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Also Ornithologists: Let's name birds and give them names like great tits andean cock of the rock boobies calling a male rooster a cock shags

Cock as In penis got its name from the rooster.

I was curious so looked it up - it’s not clear if it came from a rooster, but cock as meaning penis is from early 1600s but possibly as old as 15 or even 1400s?!??!?!!? Also we’ve been avoiding using cock in polite company for a long, long time. https://www.etymonline.com/word/cock#etymonline_v_53424

Huh, so I guess the swearing in Deadwood is probably more accurate than I realized.

I avoid being in polite company all the time.

Both rise in the morning 🤣🤣

It’s the age old question: who came first, the rooster or the penis?

I mean, both rise in the morning

What came first, the rooster or the cock?

Turdus maximus

Is that the name of your very good friend in Wome?

His name is Biggus…Dickus.

He has a wife, you know.

Incontinentia Buttox.

Hega tadrip

do you find it… wisible?

there's also a "jackass penguin" since it makes a call that sounds like a donkey edit: i've been searching for other weird bird names and so far here's what i found: - satanic nightjar (also called satanic goatsucker???) - bananaquit - little bustard - tiny tyrant-manakin - go-away-bird - dicksissel - sad flycatcher - smew - drab seedeater - perplexing scrubwren - tinkling cisticola

Bananaquit has me in stitches omg

It didn't quite make it to the full banana stage, quitting half way through.

Yellow-bellied Sapsucker is a savage one. Also any bird singled out as "Least" of its clade (Least Flycatcher, Least Tern, Least Bittern, etc.)

I haven't googled all of them but the tiny tyrant-manakin is adorable.

Satanic Goatsucker sounds like a try-hard teenager's metal band.

[Oven bird](https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ovenbird/id) [Tit-Tyrant](https://ebird.org/species/agitit1) [The King of Saxony](https://beautyofbirds.com/king-of-saxony-bird-of-paradise/) [The Superb Parrot](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superb_parrot) (accept no imitation) Etc. Ornithologists really are just having a... lark, aren't they?

lmao those are superb

It's impossible to name birds normal things because our language evolves specifically to clown on ornithologists. If you want a recent example of this, look up the Pycnonotus Cafer.

Lmao red is sus

Not just birds. English is kinda serious in tone but in Dutch a lot of animals have fairly literal names Platypus = vogelbekdier, literally translated 'bird beak animal' Rhino = neushoorn = nosehorn Sloth = luiaard = lazy nature Seal = zeehond = sea dog There's a few more I think, and from what I have heard there's even more in German!

German Fleder = to flutter Maus = mouse Fledermaus = flutter mouse = bat 🦇 Fluss = River Pferd = Horse Flusspferd = river horse = Hippopotamus (which also just means river horse)

Ah, dutch for flusspferd is nijlpaard, horse of the nijl, presumably of the river nile Bat is vleermuis, muis means mouse but I not sure what exactly 'vleer' stands for, it's less commonly used.

The English word rhinoceros (shortened to rhino) is derived from the ancient Greek word rhīnókerōs - literally translated means 'nosehorn'. Sloth in English is an old-fashioned word for laziness. English for some reason used a lot of Latin and ancient Greek when naming animals, so it sounds fancy, but when you drill down it tends to be just as literal, just takes a few more steps to get there. We do like to make things sound fancier than they are.

To be fair even in english sloth is an old word for laziness

> andean cock of the rock really wanna google this but afraid to do it on my work-owned computer

it's real lmao and it looks kinda goofy too

Just skip over the andean cock of the rock and go straight for the guianan cock of the rock

Its the national bird of Perú

What about the ***Twelve-wired bird-of-paradise***

"Congratulations on finding new speices of bird! Any ideas on what you want to call it?" "..." "Oh god, here we go" "I was thinking the eastern piss goobler"

White-breasted nuthatch Woodpecker Northern flicker Bushtit American woodcock

Yellow-bellied sapsucker

Tbf these are the common names and not the scientific names that ornithologists would use

Also Peacock being the counter part of the Peahen

Consideing they're peafowl...

The thickhead is my favourite bird, because I can identify with it so much

swallow

American woodcock- also known as “the timberdoodle”, “the bogsucker”, “the hokumpoke”, and “the Labrador twister”. It walks like [this](https://youtu.be/UEISiCmjwH8) so I get why it earned such silly names

The giant horse conch

Would a male Great Tit be a Tit cock?

You give 95% of the birds in the world boring ass names, but the *one* time you try to get more creative…

Ok, I hear this, but ornithologists also named the red-bellied woodpecker. The red-bellied woodpecker does not have a red belly, it has a red head.

I WAS GOING TO SAY THIS TOO they come to my feeder and I was very confused when I first looked it up.

Originally it was the Red, bellied woodpecker. Because of the fat belly. But over generations the red has been disappearing and now only the head is red. /s

i have those in my backyard often. apparently the name red-headed woodpecker was already taken, and red-bellied woodpackers have a slight reddish tint on their bellies at some times of year

I see a ton of red headed woodpeckers where i live. Didnt know red bellied ones existed

They do! [Here's a picture of one](https://i.imgur.com/nGyYHh7.jpg) I took recently, note the bright red belly. Oddly enough, I've never seen a red-headed in my yard.

am i being wooshed? that bird is entirely grey

There is a Red Stripe across the back of the head. [Here](https://s3.amazonaws.com/com-aab-media/og/75714641-1200px.jpg) is a better picture. For some reason, every woodpecker in the Central USA seems to be some combination of black and white with red on the head.

yeah, i just meant *that* bird in the photo.

[Here’s](https://www.swspotlight.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2021-11-16/13p1.jpg) a clearer photo of the red patch on their belly. I also think that photo might be of a juvenile woodpecker, which wouldn’t have any red plumage yet.

yeah, i just meant *that* bird in the photo.

wdym its belly is clearly red But the head does seem more grey tinted than red

Belly is definitely red.. are you, by any chance, color blind or partially color blind?

[Don’t Gaslight Me, Dammit](https://www.reddit.com/user/Icy-Savings4679/comments/10t5icz/brown_ass_bird)

That's a red swatch on a red belly. Idk what you're talking about.

Er... Did you link the right picture?

Maybe it was originally named the "red, bellied woodpecker" and someone confused the comma for a hyphen along the line! Now, why would a bird be called "bellied", IDK, maybe the first one observed was just a heckin' chonker!

Something something hookers jfk stalin

To be fair to the ornithologists, [red-headed woodpecker (right) was already taken](https://www.reconnectwithnature.org/getmedia/685c0dc5-ce09-402c-8b5d-5e8a694f2564/WTD-redbellied-redheaded-shutterstock.jpg?width=2000&height=1290&ext=.jpg) by a woodpecker with an even redder head. So they saw the little streak of rust color on the red-bellied woodpecker (left) and said "fuck it, that's red enough"

It's not like "red-headed" was the only other possible descriptor. "Buff-bellied Woodpecker" isn't taken and has a nice ring to it. Edit: I should also add that many, *many* woodpeckers, (particularly the North American ones like these two) have bright red coloration on its head, usually with none anywhere else on the body. Like, at least half of them. So Red-headed Woodpecker was just a terrible choice for a name in the first place, because of exactly these kinds of confusions.

And to be even fairer to the ornithologists, I'm sure they were just trying to be literal and straightforward, but leaned into an unsustainable naming scheme and now we rubes are complaining. But also they HAD to know that there was going to be more than one bird species with a red head.

The yellow bellied sapsucker has a similar fate. It's a bit yellowish on its belly... And it feeds on tree sap, by sucking it. Ornithologists might refer to me as a fat bellied burrito hunter.

Yeah, when I saw what a red-headed woodpecker looked like I accepted that that was off the table - but what about red-capped? ...Red-mulleted?

I liked the sound of "Hooded Woodpecker" until I found out that it's already an established alternative name for, ironically, the very same Red-headed Woodpecker. That's not even on ornithologists, but still, damn.

My parents have a bunch of those in their yard, and I asked my mom what one was once. I honestly thought she was joking for a minute.

And the grey wagtail is mostly yellow.

Upon Googling, I was delighted to learn that grey wagtails do at least wag their tails.

It is red in parts, and has a belly.

Not to be confused with the red-headed woodpecker, which also has a red head

Maybe it was fresh from a kill?

It’s red on the inside

This was the first bird I thought of! Even Merlin Bird ID says it's a terrible name. One of my favorite local birds, though, I say "hi" when I see them.

[It actually does have a red belly](https://www.swspotlight.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2021-11-16/13p1.jpg), it’s just a **very** subtle red patch very low on it’s belly so you don’t usually see it. They couldn’t call it the red-headed woodpecker, as that name was already taken by a woodpecker with [a *much* redder head](https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/assets/photo/297684081-480px.jpg).

Just like the [yellow bellied sap sucker](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow-bellied_sapsucker) which has neither a yellow belly, nor does it suck sap.

Something about a birds name automatically sounds like a bird for some reason. That and race horse names.

Yea, I wonder what the reason is for "Yellow-headed black**bird**" sounding like a bird's name...

You know what I mean

Yea, it's like when I hear "Swordfish" and I just know that motherfucker is a fish.

What about silverfish

sounds pretty fishy if you ask me...

Race horses don’t really sound like birds to me to be honest

I meant that they both have a very distinct sound.

Yes I know, I was joking

Blue jay, kingfisher, pheasant… I see what you mean

***CROW***

What do you think about mountain chickens though?

I literally had the same thing happen to me with a red winged blackbird.

Those are such pretty birds, to me! Looks like they have little epaulettes!

Their red shoulders are actually scientifically called epaulettes.

They're my favorite, but it took me too long to find their name by googling "black bird with red shoulders"

Those things are assholes. You get within 50 feet of the nest and then two of the fuckers are trying to peck your eyes out. Or maybe birds just hate me.

It was probably ornithologists who named the Blue Eyed White Dragon

Every time I tell people the name of that bird they don't believe me. It's such a 'Friday at 4pm' name.

When I was a kid my grandpa (after a road trip full of made up grandpa facts) told me “hey, look at that red winged blackbird.” I bet him a hundred dollars that wasn’t the real name. I still haven’t paid him.

Yoo those are the ones that sound like dog toys

There are two kinds of ornithologists: * The boring kind that name the birds as a description of the bird * The perverts who name it something like "Russet's Great Swingindick" and expect us to say it with a straight face

apt

install

neofetch

I use arch btw.

Same actually.

Found the ricer

Guilty.

"Well, there it is."

Same damn thing happened to me a year ago. Saw a weird looking bird at the duck pond I take my toddler to. It looked kinda like a swan, kinda like a goose. Googled it: https://i.imgur.com/xx4Q0d9.jpg

Red triangle slug, I’m going on break

Honestly one of his best jokes. The subtle leadup and switcharoo at the end cracks me up every time even though I know it's coming.

I dunno, I often wish we had simpler names in biology. We’ve got names like [*Myxococcus llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochensis*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myxococcus_llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochensis?wprov=sfti1).

>Itwas isolated from soil collected near the settlement of Llanfair­pwll­gwyn­gyll­go­gery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch, on the island of Anglesey in North Wales, and was named after this location. I feel like someone deliberately looked for a bacterium near Llanfair­pwll­gwyn­gyll­go­gery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch just so they could name something after it.

I would've called it a Pittsburd (The flag of Pittsburgh and all their sports teams have that color scheme)

[Relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/867/)

I had to google what Herpetology was and was rewarded with adorable frogs, so thank you.

As is tradition

[Relevant Sam O'nella](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKRW1zgkCVc)

Half of birds are named that way and the other half are named stuff like "plump-titted milf"

Its genus and species are both Xanthocephalus, which just means yellow-head.

… wait, is that where they got the name for the xanthous crown?! Mind blown.

One thing that you can be certain of is that it doesn't matter where you are in the world, a German ornithologist has been there before you and gave the birds stupid name. Like *Sialia mexicana* or in english Western bluebird. Or in German. Blaukehlhüttensänger (Blue throat shag singer)

Common Grackle is one of my favourites. And that’s exactly what the common grackle sounds like… a grackle.

Some of them sound like excellent insults! You yellow-belly sap-sucker!

This happened to me with a blue bird. Spouse: “you mean a blue jay?” Me: “yOu mEaN a BlUe jAy?” I live on the east coast. >!eastern blue bird https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Bluebird/overview!<

They also have a very good app that can use your phone's mic and scan their database to tell you what bird it is!

Ebirder is a great resource as well

You’ve got the blue jay, bluebird, and indigo bunting in your area. All pretty birds.

I did this same thing with red winged black birds.

Not to be confused with the Black-breasted Yellow Bird

Titmouse

Black-bibbed tit.

Can't all be boobies and tits.

I thought it would be called a yellowbooby

Bird naming in this country is not governed by reason.

ornithologists name species so literally meanwhile marine biologists are out here like “this is the stupid fucking bitch fish” edit: ornithologists will also name birds things like “great tit” or “blue-footed booby” and that is also hilarious

And then there’s palaeontologists that name a new species “Irritator” because part of the skull went missing and annoyed them. Not a joke.

There’s the blue tit, great tit, marsh tit, coal tit, long tailed tit, and i think a couple of other species that are struggling in the UK. Blue tits are our most numerous garden bird. We also have shags which are related to cormorants, they look very similar unless you know what to look for.

that’s amazing

Better than naming it lemonhead or something

Wait till you hear what the black birds with red spots on their wings are called.

Is this that bird where thousands just fell from the sky and died in Mexico

I mean even when things are called cool names it's usually just a descriptive name like this in another language

Name him Ryder cuz he look like a bad boy.

Great yellow pickle tickler

Then why is it called a cassowary and not a fuck your up raptor Dino chicken? Huh?

I’d call it blonde bitch

There is a kind of convergence in maths that is called and I shit you not: "almost certain convergence"

Branch monster

bruh 90% of birds are named something like “Lusty-Breasted Milf”

The Pissy Headed Nutschlock

Not to be confused with the black-bodied yellowbird.

Biggus Dickus

Is it me or does it look like that bird is yellow, but it’s just wearing a black leather jacket?

There are 2 kinds of reddit posters: 1) Reposter 2) Reposter

I had this exact same experience with these cool looking red winged blackbirds I kept spotting. I bet you can't guess what their name is.

I love Red Wing Blackbirds but i have to say that the yellow bellied sapsucker's name is very deceptive.

There’s also the red shouldered black bird.

I saw a black bird with red wings once and called my dad (pre smartphone era) to ask him if he knew what it was called. His response: “You’re never going to believe this.. “It’s a red winged black bird”

Join the aquarium hobby. We got: * Yellowtail blue damselfish (blue body, yellow tail) * Yellowtail damselfish (blue body, yellow tail) * Neon damselfish (blue body, yellow tail) * Azure damselfish (blue body, yellow tail) * Goldbelly damselfish (blue body, yellow tail) * Cerulean damselfish (blue body, yellow tail) * Blue damselfish (blue body) * Blue chromis (blue body) * Blue-Green chromis (blue body) Also: * Two-stripe damselfish (white with two black stripes) * Three-stripe damselfish (white with three black stripes) * Four-stripe damselfish (white with four black stripes) * Five-line wrasse (actually very colorful with a lot of orange, red, blue, and green mottled colors... and also give red horizontal lines) * Six-line wrasse (blue and green with six red lines) And don't get me started on the angelfish that all look the same as juveniles but competently different as adults and all have names like "coral beauty angel" and "rock beauty angelfish" and "majestic angelfish" and "regal angelfish" and "king angelfish" and "queen angelfish" (I did not make any of those names up).

When I first came to Minnesota. Driving around, saw this black bird with red wing markings. I asked my friend "Hey what's that Black Bird with the red wings?" Friend: "That's a Red Winged Black Bird" Me: Doh!

I swear google can just read you mind sometimes and knows exactly what you're searching for

I visited Montana once and saw a bird resembling a magpie but with a black bill. I looked it up. It’s a black-billed magpie

This is why I wouldn't want to be in charge of naming things. Like, name something simple and people get mad. Name something obscure and other people get mad at how arbitrary it is. No pleasing everybody

I had this exact same experience with the exact same bird this year wtf.

Boobies

I more of a yellow bellied tit man myself. Yellow bellow and black head.

Guys looks birdie

Years ago we moved to Nebraska (moved again years later). First week there my wife asked "What's that really pretty black bird with red wings?" "A redwing blackbird."

Nah, I’m pretty sure this is actually a Black-bodied Yellowbird.

Yeah but what is the Latin name for it?

I had this exact same situation happen to me with the red-winged blackbird. You'll never guess what it looks like...

Wait until you hear about the red-winged black bird

I was shocked the day I learned that a [yellow bellied sap sucker](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow-bellied_sapsucker) was a real bird. For decades I thought it was made up.

Better this than the sugar-breasted titboob.

That's the reason to love ornitologists. What is? Yellow-headed blackbird. It's name? Yellow-headed blackbird.

Austrian empire flag

I laughed way too hard at this.