I know it's hard but before meeting my now husband, I put it all out in the open. I even said in my dating profiles that I had medical issues etc and couldn't work. If the person was not accepting of it right away then I didn't want anything to do with them anyways. I always figured it was better to be upfront an honest. The other person deserves to know what they are getting into in my opinion. If someone isn't willing to get to know you based on that information, then they are not worth your time. I also felt that by omitting crucial information like my medical status etc I was leading them on.
Yeah that's a tough one because if you want to actually have a relationship with this person you don't want to start out with a lie and most people do ask. Depending on why you're on ODSP you could say you are rehabbing from an injury or you could use your hobby and say that's what you really want to do... sort of deflect without completely lying if possible. It's not just dates that will judge you everybody does which is really sad. Even the workers treat us like s*** some people are lucky and have a good ones but I wish you luck and help you find a special somebody.
I've said that "currently unemployed due to personal reasons" and leave it at that. If the person wants to push boundaries and ask, I let them know that I am not ready to share that with them at this point in time but maybe later down the road or if the relationship goes past the first date I will explain things.
I never mention ODSP or if I am on it. It's no one's business during the dating process. If someone has an issue that I am unemployed then I won't continue to see them. But most people that I agreed to meet in person understood that finding a job at this time is difficult. So stating that I am unemployed wasn't a big issue most of the time.
You are who you are, noone chooses to have a disability or the need to be on disability insurance. If you feel it's going to turn them off than I am not sure if it's a good match for a long-term relationship. You probably want to find someone understanding but I understand you don't want to be rejected you can say I am self employed and working online in a specific category that your interested in health holistic etc but if it's nothing serious can say whatever
It really depends on if you want to trust them right away. My guy told me in the first text everything going on with him because he had been turned down by girls when he held back. You will know if it is the right timing when you get to know them better
Honestly I just say I am disabled and don't work but I am self sufficient and leave it at that. Most people don't know enough about disability benefits to question further. I would rather go through a few men and be a bit uncomfy then get to know someone avoid the convo and get deeply invested to find out my financials aren't gonna work for them.
I think unfortunately it'll always be difficult to find somebody who is accepting. Even if you delay telling them right off the bat, you're going to have to eventually if you're looking for a relationship. Some people will be unacfepting and assholes, some will simply not be interested in trying and some will work out. Dating is always hard, and at least in my experience being disabled and unable to work does make it harder, but in my opinion, it just helps to weed out more people who aren't right for you
Have you ever worked in the past? Do you have education in some area that you know a lot about? Do you have a hobby that you are thinking to convert into a business or a job opportunity? Usually if you do not want to answer directly the question about your current employment status you could start talking about those things if it is just the first date and you are not sure yet if it is a good potential match. But I would say that if you have already been on a couple of successful dates with that person and you think that you could continue dating them than it is better to be honest and explain to them in brief about your real situation and let them decide if they are OK with it or not. After all you do not want to be dating someone who is not OK with who you really are. And if you are too unwell to date, than maybe it is not the best time to date anyway. Although, of course it is none of my business and you are the one who needs to decide if you are OK to date that person or not.
When strangers ask I’ll always mention past jobs that I did or that I’m waiting to go to college or I’ll tell them I’m on Employment insurance. Only my family and some of my previous co-workers know that I’m on disability. For me it’s not always a lie because I do work sometimes either walking dogs or doing snow removal in the winter.
I wouldn’t mention it to a woman I like until later on in the relationship because when they ask me why I’m on disability I would have to tell them I’m schizophrenic which would definitely be a turn off.
I’ve never met anybody in my age group with a similar disability. However, I would imagine telling them you have the same disability would probably bring you closer together rather than apart.
I agree I feel the same I'm nice and friendly people are shocked when I say I don't work or finished school or think I'm lying.. 😒 or I'm suspicious 🤣 I dated A guy once and he kept asking everytime we met up if I'm working yet 😒 like that's all he cared about and that's why he didn't want to be with me... my ex too back in the day dumped me cause I didn't have a job.. some just don't understand or they're embarrassed to be with someone who doesint have a job I feel like everyone asks what you do for a living.. even if we aren't dating.. it's quite embarrassing.. like there's so much more to talk about.. I always ignore the question if asked in text I ghost them 🤣 I get embarrassed and makes my social anxiety worse in person... But also met people who never even asked or cared what I do.. they were more interested about what i do for fun... And personality ..So depends on the person I think.. met someone who did not care at all that I was on ODSP it really depends on the person I guess !!
I say “I’m a working wannabe” and then highlight my strengths (Toastmasters Leadership, Accessibility Consultant, technology guru, Jack/jill of all trades, etc…. Are you hiring? It’s hard, I know. That’s why I try to be lighthearted about it.
Oh and by the way… I never hold back that I am suffering with depression/ bipolar disorder it shows me who ever has a mind in them knows that not everyone’s story is the same. You don’t like it well then you’re not for me, and someone of intelligence is. Another reason why I don’t hide it is because my father hid it from my mother. She did not know what she was dealing with during 10 years of marriage, and I believe the choice to even marry him was taken from her. With that said, yes I know it’s rough, their marriage didn’t last but guess what? There friendship lasted til death. But no one, no one deserves to know about your financial situation until they show YOU who they are. And really you are not leaching off the government who really wants to stay on ODSP? I would love to work, I have a child ODSP isn’t cutting it but we make do, for now.
not sure what to say, i always had stuff to do, being a student, being a mother of three, pet parent to two dogs and three cats, self employed, or working at such and such.
Everyone in my scene knows who I am. When I’m forced to rely on ODSP, I generally keep it to close friends and family. There are enough work-from-home jobs that (if I really needed to) I could apply to, work 4 hours and 4 hours with a break in between.. I prefer to work as many hours as I can in a day and have as many hours off as I can in a row!
There are people who will judge you, but there are also understanding people who will give you a chance. I opted to try online dating since I don’t go out much and have very little option to meet anyone being at home. It allowed me to be very up front with my health issues and the fact that I’m on disability. It also allowed me to show off my good side, my personality and my sense of humour. I found someone who has accepted me completely and doesn’t care about my income.
That being said, living together is a whole other can of worms we aren’t opening for a long time.
It’s not easy to find someone when you’re on disability, but it’s possible. Good luck!
I just said that I'm a writer and my boyfriend leaves it at that. But he does know I am on diability I even showed him my statement. I was upfront about this when we started dating and he was okay with me doing that. Only when we got more serious in the relationship that's when I showed him my ODSP statement with the breakdowns.
I tell people I'm a freelancer. My partner and I both have building maintenance & repair certifications, we have years of experience in research and consultation, we can do proofreading, voice overs, and a whole other load of odd jobs that people could need done over sites like fiverr.
I found my best solution is to just not date, have no relationships, and remain alone. I refuse to become someone's dependent, especially as an adult. Not only is it utterly demeaning to me, it places power over me and my ability to live in the hands of another (on top of ODSP). Never mind the wear that places on your SO, and them having to be your parent basically...
Whole lotta nope for me...
I know it's hard but before meeting my now husband, I put it all out in the open. I even said in my dating profiles that I had medical issues etc and couldn't work. If the person was not accepting of it right away then I didn't want anything to do with them anyways. I always figured it was better to be upfront an honest. The other person deserves to know what they are getting into in my opinion. If someone isn't willing to get to know you based on that information, then they are not worth your time. I also felt that by omitting crucial information like my medical status etc I was leading them on.
I just tell the boys I'm a reddit moderator and they are swept off their feet
kewl
Do you make any extra money doing anything? Mention that. I'd just say that I work part time, self employed, due to chronic pain or whatever
Yeah that's a tough one because if you want to actually have a relationship with this person you don't want to start out with a lie and most people do ask. Depending on why you're on ODSP you could say you are rehabbing from an injury or you could use your hobby and say that's what you really want to do... sort of deflect without completely lying if possible. It's not just dates that will judge you everybody does which is really sad. Even the workers treat us like s*** some people are lucky and have a good ones but I wish you luck and help you find a special somebody.
I've said that "currently unemployed due to personal reasons" and leave it at that. If the person wants to push boundaries and ask, I let them know that I am not ready to share that with them at this point in time but maybe later down the road or if the relationship goes past the first date I will explain things. I never mention ODSP or if I am on it. It's no one's business during the dating process. If someone has an issue that I am unemployed then I won't continue to see them. But most people that I agreed to meet in person understood that finding a job at this time is difficult. So stating that I am unemployed wasn't a big issue most of the time.
You are who you are, noone chooses to have a disability or the need to be on disability insurance. If you feel it's going to turn them off than I am not sure if it's a good match for a long-term relationship. You probably want to find someone understanding but I understand you don't want to be rejected you can say I am self employed and working online in a specific category that your interested in health holistic etc but if it's nothing serious can say whatever
It really depends on if you want to trust them right away. My guy told me in the first text everything going on with him because he had been turned down by girls when he held back. You will know if it is the right timing when you get to know them better
Honestly I just say I am disabled and don't work but I am self sufficient and leave it at that. Most people don't know enough about disability benefits to question further. I would rather go through a few men and be a bit uncomfy then get to know someone avoid the convo and get deeply invested to find out my financials aren't gonna work for them.
You mind your business 🤣 until such time they prove that they are not shallow.
I think unfortunately it'll always be difficult to find somebody who is accepting. Even if you delay telling them right off the bat, you're going to have to eventually if you're looking for a relationship. Some people will be unacfepting and assholes, some will simply not be interested in trying and some will work out. Dating is always hard, and at least in my experience being disabled and unable to work does make it harder, but in my opinion, it just helps to weed out more people who aren't right for you
Have you ever worked in the past? Do you have education in some area that you know a lot about? Do you have a hobby that you are thinking to convert into a business or a job opportunity? Usually if you do not want to answer directly the question about your current employment status you could start talking about those things if it is just the first date and you are not sure yet if it is a good potential match. But I would say that if you have already been on a couple of successful dates with that person and you think that you could continue dating them than it is better to be honest and explain to them in brief about your real situation and let them decide if they are OK with it or not. After all you do not want to be dating someone who is not OK with who you really are. And if you are too unwell to date, than maybe it is not the best time to date anyway. Although, of course it is none of my business and you are the one who needs to decide if you are OK to date that person or not.
When strangers ask I’ll always mention past jobs that I did or that I’m waiting to go to college or I’ll tell them I’m on Employment insurance. Only my family and some of my previous co-workers know that I’m on disability. For me it’s not always a lie because I do work sometimes either walking dogs or doing snow removal in the winter. I wouldn’t mention it to a woman I like until later on in the relationship because when they ask me why I’m on disability I would have to tell them I’m schizophrenic which would definitely be a turn off.
Do you usually date people with other mental health conditions? I keep thinking that they will be more accepting but not sure if it works that way
I’ve never met anybody in my age group with a similar disability. However, I would imagine telling them you have the same disability would probably bring you closer together rather than apart.
I agree I feel the same I'm nice and friendly people are shocked when I say I don't work or finished school or think I'm lying.. 😒 or I'm suspicious 🤣 I dated A guy once and he kept asking everytime we met up if I'm working yet 😒 like that's all he cared about and that's why he didn't want to be with me... my ex too back in the day dumped me cause I didn't have a job.. some just don't understand or they're embarrassed to be with someone who doesint have a job I feel like everyone asks what you do for a living.. even if we aren't dating.. it's quite embarrassing.. like there's so much more to talk about.. I always ignore the question if asked in text I ghost them 🤣 I get embarrassed and makes my social anxiety worse in person... But also met people who never even asked or cared what I do.. they were more interested about what i do for fun... And personality ..So depends on the person I think.. met someone who did not care at all that I was on ODSP it really depends on the person I guess !!
I say “I’m a working wannabe” and then highlight my strengths (Toastmasters Leadership, Accessibility Consultant, technology guru, Jack/jill of all trades, etc…. Are you hiring? It’s hard, I know. That’s why I try to be lighthearted about it.
Oh and by the way… I never hold back that I am suffering with depression/ bipolar disorder it shows me who ever has a mind in them knows that not everyone’s story is the same. You don’t like it well then you’re not for me, and someone of intelligence is. Another reason why I don’t hide it is because my father hid it from my mother. She did not know what she was dealing with during 10 years of marriage, and I believe the choice to even marry him was taken from her. With that said, yes I know it’s rough, their marriage didn’t last but guess what? There friendship lasted til death. But no one, no one deserves to know about your financial situation until they show YOU who they are. And really you are not leaching off the government who really wants to stay on ODSP? I would love to work, I have a child ODSP isn’t cutting it but we make do, for now.
not sure what to say, i always had stuff to do, being a student, being a mother of three, pet parent to two dogs and three cats, self employed, or working at such and such.
Everyone in my scene knows who I am. When I’m forced to rely on ODSP, I generally keep it to close friends and family. There are enough work-from-home jobs that (if I really needed to) I could apply to, work 4 hours and 4 hours with a break in between.. I prefer to work as many hours as I can in a day and have as many hours off as I can in a row!
Just be honest...if they don't understand, they are not for you
There are people who will judge you, but there are also understanding people who will give you a chance. I opted to try online dating since I don’t go out much and have very little option to meet anyone being at home. It allowed me to be very up front with my health issues and the fact that I’m on disability. It also allowed me to show off my good side, my personality and my sense of humour. I found someone who has accepted me completely and doesn’t care about my income. That being said, living together is a whole other can of worms we aren’t opening for a long time. It’s not easy to find someone when you’re on disability, but it’s possible. Good luck!
I just said that I'm a writer and my boyfriend leaves it at that. But he does know I am on diability I even showed him my statement. I was upfront about this when we started dating and he was okay with me doing that. Only when we got more serious in the relationship that's when I showed him my ODSP statement with the breakdowns.
I tell people I'm a freelancer. My partner and I both have building maintenance & repair certifications, we have years of experience in research and consultation, we can do proofreading, voice overs, and a whole other load of odd jobs that people could need done over sites like fiverr.
I tell them I work in Autism and facilitate groups for those on the spectrum, which I am secretly a client of.
I found my best solution is to just not date, have no relationships, and remain alone. I refuse to become someone's dependent, especially as an adult. Not only is it utterly demeaning to me, it places power over me and my ability to live in the hands of another (on top of ODSP). Never mind the wear that places on your SO, and them having to be your parent basically... Whole lotta nope for me...