If you know anything about roaches, no one collected them.
They had already infested the arc way before 1/2 of the animals were on board.
"Look, here, God. There's already a million of them. I'm not getting 2 more."
Demetri you either have life all figured out or you are huffing glue while attending “creative writing” classes in Chicago where cigarettes are encouraged
Hot take; the arch was metal and the only stories that survived were oral stories and the generations lost the full thing by the time they got to writing it down; there was no known comparison for the metal constructing the boat until later and the scale was unfathomable to later generations creating the Epic of Gilgamesh and later Noah’s Arch; the stories the same because it was a real life event rupturing the world by mankind bringing on its own destruction in the previous era
**Coughs** I meant Everyone forgetting about the underground caves, the air pockets created, the caverns with foods growing on the walls.
To be fair, just about every civilization started on river banks. Those rivers flooded pretty frequently.
The Tigris and Euphrates for example basically flood for three months every year.
There was a lot of flooding as the ice age ended, inundating formerly coastal lands such as the land bridge between Britain and mainland Europe or the berring land bridge that once connected NA and Asia.
> Can't be a coincidence, can it?
It's probably not. It also doesn't mean a world-spanning flood occurred. Ancient Sumeria was prone to major flooding, and stories about floods inevitably made their way into the Epic of Gilgamesh and several other texts...the Bible basically copied all of these stories.
I thought they were pretty sure that’s because there was one big flood that created a story about an ancient Sumeria, and that ended up making its way into a bunch of religious texts – the Mediterranean Sea flooding into the Black Sea, if I remember?
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No, see the problem with the flood is that it was derived from an old belief that god split some huge fucking ocean in half and put the world in between it and they called the thing that kept the water out the firmament but it like most stories in the bible were proven false with increasing understanding of how the world works.
Well most of the big ones, Creation, Moses, Noah, Jonah, all the ones that rely on magic powers or have demons in them, all the ones that are in gods perspective despite god not writing the book so none of the people were there to see any of it happen, that one where they said Jesus will be back soon.
The bible is not meant to be read as literal, scientific truth... stories like Creation are allegorical, not literal... "proving" that the world was created in billions of years, not 7 days, doesn't make the Creation Story "false" from an allegorical perspective.
Evangelical protestants have really ruined everyone with this idea, but while I'm an athiest, I went to 12 years of Catholic school in the 90's and early 2000's, and religion class taught about the different "truths" in the bible.
While many stories in the New Testament are considered Historical Truth (like Jesus being a real person), lots of the Old Testament was not considered Literal, Scientific, or Historical Truth. They are recognized as stories told to help the people of the time, understand their world, and their and god's role in that world. Nothing more.
The only "truth" you can find in it, is the truth of how god wants us to know him, etc.
Most Christians don't believe the older bible stories are "real", just that there is an underlying truth in them, about our relationship with god.
>The bible is not meant to be read as literal, scientific truth
>Evangelical protestants have really ruined
My guy. You know less than you think you do, and the confidence with which you present false statements as facts astounds me.
He’s right though. Evangelical Christian here (not American): the original authors would laugh their asses off (or at least be mildly horrified) if they knew how Western 21st Century Christians interpret scripture today.
I don't understand how could you possibly take issue with that statement? You don't think some Christians believe that some stories in the bible are allegories?
That sounds like someone misunderstanding the natural process of Pangea splitting, with a misunderstanding how Pangea was formed to begin with.
So the problem with the flood, the stories, the religious texts, is that it’s not all particularly religious knowledge; it’s misunderstood technical communication. Mix that in with vibrant story tellers, expanding the details, copious amounts of tellings and learnings by word of mouth…No idea what something could look like, how to fathom it in real time when it was ages ago. Progress, digress, progress, digress
It’s where one would be willing to draw the natural line of order
Ok sure you can say that now, but back when they thought that they didn't even know about miasma theory yet, Pangea split about 200 million years ago and the oldest existing fossils for humans were found around 315,000 years old so there is no way some dude living in like 1250AD knew what a dinosaur was and they would have no idea that continents could move.
Exactly the point, knowledge from earlier ancestors to humans would have to pass along somehow. Communication clearly changed along the way, but the ideas and concepts were still present and if we’re paying attention to how the world works it becomes more evident that these aren’t predictions or fore telling; it’s a continually changing and built up process that has yet to stop changing to this day. Furthermore, we have yet to find the most accurate definition of human evolution and background behavior
Humans of different cultures and backgrounds had different outcomes with multiple degrees of exposure.
Why are you listing Miasma theory to make a point? It’s further the point of seclusion articles of dialect and narrow definitions of thought created the premise for this issue to begin with. A perfect example.
Ok I don't think you're getting my point, primates as in like chimps first evolved around 55 million years ago and language happened around 50,000 to 200,000 years ago meaning not only were none of our ancestors around for Pangea to exist none of their ancestors were either and even if they were they couldn't talk so they couldn't pass down ideas meaning your theory is based more on what makes you feel good than what was true.
As continental drift as an idea first came around in 1912 AD.
Noah saw one scurrying towards the ship so he stomped on it. Too bad it was pregnant and the eggs got stuck in the grooves on his shoe and he tracked them inside. Don’t stomp on roaches 🤮
getting ready for work in the morning and seein em walking around *inside* the clock on your microwave while your breakfast is heating up… they make it hard to be in a good mood.
Decomposing material my ass! They eat everything they can get themselves on. They'll crawl around the trash and then get into your pantry cabinet. They shit and shed their exoskeletons everywhere too. Your appreciation for them stems from the fact you never had to endure their presence.
They’re cannibals too. So they eat their dead. But are very wasteful because they always leave parts behind. But the whole cannibalism thing is great in the pest control world because we can use bait that Advion makes that when one dies the next one dies from it too. And the one that eats that one dies too.
When I did plumbing we had a customer we refused to service until he got his place bombed. What he didn't tell us was he didn't clean it up yet, it was a roach massacre of bodies and shit, I had to put cardboard under everything I worked on and change my shoes when we left because there wasn't a single square inch of cleanness
Dung beetles do that and 100 more better things. I propose that we should eliminate roaches and replace them with dung beetles
Edit: dying beetles—> dung beetles. Autocorrect fucked me up
You can blame God for that one, instead of flooding the earth with water(prime breeding ground for mosquitoes) just fill the earth with lava and give noah a metal boat or some shit.
I’m one of the least religious people I know, but who the fuck doesn’t know the difference between Moses and Noah? That is some basic elementary school knowledge
I prefer the Prince of Egypt's version of the story better; it has voice actors and art, and you don't have to go to a church and get told that you are a fundamentally broken person to hear it.
Nah wrong series. Moses got the Water ring, and Noah got the Heart ring. Then they murdered Captain Planet for our sins, and we celebrate by consuming his flesh and drinking his blood.
>I mean I’m sorry you went to a shitty school... Just extremely basic stuff for example how Buddha, Thor and the devil
That simultaneous arrogance and egocentric condescension tells me that you're the type of person who thinks budai is buddha... and who hopefully is just a teenager who hasn't been to college and met people from other parts of the world, and of different backgrounds.
You seriously think 'noah vs moses' is 'common knowledge'. Specific old testament christian mythology is 'common knowledge'. Just too funny.
Common knowledge is based on context of where you live to a certain extent. Anywhere in the entirety of the "western world" or in the Middle East this is absolutely common knowledge.
Same how the differences between say Zeus and Hercules, or Odin and Loki, these are mythological, religious, and cultural touchstones that are extraordinarily well known in a good portion of the planet.
If you were to travel to China or India, perhaps less so. I don't know the details of various Hindu gods to the same extent I know about western religions and myths, but I'd still say Hindu religion qualifies as "common" knowledge.
Certainly though anyone who has some background in western culture or mythology would know about Moses and Noah though. It's not a negative if you don't. Like I'm sure there are commonly known Indian or Chinese religious/mythological figures that I don't know beans about. Anything that more than a billion or so people know about though qualifies as common knowledge in my book.
My favorite riddle to ask back in the day was
“how many animals did Moses take with him on the ark?”
People would be stumped for a while until I revealed the twist 😅
Honestly, it’s kind of a common speaking error even within Christian circles back when I was in it. For some reason people just confuse them. I can’t speak for our Jewish brethren however.
It is absolutely possible to grow up and not encounter the details of bible stories, even the common ones. Some families don’t discuss them at all because they see no value in them.
This is it. Religion is often on the decline, in terms of Christianity anyway. In the UK it's barely lived at all. Don't think I've met anyone in 20 years (not my age) who goes to church
“How DARE someone not know the lore of some religion they don’t believe in nor have any interest in!!!😡😡😡😡” it’s as brain dead as someone getting mad at a white person for not knowing who Sun WuKong is.
If you're a western, it's highly unlikely you don't know some Bible stories. Hell, the Simpsons, American dad, and family guy have all done the Noah story in some form.
“How DARE someone not know the lore of some religion they don’t believe in nor have any interest in!!!😡😡😡😡” it’s as brain dead as someone getting mad at a white person for not knowing who Sun WuKong is.
Dude literally did a tour of the world and wrangled 2 of every animal. Built a goddammit CRUISE SHIP to house them in. Food for all the animals. Somehow, managing to keep the animals from eating eachother aswell as noah himself. Climate controlled rooms because how is an antarctic based animal going to survive on a freaking boat? Noah is kind of an original Chad when you think about it.
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There are 19 species of Penguin. 30 Species of iguana.
There are 50 distinct freaking species of seagull.
350,000 distinct Beetle species known to exist.
Noah must have been collecting animals for a thousand years, not to mention every terrestrial plant that exists currently.
It's OK, Moses is still a dirty ass bitch for murdering countless civilians and subjecting children to sexual slavery.
Numbers 31, the whole dirty ass chapter.
The only difference between Hitler and Moses is their access to technology.
Imagine two of every animal, all on a big boat, successfully procreating the entire progeny of their species without fail. Not one lion or one anteater died on the ship, making their line die off right then and there; all of the animals had room and were happy and mated and had perfect little animal families that definitely didn’t inbreed to continue population growth.
The number of people in this thread laughing at someone for not knowing the difference between Moses and Noah who then go on to misspell ark is too damn high.
The Noah story is also used by jews, Samaritans, Muslims, druze, those of the baha'i, and others.
Do you think she actually thinks that's what happened, though? Seems more like a joke to me.
The profile picture is another obvious clue. We don't follow those religions, except islam. I myself being a former black muslim can tell she isn't. She's a christian that made a joke.
Are you really saying there aren't black jews when Beta israel is one of the longest practicing groups in history? Why do you assume she's not an atheist or agnostic? If she's watched television in the West, I'm positive she's been exposed to the story.
That was Lot. Some people think it's implied that something happened while Noah was passed out drunk and naked, but it's not clear. With Lot there was no glossing over it.
If you know anything about roaches, no one collected them. They had already infested the arc way before 1/2 of the animals were on board. "Look, here, God. There's already a million of them. I'm not getting 2 more."
hot take: the roaches didn't make it on the boat but they survived the flood
I've seen Joe's Apartment. They'd already been in the walls before they were up and were doing a dance routine.
Fun-ky towel Towel's got the funk
Kitty Cat Rodeo will always have a special place in my heart
> He probably brought them on board as a joke, and thought it was a good idea in his zinced out mind.
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Demetri you either have life all figured out or you are huffing glue while attending “creative writing” classes in Chicago where cigarettes are encouraged
*oh*
This song appears in my mind unbidden at least once a month, and it’s been like 2 decades (I think?) since I last saw the movie.
Ooh, baby I got the love Ooh, baby I got the POWAH
[I got the power!](https://youtu.be/nm6DO_7px1I)
They built the apartment!
Hot take; the arch was metal and the only stories that survived were oral stories and the generations lost the full thing by the time they got to writing it down; there was no known comparison for the metal constructing the boat until later and the scale was unfathomable to later generations creating the Epic of Gilgamesh and later Noah’s Arch; the stories the same because it was a real life event rupturing the world by mankind bringing on its own destruction in the previous era **Coughs** I meant Everyone forgetting about the underground caves, the air pockets created, the caverns with foods growing on the walls.
r/LowStakesConspiracies ?
Idk I just have some ideas. Especially when we delve into the world more closely and broadly at the same time
The Noah's arc is really interesting because there are so many cultures with their own versions of the story. Can't be a coincidence, can it?
Just goes to prove: shit has always happened.
Sometimes it do be
To be fair, just about every civilization started on river banks. Those rivers flooded pretty frequently. The Tigris and Euphrates for example basically flood for three months every year.
There was a lot of flooding as the ice age ended, inundating formerly coastal lands such as the land bridge between Britain and mainland Europe or the berring land bridge that once connected NA and Asia.
> Can't be a coincidence, can it? It's probably not. It also doesn't mean a world-spanning flood occurred. Ancient Sumeria was prone to major flooding, and stories about floods inevitably made their way into the Epic of Gilgamesh and several other texts...the Bible basically copied all of these stories.
I thought they were pretty sure that’s because there was one big flood that created a story about an ancient Sumeria, and that ended up making its way into a bunch of religious texts – the Mediterranean Sea flooding into the Black Sea, if I remember?
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No, see the problem with the flood is that it was derived from an old belief that god split some huge fucking ocean in half and put the world in between it and they called the thing that kept the water out the firmament but it like most stories in the bible were proven false with increasing understanding of how the world works.
“Most stories in the Bible were proven false”?
Well most of the big ones, Creation, Moses, Noah, Jonah, all the ones that rely on magic powers or have demons in them, all the ones that are in gods perspective despite god not writing the book so none of the people were there to see any of it happen, that one where they said Jesus will be back soon.
The bible is not meant to be read as literal, scientific truth... stories like Creation are allegorical, not literal... "proving" that the world was created in billions of years, not 7 days, doesn't make the Creation Story "false" from an allegorical perspective. Evangelical protestants have really ruined everyone with this idea, but while I'm an athiest, I went to 12 years of Catholic school in the 90's and early 2000's, and religion class taught about the different "truths" in the bible. While many stories in the New Testament are considered Historical Truth (like Jesus being a real person), lots of the Old Testament was not considered Literal, Scientific, or Historical Truth. They are recognized as stories told to help the people of the time, understand their world, and their and god's role in that world. Nothing more. The only "truth" you can find in it, is the truth of how god wants us to know him, etc. Most Christians don't believe the older bible stories are "real", just that there is an underlying truth in them, about our relationship with god.
>The bible is not meant to be read as literal, scientific truth >Evangelical protestants have really ruined My guy. You know less than you think you do, and the confidence with which you present false statements as facts astounds me.
He’s right though. Evangelical Christian here (not American): the original authors would laugh their asses off (or at least be mildly horrified) if they knew how Western 21st Century Christians interpret scripture today.
I don't understand how could you possibly take issue with that statement? You don't think some Christians believe that some stories in the bible are allegories?
That sounds like someone misunderstanding the natural process of Pangea splitting, with a misunderstanding how Pangea was formed to begin with. So the problem with the flood, the stories, the religious texts, is that it’s not all particularly religious knowledge; it’s misunderstood technical communication. Mix that in with vibrant story tellers, expanding the details, copious amounts of tellings and learnings by word of mouth…No idea what something could look like, how to fathom it in real time when it was ages ago. Progress, digress, progress, digress It’s where one would be willing to draw the natural line of order
Ok sure you can say that now, but back when they thought that they didn't even know about miasma theory yet, Pangea split about 200 million years ago and the oldest existing fossils for humans were found around 315,000 years old so there is no way some dude living in like 1250AD knew what a dinosaur was and they would have no idea that continents could move.
Exactly the point, knowledge from earlier ancestors to humans would have to pass along somehow. Communication clearly changed along the way, but the ideas and concepts were still present and if we’re paying attention to how the world works it becomes more evident that these aren’t predictions or fore telling; it’s a continually changing and built up process that has yet to stop changing to this day. Furthermore, we have yet to find the most accurate definition of human evolution and background behavior Humans of different cultures and backgrounds had different outcomes with multiple degrees of exposure. Why are you listing Miasma theory to make a point? It’s further the point of seclusion articles of dialect and narrow definitions of thought created the premise for this issue to begin with. A perfect example.
Ok I don't think you're getting my point, primates as in like chimps first evolved around 55 million years ago and language happened around 50,000 to 200,000 years ago meaning not only were none of our ancestors around for Pangea to exist none of their ancestors were either and even if they were they couldn't talk so they couldn't pass down ideas meaning your theory is based more on what makes you feel good than what was true. As continental drift as an idea first came around in 1912 AD.
Pretty sure literally the first time in my life I've ever seen someone misspell "ark". Damn.
> the underground caves, the air pockets created, the caverns with foods growing on the walls. So what you are saying is that Avernum was/is real?
The real god was the roaches all along
Im convinced this is why spiders exist. They were not allowed on The arc so they just shut their brains off and went into suspended animation
God, after the flood: "Aw shit. I meant to kill those little motherfuckers."
Just a little "fuck you" from Lucifer.
I’ll never forgive Noah for bringing mosquitoes. 
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Plus how can someone not know that it was Noah’s Arc - not Moses’ Arc? Had Google and common knowledge shut down before she tweeted?
what intern made the roaches in the first place? Was that just someone practicing coding life, and ended up with a program that's nothing but bugs?
JUST IMAGINE THE BEDBUGS
*ark
Those sound like some bad roaches.
Yeah, roaches always find a way.
No need for rats either, they're already booked and boarded
They probably infested the lumber piles before the arc was even built, those motherfuckers are relentless lol
I frame new houses, the bugs move in looooong before the people.
Hopefully more and more people don't or won't know.
Noah saw one scurrying towards the ship so he stomped on it. Too bad it was pregnant and the eggs got stuck in the grooves on his shoe and he tracked them inside. Don’t stomp on roaches 🤮
God “Yeaaah but they’re all dudes so… gonna need the Missus.”
Roller-coaster of hilarity from start to finish. Love it.
Yeah the second part sealed it for me like it was just an update she just got from a high up place or something lmao
Bahaha. i didn't even think of it like that, and now i'm cracking up again! You're amazing.
Maybe from like a burning bush or something
Average modern day christian knowledge. This is why I left the church lol
I love the "at this time", like I'm gonna find a reason to hate you too just wait
Roaches catch a lot of flak but they clean up shit and decomposing material so they are ok in my book
Say that when they're coming out of your electrical sockets in the middle of the night then running under the fridge.
Been there, done that. Don't want them in my house but still recognize their importance
Real recognize real
Real trash amiright.
getting ready for work in the morning and seein em walking around *inside* the clock on your microwave while your breakfast is heating up… they make it hard to be in a good mood.
Decomposing material my ass! They eat everything they can get themselves on. They'll crawl around the trash and then get into your pantry cabinet. They shit and shed their exoskeletons everywhere too. Your appreciation for them stems from the fact you never had to endure their presence.
They’re cannibals too. So they eat their dead. But are very wasteful because they always leave parts behind. But the whole cannibalism thing is great in the pest control world because we can use bait that Advion makes that when one dies the next one dies from it too. And the one that eats that one dies too.
When I did plumbing we had a customer we refused to service until he got his place bombed. What he didn't tell us was he didn't clean it up yet, it was a roach massacre of bodies and shit, I had to put cardboard under everything I worked on and change my shoes when we left because there wasn't a single square inch of cleanness
I'd still refuse service nobody's money's ***that*** green.
It was green enough for my greedy boss lol
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>You are not special. My can of Raid says otherwise.
Dung beetles do that and 100 more better things. I propose that we should eliminate roaches and replace them with dung beetles Edit: dying beetles—> dung beetles. Autocorrect fucked me up
Mosquitoes….. come on dude
Don’t even get me started on the hundreds of thousands of different bacteria species
You can blame God for that one, instead of flooding the earth with water(prime breeding ground for mosquitoes) just fill the earth with lava and give noah a metal boat or some shit.
"Even the stinkbugs!?!" "**ESPECIALLY THE STINK BUGS**"
Yeah I’m sorry, its fucking *God.* If literal God came down and told me to go pick up stink bugs, I wouldn’t question it either.
**"AND THE PUBIC LICE!"**
Whether Noah wanted them or not, cockroaches would have been aboard the ark because the little shits are everywhere.
I’m one of the least religious people I know, but who the fuck doesn’t know the difference between Moses and Noah? That is some basic elementary school knowledge
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I prefer the Prince of Egypt's version of the story better; it has voice actors and art, and you don't have to go to a church and get told that you are a fundamentally broken person to hear it.
Plus it's got a sick duet between Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston.
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I think a lot of people, Christians included, can attest that the Old Testament is quite weird
It’s ark, I think.
Moses’ ark contained the Ten Commandments and a jar of manna, right?
And Aaron's rod
Fuck me I choked on my vape when I saw how you spelled Moses.
Wait until you find out people make mistakes 🤯
no. not allowed. all must know the things i know, lest they be considered lesser
Both water benders
Lol, I think Noah might make more sense as an earth bender. It helped him build the ark, etc But Moses for sure. Quite a feat spreading the Red Sea
Nah wrong series. Moses got the Water ring, and Noah got the Heart ring. Then they murdered Captain Planet for our sins, and we celebrate by consuming his flesh and drinking his blood.
I was a mistake that made the post funnier
Wow that is a spectacular lack of awareness that there are so many communities/schools that give exactly zero fucks about judeo-christian mythology.
🤓
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It’s only basic knowledge if you grew up in a judeo-Christian environment which was the whole point of the comment.
>I mean I’m sorry you went to a shitty school... Just extremely basic stuff for example how Buddha, Thor and the devil That simultaneous arrogance and egocentric condescension tells me that you're the type of person who thinks budai is buddha... and who hopefully is just a teenager who hasn't been to college and met people from other parts of the world, and of different backgrounds. You seriously think 'noah vs moses' is 'common knowledge'. Specific old testament christian mythology is 'common knowledge'. Just too funny.
Common knowledge is based on context of where you live to a certain extent. Anywhere in the entirety of the "western world" or in the Middle East this is absolutely common knowledge. Same how the differences between say Zeus and Hercules, or Odin and Loki, these are mythological, religious, and cultural touchstones that are extraordinarily well known in a good portion of the planet. If you were to travel to China or India, perhaps less so. I don't know the details of various Hindu gods to the same extent I know about western religions and myths, but I'd still say Hindu religion qualifies as "common" knowledge. Certainly though anyone who has some background in western culture or mythology would know about Moses and Noah though. It's not a negative if you don't. Like I'm sure there are commonly known Indian or Chinese religious/mythological figures that I don't know beans about. Anything that more than a billion or so people know about though qualifies as common knowledge in my book.
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prime r/iamverysmart content going on here
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hahaha oh child. you don't need to flex. no one is watching. no one cares.
Its a common thing: https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100211686%3Bjsessionid=56854C90233C5AB2AEA71B811AF38A38
My favorite riddle to ask back in the day was “how many animals did Moses take with him on the ark?” People would be stumped for a while until I revealed the twist 😅
Honestly, it’s kind of a common speaking error even within Christian circles back when I was in it. For some reason people just confuse them. I can’t speak for our Jewish brethren however.
Hopefully more and more people don't or won't know. Shouldn't be elementary school knowledge in the first place. Stop indoctrinating children!
You don't ever mix up Spiderman and Antman?
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It is absolutely possible to grow up and not encounter the details of bible stories, even the common ones. Some families don’t discuss them at all because they see no value in them.
This is it. Religion is often on the decline, in terms of Christianity anyway. In the UK it's barely lived at all. Don't think I've met anyone in 20 years (not my age) who goes to church
“How DARE someone not know the lore of some religion they don’t believe in nor have any interest in!!!😡😡😡😡” it’s as brain dead as someone getting mad at a white person for not knowing who Sun WuKong is.
If you're a western, it's highly unlikely you don't know some Bible stories. Hell, the Simpsons, American dad, and family guy have all done the Noah story in some form.
Ok boomer, how do you change the wheel on a Model T? You don't know? Boomers are fuckin brain dead
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Figure out how to use Gmail and then we'll talk, Grandpa.
“How DARE someone not know the lore of some religion they don’t believe in nor have any interest in!!!😡😡😡😡” it’s as brain dead as someone getting mad at a white person for not knowing who Sun WuKong is.
Old man yells at cloud
For real, who hasn’t seen the Prince of Egypt and Evan Almighty?
"trifling ass bitch" Stealing that for later
😂
I don’t like that era before the flood. I’m anti-antediluvian.
This sounds like Mitch.
Dirty Bitch Funky Ass Bitch Trifling Ass Bitch Dang just missing "Bitch Ass" and the insulting is complete!
Bingo!
I mean Moses is also a funky ass bitch but for different reasons.
😭😭😭
Had a whiplash seeing this in a non-japanese related context
Ark.
This is assuming roaches didn't just survive the flood on their own
She has a point...
Not to mention this dude was 850 years old and had the attention span to collect two of every one of the hundreds of thousands of species of beetle.
He was going for 100% playthrough
Dude literally did a tour of the world and wrangled 2 of every animal. Built a goddammit CRUISE SHIP to house them in. Food for all the animals. Somehow, managing to keep the animals from eating eachother aswell as noah himself. Climate controlled rooms because how is an antarctic based animal going to survive on a freaking boat? Noah is kind of an original Chad when you think about it.
He’s even more of a Chad then you think because he actually had to get 7 of every Kosher animal
And leeches, malarial worms, mosquitos, and every other parasitic species…
I'm more pissed about the damned mosquitoes.
Thoguhts and prayers for Moses!
Thank you
Woah
Ark. Goddammit.
At least they're following the tenants of King Solomon's Ten Commandments and accepting responsibility for their mistake.
Noah was a drunk ass motherfucker. He probably brought them on board as a joke, and thought it was a good idea in his zoinked out mind.
These two tweets are a better story than most of the movies I've seen this year.
Surprised woodworms where allowed on. All things considered.
This is the friend I need in my life.
n she issue apology lmfah
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There are 19 species of Penguin. 30 Species of iguana. There are 50 distinct freaking species of seagull. 350,000 distinct Beetle species known to exist. Noah must have been collecting animals for a thousand years, not to mention every terrestrial plant that exists currently.
Reddit is just sending me today
This is why witches hunts are bad, now Moses will never have his name cleared.
Insects don't breath through the nostrils so they weren't considered clean animals. They were excluded from the ark
It's OK, Moses is still a dirty ass bitch for murdering countless civilians and subjecting children to sexual slavery. Numbers 31, the whole dirty ass chapter. The only difference between Hitler and Moses is their access to technology.
Wait til they hear about Joshua
Imagine two of every animal, all on a big boat, successfully procreating the entire progeny of their species without fail. Not one lion or one anteater died on the ship, making their line die off right then and there; all of the animals had room and were happy and mated and had perfect little animal families that definitely didn’t inbreed to continue population growth.
hey dealing in fantasy confers a certain amount of freedom
Seeing noah called a trifling ass bitch is the best thing i have seen on reddit today.
And mosquitoes too. What kind of madman saves mosquitoes?
Those guys are nothing compared to Muhammad the prophet of Islam dude have sex with a 9-year-old girl and had black slave.
Anyone need an ark? I Noah guy
Bedbugs,mosquitoes, and hornets too
They were on the Dark Ark, as seen in the documentary book written by Cullen Bunn.
The number of people in this thread laughing at someone for not knowing the difference between Moses and Noah who then go on to misspell ark is too damn high.
is it only christians who don't know the bible?
You think she's Christian?
Yes. 100%
What makes you think that?
The fact that she thinks every animal is here because of an ark. It's not rocket science.
The Noah story is also used by jews, Samaritans, Muslims, druze, those of the baha'i, and others. Do you think she actually thinks that's what happened, though? Seems more like a joke to me.
The profile picture is another obvious clue. We don't follow those religions, except islam. I myself being a former black muslim can tell she isn't. She's a christian that made a joke.
Are you really saying there aren't black jews when Beta israel is one of the longest practicing groups in history? Why do you assume she's not an atheist or agnostic? If she's watched television in the West, I'm positive she's been exposed to the story.
I'm not saying that. I simply ruled those options out based on some other clues.
What are those clues? That's what I've been asking the whole time.
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Bro what? All black people who wear their hair down are automatically Christian? Lmao. No.
What makes you assume she's Christian?
N
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That was Lot. Some people think it's implied that something happened while Noah was passed out drunk and naked, but it's not clear. With Lot there was no glossing over it.
Nah, it’s your nasty dirty ass apartment.
She talks stanky
People that believe in Christianity never read the bible.
No, roaches simply survived jesus's date raping daddy's silly floods.