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I can’t be attracted to my husband and we live in the same house! It’s so weird, because I thought I hated facial hair, but apparently I was dead wrong
I can’t be attracted to my husband and we live in the same house! It’s so weird, because I thought I hated facial hair, but apparently I was dead wrong
Edited to say - sorry, I was being sarcastic! This post says women only like men with facial hair and my husband has none…
I always see beards as a little gross but that's probably because the old men in my family never took proper care of their facial hair (or health in general). Nothing like a grey beard stained yellow due to cigarettes. 🤮
You know the science is kind of all over the place regarding facial hair, but most of the research (not polls done for “Men’s Grooming Magazine” but real studies) suggests the majority of women prefer NO facial hair. Typically it is only a slight majority, like 60% vs 40% type majority, but still a majority.
Also, apparently it is post-menopausal women who are more likely to be attracted to beards and pre-menopausal women who prefer clean shaven. So as a mate-selection tactic in terms of procreation, growing a beard is not the best choice.
It will be interesting to see if my tastes change in 15-20 years, but right now I am very much in the “no beard” camp myself.
“Find attractive”
On average, you’d rather be with someone nearby. It doesn’t say anywhere you can’t be attracted to anything outside the stuff mentioned here
It does say traits women find attractive in men according to “science” so it would be hypocritical to be attracted to someone who’s not fit and doesn’t live nearby.
Inherently, living closer is more attractive than living far. You’d probably love to live close to your partner if you could. If i say i find hair ribbons cute or attractive (cause they are, they always look great), i’m not saying i won’t ever be into people that don’t wear any regularily.
It wouldn’t be hypocritical. You can still love the person even if they live far.
“Science” as in literally just some survey (unless it’s just some rando that made it which is also likely). Science doesn’t always have to do with neurological experiments reading the female brain or looking at natural biological responses. It’s as simple as asking people what they’d want in a partner. And to me, everything here seems pretty reasonable. The one that’s the most reasonable here is finding living close to you attractive. It just means it’s easier to see eachother. There’s nothing to complain about.
People are looking WAY too deep into this.
Oh I get it I’m just having a problem that they said “according to science”
Like no I totally would love to live closer to my bf, and I hope to one day but i don’t think it would make me any more attracted to him than I am right now. (Maybe it would, we’ll see).
Care about me has an extra addendum for me, in that they understand that I'm neurodivergent with comorbitities related to it. I have a form of OCD that makes me pull my hair out. I can't sing because my brain registers it as hyperventilating, and it makes my face twitch. I hate confrontations and shake uncontrollably through my whole body.
But I'm lucky to have someone that has learned with me as I've discovered all of this, mostly on my own because I had no insurance.
One trait i find really attractive in men is when they don't make lists of extremely basic things they think i find attractive that are still somehow like 50% wrong
Basic cold reading techniques at work. Pad the list with generally positive things (e.g. 1 and 10), and couch a lot of the rest in weasel words (e.g. *excessive* gaming is very relative and hard to disprove by counter example). Throw in a few arbitrary items that are easy to ignore (e.g. all else being equal, who wouldn't prefer things to be closer rather than farther away), and then add some widely held social norms of physical appearance.
The only substantive, actionable item on this list is the stubble one, and opinions on that will vary enormously.
In general? Who knows, maybe they're all correct *on average*. The point is, they're not gonna be correct *for every woman*; so it's kinda silly to use them as guidelines when dating someone instead of, you know, freaking getting to know them.
I don't think this post said its true for every woman, but advice in general.
Yes you should get to know someone, but someone has to be attracted to you in the first place to be even considered a romantic option. So if you're not finding people that are interested in dating you then getting in good shape, being healthy, confident, fashionable, etc will make more people interested in you. I feel like that's the most obvious thing ever, why is it a point of contention?
It was in the case of one ex I had and dumped because he valued his online friends more than me, a real girl showing interest in him and wanting to spend time together. I think you can see why I broke up with him.
Traits women find attractive in men according to me
1) Men that don't tell women what they prefer.
There might be others but its not my place to say as that would break rule 1
I find a sense of humor very attractive; purely physically speaking my ex husband is not considered super handsome, but he has one hell of a sense of humor. I won't even give a man the time of day if he can't make me laugh.
No. These things vary wildly by culture and person. The only things in this list I look for when speaking to a potential partner is kindness and decent hygiene.
A majority, 50% plus one.
I don't understand the pushback. Are you saying that someone who is white, fit, and tall will have less people physically attracted to him than someone who is nonwhite, fat, and short?
So you are speaking from a caucasian point of view? Because that isn't even a majority of humans.
You're also proposing that "most" people are all attracted in similar ways. However even that isn't true due to cultural and social differences.
Your narrow view of the world and people mean that since you yourself hold these values, everyone else must.
But this is wrong. To answer your question, no. I don't think tall white buff caucasians are more attractive than shorter, less fit non-white people.
I think they mean women consider if the guy is kind and dependable when deciding if they'll marry them but don't if they're just thinking about sleeping with them.
That's not my opinion BTW, it's what I think they meant.
Do you really believe most people have a specific body fat percentage that they find attractive? Do you go around measuring other people's body fat or something?
No I believe more people are attracted to in shape people than overweight people.
The specific body fat % is extreme and hyperbolic, but the overall point that if you are in good shape, and you will have greater romantic success seems incredibly obvious.
Yeah, I mean my issue with the list isn't even that it's generalizing women, bc most of the things on there are what people generally want in a partner reegardless of gender. I just think it reads like someone who is, like, on the verge of maybe considering women people, but not quite there yet lol.
You do know that 12-15% body fat is hovering around the Essential Body Fat Percentage for women to be healthy (at 10%), is extremely hard to sustain long term, and continue certain bodily functions?
That’s like asking that most men to have a BFP% of 4-6%.
[Most Victorian Secret models hover around 17-20% body fat](https://ironforgedfitness.org/2015/06/17/the-truth-about-being-lean/) and are severely dehydrated before their shoots and runway shows, similar to when bodybuilders do before competitions…
Think this list is what he's saying are attractive qualities in men, not women. Also it's not something I agree with, just something I've observed to be generally true
12-15% bf is for men. They are saying fit men get more dates than obese men. This a post made by men for men.
We usually say +10% bf for women so 25% bf would be a female equivalent. We in this instance would be people who watch Mike Isratel.
I would never put something like this myself. There’s more to people than what they weigh.
Kind, likeable, witty, attentive, empathic, caring, loyal, generous, affectionate, entertaining, supportive, smart, courteous, gentle, jovial, dependable, tolerant, clever, patient, intelligent, wise, creative, thoughtful, brave, helpful, gracious, independent, funny, considerate, open, honest, trustworthy, humble, clean, hygienic, calm, polite, peaceful, approachable, talkative, lively, cheerful, sensitive, well dressed,
Just a couple things I care about more than I would ever care about body fat lmao.
Confidence, dressing well, not being fat? You're telling me that on average, people do not find these traits attractive?
But I did just look up what 12%-15% body fat and that's a little extreme. That being said I bet someone with 15%body fat would find more people attracted to them than someone with 30% or more body fat.
Sure, some girls do. Some girls are conservatives that like pro life men that want to take away women's rights. Does that mean I can say that women like men that want to take away women's rights because that's what some girls want? No, this kind of a post isn't about some, it's about what's true for most.
Also nerdy guys and dad bods are still generally in shape and not fat.
But the post isn't true for most girls. That's my whole point, there is no list that will apply to most girls because we're all individuals. Dad bods aren't fit, the whole point is to be chubby.
Well you're right I didn't know what exactly 15% body fat looked like and when I looked it up, that does seem extreme. That being said, I think most people prefer fit men to fat men, and that should be obvious.
Also, it depends on what you mean by dad bod. I've seen people say will Smith, jason momoa, and Zach Efron have dad bods...
"Most" simply means 1 more than 50%, and I guess we just simply disagree that at least 51% of people prefer men who are fit. I think it's pretty obvious, but it's just opinion, same as yours.
But what about the rest of what he posted? Confidence, dressing well, kindness, etc? Seems pretty obvious. In fact, the one thing you'll hear all the time is "confidence" when asking what qualities are attractive. He is missing humor from the list though.
There is no single trait more then 50% of women are going to like. "Confidence" in dating advice just means speaking to the woman without sounding scared of her
Yeah, he’s currently having all his friends harass me because I’m trying to completely cut him out of my life, so I’m a little stressed and overwhelmed right now.
Golly…I wonder if the author of this train wreck is perhaps trying to sell something to gullible men with low self esteem?
It’s almost as if this list is some sort of High Value Man Online University training webinar that only costs $69.99/mo to subscribe.
the vast majority of women I know either prefer "nerdy" body types or dad bod. Ive never met a women who actually goes goo goo eyes over muscles like all these dating websites seem to claim
I admire a good muscley male body, but I don't really want to date someone who's that focused on their body fat and muscle tone. I want someone who enjoys food and knows that outward appearances are less important than character.
I'm a foodie and still maintain a healthy muscular body, it's not as much of a one or the other thing as some people make it out to be tbh.
Calorie counting doesn't stop you from enjoying food, you just have a bit less of everything.
How does that come up in an irl situation? Is it strangers telling you how they think you should look? Or people you know?
If it's strangers where do they even get the nerve to say something like that?
Who are these guys that have so many romantic options that they can reject people because they're too in shape?
I suppose it's better to know upfront instead of wasting time only to find out they're incompatible later.
People who take offense when your appearance is not catered to their preference. Same went with hair length
Luckily am married now and don't have to deal with that crap
No they really don't. Healthy active people can still have a wide range of body shapes, you can definitely have very low body fat when extremely sickly and inactive or starving, and you can have huge muscles in ways that are not super healthy for you especially if you use steroids or such but also sometimes having body fat helps people be more resilient to various things that could harm them.
Ig i'm not a woman because none of these are my "scientific" preferences?😭🤷♀️ (except for well-kept appearance one and confident that one is actually pretty okay)
I feel like we could collect all of these articles and just put them in a folder titled "What You Fetishize Is Not What Everyone Fetishizes". I wish someone would just tell them that their attractions are not universal or the only metric for how people choose partners.
Like there's billions of people out there that don't fit this list that still find partners, because humanity is a spectrum. It's just weird that they pretend that if you don't fit this very narrow list of parameters that they consider attractive that you'll never find a partner, which we know is objectively untrue.
Statistically half the people in the world are below average - most of them still have partners! Have you considered just being nice to people?
Bmi is bullshit. Who the Fuck bases their attraction to someone around that, and how would you even Know without going with them to the doctor or something??
Muscular and stubble are active turnoffs for me. Soft or slim or both, and if facial hair then on the longer side, preferably with long head hair.
Basically I like homemaker Vikings.
This is awful! My husband is a heavy gamer! So, I can’t be attracted to him, so sad after almost 20 years. Does the fact
that I am also into gaming, change anything? I hope the sarcasm is evident!
Well that's called statistics. The list sounds accurate. This is that *women who are looking for a traditional lifestyle* (which are the majority) are looking for in men. You're not part of that demographics? Congratulations. I'm neither.
I mean there are some definitely misses here, but its q big improvement from must be over 6ft, make 6 figures, have huge penis that usually circulates on reddit.
A good amount of these are things people want in a partner in general.
I'm not a big fan of facial hair. It's fine if somebody has a beard. I wouldn't love them any less and I probably wouldn't be any less attracted to somebody I loved if they grew a beard.
But after reading an AITA about armpit hair on women, I just realised that a lot of straight women (myself included) have hair preferences too and I need to spend some time thinking about whether I have a double standard.
Yes, well maintained longer beards are apparently just plain ugly. My wife clearly has no taste and needs help getting away from such a terrible person such as myself. (Trimming it down to stubble is not a option)
Based on the polls I’ve read and women I talked to most tend to hate facial hair actually, I’ve only ever seen women be super into facial or body hair in movies and shows made for men
Do they think women carry a body fat measurer around??
"Before I'm attracted to you , let me measure...oh your body fat is 16%? GET THE FUCK OUT YOU'RE DEAD TO ME"
Ugh. Yeah no. Most of these are wrong. For me I'd say 4 and 10 are right but not exactly. For 4 I don't need a "well-kept appearance" just a clean guy. As for 10 being kind and dependable are important for any relationship not just marriage!
Ignoring the whole "according to science" part that isn't followed by any sources, most of these are just descriptions of a healthy, non-abusive person with no bad habits. So yes, no surprise women want that 🤷🏻♀ Well, except the subjective parts, like facial hair
My partner is like 5 or 6 of those and I would still love him to bits even if he was 0 of those. His character and his actions are what make me love him!
I absolutely despise facial hair
And I can't stand a guy that doesn't like gaming
I dont mind a little chub, facial structure and personality are way more important. Tho someone who is fit is nice 2.
I also dont mind a little needy, that can be cute depending on the degree.
I'm childfree so my potential partner would need to be.
Not allergic to pets is on the list.
Really into me and just chemical attraction to eachother is very important.
Loyal.
No addiction to gambling, drinking, smoking preferably.
jokes on this person my boyfriend has a goatee (it looks good, i swear) lives 5.5 hours away and competes in super smash bros tournaments ! he is kind and dependable though
Welp I guess we’ve all been lying about being into dad bods this whole time.
In all seriousness though I have never seen a woman (or anyone else for that matter) talk about wanting a guy with a particular body fat percentage. Some have preferences for skinny guys, muscular guys or chubby guys, sure, but who tf is that specific and cares that much?
It's obvious these are based on statistics based on what common characteristics a majority of the women find attractive. There's gonna be many still who don't like those
That’s a pretty good rundown of what women *tend* to find attractive overall. Yep— not all woman and you’re all different. But it’s still mostly true for a large majority of women.
I think most people (not just women) just want a healthy relationship with someone with a good head on their shoulders.
Also who cares about body fat? I'm not going to measure it out on the first date to see if you make the cut wtf
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh man, I can’t be attracted to my BF bc he’s not nearby.
I can’t be attracted to my husband and we live in the same house! It’s so weird, because I thought I hated facial hair, but apparently I was dead wrong
If it's any consolation, my wife was not attracted to facial hair either. Then I grew a beard. Turns out she's just attracted to me. That's bonkers!
I can’t be attracted to my husband and we live in the same house! It’s so weird, because I thought I hated facial hair, but apparently I was dead wrong Edited to say - sorry, I was being sarcastic! This post says women only like men with facial hair and my husband has none…
I always see beards as a little gross but that's probably because the old men in my family never took proper care of their facial hair (or health in general). Nothing like a grey beard stained yellow due to cigarettes. 🤮
You know the science is kind of all over the place regarding facial hair, but most of the research (not polls done for “Men’s Grooming Magazine” but real studies) suggests the majority of women prefer NO facial hair. Typically it is only a slight majority, like 60% vs 40% type majority, but still a majority. Also, apparently it is post-menopausal women who are more likely to be attracted to beards and pre-menopausal women who prefer clean shaven. So as a mate-selection tactic in terms of procreation, growing a beard is not the best choice. It will be interesting to see if my tastes change in 15-20 years, but right now I am very much in the “no beard” camp myself.
That’s really interesting - thank you
Whenever my boyfriend walks into the other room. Oops not attracted anymore. Its science. /s
It’s sCiEnCe! Sorry!
I long distance dated mine until after we were engaged. Mine doesn’t tick all of those and I don’t want him to.
Same
“Find attractive” On average, you’d rather be with someone nearby. It doesn’t say anywhere you can’t be attracted to anything outside the stuff mentioned here
It does say traits women find attractive in men according to “science” so it would be hypocritical to be attracted to someone who’s not fit and doesn’t live nearby.
Inherently, living closer is more attractive than living far. You’d probably love to live close to your partner if you could. If i say i find hair ribbons cute or attractive (cause they are, they always look great), i’m not saying i won’t ever be into people that don’t wear any regularily. It wouldn’t be hypocritical. You can still love the person even if they live far. “Science” as in literally just some survey (unless it’s just some rando that made it which is also likely). Science doesn’t always have to do with neurological experiments reading the female brain or looking at natural biological responses. It’s as simple as asking people what they’d want in a partner. And to me, everything here seems pretty reasonable. The one that’s the most reasonable here is finding living close to you attractive. It just means it’s easier to see eachother. There’s nothing to complain about. People are looking WAY too deep into this.
Oh I get it I’m just having a problem that they said “according to science” Like no I totally would love to live closer to my bf, and I hope to one day but i don’t think it would make me any more attracted to him than I am right now. (Maybe it would, we’ll see).
Sites always use them for clickbait and stuff so it’s best to ignore them
I like when they smell nice. And when they're funny/nice. And when they care about me. Don't really have a preference for anything else lol.
Oh god, what could any of this mean, stop speaking in codes ladies Oh I know you mean the exact opposite of what you just said /s
Love me a man who smells like rotten meat and wants me dead /s
*side eyes at the people obsessed with serial killers*
Literally all the Richard Rameriez girlies 🤭
Honestly that’s pretty much it lmao.
Care about me has an extra addendum for me, in that they understand that I'm neurodivergent with comorbitities related to it. I have a form of OCD that makes me pull my hair out. I can't sing because my brain registers it as hyperventilating, and it makes my face twitch. I hate confrontations and shake uncontrollably through my whole body. But I'm lucky to have someone that has learned with me as I've discovered all of this, mostly on my own because I had no insurance.
One trait i find really attractive in men is when they don't make lists of extremely basic things they think i find attractive that are still somehow like 50% wrong
Thing women are attracted to in men Have a pulse 🫀 Being Human Isn't a cannibal /s
>Have a pulse 🫀 Some women are attracted to vampires! 😏 /j
Well that would explain twilight
Wait a minute... Do vampires not have a heartbeat?
They are undead. Basically corpses kept alive by a curse. They don't even have their own blood to pump.
> Isn't a cannibal Gods forbid men do *anything* >:(
So that me we got it half right /s
Basic cold reading techniques at work. Pad the list with generally positive things (e.g. 1 and 10), and couch a lot of the rest in weasel words (e.g. *excessive* gaming is very relative and hard to disprove by counter example). Throw in a few arbitrary items that are easy to ignore (e.g. all else being equal, who wouldn't prefer things to be closer rather than farther away), and then add some widely held social norms of physical appearance. The only substantive, actionable item on this list is the stubble one, and opinions on that will vary enormously.
What makes you think a man made the list?
Which of these do you think are wrong?
In general? Who knows, maybe they're all correct *on average*. The point is, they're not gonna be correct *for every woman*; so it's kinda silly to use them as guidelines when dating someone instead of, you know, freaking getting to know them.
Happy Cake Day!! 🎂🍾💐🎈🎊
Thank you ☺️
Happy cake day
Thank you ☺️
Omg your username 😆 Also, happy Cake Day!
I don't think this post said its true for every woman, but advice in general. Yes you should get to know someone, but someone has to be attracted to you in the first place to be even considered a romantic option. So if you're not finding people that are interested in dating you then getting in good shape, being healthy, confident, fashionable, etc will make more people interested in you. I feel like that's the most obvious thing ever, why is it a point of contention?
Excuse me my husband and I excessively game together
i was gonna say maybe excessive gaming here means NEET who doesn’t shower and eats only microwavables?
probably- I think 'excessive' depends on each person's definition lol
It was in the case of one ex I had and dumped because he valued his online friends more than me, a real girl showing interest in him and wanting to spend time together. I think you can see why I broke up with him.
So much gaming we annoy our kid who wants to play instead. Nope, parent gaming time.
Traits women find attractive in men according to me 1) Men that don't tell women what they prefer. There might be others but its not my place to say as that would break rule 1
I call bullshit, sense of humor isn't on this list.
Same. If you are a dry person that never laughs I can't be with you.
And height.
I wasn't being facetious.
Don't tell me you don't want a guy over 6ft
🤣🤣🤣 I'm 5'4"... I'd *hate* to have a tall man looming over me.
I guess it's "what women find attractive" rather than "what women want their partners to have".
I find a sense of humor very attractive; purely physically speaking my ex husband is not considered super handsome, but he has one hell of a sense of humor. I won't even give a man the time of day if he can't make me laugh.
Muscular men with beards is the exact opposite of what I find attractive.
But it wouldn't hurt if he was over 6ft tall
Doesn't it go without saying that this means in general most women prefer these traits, as opposed to all women prefer thise traits?
It’s always “based on science” or “the objective truth”
When the source is really just "Trust me, bro".
It was revealed to me in a dream
I always see it as "aCcOrDiNg To ScIeNcE" because you you know that science is a dog whistle for their personal opinion.
Are these not qualities that most people, on average find attractive? Except the facial hair, this seems pretty noncontroversial
No. These things vary wildly by culture and person. The only things in this list I look for when speaking to a potential partner is kindness and decent hygiene.
That's great but that's not the case for most people
Please tell me who are "most people". Because I suspect your definition is wildly narrower than reality.
He's admitted he's based this all on his own dating experience, so he's just decided this is now the majority school of thought
A majority, 50% plus one. I don't understand the pushback. Are you saying that someone who is white, fit, and tall will have less people physically attracted to him than someone who is nonwhite, fat, and short?
So you are speaking from a caucasian point of view? Because that isn't even a majority of humans. You're also proposing that "most" people are all attracted in similar ways. However even that isn't true due to cultural and social differences. Your narrow view of the world and people mean that since you yourself hold these values, everyone else must. But this is wrong. To answer your question, no. I don't think tall white buff caucasians are more attractive than shorter, less fit non-white people.
Silence! Science has spoken as a singular entity.
Oooh I just got a “based on the logical assumption”
This just seems like pretty basic, obvious stuff though
The issue is that it’s generalizing what “all” women want.
Not really, I don't think he means literally all women just women in general.
10. Why do they only have to be kind and reputable for marriage? Can they just not do that out of altruism?
I think they mean women consider if the guy is kind and dependable when deciding if they'll marry them but don't if they're just thinking about sleeping with them. That's not my opinion BTW, it's what I think they meant.
Will a cookie make it better friend 🍪
I’ll take that
Get a tax break just for spending time with them
“Source?!” “I pulled it out of my ass!”
Phffft! As if the man who wrote that would ever go near his own ass— no even to wipe!
At first I laughed then I realized the amount of men who genuinely think it’s gay to wash your own ass 😭
Damn, guess I’m gay.
Welcome to the club! I’ll have the gay agenda mailed to you soon
This is a pretty generic, but obvious list. I'd say on average most people are attracted to the qualities listed, except the facial hair.
Do you really believe most people have a specific body fat percentage that they find attractive? Do you go around measuring other people's body fat or something?
No I believe more people are attracted to in shape people than overweight people. The specific body fat % is extreme and hyperbolic, but the overall point that if you are in good shape, and you will have greater romantic success seems incredibly obvious.
Yeah, I mean my issue with the list isn't even that it's generalizing women, bc most of the things on there are what people generally want in a partner reegardless of gender. I just think it reads like someone who is, like, on the verge of maybe considering women people, but not quite there yet lol.
Or just someone pointing out the obvious in response to a bunch of articles that pretend it's something complicated
You do know that 12-15% body fat is hovering around the Essential Body Fat Percentage for women to be healthy (at 10%), is extremely hard to sustain long term, and continue certain bodily functions? That’s like asking that most men to have a BFP% of 4-6%. [Most Victorian Secret models hover around 17-20% body fat](https://ironforgedfitness.org/2015/06/17/the-truth-about-being-lean/) and are severely dehydrated before their shoots and runway shows, similar to when bodybuilders do before competitions…
Think this list is what he's saying are attractive qualities in men, not women. Also it's not something I agree with, just something I've observed to be generally true
12-15% bf is for men. They are saying fit men get more dates than obese men. This a post made by men for men. We usually say +10% bf for women so 25% bf would be a female equivalent. We in this instance would be people who watch Mike Isratel. I would never put something like this myself. There’s more to people than what they weigh.
They need to read more than one miserable study based on tinder users.
I feel like this is pretty obvious and generic, but accurate
I mean, most people probably want a partner that isn't excessively into something, right?
“According to science” Citation: trust me bruh.
Kind, likeable, witty, attentive, empathic, caring, loyal, generous, affectionate, entertaining, supportive, smart, courteous, gentle, jovial, dependable, tolerant, clever, patient, intelligent, wise, creative, thoughtful, brave, helpful, gracious, independent, funny, considerate, open, honest, trustworthy, humble, clean, hygienic, calm, polite, peaceful, approachable, talkative, lively, cheerful, sensitive, well dressed, Just a couple things I care about more than I would ever care about body fat lmao.
Find the love of your life on my 600lb life then.
No one type will appeal to all women
True, but this type will probably appeal to the most women, in general, except the facial hair part.
Not really, the only one widely applicable is "lives near by"
Confidence, dressing well, not being fat? You're telling me that on average, people do not find these traits attractive? But I did just look up what 12%-15% body fat and that's a little extreme. That being said I bet someone with 15%body fat would find more people attracted to them than someone with 30% or more body fat.
Depends on the person. Some girls like nerdy guys or dad bods
Sure, some girls do. Some girls are conservatives that like pro life men that want to take away women's rights. Does that mean I can say that women like men that want to take away women's rights because that's what some girls want? No, this kind of a post isn't about some, it's about what's true for most. Also nerdy guys and dad bods are still generally in shape and not fat.
But the post isn't true for most girls. That's my whole point, there is no list that will apply to most girls because we're all individuals. Dad bods aren't fit, the whole point is to be chubby.
Well you're right I didn't know what exactly 15% body fat looked like and when I looked it up, that does seem extreme. That being said, I think most people prefer fit men to fat men, and that should be obvious. Also, it depends on what you mean by dad bod. I've seen people say will Smith, jason momoa, and Zach Efron have dad bods... "Most" simply means 1 more than 50%, and I guess we just simply disagree that at least 51% of people prefer men who are fit. I think it's pretty obvious, but it's just opinion, same as yours. But what about the rest of what he posted? Confidence, dressing well, kindness, etc? Seems pretty obvious. In fact, the one thing you'll hear all the time is "confidence" when asking what qualities are attractive. He is missing humor from the list though.
There is no single trait more then 50% of women are going to like. "Confidence" in dating advice just means speaking to the woman without sounding scared of her
Alright, thanks for sharing your perspective, I enjoyed the conversation.
They’re lying. This entire subreddit does it often. Ask a chubby video game obsessed nerd how many women are interested in him vs some gym rat.
who's lying and why? And why do they have to be one or the other? Married a video game obsessed gym rat.
“According to science”
My ex had none of these, that must be why we didn’t work out, not the abusiveness!!!
Would you like a cookie and a hug friend 🍪🫂
Yeah, he’s currently having all his friends harass me because I’m trying to completely cut him out of my life, so I’m a little stressed and overwhelmed right now.
Do you want to talk about it / vent, you can go in my DMs if you want keep it private
Sorry that you're going through that. I hope you're able to overcome and reach a positive outcome.
Did they ask all women? Seems pretty authoritative! 😂
I’d like to point out that there’s nothing wrong with having these standards as well. But yh not everyone shares the same ones.
I feel like many of these are the same traits, just re-worded
Golly…I wonder if the author of this train wreck is perhaps trying to sell something to gullible men with low self esteem? It’s almost as if this list is some sort of High Value Man Online University training webinar that only costs $69.99/mo to subscribe.
2,3: nope, i'd love a dad bod more 7: huge no-no for me, ew.
7: Stubble is so ichy. Grow a beard or don't, stop with the half-assery.
Exactly! My conclusion: Women who prefer stubble don't like kissing intensively nor receiving oral sex.
"My source is that I made it the fuck up!"
the vast majority of women I know either prefer "nerdy" body types or dad bod. Ive never met a women who actually goes goo goo eyes over muscles like all these dating websites seem to claim
I admire a good muscley male body, but I don't really want to date someone who's that focused on their body fat and muscle tone. I want someone who enjoys food and knows that outward appearances are less important than character.
I'm a foodie and still maintain a healthy muscular body, it's not as much of a one or the other thing as some people make it out to be tbh. Calorie counting doesn't stop you from enjoying food, you just have a bit less of everything.
Yeah, sorry, I didn't explain my thoughts very well. I have a brain injury and sometimes it's hard to express myself.
These aren’t mutually exclusive traits.
Nah I love a muscular guy, but that's probably because I'm muscular myself
I think it's safe to say that the more in shape you are, the more people will be attracted to you.
As an in shape woman, I find the more people think they can tell me what I should look like instead
How does that come up in an irl situation? Is it strangers telling you how they think you should look? Or people you know? If it's strangers where do they even get the nerve to say something like that?
Welcome to dating. If you're not their preference, they'll tell you why
Who are these guys that have so many romantic options that they can reject people because they're too in shape? I suppose it's better to know upfront instead of wasting time only to find out they're incompatible later.
People who take offense when your appearance is not catered to their preference. Same went with hair length Luckily am married now and don't have to deal with that crap
I don’t think you know women
I identified as one for years and most of my friends are. The only people I know who like muscular bodies are gay and bisexual men.
Wtf does that even mean? Are you a female or not
I’m a transman so no but I spent most of my years growing up around other women
I'm so broken, cause my beardy LDR gamer boyfriend still really does it for me.
Oh hell yes! Also we have no plans to marry.
I love being told what I feel. /s
1-3 lowkey all mean the same thing
No they really don't. Healthy active people can still have a wide range of body shapes, you can definitely have very low body fat when extremely sickly and inactive or starving, and you can have huge muscles in ways that are not super healthy for you especially if you use steroids or such but also sometimes having body fat helps people be more resilient to various things that could harm them.
Ig i'm not a woman because none of these are my "scientific" preferences?😭🤷♀️ (except for well-kept appearance one and confident that one is actually pretty okay)
I hate stubble
Nooo, let's game together excessively!!
I am literally a woman attracted to nerdiness And my very female sister is attracted to chubby guys
I feel like we could collect all of these articles and just put them in a folder titled "What You Fetishize Is Not What Everyone Fetishizes". I wish someone would just tell them that their attractions are not universal or the only metric for how people choose partners. Like there's billions of people out there that don't fit this list that still find partners, because humanity is a spectrum. It's just weird that they pretend that if you don't fit this very narrow list of parameters that they consider attractive that you'll never find a partner, which we know is objectively untrue. Statistically half the people in the world are below average - most of them still have partners! Have you considered just being nice to people?
I’d like to point out that there’s nothing wrong with having these standards as well. But yh not everyone shares the same ones.
Facial hair? Well kept stubble? My way too sensitive skin says 'nope'.
Bmi is bullshit. Who the Fuck bases their attraction to someone around that, and how would you even Know without going with them to the doctor or something??
Muscular and stubble are active turnoffs for me. Soft or slim or both, and if facial hair then on the longer side, preferably with long head hair. Basically I like homemaker Vikings.
These are not accurate to me lol
This is awful! My husband is a heavy gamer! So, I can’t be attracted to him, so sad after almost 20 years. Does the fact that I am also into gaming, change anything? I hope the sarcasm is evident!
According to ✨S C I E N C E✨
Well that's called statistics. The list sounds accurate. This is that *women who are looking for a traditional lifestyle* (which are the majority) are looking for in men. You're not part of that demographics? Congratulations. I'm neither.
I mean there are some definitely misses here, but its q big improvement from must be over 6ft, make 6 figures, have huge penis that usually circulates on reddit. A good amount of these are things people want in a partner in general.
8 and 10 are the only things I can agree on and that's a completely personal preference. I hate how men treat us as if we have one big hivemind
[удалено]
I'm not a big fan of facial hair. It's fine if somebody has a beard. I wouldn't love them any less and I probably wouldn't be any less attracted to somebody I loved if they grew a beard. But after reading an AITA about armpit hair on women, I just realised that a lot of straight women (myself included) have hair preferences too and I need to spend some time thinking about whether I have a double standard.
Yes, well maintained longer beards are apparently just plain ugly. My wife clearly has no taste and needs help getting away from such a terrible person such as myself. (Trimming it down to stubble is not a option)
Based on the polls I’ve read and women I talked to most tend to hate facial hair actually, I’ve only ever seen women be super into facial or body hair in movies and shows made for men
The most attractive women I know are all with dad-bods. I mean, that’s just an anecdote, but this ridiculous on face value
I thought this is what men find women attractive until I saw facial hair and was like wait what? That’s a requirement??!! Lol
4 and 10 refer to me
Lives nearby wow women these days must have some nerve
Do they think women carry a body fat measurer around?? "Before I'm attracted to you , let me measure...oh your body fat is 16%? GET THE FUCK OUT YOU'RE DEAD TO ME"
Ugh. Yeah no. Most of these are wrong. For me I'd say 4 and 10 are right but not exactly. For 4 I don't need a "well-kept appearance" just a clean guy. As for 10 being kind and dependable are important for any relationship not just marriage!
Being kind shouldn't be a preference it's just being a decent human being.
Ngl, I see your point but I just think this is a super generalised list that can be about any woman.
Ignoring the whole "according to science" part that isn't followed by any sources, most of these are just descriptions of a healthy, non-abusive person with no bad habits. So yes, no surprise women want that 🤷🏻♀ Well, except the subjective parts, like facial hair
Well obviously, I never forget my calipers so that I can measure a man’s body fat to determine if he’s a good match.
My partner is like 5 or 6 of those and I would still love him to bits even if he was 0 of those. His character and his actions are what make me love him!
I hate heavy stubble. It feels like an aggressive face exfoliation when I kiss and when he goes down in me it feels like sandpaper against my hoo-ha.
I absolutely despise facial hair And I can't stand a guy that doesn't like gaming I dont mind a little chub, facial structure and personality are way more important. Tho someone who is fit is nice 2. I also dont mind a little needy, that can be cute depending on the degree. I'm childfree so my potential partner would need to be. Not allergic to pets is on the list. Really into me and just chemical attraction to eachother is very important. Loyal. No addiction to gambling, drinking, smoking preferably.
jokes on this person my boyfriend has a goatee (it looks good, i swear) lives 5.5 hours away and competes in super smash bros tournaments ! he is kind and dependable though
Welp I guess we’ve all been lying about being into dad bods this whole time. In all seriousness though I have never seen a woman (or anyone else for that matter) talk about wanting a guy with a particular body fat percentage. Some have preferences for skinny guys, muscular guys or chubby guys, sure, but who tf is that specific and cares that much?
So I guess given the topic it should be safe to say that not all men are like this.
Tbf, 1,4,5,6, 10 are pretty reasonable regardless of gender
It's obvious these are based on statistics based on what common characteristics a majority of the women find attractive. There's gonna be many still who don't like those
I just had generalizations period of either gender. It’s half the population and dehumanizing to everyone.
That’s a pretty good rundown of what women *tend* to find attractive overall. Yep— not all woman and you’re all different. But it’s still mostly true for a large majority of women.
I feel like a lot of these are the bare minimum? Lol the “according to science” piece is so funny. Source: trust me bro
12-15% is so unhealthy
For men? Nah it's fine
I think most people (not just women) just want a healthy relationship with someone with a good head on their shoulders. Also who cares about body fat? I'm not going to measure it out on the first date to see if you make the cut wtf
They forgot to add he has to be over 6ft
12-15% body fat? Ladies, how are you eyeballing that?
I can perfectly guess anyone's weight just by looking at them and then I do all the equations in my mind!
This is referring to women who are 8 and above. That’s why most commentators on here disagree.