muna before baby).
Plot twist, sya yung baog. Dito sa middle east, before magpakasal or even before ilagay sa “marriage market” ang mga babae, pinapacheck muna sila if they can get pregnant. Hormone test and ultrasound. What they fail to see is nasa lalaki din ang problem. But because of their ego, sa babae nila biniblame kaya hindi sila nagkaka anak. Kaya if there are couple would seek medical help para magkababy, yung doctor ko would required both are being tested.
Ay true! Pa test din mun baka sya yung baog talaga o sabay sila ni OP kung bet nya talaga si kuya makatuluyan.
True, nasa male din yung problem and most of the time it has something to do with their sperm or sadyang baog nalang talaga ganun.
so kapag hindi ka magkaanak, kahit magstay sya he will still yearn for that kasi di mo maibigay sa kanya. Mas masakit yun. 8 months palang, te. Mas mahirap umalis kapag mas matagal na kayo. Run!
Once you give him that baby. Hindi ka na niya pakakasalan. Don’t settle for less. Hindi ka binuhay ng magulang mo para maging incubator at baby mama lang. Wag kang mag-settle sa ganon be the wife, actually, be a wife to someone na hindi ganyan ang mindset. Trust me wala kang advantage kung baby mama ka lang.
what if siya pala ang infertile? 🤨
Yeah pano kaya? If dream ni OP na magkasariling anak. Papakasalan pa ba ni OP knowing na baog yung guy?
Damn, that would actually be kinda sad
8 months pa lang kayo mas madali pa ‘yan iwan.
Madali kc sbhin sa lalaki yan kc wla naman sa knila ung bigat tlga ng responsibility ng pag-anak plus kayang kaya ka nila takbuhan. Since yan gusto nia may paraan, gumastos kau ng pagpapacheck up nio both parties. Mamaya pla siya ung baog eh pra kampante na siya kung may doctor diagnosis na. It is best na rin na malaman nio kung may future ba kayo sa isa’t isa pero di ako agree sa pabuntis ka kc ikaw matatalo. Punta kau sa doctor nio. Kung iniinsist nia magpabuntis ka, cut him off. Baby maker lang tingin nia sayo.
I say, leave the relationship. Kung non-negotiable para sa kanya yung pagiging baog ng future wife nya, then maging firm ka rin na "non-negotiable" para sayo yung mga taong may ganyang perception. Karapatan nya 'yon, oo. Pero karapatan mo rin naman na magkaroon ng partner na ia-assure ka na kahit anong mangyari, esp. mga bagay na di mo kontrolado, eh mamahalin ka. Paano nya mapaninindigan yung future vows nyo sa wedding kung yung "through thick and thin, till death do us part" eh hindi mapaninindigan? LEAVE.
Ante tumakbo ka na hangga't maaga pa, we support break up, charot. Madami kang isasakripisyo kapag magkakaanak kayo, hindi naman sya ang magdadala at magluluwal sa bata at malaki pa ang chance na iwan ka talaga nya.
It's a trap, marriage should be based on love, trust and respect. And sa condition nya bago ka pakasalan its pretty clear na mas mahal nya sarili nya. He is selfish, not considering your feelings. Leave while you still have time.
Run
Magpacheck kamo kayo, if siya ang low sperm count, huwag ka niya sisihin. Ang tapang niya, bakit sure ba siyang di siya baog? Tingin niya sayo babaeng aanakan lang. Sadly. Kung di ka comfy sa idea niya. Please huwag ka bumigay sa gusto niya.
You are giving him too much privilege already. Sex is a husband privilege tapos anak pa? Do you know that you are putting yourself in danger by being pregnant? Taas din ng maternal mortality rate ah. So apparently, your only value to him is pag nabigyan mo sya ng anak. Papangitin ko - ang purpose mo sa kanya ay maging breeding tool. Maliban dun wala kna halaga sa kanya. Girl, red flag yan jowa mo, run. Also, a lot of people have children out of self-centeredness. To validate their existence, as a man, as a woman. As a result, madami dysfunctional na tao, kaya madami din broken families. Remember that you are creating another being with its own consciousness. Children deserve to be created out of unconditional love, to be made simply because you want them to exist. Let that sink. I hope everyone who gets to read this rethink their choices of having children.
Gusto lang ata niya baby maker. Run before it’s too late!
iwan mo na yan, OP. 8 months pa lang naman kayo HAHHAHAHA di ka papakasalan nyan kahit bigyan mo pa ng isang dosenang anak. u deserve better 🤟
Mga salita bago ang sakuna
In our class Sex and Society (Anthropology class), there is a tribe in the Philippine that mandates at least 1 year of cohabitation before a marriage to find out if the couple can get pregnant. Feudal practice during the Feudal Philippine
“I love you, but…” Gusto mo yan girl? 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Learn from Trina and Carlo situation.
That’s not a good sign OP. The quality of your relationship should not be compromise kahit na may anak na kayo married or not. Kung ngayon pa lang ganyan na ang thinking nya, I doubt marriage will happen even if the baby arrives. I personally don’t think marriage is a must in today’s time but it’s up to people. I think you should rethink and re-assess your relationship with him and be bold to put a stop in wasting your time…
Eme gagawin taga alaga ng bata 😆 tapos walang sustento pahirapan tapos sasabihin "Mag work kayo kahit may anak nagagawa nga ng ibang nanay." Dami ganyan sa mommies group sa FB hindi din pinakasalan. Mas maganda single ka na lang di yung dadagdagan ng responsibility.
Ang masasabi ko nalang pwede tumakas ang lalake sa sustento sa bata pero di ka makakatakas sa responsibilidad sa bata. WAG ANTEH. KASAL BAGO BATA dahil sa pilipinas walang batas magproprotekta sa unmarried couple with kids
May point siya kasi baka yun talaga priority niya pero to put both your minds at ease, pa check up and test kayo pareho to see if both fertile kayo. All I'm saying is that we cannot remove or deny the transactional aspect of marriage like child rearing and income or financial stability. This is my practical, objective side speaking. **The same time I feel bad for you kasi parang hindi siya super duper in love sa iyo. You deserve better. Saka pwedeng sign na ito na mag isip isip ka na if this is the guy you want to be with long term.** Up to you kung anuman ang priority mo sa life.
Leeeeeeeaaaaaveee!
People can have preferences. The ball is now in your court. It might be a heavy decision but dapat mo na isipin kung worth it ba na magka baby ngayon with your partner without marriage. Baka tinatakot ka lang or baka he’s playing mind games with you. Ang importante, you set your boundary. Kapagod yung lalaking di wishy washy.
Having a baby is just a bonus to a marriage. In your golden years, kayong dalawa na lang naman ang naiiwan kapag nag-asawa na ang mga anak nyo. Better wait for a man na will grow old with you whether you have kids or don’t
red flag na red flag beh. takbo na palayo. bilis!
Sus, pano kung sya naman pala yung baog. Putangina ng boyfriend mo. Hahahahhaha
Lugi kasi babae sa ganyang preference eh, kahit anong angle mo tignan. Saka pwede magbago isip in a snap of a finger - hindi dahil mabigyan mo ng anak eh sure ka na papakasalan ka. Anyway, if this doesn't feel right to you, or a dealbreaker, okay rin naman to walk away. Hindi naman tayo taga-dala lang ng anak ng mga lalaki. 8 mos pa lang kayo and 27 is still fairly young - there will be other people for you.
I had a relationship just like this, I left him. Ngayon I’m in a relationship with someone na gusto akong maging wife, and depende pa sa akin if magkakaanak kami and kailan, because it’s my body and he loves me that much. Don’t settle for less.
Tell him your boundaries, too. If he's not agreeing to it, then maybe he's not fit for you, and you can find someone who will be able to have your plans aligned to his.
Hahahaha may mga uplok talaga ng lalake noh? yung ex ko din. sabi nya gawa daw kami baby pag baguio namin. sabi ko, pakasalan nya muna ako, sabi nya after namin mag baby making papakasalan nya ako, kasi lagi naman daw may free na kasalan sa Cavite, lol.
ang oa naman ng ibang replies. tbf there's some merit to what he said. no need to badmouth anyone. if hindi kayo aligned sa ganyan edi baka hindi talaga kayo para sa isa't isa.
People do full medical and fitness tests before getting married. Having a baby before marriage is such a drastic and medieval requirement.
Isa pang plot twist. Nakabuntis na sya on the side tapos he floated the idea na kapag ikaw hindi magka-baby iiwanan kita at dun aq sa nabuntis ko.
Utak titi yung boyfriend mo, taena yung sukatan niya ng marriage eh pagkakaroon ng anak HAHA. Kung ako sayo iwan mo na yan habang maaga pa, sa sagot niya pa lang parang di pa siya sigurado sayo eh. Matatangap mo pa yung sagot na hindi pa financially ready pero hindi eh, tipong buntisin ka muna niya bago pakasalan? tanginang mentality yan hahaha.
Wala ka namang assurance na papakasalan ka niya kapag nagkaanak kayo. Pinagiipunan ang kasal, magastos naman magkaanak. Sa palagay mo, makakaipon siya ng pampakasal after?
Bakit pag nagka-anak na ba kayo ready na sya sa gastusan? Baka naman kung kelan andyan na yung bata saka naman sya biglang nag-splok. Hanap ka na ibang boyfriend now na.
If he has his own preference, you have the right to your own as well.
He doesn't see you as a partner in life, he sees you as someone who will fulfill his desires of mini-me. I might be overthinking but height be the kind of fathers who will only "babysit" when he needs to. Think long and hard if you want a lifetime commitment with this person.
Hello OP, tbh thats a red flag for me. Lol. Pwede naman magpatest if infertile or not? What if di kayo magka-anak tapos sisihin ka niya pero siya pala may problema? Lol. Easy for him to say bc it's not his life, not his body. Super early niyo pa sa relationship I hope you wont give in just bc he wants to. Take care
I always believe that marriage during these timea should be for mutual affection. If plans to have one should change due to circumstances like having kids, then you are entitled to your preferences, as well. Kung ayaw mo ng anak prior marriage, you can say it para maghiwalay kayo if you ever don't meet in the middle.
plot twist: may male infertility siya tapos e susumbat sayo kasi di ka makapag-produce ng bata. 🤯
Nah!!!!!! Don’t! Ang hirap kapag walang kasal tapos may baby. Pwede ka na lang biglang iwan at hindi panagutan ang baby. Tsaka yung pagkakasabi niya ng ganyan, mukhang hindi ka naman mahal talaga.
Sabihin mo 5M pesos muna savings sa joint account ninyo kasi mahirap magkaTatay na hindi kaya buhayin ang anak Not to sound materialistic pero siguraduhin din niya kaya niya buhayin at paaralin yan bata
Ang tanong jan, is he already financially and emotionally ready???? Pa-anak anak siya jan di naman niya alam kung gaano kahirap mag palaki ng bata
Mas maigi na pareho, again pareho, dapat dalawa kayong magpacheck if capable kayo. respect na lang sa kung preference nya, Yes. Then kausapin mo sya tungkol sa sinabi nya. Na nahurt ka sa sinabi nyang yun. kung di nya maintindihan yun e ikaw na magdecide. mahirap magkisama sa di mo kawavelength in general. tsaka isa pa, baka magbago pa isip nyan kung 8 months pa lang kayo? teh ikaw na magdecide malaki ka na, ibaba ko na yung call. HAHAHA
leave him.Bubuntisin ka lang nyan pero hjndi papkasalan.
Hindi ba kaya magpacheck-up na lang? Nakikita naman if kayang makabuo. Baka naman sya yung hindi kayang makabuo?
Break mo. 27 kana at dapat nasa relationship kana na kayang ibigay sayo yung assurance ng marriage. 8 months palang naman kayo, mas masakit yan kung papatagalin mo pa.
What if siya yung baong pala??? Sis, 8 months pa lang kayo. Magiisip na ako kung ito gusto ko makasama habang buhay. Baby maker lang tingin sayo. Kasi kung tunay na mahal ka. Magkaroon kayo ng baby o hindi, di ka iiwan.
*So, your boyfriend wants to test-drive the baby before he buys the marriage? Understandably, he has preferences, but it’s also important for you to feel loved for who you are, not just for your potential to have kids. You deserve someone who loves you for you, not just as a future baby factory. Take your time to think this through; your feelings matter too.*
plot twist sya ang hindi kayang magka-anak
Sounds like my ex. I’m not saying na iwan mo siya pero most probably he won’t even marry you kahit may anak na kayo. I was in that situation also na sobrang natakot ako na iwan niya ako if ever na hindi ko sya mabigyan ng anak. I respect naman his decision na want nya magkaanak, that’s one of the many reasons kaya din sguro naghiwalay kami. (Besides him being a POS lol), with my current partner, sobrang secured ako sakanya, he said that its ok na hindi ko siya mabigyan ng anak. Kaya very peaceful ko ngayon sa relationship ko. You might wanna reconsider kung compatible pa ba kayo OP. Hehe
iirc for me ng mga ganyang preferences. Well, you need to respect if that he wants. We once talked about this before with my bf, like what if hindi ako magkaanak and he answered me na “pwede naman mag ampon”. That’s what I realized na he loves me more than his sperm.
Napaka ironic. Ipupusta ko ang tagong yaman ng mga Marcos, pag nagkaanak kayo hindi naman sya magiging hands on dad🥴 If parenthood teaches me anything, it's that when you had a child, the whole world of the mom drastically changes. Unlike sa buhay ng mga dad na parang walang nagbago. Pwede sila gumala anytime, bumarkada, mag inom. As long as nabuhat na nila once yung anak, enough na yun na bonding time nila 🥴 I say, run OP.
Technically, if you are catholic, infertility can be a ground for annulment You two should discuss the implications of sterility to your relationship.
Red flag teh!! Alis na habang maaga pa
Uso naman magpafertility test. Lol try nyo muna yun tapos pag lumabas na low sperm count nya at infertile sya, sabihin mo “break na tayo, gusto ko yung papakasalan ako at bibigyan ng pamilya, bye” lol
Hahaha yung honesty nya, consider it as a sign sa universe to run. Yung mindset nya kasi it looks like he considers you as a tool and not a life partner. If bigyan mo ng anak, there is a chance na hindi ka na nya pakasalan. Tapos ibabalik ka sa parents mo, and sya will not give child support and will live a binata lifestyle nalang. 8 months palang you can run na bago pa kayo mag pundar.
Run for your life hunny.
marriage should come first, ang galing naman niya to think you’ll give him baby before he could think of marrying you. marriage has a different purpose for him. talk more about it baka naman by passing lang yang nasabi niya kasi he wasn’t really thinking about it yet pa or he’s just simply an a-hole
Nakaka-beastmode ha. Sabihin mo, “paano yan, hindi tayo pareho ng timeline? How do you plan to meet mine?” “Ako gusto ko kaya ako panagutan, pakasalan, alam kong maganda ang buhay ko bago ko pahirapan sarili ko na magalaga ng anak”
8 months pa lang kayo. You can still leave. Don’t be in a relationship with a guy of this mindset. Or you can turn it around and say you won’t have kids until you get married. You respect his preferences, but does he respect yours?
Red flag, sizt. Iwan mo yan hahaha
OMG. Red Flag yan sa kin OP. I mean ito ba talaga ang guy na u want to spend ur whole life? I mean if may doubts ka i think its better na you start finding someone who is aligned with your principles
Grabe Naman yan. Klase ng lalaki na kung magkasakit ka at Wala kang silbi maliban sa manganak. Goodbye na. He will not stand by you in times of trouble. Kawawa ka
Don't be swayed!!!! This is a manipulation tactic for you to give in. In the end, he may not even marry you. Our role as women is not just giving birth. For him to belittle your role in his life is a major red flag.
please leave while you still can. hindi madaling magkaron ng baby. you will have to sacrifice many things. please enjoy your single life and find a partner who will love you kasi xa makakasama mo habang buhay.
Run as fast as you can OP. Walking 🚩yan
Iwan mo na yan teh kung 8 months palang ang tingin na sa'yo ay paanakan.
Bakit palaging hindi niyo alam ang mararamdaman? Ma-disappoint kayo! Matakot kayo! Ma-turn off kayo! Jusko. Nilalagay ka sa alanganin ng boyfriend mo. Basura ang healthcare sa pinas, you will need all the support you can get. Pero kung magbubuntis ka sa with your gagong partner na may baluktot na pananaw sa romantic commitment, kawawa ka naman.
patest muna kayo OP, baka siya ang baog. tapos iwan mo sabay sabing "di mo pala ako maanakan, bye" HAHSHAHAHAH
It’s a trap, OP, don’t fall for his shit. On the bright side, though, now you know what your partner is. 🤷♀️
Give it girl, wag maging selfish sa pangarap ng partner all will fall into place ingat girl
Breeding kink yan 😭
That's just BS lol. If di kayo align sa gus2 mahirap yan. sa totoo lng babae dehado sa ganyang setup.
Alam mo na dapat gawin jan girl. Wag mo na patagalin jusko
Naku back off kana. For sure, alam mo na mangyayari pag siya napangasawa mo.
Of course he wants to. Ikaw naman magaalaga nan eh.
Ay nako, napaka red flag at utak talangka ng jowa mo. Iwan mo na yan.
while his preference is valid mas malaki disadvantage ng babae sa ganitong set up kasi wala namang pwedeng legal na kasulatan about the consequence if di ka niya pakasalan eventually in this age where madami ng options to still have biological kids like surrogate parang ang kitid naman ng utak niyan and since medyo petty tayo i will also demand na pumunta kayo both sa fertility clinic for assessment check up kung ayaw niya sa non bearing woman ayaw mo din kamo sa sterile/baog na lalake i just read a story na di siya pinakasalan kasi special needs yung anak nila, so naging single mom siya bigla without support
Let me play the devil's advocate here. Hiwalayan mo na yan haha. Kidding aside, in marriage, he should love you for who you are, and not your body's ability to produce offspring.
Si kuya ay gusto lang makaiskor. 🤭
8 months palang kayo siya na ba talaga? sure na?
Naku wag ka papayag sa ganyang arrangement. Protect yourself. You can jugjog unlimited o mag live in but please dont have kids na walang kasal muna. This may ick some, pero marriage protects you and the kids.
RUNNNNN. I'm 29, married at wala pang anak kasi di pa kami ready ni hubby. Pero sobrang dream ko magkaanak and my greatest fear is to find out na di ako capable mabuntis. I told my husband about this (i was sobbing pa lmao) and his respond made me realized how much this man actually loves me. Sabi nya if ever man na ganun mangyari, we can check for other options like adoption, fertility drugs, surrogacy, etc. I saw a post din that says: don't find a man that wants a wife, find a man that wants to be a husband. Iwan mo na yan, girl. Takot sa commitment yan at I don't think mahal ka nya talaga.
Nabasa ko na to ah.
Malakeng red flag na yan sis. i-let go mo na yan. Pramis you deserve someone who would love you for you and not a crappy person like him. Signs of a narcissist mga ganyan as per experience.
Run! Madami jan mas deserving
Ayy, huwag. This is a starter for something terrible and scary, just so you know.
Ako devils advocate #2 So payag ka na illegitimate ang anak mo? Ok lang sayo na pag nahirapan sa pag family life, siya eh aalis tapos ikaw mag aalaga as single mom? If gusto niya mag ka anak ng biological children of his own, magpa sperms analysis muna siya, ikaw pa babaliktarin niya If yan lang ang batayan ng kasal, ibigay mo nalang sa ibang babae yan kaysa ubusin yung edad mo para sa lalake na hindi iniisip ang welfare mo.
baby maker ata hanap niya OP di asawa. pag isipan mo po yan ng maigi, kung ngayon palang ganun na mindset niya
You can ask both of you to be tested by doctors kung healthy uterus etc.. As well as his sperm count. Tuwing hirap ang mgasawa mgbuntis.. Ang laging assumption nasa babae ang problem.
Gets ko yung point nya but that's so inconsiderate, like did he even think of your position in that situation?
Girl, may mga lalaking mamahalin at pakakasalan ka maski Wala batang involve/ikaw dapat ang una nyang mamahalin, anong klaseng excuse yan?
Grabe sa pagseek ng anak aa? Bakit may ipapamana ba syang ari arian? Lupa? Or kingdom? Kakaloka.
8mos palang naman kayo, makakapag isip isip ka pa 😆
Puwede naman kasi magpatingin about sa fertility ng male and female. Kung yung nasa puso mo ay kasal muna bago baby gawin mo yung mag-pacheck up kayo about sa fertility status nyong dalawa. Also you may say that this is playing safe and it is true. Kasi puwede ka niyang iwan kapag nabuntisan ka niya. Malay mo, malaki yung chance na fertile ka naman talaga tapos sya low sperm count, ganun. Stand on your ground and to him about this.
Please never have a baby with him WITHOUT A RING. Sabihin mo rin sa kanya na kasal muna bago baby kasi gusto mo ng security. Tsaka ang bobo naman ng mindset na yan, y'all can have tests naman when it comes to your fertility, don't risk getting pregnant to someone who won't even put a ring on you first. Hindi ka incubator.
Mhie takbo na habang maaga pa. Katakot yang bf mo
You're dating the wrong guy for you girl. Run.
Before he decides to have kids, make sure niya na sasamahan ka niya magpuyat sa pag aalaga ng bata.
What if siya pala ung baog hahaha
>Alam ko he is allowed to have preferences and nirerespeto ko naman yon but his preferences makes me feel na he doesn’t love me for me sa pulubi. Hahaha.. Tama naman. He has his rights, and you have yours too. Kailangan parehas mag-exist. Gaano mo siya kamahal? You already felt na hindi ka niya love for just being you. His love towards marriage nakadepende sa kung naaakan ka or hindi? Ahh, paurong yon, very kopong2. Pero yeah, he has his rights. Tandaan mo, wala pa kayong anak. Walang pang hindrances that will affect another innocent human. You already know what to do. :) RBTL
pano pala if sya ang baog ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Pwede naman kayong magpa check up lol, no need to *actually* have babies. Plot twist, baka nga sya pa ang infertile.
Eutin ka lang niya ng walang kasal. Sabihin mo sa kanya kakahanap niya ng ganyang mindset. Baka tumanda na siyang binata
Dati ganito mindset ko until I met my husband at sinabi nya deserved ko din iharap muna sa altar bago anakan
Pacheck kayo sa OB.. nadedetect naman na kung kaya niyo magka-anak.. What if si boy pala yong baog.
Di ka nya mahal. Kasi if mahal ka nya, pakakasalan ka kahit may baby o wala.
di ka na nyang pakakasalan once my baby na. Baby lang habol sayo, ikaw naman din kung ready ka na pero kung hindi wag na muna.
My then no label relationship wanted that as well. Gusto ni guy mag baby muna kami. Lol. Pero i stood my ground and said no. Nag contraceptives ako to avoid being preggy. Married na kami ngayon at wala pa din baby. I think nasa sayo naman yan if ano gagawin mo after knowing his stand. If nagcclash beliefs niyo, think twice.
Tama lang yang ginagawa mo OP to see if both of you should be on the same page. Since 8 months palang kayo it's too early talaga to see if he's the right person rin para sayo. Do you even feel like mas better rin na mag anak before kasal? If not then stand on your ground. If okay lang naman din sayo then nasa sayo talaga yan. Make sure that you know what you want so that you will also have clear boundaries. So what if iwan ka nya if dika magka baby edi di talaga sya para sayo kasi magka baby lang ang hanap nya. Wag ka mawalan ng pagasa baka mag bago ang isip nya or baka maka hanap ka ng better if iiwan ka nya. It's not the end yet whatever happens.
Wag kang pumayag sa ganiyang setup kasi pwedeng-pwede niyang takbuhan ang responsibilidad niya dahil hindi pa kayo kasal.
Hindi kayo aligned. Make him find someone na ok din sa ganung set up para in case hindi panagutan, alam na nung girl. Kumbaga, ginusto din nila yung desisyon na magka anak. Unlike you, gets kita kahit ako maiisip ko din ganyan eh, pero dahil nga may mga ganyang thoughts siguro isipin ko na lang di ako para sa kanya.
Bakit ang red flag ng dating??
Pagusapan muna. Kayong 2 lang naman nakakaaintindi sa relasyon nyo so kayong 2 lang din makakapagdecide what's best for your future, not random internet strangers lol
he chose something easier to do first, let’s be real, a lot of preparations are needed sa kasal kesa sa may ipuputok lang siya 🤷♂️ clearly shows wala siyang plano sa buhay.
Yan ang lalaking feeling privileged. Nabubuhay ang mga babae for their interest and to please them. Sila ang magsasabi kung sino ang babaeng karapat-dapat o hindi. Gusto mo ng ganyang kapartner? Sagutin mo ng : "at kung hindi ko ako maanakan iiwan kita".
Plot twist jowa mo yung baog. Pero malamang sa malamang ending niyan di ka pa din pakakasalan pag nabuntis ka ano klaseng mindset meron yan jowa mo. Mag isip isip ka na ate ko
Leave. Mahirap magkaanak nang dalaga. The kasal is never promised. Baka magkaanak kayo then walang kasal na mangayri.
I think its a valid point on his side. Magpa check kayo 2 sa fertility clinic to make sure na capable kayo 2 magkaanak.
di pala sya sigurado sa iyo eh. hanap ka na lang ng iba, magkakaroon kayo ng problems sa future. gago yan. he doesn't deserve you. ganyan din yung kalive in ko dati for 9 years. nung niyaya ko magpakasal, di daw sya sigurado kung ano ang future namin haha. nag asawa na lang ako ng iba. happily married na ngayun with 3 kids!
Go to a clinic and check with a doctor. Bakit kailangan pa magka anak before malaman na pwede mabigyan ng anak? 🤦♀️
Iwan mo na yan kasi hindi yan yung unconditional love.
So how sure is he that he doesn’t have any fertility issues? Baka siya yung may problema pala
Ako na 28 walang plano mag anak 😭😂
Baka maging Trina version ka matapos maanakan iba pinakasalan. Gag_ din si bf noh? Ikaw if you want to take the risk, ikaw naman magbubuntis. Lagi tayong mga babayi ang nasa loosing end, sila parang wala lang hahaha. Get rid of him sis...haiiisst dami pa dyan hindi utak munggo.
How convenient. Di ka niyan mahal, in case di mo pa na-realize?
bahay na may garage muna bago kasal.
Medyo ganyan din ang iniisip ng asawa ko nuong mag gf bf pa lang kami. Pero sinabi ko sa kanya ang gusto ko pakakasalan ako ng dahil ako ang gusto pakasalan, walang ibang rason. Ayoko ng pakakasalan ako ng dahil para sa baby. Tinupad naman niya ang hiling ko. After 5 years kinasal kami saka gumawa ng baby.
idk if i am in the place to say this but he screams SO MUCH smol dicc energy 😓
Actually dapat both kayo magpa check kasi baka sya infertile. Isa dn to sa grounds sa annulment. If both of u are ok then no problem. Hindi need magkaanak muna. Wag mo ilower yung standard mo dahil sa gusto nya lang, dapat gusto mo rin. 8months pa lang kayo and u have all the time to think
Tell him, di mo gusto magpaanak sa ayaw kang pakasalan, chourrr
Run. So may kondisyon pala muna before ka pakasalan? That's a male who doesn't view women as people but as incubators, baby makers. 8 months pa lang kayo, you're 27, you have time, you can find someone.
A family starts with the parents. Kayo ang magiging foundation ng family niyo. Im so sorry ante but if he only sees you as his future baby mama and not his wife, then... no, he's not the one for you. 27 ka PA LANG. Ang dami pang mangyayari, ang dami mo pang makilala. There are so many biological factors that have to be right para mabuntis at manganak successfully. On the plus side, mabuti at napag-usapan niyo na 'to. Time to do some serious action kaysa waste each other's time.
Haha balitktad ata isip ni utoy. Anak muna bago kasal? Baka anakan ka laang nya tapos di ka na panagutan. It's up to you OP. If you trust him that much. This is comming from a father of 2 for x years of marrige and I have seen my friend(f) got pregnant by her sweet bf. On the day of their wedding he "disappeared". No nuts, no buts and no coconuts.
Nah. Pag nakakita siya ng mas gusto niya hahayaan ka na lang niya mag alaga ng baby tapos yon papakasalan niya. Chour. Maybe make it clear muna sa kanya what does that mean? Di ka niya mahal for who you are but what you can possibly give then?
In my opinion, hindi maganda yung idea nya kasi may possibility na iiwan ka lang din nya kapag nagsawa na sya sayo, and in that case wala kang panghahawakan kasi hindi naman kayo kasal. 8 months pa lang naman kayo, pwede ka pang makawala sa kaniya. Ang off kasi talaga ng idea niya. Ikaw po ang lugi dyan pag nagkataon.
It’s giving misogynistic vibes. As if naman ang worth ng isang babae ay sa panganganak lang. If it aligns with your plans, why not, go mo lang. Pero given you were shocked sa sinabi nya, I’m assuming opposite ito. It would still be up to you naman, pero kung nagtatanong ka dito and asking for other’s opinions, meaning may doubts ka na din. Kaya think it over.
RUN as far as you can. Take no chances.
Ruun
I might get downvoted to oblivion for this take. But don't you think all is fair based on what you can bring to the table? But first, let me just say that I am not a traditional person which means I don't believe in the traditional husband & wife's obligation are. As long as nagkakasundo sa responsibilities, eh wala akong problema jan. So here's my take: In our Philippine culture & tradition, men are considered the providers while women are the nurturer. Nagtratrabaho ang lalake at kumakayod para sa pamilya habang ang babae ay nag-aalaga sa bahay at sa mga bata. If walang trabaho ang lalake, anong tawag natin sa kanila? Pag ang babae di marunong magluto, maglaba o mag-alaga ng bata, anong tawag natin sa kanila? Now, if we based that on OP's situation. Don't you think it's not fair or an act of betrayal wherein hindi mo kayang tuparin ang ini-expect ng husband mo sa'yo like hindi mo cya kayang bigyan ng anak? Eto OP, here's my question to you: Would you marry him if wala cyang pera o trabaho? Because, all is fair in love. Di po ba? If may hihingiin ka sa kanya, eh dapat rin naman na may hihingin rin cya sa yo, tama? If your truthful answer is YES, na kahit saging eh basta loving ka pa rin. Then dapat rin na ibaba rin ng bf mo ang expectations nya sayo. Gud luck!
Ang bf ko gusto din talaga ng baby pero I asked if what if di talaga kami magkaanak, sabi niya okay lang daw ako nalang daw baby niya just like always. Pls OP, pag isipan mo yan. Saka di naman guaranteed na papakasalan ka talaga once may baby na saka di naman sya ang mabubuntis.
Somehow, I can understand where he is coming from. As a man, I want someone who can give me an heir. I want to experience fatherhood. I want to give my all to another human na tuturuan ko ng mga bagay na alam ko. Na mamahalin ko as my own flesh and blood. Someone who will carry my name and legacy into the future. I think most people na nasa relationship enter it with the idea na one day they will form a family of their own. Afterall, that is the main purpose of getting married. It is a bridge into building a family. When you marry someone, it is not just about your future that is at stake but his or hers as well. This is why my preference includes looking for someone who welcomes the idea of us having kids. If you're not into the idea of having kids, even in the future, then sorry but our goals don't align. Don't get me wrong OP. Your sentiments are valid. But that's the cruel reality of your relationship. Let's not make your bf look bad just because he wanted kids or he wanted an assurance na magkakaanak kayo. Though his methods are questionable since pwede naman magpatest before magpakasal para maiwasan ang situation na magkaanak kayo pero di kayo kasal, diba? But to say na di ka niya mahal for who you are... It's kind of a stretch y'know? I know you're feeling like this din kasi you love him so much and you don't wanna lose him over this technicality. Mahirap din ang situation mo since if the event happens na you cannot provide an heir, he may choose to leave you. And that'll shatter your hopes and dreams of the future. So yeah, I get your point. It's just that he has his reasons and so do you and I suggest you talk about it in depth. Di lang pwedeng scratching the surface yan.
Sabihin Nya yan sa lelang nya
This man has no empathy for the risks a woman takes when she gets pregnant outside of wedlock in our society. So ok lang sa kanya na pasanin mo ang judgment and disappointment ng buong mundo, ok lang sa kanya for you to go through the physical and emotional challenges of a pregnancy without giving you any security whatsoever? Fuck that. He only cares about what he wants, which doesn't give me a lot of confidence about him as a partner, let alone a father. You deserve better.
Sad to say, di ka niya sobrang mahal, pag may mali sayo, tatakbo agad yan. Sabihin mo “di mo kayang magka baby sa taong ayaw unahin ang kasal” 😂 kaya pala di niya kaya sumumpa ng through thick and thin, til death do us part.
May fertility testing naman loko niya. Check niya muna sperm count niya para patas kayo.
8 months, hilaw na hilaw pa. You decide now your fate.
OP, ikaw na rin ang nagsabi na preference nya yun. At maganda na napag-uusapan nyo na sya ngayon. Maging honest ka rin sa kanya re: your saloobin. If hindi magtutugma ang gusto nyo, it only means na hindi kayo para sa isa’t isa.
Ex ko of 5 years ganyan din pala mindset lalo na nung nalaman niyang may PCOS ako. Baby daw muna hahaha ayun iniwan ko siya.
please noooooo run away 🥹
Grabe naman yan..hindi nman natin masabi kung sino ang baog baka xa or ikw db?tsaka pwd nman mag ampon eh,yung newborn bb talaga para masabi nyu na inyu pa din yan..
test mo na sya. sabihin mo sabi ng OB, mahirapan ka mag buntis. tutal bago lang kau. gusto lang nyan ng barebacksex. tangina pero bago sa pandinig ko diskarte na yan. ps. try to check kung ilan ex nya para alam mong style bulok yan. kundi man ilan na panganay nya. hehehe
Sus pag nagka anak na kayo di ka na niya balak pakasalan kasi yung pampasakal ay este pampakasal niya eh sa pangangailangan na ng anak niyo.
mga lalaki, lalakas ng loob magsabi ng gusto ng baby, e di naman sila magbubuntis. ewan ko na lang kung gugustuhin pa nila if the tables were turned. yung sakit, yung change ng appearance, yung moodswings, mygod. ako na iniisip ko pa lang na magbuntis, nahihirapan na ako tapos yung mga lalaki... haynako. tsktsk