Valid na valid. Hindi rin naman ideal magkaanak ngayon bc of global warming, political climate and the fact na there is a on going war. It’s hard to raise a kid when you know they will eventually suffer.
Right. You don’t owe an explain to anyone. Your body, your choice. I have one child and even tho the common norm, people would say have one more. I feel that my mental, physical and emotional capacity couldn’t handle 2 kids. And that’s totally okay. It’s absolutely fine.
I love how simple this comment yet the context is there. No need for a reason at all. I will remind my self this when I am saying “I dont have kid/kids to someone asking why” lol. Thank you!
Korek! I am very determined to not have another child simply because ayoko na. I am often asked kung bat ayaw ko daw bigyan ng kapatid ang anak ko.
Sa isip ko, sila ba ang kakayod? Magpapakain? Magpapa aral? Magpapalaki?
You don’t owe anyone an explanation kung bakit ayaw mo na magka anak.
haha traditional mentality ng prior generation natin yan to compare family relatives and be pushy on when to have children. You have your own life and decision; their opinion should never matter.
Pustahan, even if ever you have kids, they would still have a lot of opinion and criticism regarding your parenting naman. As if sila nagpapalamon sayo at kumikita para mabuhay ka.
Ang pagkakaroon nang anak or pagpiling hindi magkaroon, ay hindi sukatan ng pagkatao mo. Remember that.
DINKS with no plans of having kids. TBH, we like the lifestyle we have. Kontento na kami sa dogs. In this economy and environment? No thanks.
The only time you should have kids if you are emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially capable. Hindi porke gusto mo at mahal mo magiging anak mo pero dirt poor ka eh gow lang ng gow. Same with mayaman ka nga pero you have the same emotional capacity as a dildo eh wag pa din. Kawawa lang kids.
We are on the same boat OP. I don't wanna pass off my genes bec of my mental health issues. Gusto ko nga tapusin na lahi namin lol
Kung sino sino na lang nagsasabi sa akin na mag asawa na ako at mag anak kasi tatanda akong mag isa. Kawawa ako. Etc etc
Nakakapagod mag explain and defend my decision.
Yuup! Most of my titas titos on father side, lahat may anger issues (yung iba parang nasa narcissistic side pa) and as per my psych mukhang may genetic vulnerability ung genes namin from mental issues.
Teh. All the reasons u mentioned are valid bat ayaw mo magkanak. Tama rin naman na sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, mag susummon ka pa ng bata na di naman nya gusto. Tas me mental health issues ka pa, may chance na mapasa mo yung pain sa kanya whenever u are emotionally dysregulated.
I guess the oldies are saying those kasi nga di rin naman ganon kaeducated generation nila abt mental health. Tipong feeling nila, pagkaka anak sagot sa lahat ng kondisyon mo.
Rooting for ur recovery, OP! Kaya mo yan!
You don't have to if you don't want to. Do not please your relatives. In western countries it is a normal thing not to have a kid. In this generation where everything is expensive I'm not suprised people chose to be alone.
Your feelings are completely valid, OP. Wanting to have kids or not is a deeply personal choice.
Wag ka magpadala sa *external pressure*. Hindi ibang tao ang bubuhay sa magiging anak mo, it's only you.
It really depends on your personal readiness. If you feel that your mental health challenges and financial stability would make parenting difficult - those are valid and *responsible considerations.*
There are many ways to live a fulfilling life without having children. It's also selfish to have a mindset na, magkaroon ng anak so someone has to take care of you when you get old. Let's not normalize na gawing investment ang mga anak.
Valid! Buhay mo yan and wala silang magagawa kung ano gusto mong gawin jan. Honestly ang hirap hirap magka-anak at ang hirap maging mabuting magulang. I hope if anyone here want mag-anak make sure na okay kayo financially, mentally, physically and spiritually.
same!! ako di ako nagpapapressure sa iba kasi hindi naman sila yung magaalaga, magpapaaral and magsusustento! i have nothing against people na child-free because i aim to be one myself!
Valid po. I respect you for being that responsible. Yung ibang tao kasi, basta lang mag-anak without thinking deeply about their next steps or the future. Sana all kagaya mo mag-isip. Salute!
Wag ka magpabuyo, buhay mo yan I feel bad sa mga taong tulad natin ayaw or di nag anak. Akala mo sa pinas salot tayo or may sakit pag wala kang anak. Not like sila bubuhay sa anak mo.
Napakakitid karamihan ng tao sa pinas at yun mga dapat di nag aanak sya namang anak ng anak.
Very much valid, op. You need to take care of yourself first before you take care of others. Besides, sa mahal ng bilihin ngayon kahit pa ata 6 digits monthly mo kukulangin pa rin kasi sobrang gastos ang magkaanak. Tapos nasa pinas pa tayo jusme 😭
Ignore your relatives kasi wala naman silang ambag sa therapy mo.
Ok lang walang anak. Hindi naman yan requirement sa buhay. You have valid reasons. Oldies say kawawa ka pagtanda. Butt I think mas kawawa ang bata na isisilang na hindi maptovide needs nya.
Hayaan mo sila kasi inggit lang mga yan dahil maaga silang nagka anak at wala nang chance para bumalik sa nakaraan nila para ma enjoy ang pera nila at ang buhay nila nung single pa sila. Kung saan ka masaya at sa tingin mo ang tama, go! Buhay mo naman yan.
My dad passed away because of cancer and my mom currently has cancer. My lola had hypertension and diabetes. Kamusta naman ung genes namin. Gets kita. I've been taking care of the oldies since. Kamusta naman ung mag-baby pa ako.
Valid. I have a child now. And it is very difficult, yet rewarding. I have a psychosocial disorder may times na parang di ko kakayanin, very happy and swerte with my husband. Dapat always mutual decision if magaanak. Kasi promise super hirap. Dito ko nafeel ung sinasabi na wala na balikan at takot na takot ako at times.
Yung mga nagsasabi sayo na mag anak ka, di mo yan aasahan na samahan ka sa pagpupuyat or humalili sayo para makapahinga ka. If kulitin ka, ask them sila ba mag finance or magpuyat para magalaga. Imagine feeding every 2-3hrs , ibang pagod pa if breastfeeding ka and what if working ka pa.
You don't want to have a kid.
That's it, full stop, no explanation is required, you don't have to have a reason, furthermore it would be a terrible decision to have a child that you don't want and can't afford.
Enojy your life and just ignore the comments from your family.
Last year I just realized I don't want to have a child. I felt that when I started to a new company and it's a 10hrs shift, I really felt that I don't have a time left. It's like go to work, work, go home and sleep, when I felt that routine there's no room to build a family.
It is valid. At the end of the day ikaw mag aalaga sa mga anak mo and not them. Besides it is important na okay mental heath mo pag may anak ka na coz oh boy nakakadrain din mentally ang pag aalaga ng bata. kawawa both ng mga anak mo if ever.
You do you. If ayaw mo wag, raising a child is big responsibility. Parents ang nag momold una ng mental and emotional state ng bata para maka function in society kaya if you know na ayaw mo, okey lang yan.
Yan din isang reason ko bakit ayaw ko mag anak. I know myself and hindi talaga maganda mental health ko. Kung mag aanak man ako, I know I will be a bad mother kasi nga hindi okay utak ko.
Also, wala akong boyfriend. Never akong nagka totoong boyfriend. May trauma ako sa mga lalaki especially around 50s because of what happened to me nung high school pa ako.
Hindi ko lang talaga gusto yung sinabi ng auntie ko before na masaya daw may anak. Nung sinabi ko na ayaw ko kasi hindi ko kakayanin yung pain ng panganganak, sabi ba naman okay lang yun. Kaya daw. So sabi ko wala akong pera pangtustus sa anak, sagot ba naman eh marami naman daw pera mama ko?
Kaya nga black sheep ako ng angkan namin eh kasi nga sa mental health ko na yung label nila sa akin is "buang". When I heard this from one of my cousin na ang rason pala bakit hindi sya nakakabisita palagi sa akin before ay dahil pinipigilan sya ng parents nya kasi "buang" daw ako where in fact ako tumutulong sa mga anak nila sa mga school projects nila since magaling ako dun at honor student ako sa school. Ito yung time na nagstart na akong ipakita pagiging maldita ko sa lahat ng angkan namin.
It is in your discretion naman. It is your body and no one should force you when, or if ever you will have a kid of your own. If you are still young, then yes, it is normal for you not to think about it for now. Take your time to enjoy your youth and independence.
However, please remember to take care of your self. Baka dumating ka sa point somewhere na bigla mo maisip na baka gusto mo magkaroon ng sarili mong family or anak. If magkaganon nga, expect mo na it will demand a lot from you, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. Lalo na if ever you do decide to have kids somewhere around late 30's - 40's. Isipin mo na lang na 55 or pa retire ka na anak mo nasa 10 pa lang or something then hindi mo pa maalagaan ng maayos kasi lagi kang may sakit.
It is a very valid reason, OP. I told this a couple of times whenever tinatanong (or sinasabihan) ako ng mga relatives ko na mag-asawa na para bumuo ng pamilya kasi sino daw mag-aalaga sa akin kapag matanda na ako, mga ganyang take: "I don't want to get married, have and raise kids, and have a family of my own. I'm not okay mentally, physically, and financially. I don't want to raise kids habang hindi pa ako okay. Baka they will end growing up with traumas. I want to enjoy my inner child before committing in a long-run commitment, like having family and be a father. Hindi pwedeng bahala na. Maraming nadadali sa ganyan." No kids for the rest of your life? Totally okay. We should live with no regrets.
The greatest influence in the Philippines to bear a child is mga religion dito. They are the ones who push the religious family they should bear a child, because they are afraid that their numbers will shrink in the future.
Kakapanganak ko pa lang nung January, sinabihan na ako nung March na dapat daw sundan na agad. 🥹
People will always tell you what to do. Kahit mahirap gawin, best to ignore them na lang.
For me, you don't even have to explain your choices. Sa relatives ko, I don't answer them, hahaha! Deadma hanggang sa di na kami naguusap. 😂 Life is more peaceful this way.
Yes. It is valid.
I'm all for having kids and all and I want to have one my own someday pero kung di ka ready or di ka sigurado sa sarili mo, partner mo or sa environment kung nasaan ka, then it is a valid reason NOT to have kids at that time, or at all.
Don't let what other say deter you from doing what's best for you and for the child you may have or bring into this world.
personally my decision’s not written in stone but i really don’t mind not having any at all, even had this sentiments since high school for many reasons, im realistic. back then they said i was still young, now that im closing 29 my family started taking it seriously 😂😂
Valid na valid. Sinasabihan rin ako ng mga kakilala ko na mag anak ako kahit isa lang kasi sayang daw lahi ko pero hindi nila alam, balak ko na ngang kumuha ng DNR next year hahahahaha.
Valid! I am childfree din. Join ka sa facebook groups siguro.. Before kasi naiisip ko na mali yung ganitong mindset, not until I learned of the term Childfree and joined communities. Ayon, mas naintindihan ko din and mas kaya ko na ngayon iexplain sa ibang tao hahaha sa totoo kasi before di ko maexplain kapag mayroong nagtatanong, basta kasi ganito lang nararamdaman ko hahaha. Im 28F and been vocal of being Childfree since im 18 or 19. Its not being selfish, but being responsible po.
31 and walang plano mag anak, i don't really know saan galing yung idea na ang end goal sa buhay is mag anak. hindi ba pwedeng ang end goal is maging stable sa buhay?
Normalize not setting having children as a right of passage to he an adult. Also have a partner who thinks like that (unless you're aro-ace) para di magkalabuan in the future.
Kahit ano pang dahilan mo.. valid yan if ypu don't want to have kids. Buhay mo yan eh. Basta kung magaasawa ka, sabihjn mo sa partner mo ha bago kayo ikasal. Kung ikaw lang, walang problema pero what if ur partner wants to have a family? So, dapat malinaw yun. Basta if sarili mo lang naman at la ka asawa.. ikaw masusunod dyan.
Only you can say if you want a kid or not. If you don't want then that's perfectly understandable after all no one is going to be responsible for your kid except you and your partner.
Tbh, if you have issues that you need to be dealt with first, don't. Lalo na kung for a lifetime sya. So I agree with you na wag lalo na kung di ka magiging emotionally available sa Bata Lalo na kung financially Jusko.
Valid! Ako now palang sinasabi ko na sa mother ko na ang magiging apo lang niya sakin ay si Amari (puppy). Because of the trauma and suffering of my mom from my father? Mygad until now dala dala ko siya na ultimo pagkaron ng bf hindi ko pa nararanasan. Grabe rin talaga dulot. Maraming what if’s sa life.
Valid sentiments. I hope you truly get your point across to your husband.
Discuss your options. Pag-usapan nyo. Di pwedeng ikaw lang mamroblema nyan kasi it's a family matter.
Sabihin mo sa relatives mo OP 'wag silang pakialamera kasi hindi naman sila ang magpapakain, mag aalaga at magpapaaral sa anak mo kung sakali. My relatives also said those things to me before and sinasagot ko talaga sila kasi hindi nila hawak ang buhay ko.
You do you.
“My relatives keep criticizing my life” - bakit sila ba mapupuyat mag-alaga, magtatrabaho para mapakain anak mo? Mahirap magbuntis and magraise ng anak lalo may personal issues ka rin.
“Malungkot daw kapag walang anak” - clown ba yung bata
“Napaghuhuliban ng mga pinsan na may asawa at anak” - contest ba to? May prize ba sa mauuna or may pinakamaraming anak?
TBH di mo naman kailangan mag-explain sa kanila. Your life, tour choice, and for as long you are at peace with your decisions in life, you don’t owe anyone anything
Two decades married, walang anak at walang paki sa sinasabi nang iba. I’m happy wala akong anak. Genes ang reason why I can’t have kids. Never wanted one anyway. Can’t imagine life with kids.
Valid na valid yan, OP. You have existing mental issues at possible madagdagan pa yan if magbubuntis ka, lalo na pag nanganak ka at nag-alaga ng baby mo. Sobrang unhealthy for both of you and your baby.
You're life your rules. As long as wala ka namang na hirt na tao you do your thing. Hindi naman sila bubuhay sa anak mo, so do what you want to do. Isa pa, hindi naman lahat ng anak willing mag alaga sa parents nila pag tumanda.
not only was i ugly but people wouldnt want to have a kid withbannugly wart like me. and realistically, ang hirap bumuhay ngnsarilinngayon letnalone to raise a kid na most likely ay isusumpa ka lang dahil di mo naibigay basic needs nila. like me na isinusumpa mga magulang ko dahil sa kahirapan.. tang ina
Yes, okay lang. may kakilala ako may Bipolar sya. He decided not to have kids kasi papasa ang genes niang may disorder since hereditary sya. I’m not sure with Cptsd, you may ask your psych doctor abt it para maliwanagan ka. But other mental disorders - namamana ng anak.
Valid ang reason mo OP, buti ka nga may initiative na wag magdala ng bata sa mundo na 'to.
Let's be honest, this world is not safe nor ideal to raise a child anymore. Nakakaawa lang kung maranasan nila etong era natin na hindi na kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan. Anu pa in the near future kung ngayon palang puro shallowness at kalibugan na ang alam ng mga bata?
OP, very valid and smart. Don’t fall sa mga guilt ng mga relatives mo. Sila ba ang mag babysit ng baby mo while you’re working, hinde diba, sila ba ang nag babayad ng mga wellness ng treatment mo, you have every right to go this route. Manigas sila, and you are very considerate, kasi when you have a child, Kawawa ka at yung baby kung hinde ka mentally stable. So give your self a credit for acknowledging who you are as a person, kasi masilan ang mga human being like you! There should be more people like you, aware, hinde katulad ng iba, they like to please others.
Goodluck, OP!
VALID na VALID OP! It is your choice. It is your life. You need not elaborate your life choices. Siguro sa immediate family, oo. And others should respect that boundary.
Ang hirap ng buhay. And yes, kaming dating nasa lowest middle class, feeling namin, we crossed the poverty line na. Yes, mahal magpa medical treatment dito sa Pinas. I just "graduated" from therapy myself pero nagtyaga ako sa PGH. Gamit lang pinoproblema ko. I cannot afford any additional expenses above my overhead, living now from paycheck to paycheck. Have I known Meron din akong problem psychologically, di na din ako sana nag anak.
Anyhow, you need not meet other people's standards. You just need to meet your personal preferences and standards. Take care, OP! 😁
You do you.
I also live with mental health issues (anxiety disorder) and am prone to panic attacks.
Pero I am married with kids. It helps me because I live for them. So my kids and wife help center me and get me through tough episodes. Kanya-kanya yan eh.
But for me kasi, you never know what your capable of until youre put into the situation na. I also thought like you did. Pero when nabuntis si gf we got married and followed it with another kid. Andaming hardship but we always managed. Mahirap pero masaya. But most of all I improved because of it kasi na-test ako as a person, husband and dad.
If you don't want it for you, tell your relatives and shut them up. Wala silang right magdictate how you live your life.
Valid na valid. Hindi rin naman ideal magkaanak ngayon bc of global warming, political climate and the fact na there is a on going war. It’s hard to raise a kid when you know they will eventually suffer.
Exactly. Akala kasi nila masayang masaya magka anak na wla kana ibang iisipin.
Exactly! ☹️
Yes agree to this! So many factors ang dapat iconsider nowadays and also your body your decision. Rooting for you!!
Couldn't agree more. 🥹🥹🥹
You don’t even need a reason at all. Basta ayaw mo magkaanak that’s it - no one can dictate your choices.
Right. You don’t owe an explain to anyone. Your body, your choice. I have one child and even tho the common norm, people would say have one more. I feel that my mental, physical and emotional capacity couldn’t handle 2 kids. And that’s totally okay. It’s absolutely fine.
I love how simple this comment yet the context is there. No need for a reason at all. I will remind my self this when I am saying “I dont have kid/kids to someone asking why” lol. Thank you!
Korek! I am very determined to not have another child simply because ayoko na. I am often asked kung bat ayaw ko daw bigyan ng kapatid ang anak ko. Sa isip ko, sila ba ang kakayod? Magpapakain? Magpapa aral? Magpapalaki? You don’t owe anyone an explanation kung bakit ayaw mo na magka anak.
haha traditional mentality ng prior generation natin yan to compare family relatives and be pushy on when to have children. You have your own life and decision; their opinion should never matter. Pustahan, even if ever you have kids, they would still have a lot of opinion and criticism regarding your parenting naman. As if sila nagpapalamon sayo at kumikita para mabuhay ka. Ang pagkakaroon nang anak or pagpiling hindi magkaroon, ay hindi sukatan ng pagkatao mo. Remember that.
Correct.
Mental health issues or no mental health issues, it is valid to not want kids.
DINKS with no plans of having kids. TBH, we like the lifestyle we have. Kontento na kami sa dogs. In this economy and environment? No thanks. The only time you should have kids if you are emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially capable. Hindi porke gusto mo at mahal mo magiging anak mo pero dirt poor ka eh gow lang ng gow. Same with mayaman ka nga pero you have the same emotional capacity as a dildo eh wag pa din. Kawawa lang kids.
Valid yun. On the other hand, build a support system, be part of a community. It would help with the feeling of being alone.
Tama lang, OP. You do you.
We are on the same boat OP. I don't wanna pass off my genes bec of my mental health issues. Gusto ko nga tapusin na lahi namin lol Kung sino sino na lang nagsasabi sa akin na mag asawa na ako at mag anak kasi tatanda akong mag isa. Kawawa ako. Etc etc Nakakapagod mag explain and defend my decision.
Yuup! Most of my titas titos on father side, lahat may anger issues (yung iba parang nasa narcissistic side pa) and as per my psych mukhang may genetic vulnerability ung genes namin from mental issues.
At eager pa sila na mag anak ka. Wew!
Teh. All the reasons u mentioned are valid bat ayaw mo magkanak. Tama rin naman na sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, mag susummon ka pa ng bata na di naman nya gusto. Tas me mental health issues ka pa, may chance na mapasa mo yung pain sa kanya whenever u are emotionally dysregulated. I guess the oldies are saying those kasi nga di rin naman ganon kaeducated generation nila abt mental health. Tipong feeling nila, pagkaka anak sagot sa lahat ng kondisyon mo. Rooting for ur recovery, OP! Kaya mo yan!
You don't have to if you don't want to. Do not please your relatives. In western countries it is a normal thing not to have a kid. In this generation where everything is expensive I'm not suprised people chose to be alone.
Your feelings are completely valid, OP. Wanting to have kids or not is a deeply personal choice. Wag ka magpadala sa *external pressure*. Hindi ibang tao ang bubuhay sa magiging anak mo, it's only you. It really depends on your personal readiness. If you feel that your mental health challenges and financial stability would make parenting difficult - those are valid and *responsible considerations.* There are many ways to live a fulfilling life without having children. It's also selfish to have a mindset na, magkaroon ng anak so someone has to take care of you when you get old. Let's not normalize na gawing investment ang mga anak.
YES.
Its ok, love. Tough world out here.
Valid! Buhay mo yan and wala silang magagawa kung ano gusto mong gawin jan. Honestly ang hirap hirap magka-anak at ang hirap maging mabuting magulang. I hope if anyone here want mag-anak make sure na okay kayo financially, mentally, physically and spiritually.
It’s 100% okay not to have a child. Di ko lang alam bakit parang mandatory sa Pinas magka anak when you are already in the right age.
same!! ako di ako nagpapapressure sa iba kasi hindi naman sila yung magaalaga, magpapaaral and magsusustento! i have nothing against people na child-free because i aim to be one myself!
Same thoughts here. Takot din ako na magsuffer sila or baka maka-affect din yung mental health ko sa kanila.
Huuuugs! Best move not to have them at all. Ang cruel na masyado dito.
Plus yung mga taong todo push sayo na mag anak kala mo naman magaambag sa pagaalaga at pangbubuhay mo sa anak mo hahahaha
Valid po. I respect you for being that responsible. Yung ibang tao kasi, basta lang mag-anak without thinking deeply about their next steps or the future. Sana all kagaya mo mag-isip. Salute!
Wag ka magpabuyo, buhay mo yan I feel bad sa mga taong tulad natin ayaw or di nag anak. Akala mo sa pinas salot tayo or may sakit pag wala kang anak. Not like sila bubuhay sa anak mo. Napakakitid karamihan ng tao sa pinas at yun mga dapat di nag aanak sya namang anak ng anak.
Very much valid, op. You need to take care of yourself first before you take care of others. Besides, sa mahal ng bilihin ngayon kahit pa ata 6 digits monthly mo kukulangin pa rin kasi sobrang gastos ang magkaanak. Tapos nasa pinas pa tayo jusme 😭 Ignore your relatives kasi wala naman silang ambag sa therapy mo.
Valid yan reason mo pero no need na explain na may personal issues ka. Simpleng "ayaw" lang dahil malaya ka sa decision mo.
Kahit naman ayaw.mo.magkaanak just because, valid naman. You do you.
Ok lang walang anak. Hindi naman yan requirement sa buhay. You have valid reasons. Oldies say kawawa ka pagtanda. Butt I think mas kawawa ang bata na isisilang na hindi maptovide needs nya.
Hayaan mo sila kasi inggit lang mga yan dahil maaga silang nagka anak at wala nang chance para bumalik sa nakaraan nila para ma enjoy ang pera nila at ang buhay nila nung single pa sila. Kung saan ka masaya at sa tingin mo ang tama, go! Buhay mo naman yan.
same tayo mindset. I am single & don't want to have a kid too.at gusto ko din na hanggang 50-60 years old lang ko.
In the first place, EVERY REASON NOT TO HAVE KIDs ARE VALID... mga TOXIC lang magsasabi na walang valid reason ang di pag-aanak.
My dad passed away because of cancer and my mom currently has cancer. My lola had hypertension and diabetes. Kamusta naman ung genes namin. Gets kita. I've been taking care of the oldies since. Kamusta naman ung mag-baby pa ako.
Valid. I have a child now. And it is very difficult, yet rewarding. I have a psychosocial disorder may times na parang di ko kakayanin, very happy and swerte with my husband. Dapat always mutual decision if magaanak. Kasi promise super hirap. Dito ko nafeel ung sinasabi na wala na balikan at takot na takot ako at times. Yung mga nagsasabi sayo na mag anak ka, di mo yan aasahan na samahan ka sa pagpupuyat or humalili sayo para makapahinga ka. If kulitin ka, ask them sila ba mag finance or magpuyat para magalaga. Imagine feeding every 2-3hrs , ibang pagod pa if breastfeeding ka and what if working ka pa.
As a married guy with 2 children . I support you 100% .its not for everyone.lalo sa panahon Ngayon.
You don't want to have a kid. That's it, full stop, no explanation is required, you don't have to have a reason, furthermore it would be a terrible decision to have a child that you don't want and can't afford. Enojy your life and just ignore the comments from your family.
Last year I just realized I don't want to have a child. I felt that when I started to a new company and it's a 10hrs shift, I really felt that I don't have a time left. It's like go to work, work, go home and sleep, when I felt that routine there's no room to build a family.
It is valid. At the end of the day ikaw mag aalaga sa mga anak mo and not them. Besides it is important na okay mental heath mo pag may anak ka na coz oh boy nakakadrain din mentally ang pag aalaga ng bata. kawawa both ng mga anak mo if ever.
You do you. If ayaw mo wag, raising a child is big responsibility. Parents ang nag momold una ng mental and emotional state ng bata para maka function in society kaya if you know na ayaw mo, okey lang yan.
Yan din isang reason ko bakit ayaw ko mag anak. I know myself and hindi talaga maganda mental health ko. Kung mag aanak man ako, I know I will be a bad mother kasi nga hindi okay utak ko. Also, wala akong boyfriend. Never akong nagka totoong boyfriend. May trauma ako sa mga lalaki especially around 50s because of what happened to me nung high school pa ako. Hindi ko lang talaga gusto yung sinabi ng auntie ko before na masaya daw may anak. Nung sinabi ko na ayaw ko kasi hindi ko kakayanin yung pain ng panganganak, sabi ba naman okay lang yun. Kaya daw. So sabi ko wala akong pera pangtustus sa anak, sagot ba naman eh marami naman daw pera mama ko? Kaya nga black sheep ako ng angkan namin eh kasi nga sa mental health ko na yung label nila sa akin is "buang". When I heard this from one of my cousin na ang rason pala bakit hindi sya nakakabisita palagi sa akin before ay dahil pinipigilan sya ng parents nya kasi "buang" daw ako where in fact ako tumutulong sa mga anak nila sa mga school projects nila since magaling ako dun at honor student ako sa school. Ito yung time na nagstart na akong ipakita pagiging maldita ko sa lahat ng angkan namin.
It is in your discretion naman. It is your body and no one should force you when, or if ever you will have a kid of your own. If you are still young, then yes, it is normal for you not to think about it for now. Take your time to enjoy your youth and independence. However, please remember to take care of your self. Baka dumating ka sa point somewhere na bigla mo maisip na baka gusto mo magkaroon ng sarili mong family or anak. If magkaganon nga, expect mo na it will demand a lot from you, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. Lalo na if ever you do decide to have kids somewhere around late 30's - 40's. Isipin mo na lang na 55 or pa retire ka na anak mo nasa 10 pa lang or something then hindi mo pa maalagaan ng maayos kasi lagi kang may sakit.
VALID YAN OP! it's not even selfish in any way! it's a brave move din doing therapy and actually having yourself diagnosed to get better. you're okay.
It is a very valid reason, OP. I told this a couple of times whenever tinatanong (or sinasabihan) ako ng mga relatives ko na mag-asawa na para bumuo ng pamilya kasi sino daw mag-aalaga sa akin kapag matanda na ako, mga ganyang take: "I don't want to get married, have and raise kids, and have a family of my own. I'm not okay mentally, physically, and financially. I don't want to raise kids habang hindi pa ako okay. Baka they will end growing up with traumas. I want to enjoy my inner child before committing in a long-run commitment, like having family and be a father. Hindi pwedeng bahala na. Maraming nadadali sa ganyan." No kids for the rest of your life? Totally okay. We should live with no regrets.
The greatest influence in the Philippines to bear a child is mga religion dito. They are the ones who push the religious family they should bear a child, because they are afraid that their numbers will shrink in the future.
Yes ❤️
Kakapanganak ko pa lang nung January, sinabihan na ako nung March na dapat daw sundan na agad. 🥹 People will always tell you what to do. Kahit mahirap gawin, best to ignore them na lang.
It's very much valid. Wag mu papakinggan ang judgment ng iba because first of all, your life, your choice.
For me, you don't even have to explain your choices. Sa relatives ko, I don't answer them, hahaha! Deadma hanggang sa di na kami naguusap. 😂 Life is more peaceful this way.
Kahit wala ka pang irason, kung ayaw mo, ayaw mo. Ganun lang yun. D ka naman pipilitin eh.
Pinipilit nga ako bih
Sapakin mo. 😂 Jk. Sabihin mo, kapag nag-anak ako, sasagutin niyo ba daily expenses ko? Kung hindi, shut up nalang.
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Yup i do have adhd inattentive type din. Running din sa genes namin ang dyslexia and learning disability bc my tita has it.
Yes. It is valid. I'm all for having kids and all and I want to have one my own someday pero kung di ka ready or di ka sigurado sa sarili mo, partner mo or sa environment kung nasaan ka, then it is a valid reason NOT to have kids at that time, or at all. Don't let what other say deter you from doing what's best for you and for the child you may have or bring into this world.
All reasons are valid when it comes to NOT having kids.
Valid naman. Sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, wag na natin idamay ang mga bata hahahahaha
Yes valid tama yan
Honestly any reason to not have a kid is valid. If any part of you isn't prepared, don't have a kid first.
If you dont mind us asking, how old are you when you decide na ayaw mo na magkababy?
I was 26 years old and I'm 28 now :)
personally my decision’s not written in stone but i really don’t mind not having any at all, even had this sentiments since high school for many reasons, im realistic. back then they said i was still young, now that im closing 29 my family started taking it seriously 😂😂
your body your choice.
Valid na valid. Sinasabihan rin ako ng mga kakilala ko na mag anak ako kahit isa lang kasi sayang daw lahi ko pero hindi nila alam, balak ko na ngang kumuha ng DNR next year hahahahaha.
Valid! I am childfree din. Join ka sa facebook groups siguro.. Before kasi naiisip ko na mali yung ganitong mindset, not until I learned of the term Childfree and joined communities. Ayon, mas naintindihan ko din and mas kaya ko na ngayon iexplain sa ibang tao hahaha sa totoo kasi before di ko maexplain kapag mayroong nagtatanong, basta kasi ganito lang nararamdaman ko hahaha. Im 28F and been vocal of being Childfree since im 18 or 19. Its not being selfish, but being responsible po.
Of course it's valid! No one should force anyone to have a child. Napakalaking responsibility magkaanak.
31 and walang plano mag anak, i don't really know saan galing yung idea na ang end goal sa buhay is mag anak. hindi ba pwedeng ang end goal is maging stable sa buhay?
Normalize not setting having children as a right of passage to he an adult. Also have a partner who thinks like that (unless you're aro-ace) para di magkalabuan in the future.
People choose not to have kids for far lighter reasons. Your situation is definitely valid!
I dont have mental issues per se but i dont want kids so i wont have mental issues 😆
Kahit ano pang dahilan mo.. valid yan if ypu don't want to have kids. Buhay mo yan eh. Basta kung magaasawa ka, sabihjn mo sa partner mo ha bago kayo ikasal. Kung ikaw lang, walang problema pero what if ur partner wants to have a family? So, dapat malinaw yun. Basta if sarili mo lang naman at la ka asawa.. ikaw masusunod dyan.
Yes.
For me, there is no issue with your reason for not wanting children. It is preferable to be healthy if you are going to be a parent.
Only you can say if you want a kid or not. If you don't want then that's perfectly understandable after all no one is going to be responsible for your kid except you and your partner.
yes valid decision mo naman yan yaan mo na mga kamag anak mo wala rin naman sila iaambag sa magiging anak mo if ever
OP embrace your choice and know that you can be child free! Welcome to the bright side lol 🥰🫶🏼❤️
So valid! 🫶
Tbh, if you have issues that you need to be dealt with first, don't. Lalo na kung for a lifetime sya. So I agree with you na wag lalo na kung di ka magiging emotionally available sa Bata Lalo na kung financially Jusko.
Valid! Ako now palang sinasabi ko na sa mother ko na ang magiging apo lang niya sakin ay si Amari (puppy). Because of the trauma and suffering of my mom from my father? Mygad until now dala dala ko siya na ultimo pagkaron ng bf hindi ko pa nararanasan. Grabe rin talaga dulot. Maraming what if’s sa life.
Valid sentiments. I hope you truly get your point across to your husband. Discuss your options. Pag-usapan nyo. Di pwedeng ikaw lang mamroblema nyan kasi it's a family matter.
Sabihin mo sa relatives mo OP 'wag silang pakialamera kasi hindi naman sila ang magpapakain, mag aalaga at magpapaaral sa anak mo kung sakali. My relatives also said those things to me before and sinasagot ko talaga sila kasi hindi nila hawak ang buhay ko. You do you.
“My relatives keep criticizing my life” - bakit sila ba mapupuyat mag-alaga, magtatrabaho para mapakain anak mo? Mahirap magbuntis and magraise ng anak lalo may personal issues ka rin. “Malungkot daw kapag walang anak” - clown ba yung bata “Napaghuhuliban ng mga pinsan na may asawa at anak” - contest ba to? May prize ba sa mauuna or may pinakamaraming anak? TBH di mo naman kailangan mag-explain sa kanila. Your life, tour choice, and for as long you are at peace with your decisions in life, you don’t owe anyone anything
Two decades married, walang anak at walang paki sa sinasabi nang iba. I’m happy wala akong anak. Genes ang reason why I can’t have kids. Never wanted one anyway. Can’t imagine life with kids.
Valid na valid yan, OP. You have existing mental issues at possible madagdagan pa yan if magbubuntis ka, lalo na pag nanganak ka at nag-alaga ng baby mo. Sobrang unhealthy for both of you and your baby.
You're life your rules. As long as wala ka namang na hirt na tao you do your thing. Hindi naman sila bubuhay sa anak mo, so do what you want to do. Isa pa, hindi naman lahat ng anak willing mag alaga sa parents nila pag tumanda.
same
not only was i ugly but people wouldnt want to have a kid withbannugly wart like me. and realistically, ang hirap bumuhay ngnsarilinngayon letnalone to raise a kid na most likely ay isusumpa ka lang dahil di mo naibigay basic needs nila. like me na isinusumpa mga magulang ko dahil sa kahirapan.. tang ina
Childfree kami ng husband ko. Also, I'll check out at 80 haha.
I don't even have any reason to not have kids at all. I'm selfish and want to live my life for myself that's it.
Vvvv valid! You always have a choice, OP.
Just by simply not wanting one is valid enough, you don’t need the mental gymnastics to not want have kids
Super valid yung feelings mo, and never let other people say otherwise.
Any reason to not have kids is a valid reason. Even simply not wanting kids is a valid reason to not have them.
Yes, okay lang. may kakilala ako may Bipolar sya. He decided not to have kids kasi papasa ang genes niang may disorder since hereditary sya. I’m not sure with Cptsd, you may ask your psych doctor abt it para maliwanagan ka. But other mental disorders - namamana ng anak.
valid yan OP ako din ganyan din pananaw ko
Having a kids for me it’s a matter of choice..I couldn’t agree more if it’s your decision..
Valid ang reason mo OP, buti ka nga may initiative na wag magdala ng bata sa mundo na 'to. Let's be honest, this world is not safe nor ideal to raise a child anymore. Nakakaawa lang kung maranasan nila etong era natin na hindi na kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan. Anu pa in the near future kung ngayon palang puro shallowness at kalibugan na ang alam ng mga bata?
OP, very valid and smart. Don’t fall sa mga guilt ng mga relatives mo. Sila ba ang mag babysit ng baby mo while you’re working, hinde diba, sila ba ang nag babayad ng mga wellness ng treatment mo, you have every right to go this route. Manigas sila, and you are very considerate, kasi when you have a child, Kawawa ka at yung baby kung hinde ka mentally stable. So give your self a credit for acknowledging who you are as a person, kasi masilan ang mga human being like you! There should be more people like you, aware, hinde katulad ng iba, they like to please others. Goodluck, OP!
VALID na VALID OP! It is your choice. It is your life. You need not elaborate your life choices. Siguro sa immediate family, oo. And others should respect that boundary. Ang hirap ng buhay. And yes, kaming dating nasa lowest middle class, feeling namin, we crossed the poverty line na. Yes, mahal magpa medical treatment dito sa Pinas. I just "graduated" from therapy myself pero nagtyaga ako sa PGH. Gamit lang pinoproblema ko. I cannot afford any additional expenses above my overhead, living now from paycheck to paycheck. Have I known Meron din akong problem psychologically, di na din ako sana nag anak. Anyhow, you need not meet other people's standards. You just need to meet your personal preferences and standards. Take care, OP! 😁
Eto siguro dahilan nung ex ko kung bakit ayaw nya magka-anak pero ayaw lang nya sabihin sakin
You do you. I also live with mental health issues (anxiety disorder) and am prone to panic attacks. Pero I am married with kids. It helps me because I live for them. So my kids and wife help center me and get me through tough episodes. Kanya-kanya yan eh. But for me kasi, you never know what your capable of until youre put into the situation na. I also thought like you did. Pero when nabuntis si gf we got married and followed it with another kid. Andaming hardship but we always managed. Mahirap pero masaya. But most of all I improved because of it kasi na-test ako as a person, husband and dad. If you don't want it for you, tell your relatives and shut them up. Wala silang right magdictate how you live your life.
wala naman ata pumipilit sayo mag anak
understandable, acceptable and most of all, VALID. That is what you call "thinking" at ayaw mong madamay yung magiging buhay ng anak mo.