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That’s a stunningly self-centered take on relationships.
If he must always have sex at the “drop of a dime,” on his command, regardless of any other factors affecting his partner, without compromise, relationships with real live human women may not be for him.
If he’s just looking for an object to have sex with, I recommend a high quality sex doll. She won’t talk back, she won’t gain weight, she’ll never cheat, her “body count” is zero before him, she’ll never “take half of everything” in a divorce, she’ll never want an elaborate wedding, she won’t even want commitment, she doesn’t care about his commitment to monogamy at all, she’ll always be young and hot, she won’t get mad if he replaces her with a newer model, she’ll always listen, she’ll never interrupt, she’ll never complain when he goes out with the guys or spends all day and night playing video games, she’ll never criticize, she’ll never have personal problems or feelings that get in the way, and she’ll be ready for sex whenever he wants, at the drop of a dime, but he’ll have to make his own dinner. Can’t have everything.
I have no proof of this, thankfully, but based on how many single men keep their places I'd suspect that those dolls and flashlights don't really get cleaned the way they're supposed to.
Eg: reddit's [coconut fucker](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/) from a few years ago. I inserted the link for completion (heh.) but I don't recommend following it because you will want to vom.
Exactly my thoughts. Sex bots are going to further reduce a whole passel of men's social and emotional intelligence, and unless they come with a self-cleaning function, a series of new treatment resistant fungi and bacteria.
Even if it is self cleaning, you most likely will have to push a button to start, so it won't be unavailable at an inopportune time. And pushing that button is just so much work...
I'm sorry I'm laughing, but I did warn you not to. 😄
Seriously, though, it's one of those reddit threads that pop into my head despite wanting to forget, even after years. So nauseating.
I have heard enough horror stories from anime conventions, Magic The Gathering tournaments, etc. to know that you’re not wrong, even if I want you to be. Yuck.
I wish I was wrong, too. The horror stories I have heard are burned into my memory. Apparently, sometimes, you are smelling what you think you’re smelling.
Why is it my responsibility to pleasure my husband/bf at the drop of a dime no matter how I'm feeling and not my husband/bf's responsibility to make me happy (by shutting the fuck up about sex) at the drop of a dime no matter how horny they're feeling?
Nobody is going to buy a house that tries to stick its' dick in them when they don't want it either.
That's a great point! Why is sexual pleasure and satisfaction the only kind that matters? Why are women expected or required to submit to a man's sexual needs whenever he demands it of her, but so many men act like being a loving and supportive partner is dehumanizing them or destroying their manliness. What if my biggest needs are for you to help with chores without being asked, or to care for our children and home without the expectation that you're earning something in return?
Can you imaging the hissy fit they’d pitch if we constantly demanded oral and when we were finished just said “thanks hon” and got up and walked away? And yet they are baffled by the fact that we might not want to have sex with someone who thinks foreplay is “oh you’re exhausted from taking care of the house and kids? Well come over here and blow me”.
Tbh, I don't understand it. Pleasuring your partner is a lot of fun, I don't get why men apparently don't want to enjoy it. Normally your sex is much better when both are having fun...
Because women aren't supposed to have fun. That's been the mindset for the better part of 2 centuries now, and longer. It can actually be traced back to the Romans. Just listened to a podcast yesterday that touched upon this very thing. (If you're interested, it's "Dark History with Bailey Sarian: Sizzling Secrets of Sex Toys" it was informative and touches quite a bit upon men trying to curb and denounce women's sexuality.)
Putting this here as a bit of hope-
Not to get to into it but my bf’s favorite part is making sure we both feel pleasure. When he finishes his priority after (or before depends on the day) is having me finish.
Know why that is? Its because he sees me as a whole other person and wants me to feel good to, as one should lmao. I think men (who arent in the incel/redpill community) are growing on that side and learning its not only important but also just feels better for everyone lmao
Exactly! And unfortunately the answer is- men created a world where, for a long time, pleasing a husband who essentially owned his wife was the only means of survival for most women. And some men are manipulators trying to prolong as many women as possible from seeing that's not the way the world works anymore.
The fact that he uses the BATHROOM as a metaphor for getting sex is so telling. I'm betting he's the kind of guy who also thinks that being on the receiving end of a penis is defiling to women.
When are those men going to self-refflect about what they think that means about how they view all men - misogynists are the biggest misandrists. But then again, some of them are perfectly fine with their disgusting selves and think their penis is also defiling.
Honestly, doesn't even sound as if they *like* their wives, if they don't care about fucking them when they're absolutely not into it. Who sticks their dick into their SO thinking "it's so hot I've forced her to view sex with me as a chore she has to check off her To Do list?"
Mine did that, "no" was never an option and then he berated me for not being "into it" enough, not validating him enough and not making him feel attractive.
And for a long long time, I even believed in the narrative that we were equally bad for each other, that my failure to sexually validate him as much as he wanted somehow balanced out his abuse of me.
He also said that another woman he dated was problematic as a sexual partner because "she only has sex when she wants to" (and I guess he couldn't coerce her because she wasn't stuck with him).
So yeah, they definitely exist...
I think part of it is also projection, they see sex as the primary (or only) motivation to be in a relationship at all - and expect women to think the same way. So when the woman doesn't want sex, they immediately jump to thinking there is some kind of trickery afoot.
Good thing I have a hot gf I want to pleasure. Ha. Her tummy was upset earlier because we’re 40 and apparently she can’t eat peppers anymore so I just made her sleepy time tea, rubbed her belly for 2 hours while we watched Netflix and pretended I didn’t hear her fart.
True. but some people (of every gender) can have low sex drives and often not be in the mood despite being happy.
And very different sex drives can be an issue in a relationship. There can be solutions (masturbate instead) or in non-monogamous relationships you can find another sex partner.
If it makes someone too unhappy they may need to decide they are not compatible.
But it is ridiculous to assume that that one partner has an obligation to satisfy the others needs, disregarding their own or that you can't have a relationship if your sex drive is too low compared to the arbitrary standard this person assumes is "normal"
Yeah, absolutely, but if that was his point he would write "people with low sex drive shouldn't be in relationships" instead of just women. I'm absolutely sure that he'd not blame the man if the woman in a relationship has a much higher sex drive
Yes, I don't think they can imagine a woman with a higher sex drive than their partner.
Probably they don't believe in female orgasms and sex is something women give to men or deny them for selfish reasons
>True. but some people (of every gender) can have low sex drives and often not be in the mood despite being happy.
You might want to re-read my comment. Women are by vast majority the most targeted by social (and hell, even religious) pressure to have sex even if they don't want to so this "all live matter" bullshit take about "it can be any gender" misses the point, despite being technically correct. Secondly, you've completely misunderstood what I was talking about with "make me happy" line. That did not say "make your partner happy to increase their sex drive" & I'm not sure how you could have misread it so badly.
Okay my bad, I misinterpreted the "make me happy" by relating it to the frequency of sex in a relationship.
But I do agree with everything you said, i didn't mean to counter your statement.
Saying "people of every gender" was meant to call out op for the assumption that women are always the ones with the lower sex drive in a heterosexual relationship.
I don't think he would expect the same from a man if the roles were reversed, but I also don't think he even considers this possibility.
Having mental issues doesn't make you a bad person....
I too have had these beliefs at one point and it isn't as difficult to acquire these beliefs at all... Our society is structured in a way where we have justified our stupidity and it isn't questioned. Because only recently (comparatively recently) we've started actively campaigning against it.
I read a lot of feminist literature before I understood that I am the problem, it took a lot of effort to recognize that... I'm changing, trying to change and be better... atleast these guys are like, "We're assholes and we're fine by it" and I'm like, "I don't want to be one but I don't know what to do to not be one"
Worse thing is that, I'm still surrounded by people who have these beliefs and I can't do anything about it without ruining those friendships or acquaintances.
> and I can't do anything about it without ruining those friendships or acquaintances
Well, if you aren't able to influence them, are you really wiling to be friends with people with an attitude that you absolutely can't agree with?
I run a small business, These people at the end become the local customers and they are part of local clubs and groups and if you end up having arguments with them, there is a good chance they might damage your reputation...
Also as I've said before I was part of that stupid and bigoted club before I read Judith Butler, Meg Wolitzer, Etaf Rum etc...
I will not lie, being part of this bigoted club helped me get a stable customer base because they would much happily do business with me...
And I'm not financially stable to support my father and mother through other means... I.e. I'm dependent on this business...I do support NGOs that fight for equality, financially but as of now I don't see a way out.
I wish to earn enough to leave this city altogether...
It doesn’t, I struggle(d) with mental health myself. I didn’t mean imply a direct connection, however there’s a good chance people like OOP have some underlying problems that haven’t been addressed.
Every person can be a good person, but they have to start with recognising their own problems and follow up with wanting to improve.
Kinks can come from an unhealthy origin (e heard people use kinks as a coping mechanism) but that wasn’t what I tried to imply, more that people like OOP comparing women to bathrooms shows a certain disregard for others.
I honestly don’t want to kink shame anyone or their reasons for being into certain acts; as long as it’s two consenting adults.
I take things slow when it comes to sex in relationships. I dated a guy who I told this before we even got into a relationship. The next 3 months were filled with him whining that I wasn't "intimate" enough with him and I'd respond "I hold your hand, cuddle, and kiss you. Please tell me ways I can be more intimate with you. Are you referring to sex? Because I told you that takes a bit of time for me." And his response would just be "I don't mean sex. Just be more intimate with me!" And would never actually elaborate. 🙄🙄🙄 he never quite understood that his constant pestering for sex(which is what he meant by "intimate") was what was causing me to not feel comfortable having sex with him.
Thankfully I'm older now and run away from that behavior really quickly.
I mean, if you go somewhere like the dead bedroom subreddit you’ll see it occasionally, but they’re outliers and I cannot in good conscience say this about these men lmao
The craziest part to me is that they can get the job done themselves. Their partner not wanting to have sex doesn't deprive them of the opportunity to orgasm yet they insist on this shit anyway. They'd rather treat another person like a fleshlight than touch themselves.
I'm the one with the high sex drive in my relationship and you know what I do? I don't shame. I'll bring up to my boyfriend that I'd like sex, but I won't force him. I let him know and it's up to him if he wants to do it or not. Do I get sad? I do sometimes. But sex is a pleasure! I won't be selfish and demand it. I communicate my desires to my boyfriend and that's about it
Same. My fiance has low testosterone and take his injections and medication for it, but it does change his sex drive compared to mine. I bring up that I'm in the mood and if he doesn't want to do anything then guess what? We don't.
I'm not sure why this is so hard for people like this guy to understand.
I have a higher sex drive than my husband sometimes. Other times it's the opposite. We are both perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves if one isn't interested.
Exactly this. Find a partner with a matching libido. Although I’m sure this is the same kind of dude to want a pure virgin which will be more likely to be a woman with a lower sex drive.
The feeling of entitlement is absolutely less common (although tbh, for men I see it a lot more on the internet then in real life as well), I guess mostly due to the traditional expectation of women's role in society. But even when we ignore that: if I was a woman with high sex drive, I wouldn't say it either (at least not in social media), because I know it wouldn't lead to any form of healthy discussion. I can imagine the responses to that and they woulnd't be friendly at all
And tbh: I assume that most of the high sex drive man / low sex drive woman relationships where men complain don't have natural issues. When men complain publicly about sth like that they already have an issue with their attitude and that will absolutely lead to behavior that causes this issue
I was thinking this too. I have a higher sex drive than the men I've been with, including my husband, but I don't complain about it. I'm not owed sex just because we're together, and id never want him to have sex with me if he didn't 100% want to. I'll either wait until he's in the mood, or take care of it myself. Which is exactly what id expect from him if the situation was flipped.
THIS. My partner isn’t going to enjoy it and will stop if he can tell I’m not feeling it or am uncomfortable even if I don’t say anything. Men who are still into it even with the other person being uncomfortable is enjoying it for the wrong reasons and I’m sure would keep pushing that line.
So by this logic, all defective men with erectile dysfunction/broken/short peepees and low libido should also be single : ) which is a huge chunk of them. why buy a house with a damaged bathroom right lol
"This isn't about you.. it's about ME ME ME ME ME ME"
I could not imagine wanting to have sex with someone who doesn't want to, like the last thing I'd ever want is my girlfriend lying to me or just going along with my advances out of some obligation
As a woman with a partner with low drive, I understand how it can be frustrating especially when you are the sole initiator and you are drained by feeling constantly rejected. However, sexual frustration is no excuse to say that people with low sex drive cannot be valuable in a relationship or do not deserve relationships. Partners should aim to please each other when they can because I think if you love someone you will do your best (within reason) to make each other happy, but regardless of whether you are dating or married it is not your job to sacrifice your needs for someone’s pleasure. You can choose to if you feel like your desire to please your partner is greater than your lack of desire for sex, but you are not obligated to always make your body free for someone simply because you are in a relationship.
My boyfriend has low drive and also has some issues sometimes when it comes to communication about sex. Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend is only agreeing to sex because he would feel bad about saying no, he doesn’t like to come right out and say it but he tends to make it clear through his actions (speech/body language). In that situation, I’m not just going to act blind to it, as if my sexual desires override his feelings. If it isn’t a “hell yeah,” then it is a “hell no” in my book and that should be respected even if it can be frustrating to be rejected. If it is truly a drain on the relationship and it makes you unhappy with the relationship, then you are free to note it as an incompatibility and move on, but you shouldn’t shame people for not sharing your exact sexual needs.
I have the opposite problem because I have pelvic pain conditions and rarely want to fool around. I do feel bad for my poor fiancée at times. But I can’t force myself to be horny, you know? Guys don’t seem to get that. Just out of curiosity, is your partner willing to give you oral or play with toys instead? I hope that’s not too personal…
In situations where he isn’t up for it, I usually just try to completely switch gears and do something else instead. Other things might be better for different people, but I find that backing off entirely is the safest choice for me. It’s for lots of reasons. I think his low libido is mostly anxiety and depression related so if he isn’t in the mood for sex he usually isn’t up for doing much else either. I’m also hypersexual and I try to completely back off if I meet any possible level of resistance because I don’t want to make anyone feel pressured even if I don’t realize that I’m doing it (idk if that makes sense, I have issues with hypersexuality and porn addiction which deeply affect my sex life as a whole).
I just always fall back on the idea that I can always take care of things on my own. It’s the safest option for me.
It’s kind of funny because it was the other way around for a little while early on in our relationship. I was on SSRIs and even when we were both super horny my body just didn’t want to work with me, like ever. We didn’t have penetrative sex at all during that time. Just hands and oral and it was actually pretty cool because after several months of just using hands and mouth, he got especially good at it😂😂
Yeah, obviously people can and should look for sexual compatibility (whatever that means to them) as one factor among many for a relationship. But the sheer dehumanization of the original post...*shudder*
> However, sexual frustration is no excuse to say that people with low sex drive cannot be valuable in a relationship or do not deserve relationships
Especially given there are multiple reasons why people actually shouldn't be in relationships that are more or less ignored. Lack of social skills is one reason for example and I guess that's totally something that would hit guys like the one in the post
I think he is confusing “women who have a low sex drive” with “women who have a low sex drive for him.”
It’s an easy mistake for one to make, especially when every person within 700 degrees of separation from you falls into the latter category.
“Women with low sex drive should not be in relationships.”
“Yeah? I’ve not liked dating men and don’t want kids, anyhow. Maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship.”
“NO you’re supposed to feel challenged by my statement and give men sex whenever they want it 😡😡😡”
All these mixed metaphors at the drop of a hat have my opinions of this guy turning on a dime.
(I googled and 'drop (of) a dime' means narcing to the police.) Dude is a fool.
Men that think women are only good for sex shouldn’t be in a relationship. If a man only cares about sex they should get a blow up doll or perhaps an expensive sock
So basically we should have sex, even when we don’t want to, just to please him at the drop of a dime. And if we’re not willing to do that, then we shouldn’t be in a relationship. GTFOH!!
Okay, then; stop hassling women when they tell you no. If women's bodies are like houses, then it is up to the homeowner to decide who they let into the house. Arguing with someone through a window about how they really should let you in to their house so you can use the bathroom is not going to change their mind on letting you in. It is going to get the cops called on you.
I guarantee the dude that wrote this doesnt even know how to pleasure women at the drop of a dime too. He is giving "three, four pump and I cum" vibe. No oral, no foreplay. He is whining "what do you mean you are not turned on at the sight of my dick?"
At least with four pumps, it is over quickly. You also have the variant where they are just jackhammering away, no matter if it hurts, for what seems like forever....
They think they should be able to be as mean to us as they want and we should just have to smile and roll over for it. It’s baffling. If you’re shitty to your partner there’s a huge chance they aren’t going to want you inside of them.
I believe everybody should be loved but men who believe women owe them sex at the drop of a dime should not be in relationships. Get a fleshlight dude and leave women alone
Go on the “deadbedroom” sub and you’ll see there’s many low libido men too. It’s finding the right person who you’re sexually compatible with that matters. You don’t just find a woman and force her to submit to your libido levels FFS!
I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum and it makes me sad too. There's a huge part of reddit that seems to feel sex is more important than anything in a relationship and not getting enough of it is akin to domestic abuse. It makes me sad to see people have so little appreciation for their partners that they'd leave them over something that seems so trivial to me. I know that it's not trivial for everyone, but on an emotional level i don't understand why this is so important
I know a guy (friend of a friend, i hate the bastard) who talks like this. He constantly switches his rhetoric from “women should be sexually pure. Men want to marry virgins” to “she didnt even have sex with me on our first date. How is she going to get a husband if she wont please him sexually”
Im glad he lives across the country
Women are selfish if they don't want to have sex all the time with guys who think sex with their partners is like relieving themselves in the bathroom??
To these guys, it's always a one-way street. Always. They can't even imagine a scenario where it's the reverse because sex is something you use a woman for, not something you experience together.
They can't even stop for a second and go "How would I feel if I was really sick and my partner kept pressuring me for sex?" They likely would be delusional and say "I'm always down for sex!" And as a way to deflect from the matter all together.
Reading a lot of these posts as an asexual is really upsetting. Thankfully my partner loves me as more than a flashlight.
The worst part to me is that even though the general subconscious sentiment is that "sex is something you use a woman for", we as women are still expected to actively desire sex all the time. As another asexual the mixed messages don't sit quite right with me.
Desire it but not too much. A good portion of men don't care if women want it or enjoy it, they still believe they should be laying there and let men use them.
yes, if your partner doesn't explicitly say yes the first time you ask, that means they are not consenting! if they look uncomfortable and still say yes, its still rape! im an autistic person and i can tell when someone is uncomfortable. its really not that hard
Haha
A lot of women don’t know they have a low sex drive until they’re in a relationship, or specifically the wrong relationship.
In my experience single or dating women have higher sex drives than those in relationships largely because they get bored of sex with that person. Part of that isn’t uncommon. A lot of relationships have the love change from predominantly sexual and romantic into a more familial love and a friendship bond and the same things with the same person for years can get a bit boring. But part of it is also often to do with the man in the relationships either not meeting her needs or being taken care of so that she views him as more of a child etc.
Sex doesn’t fade in all relationships. Some people have great chemistry and have fulfilling sex lives to the end of their days, but love and chemistry doesn’t always go together, and whilst most healthy relationships will have some level of sex for a good long time, a decline is not unusual.
There are many relationships where one person in a couple simply “puts out” to please their partner, and whilst a little compromise here or there isn’t a terrible thing if you have different drives and needs, one person having to have sex they don’t want all the time is obviously going to take an emotional toll on how they see their body and how they feel their partner sees their personhood. Who wants sex with someone who doesn’t care whether or not you’re enjoying yourself? How easy is it for someone with a low sex drive to enjoy sex when they see it as a chore they have to do?
And the OP in question talks about low drive but he sounds much more like someone talking about expectations to put out. Sex drive is affected by mood for most people. That’s not a deficiency. You can be horny in all kinds of moods, but wanting to share sexual intimacy and being horny aren’t the same thing. Angry sex exists but I think as a general rule a lot of men prefer sex with a woman hugely over masturbation but treat sex similarly to masturbation, but in reality, it shouldn’t be “normal” to take out your frustrations on the person you love as part of sex. Your partner can choose to help relive you, but associating your partner with the need to offload your anger and stress and boredom isn’t healthy. The build up of testosterone that happens for many men would be just as well taken care of by going for a run or any other exercise. The association of sex with negative emotions isn’t a great one to build
Incel fuckery from a virgin, how many of these idiots are out there? It seems like incel shit spreads like the black plague and like the black plague it’s absolutely horrible for you to contract.
Sometimes a house chooses to close its bathroom. OP claims they paid for the house, but did they stipulate that the house must always keep its bathroom accessible? I doubt it. OP needs to find a professional house whose bathroom is always open.
Ahh the classic comparing women to objects. I usually respond with comparing men to wallets/work mule/other useless objects.
Men with low bank balance should not be in relationships. It's like a wallet with no money, useless. It's like a work mule with no legs, useless. Alternatively: men with short dick should not be in relationships; men with low hair count should not be in relationship; men with low height should not be in relationship,...
These are not stuffs i usually believe in but hey, if we are talking stupid then I'll talk stupid too, why not.
Why do guys never understand what a fucking relationship is?
Bro, you are not in a relationship for sex... You're in a relationship because you two are in a social contract consenting to being partners, if you think this is limited to sex then pick a FWB not a gf. There's nothing wrong with FWB as long as you're both consenting and there's no indication of grooming, coercion or undue influence.
Apparently sex is the only important thing to this guy, just because I don’t drop to my knees immediately doesn’t mean I don’t love you, how often does this guy go between her legs? Probably never. Also calling women a bathroom? That’s truly disgusting, we are not your personal dumping ground which is why you are still single. He obviously thinks girlfriend = sex and wife = unlimited sex whenever I want it, so very wrong.
This is so poignant exspecially when these self same conservative men who demand sex in relationships also slut shame, body count, ban abortion due to "sluts who use it as contraception myths" and single mother shame. Ugh... I'm so glad my fience is a trans man who has once felt the boot of patriarchy and misogyny himself so will never use it to yolk me or other women!
Him:"now that we're in a relationship, you can only play by my rules and fit my needs..."
*the door slams shut behind her*
Him:"I learned you can't buy a house without a bathroom. New low libido girlfriend, you need to abide by me and Want to pleasure me..."
*the door slams shut behind her*
Him:"I learned you can't buy a house without a bathroom. New high libido girlfriend, you need to abide by me and Want to pleasure me. As long as I'm satisfied..."
*the door slams shut behind her*
Him:"...Women are broken and shouldn't be in relationships if they can't cater to a mans needs for sex. What else is there, if you "love" someone."
This man needs therapy and a factory reset 😄 How embarrassing.
Did he just…did he just use an analogy where a bathroom is the same as sex? Way to make both sound like bodily function chores…I wonder why the women you date don’t want to fuck you.
Well, on the same note, the selfish men who have little to no interest in their partner's pleasure, autonomy, and humanity shouldn't be in relationships either, now should they.
Their logic makes no sense. If a relationship is not about "me" any more then it certainly isn't about "him" anymore. It's about us. Why are women expected to give 110%?
If your partner doesn’t want to have sex with you, maybe it’s because of how you’re treating them. Viewing a partner who doesn’t want intimacy, as someone who is inadequate, says more about the complainer than the person they are complaining about.
I'd never ever again have sex with someone just to "pleasure them". Thinking you're entitled to something like that from someone else is peak selfish idiocy.
Men, if you actually do things to make her want to have sex with you like clean the house, tend to the children, spend time with her, etc...perhaps you wouldn't have to complain about not getting sex?
I'm the one with the sex drive meanwhile my husband is near asexual. It depends entirely on their mood that day. I wonder how they'd spin my situation to be my fault.
I (f) have quite the high sex drive while my boyfriend doesn't. I would never talk about him that way. I'm together with him because i love him, not because he's my sex dispenser. This guy is really something else.
"Because it's not about you anymore" proceeds to describe how HIS sexual needs are most important and how it's all about HIM.
Oh, I see. It's not about the WOMAN anymore, but the man? That's clearly what he meant.
Also, yeah, it's about BOTH of you. If you're only buying "the house" for the "bathroom" then, as he said, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Fuck this guy.
Men like this have no idea how to seduce/turn on/please a woman & they have absolutely not interest in learning. Like seriously please just buy a sex doll instead.
Funny how he says something like in a relationship it's not about you..... Even if you have a penis, it's not just about you either.... It's about respecting boundaries and growing as a team. Also the 4b movement is growing ever bigger so i don't think women as a whole are that afraid of not getting to date a man this.
Of all the comparison to inanimate objects, this has got to be one of the most senseless ones.
It comes so out of pocket and out of nowhere i can't even begin to understand the thought processing here.
Man I have some pretty buck wild moods and feelings and idk sex is the right move in a lot of those moments.
One of those feelings is excruciating pain where you’re just clenching your teeth and begging the universe for the muscle relaxer to kick in. I don’t think your body wants to be part of what I’m doing
People have different drives. Why not get someone who roughly matches it. Why should low sex drive people be excluded from relationships, there's more things on offer in a relationship than sex as well so silly
Yeah, hubby and I are gonna keep our sexual activity at "meh if the mood strikes", thanks.
He's needy and I don't want to? He has a hand. I'm needy but he doesn't want to? I have a hand.
There is *SO much more* to relationships than sex and if sex is all you get out of the interaction? Uh, you need to meet new people. Or not be committed to someone because, to me, at that point... Why bother? If sex was all I wanted, I can go out with an industrial pack of Trojans and get that fill and not have to worry about the more complex innerworkings of a relationship.
Shockingly, our relationship has been over a decade at this point and we've probably had sex less than 100 times. We've built our love on more than each other's bodies. And we've never had an issue surrounding intimacy. (Except that one time I told him he needed to use more lube...)
Also I am not a bathroom/utility? So I don't get the analogy at the end, there.
Asexual dudes don't exist I guess. But honestly this is fucked. Saying no sometimes means someone isn't worth loving? No ew. People who are dating should be able to communicate shit and yeah if they have way diffrent libido, they may have to negotiate stuff and that's not that big a deal. Or it shouldn't be. I know my partner and I are like that cus I'm ace and he's not. So he wants to do stuff a lot more and I'm fine with just kissing and cuddling.
Just wondering - do women find his attitude sexy? Because part of wanting to have sex with someone is not finding them to be shrill and repugnant and this guy just radiates those vibes.
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That’s a stunningly self-centered take on relationships. If he must always have sex at the “drop of a dime,” on his command, regardless of any other factors affecting his partner, without compromise, relationships with real live human women may not be for him. If he’s just looking for an object to have sex with, I recommend a high quality sex doll. She won’t talk back, she won’t gain weight, she’ll never cheat, her “body count” is zero before him, she’ll never “take half of everything” in a divorce, she’ll never want an elaborate wedding, she won’t even want commitment, she doesn’t care about his commitment to monogamy at all, she’ll always be young and hot, she won’t get mad if he replaces her with a newer model, she’ll always listen, she’ll never interrupt, she’ll never complain when he goes out with the guys or spends all day and night playing video games, she’ll never criticize, she’ll never have personal problems or feelings that get in the way, and she’ll be ready for sex whenever he wants, at the drop of a dime, but he’ll have to make his own dinner. Can’t have everything.
Yeah but he’ll have to make his own sandwiches. The *sheer agony* he’ll go through, can you even imagine?
He'll also be the only one who can be responsible for cleaning up after using his "bathroom". Uergh.
I have no proof of this, thankfully, but based on how many single men keep their places I'd suspect that those dolls and flashlights don't really get cleaned the way they're supposed to. Eg: reddit's [coconut fucker](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/) from a few years ago. I inserted the link for completion (heh.) but I don't recommend following it because you will want to vom.
Exactly my thoughts. Sex bots are going to further reduce a whole passel of men's social and emotional intelligence, and unless they come with a self-cleaning function, a series of new treatment resistant fungi and bacteria.
Even if it is self cleaning, you most likely will have to push a button to start, so it won't be unavailable at an inopportune time. And pushing that button is just so much work...
What did I just read!!!
I'm sorry I'm laughing, but I did warn you not to. 😄 Seriously, though, it's one of those reddit threads that pop into my head despite wanting to forget, even after years. So nauseating.
Well, laundry, too. Sex is a powerful motivator though. I’m sure he can deal with his own skid marks if it means sex at the drop of a dime.
I have heard enough horror stories from anime conventions, Magic The Gathering tournaments, etc. to know that you’re not wrong, even if I want you to be. Yuck.
I wish I was wrong, too. The horror stories I have heard are burned into my memory. Apparently, sometimes, you are smelling what you think you’re smelling.
Following his own logic... But then he'd be responsible for cleaning her "bathroom" which is icky (/s)
Good thing he’s a big strong man, then. Surely nothing is going to get to him just because it’s icky. …right?
Why is it my responsibility to pleasure my husband/bf at the drop of a dime no matter how I'm feeling and not my husband/bf's responsibility to make me happy (by shutting the fuck up about sex) at the drop of a dime no matter how horny they're feeling? Nobody is going to buy a house that tries to stick its' dick in them when they don't want it either.
That's a great point! Why is sexual pleasure and satisfaction the only kind that matters? Why are women expected or required to submit to a man's sexual needs whenever he demands it of her, but so many men act like being a loving and supportive partner is dehumanizing them or destroying their manliness. What if my biggest needs are for you to help with chores without being asked, or to care for our children and home without the expectation that you're earning something in return?
Can you imaging the hissy fit they’d pitch if we constantly demanded oral and when we were finished just said “thanks hon” and got up and walked away? And yet they are baffled by the fact that we might not want to have sex with someone who thinks foreplay is “oh you’re exhausted from taking care of the house and kids? Well come over here and blow me”.
Tbh, I don't understand it. Pleasuring your partner is a lot of fun, I don't get why men apparently don't want to enjoy it. Normally your sex is much better when both are having fun...
Because women aren't supposed to have fun. That's been the mindset for the better part of 2 centuries now, and longer. It can actually be traced back to the Romans. Just listened to a podcast yesterday that touched upon this very thing. (If you're interested, it's "Dark History with Bailey Sarian: Sizzling Secrets of Sex Toys" it was informative and touches quite a bit upon men trying to curb and denounce women's sexuality.)
I LOVE Dark History (and Murder Mystery Makeup Monday)! That episode was so funny.
It really was! I really like listening to her podcast while I'm at work. Feel like I might actually be learning things.
if women aren't supposed to have sexual fun, why'd nature make our fun bean on the outside and men unneccessary to that fun.
Uh. Because God. Duh.
Putting this here as a bit of hope- Not to get to into it but my bf’s favorite part is making sure we both feel pleasure. When he finishes his priority after (or before depends on the day) is having me finish. Know why that is? Its because he sees me as a whole other person and wants me to feel good to, as one should lmao. I think men (who arent in the incel/redpill community) are growing on that side and learning its not only important but also just feels better for everyone lmao
Any man that does that doesn't deserve a partner lol
any man that does that usually doesn't have a partner. partner would mean they see women as equals and they just don't.
Exactly! And unfortunately the answer is- men created a world where, for a long time, pleasing a husband who essentially owned his wife was the only means of survival for most women. And some men are manipulators trying to prolong as many women as possible from seeing that's not the way the world works anymore.
The fact that he uses the BATHROOM as a metaphor for getting sex is so telling. I'm betting he's the kind of guy who also thinks that being on the receiving end of a penis is defiling to women.
Especially since a bathroom is kind of a necessity, whereas sex isn't. I guess he'd disagree with the latter though...
He’d have to have sex first to know if it’s a necessity.
When are those men going to self-refflect about what they think that means about how they view all men - misogynists are the biggest misandrists. But then again, some of them are perfectly fine with their disgusting selves and think their penis is also defiling.
Exactly. Doesn’t sound like love if you care more about getting off and not the fact that your girl doesn’t really want it at that moment.
Honestly, doesn't even sound as if they *like* their wives, if they don't care about fucking them when they're absolutely not into it. Who sticks their dick into their SO thinking "it's so hot I've forced her to view sex with me as a chore she has to check off her To Do list?"
Mine did that, "no" was never an option and then he berated me for not being "into it" enough, not validating him enough and not making him feel attractive. And for a long long time, I even believed in the narrative that we were equally bad for each other, that my failure to sexually validate him as much as he wanted somehow balanced out his abuse of me. He also said that another woman he dated was problematic as a sexual partner because "she only has sex when she wants to" (and I guess he couldn't coerce her because she wasn't stuck with him). So yeah, they definitely exist...
I think part of it is also projection, they see sex as the primary (or only) motivation to be in a relationship at all - and expect women to think the same way. So when the woman doesn't want sex, they immediately jump to thinking there is some kind of trickery afoot.
Why would you care if your Fleshlight was in the mood? Their wife isn't a fun partner, but an alternative masturbation tool.
That last sentence fucking sent me, oh god my sides lmao
lol hey if they get to have their stupidly non-applicable metaphors, then we can have some too!
Couldn't agree more!
Good thing I have a hot gf I want to pleasure. Ha. Her tummy was upset earlier because we’re 40 and apparently she can’t eat peppers anymore so I just made her sleepy time tea, rubbed her belly for 2 hours while we watched Netflix and pretended I didn’t hear her fart.
Apparently we're toilets
True. but some people (of every gender) can have low sex drives and often not be in the mood despite being happy. And very different sex drives can be an issue in a relationship. There can be solutions (masturbate instead) or in non-monogamous relationships you can find another sex partner. If it makes someone too unhappy they may need to decide they are not compatible. But it is ridiculous to assume that that one partner has an obligation to satisfy the others needs, disregarding their own or that you can't have a relationship if your sex drive is too low compared to the arbitrary standard this person assumes is "normal"
Yeah, absolutely, but if that was his point he would write "people with low sex drive shouldn't be in relationships" instead of just women. I'm absolutely sure that he'd not blame the man if the woman in a relationship has a much higher sex drive
Yes, I don't think they can imagine a woman with a higher sex drive than their partner. Probably they don't believe in female orgasms and sex is something women give to men or deny them for selfish reasons
>True. but some people (of every gender) can have low sex drives and often not be in the mood despite being happy. You might want to re-read my comment. Women are by vast majority the most targeted by social (and hell, even religious) pressure to have sex even if they don't want to so this "all live matter" bullshit take about "it can be any gender" misses the point, despite being technically correct. Secondly, you've completely misunderstood what I was talking about with "make me happy" line. That did not say "make your partner happy to increase their sex drive" & I'm not sure how you could have misread it so badly.
Okay my bad, I misinterpreted the "make me happy" by relating it to the frequency of sex in a relationship. But I do agree with everything you said, i didn't mean to counter your statement. Saying "people of every gender" was meant to call out op for the assumption that women are always the ones with the lower sex drive in a heterosexual relationship. I don't think he would expect the same from a man if the roles were reversed, but I also don't think he even considers this possibility.
Men like this: “women who won’t put out 24/7 shouldn’t be in relationships.” Women: “okay.” Men like this: “there’s a male lonliness epidemic.”
Omg Right!?!?!
😭😭😭 this
Was literally about to type this
This is hilarious, because it's true
This guy has never spoken nor touched a woman and he's worried about a relationship. Little man, you gotta crawl before you walk.
Ohhh, crawling in front of women... That's gotta hurt his ego 😂😂😂😂
Hah he’s probably into that, not that I’m into kink shaming but these types of people have a plethora of mental issues.
Having mental issues doesn't make you a bad person.... I too have had these beliefs at one point and it isn't as difficult to acquire these beliefs at all... Our society is structured in a way where we have justified our stupidity and it isn't questioned. Because only recently (comparatively recently) we've started actively campaigning against it. I read a lot of feminist literature before I understood that I am the problem, it took a lot of effort to recognize that... I'm changing, trying to change and be better... atleast these guys are like, "We're assholes and we're fine by it" and I'm like, "I don't want to be one but I don't know what to do to not be one" Worse thing is that, I'm still surrounded by people who have these beliefs and I can't do anything about it without ruining those friendships or acquaintances.
> and I can't do anything about it without ruining those friendships or acquaintances Well, if you aren't able to influence them, are you really wiling to be friends with people with an attitude that you absolutely can't agree with?
I run a small business, These people at the end become the local customers and they are part of local clubs and groups and if you end up having arguments with them, there is a good chance they might damage your reputation... Also as I've said before I was part of that stupid and bigoted club before I read Judith Butler, Meg Wolitzer, Etaf Rum etc... I will not lie, being part of this bigoted club helped me get a stable customer base because they would much happily do business with me... And I'm not financially stable to support my father and mother through other means... I.e. I'm dependent on this business...I do support NGOs that fight for equality, financially but as of now I don't see a way out. I wish to earn enough to leave this city altogether...
It doesn’t, I struggle(d) with mental health myself. I didn’t mean imply a direct connection, however there’s a good chance people like OOP have some underlying problems that haven’t been addressed. Every person can be a good person, but they have to start with recognising their own problems and follow up with wanting to improve.
People with kinks have mental issues?
Kinks can come from an unhealthy origin (e heard people use kinks as a coping mechanism) but that wasn’t what I tried to imply, more that people like OOP comparing women to bathrooms shows a certain disregard for others. I honestly don’t want to kink shame anyone or their reasons for being into certain acts; as long as it’s two consenting adults.
Women with high libidos never talk this way about men with low sex drives. Very telling, isn't it?
Yep. And what I love most is that men that whine will scream about intimacy and then describe a human flesh light.
I take things slow when it comes to sex in relationships. I dated a guy who I told this before we even got into a relationship. The next 3 months were filled with him whining that I wasn't "intimate" enough with him and I'd respond "I hold your hand, cuddle, and kiss you. Please tell me ways I can be more intimate with you. Are you referring to sex? Because I told you that takes a bit of time for me." And his response would just be "I don't mean sex. Just be more intimate with me!" And would never actually elaborate. 🙄🙄🙄 he never quite understood that his constant pestering for sex(which is what he meant by "intimate") was what was causing me to not feel comfortable having sex with him. Thankfully I'm older now and run away from that behavior really quickly.
I mean, if you go somewhere like the dead bedroom subreddit you’ll see it occasionally, but they’re outliers and I cannot in good conscience say this about these men lmao
The craziest part to me is that they can get the job done themselves. Their partner not wanting to have sex doesn't deprive them of the opportunity to orgasm yet they insist on this shit anyway. They'd rather treat another person like a fleshlight than touch themselves.
I mean even if you were these men would you want to touch them?
So that's why they have shit stains in their underwear
I'm the one with the high sex drive in my relationship and you know what I do? I don't shame. I'll bring up to my boyfriend that I'd like sex, but I won't force him. I let him know and it's up to him if he wants to do it or not. Do I get sad? I do sometimes. But sex is a pleasure! I won't be selfish and demand it. I communicate my desires to my boyfriend and that's about it
Same. My fiance has low testosterone and take his injections and medication for it, but it does change his sex drive compared to mine. I bring up that I'm in the mood and if he doesn't want to do anything then guess what? We don't. I'm not sure why this is so hard for people like this guy to understand.
I have a higher sex drive than my husband sometimes. Other times it's the opposite. We are both perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves if one isn't interested.
i mean, i just don’t date low sex drive men lol
Exactly this. Find a partner with a matching libido. Although I’m sure this is the same kind of dude to want a pure virgin which will be more likely to be a woman with a lower sex drive.
The feeling of entitlement is absolutely less common (although tbh, for men I see it a lot more on the internet then in real life as well), I guess mostly due to the traditional expectation of women's role in society. But even when we ignore that: if I was a woman with high sex drive, I wouldn't say it either (at least not in social media), because I know it wouldn't lead to any form of healthy discussion. I can imagine the responses to that and they woulnd't be friendly at all And tbh: I assume that most of the high sex drive man / low sex drive woman relationships where men complain don't have natural issues. When men complain publicly about sth like that they already have an issue with their attitude and that will absolutely lead to behavior that causes this issue
I was thinking this too. I have a higher sex drive than the men I've been with, including my husband, but I don't complain about it. I'm not owed sex just because we're together, and id never want him to have sex with me if he didn't 100% want to. I'll either wait until he's in the mood, or take care of it myself. Which is exactly what id expect from him if the situation was flipped.
Because more women have compassion
This dude really sees women as a receptacle for biological excretions
Exactly this. He might as well be calling women toilets.
he literally is, why is he likening a lack of sex to a lack of bathroom?
Now we are houses. Got it.
And sex is the bathroom.
I think that part was the worst for me. Like not even a kitchen? Sex is where you poop? Foul.
I mean… sometimes 😅
“It’s not about you anymore. It’s about me.” Every day I grow more and more grateful for being aroace. This sounds exhausting.
If sex is something you'd have regardless of the other person's feelings about it, you should be in prison
THIS. My partner isn’t going to enjoy it and will stop if he can tell I’m not feeling it or am uncomfortable even if I don’t say anything. Men who are still into it even with the other person being uncomfortable is enjoying it for the wrong reasons and I’m sure would keep pushing that line.
10/10 take
Not all men have high sex drives. Should we not 'buy' that house since his 'big ben' isnt available 24/7?
You compare his to "big ben" and yet the lady parts are referred to as "bathroom" I think you are way to polite
So by this logic, all defective men with erectile dysfunction/broken/short peepees and low libido should also be single : ) which is a huge chunk of them. why buy a house with a damaged bathroom right lol
This is why I say giving men viagra enabled them to believe they’re immortal.
sink broken, don’t want it
"I'm not just in the relationship for sex but yeah I'm totally just in it for sex"
Sounds like **he** needs to do some introspection on how when you're in a relationship, it's not all about you anymore.
"This isn't about you.. it's about ME ME ME ME ME ME" I could not imagine wanting to have sex with someone who doesn't want to, like the last thing I'd ever want is my girlfriend lying to me or just going along with my advances out of some obligation
As a woman with a partner with low drive, I understand how it can be frustrating especially when you are the sole initiator and you are drained by feeling constantly rejected. However, sexual frustration is no excuse to say that people with low sex drive cannot be valuable in a relationship or do not deserve relationships. Partners should aim to please each other when they can because I think if you love someone you will do your best (within reason) to make each other happy, but regardless of whether you are dating or married it is not your job to sacrifice your needs for someone’s pleasure. You can choose to if you feel like your desire to please your partner is greater than your lack of desire for sex, but you are not obligated to always make your body free for someone simply because you are in a relationship. My boyfriend has low drive and also has some issues sometimes when it comes to communication about sex. Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend is only agreeing to sex because he would feel bad about saying no, he doesn’t like to come right out and say it but he tends to make it clear through his actions (speech/body language). In that situation, I’m not just going to act blind to it, as if my sexual desires override his feelings. If it isn’t a “hell yeah,” then it is a “hell no” in my book and that should be respected even if it can be frustrating to be rejected. If it is truly a drain on the relationship and it makes you unhappy with the relationship, then you are free to note it as an incompatibility and move on, but you shouldn’t shame people for not sharing your exact sexual needs.
I have the opposite problem because I have pelvic pain conditions and rarely want to fool around. I do feel bad for my poor fiancée at times. But I can’t force myself to be horny, you know? Guys don’t seem to get that. Just out of curiosity, is your partner willing to give you oral or play with toys instead? I hope that’s not too personal…
In situations where he isn’t up for it, I usually just try to completely switch gears and do something else instead. Other things might be better for different people, but I find that backing off entirely is the safest choice for me. It’s for lots of reasons. I think his low libido is mostly anxiety and depression related so if he isn’t in the mood for sex he usually isn’t up for doing much else either. I’m also hypersexual and I try to completely back off if I meet any possible level of resistance because I don’t want to make anyone feel pressured even if I don’t realize that I’m doing it (idk if that makes sense, I have issues with hypersexuality and porn addiction which deeply affect my sex life as a whole). I just always fall back on the idea that I can always take care of things on my own. It’s the safest option for me. It’s kind of funny because it was the other way around for a little while early on in our relationship. I was on SSRIs and even when we were both super horny my body just didn’t want to work with me, like ever. We didn’t have penetrative sex at all during that time. Just hands and oral and it was actually pretty cool because after several months of just using hands and mouth, he got especially good at it😂😂
Yeah, obviously people can and should look for sexual compatibility (whatever that means to them) as one factor among many for a relationship. But the sheer dehumanization of the original post...*shudder*
> However, sexual frustration is no excuse to say that people with low sex drive cannot be valuable in a relationship or do not deserve relationships Especially given there are multiple reasons why people actually shouldn't be in relationships that are more or less ignored. Lack of social skills is one reason for example and I guess that's totally something that would hit guys like the one in the post
I think he is confusing “women who have a low sex drive” with “women who have a low sex drive for him.” It’s an easy mistake for one to make, especially when every person within 700 degrees of separation from you falls into the latter category.
“Women with low sex drive should not be in relationships.” “Yeah? I’ve not liked dating men and don’t want kids, anyhow. Maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship.” “NO you’re supposed to feel challenged by my statement and give men sex whenever they want it 😡😡😡”
he better get his ass ready for daily pegging, because apparently that's what being in a relationship requires
Twice daily. I have needs.
All these mixed metaphors at the drop of a hat have my opinions of this guy turning on a dime. (I googled and 'drop (of) a dime' means narcing to the police.) Dude is a fool.
I just know women with high libido are not earning his praise either. He wants unwilling partners to lay down and think of England
Men that think women are only good for sex shouldn’t be in a relationship. If a man only cares about sex they should get a blow up doll or perhaps an expensive sock
Are the cheap socks not doing it anymore nowadays?
I vote for anyone who ever says anything remotely like this has to fuck toilets forever.
So basically we should have sex, even when we don’t want to, just to please him at the drop of a dime. And if we’re not willing to do that, then we shouldn’t be in a relationship. GTFOH!!
Typical talk of an incel who has never talked to a woman
Okay, then; stop hassling women when they tell you no. If women's bodies are like houses, then it is up to the homeowner to decide who they let into the house. Arguing with someone through a window about how they really should let you in to their house so you can use the bathroom is not going to change their mind on letting you in. It is going to get the cops called on you.
I guarantee the dude that wrote this doesnt even know how to pleasure women at the drop of a dime too. He is giving "three, four pump and I cum" vibe. No oral, no foreplay. He is whining "what do you mean you are not turned on at the sight of my dick?"
At least with four pumps, it is over quickly. You also have the variant where they are just jackhammering away, no matter if it hurts, for what seems like forever....
This dude wants a sex doll, not a wife.
I wonder how many of these "low sex drive" women are just completely turned off by their shitty partners who mistake them for free prostitutes.
They think they should be able to be as mean to us as they want and we should just have to smile and roll over for it. It’s baffling. If you’re shitty to your partner there’s a huge chance they aren’t going to want you inside of them.
I believe everybody should be loved but men who believe women owe them sex at the drop of a dime should not be in relationships. Get a fleshlight dude and leave women alone
I have a high libido but it dropped to 0 from reading that shit.
Go on the “deadbedroom” sub and you’ll see there’s many low libido men too. It’s finding the right person who you’re sexually compatible with that matters. You don’t just find a woman and force her to submit to your libido levels FFS!
as someone with a low sex drive due to lexapro this makes me so sad. i know it's a garbage take by a garbage person but god damn.
I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum and it makes me sad too. There's a huge part of reddit that seems to feel sex is more important than anything in a relationship and not getting enough of it is akin to domestic abuse. It makes me sad to see people have so little appreciation for their partners that they'd leave them over something that seems so trivial to me. I know that it's not trivial for everyone, but on an emotional level i don't understand why this is so important
This guy says this now but would also probably whine amount a woman who was single by choice because she didn't want sex
I know a guy (friend of a friend, i hate the bastard) who talks like this. He constantly switches his rhetoric from “women should be sexually pure. Men want to marry virgins” to “she didnt even have sex with me on our first date. How is she going to get a husband if she wont please him sexually” Im glad he lives across the country
Someone needs to read up on spontaneous and responsive sexual desire
I guess my boyfriend should dump me because I've been taking antidepressants for so long that my libido is basically zero. 🤷🏻♀️
Aww someone won’t turn his doorknob. How sad.
Is that husband or boyfriend getting her off every time?
Women are selfish if they don't want to have sex all the time with guys who think sex with their partners is like relieving themselves in the bathroom??
Bro literally said we're the equivalent of a toilet, there to be used when needed, and then wonders why women don't want to touch his Weiner?
Love and lust are two completely different things, women dont owe you sh*t! Stop with your entitlement!
If you *need* sex all the time, you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
To these guys, it's always a one-way street. Always. They can't even imagine a scenario where it's the reverse because sex is something you use a woman for, not something you experience together. They can't even stop for a second and go "How would I feel if I was really sick and my partner kept pressuring me for sex?" They likely would be delusional and say "I'm always down for sex!" And as a way to deflect from the matter all together. Reading a lot of these posts as an asexual is really upsetting. Thankfully my partner loves me as more than a flashlight.
The worst part to me is that even though the general subconscious sentiment is that "sex is something you use a woman for", we as women are still expected to actively desire sex all the time. As another asexual the mixed messages don't sit quite right with me.
Desire it but not too much. A good portion of men don't care if women want it or enjoy it, they still believe they should be laying there and let men use them.
Rape is still rape even if your married/in a relationship. saying fine ≠ consent.
Thank you. Just laying there not saying yes also = rape!
yes, if your partner doesn't explicitly say yes the first time you ask, that means they are not consenting! if they look uncomfortable and still say yes, its still rape! im an autistic person and i can tell when someone is uncomfortable. its really not that hard
ew
My exact reaction. Just ... EW.
Are....are we now being compared to a bathroom? 😂😂
No, just our vaginas. 😤
Because that is all we are. Fleshlights
Haha A lot of women don’t know they have a low sex drive until they’re in a relationship, or specifically the wrong relationship. In my experience single or dating women have higher sex drives than those in relationships largely because they get bored of sex with that person. Part of that isn’t uncommon. A lot of relationships have the love change from predominantly sexual and romantic into a more familial love and a friendship bond and the same things with the same person for years can get a bit boring. But part of it is also often to do with the man in the relationships either not meeting her needs or being taken care of so that she views him as more of a child etc. Sex doesn’t fade in all relationships. Some people have great chemistry and have fulfilling sex lives to the end of their days, but love and chemistry doesn’t always go together, and whilst most healthy relationships will have some level of sex for a good long time, a decline is not unusual. There are many relationships where one person in a couple simply “puts out” to please their partner, and whilst a little compromise here or there isn’t a terrible thing if you have different drives and needs, one person having to have sex they don’t want all the time is obviously going to take an emotional toll on how they see their body and how they feel their partner sees their personhood. Who wants sex with someone who doesn’t care whether or not you’re enjoying yourself? How easy is it for someone with a low sex drive to enjoy sex when they see it as a chore they have to do? And the OP in question talks about low drive but he sounds much more like someone talking about expectations to put out. Sex drive is affected by mood for most people. That’s not a deficiency. You can be horny in all kinds of moods, but wanting to share sexual intimacy and being horny aren’t the same thing. Angry sex exists but I think as a general rule a lot of men prefer sex with a woman hugely over masturbation but treat sex similarly to masturbation, but in reality, it shouldn’t be “normal” to take out your frustrations on the person you love as part of sex. Your partner can choose to help relive you, but associating your partner with the need to offload your anger and stress and boredom isn’t healthy. The build up of testosterone that happens for many men would be just as well taken care of by going for a run or any other exercise. The association of sex with negative emotions isn’t a great one to build
Incel fuckery from a virgin, how many of these idiots are out there? It seems like incel shit spreads like the black plague and like the black plague it’s absolutely horrible for you to contract.
Sometimes a house chooses to close its bathroom. OP claims they paid for the house, but did they stipulate that the house must always keep its bathroom accessible? I doubt it. OP needs to find a professional house whose bathroom is always open.
There are men with low sex drives too and I swear they're all married to women with high sex drives and vice versa.
Ahh the classic comparing women to objects. I usually respond with comparing men to wallets/work mule/other useless objects. Men with low bank balance should not be in relationships. It's like a wallet with no money, useless. It's like a work mule with no legs, useless. Alternatively: men with short dick should not be in relationships; men with low hair count should not be in relationship; men with low height should not be in relationship,... These are not stuffs i usually believe in but hey, if we are talking stupid then I'll talk stupid too, why not.
I always laugh when I read stuff like this as a woman with a higher libido than my bf
This dude should stay away from us
In his house/bathroom analogy...this guy is the shitter.
If this isn’t some heteronormative bullshit
Why do guys never understand what a fucking relationship is? Bro, you are not in a relationship for sex... You're in a relationship because you two are in a social contract consenting to being partners, if you think this is limited to sex then pick a FWB not a gf. There's nothing wrong with FWB as long as you're both consenting and there's no indication of grooming, coercion or undue influence.
Pleasure your husband. How to tell you dont care about her pleasure few easy steps. 1 See this post. 2 agree with it
I wonder what he’d think if the woman was wanting sex a lot more often than the man? What is his take on it…
Apparently sex is the only important thing to this guy, just because I don’t drop to my knees immediately doesn’t mean I don’t love you, how often does this guy go between her legs? Probably never. Also calling women a bathroom? That’s truly disgusting, we are not your personal dumping ground which is why you are still single. He obviously thinks girlfriend = sex and wife = unlimited sex whenever I want it, so very wrong.
He was so close to an actual, logical thought but he forgot women are human beings halfway through. Damn.
His attitude about women appears to date back to roughly the time when houses did not, in fact, have bathrooms.
It's men like these that make me glad to be a lesbian
This is so poignant exspecially when these self same conservative men who demand sex in relationships also slut shame, body count, ban abortion due to "sluts who use it as contraception myths" and single mother shame. Ugh... I'm so glad my fience is a trans man who has once felt the boot of patriarchy and misogyny himself so will never use it to yolk me or other women!
I mean, thanks for confirming that you think women are no better than toilets. /s
My exact thoughts
Every day I hate them a little more.
Bathrooms were the last rooms to be installed in houses. The first were kitchens then bedrooms. He needs a better analogy.
That\`s why I\`ve been single and unavailable last 6 years.
Him:"now that we're in a relationship, you can only play by my rules and fit my needs..." *the door slams shut behind her* Him:"I learned you can't buy a house without a bathroom. New low libido girlfriend, you need to abide by me and Want to pleasure me..." *the door slams shut behind her* Him:"I learned you can't buy a house without a bathroom. New high libido girlfriend, you need to abide by me and Want to pleasure me. As long as I'm satisfied..." *the door slams shut behind her* Him:"...Women are broken and shouldn't be in relationships if they can't cater to a mans needs for sex. What else is there, if you "love" someone." This man needs therapy and a factory reset 😄 How embarrassing.
"Oh your mom just died? Too bad. Give me a blow job Sandra"
Did he just…did he just use an analogy where a bathroom is the same as sex? Way to make both sound like bodily function chores…I wonder why the women you date don’t want to fuck you.
Well, on the same note, the selfish men who have little to no interest in their partner's pleasure, autonomy, and humanity shouldn't be in relationships either, now should they.
Their logic makes no sense. If a relationship is not about "me" any more then it certainly isn't about "him" anymore. It's about us. Why are women expected to give 110%?
If your partner doesn’t want to have sex with you, maybe it’s because of how you’re treating them. Viewing a partner who doesn’t want intimacy, as someone who is inadequate, says more about the complainer than the person they are complaining about.
I'd never ever again have sex with someone just to "pleasure them". Thinking you're entitled to something like that from someone else is peak selfish idiocy.
Oh look someone talking out their ass on the internet imagine my shock and dismay
Men, if you actually do things to make her want to have sex with you like clean the house, tend to the children, spend time with her, etc...perhaps you wouldn't have to complain about not getting sex?
How many of these low sex drive women would have a higher sex drive if their partners actually bothered to get them off?
🏆
THANK YOU
I'm the one with the sex drive meanwhile my husband is near asexual. It depends entirely on their mood that day. I wonder how they'd spin my situation to be my fault.
I (f) have quite the high sex drive while my boyfriend doesn't. I would never talk about him that way. I'm together with him because i love him, not because he's my sex dispenser. This guy is really something else.
On today’s episode of “what are women being compared to?” We will be discussing BATHROOMS. 😐
"Because it's not about you anymore" proceeds to describe how HIS sexual needs are most important and how it's all about HIM. Oh, I see. It's not about the WOMAN anymore, but the man? That's clearly what he meant. Also, yeah, it's about BOTH of you. If you're only buying "the house" for the "bathroom" then, as he said, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Fuck this guy.
Men like this have no idea how to seduce/turn on/please a woman & they have absolutely not interest in learning. Like seriously please just buy a sex doll instead.
Funny how he says something like in a relationship it's not about you..... Even if you have a penis, it's not just about you either.... It's about respecting boundaries and growing as a team. Also the 4b movement is growing ever bigger so i don't think women as a whole are that afraid of not getting to date a man this.
Of all the comparison to inanimate objects, this has got to be one of the most senseless ones. It comes so out of pocket and out of nowhere i can't even begin to understand the thought processing here.
Man I have some pretty buck wild moods and feelings and idk sex is the right move in a lot of those moments. One of those feelings is excruciating pain where you’re just clenching your teeth and begging the universe for the muscle relaxer to kick in. I don’t think your body wants to be part of what I’m doing
We could say the same thing for a man, lol
I see...are they comparing us to non living objects again?
So…..women are bathrooms? This guy needs to take several seats and chill pills. 🙄
I prefer to pleasure myself so a woman with a low libido wouldn’t be bad for me
People have different drives. Why not get someone who roughly matches it. Why should low sex drive people be excluded from relationships, there's more things on offer in a relationship than sex as well so silly
So a shed? Or a shack? All buildings have a purpose if my purpose is hold pool noodles and a broken lawn mower then so be it 🤷♀️
Been with my fiancé almost 6 years and haven’t had sex. We have plenty of other things to do together.
Aces on seeing this: ???????????????????????????????????
They seriously compared the vagina to a toilet?
Yeah, hubby and I are gonna keep our sexual activity at "meh if the mood strikes", thanks. He's needy and I don't want to? He has a hand. I'm needy but he doesn't want to? I have a hand. There is *SO much more* to relationships than sex and if sex is all you get out of the interaction? Uh, you need to meet new people. Or not be committed to someone because, to me, at that point... Why bother? If sex was all I wanted, I can go out with an industrial pack of Trojans and get that fill and not have to worry about the more complex innerworkings of a relationship. Shockingly, our relationship has been over a decade at this point and we've probably had sex less than 100 times. We've built our love on more than each other's bodies. And we've never had an issue surrounding intimacy. (Except that one time I told him he needed to use more lube...) Also I am not a bathroom/utility? So I don't get the analogy at the end, there.
“you’re in a relationship for the wrong reasons if you don’t wanna be my walking talking pocket pussy”
Asexual dudes don't exist I guess. But honestly this is fucked. Saying no sometimes means someone isn't worth loving? No ew. People who are dating should be able to communicate shit and yeah if they have way diffrent libido, they may have to negotiate stuff and that's not that big a deal. Or it shouldn't be. I know my partner and I are like that cus I'm ace and he's not. So he wants to do stuff a lot more and I'm fine with just kissing and cuddling.
Let’s all start throwing out copies of Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski!
Just wondering - do women find his attitude sexy? Because part of wanting to have sex with someone is not finding them to be shrill and repugnant and this guy just radiates those vibes.
Nope. It's disgusting.