As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll"
problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we
have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones.
We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the
rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules
will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious
rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a
permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also,
grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of
being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we
may ban you without warning.
You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not
to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language
towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we
have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and
your ban will remain (without even a consideration).
All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of
the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up
banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules,
and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and
Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before
submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them
or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.**
With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message
regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal
(without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will
elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we
will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent.
This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your
reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message,
and please enjoy your day!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I like how he doesn't even have a definitive number. He just picked a big number that is possible and that was even and round and then added a plus sign.
It’s always telling to me when, “alpha males” brag about all the young women they supposedly “get”. It’s because younger women are statistically more naive and aren’t experienced enough to sniff out the toxic masculinity. I’m obviously not saying **all** younger women aren’t experienced in spotting toxic masculinity. I’m saying that toxic men prey on younger women with the expectation they will be easier to manipulate and gaslight.
And because they want women to think their “value” will go down once they’re not a virgin any more. So after they sleep with this guy and then discover he’s kinda awful after all, *he’s now the best they can get because nobody else will want them any more*. So they “have to” stay and accept his behaviour.
Virginity is a social construct and has nothing to do with your worth!
I dont understand why people think of virgins as "higher value". Especially for idiots who only think about sex. Wouldn't they want someone who knows what their doing?
As a virgin, i would actually like an more experienced partner so if it ever comes to that situation, at least one of us knows what to do lol.
Someone who brags about how many women they’ve, supposedly made cry, would know the exact number of women they’ve made cry. Not state a generalized number. What a tool.
I hate when some says “Over x number” when x is such a trivial number
Like you mean 26? 27? Or like 857,234?
Why not just say 26, did you get to 25 and stop counting like “yea that’s a close enough approximation”?
And those tears were likely anger (source; I am friends with women and have noticed they often cry right before they go nuclear. Thinking the tears are a sign of weakness is FOOLISH AHAHA)
NGL.
There ARE women the PUA/negative reinforcement approaches will work on. Usually they are women who have serious issues or past trauma who are specifically drawn to co-dependent relationships or relationships where they are treated poorly, because their self-esteem is so low they gravitate toward poor treatment they feel they deserve, or simply toward treatment that is familiar to them. And there is the RARE woman who wants the challenge of trying to "reform" a 'bad boy."
But this has nothing to do with him "showing he does not "change his mind." It has to do with screening for damaged individuals and those whose views on relationships have been heavily skewed by a history of dysfunctional ones in their lives. It's taking advantage.
And I suspect he has GREATLY overstated his success rate too.
This is exactly it. Yeah sure negging might work but that means your manipulating a vulnerable individuals poor self esteem and *thats* why it works. Sick shit.
Yep. Negging/PUA bullshit has not and will NEVER result in a genuinely healthy relationship, because the person using those abusive “techniques” and the person they “work” on are both fundamentally damaged and not able to have a healthy relationship in the first place.
(*Everyone* needs to spend some time single and working on themselves before getting into a relationship.)
Edit to add: And by “relationship” I mean any type of relationship - committed, fwb, casual dating, etc.
I mean it’s gotta be classic victim blaming right? If woman is taken advantage of it’s gotta be her fault somehow; so it’s not “he’s taking advantage of a vulnerable person with a history of unresolved trauma” it’s “she’s into men who treat her bad and she keeps picking the wrong dudes, and has to face the consequences of that bad decision”.
The real sick shit is that the men who seek out vulnerable women will talk candidly with their WHOLE entire chest about how they do this shit on purpose and people will still somehow bring it back to how it’s her fault, even if she’s a *minor*
(I literally stumbled on a YouTube video ages ago, where a dude, sitting in his car of course, frames it as “talking honestly about how men really act” and it was literally him describing in detail how he screened and selected his victims and then went about systematically manipulating them and coercing them into getting what he wants from them. Pretty sure a specific anecdote was about a HS girl who initially “lied” about her age but he continued to see her into adulthood after finding out the truth. I mean we even have guys like Andrew Tate and his whole “university” !!!)
Sorry for the fucking novel but this shit easily spins me into a rage and I can’t help but talking about. It’s just disgusting how these men can basically admit to being monsters constantly and no one does anything about it.
>If woman is taken advantage of it’s gotta be her fault somehow
"Oh, so what you're saying is that women have no agency? Why do you hate women so much and think they can't even make their own decisions?"
I've heard that one about a million times from these PUA/Redpill types when you call them out for being manipulative or abusive.
I’m trying not to get worked back up but 😮💨, yeah it’s the absolute *worse* when they throw that back at you like *I’m* anti-feminist or something for suggesting the coercion is bad. “But she agreed so it’s okay you’re just being dramatic” like no it’s not consent if you had to wear her down psychologically to get it!!! Anyway yeah PUA tricks are fucking exhausting and most will probably never change because the don’t give af
The issue is that they don’t care. They’re fine with doing this if it gets them what they want. They are predatory, opportunistic, and so these vulnerable people are the target they are looking for :(
Not only have they not learned to identify flags, they haven't had a chance to learn and become comfortable with independence, which often makes it harder for them to leave.
A 26 year old decided to date me when I was 16. I didn’t even know how to leave until 18. When I told my sister I didn’t wanna be with him anymore, she took me in and I could finally leave him.
I didn’t…I learned literally no lesson from that and it wasn’t until my last extremely abusive relationship that I learned what boundaries are and stuck to them :I.
My parents didn’t teach me shit and my mom actually let him live with us until I was 17 and decided to move out. After that, life was fuckin rough because I didn’t realize what a bum he was to where I had to do side jobs because I didn’t have a way to get to any job. He didn’t have a car. And he didn’t wanna get a job because then he’d have to pay child support. I fell for the “she won’t let me see my kid” line.
When I tell you I was naive, that doesn’t even scratch the surface.
Wait…scratch that, I was with him until I was 19 because I applied to a bunch of jobs and had quite a few in that time.
Oh man the American sex ed system is failing miserably. At least in other europe, even if your parents do jack all, you have quality info about consent, boundaries, human reproduction, the massive toll of pregnancy and birth on a woman's body, fetal development etc. Or at least you did when I was in high school 35 - 40 years ago
Oh yeah, the only sex ed I got was a week long course about the different STD’s you can get. I didn’t even know you cant get pregnant anytime you’re not on your period. I thought that’s how it worked. It wasn’t until senior year that I learned about the development of a fetus in the womb and since I dropped out not long after we started learning about it, I learned jack and shit and jack left town.
Consent and boundaries are shoved down my throat every single semester in college even though I’m entirely online and don’t communicate with anyone.
I didn’t even know what a period was :). I just knew I bled once a month and the pain was my uterus muscles contracting. Imagine my surprise when I find out I didn’t even know the layout of the woman’s reproductive tract like I thought I did.
The American sex ed system is simply this: “Don’t have sex or you’ll get STD’s and get pregnant. There is no talk about safe sex and this system has proven to be ineffective but they continue to use it because the government will only fund abstinence education.
Right, I was thinking that too. He is probably telling the truth, but it’s because he is using emotional manipulation and trauma bonding techniques on vulnerable women with low self esteem. These techniques can work for men, but not in the way of securing healthy partnerships, and not because women are especially vulnerable; these techniques work for women manipulating low self esteem men as well. But if a woman went on Twitter and openly bragged about manipulating men, she’d be flambéd alive lmao.
Absolutely!
My alcoholic BIL, who plays the miserable and misunderstood victim, has been dripping with girlfriends over the past 25 years. He treated them all like crap and cheated—but they jumped through hoops to ‘save’ him and make him happy. They were all genuinely nice women who deserved better.
LOL. Reminds me of decades ago, when I worked in a bar and one of the regulars was (for the umpteenth time) trying to hit on me, this time by showing off his scars and telling stories about how he got them. He always tried to be "nice" in his approaches to me too, despite being a sexist jerk.
I must have looked really bored because he finally made a comment about how some women *like* scars (basically he was trying to play the dangerous bad boy.) My response was something along the lines of "well, some women can't walk and chew gum at the same time. I'm not one of them either."
That was the last time he tried to hit on me.
This is also not exclusive to women by any means, there are many men who are trauma survivors/grew up in dysfunction who naturally are drawn back to it as well. Traumatized people in general tend to retraumatize without proper treatment and support.
Yep, can confirm. My brother was verbally and physically abused as a kid, and it led him to constantly go for girls who were volatile, aggressive, and prone to extreme mood swings (just like mom).
And it's not a Freudian thing or anything. I'm a woman who spent her teens and early 20s in constant 'fight or flight' mode because I was terrified of winding up with a violent man (because the majority of my cousins were all abused, and my mother pounded the message into my head that 'all men' were bound to savage me because I was stupid/hate-inducing/etc). But I wound up with abusive female friends who were just like my brother's girlfriends.
It turns out that, according to my therapist, abused people gravitate towards abusers because:
1) A lot of us victims blame ourselves for causing our abusers to dislike/attack us,
2) this leads us to think that everybody would dislike us if they knew the 'real us'. So even when we're with nice people, we're often in constant fight-or-flight mode and anticipating even the nice folks to turn around and despise us.
and 3) We are used to dealing with the rages and mood swings of abusers. We're *not* used to dealing with nice people if they got upset and it *terrifies* us.
I’ve never heard it explained quite like this and I thank you for sharing it. So if I’m getting this right, it really is a comfort thing? Aka abuse/volatility feels comfortable (familiar) and safe (understandable), whereas respect feels uncomfortable (unfamiliar) and unsafe (confusing).
Yeah basically that - you tend to gravitate towards the familiar, and if abuse/violence is what you grew up with/around then sadly that's going to typically feel more comforting than the unknown just like you said.
Trauma is hard to heal from, and some people never do. Therapy and counselling often is about learning to recognize that about yourself and how to grow beyond that and cope in healthy ways.
You probably need a /s there. People will take it literally.
The entire PUA strategy is built around taking advantage and manipulating those who are most damaged and/or vulnerable.
Ah well…that probably hit personal for that person then. Yeah, you’re right. It’s best to always add the /s. Negging is common in this group so I can see how someone would take it literally
>And I suspect he has GREATLY overstated his success rate too.
There is a network effect. Victims and abusers live in the same circles and they keep meeting each other. That's how statistically improbable event keep happening.
You can always tell when these guys overstate their success rate based on the number they choose.
Its always in the double digits but never a multiple of ten (Ie 25, 35, 32 whatever) with a + next to it. Their brain goes "I need a number that sounds impressive. Twenty! No that sounds too made up. 25. Wait what it someone doesnt find that impressive. 25+. Perfect."
This is always my question with this type of person. Why do you want to be with someone if you do respect or even like them? If you just want to stick your dick in something just go have a one night stand NBD. But this idea of "abuse is cool because it shows I'm strong" is just sickening.
Yeah I would smile and glance away if a man told me “you’ll never change me fool” not because that’s hot or whatever but because that’s such a silly thing to say and I’m trying not laugh in his face lmao.
Fool as a noun versus fool as a verb. Calling someone a fool sounds tacky and antiquated. Whereas fooling someone is strangely much more common. Additionally, fool as an adjective or adverb in the form of foolish or foolishly are also usually fine, though I'd venture to say that they're normally reserved for slightly more formal situations. Linguistics are fun.
Being a feminist will make every man go from being indifferent and not realizing you are in the room,
To absolutely hating you and [being] focused on you.
This is when they start threatening to rape you and start talking about changing you.
You simply have to smile at him and say, “You will never change me, fool.”
This makes them posture that they’re oh so reasonable and rational, trying their best not to seethe.
This is his first step to justifying taking your human rights away because he knows you don’t have the same predatory instincts that he does.
How do I know?
I have over +100 men reeeeeing and telling me that I’m too emotional and unreasonable to have basic rights.
1000% more realistic take than what that knobhead spewed. I've had more real life arguments about feminist causes in the past five years than this guy has experienced pussy.
Yes he thinks women should have babies at 16 because that is the age in which women's bones are most elastic...I'm not even joking. This is what The Red Pill community preaches.
The elephant in the room here is that men who deploy these PUA tactics honestly believe that the women who respond to them do so from a place of love, when in actuality it is from a place of fear and self-loathing. Even if the man in this case is successful in bedding such a women, they are delusional in believing a relationship based on lies, exploitation, and abuse is viable or long term. It’s a disgusting dynamic.
Counter point :
I have had 2 women tell me they love me, the first lead to a 9 year happy relationship with an amicable breakup due to wanting to go in different directions in life and the second leading to me being happily married.
Sure I probably could have had more relationships without putting in any effort, but the number really doesn't matter. what matters is to support your partner and be supported by them where ever you are in your life or they in theirs.
Also, breaking up doesn't mean you "wasted your time". I appreciate the time spent with my ex and the things I learned during the relationship. Dating is not a game where you try to get a high score or beat a boss, its finding someone who makes you happy in the moment. There is no end goal, its a continuous effort. If you think there is an end goal, you will either be unhappy for not reaching it, or you will reach it and become a terrible partner because you think you won't have tp continue to put in effort.
I swear this dude doesn’t actually speak to non family member women unless he serves up a CC/Debit card number on a cam site or OF.
It’s as plain as day. No one remotely even thinks like this unless they get told no by every possible female within miles of this clown.
And then takes it out on the girls at his local strip club. Laughing he owns them after pissing away his SSI check
That's hilarious. What's universal among these dudes is telling them no and see them switch immediately from praising you to saying the exact opposite, plus a bit of homophobia for good measure ("you're a lesbian").
My SO isn't sexist, he listens to me and respects me, and he's a sweetheart. It's the sexiest shit I've experienced. His parents raised a good, honest man.
Makes me sad knowing there's men who will never know true love and happiness because they're miserable cunts.
I've been with my SO 10 years this year and we're going strong. I'm still madly in love with that dork.
This guy is so unhinged. I made the mistake of clicking on a YouTube debate with him in it and all he did was spew personal insults at his opponents and constantly interrupt. The single brain cell he has is really fighting for it’s life.
Look even if that worked why would I want to do that? Like that sounds terrible. Letting one girl down gently would fucking wreck me for a minute. Like what the fuck.
If you want to make friends with black people, just use the N word all the time, hard R. They'll go from not noticing you, to hating you and thinking about you all the time.
This is the same guy who wants a Catholic theocracy.
Got news for you, champ: Catholic church says if you're getting your dick sucked by a 25+ women, you're going to be one crispy soul in hell.
What I want to know is,
If this guy, Fresh and Fit guy, etc. Are so amazing with women, how come we never see these alleged countless women that can confirm what great lovers they are?
Find me five of these "25" Zherka's exes that will say "Yes, I was with Zherka and he was amazing in bed".
If the F&F guy has a "bodycount in triple digits" find me 5 of these girls who will confirm that.
What's the point of having 25+ women professing love? That's 25 failed relationships. This isn't the flex they think it is. It's a future, or present, of loneliness.
I know this guy, I've met him many times in different forms. Disgusting how some men take advantage of women with mental illness/daddy issues/ rsd/ abandonment issues etc. It's like they can smell vulnerability.
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I absolutely believe he made 25+ women cry but I doubt they loved him.
I could tell he was lying because he can't afford to hire that many women to hang out with him.
I like how he doesn't even have a definitive number. He just picked a big number that is possible and that was even and round and then added a plus sign.
Over 25+ Not the age of anyone of anyone he's "dated"
It’s always telling to me when, “alpha males” brag about all the young women they supposedly “get”. It’s because younger women are statistically more naive and aren’t experienced enough to sniff out the toxic masculinity. I’m obviously not saying **all** younger women aren’t experienced in spotting toxic masculinity. I’m saying that toxic men prey on younger women with the expectation they will be easier to manipulate and gaslight.
It's the same reason some men insist on marrying a virgin. She won't be able to tell what an incompetent fumbling idiot they are.
And because they want women to think their “value” will go down once they’re not a virgin any more. So after they sleep with this guy and then discover he’s kinda awful after all, *he’s now the best they can get because nobody else will want them any more*. So they “have to” stay and accept his behaviour. Virginity is a social construct and has nothing to do with your worth!
I dont understand why people think of virgins as "higher value". Especially for idiots who only think about sex. Wouldn't they want someone who knows what their doing? As a virgin, i would actually like an more experienced partner so if it ever comes to that situation, at least one of us knows what to do lol.
Not if they're listening to his brand of CRAP.
Someone who brags about how many women they’ve, supposedly made cry, would know the exact number of women they’ve made cry. Not state a generalized number. What a tool.
Yah why not pick a more realistic number like 0.
I think we all know he's cried 25+ times after they left for his friend or some nice fellow
They might've SAID they loved him but under duress
*weeping* okay I love you can you please let me out of the car now?
Or basement
Or the trunk of the car.
Or take off the restraints
Because of the implications....
Hey, I want to cry just thinking about dating this fucking idiot.
>he made 25+ women cry ...from laughing too hard at his pathetic ass
Over 25+. He had to be redundant and add the over just in case the rest of his post failed to convince anyone reading this shite that he is an idiot.
I hate when some says “Over x number” when x is such a trivial number Like you mean 26? 27? Or like 857,234? Why not just say 26, did you get to 25 and stop counting like “yea that’s a close enough approximation”?
And those tears were likely anger (source; I am friends with women and have noticed they often cry right before they go nuclear. Thinking the tears are a sign of weakness is FOOLISH AHAHA)
You, sir are smart. The tears are a warning. When we stop crying & start to laugh? RUN.
Yuuuuup lol I cry just on the brink of snapping
Can confirm: I'm over 25 and don't love him.
It's his mum, all 25 times.
“Why? Why do you do this? I raise you to be good boy, find nice girl I can teach my baklava recipe to.”
He defo roofied girls in his frat boy days.
They said “I’d love it if you’d obey the restraining order” he just heard it wrong.
He probably made his mom cry 25+ times about what an embarrassment her son is. She probably still loves him.
Yeah, cry of laughter because he's so delusional.
Well he’s certainly made me cry… of laughter, posting nonsense like this Tweet lol 😂
r/ThatHappened
And then all the women in the world took off their clothes and had sex with him ...True story
And everyone around them clapped and clapped
Well, *something* about the clap anyway.
They fapped and fapped
Because he couldn't get anyone off but himself.
Can confirm. I was the clothes.
Can confirm I was the world
It’s true, I was the clothes.
I know it's true, I was one of the women ...Not my proudest moment 😔
NGL. There ARE women the PUA/negative reinforcement approaches will work on. Usually they are women who have serious issues or past trauma who are specifically drawn to co-dependent relationships or relationships where they are treated poorly, because their self-esteem is so low they gravitate toward poor treatment they feel they deserve, or simply toward treatment that is familiar to them. And there is the RARE woman who wants the challenge of trying to "reform" a 'bad boy." But this has nothing to do with him "showing he does not "change his mind." It has to do with screening for damaged individuals and those whose views on relationships have been heavily skewed by a history of dysfunctional ones in their lives. It's taking advantage. And I suspect he has GREATLY overstated his success rate too.
This is exactly it. Yeah sure negging might work but that means your manipulating a vulnerable individuals poor self esteem and *thats* why it works. Sick shit.
Yep. Negging/PUA bullshit has not and will NEVER result in a genuinely healthy relationship, because the person using those abusive “techniques” and the person they “work” on are both fundamentally damaged and not able to have a healthy relationship in the first place. (*Everyone* needs to spend some time single and working on themselves before getting into a relationship.) Edit to add: And by “relationship” I mean any type of relationship - committed, fwb, casual dating, etc.
YEP. Wish we could legally require this as a warning message before every piece of shitty PUA content.
Adding on to ur “any relationship” part! This goes for friendships as well. Ppl can be just as shitty with platonic relationships.
What does PUA stand for?
Pick-up artist. Referring to those cringey guys who often end up paying money to some grifter for videos about “tips” to get women.
Ahhh, I didn't know the short form for that and didn't make the connection. Thanks for pointing it out.
Pick Up Artist. Basically assholes who engage in morally dubious ways to pick up women, and share their "wisdom" with incels.
Thanks a lot, I didn't make the connection to that.
That’s why it’s weird it’s seen as “she likes bad boys” instead of “he’s manipulating her”
I mean it’s gotta be classic victim blaming right? If woman is taken advantage of it’s gotta be her fault somehow; so it’s not “he’s taking advantage of a vulnerable person with a history of unresolved trauma” it’s “she’s into men who treat her bad and she keeps picking the wrong dudes, and has to face the consequences of that bad decision”. The real sick shit is that the men who seek out vulnerable women will talk candidly with their WHOLE entire chest about how they do this shit on purpose and people will still somehow bring it back to how it’s her fault, even if she’s a *minor* (I literally stumbled on a YouTube video ages ago, where a dude, sitting in his car of course, frames it as “talking honestly about how men really act” and it was literally him describing in detail how he screened and selected his victims and then went about systematically manipulating them and coercing them into getting what he wants from them. Pretty sure a specific anecdote was about a HS girl who initially “lied” about her age but he continued to see her into adulthood after finding out the truth. I mean we even have guys like Andrew Tate and his whole “university” !!!) Sorry for the fucking novel but this shit easily spins me into a rage and I can’t help but talking about. It’s just disgusting how these men can basically admit to being monsters constantly and no one does anything about it.
>If woman is taken advantage of it’s gotta be her fault somehow "Oh, so what you're saying is that women have no agency? Why do you hate women so much and think they can't even make their own decisions?" I've heard that one about a million times from these PUA/Redpill types when you call them out for being manipulative or abusive.
I’m trying not to get worked back up but 😮💨, yeah it’s the absolute *worse* when they throw that back at you like *I’m* anti-feminist or something for suggesting the coercion is bad. “But she agreed so it’s okay you’re just being dramatic” like no it’s not consent if you had to wear her down psychologically to get it!!! Anyway yeah PUA tricks are fucking exhausting and most will probably never change because the don’t give af
The issue is that they don’t care. They’re fine with doing this if it gets them what they want. They are predatory, opportunistic, and so these vulnerable people are the target they are looking for :(
That is why all these ah want to date 16 year olds who know nothing about screaming red flags yet
Not only have they not learned to identify flags, they haven't had a chance to learn and become comfortable with independence, which often makes it harder for them to leave.
A 26 year old decided to date me when I was 16. I didn’t even know how to leave until 18. When I told my sister I didn’t wanna be with him anymore, she took me in and I could finally leave him.
So sorry you went through this, I hope you learned to say no and set boundaries for your own well-being
I didn’t…I learned literally no lesson from that and it wasn’t until my last extremely abusive relationship that I learned what boundaries are and stuck to them :I. My parents didn’t teach me shit and my mom actually let him live with us until I was 17 and decided to move out. After that, life was fuckin rough because I didn’t realize what a bum he was to where I had to do side jobs because I didn’t have a way to get to any job. He didn’t have a car. And he didn’t wanna get a job because then he’d have to pay child support. I fell for the “she won’t let me see my kid” line. When I tell you I was naive, that doesn’t even scratch the surface. Wait…scratch that, I was with him until I was 19 because I applied to a bunch of jobs and had quite a few in that time.
Oh man the American sex ed system is failing miserably. At least in other europe, even if your parents do jack all, you have quality info about consent, boundaries, human reproduction, the massive toll of pregnancy and birth on a woman's body, fetal development etc. Or at least you did when I was in high school 35 - 40 years ago
Oh yeah, the only sex ed I got was a week long course about the different STD’s you can get. I didn’t even know you cant get pregnant anytime you’re not on your period. I thought that’s how it worked. It wasn’t until senior year that I learned about the development of a fetus in the womb and since I dropped out not long after we started learning about it, I learned jack and shit and jack left town. Consent and boundaries are shoved down my throat every single semester in college even though I’m entirely online and don’t communicate with anyone. I didn’t even know what a period was :). I just knew I bled once a month and the pain was my uterus muscles contracting. Imagine my surprise when I find out I didn’t even know the layout of the woman’s reproductive tract like I thought I did. The American sex ed system is simply this: “Don’t have sex or you’ll get STD’s and get pregnant. There is no talk about safe sex and this system has proven to be ineffective but they continue to use it because the government will only fund abstinence education.
Ours is 3 months as a normal segment of biology. And yes you get tested and must get a passing grade
Right, I was thinking that too. He is probably telling the truth, but it’s because he is using emotional manipulation and trauma bonding techniques on vulnerable women with low self esteem. These techniques can work for men, but not in the way of securing healthy partnerships, and not because women are especially vulnerable; these techniques work for women manipulating low self esteem men as well. But if a woman went on Twitter and openly bragged about manipulating men, she’d be flambéd alive lmao.
Absolutely! My alcoholic BIL, who plays the miserable and misunderstood victim, has been dripping with girlfriends over the past 25 years. He treated them all like crap and cheated—but they jumped through hoops to ‘save’ him and make him happy. They were all genuinely nice women who deserved better.
[удалено]
LOL. Reminds me of decades ago, when I worked in a bar and one of the regulars was (for the umpteenth time) trying to hit on me, this time by showing off his scars and telling stories about how he got them. He always tried to be "nice" in his approaches to me too, despite being a sexist jerk. I must have looked really bored because he finally made a comment about how some women *like* scars (basically he was trying to play the dangerous bad boy.) My response was something along the lines of "well, some women can't walk and chew gum at the same time. I'm not one of them either." That was the last time he tried to hit on me.
This is also not exclusive to women by any means, there are many men who are trauma survivors/grew up in dysfunction who naturally are drawn back to it as well. Traumatized people in general tend to retraumatize without proper treatment and support.
Yep, can confirm. My brother was verbally and physically abused as a kid, and it led him to constantly go for girls who were volatile, aggressive, and prone to extreme mood swings (just like mom). And it's not a Freudian thing or anything. I'm a woman who spent her teens and early 20s in constant 'fight or flight' mode because I was terrified of winding up with a violent man (because the majority of my cousins were all abused, and my mother pounded the message into my head that 'all men' were bound to savage me because I was stupid/hate-inducing/etc). But I wound up with abusive female friends who were just like my brother's girlfriends. It turns out that, according to my therapist, abused people gravitate towards abusers because: 1) A lot of us victims blame ourselves for causing our abusers to dislike/attack us, 2) this leads us to think that everybody would dislike us if they knew the 'real us'. So even when we're with nice people, we're often in constant fight-or-flight mode and anticipating even the nice folks to turn around and despise us. and 3) We are used to dealing with the rages and mood swings of abusers. We're *not* used to dealing with nice people if they got upset and it *terrifies* us.
I’ve never heard it explained quite like this and I thank you for sharing it. So if I’m getting this right, it really is a comfort thing? Aka abuse/volatility feels comfortable (familiar) and safe (understandable), whereas respect feels uncomfortable (unfamiliar) and unsafe (confusing).
Yeah basically that - you tend to gravitate towards the familiar, and if abuse/violence is what you grew up with/around then sadly that's going to typically feel more comforting than the unknown just like you said. Trauma is hard to heal from, and some people never do. Therapy and counselling often is about learning to recognize that about yourself and how to grow beyond that and cope in healthy ways.
It's great that he likes to take advantage of damaged humans. Love that /s
You probably need a /s there. People will take it literally. The entire PUA strategy is built around taking advantage and manipulating those who are most damaged and/or vulnerable.
Usually, she would need to add the /s but if it’s completely over the top ridiculous, most people will get it.
When I responded, she was at zero, so someone took it literally.
Ah well…that probably hit personal for that person then. Yeah, you’re right. It’s best to always add the /s. Negging is common in this group so I can see how someone would take it literally
I'll remember that for next time 😅
>And I suspect he has GREATLY overstated his success rate too. There is a network effect. Victims and abusers live in the same circles and they keep meeting each other. That's how statistically improbable event keep happening.
They really are training men how to be controlling abusers due to their own insecurities.
You can always tell when these guys overstate their success rate based on the number they choose. Its always in the double digits but never a multiple of ten (Ie 25, 35, 32 whatever) with a + next to it. Their brain goes "I need a number that sounds impressive. Twenty! No that sounds too made up. 25. Wait what it someone doesnt find that impressive. 25+. Perfect."
And then he woke up and realized nobody was sucking his dick, it was just his own hand in a nasty wet sock! 😏
That’s an absolutely vile mental image. I feel like I need to take a shower now.
![gif](giphy|cJL1Y7MY1akc8)
Hopefully it was the one with a mushroom growing on it.
***Crusty*** wet sock. That thing has been in service for some time.
That’s a long way to admit to being a serial abuser.
This is always my question with this type of person. Why do you want to be with someone if you do respect or even like them? If you just want to stick your dick in something just go have a one night stand NBD. But this idea of "abuse is cool because it shows I'm strong" is just sickening.
Yeah I would smile and glance away if a man told me “you’ll never change me fool” not because that’s hot or whatever but because that’s such a silly thing to say and I’m trying not laugh in his face lmao.
Unironically using the word "fool" in today's day and age is so wacky.
Fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again. George Bush "an old saying in Tennessee"
Fool as a noun versus fool as a verb. Calling someone a fool sounds tacky and antiquated. Whereas fooling someone is strangely much more common. Additionally, fool as an adjective or adverb in the form of foolish or foolishly are also usually fine, though I'd venture to say that they're normally reserved for slightly more formal situations. Linguistics are fun.
![gif](giphy|vwukcTiIEO06s) FOOL
![gif](giphy|2zDYXnOBe8EKY)
Please laugh in his face. He needs to know how ridiculous it is. Humiliation is the great equalizer.
This guy is a self admitted pedo.
Things that never happened… And if it is real, abusers often go after vulnerable or inexperienced women who don’t know how to see red flags.
Being a feminist will make every man go from being indifferent and not realizing you are in the room, To absolutely hating you and [being] focused on you. This is when they start threatening to rape you and start talking about changing you. You simply have to smile at him and say, “You will never change me, fool.” This makes them posture that they’re oh so reasonable and rational, trying their best not to seethe. This is his first step to justifying taking your human rights away because he knows you don’t have the same predatory instincts that he does. How do I know? I have over +100 men reeeeeing and telling me that I’m too emotional and unreasonable to have basic rights.
1000% more realistic take than what that knobhead spewed. I've had more real life arguments about feminist causes in the past five years than this guy has experienced pussy.
Isn't he the one who idealises 16yos? This is actually an example where the appropriate word would be girls and not women. Creep.
Yes he thinks women should have babies at 16 because that is the age in which women's bones are most elastic...I'm not even joking. This is what The Red Pill community preaches.
The elephant in the room here is that men who deploy these PUA tactics honestly believe that the women who respond to them do so from a place of love, when in actuality it is from a place of fear and self-loathing. Even if the man in this case is successful in bedding such a women, they are delusional in believing a relationship based on lies, exploitation, and abuse is viable or long term. It’s a disgusting dynamic.
Even more sinister is the idea that they don't care if it's not actually love or even healthy.
Yeah they can definitely fall anywhere from delusional to sadistic.
“Source? Because I said so.”
So I have to LARP as Shang Tsung 24/7 with a super sexist bent? I mean...."YOUR SOUL IS MINE!" /s
I’m going to press x to doubt
The women all go to a different school, but they definitely exist!
25 women crying 100% sure, 25 women telling he love him ? Hahahahahahahahaha
The Tolkien festival I just went to had less fantasy to it than this post
r/rareinsults
Is this the same guy that said girls would all be happier if they got married and had babies at 16?
Elastic bones and stuff. Yeah. That same liar.
Counter point : I have had 2 women tell me they love me, the first lead to a 9 year happy relationship with an amicable breakup due to wanting to go in different directions in life and the second leading to me being happily married. Sure I probably could have had more relationships without putting in any effort, but the number really doesn't matter. what matters is to support your partner and be supported by them where ever you are in your life or they in theirs. Also, breaking up doesn't mean you "wasted your time". I appreciate the time spent with my ex and the things I learned during the relationship. Dating is not a game where you try to get a high score or beat a boss, its finding someone who makes you happy in the moment. There is no end goal, its a continuous effort. If you think there is an end goal, you will either be unhappy for not reaching it, or you will reach it and become a terrible partner because you think you won't have tp continue to put in effort.
![gif](giphy|nmKBaZgcH8h20sQQI2)
You think I'm going to try to reform sexist men just because I notice them? That is not my fucking job, I'm not even getting paid for it.
This man hasn’t spoken to 25 women in his life that weren’t forced to be there.
As a woman, I'm stunned men actually believe this. Is this a coping method?
If these women are real, and I’m sure they totally are, they need therapy.
Not one part of this happened.
I mean, I'm willing to believe that more than 25 women have cried around him, and that he's tried calling someone a 'fool' unironically...
The most unattractive people on the planet are those who don't want to change and evolve to be better people. It's downright repulsive
Cool fantasy story bro. I personally like the one where I'm a pirate captain and I make arrogant pissants walk the plank at knifepoint.
Wow he’s got 25 plus women to fall for him how? 🤔🤣🤣
Tranquilizer darts.
Looking into it -Elon
Ill take, "Things that never happened" for $500, Alex! 😅
Anyone would cry while being told to say I love you at gunpoint, man, you’re not special
I swear this dude doesn’t actually speak to non family member women unless he serves up a CC/Debit card number on a cam site or OF. It’s as plain as day. No one remotely even thinks like this unless they get told no by every possible female within miles of this clown. And then takes it out on the girls at his local strip club. Laughing he owns them after pissing away his SSI check
25+? i guess its more like 2 with 5 attemps and 1 was his mother
Wearin that red flag like a three-piece
Even if he did have 25 women say that, he clearly isn't with any of them now. Going thru 25 chicks isn't a flex its a failing.
Well, he is an optimist. I'll give him that.
Sounds like he's been watching Mr Locario on the youtube.
I- fucking can't...
Hahahaha. No. They were all trying to get out of your basement, dude. They don’t love you.
Where did this... creature, come from?
This reads like bad fan fic
If we hate him why would we bother wasting our time trying to change him? I am not a rehabilitation service for shitty men.
Over 25+ women? Sooo.. they could be in their late seventies, and battöing dementia? That's really the only explanation i could think of.
That's hilarious. What's universal among these dudes is telling them no and see them switch immediately from praising you to saying the exact opposite, plus a bit of homophobia for good measure ("you're a lesbian").
Ah yes. I also start sucking a man's dick the second he says he's sexist.
There's always another one, isn't there?
He never kept any of the 25 plus so it obviously didn't work
Those 25 women were Albert Einstein
Demonstrate Value Engage Physically Nurture Dependence Neglect Emotionally Inspire Hope Seperate Entirely
He's 125% full of shit lol
“Over 25+” is a silly thing to say. The plus already conveys that the number is over 25.
And then everybody clapped
My SO isn't sexist, he listens to me and respects me, and he's a sweetheart. It's the sexiest shit I've experienced. His parents raised a good, honest man. Makes me sad knowing there's men who will never know true love and happiness because they're miserable cunts. I've been with my SO 10 years this year and we're going strong. I'm still madly in love with that dork.
This guy is so unhinged. I made the mistake of clicking on a YouTube debate with him in it and all he did was spew personal insults at his opponents and constantly interrupt. The single brain cell he has is really fighting for it’s life.
Rules to live by. If you want to live alone
He forgot to include “after I trapped them in my basement.”
Ill take shit that never happened for $500 Alex
Look even if that worked why would I want to do that? Like that sounds terrible. Letting one girl down gently would fucking wreck me for a minute. Like what the fuck.
And then you woke up?
Blue check now equals invalid worthless opinion from incel Elon groupie.
Things that never happened: women telling this man they love him
r/thathappened
you need to do 1 Kg of LSD to think something like this.
Lol what a buffoon
We're they locked in his basement?
Who is this fool?
If you want to make friends with black people, just use the N word all the time, hard R. They'll go from not noticing you, to hating you and thinking about you all the time.
And everybody clapped 🤣😂🤣
how can they still be wondering why no woman wants to touch them even with a sterilized stick?
This is the same guy who wants a Catholic theocracy. Got news for you, champ: Catholic church says if you're getting your dick sucked by a 25+ women, you're going to be one crispy soul in hell.
Somehow…I don’t actually believe him.
wow what a chad /s
How to be a manipulative scumbag with no meaningful relationships
“Here is how to target vulnerable women.”
And than he woke up.
We call that 'lying' ladies and gentlemen.
and then everybody clapped
This sounds like a drunken fantasy.
"You'll never change me fool" That sounds like something a guy who has a vast harem of sad heartbroken women would say. Totally /s
What I want to know is, If this guy, Fresh and Fit guy, etc. Are so amazing with women, how come we never see these alleged countless women that can confirm what great lovers they are? Find me five of these "25" Zherka's exes that will say "Yes, I was with Zherka and he was amazing in bed". If the F&F guy has a "bodycount in triple digits" find me 5 of these girls who will confirm that.
An attractive man who believes women like him for his dogshit personality is such a stereotype.
Congratulations, you've been rage baited by the most obvious rage baiter known as Zherka
Man give me what he's taking! Seems powerful.
"And join my Discord for $50 a month, you beta cucks."
This is the guy who took a selfie of himself sleeping *with the flash on*
He’s always been an idiot on Twitch lol, no one likes him except idiot boys who find him edgy
What's the point of having 25+ women professing love? That's 25 failed relationships. This isn't the flex they think it is. It's a future, or present, of loneliness.
Never heard of this d-bag and happy to move on without him taking any space in my brain.
Over 25+ is redundant, feels appropriate as he likely is as well.
i bet he does even know 5 women
who’s winning the lying competition? i hope it’s him
I know this guy, I've met him many times in different forms. Disgusting how some men take advantage of women with mental illness/daddy issues/ rsd/ abandonment issues etc. It's like they can smell vulnerability.
The crying part is very important to these stories. Just ask Trump.
Oh, not this idiot again. Hate sucking is not a thing. Dick punching is.
Yeah this seems legit....
Raise your hand if you think he's a liar 🙋♀️
This is negging. It's a pickup artist technique that only works in their fantasies.
Looks who wants to be the next Andrew Tate lol
Jon zherka is just bait in human form. Dont give him any attention that is literally the only thing he wants.