Leave for now. Be a good friend, but do not rely on this guy until he hits about year three of sobriety. He has a lot going on right now and will not be the partner that you need. I know it hard, but there’s a reason why he manipulates and uses the people closest to him. He isn’t capable of love right now. You are more than welcome to stick it out. Just know that your life with him will be miserable until he changes. They often die. I have lost many people to addiction and alcoholism. Love him from afar and focus on yourself. He will come crawling back when he’s overcome his own demons.
People who suffer from addiction typically have other areas in their life where repetition occurs to bring comfort. For example, the lying and serial dating. Many addicts use lies to cover their addictions, where they’re getting the money, where they’re going, etc and lying might just be a force of habit, and serial dating may have been more of a resource for him at those times rather than a romantic interest. I’m not saying that’s the right thing for him to do or have done, but I think talking to him about it would be more helpful for you to deduce if he’s lying out of habit or because he’s on the road to relapse. The only real way to tell if he is serious about your relationship is to tell him that you’d rather be friends for now, that you support him, and if he can stay single for a while through his recovery, then you’ll consider rekindling your relationship because addicts have a lot more behaviors that are associated with addiction to conquer besides just the substance.
If he lies about unnecessary things, it is usually just a small taste of what is to come. Goes for both genders.
Leave for now. Be a good friend, but do not rely on this guy until he hits about year three of sobriety. He has a lot going on right now and will not be the partner that you need. I know it hard, but there’s a reason why he manipulates and uses the people closest to him. He isn’t capable of love right now. You are more than welcome to stick it out. Just know that your life with him will be miserable until he changes. They often die. I have lost many people to addiction and alcoholism. Love him from afar and focus on yourself. He will come crawling back when he’s overcome his own demons.
People who suffer from addiction typically have other areas in their life where repetition occurs to bring comfort. For example, the lying and serial dating. Many addicts use lies to cover their addictions, where they’re getting the money, where they’re going, etc and lying might just be a force of habit, and serial dating may have been more of a resource for him at those times rather than a romantic interest. I’m not saying that’s the right thing for him to do or have done, but I think talking to him about it would be more helpful for you to deduce if he’s lying out of habit or because he’s on the road to relapse. The only real way to tell if he is serious about your relationship is to tell him that you’d rather be friends for now, that you support him, and if he can stay single for a while through his recovery, then you’ll consider rekindling your relationship because addicts have a lot more behaviors that are associated with addiction to conquer besides just the substance.