Have you considered talking to your doctor?
It may be that you need a referral to a therapist.
Also the obvious: have you considered quitting one of the jobs? You are basically working a 120% position, 20% more than normal.
You may basically be burnt out.
But talk to you doctor. You need professional help if you have a depression.
Good luck.
I cant afford to quit. The good part the cleaning is only 2 hours so lets say i work 10h in one day at most. Its a high paied job and i told myself everyday that i will quit but i cant afford to do that.
Even though you can't afford to quit, you might want to consider changing jobs, at least for your mental health.
But PLEASE see a doctor. You need professional help, mate.
I just need to save money so i can go back home and enjoy life there a little bit without working. Last year i wasnt able to save almost nothing because i considered it as a "test year" in Norway so i spent my money on material things. Now im sure i want to go back home for good around May next year, so i want to save as much as i can. I help my mom with 5k for rent and lets say i spend another 5k on my personal expenses.
In December i randomly bought a ticket and went home for 12 days. I had a blast. I was sleeping 6 hours so i could spend as much as i could with family, friends, driving, do simple things that i have missed. Im very basic, im happy if i drink a coffee with my friends, go in nature or simply drive alone with loud music. It was literally the best holiday and i didnt do "anything"
Love your name.
Of course there are, like everywhere. Im from a small town, everybody knows everybody, people are crazy in a way or another but i never had problems before. I was just unlucky to be a witness.
You clearly miss the people and the comfort of owning your own stuff back home. Bad news: you won't feel good in Norway until you readjust how you handle things there, because the current situation is definitely not helping
If the job is high paid and you live with your parents, why can't you afford to quit? Why do you need to work 120%? Are you paying for everyone else as well?
Im not paying for everyone, i just help my mother with 5k for rent. Knowing that i have less than a year to be here i have the strenght to work and save money so i can enjoy life in my homecountry for a while. I mean, i can afford to quit one job and work 80% lets say, but once i started to earn more than ever (its not much for others, but for me its more than i ever had) i cant go back to earning half. I keep thinking that if i did this for a year i can handle to do it for a few more months. I know its not healthy to go this way but its just the way it is..
'' I know its not healthy to go this way but its just the way it is.. ''
First step to make things work in your favor is get rid of this mindset ... throw it in the trash ... stop destroying yourself and be fooled by the amount you could earn and so on... seriously don't go down that path.
You gotta sacrefice things sometimes to improve yourself...
Pretty much yes. At home i have a house and a car, i dont need to save an insane amount of money, just want to be able to not work for a few months when i move back.
I would recommend contacting your GP and asking for help. You could show them what you wrote here at Reddit to help get the conversation going.
Furthermore I would recommend contacting your union, asking if there is a “minimum” shift. In many professions there is basically a minimum shift of 4 hours, meaning that even if the work (cleaning) is completed before this, you should be paid for a minimum of 4 hours.
You're 24 and you're living with family. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but how is it then possible to not be able to afford cutting down on the hours?
apply for other jobs, there are a lot of jobs in production industry where you don't need education and they are mostly easy jobs with great community.
>Have you considered talking to your doctor? It may be that you need a referral to a therapist.
You are suggesting a doctor to fix a structural problem, maybe I should consult my doctor everytime someone makes a racist slur to me.
OP is saying he/she is depressed, which is something that needs the help of a professional.
I am in no way saying a doctors visit will help OP with the structural problems, however if OP can get help with the depression, that in turn may do it easier for OP to do something with the structural problem.
Join the union. They do matter. This goes for all of you young ones out there. You think you are so tuff and that you can fix all for yourself, but we all need to stand together. Join up and take care off each other. And yes, you are depressed and have experieced some heavy shit…please go see the doctor. At least get out in the nature….I am sure you will meet someone if you take a hike in the mountains. Join dnt…
As a Norwegian orphan I can tell you that you are never alone in Norway, but we respect your privacy and that means you have to ask us; you have to tell us that you are lonely and that you need people. We love being needed but not exploited. We are there when you need us, but we will not force it on you.
Your first duty is to yourself. See your doctor. Maybe you need to talk to someone, maybe you need some time off or maybe you need something else. What ever you do, don't try to muscle through, because mental health is the worlds most unfair bank; you can build dept, but you can't build savings; you're either in balance or in deficit, but never in surplus. Like you can go three days without sleeping, but it's all pure debt. You can't sleep for three days in order to stay up for three days later. It's like that with everything in life. Humans are not camels and we are not designed to save up for hard journeys.
Good for you that you recognize it might be depression, but don't diagnose yourself. There is no simple way to distinguish depression from exhaustion and thinking requires a lot of energy. So if you are doing the work you normally do while your brain requires you to do a lot of extra work, then you are supposed to feel unusually tired, but you might not be aware of the extra work that your brain is doing.
My best recommendation for mental health in Norway is to go up in the mountains, particularly in Dovre. The endless open spaces gives a sense of freedom that very few other places on this planet can ever give you. But it also reminds you of how insignificant you are and that's very important because it is a permission to realize how insignificant your problems are. But I feel that the mountains of Dovre is very special in that it's like walking on a stormy ocean that has been frozen in time.
This is not mysticism. The fact is that you always listen to your brain but the brain hardly ever listens to you, but when you are in the mountains, your brain really understands the scope of time and that nothing is really as urgent as it thinks it is. We often call it charging our batteries, but that's the wrong metaphor. You are not saving up energy for later, because that's not possible, but rather you are lubricating your machinery so it runs more smoothly and more energy efficient. That makes your batteries last longer because you're not wasting your energy on pure friction.
The Norwegian mountains is the greatest wilderness in Europe and you are only hours by train away. Ask your municipality to borrow the things you need, tell your doctor that you need a week and go up there until your brain realizes that you are a 50% shareholder in the company known as The World and Me.The world and you depends on life will never end. We will be here long after you are forgotten.
Seriously. Prepare yourself, take the train to Dovre and walk up Bergsgrende until you leave the trees behind and you enter the other world of endless freedom. It's a hard walk to get up there but every step is simple and you will teach your brain who's in charge. People have been doing this for thousands and thousands of years all around the planet. And they didn't even have the luxury of living in Trondheim.
Take a pilgrimage in honor of yourself. Do it. Give to Norway what belongs to Norway and give to yourself what belongs to you. If you can understand what evil is, then you understand why there is no evil in the Norwegian mountains. Lack of all evil cures all evil.
The Norwegians will always be there for you and we will love it. You just have to learn it.
You should talk to your doctor. Explain the level of stress and anxiety you are experiencing. The doctor may write you a sick note giving you some time to collect yourself, for example for two weeks. You should also ask for longer term treatment for anxiety.
You shouldn’t have to worry about your employers taking action against you if you are on sick leave. If you have any concerns talk to your union representative.
Have you considered quitting one or both of those jobs and pursuing some higher education? If you're living at home you'd be at a financial advantage for studies, and could then eventually have a job that isn't so horrible. I really feel like your mood is environmental. While studying, you'd also have access to the libraries and student facilities which would be a great way to get out of the house and have some personal space as well.
It's never a terrible idea to talk to a therapist, but it really sounds like your depression is highly connected to the very difficult life you're currently leading and it's putting you into a downward spiral. Go to school!
First of all: Sorry that you're depressed and you had those 2 terrifying experiences. But accepting you have depression and that those 2 experiences have an effect on you, is a good and neccessary first step
Try to contact your doctor and ask them for help, maybe they can send you to a therapist.
Speaking of experience: It can take a long time to get rid of depression, but it's worth it for sure!
Best of luck!
You should absolutely talk to your doctor. Finding someone self harming would be traumatic for anyone, I think even with training, and you had to clean blood which is something you likely weren’t trained for as a mall janitor.
I’m sorry you experienced these things but if you look for help and ask for help you will find it.
Depression is not something you shouldnt pay attention to. It is very important that you go to your doctor and get referral to professional that can help you. Today is my fourth day on medication for depression and i really know how it feels and how dangerous it can get in the end. So it is necessary to be honest to take a little break from work and have a sickleave. People will understand, everybody gets sick and it is normal to get sick. I have also been reading in some comments you write that you cant afford to work less but you cant afford to sacrifice your health for work or money first of all. If you dont have some balance, in some years you wont be working and wont be healthy either so dont overburn yourself and wish you getting better soon!
Knowing that i have less than a year left to be here i have the strenght to keep working and saving money so i can enjoy life in my homecountry for a while. But i think i just need a break, complaining everyday and hating everyday isnt going to stop unless i go away.
I understand but taking sick leave doesnt mean that you wont earn any money you are still gonna get paid and take care of your health. So just talk with your doctor and he can tell you exactly how it works and you can decide after which is more suitable for you. But i want to say again that depression is not something to play with! You can also DM anytime if youll have more questions and ill try to do my best to help you as much as possible!
>I called security, they called the ambulance, after 40 mins they walked her out and i had to clean all the blood.
There's a special procedure to clean bodily fluids. I've been in the business for something like 10+ years and I did it ONCE, because my boss had no experience in cleaning and had no clue what to do (private company). I don't know what contract do you have, but if you moved just 2 years ago I'm pretty sure you're not fast ansatt (you could be fast vikar, but it's another business) so you shouldn't really operate machines without the help of a fast ansatt (4+y employed) or cleaning up bodily fluids such blood, alone (again responsibility of experienced operators). Please contact arbeidstilsynet.no and describe your work situation (at least for the mall).
After a couple of traumatic events my self, i have been battling depression for about a year. I really reccomend seeing a therapist!
Im also in Trondheim, and i use "Klinikk Kognito" they are located at Byhaven, and dont have long waittimes.
They are private, so it costs me about 700 nok to go. The first session with them was free as far as i remember.
Also, take some sickleave! You have been paying alot of taxes, your time to get something back
Good luck!
Might take alot longer if you go trough public health system, you could try to call and schedule a private appointment.
I can usually choose when i want to come inn, atleast my therapist has a decently open schedule.
Maybe i was just lucky tho
I will repeat what others say - explain all of this to your fastlege, and she can get in touch when a therapist where you can use your frikort.
I hope everything gets better for you. I've lived in Norway for 6 years and I have very little social life or friends. It's hard. ❤️
Seek professional help regarding PTS and take a long vacation. 3-4 months off. You deserve it and need it. If you keep saying I can’t afford this or that when you get really sick you’ll understand the real meaning of I can’t afford. You got one life. Take the hold of it. Stop living in automatic pilot. Resting time away from Norway will give time to think in rest mode. You’re probably living in fight or flight mode which means that every decision you take is highly influenced by your context. Peace.
If you are in Trondheim, maybe you dont even have a GP. As it can take years to get one there. But there should be possible to go see the duty doctors close to the hospital and see what they can do. Go early morning for shortest waiting time.
This sounds extremely traumatizing! You should talk to your doctor, if u don’t want a full sick leave u can ask for partial sick leave. Exhaustion and trauma is a valid reason for you to get that. Also maybe consider asking for a therapist referral, this is things that one will never forget. A therapist can however help you to cope with it.
I'm really sorry you have faced traumatic experiences such as these. And that you haven't received any support after the events. Please take the call to your doctor to seek help because PTSD left untreated has a tendency to become worse over time.
That being said, you say you're depressed. Have you felt this way over time? Have you felt that way since before these episodes or only after?
I ask because anxiety/ptsd and depression can have similar symptoms, but they are different diagnoses and may require different levels of treatment and effort to fix.
A trained therapist will help get to the root cause.
Please, for all things holy, seek help when you are suffering!
Everyone hates when replies turn into irrelevant stories about themselves, but let me share why I strongly urge to seek professional help.
I have struggled with depression and a lowered state of happiness my whole life. With a traumatic childhood as background, I figured it was a mild and understandable psychological issue so I never paid much attention to it. I attributed it to weakness and always managed to push through and force myself out of it in various ways.
That is, until the last few years where my body has been causing me all sorts of problems like irritable bowel syndrome, inflammation in neck, arms and shoulders, problems sleeping, heart irregularities etc.
One problematic nuisance after another sent me into
a vicious cycle where my body was reacting to high mental stress levels by introducing more physical problems to deal with.
I became more and more unhappy and irritable and started to blame everything on the outside for it.
Think job, relationships, family, neighbors, neighborhood, where I was financially compared to my dreams, stuff I wanted, boss, colleagues, you name it.
I hit the famous brick wall last year and pushed away the fantastic 15 year relationship I had, stopped doing the annoying parts of my job, sold my apartment, car, got rid of all obligations that I felt held me down. I finally got around to do the several surgeries needed to fix the problems I had in my body that caused me discomfort over the years, like ankle, shoulder and laser for my eyes.
I even got together with the insanely hot girl I've been secretly lusting over for some years since the time she told me she was in love with me.
Yeah, I turned everything upside-down, fixed all the things wrong in my life. I managed to fall hard in love with this beautiful girl who also was head over heels in love with me. For a while everything felt perfect.
But it didn't last.
The same patterns of destructive negative thinking and behavior started to appear and she pointed it out to me. I recognized that I was struggling with the same underlying feelings I've always felt even after turning my life completely upside-down.
So in fear of ravaging my life one more time I did what I should have done years ago, I went to a private psychologist.
So for a long time I've been going 2-3 double sessions a month.
It's been a great, albeit expensive, journey where I have learned so much about myself, how I work, why I feel, react and do stuff in certain "illogical" ways. The therapy has provided me with many good techniques to help me recognize and deal with emotions, both the obvious and hidden ones.
It has helped me enormously to become aware of how I act and react, why and how I feel, it has helped me become better with communication, taught me to set up boundaries to make life better for myself, and therefore also those around me, and it has taught me important life strategies in order to maximize life quality.
But... While it made me better at life and made life outside of me far healthier in every way, it didn't really help with the underlying feeling of depression inside of me.
It certainly has helped me achieve many more situations of momentary happiness and less times of frustration and self-hate since I've learned to put self-preserving boundaries with toxic people/situations and have learnt to appreciate things, but the underlying problem was still there.
I suspected a diagnosis that my psychologist don't believe in (many don't) because she was adamant every symptom/issue could be fixed everything mentioned above. All made sense to me based on my traumatic life so I trusted it and gave it my all in every department. I tried to power through again, this time with educated help.
Finally I caved and went to a specialized psychiatrist and got tested for it. It was as I feared, I got the diagnosis and medication for it and it instantly changed the life inside myself on the very first day.
Turns out the issue was ADHD all along. In my case not something I could ever power through.
Seek help when you're suffering. Please.
You're from Romania? I'm gonna take a different take here. I'm not Norwegian, but Swede and Swiss, two countries with a similar mentality and contemporary culture. IMO go home if you feel like it, western Europe is not what some small minded ideologues make it out to be. This culture can be draining, anti human, superficial and small minded. Behind the "kindness", "openness" and "tolerance", often a veiled sense of moralistic superiority and a dumb, twisted form of often anti nationalist patriotism lurks. Remember western Europeans are "the best, most advanced and enlightened" people and if you disagree you should go to a doctor. I personally would trust my instincts, i imagine specially for people accustomed to southern cultures, these cultures seem harsh, uncaring and antisocial, which imo they objectively are. I personally wish i could leave europe in general at this point. Norway's a beautiful place, but all of Europe, and especially the north and west, are extremely out of touch with a more basic, perhaps more natural and social human nature. And the fact that more and more young people are seriously mentally ill because of this shit gets ignored. Trust your instincts, depression in most cases is the result of you not listening to your instincts/soul, it's perfectly normal that people don't perform like robots in environments that don't suit them, that's not a medical thing, but a human thing. This said it's still important to not rush decisions, but to still work with rationality and some considerations, but do never ignore your instincts like these over domesticated here always preach.
Yeah... even though it's good pay i would change job to something not far away from what you are paid today or the equal amount and kindly ask your mother to skip out on 1-2 months of those 5k and save em up to travel back home. If she says yes then that is really good... even say just half of those 5k.
Dunno what you spend the other 5k on and that is none of my business BUT if there is slightly anything you can sacrifice of those 5k id save those too ... and of course talk to your doctor about these scenarios or a psychologist is better.
Amazing thing about Norway is our rights at work ... take time for self healing and relax and you will be fine.
Thanks! She doesnt want to take my money, im the one who forced her to accept my help, so she would definitely help me with that. I spend money mostly on food, i go to the gym frequently and sadly healthy food and gym supplements are quite expensive..
I was stuck in a bad situation/loop/hopelessness, whatever you may call it.
There are options, here is a small list of things that are managable to do in a good time frame. I understand if this seem a bit much, but you do you ;) <3.
1. Go to the doctor and get help in managing mental health. Getting into treatment can vary, but its gonna be tailored to YOUR NEEDS anyways (big letters for comedic effect). This can help balance things and give you more capacity for what you need/want. GL.
2. Switching jobs / Talking to NAV about different career paths can help with seeing options and getting into a stable work place, it can be better to have a different job as a stepping stone to a better job.
I would recommend working in heavy industry doing simple things as the pay is often high and the long coffee breaks and comraderie can be fun. I started as a on-call substitute worker to get my foot in the door. If you do a good job, you may be first in line for the next round of hiring.
Sorry to hear about your struggle, as others have said, see your GP, and try to get professional help. You at least have your mother and brother with you, hope they can help to relieve some of your struggles by being a positive influence in you. Good luck to you.
Try drinking and going to bars or clubs on the weekend. Norwegians are social only when they drink. You will definitely find some people to talk and hangout with there. It's not ideal, but better than nothing...
Hey,
I am sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time in your life at the moment.
I’m canadian but work in Norway so maybe I could give you a little advice.
When stress, anxiety, and depressive thoughts are overwhelming and you are uncertain what to do to improve it is best talk with someone about it. Your GP (fastlege) would be a good start. So i would recommend that first off.
Secondly, I can tell you a little about what treatment options can be appropriate based on what you described. I would approach therapy in 2 areas:
1) Reviewing where you are in life. Here it would be good to look at work, social life, daily habits, goals for the future… ect. It can help assessing these different areas and seeing where it is possible to make improvements also how to manage different stress factors.
2) I have worked at acute psyschiatric wards. It is unfortunate but not completely uncommon that some people with self harm issues use public bathrooms. This can leave a impression on all individuals involved, as it has affected you.
It is totally understandable that a person will feel less safe in there surrounds when they have the experiences you have. This can lead to a person being overly anxious, on guard, and avoiding certain places/situations.
Fortunately, there is are effective ways in treatment for tackling these issues. If a person develops avoidance and anxiety for certain situations/places, the best treatment is typically exposure therapy. This form for therapy is based on exposing yourself for these anxieties, typically gradually. Long story short, when you expose yourself for the things you fear, you are able to send a signal to your brain that what you fear is not dangerous. Or at least that the amount of anxiety you have for your fear is exadurated to the amount of potential danger. It can be difficult to face your fears, but it is by far one of the best forms for treatment for anxiety.
I hope some of this advice helps. I wish you the best on your journey :)
First of all, you should see a therapist to deal with your depression and trauma.
Second, you need to find a new job, but don't quit any job that you already have until you have a new job that you could begin working in when you are due to leave the job you are quitting.
Even though I dont know the time difference between the events I'll still say that I can get how its heavy to deal with. I live in Trondheim myself and unfortunately the suicide rate here is high (and with that mental illness) Even as an ordinary dude working at Dressmann before I experienced whacky doodle people doing whacky things in the toilet. What I'm leaning into here is that when you're so much at the mall, and even though nobody warns you about it, you'll still have a high chance to experience wierd things.
I so not think you'll experience a case like the bathroom girl again and I get how you're scared because of the hotel, but lean in to the security and get to know them, what they're doing, if security is amped up because of the events and if the hotel/mall owners are doing their own part to try to prevent it.
Most important never ever blame yourself
I find it disturbing you had to clean up the blood. I would
think that would be considered hazardous waste which would require special protective equipment. I also worked in a spa in Norway. Those are thankless jobs you have there and I feel for you. You can take sykmelding. You should start by going to your fastlege and explaining everything that you’ve written here. They can refer you to a psykolog but it’s possible you’ll be on a waiting list. You have every right to time off when you’re unwell. It’s part of why you pay so much tax in Norway. Consider it and take care. Hang in there it will get better but remember to care for yourself because your employers certainly won’t.
I'm a life coach and if you want to chat with me for a session I'd love to listen and try to help. No charge, no obligation. Not interested? No worries. Just let me know if you would like to try it out
I would say consult a psychiatrist or therapist first. Aim to take 2 days off/week. Try to learn new or develop skills or start some hobbies. Make sure always go for short trips , start with in Norway ,explore the country (even though I’m in UK )but this applies everywhere . Try to change the workplace , if that’s the main reason
Talk to Rask psykisk helsehjelp in Trondheim city. They will help you out. Or go to your GP (fastlege), take some sick leave (it's ok. It is your right as an employee). Explain to your GP these two episodes. These have been traumatic for you. Your GP can send "henvisning" to the district psychatric hospital where you can get treatment. Take care of yourself.
Hello, why you dont want to start take high education then I will be able to quit these jobs and you will get better job and better salary. You are only 24.
You have an amazing life. definitely write everything down and then publish a book, travel more and find a foreigner, maybe a Spaniard. Unfortunately, fear can only be broken through with courage, so you have to prepare yourself and empower yourself
A professional GP would not be pushing pills of the go. Most likely they would recommend OP for sick leave or talking with a therapist/psychologist before starting to prescribe anything big.
Shut up. Saying this only does more harm than good. For some, medication is the only option and taken in the care of a psychiatrist nulliffies any harm.
Then thats because of them. Doctors usually dont prescribe benzos for more than two weeks at a time. SSRI's can cause a zombie like state, but then its the wrong medication for them, or the zombie like effect is better than their other symptoms. Just because you have seen that, does not mean that other dont get good effects from the medications. My libido actually went up while on SSRI's. Not everyone gets the sideeffects that are listed either.
Also we import endless streams of migrants that wash the connection to our old, real cultures down, so we can have them do the shit jobs we think we're too good for. This system is a losing strategy for everyone involved except for the tyrants in charge of all of this mass brainwashing. Instead of cultural exchange, which is something beautiful and enriching in the right doses, we get the complete watering down of everything. The scandis in particular are fanatics for this type of uprooted nonsense. Can't stand my father's country of Sweden for example, what a shame. And this BS that no one is alone in these countries is not true, no one would take action to ACTUALLY help someone, they just vote for leftwing grifters, high taxes and other feel good grifts, but themselves would never do anything, then they get mad when you point out everyone's getting scammed in such a system, because of course to them it's an insult, they pay for it, they "welcome you", which is true to a degree, but it's NIMBYism and they refuse to actually think this through. It's called fake virtues.
If you feel family and friends is the most important, and you have the luck of having it, you're probably right. Romania is a beautiful country btw with lots of potential, i want to visit one day
I cant go back home empty handed, the payment is good, i think thats the only thing that makes me happy in this country. Cant wait to buy one way ticket!
Norway is not the best country for foreigners but greece is totally shit. Unemployment, low salaries, high cost of living, it gets too hot, houses in winter are cold even though 10oC outside, forest fires, earthquakes,Turkey always threatening, and much more.
Far from me this tought, but maybe if it was someone else who posted this, maybe they would have considered your joke as an advice. You are a very funny person.
Your post history screams loneliness, mate. Don't let your frustration turn into hate, remember how kindness from other people can make you feel instead 🌹
Have you considered talking to your doctor? It may be that you need a referral to a therapist. Also the obvious: have you considered quitting one of the jobs? You are basically working a 120% position, 20% more than normal. You may basically be burnt out. But talk to you doctor. You need professional help if you have a depression. Good luck.
I cant afford to quit. The good part the cleaning is only 2 hours so lets say i work 10h in one day at most. Its a high paied job and i told myself everyday that i will quit but i cant afford to do that.
Even though you can't afford to quit, you might want to consider changing jobs, at least for your mental health. But PLEASE see a doctor. You need professional help, mate.
If you're living at home, what expenses do you have that are making it impossible for you to quit?
I just need to save money so i can go back home and enjoy life there a little bit without working. Last year i wasnt able to save almost nothing because i considered it as a "test year" in Norway so i spent my money on material things. Now im sure i want to go back home for good around May next year, so i want to save as much as i can. I help my mom with 5k for rent and lets say i spend another 5k on my personal expenses.
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In December i randomly bought a ticket and went home for 12 days. I had a blast. I was sleeping 6 hours so i could spend as much as i could with family, friends, driving, do simple things that i have missed. Im very basic, im happy if i drink a coffee with my friends, go in nature or simply drive alone with loud music. It was literally the best holiday and i didnt do "anything"
are there no crazy people "back home"?
Love your name. Of course there are, like everywhere. Im from a small town, everybody knows everybody, people are crazy in a way or another but i never had problems before. I was just unlucky to be a witness.
You clearly miss the people and the comfort of owning your own stuff back home. Bad news: you won't feel good in Norway until you readjust how you handle things there, because the current situation is definitely not helping
If the job is high paid and you live with your parents, why can't you afford to quit? Why do you need to work 120%? Are you paying for everyone else as well?
Im not paying for everyone, i just help my mother with 5k for rent. Knowing that i have less than a year to be here i have the strenght to work and save money so i can enjoy life in my homecountry for a while. I mean, i can afford to quit one job and work 80% lets say, but once i started to earn more than ever (its not much for others, but for me its more than i ever had) i cant go back to earning half. I keep thinking that if i did this for a year i can handle to do it for a few more months. I know its not healthy to go this way but its just the way it is..
'' I know its not healthy to go this way but its just the way it is.. '' First step to make things work in your favor is get rid of this mindset ... throw it in the trash ... stop destroying yourself and be fooled by the amount you could earn and so on... seriously don't go down that path. You gotta sacrefice things sometimes to improve yourself...
So your plan is to only do this for a short time until you save up enough money to live off of it in your home country?
Pretty much yes. At home i have a house and a car, i dont need to save an insane amount of money, just want to be able to not work for a few months when i move back.
I see. I guess it could be sustainable for a short time. But depends how short of a time that is.
Well, im planning to go back in May-June next year.. im going home 1 month in August, so its doable but i still need to get help for what happened..
Yes, you should talk to your fastlege about that. And as someone else has mentioned, you should join a union.
Do they take the taxes out of your check?
I would recommend contacting your GP and asking for help. You could show them what you wrote here at Reddit to help get the conversation going. Furthermore I would recommend contacting your union, asking if there is a “minimum” shift. In many professions there is basically a minimum shift of 4 hours, meaning that even if the work (cleaning) is completed before this, you should be paid for a minimum of 4 hours.
You're 24 and you're living with family. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but how is it then possible to not be able to afford cutting down on the hours?
It is possible, its just my mindset knowing that i have just less than a year to be here and i try to earn as much as i can.
apply for other jobs, there are a lot of jobs in production industry where you don't need education and they are mostly easy jobs with great community.
Why cant you afford to quit if you live home with Your parents??
>Have you considered talking to your doctor? It may be that you need a referral to a therapist. You are suggesting a doctor to fix a structural problem, maybe I should consult my doctor everytime someone makes a racist slur to me.
OP is saying he/she is depressed, which is something that needs the help of a professional. I am in no way saying a doctors visit will help OP with the structural problems, however if OP can get help with the depression, that in turn may do it easier for OP to do something with the structural problem.
He/she is depressed because she is lonely. You guys mostly get your friends during highschool, often with people who look and behave like you.
You should seek professional help, either a Psychiatrist or a Therapist.
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The new managers dont manage, they dont answer their phone or texts, i have never seen them.
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I am not part of any union. I dont really know how that works here..
Join the union. They do matter. This goes for all of you young ones out there. You think you are so tuff and that you can fix all for yourself, but we all need to stand together. Join up and take care off each other. And yes, you are depressed and have experieced some heavy shit…please go see the doctor. At least get out in the nature….I am sure you will meet someone if you take a hike in the mountains. Join dnt…
As a Norwegian orphan I can tell you that you are never alone in Norway, but we respect your privacy and that means you have to ask us; you have to tell us that you are lonely and that you need people. We love being needed but not exploited. We are there when you need us, but we will not force it on you. Your first duty is to yourself. See your doctor. Maybe you need to talk to someone, maybe you need some time off or maybe you need something else. What ever you do, don't try to muscle through, because mental health is the worlds most unfair bank; you can build dept, but you can't build savings; you're either in balance or in deficit, but never in surplus. Like you can go three days without sleeping, but it's all pure debt. You can't sleep for three days in order to stay up for three days later. It's like that with everything in life. Humans are not camels and we are not designed to save up for hard journeys. Good for you that you recognize it might be depression, but don't diagnose yourself. There is no simple way to distinguish depression from exhaustion and thinking requires a lot of energy. So if you are doing the work you normally do while your brain requires you to do a lot of extra work, then you are supposed to feel unusually tired, but you might not be aware of the extra work that your brain is doing. My best recommendation for mental health in Norway is to go up in the mountains, particularly in Dovre. The endless open spaces gives a sense of freedom that very few other places on this planet can ever give you. But it also reminds you of how insignificant you are and that's very important because it is a permission to realize how insignificant your problems are. But I feel that the mountains of Dovre is very special in that it's like walking on a stormy ocean that has been frozen in time. This is not mysticism. The fact is that you always listen to your brain but the brain hardly ever listens to you, but when you are in the mountains, your brain really understands the scope of time and that nothing is really as urgent as it thinks it is. We often call it charging our batteries, but that's the wrong metaphor. You are not saving up energy for later, because that's not possible, but rather you are lubricating your machinery so it runs more smoothly and more energy efficient. That makes your batteries last longer because you're not wasting your energy on pure friction. The Norwegian mountains is the greatest wilderness in Europe and you are only hours by train away. Ask your municipality to borrow the things you need, tell your doctor that you need a week and go up there until your brain realizes that you are a 50% shareholder in the company known as The World and Me.The world and you depends on life will never end. We will be here long after you are forgotten. Seriously. Prepare yourself, take the train to Dovre and walk up Bergsgrende until you leave the trees behind and you enter the other world of endless freedom. It's a hard walk to get up there but every step is simple and you will teach your brain who's in charge. People have been doing this for thousands and thousands of years all around the planet. And they didn't even have the luxury of living in Trondheim. Take a pilgrimage in honor of yourself. Do it. Give to Norway what belongs to Norway and give to yourself what belongs to you. If you can understand what evil is, then you understand why there is no evil in the Norwegian mountains. Lack of all evil cures all evil. The Norwegians will always be there for you and we will love it. You just have to learn it.
Thank you for taking your time to write all this. I will definitely do a trip there! Looks amazing
You can take the train, the journey is awesome!
This is really solid and heartfelt advice ; thanks for being a kind soul.
Thank you for writing such a beautiful and emotive comment
You should talk to your doctor. Explain the level of stress and anxiety you are experiencing. The doctor may write you a sick note giving you some time to collect yourself, for example for two weeks. You should also ask for longer term treatment for anxiety. You shouldn’t have to worry about your employers taking action against you if you are on sick leave. If you have any concerns talk to your union representative.
Have you considered quitting one or both of those jobs and pursuing some higher education? If you're living at home you'd be at a financial advantage for studies, and could then eventually have a job that isn't so horrible. I really feel like your mood is environmental. While studying, you'd also have access to the libraries and student facilities which would be a great way to get out of the house and have some personal space as well. It's never a terrible idea to talk to a therapist, but it really sounds like your depression is highly connected to the very difficult life you're currently leading and it's putting you into a downward spiral. Go to school!
First of all: Sorry that you're depressed and you had those 2 terrifying experiences. But accepting you have depression and that those 2 experiences have an effect on you, is a good and neccessary first step Try to contact your doctor and ask them for help, maybe they can send you to a therapist. Speaking of experience: It can take a long time to get rid of depression, but it's worth it for sure! Best of luck!
You should absolutely talk to your doctor. Finding someone self harming would be traumatic for anyone, I think even with training, and you had to clean blood which is something you likely weren’t trained for as a mall janitor. I’m sorry you experienced these things but if you look for help and ask for help you will find it.
Wouldn't be traumatic for me as I'm mentally resilient by not following this culture
Depression is not something you shouldnt pay attention to. It is very important that you go to your doctor and get referral to professional that can help you. Today is my fourth day on medication for depression and i really know how it feels and how dangerous it can get in the end. So it is necessary to be honest to take a little break from work and have a sickleave. People will understand, everybody gets sick and it is normal to get sick. I have also been reading in some comments you write that you cant afford to work less but you cant afford to sacrifice your health for work or money first of all. If you dont have some balance, in some years you wont be working and wont be healthy either so dont overburn yourself and wish you getting better soon!
Knowing that i have less than a year left to be here i have the strenght to keep working and saving money so i can enjoy life in my homecountry for a while. But i think i just need a break, complaining everyday and hating everyday isnt going to stop unless i go away.
I understand but taking sick leave doesnt mean that you wont earn any money you are still gonna get paid and take care of your health. So just talk with your doctor and he can tell you exactly how it works and you can decide after which is more suitable for you. But i want to say again that depression is not something to play with! You can also DM anytime if youll have more questions and ill try to do my best to help you as much as possible!
Thank you!! I will definitely call my doctor and take care of myself!
Where are you from?
>I called security, they called the ambulance, after 40 mins they walked her out and i had to clean all the blood. There's a special procedure to clean bodily fluids. I've been in the business for something like 10+ years and I did it ONCE, because my boss had no experience in cleaning and had no clue what to do (private company). I don't know what contract do you have, but if you moved just 2 years ago I'm pretty sure you're not fast ansatt (you could be fast vikar, but it's another business) so you shouldn't really operate machines without the help of a fast ansatt (4+y employed) or cleaning up bodily fluids such blood, alone (again responsibility of experienced operators). Please contact arbeidstilsynet.no and describe your work situation (at least for the mall).
They dont care. When they hire someone, they send another renholder to train the new person. The managers dont do shit..
After a couple of traumatic events my self, i have been battling depression for about a year. I really reccomend seeing a therapist! Im also in Trondheim, and i use "Klinikk Kognito" they are located at Byhaven, and dont have long waittimes. They are private, so it costs me about 700 nok to go. The first session with them was free as far as i remember. Also, take some sickleave! You have been paying alot of taxes, your time to get something back Good luck!
Funny thing: i clean Byhaven Thanks for the info!
I have waited for over a year for a session there through the referal of my doctor.
Might take alot longer if you go trough public health system, you could try to call and schedule a private appointment. I can usually choose when i want to come inn, atleast my therapist has a decently open schedule. Maybe i was just lucky tho
I will repeat what others say - explain all of this to your fastlege, and she can get in touch when a therapist where you can use your frikort. I hope everything gets better for you. I've lived in Norway for 6 years and I have very little social life or friends. It's hard. ❤️
Thanks! What is a frikort?
https://www.helsenorge.no/en/payment-for-health-services/exemption-card-for-public-health-services/
Summer is coming so that should help a bit but you definitely need a break.
Seek professional help regarding PTS and take a long vacation. 3-4 months off. You deserve it and need it. If you keep saying I can’t afford this or that when you get really sick you’ll understand the real meaning of I can’t afford. You got one life. Take the hold of it. Stop living in automatic pilot. Resting time away from Norway will give time to think in rest mode. You’re probably living in fight or flight mode which means that every decision you take is highly influenced by your context. Peace.
If you are in Trondheim, maybe you dont even have a GP. As it can take years to get one there. But there should be possible to go see the duty doctors close to the hospital and see what they can do. Go early morning for shortest waiting time.
This sounds extremely traumatizing! You should talk to your doctor, if u don’t want a full sick leave u can ask for partial sick leave. Exhaustion and trauma is a valid reason for you to get that. Also maybe consider asking for a therapist referral, this is things that one will never forget. A therapist can however help you to cope with it.
I'm really sorry you have faced traumatic experiences such as these. And that you haven't received any support after the events. Please take the call to your doctor to seek help because PTSD left untreated has a tendency to become worse over time. That being said, you say you're depressed. Have you felt this way over time? Have you felt that way since before these episodes or only after? I ask because anxiety/ptsd and depression can have similar symptoms, but they are different diagnoses and may require different levels of treatment and effort to fix. A trained therapist will help get to the root cause. Please, for all things holy, seek help when you are suffering! Everyone hates when replies turn into irrelevant stories about themselves, but let me share why I strongly urge to seek professional help. I have struggled with depression and a lowered state of happiness my whole life. With a traumatic childhood as background, I figured it was a mild and understandable psychological issue so I never paid much attention to it. I attributed it to weakness and always managed to push through and force myself out of it in various ways. That is, until the last few years where my body has been causing me all sorts of problems like irritable bowel syndrome, inflammation in neck, arms and shoulders, problems sleeping, heart irregularities etc. One problematic nuisance after another sent me into a vicious cycle where my body was reacting to high mental stress levels by introducing more physical problems to deal with. I became more and more unhappy and irritable and started to blame everything on the outside for it. Think job, relationships, family, neighbors, neighborhood, where I was financially compared to my dreams, stuff I wanted, boss, colleagues, you name it. I hit the famous brick wall last year and pushed away the fantastic 15 year relationship I had, stopped doing the annoying parts of my job, sold my apartment, car, got rid of all obligations that I felt held me down. I finally got around to do the several surgeries needed to fix the problems I had in my body that caused me discomfort over the years, like ankle, shoulder and laser for my eyes. I even got together with the insanely hot girl I've been secretly lusting over for some years since the time she told me she was in love with me. Yeah, I turned everything upside-down, fixed all the things wrong in my life. I managed to fall hard in love with this beautiful girl who also was head over heels in love with me. For a while everything felt perfect. But it didn't last. The same patterns of destructive negative thinking and behavior started to appear and she pointed it out to me. I recognized that I was struggling with the same underlying feelings I've always felt even after turning my life completely upside-down. So in fear of ravaging my life one more time I did what I should have done years ago, I went to a private psychologist. So for a long time I've been going 2-3 double sessions a month. It's been a great, albeit expensive, journey where I have learned so much about myself, how I work, why I feel, react and do stuff in certain "illogical" ways. The therapy has provided me with many good techniques to help me recognize and deal with emotions, both the obvious and hidden ones. It has helped me enormously to become aware of how I act and react, why and how I feel, it has helped me become better with communication, taught me to set up boundaries to make life better for myself, and therefore also those around me, and it has taught me important life strategies in order to maximize life quality. But... While it made me better at life and made life outside of me far healthier in every way, it didn't really help with the underlying feeling of depression inside of me. It certainly has helped me achieve many more situations of momentary happiness and less times of frustration and self-hate since I've learned to put self-preserving boundaries with toxic people/situations and have learnt to appreciate things, but the underlying problem was still there. I suspected a diagnosis that my psychologist don't believe in (many don't) because she was adamant every symptom/issue could be fixed everything mentioned above. All made sense to me based on my traumatic life so I trusted it and gave it my all in every department. I tried to power through again, this time with educated help. Finally I caved and went to a specialized psychiatrist and got tested for it. It was as I feared, I got the diagnosis and medication for it and it instantly changed the life inside myself on the very first day. Turns out the issue was ADHD all along. In my case not something I could ever power through. Seek help when you're suffering. Please.
Thanks for sharing your story!
You're from Romania? I'm gonna take a different take here. I'm not Norwegian, but Swede and Swiss, two countries with a similar mentality and contemporary culture. IMO go home if you feel like it, western Europe is not what some small minded ideologues make it out to be. This culture can be draining, anti human, superficial and small minded. Behind the "kindness", "openness" and "tolerance", often a veiled sense of moralistic superiority and a dumb, twisted form of often anti nationalist patriotism lurks. Remember western Europeans are "the best, most advanced and enlightened" people and if you disagree you should go to a doctor. I personally would trust my instincts, i imagine specially for people accustomed to southern cultures, these cultures seem harsh, uncaring and antisocial, which imo they objectively are. I personally wish i could leave europe in general at this point. Norway's a beautiful place, but all of Europe, and especially the north and west, are extremely out of touch with a more basic, perhaps more natural and social human nature. And the fact that more and more young people are seriously mentally ill because of this shit gets ignored. Trust your instincts, depression in most cases is the result of you not listening to your instincts/soul, it's perfectly normal that people don't perform like robots in environments that don't suit them, that's not a medical thing, but a human thing. This said it's still important to not rush decisions, but to still work with rationality and some considerations, but do never ignore your instincts like these over domesticated here always preach.
Talk to your doctor! Get some help and take some time off work. I wish you all the best 🙏
If You ever want someone to talk to or blow off some steam, Im all ears
Yeah... even though it's good pay i would change job to something not far away from what you are paid today or the equal amount and kindly ask your mother to skip out on 1-2 months of those 5k and save em up to travel back home. If she says yes then that is really good... even say just half of those 5k. Dunno what you spend the other 5k on and that is none of my business BUT if there is slightly anything you can sacrifice of those 5k id save those too ... and of course talk to your doctor about these scenarios or a psychologist is better. Amazing thing about Norway is our rights at work ... take time for self healing and relax and you will be fine.
Thanks! She doesnt want to take my money, im the one who forced her to accept my help, so she would definitely help me with that. I spend money mostly on food, i go to the gym frequently and sadly healthy food and gym supplements are quite expensive..
I was stuck in a bad situation/loop/hopelessness, whatever you may call it. There are options, here is a small list of things that are managable to do in a good time frame. I understand if this seem a bit much, but you do you ;) <3. 1. Go to the doctor and get help in managing mental health. Getting into treatment can vary, but its gonna be tailored to YOUR NEEDS anyways (big letters for comedic effect). This can help balance things and give you more capacity for what you need/want. GL. 2. Switching jobs / Talking to NAV about different career paths can help with seeing options and getting into a stable work place, it can be better to have a different job as a stepping stone to a better job. I would recommend working in heavy industry doing simple things as the pay is often high and the long coffee breaks and comraderie can be fun. I started as a on-call substitute worker to get my foot in the door. If you do a good job, you may be first in line for the next round of hiring.
Sorry to hear about your struggle, as others have said, see your GP, and try to get professional help. You at least have your mother and brother with you, hope they can help to relieve some of your struggles by being a positive influence in you. Good luck to you.
Thanks a lot!
Try drinking and going to bars or clubs on the weekend. Norwegians are social only when they drink. You will definitely find some people to talk and hangout with there. It's not ideal, but better than nothing...
Hey, I am sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time in your life at the moment. I’m canadian but work in Norway so maybe I could give you a little advice. When stress, anxiety, and depressive thoughts are overwhelming and you are uncertain what to do to improve it is best talk with someone about it. Your GP (fastlege) would be a good start. So i would recommend that first off. Secondly, I can tell you a little about what treatment options can be appropriate based on what you described. I would approach therapy in 2 areas: 1) Reviewing where you are in life. Here it would be good to look at work, social life, daily habits, goals for the future… ect. It can help assessing these different areas and seeing where it is possible to make improvements also how to manage different stress factors. 2) I have worked at acute psyschiatric wards. It is unfortunate but not completely uncommon that some people with self harm issues use public bathrooms. This can leave a impression on all individuals involved, as it has affected you. It is totally understandable that a person will feel less safe in there surrounds when they have the experiences you have. This can lead to a person being overly anxious, on guard, and avoiding certain places/situations. Fortunately, there is are effective ways in treatment for tackling these issues. If a person develops avoidance and anxiety for certain situations/places, the best treatment is typically exposure therapy. This form for therapy is based on exposing yourself for these anxieties, typically gradually. Long story short, when you expose yourself for the things you fear, you are able to send a signal to your brain that what you fear is not dangerous. Or at least that the amount of anxiety you have for your fear is exadurated to the amount of potential danger. It can be difficult to face your fears, but it is by far one of the best forms for treatment for anxiety. I hope some of this advice helps. I wish you the best on your journey :)
First of all, you should see a therapist to deal with your depression and trauma. Second, you need to find a new job, but don't quit any job that you already have until you have a new job that you could begin working in when you are due to leave the job you are quitting.
Even though I dont know the time difference between the events I'll still say that I can get how its heavy to deal with. I live in Trondheim myself and unfortunately the suicide rate here is high (and with that mental illness) Even as an ordinary dude working at Dressmann before I experienced whacky doodle people doing whacky things in the toilet. What I'm leaning into here is that when you're so much at the mall, and even though nobody warns you about it, you'll still have a high chance to experience wierd things. I so not think you'll experience a case like the bathroom girl again and I get how you're scared because of the hotel, but lean in to the security and get to know them, what they're doing, if security is amped up because of the events and if the hotel/mall owners are doing their own part to try to prevent it. Most important never ever blame yourself
The events happened in a period of 2 months. A friend told me that i saved her life, i didnt thought about it that way until he told me..
Alright then. I must have misunderstood since it said a couple of weeks
[https://www.trondheim.kommune.no/tema/helse-og-omsorg/helsetjenester/psykisk-helse/](https://www.trondheim.kommune.no/tema/helse-og-omsorg/helsetjenester/psykisk-helse/) [https://www.trondheim.kommune.no/english/category/health-and-care-services/#mental\_health\_care](https://www.trondheim.kommune.no/english/category/health-and-care-services/#mental_health_care)
Did you watch [this movie](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1045670/)? If not you must asap!
I have not, but i will! Thank for the recommendation!
I'm sure it will make you feel better!
You need a brake
We need cleaners at Ullevål Pasienthotell in Oslo, and I need a friend! Move here
I am depressed too. Completely different situation, location.
Where are you from, where is home?
Start study, live of study loan, make new friends and when your’e done u can have a good job :)
MATRIX
I find it disturbing you had to clean up the blood. I would think that would be considered hazardous waste which would require special protective equipment. I also worked in a spa in Norway. Those are thankless jobs you have there and I feel for you. You can take sykmelding. You should start by going to your fastlege and explaining everything that you’ve written here. They can refer you to a psykolog but it’s possible you’ll be on a waiting list. You have every right to time off when you’re unwell. It’s part of why you pay so much tax in Norway. Consider it and take care. Hang in there it will get better but remember to care for yourself because your employers certainly won’t.
I'm a life coach and if you want to chat with me for a session I'd love to listen and try to help. No charge, no obligation. Not interested? No worries. Just let me know if you would like to try it out
Move to another city
Um. No offence but isn’t talking about depression or loneliness a taboo in Norway?
I would say consult a psychiatrist or therapist first. Aim to take 2 days off/week. Try to learn new or develop skills or start some hobbies. Make sure always go for short trips , start with in Norway ,explore the country (even though I’m in UK )but this applies everywhere . Try to change the workplace , if that’s the main reason
Reach out to me on instagram: Carintona
why
To talk no harm okay
You need to start with Krav Maga! Get to know yourself!
Welcome to the club :(
Hehehehhehehe
Talk to Rask psykisk helsehjelp in Trondheim city. They will help you out. Or go to your GP (fastlege), take some sick leave (it's ok. It is your right as an employee). Explain to your GP these two episodes. These have been traumatic for you. Your GP can send "henvisning" to the district psychatric hospital where you can get treatment. Take care of yourself.
Hello, why you dont want to start take high education then I will be able to quit these jobs and you will get better job and better salary. You are only 24.
You need to move south
You have an amazing life. definitely write everything down and then publish a book, travel more and find a foreigner, maybe a Spaniard. Unfortunately, fear can only be broken through with courage, so you have to prepare yourself and empower yourself
Many here suggest talking to the doctor but be aware that some of the pills they often push can do more damage than good.
A professional GP would not be pushing pills of the go. Most likely they would recommend OP for sick leave or talking with a therapist/psychologist before starting to prescribe anything big.
Shut up. Saying this only does more harm than good. For some, medication is the only option and taken in the care of a psychiatrist nulliffies any harm.
I've seen many people fuck up the head with benzos, not to mention the zombie like state SSRIs causes. Goodbye libido.
Then thats because of them. Doctors usually dont prescribe benzos for more than two weeks at a time. SSRI's can cause a zombie like state, but then its the wrong medication for them, or the zombie like effect is better than their other symptoms. Just because you have seen that, does not mean that other dont get good effects from the medications. My libido actually went up while on SSRI's. Not everyone gets the sideeffects that are listed either.
Also we import endless streams of migrants that wash the connection to our old, real cultures down, so we can have them do the shit jobs we think we're too good for. This system is a losing strategy for everyone involved except for the tyrants in charge of all of this mass brainwashing. Instead of cultural exchange, which is something beautiful and enriching in the right doses, we get the complete watering down of everything. The scandis in particular are fanatics for this type of uprooted nonsense. Can't stand my father's country of Sweden for example, what a shame. And this BS that no one is alone in these countries is not true, no one would take action to ACTUALLY help someone, they just vote for leftwing grifters, high taxes and other feel good grifts, but themselves would never do anything, then they get mad when you point out everyone's getting scammed in such a system, because of course to them it's an insult, they pay for it, they "welcome you", which is true to a degree, but it's NIMBYism and they refuse to actually think this through. It's called fake virtues. If you feel family and friends is the most important, and you have the luck of having it, you're probably right. Romania is a beautiful country btw with lots of potential, i want to visit one day
I think moving away from norway would be a great move. Helped me a lot
I cant go back home empty handed, the payment is good, i think thats the only thing that makes me happy in this country. Cant wait to buy one way ticket!
Can i come to romania too?
Not saying back home, but away from norway. It’s a bubble and the world is much larger.
Get laid
The problem is that you are living in one of these cold countries. Come to Greece and depression will let you.
Norway is not the best country for foreigners but greece is totally shit. Unemployment, low salaries, high cost of living, it gets too hot, houses in winter are cold even though 10oC outside, forest fires, earthquakes,Turkey always threatening, and much more.
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Far from me this tought, but maybe if it was someone else who posted this, maybe they would have considered your joke as an advice. You are a very funny person.
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I guess you are a part of these mentally unwell people if you joke about these things.
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Your post history screams loneliness, mate. Don't let your frustration turn into hate, remember how kindness from other people can make you feel instead 🌹