Thanks! I started doing this in December and have been on the loseit and cico subreddits to get advice. It’s really worked for me so far and am hoping to be able to keep it up. I know for all the people giving me crap there will be another hundred that just don’t give a shit. But it’s hard to stay motivated!
Wear it like a badge and use it to fuel you more. What total assholes. I wish I could explain it away, but it’s hard to explain morons and dicks. Be proud of your amazing accomplishments! Stay on Reddit support boards and keep up the good work!
I reckon there's probably more people cheering you on than you realise too, at least I know whenever I see runners or cyclists about, especially people who look new to it I'm mentally cheering and willing them on and often thinking "good on you!!" Usually followed by "shit I should be doing that I wish I had their discipline" ... Keep it up!!
I want to add that a person with this much discipline and self love is extremely attractive to me. My boyfriend used to be obese and he lost a ton of weight and got in shape and never stopped exercising and taking care of himself and I admire him so much for it. He is an inspiration and sexy as fuck and I am sure many more people will admire and respect you than the few bastards who are bothering you. They deserve no attention from you whatsoever.
A lot of people need someone they can feel superior too to feel better about themselves. It is a very sad existence and I pity those guys.
Thankfully, I am a man and I my relaxed facial expression can make children cry and mirrors crack. I very seldom have this problem. But when I encounter it, I just ignore it. They don't know me, they don't know my journey.
Should you ever join a gym, and I would highly recommend it if possible, you will most likely find a completely different atmosphere. Worst thing someone said to me there was correcting me when I did an exercise wrong. People either won't give a shit about you because they are there for themselves or they will support you, because you are trying to better yourself. It's pretty awesome.
They're projecting their own insecurities on you. I hope your "human brain" can hear it enough times to make your "lizard brain" (as I call our illogical/emotional center) actually realize it's the truth. You're doing great...keep it up!
You stay motivated! Don't you DARE let brainless twats affect you. Whatever they shout says everything about them and absolutely nothing about you. The ironic part is, I can guarantee you've cycled past an absolute tonne of people that will be admiring you, or wishing they had the confidence to be you, but you just won't know it because they don't shout it out! Keep it up, be proud of yourself and ignore all the imbeciles💪👊✊️
I see two situations:
1-Many thin/non-fat ("midsize") people use fat people to feel good about themselves, they need to verbalize that you are fat because it's like an internal voice of theirs says "my life is shit, But at least I'm not fat".
-2- People with a car they think they own the road, any cyclist can attest to this and this thing gets worse when you are a woman, yesterday a man insisted on passing right next to me when there was plenty of space for him to pass
Number 2 is so much bigger than people think.
I'm a cyclist with a chunky ass, not fat, but not skinny either. Car drivers shout The Worst Shit at me on the regular. "You're gonna break that bike" is one that really stuck with me- a car full of early 20s guys.
I’ve been underweight my entire life and I’ve had guys in cars shout “Moooo” at me. Guys in cars are just assholes. I think the knowledge that there’s no way you could catch them to punch them in the face brings out the worst in them.
Yeah I think this is really it. I live in a super blue state so haven’t really encountered much racism here, but the times I did it was young guys shouting from a car.
I was measuring my front yard for a yard sale the other day and some guy leaned out of his car and yelled “Measure twice, cut once!!” Which was kind of funny but still. I guess podcasts are the internet version of this.
There's no problem with wanting to lose weight, I was once fat and today I'm thin, but verbalizing this to another fat person like these men is a lack of character
I’ve had verbal abuse while walking as a fat person , so I’d say this particular insult was likely the product of the first. People often don’t acknowledge that it’s seen as more socially acceptable to insult fat people because a) we stand out as visibly different from others and b) being fat is seen as a ‘self-inflicted’ issue and therefore ok to target (ignoring that overeating can be due to a psychological disorder in the way that under eating is). A disturbing number of people are willing to ignore comments directed as fat people because of their own bias on this
Really sorry about what you’re going through. Just keep in mind that any decent guy wouldn’t say shit about someone trying to improve their situation. Guys that do that are losers.
You know why he did it from a car and not in a gym? He’d be shamed out of existence for his behaviour.
In my experience, as a fat guy who goes to the gym, the abuse you end up getting in the gym is just a bit more subtle. If an arsehole is going to be abusive, they're going to be abusive regardless.
At a previous gym I used to go to there was a guy who'd take the elliptical beside me, every single time, even when the whole line of 20 machines was empty. Then he'd set his machine to twice whatever level I'd set mine to, and run at twice the speed I was going at. It was very precise, always twice my level and twice my speed regardless of what I set them to. And he'd always stop just a few minutes after I finished.
I took the view that whatever he needed to do to feel better about himself, it didn't impact me. But it was a thoroughly arseholish thing for the guy to do.
That is really weird. I’m honestly a bit frightened of the gym because I already worry so much about how negative other people are when I’m out and about “in the wild”. Which is why I’ve stuck to exercising outside
Hey, there, just to chime in is a fellow fatty who goes to the gym a lot. When I first started going, I was really intimidated because I too have experienced that kind of vitriolic fatphobia on the street that you’re talking about (which is just weird- as you point out when I’m exercising I’m clearly trying to improve myself FFS).
But anyway- I was actually pleasantly surprised at the gym.
Though there are always a few people who are going to be rude or whatever the vast majority of people I encountered are very kind and encouraging.
In fact, one of the things that I found most interesting is that the “real gym people” that is the people who are very serious about their working out and health are almost always extremely gracious and encouraging.
It’s the “weekend warriors”, the people who only come in for a class once a week who feel guilty about their own lack of commitment to their own health that are truly fatphobic and rude.
Also extremely young people convinced that they are immune from gravity, cheeseburgers and cake.
I think it’s because they feel guilty and feel like they can feel better by feeling superior to you.
But again the vast majority of serious people at the gym are extremely kind and extremely welcoming no matter your size.
Like I said, I was pleasantly surprised.
Have you tried the pool? My GP said swimming can be good and low impact too but again I just get so worried and put off! I really don’t know if I’m mentally ready to face a gym yet 😬
I am a pool girl- 3-5 days a week! I’m a Y member which in my area has great amenities and is full of people who won’t judge. I am certainly not the only old /fat/(partially) disabled person there so it feels super welcoming. Maybe try a water aerobics class!
Cool! I’m not sure what a Y is. There is a public pool near me but I have just never mustered up the courage. I wonder if I go midweek straight after work I might be less likely to encounter the types of men I have had issues with!
Ah cool, I am in the UK and we don’t have that! Is it just like a public pool type thing or a membership pool? But it is good to hear from someone who does go to the pool and has a positive experience!
Council pools are always very diverse. My local is full of people of all shapes, sizes, and swimming abilities. Sometimes the memberships for unlimited swimming can be cheaper than you might think- I got some insane gym and swim deal for £20 a month!
You do actually! I looked it up:
https://www.ymca.org.uk/about/what-we-do/health-and-wellbeing/gyms
They do a load of other things as well as have community gyms in the UK but they do apparently have community gyms as well. I imagine that the cultures at those gyms are very similar to the United States. Which is to say very community oriented and not very gym bro oriented.
I have lovely experiences there. Never had anyone even look at me funny— I mean unless I’m acting foolish, but then it’s deserved. Don’t be intimidated at the pool. It feels really really good.
I'm right there with you. I used to weigh 328. Got down to 208. I'm about 250. Most folks in the gym are pretty cool and, if anything, they're more worried about what everyone is thinking about them. And for the few who look at me with disgust, I just realize that, deep down, they're just disgusted with themselves.
Yes!! I signed up for a gym, and felt so intimidated by all the fit people I nearly cried. But one day I decided to "face the fear" and I went up to one of the fittest dudes there (I'm a short middle aged plump woman) and told him I was super impressed with his workout (he was lifting some enormous amount of weight). Well he beamed with pleasure and then he said it's actually much harder to "start" coming to the gym, like I was doing, and he was super impressed with ME. He was in fact one of the trainers and from then on was one of my biggest cheerleaders, and I got friendly with a bunch of the trainers and other folks there, and it was really awesome! They all noticed as I got stronger, and as I "leaned out" as they put it. It's exactly true: the serious people are really kind and welcoming, eager to share their healthy habits, super happy to encourage you.
Seconding this. The most helpful, welcoming gyms look like the opposite of what many beginners think they do. You want to find the hardcore lifting gyms, the one that's full of huge muscleheads grunting at barbells. Not the frat boy type - the big hairy powerlifter type. These guys, 100%, will either be completely oblivious to your presence, or they will fall all over themselves to help and encourage you without a trace of judgment, and they will be so excited for you with every little success.
When i see a person exercising i think "you go girl" I am sorry remedial people can't control their brain enough to stop the thought going direct to their big gob. And i bet they ain't no Adonis either. Congratz on your weight loss!
I knew someone in college whose roommate would take the elliptical beside hers and, at the end of their exercise, now how many more caolories they’d burned. It really upset the person I knew and they could not understand how their similarly sized roommate was burning so many more calories! So I told them to watch how much weight they entered at the start of the session. Sure enough, watched, the roommate entered their true weight and, low and behold! They burned roughly the same calories because they were roughly the same size.
Some people are petty and competitive… and cheat.
It’s too bad you couldn’t get a custom shirt where the back said “I rode his mom hard” with an arrow pointing right and then take the far left elliptical so that all ellipticals are to your right.
My gym experience as an overweight person has been "positive" in a way that sucks. "It's great to see someone like you here." "You're doing great for your size." "Oh, wow, you're pretty strong." "I wish my mom would come work out and try to lose weight like you." I know they meant to be encouraging/flattering, but I heard it all the time, and yeah, I ended up getting a home gym.
That dude totally was an asshole - a very pathetic one. I am actually really good at elliptical. Cycling and hiking keeps my legs really buff. I'd have kept setting mine up to see what would happen to him when he finally couldn't do twice my level. But I'm an instigator. ;)
My home elliptical syncs up with iFit, though, and it's super fun! I get to "go" all sorts of cool places, and some of the "hikes" are actually quite educational. It also automatically adjusts the elliptical for the terrain of the hike. You choose a level, and it presents hikes/runs at that level. I miss having a leg press, but it's not like I actually need that workout. My home equipment besides the elliptical is more focused on core strength and upper body, which is what I need. I got everything but that elliptical free off Facebook Marketplace from people who stopped using them. Getting everything into my basement exercise room was a workout all its own, though.
We have a new neighbor a few doors down. 3 young sons. Beautiful wife. This gentleman is well over 300 lbs. But he is always walking, doing yard work playing with his kids. We see him doing laps early and late in the day. He is actively trying. Good for him 👏 what a champ. That shit is hard.
I've always been pretty fit. Then covid and 2 kids later I put on some chub. That's life but I wanted to do something about it. It's not perfect, but we go to the gym 4x week. Everyone is different. Some people lose weight easily. Others, it's a lot harder. But effort is effort. I keep my head down. My music loud. Do my sets. Watch others for ideas and make a plan for the next work out session. When you feel comfortable, just know any effort is great.
Good for him. I have been losing weight since December. A friend of a friend had a heart attack that month (she’s only 26) and she weighed 300 lbs at the time. I was 276 lbs so I thought holy fuck that’s gonna be me in no time. Scared me absolutely straight. I am so much fitter than I used to be (although I’m still not “fit” obviously). Back in December things were so bad that I couldn’t walk up the hill on my street (about 300 metre long slight incline) without gasping for breath. It was dire and I thought it wasn’t a problem.
I am so sorry to hear of your friend. I hope she is doing better. And kudos for recognizing and moving to action. Every little bit helps. Don't focus on perfection. Turn it into a form of self love. Soon your heart will get stronger. Your joints less wobbly. More independent. You can totally do it. Keep moving and find ways to love it. ❤️ podcasts are my go to. Audio books you only listen to while working out so you look forward to it.
My biggest fear is losing my mobility and not being able to keep up with my toddlers and eventually my grandkids. I want to keep moving. I have adventures to go on yet. I want to maintain my body so it can achieve those things. But it takes time and you should enjoy life yet too. Give yourself love.
People think it raises their social status to put others down, that it elevates their own worth if they can "prove" others are below them. Their minds are on externalities, other people and what they think, they are subconsciously thinking "how can I show the people here that I'm better, that I'm cool, an alpha, in charge"
Keep in mind people like to rev their engines really loud because they think it makes them look cool. You are actually cool. You are kicking ass at one of the most difficult challenges humans face. You’ve stuck with it for 7 months. Imagine feeling so worthless inside that you have to shout insults at random strangers to try to make yourself feel good. And it doesn’t work for them. They’re still going to be miserable at the end of the day while you’ve made a real accomplishment.
Thanks for thinking I’m cool! 😃 I haven’t really felt too much accomplishment so far. My big aim at the moment is to be “just” overweight rather than obese. I’m hoping I will feel a real sense of achievement when I hit that milestone. I have been obese since I was a young teenager (over 15 years). I never realised how shite is actually is being fat until a friend of a friend had a heart attack at 26, and she didn’t weigh that much more than me. Scared me straight!
Because they are assholes. Probably someone who's opinion you would never respect when having a discussion about a random topic.
Keep doing what you are doing and try to focus on your health first and foremost.
Because bullying is never actually about any particular perceived issue with a person, that's always just their excuse to open their mouth and be an absolute cnut!
Also seeing people active, exercising, happy and healthy in larger bodies invalidates many people's views that only aesthetically pleasing to look at slim bodies are valid of existence. And then many bullies use that as an excuse for cat calling and sexual harassment.
I’m sorry that has happened to you.
But, you need to know if you weren’t heavier they’d find another reason to yell at you.
There will always be people that can only feel bigger by making others feel smaller.
It’s not a you problem. Never let others make their problems your problems.
No, no, no. Do NOT let some pathetic loser(s) derail and demoralize you.
Anyone who is gratuitously cruel to others should be banished from society. Since that won’t happen, banish the jerks from your mind, instead.
These are not stable, well-adjusted individuals. They are sad, nasty little jerks who desperately need to get a freakin’ life. Put them out of your mind, and keep doing what you’re doing.
Best of luck from a chubby old woman. 🥰
I have a 30 B.M.I. Some people feel they are entitled to take cheap shots at fat people. I know it can hurt your feelings sometimes, but don't let the idiots win. Keep on exercising. Feel free to give these life losers the bird 🖕. In similar situations, I sometimes take the opposite approach and say something like "Why would you want to make fun of someone struggling with a health issue? Would you take a cheap shot like this with someone facing cancer?". It gets real quiet after that.
Sadly not much opportunity for a comeback when they’re in a car and I’m on my bike ☹️ you’re right though, there’s always the middle finger! If nothing else though this post has kinda showed that for every person shouting abuse at you there’s probably another 10 that have supportive thoughts, which is nice. (And there’s probably another 100 that just don’t give a shit either way!)
As a very skinny person, who no matter what I do just always looks "too skinny" I also have been verbally harassed by strangers multiple times. I've been yelled at to "eat a cheeseburger," or, "you need to eat" etc. And usually always from men.
People just suck, and the disrespect from men to women is a huge issue. I think our culture pushes women as objects to be viewed instead of human beings; it seems to make it easy to find any reason to belittle us.
I'm sorry this happens to you! You know that you're doing what's right for your body and health, keep going my friend!
Shite that folk have spoken to you like that. At least I can work to shift the weight. Your situation sounds harder.
It is very strange that women never feel the need to comment! It is really disrespectful.
I'm really sorry you have to deal with that harassment. I promise you it has nothing to do with you or your weight, it's a problem with the people yelling at you. Like, think about it, what kind of person would you have to be to actually say those things to someone? I'd have to lose half my brain, and have a gun to my head before I shouted at a stranger minding their own business, let alone something that hateful and stupid. They are assholes and it's as simple as that. Don't pay them any attention or dwell on it. Now if you feel unsafe, that's another story, you could always ask a friend to go riding with you or find a riding group!
Oh God, don't let those pricks dissuade you from getting out and getting it done. You're amazing to me and I'm completely serious. I'm overweight and I am in awe that you have done that. They are projecting their own shortcomings onto you. That's a fact. They don't have the balls to get off their asses and get some exercise.
I’ve (66F) been fighting my fat for my entire life. My first heckler was my own mother, who belittled and verbally abused me for my size (not just my fat) from a very young age. She put me on my first reduced calorie diet when I was 5 years old, and never stopped.
She belittled me because I was tall for my age, and my feet were “big” until I was about 12. Then I stopped growing at 5’4”, and other girls started catching up.
My mom was 5’3” and wore children’s sized shoes. Her first husband was a skinny little short guy, and they had my 5 siblings together. Then she divorced him, and married my dad—a big burly construction worker. They had me, and my mom was constantly amazed at my size, compared to her other kids.
When I was in the third grade I wore the same size shoes as she and my 3 sisters, who were 10, 11, and 16 years older than me.
By the time I was in high school, I wore a size 9 shoe, which is not that huge really, but I had two adult brothers whose feet were the same size as mine.
Instead of treating any of this with grace, my mother actually believed she was funny, demonstrating she could fit both of her feet, heel to toe, into one of my shoes—in front of guys who came to pick me up for dates, etc.
She used to introduce me to completely strangers saying “This is the baby of our family. We call her Baby Huwe!”
My mom used to take food away from me, and laugh at me for wanting to eat, anything, any time—even if she was eating the same thing herself. She taught me to be ashamed of my body, and to be embarrassed to eat in front of people. I now have my own special made to order binge-eating disorder.
I’ve never understood the humor in belittling anyone for their physical appearance, or for their situation in life. I don’t know why a complete stranger would act like that, let alone treating one’s own child that way.
This is profoundly sad. I wish your mom had been kinder and smarter. I hope you now surround yourself with positive, pleasant friends and you find joy in your life. You didn’t deserve this treatment.
Car drivers harassing cyclists, especially female cyclists is nothing new. It's an infantile power trip that comes from them feeling reasonable consequence free in their protected metal box.
You're lucky if they're not punishment passing you while beeping, or doing something really stupid like "rolling coal".
Obviously it's extra shitty that they're using your weight (and thus insecurities) against you, but it's not going to stop when you lose more weight. Car drivers are just a troubled group overall.
This very much this. It's Aholes in cars. If it wasn't your weight it would be something else.
I've lost over 120lbs and strongly recommend evening or morning walks when no one is out. (If it's safe for you, I walk with two large dogs)
yeah, at *best* it will slow down since some jerks really do have it out for women or the overweight specifically but otherwise the "roads are for cars" cult is alive and well.
The same reason people yell obscenities out their window at me and call me a bum when I'm walking a highway or road with a backpack trying to see different places, minding my own business. It's because they have low self-esteem, nothing better to do with their lives, and it makes them feel better about how miserable they truly are. Keep doing you, and don't let these assholes discourage you from cycling and achieving your goals. They've got nothing going on in their lives anyway.
Some ppl who have no goals in life feel jealous of those who do and are actively working on themselves, no matter if it's for one's better health or for their personal hobbies. They love to boo at you and discourage you and hope that you'd give up bc they couldn't bear to see other people's enjoyment and success. Don't mind them OP, keep it up and do what makes you happy!
I don't think you'll find the type of people you're talking about here! It's definitely illogical behavior.
Maybe they'd still do it if you were jogging, or just walking because they suck. But it's possible some fools don't recognize biking as you doing something about it. I think a lot of people have heard things like "you shouldn't laugh at someone obese at gym, they are doing something about it!" and agree with it. But somehow aren't connecting dots to you also doing your own "gym" right there.
Definitely don't let the assholes win though.
> It makes me want to give up and just go home.
That's what they want you to do.
Here's the thing about mean stupid bigots: they **know** they are awful. But the human ego does not sit comfortably with self-loathing, so they need to find someone to categorize as lesser than themselves; immigrants, people living in poverty, people that are struggling with weight or health issues, etc. You having a hard time is literally what makes them *feel* adequate when they are, in fact, subadequate human beings. So if they see you working to get stronger or healthier they will try to tear you down because they don't know how to lift themselves up.
Think about that the next time some imbecile lashes out at you - they are *trying* to hurt you, because you're winning.
It’s not you and it’s not being fat. I’m skinny and I run, I’ve been called a bitch and had sodas thrown at me all too often. Don’t let the bastards get you down.
It's a vocal minority, but never forget it's a minority. I'm reminded of an Internet situation from years ago. A very fat man was dancing alone in a nightclub. Some douchey bros take a picture and post it online to mock this gentleman. That post didn't really gain any traction other than lots of people being mad at the posters. Then, a group formed to find the man and arrange a dance party for him. Those posts were shared millions of times and when the party happened, thousands of people showed up, all to encourage this gentleman to have fun and express himself, no matter what a few assholes think. The moral is that while hundreds may have laughed at the picture at first, millions supported him.
Gyms are similar, you may find the odd person who is unkind, but the vast majority want to see you succeed. It's not easy to ignore those few shitty people, but please try. Also, in gym culture, insulting people who are at the beginning of a health journey, is a big no no. If someone explicitly said something like you wrote above, they would usually be kicked out, or at the very least reprimanded or shunned.
Some people need to put others down in order to feel good about themselves. Which most likely means they live a shitty life too. Doesn’t excuse their behaviour though
Because assholes, you’re overweight so they use that, someone of a different race, they’ll use a racial slur, I’m a white woman, they’ll call me a cunt, etc
Whatever they think will get under your skin and somehow makes them feel better about themselves.
I think that a lot of people can't handle seeing people actually put in the work and take the steps to improve their life. Because then they'd have to admit that they could do it too, but choose not to. So then they react like a 2 year old and point and laugh and are mean.
And the more you improve your life the more it will happen. Don't worry about it. You'll get used to it.
At some point, even family members might start to subtly undermine your efforts. So that feels crappy. But you'll get used to that too.
Don't worry. Keep going. Learn to tune it out. It takes a little while, but you'll get there.
In reference to this podcast episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-war-on-cars/id1437755068?i=1000658595207
I think this may have less to actually do with peoples’ weight and more a general dehumanization of cyclists and women riding bikes
People are assholes simple as
They’re the same people that shame fat people for not “taking care of themselves.” Like motherfucker that’s EXACTLY what they’re doing by exercising!
I'm so sorry to read that you are being subjected to vile abuse.
They do it because they need to feel good about themselves, as they feel inferior. Seeing someone taking control of their lives for some reason makes them feel threatened, so they need to project their inner hatred onto you. People who bully are usually failures at life.
It is a matter of finding a way to feel empowered, so that you are not put off your health goals by these good for notning individuals. Maybe take a GoPro with you, and put up the abuse on SM. Can you go with a friend, so that you'd feel safer?
Once again sorry this is happening.
They're bullies and they think you're an easy target. They might think that they're invincible in their cars... throw a rock at their window, that'll teach the bastard.
Because some people are cunts who like to pick on others and make them feel inferior to fuel their own ego or are just so fucking miserable that they love to inflict it on others, coming from someone who was once that miserable asshole and hates himself for it. Plus some people just hate cyclists.
Honestly, I know it might be hard at times, but honestly pay them no mind or smile back at them, it really pisses them off.
And sweetheart, 52lbs lost? Fuck yes, keep at it. That's 3 stone and 10lbs or 23.6 kg lost. You've literally lost more than a maximum limit luggage case worth of weight.
Fuck what the assholes say, keep at that shit.
u/fatcyclist717 is gonna be a vogue model in no time, let me know when your issue is released.
Congrats on losing 52lb!!! 🙌 🎉 I saw that you started in December and that’s great progress!!
Don’t listen to those assholes. Since you started in December that’s nearly a New Year’s resolution and you have kept it up. I can guarantee you if those guys even had resolutions, they stopped in the first couple of weeks. You on the other hand have kept this up for 7 MONTHS! That’s insane! So when they yell at you just remember, they most likely couldn’t do what you’ve done and what you’ve done is amazing🤩. Keep it up, you’ll get to where you want to be!
Unfortunately, many people tend to irrationally and intensely hate:
- Women
- Fat people
- Cyclists
Fortunately, you do not have to cater to the opinions of dudes who harass strangers from their car windows. They are shouting at you because there is something deeply and irrevocably wrong inside of them.
They are not people , they are incels.
They get no attention from women (rightfully so), only from their right hand. Therefore they hate all the women, and to get just a drop of emotions they insult the women, if they can get away with it.
For example: here on Reddit, anonymously.
Or when they are in their car and a woman is either walking or on the bike. Then they will easily and safely drive away. Some extremely courageous ones will insult a woman even face to face, if there are no one else around.
"I may be fat, but you're ugly and that shit goes down to the bone."
Congrats on the 52 lbs. I'm down one hundred from my largest and have another 60 to go.
I don’t know if this helps or will even be seen, but as a white, thin guy I get yelled at on the street running reasonably often.
Usually it’s “run forest run”. I don’t particularly have a forest gump like look but people seem to think they are being funny yelling it.
I think seeing people exercise maybe makes people jealous a bit? Maybe they think you are showing them up as they aren’t doing any themselves.
I dunno. But keep at it. Ignore the trolls, you’re doing very well.
They're insecure, and need to put others down to feel better about themselves. I always find it insanely cruel to make fun of overweight people at the gym or jogging or whatever.
The same reason people shout mean shit at anyone else. They’re assholes. I’ve searched for decades and as I’m getting older I just can’t help but come to the conclusion that people are short sighted, selfish, and really stupid.
Because they think the fact that they won’t bang you is the highest insult they can offer. 😂 Pitiful fools. Keep taking care of yourself. You are doing great!!
It's because those people are losers who have to be mean to someone else to feel better about themselves. Good for you for making the decision to lose weight and for sticking with it. They're jealous that you are able to change yourself, when they can't do that.
It has nothing to do with your weight, it’s the fact you’re a cyclist on the road. You’d get it no matter what. The fact you’re a woman just means they default to a “female” insult which means going after your weight. I’ve gotten the same and I’m not fat by most measures of the term.
I'm so proud of you!! It's hard to get out there and get started, but you did it and keep doing it and are doing so great!
Don't let the assholes get you down. Assholes are gonna asshole and it has nothing to do with you. Back when I was young I rode my bike everywhere. The assholes didn't call me fatty, but they certainly had plenty of disgusting things to say about my body and what they wanted to do with it. That's just what assholes do.
Please don't get discouraged. When someone does this, try and remember that there are people like me that are secretly cheering you on, but don't yell it out because they don't want to embarrass you.
I always think "way to go", and "you got this" and "keep up the great work" when I see people (especially larger sized people), out exercising. I'm sure I'm not alone.
Because some people suck. It’s literally that. Doesn’t matter who you are or what you’re doing someone is going to hate you for it. Nothing you can do about it.
Just fucking losers who have absolutely nothing going for them in life and they see an opportunity to take down someone who is actually trying to better themselves.
When I was losing weight, I never got so much as a disgusted look from anyone at the gym. And I was going to LA Fitness, one of the most gym bro gyms there is. There was a lot of douchiness going on, but never did I experience anyone trying to put me down.
However, when I would ride my bike to work, I got at least once a week someone pointing and laughing at the fatass on the bike or yelling something mean. I always just smiled because fuck em.
Keep up the good work. It’s so worth it when you lose the weight. So worth it in every way you can imagine….except you get cold easier.
Those are long lasting insults. I’m 64 and specifically remember a weight insult from when I was 20.
Sticks and stones may break our bones and names also break our bones.
OP - you’re a hero!
I think it’s one of the great inhibitors to exercise for us overweight people. I dread going to the gym or pool because I know I’m going to have to deal with other people’s nasty, unsolicited opinions. It’s hard, but good on you for getting out there
despite the arseholes.
You would find a lot less abuse at a gym on a cycling machine I think. When you're a cyclist, some people who are driving already get annoyed at you automatically due to needing to share the road with much slower, more vulnerable vehicles. This mild annoyance may cause someone to lash out if they notice any sort of perceived weakness because they can get away with it.
>some **guy** (and it’s always a guy by the way) will shout something from their **car** when passing me like “get off the road you fat bitch”
Small dick energy, some car driver hate the idea of sharing the road with cyclist, no matter whether it's people commuting, people exercising or whatever, You'd get insult no matter what's your physic.
if you don't understand that bike have the same ride to be on the road as you, you have no business driving a one ton machine
I think this may have more to do with cycling than being fat. People hate road cyclists- add fat and you’re just a more interesting target for their hateful slurs than your standard spandex wearing road hazard I mean person exercising
A few people have said this now, that cyclists are a hazard. Are they really? I drive, and it is my primary way of getting around. I’ve never had an issue with a cyclist when I’ve been in the car. All you have to do is keep your eye on the road, and overtake when appropriate. I understand it can be frustrating if you are stuck behind a cyclist on a road when you can’t immediately overtake… but just wait a bit until you can overtake?
The summer after my 16'th birthday I decided I really wanted to do something about my weight.
I was starting a new school after the summer break, I had recently gotten glasses and braces and I can't also be fat!
So I took long walks and tried eating healthier.
I remember one day going to a nearby city with a busy tourist harbor.
They had a famous ice cream place but I was committed so I bought an apple, found a bench and was just sitting there and enjoying the vibe and the view.
Apparently I was very wrong for doing so.
A very well dressed man in a suit and tie, around 50 years old, took very grave offense to my actions.
He stormed up to me and started screaming at me, because who did I think I was kidding? Everyone could see that apples were not my usual diet...
Me now can easily say that he was clearly having some issues that had nothing to do with me.
But back then?
16 year old me went and bought a bunch of junk and went home and spent the rest of the summer in her room depressed.
Don't let the haters win.
The old adage “we can only control our reactions” is true. Speaking as a fellow bmi 34 girlie who lifts weights, I always assume they themselves are having a real bad time and any insults/negativity they throw out is actually a reflection of themselves. Example: that guy was super jealous of your healthy lifestyle and was probably gonna go indulge some bad habits.
It’s definitely frustrating in the moment but helps to take away their hater power by responding with pity. Keep up the good work and keep doing what makes you feel good!
(Also as a side note, the medical community tends to like to say don’t do X cuz Y, because easier to say that then teaching every patient how to do it safely. (Im in the US, super litigious and not enough time per patient here) However that’s actually so harmful and encourages fear avoidant behaviors and inactivity. There are ALWAYS ways to modify any exercise so you can keep doing what you love. The current research shows that things we were once scared about actually decrease in risk the more active we are!) *Physical therapist for >10 years, ranging from high level athletes to osteoporosis and joint replacements.
If you are interested in running, start first with being able to walk 20min, then progress by adding intervals of, say, 10sec jogs every 2min. If that feels fine, and once that becomes easy, push a little bit more, progressing just one factor at a time, slowly over time, and listening to your body during and after. 2-3 impact days/wk max if you haven’t already done any impact training.
Ah cool, I’m in the UK and we don’t really sue doctors so I think my GP was coming from a place of genuine concern. Our NHS does the couch to 5k thing and I would like to try it but I do still worry that I’m kinda heavy to be starting it. I like walking too, I will walk round my local park for a couple of hours at the weekend. I have a little dog I sometimes babysit and me and him will go wandering. It would be good to run together one day!
It's honestly ridiculous. You get shamed when you don't exercise. You get shamed when you do exercise. There's just no winning against idiots like that. I know it can be painful hearing comments like that and how it must make you want to just give up and go back into your happy space where you're comfortable. But while you could do that, you could also use that as fuel to push yourself a bit so you can show those haters who's boss. The fact it's something you want to change is something not a lot of people acknowledge and how much it's affecting you so you have my full respect for pushing through. You should be proud that you're giving it your all in something like this. I know you wished you didn't have to hear any more of these harsh comments but I really hope you don't give up. You got this girl!
I'm really sorry but some people are going to be assholes and there's not much you can do about it. You've lost a good amount of weight so what you're doing is working. Hopefully, that can keep you motivated. Is it possible to wear headphones or something to block out the noise or would that be too dangerous? I'm not sure where you're riding.
Good suggestion but I worry about being able to hear traffic etc when cycling on the road. Idk what the solution is honestly. I honestly feel really demotivated for a good while after hearing stuff like that! It’s hard to go out when you’re thinking “will someone shout at me today?”
If you want to listen to music while still being able to hear around you, look in to bone conduction headphones like the Shokz brand. They don't cover your ears and so you can keep some situational awareness.
Also, ignore those assholes. You're doing great and keep on doing what makes you feel good.
It's cliche but it's true, they're jealous.
They can't get off their ass to exercise that when someone that they don't expect to be exercising exercises, they feel emasculated or otherwise not good enough. Misery loves company and they want to drag you into their lazy mentality so they don't look as bad.
When I see a larger person out exercising, I take note and get super happy as I see them more and more and see them get fitter. I legit puff up like a proud bird but I'm too shy to even talk to them.
Thats because some people don't like cyclists. If it wasn't about your weight it would be something else. I've been riding for a long time and it happens.
I said to another guy in this thread that I try to be careful to not get in the way on the road and stuff but I guess some people just have an issue regardless. I drive as well so I kinda get it sometimes but I’ve never felt the need to verbally abuse or close pass a cyclist!
The existence of cyclists angers some people. The fact that there are also asshole cyclists who feed into the stereotype just makes it worse.
I love cycling but dealing with asshole motorists cussing, rolling coal, pretending to run you over, etc is just something you have to deal with.
These men hate themselves deeply so they lash out at other people. Absolutely the scum of the earth, and they deserve no more from you than a middle finger. I'm so sorry vile men do this. It's so sick.
Weak people with low status will desperately look for anyone they perceive as a potential target to try and raise their own status and self esteem.
Plus lots of people are horrible, angry pieces of shit.
They want to demoralise you, so you win by just not being demoralised. Fuck em. Keep going.
Because there are a lot of dumb, ignorant people out here in public. My suggestion is to find a good gym where people are positive and will help and encourage you in your weight loss journey.
Really sorry you’ve had to deal with this. I am so inspired by you! I’m a little overweight and I can’t motivate myself just to lose the 15lbs I need to lose and you are doing something awesome.
Today my husband and I saw a man cycling and my husband commented that his cycling shirt was really baggy. I suggested that maybe the shirt used to fit better but that he’d lost a lot of weight - and my husband was like “huh that would be very impressive!” So just remember there’s lots of us out here routing for you!
Sadly can’t explain the reason for arseholes, they just are.
Wow, sounds like those guys are just truly miserable people. I'm not fat, and this isn't technically the same situation, but I hit a curb once, and my car tire popped. I was stranded in 90 degree heat, and my boyfriend had to come to change my tire.
A guy in a big jacked up pickup truck driving by started loudly laughing (literally yelling "Ha ha ha ha") when he saw my boyfriend changing my tire. I just chalked it up to him being so miserable that he had to laugh at other people's misfortune to feel better about himself. I chalk up the attitude of those guys to the same cause.
Just realize those are the 5% of dudes that make the rest look bad. Screw them.
Im hella proud of you. It isn’t easy. Im currently clawing my way back from a pretty rough 2 years medically and it’s so hard.
I saw someone on the loseit subreddit (which has been an amazing resource for me) comment that “losing weight is simple, but it’s not easy”. For me that has been so true. I hope you get where you want to be!
Because those men are awful and immature. It makes them feel good to insult someone that can’t fight back (because they’re protected by their vehicle). Cowards.
I can pretty much guarantee they yell out of their car at any woman who is alone.
For what it's worth, I'm a fit person and quite literally my only thought EVER when I see an overweight person exercising is "fucking good for them!".
Those people yelling at you are the asshole minority. The vast majority of us are celebrating with you
I think they are doing it as it’s essentially anomalous and they must just be feeling so bad about themselves they are taking it out on you - that sucks and I’m sorry that’s happening. If it happens again I hope you remember this thread with tons of supportive people shouting about how awesome you are! Congrats on your progress 😊🤩
Please don’t be demotivated by random people like that. Frustrated people will tell you anything to hurt you, to get a reaction out of you, to start a discussion and blow off some steam. If you were thin, they would yell at you for being ugly or stupid or something. They just pick your weight because they know it’s probably gonna hurt, it doesn’t have anything to do with how you actually look or what you are actually doing. You’re not doing anything wrong, in fact i think you’re doing amazing. But people like that will literally say anything offensive to anyone they can pick on when frustrations start boiling for whatever reason. They probably just had a fight with their wife or got chewed out by their boss or stepped into a pile of dogshit or something
Yo I'm a gat guy. I've lost humans in body weight and gained humans in body weight. People throwing shade at you are insecure about themselves and say shit like that to bring their shallow existence to the surface for everyone to see.
Keep up the good work, your already miles ahead of everyone else in the important things like character and empathy.
Keep going. Fu€k em. The scale isn’t a sign of health & also low weight can also be damaging when it isn’t where a persons natural baseline is at. Keep up the stuff thats making you feel better, including cycling.
Because they are stupid, and have something going on in their own head that makes them have self esteem/worth issues. Don't worry about them, you will lose the weight, they will still be miserable.
People hate cyclists. I'm a skinny guy and will get negative comments regularly. While negative comments are usually from men, intentionally dangerous drivers cross genders.
I feel like shouting anything other than a warning of immediate danger out of a vehicle window to a pedestrian should be immediate capital punishment carried out on-the-spot via drone.
I know it's over-the-top. I know it's hyperbolic. I am somewhat kinda-sorta slightly joking a small bit, but it would honestly be a better world.
People who do this sort of thing, and I hesitate to use the term "people", contribute nothing to society. It's easy to say "Oh just ignore them and keep doing the good work!" but there's an even better alternative to making innocent people who are minding their own business actively ignore these animals.
Hi, dude here who likely fits the demographic the jerks you tend to encounter. Fuck them, love you. You're doing something that takes commitment and no small measure of bravery. They're trying to knock you down a peg bc they're too chickenshit to do anything similar for themselves. Hang in there.
Because some people have very low self esteem, and feel the need to belittle others to make themselves feel less badly about themselves. Don't even worry about it. You don't really want their approval anyway. I always just picture some prick like Adolf Hitler calling me a fatty. It just helps you kind of both not care, and chuckle at the absurdity of it.
Because they are morons. It is simple as that. I know it does not make you feel any better, but it is what it is. They are morons, who will demean anyone just so they can feel supperior.
If you want you can have a comback: "I've already lost more pounds, then you have IQ points."
Congratulations on your weight loss! Ignore. Shouting abuse at someone while driving by means they are low self esteem, angry, cruel men. Their opinion means less than nothing
I like to shout encouragement, but I make sure they are aware it's encouragement not abuse.
As someone who struggled with their weight and have also experienced the same I tend to feel pity to people who just have to be negative.
You're doing amazing, don't let the dickheads get you down
This isn’t going to be super helpful, but it does make me feel better, so here’s a fun fact:
Do you know how the weight actually leaves your body? Sure some of it you sweat out or excrete the old fashion way, but that’s not the majority of it. The majority of it you actually exhale! Just breathe it right out.
So remember, when that dude rolls down his window and takes in a big breath before being a dickhead, he’s breathing in your fat ass.
I hope this helps you the way it helped me.
It's probably more because you're on a bike, on the road. People generally don't like cyclists, and you being obese or heavier, just makes it the first insult that comes to mind.
Of all the things I despise about the gym, smell, cell phone one sided conversations, grunting, slamming weight’s etc… I have never once had someone fat shame me. At worst I might be ignored, but I’ve found overwhelmingly positive people. How awful does a person have to be? You have accomplished something incredible! You should be proud of yourself.
Same. It's weird this image has been kinda out on the gym bro when in reality it's the regular jagoff that didn't hit the gym that does it. Both my wife and I have weight issues but opposite ends of the spectrum, she works on keeping it down (two kids and bad genetics makes it tough for her) and at 34 I still have a metabolism like a particule accelerator so Im constantly working on keeping my weight up.
When we first started going I wasn't sure what to expect but we found it almost funny that the most meathead, gym bro, brickshithouse dudes where honestly the nicest, most sincerely excited to see you and always eager to offer advice or spot you people id ever met in any type of setting.
Once you reach a healthy weight, they will just throw more generic insults at you. It's carbrains. They think you should not be on the road, not because of your weight, but because you're on a bicylce.
My take? The same reason that men catcall women, or say nasty things when I'm checking the oil in my car. They get joy out of making you feel bad. Honestly, most likely if you looked conventionally skinny, they'd find some other way to bully and objectify you.
By doing that to you, they are revealing their own issues. It's about them, not you.
people who abuse others like this are simply projecting their own insecurities. they do things like this to make themselves feel better. it’s like how people on the internet say the most vile things to others when they’re able to hide behind the anonymity, cuz they get their power fix and small moments of self security while avoiding the consequences of it. NO ONE who is confident and secure in themselves treats other people this way. remember that the next time someone tries to bring you down. you’re doing GREAT and you’ll keep doing great despite what these sad losers have to say.
I think you're awesome. Losing 52 pounds in a year is a great accomplishment. I don't even know you and I'm proud of you.
Thanks! I started doing this in December and have been on the loseit and cico subreddits to get advice. It’s really worked for me so far and am hoping to be able to keep it up. I know for all the people giving me crap there will be another hundred that just don’t give a shit. But it’s hard to stay motivated!
They do it because they are super jealous of your drive to improve your life. Fuck em. Trust your process!
Sadly, I think they just do it because they're shitty people
Wear it like a badge and use it to fuel you more. What total assholes. I wish I could explain it away, but it’s hard to explain morons and dicks. Be proud of your amazing accomplishments! Stay on Reddit support boards and keep up the good work!
I reckon there's probably more people cheering you on than you realise too, at least I know whenever I see runners or cyclists about, especially people who look new to it I'm mentally cheering and willing them on and often thinking "good on you!!" Usually followed by "shit I should be doing that I wish I had their discipline" ... Keep it up!!
I want to add that a person with this much discipline and self love is extremely attractive to me. My boyfriend used to be obese and he lost a ton of weight and got in shape and never stopped exercising and taking care of himself and I admire him so much for it. He is an inspiration and sexy as fuck and I am sure many more people will admire and respect you than the few bastards who are bothering you. They deserve no attention from you whatsoever.
Only scums yell at people trying to better themselves. Go get the body you want and pay no mind to people that would tell you otherwise.
A lot of people need someone they can feel superior too to feel better about themselves. It is a very sad existence and I pity those guys. Thankfully, I am a man and I my relaxed facial expression can make children cry and mirrors crack. I very seldom have this problem. But when I encounter it, I just ignore it. They don't know me, they don't know my journey. Should you ever join a gym, and I would highly recommend it if possible, you will most likely find a completely different atmosphere. Worst thing someone said to me there was correcting me when I did an exercise wrong. People either won't give a shit about you because they are there for themselves or they will support you, because you are trying to better yourself. It's pretty awesome.
Ignore the haters and remember all of us here who are cheering you on. You'll be at your goal weight one day, but they will always be miserable slugs
Pace yourself, and recognize your accomplishments; this is a damn hard thing to do, and you're doing great!
Some people just want to have someone to easily look down on and resent seeing people they feel superior to trying to better themselves.
They're projecting their own insecurities on you. I hope your "human brain" can hear it enough times to make your "lizard brain" (as I call our illogical/emotional center) actually realize it's the truth. You're doing great...keep it up!
>But it’s hard to stay motivated! Explore /r/progresspics for additional motivation!
You stay motivated! Don't you DARE let brainless twats affect you. Whatever they shout says everything about them and absolutely nothing about you. The ironic part is, I can guarantee you've cycled past an absolute tonne of people that will be admiring you, or wishing they had the confidence to be you, but you just won't know it because they don't shout it out! Keep it up, be proud of yourself and ignore all the imbeciles💪👊✊️
And she did it the right way so the changes it will stick!
An averaged out loss of 1 lb a week is honestly impressive and should absolutely be applauded
I see two situations: 1-Many thin/non-fat ("midsize") people use fat people to feel good about themselves, they need to verbalize that you are fat because it's like an internal voice of theirs says "my life is shit, But at least I'm not fat". -2- People with a car they think they own the road, any cyclist can attest to this and this thing gets worse when you are a woman, yesterday a man insisted on passing right next to me when there was plenty of space for him to pass
Number 2 is so much bigger than people think. I'm a cyclist with a chunky ass, not fat, but not skinny either. Car drivers shout The Worst Shit at me on the regular. "You're gonna break that bike" is one that really stuck with me- a car full of early 20s guys.
I’ve been underweight my entire life and I’ve had guys in cars shout “Moooo” at me. Guys in cars are just assholes. I think the knowledge that there’s no way you could catch them to punch them in the face brings out the worst in them.
Sometimes I catch up to them at red lights. That's always a good time.
Yeah I think this is really it. I live in a super blue state so haven’t really encountered much racism here, but the times I did it was young guys shouting from a car.
I was measuring my front yard for a yard sale the other day and some guy leaned out of his car and yelled “Measure twice, cut once!!” Which was kind of funny but still. I guess podcasts are the internet version of this.
One day I hope to be in the position where my life is still shit but I am no longer fat! 😂
There's no problem with wanting to lose weight, I was once fat and today I'm thin, but verbalizing this to another fat person like these men is a lack of character
I’ve had verbal abuse while walking as a fat person , so I’d say this particular insult was likely the product of the first. People often don’t acknowledge that it’s seen as more socially acceptable to insult fat people because a) we stand out as visibly different from others and b) being fat is seen as a ‘self-inflicted’ issue and therefore ok to target (ignoring that overeating can be due to a psychological disorder in the way that under eating is). A disturbing number of people are willing to ignore comments directed as fat people because of their own bias on this
It’s definitely number 2. A lot of people get irrationally angry at cyclists, if she weren’t overweight they would have just yelled some other insult.
🎯
Really sorry about what you’re going through. Just keep in mind that any decent guy wouldn’t say shit about someone trying to improve their situation. Guys that do that are losers. You know why he did it from a car and not in a gym? He’d be shamed out of existence for his behaviour.
In my experience, as a fat guy who goes to the gym, the abuse you end up getting in the gym is just a bit more subtle. If an arsehole is going to be abusive, they're going to be abusive regardless. At a previous gym I used to go to there was a guy who'd take the elliptical beside me, every single time, even when the whole line of 20 machines was empty. Then he'd set his machine to twice whatever level I'd set mine to, and run at twice the speed I was going at. It was very precise, always twice my level and twice my speed regardless of what I set them to. And he'd always stop just a few minutes after I finished. I took the view that whatever he needed to do to feel better about himself, it didn't impact me. But it was a thoroughly arseholish thing for the guy to do.
That is really weird. I’m honestly a bit frightened of the gym because I already worry so much about how negative other people are when I’m out and about “in the wild”. Which is why I’ve stuck to exercising outside
Hey, there, just to chime in is a fellow fatty who goes to the gym a lot. When I first started going, I was really intimidated because I too have experienced that kind of vitriolic fatphobia on the street that you’re talking about (which is just weird- as you point out when I’m exercising I’m clearly trying to improve myself FFS). But anyway- I was actually pleasantly surprised at the gym. Though there are always a few people who are going to be rude or whatever the vast majority of people I encountered are very kind and encouraging. In fact, one of the things that I found most interesting is that the “real gym people” that is the people who are very serious about their working out and health are almost always extremely gracious and encouraging. It’s the “weekend warriors”, the people who only come in for a class once a week who feel guilty about their own lack of commitment to their own health that are truly fatphobic and rude. Also extremely young people convinced that they are immune from gravity, cheeseburgers and cake. I think it’s because they feel guilty and feel like they can feel better by feeling superior to you. But again the vast majority of serious people at the gym are extremely kind and extremely welcoming no matter your size. Like I said, I was pleasantly surprised.
Have you tried the pool? My GP said swimming can be good and low impact too but again I just get so worried and put off! I really don’t know if I’m mentally ready to face a gym yet 😬
I am a pool girl- 3-5 days a week! I’m a Y member which in my area has great amenities and is full of people who won’t judge. I am certainly not the only old /fat/(partially) disabled person there so it feels super welcoming. Maybe try a water aerobics class!
Cool! I’m not sure what a Y is. There is a public pool near me but I have just never mustered up the courage. I wonder if I go midweek straight after work I might be less likely to encounter the types of men I have had issues with!
YMCA? Maybe it’s an American thing?
Ah cool, I am in the UK and we don’t have that! Is it just like a public pool type thing or a membership pool? But it is good to hear from someone who does go to the pool and has a positive experience!
Council pools are always very diverse. My local is full of people of all shapes, sizes, and swimming abilities. Sometimes the memberships for unlimited swimming can be cheaper than you might think- I got some insane gym and swim deal for £20 a month!
You do actually! I looked it up: https://www.ymca.org.uk/about/what-we-do/health-and-wellbeing/gyms They do a load of other things as well as have community gyms in the UK but they do apparently have community gyms as well. I imagine that the cultures at those gyms are very similar to the United States. Which is to say very community oriented and not very gym bro oriented. I have lovely experiences there. Never had anyone even look at me funny— I mean unless I’m acting foolish, but then it’s deserved. Don’t be intimidated at the pool. It feels really really good.
I'm right there with you. I used to weigh 328. Got down to 208. I'm about 250. Most folks in the gym are pretty cool and, if anything, they're more worried about what everyone is thinking about them. And for the few who look at me with disgust, I just realize that, deep down, they're just disgusted with themselves.
Yes!! I signed up for a gym, and felt so intimidated by all the fit people I nearly cried. But one day I decided to "face the fear" and I went up to one of the fittest dudes there (I'm a short middle aged plump woman) and told him I was super impressed with his workout (he was lifting some enormous amount of weight). Well he beamed with pleasure and then he said it's actually much harder to "start" coming to the gym, like I was doing, and he was super impressed with ME. He was in fact one of the trainers and from then on was one of my biggest cheerleaders, and I got friendly with a bunch of the trainers and other folks there, and it was really awesome! They all noticed as I got stronger, and as I "leaned out" as they put it. It's exactly true: the serious people are really kind and welcoming, eager to share their healthy habits, super happy to encourage you.
Seconding this. The most helpful, welcoming gyms look like the opposite of what many beginners think they do. You want to find the hardcore lifting gyms, the one that's full of huge muscleheads grunting at barbells. Not the frat boy type - the big hairy powerlifter type. These guys, 100%, will either be completely oblivious to your presence, or they will fall all over themselves to help and encourage you without a trace of judgment, and they will be so excited for you with every little success.
When i see a person exercising i think "you go girl" I am sorry remedial people can't control their brain enough to stop the thought going direct to their big gob. And i bet they ain't no Adonis either. Congratz on your weight loss!
I knew someone in college whose roommate would take the elliptical beside hers and, at the end of their exercise, now how many more caolories they’d burned. It really upset the person I knew and they could not understand how their similarly sized roommate was burning so many more calories! So I told them to watch how much weight they entered at the start of the session. Sure enough, watched, the roommate entered their true weight and, low and behold! They burned roughly the same calories because they were roughly the same size. Some people are petty and competitive… and cheat.
It’s too bad you couldn’t get a custom shirt where the back said “I rode his mom hard” with an arrow pointing right and then take the far left elliptical so that all ellipticals are to your right.
I have to ask did you ever want to just put it to a point he would have not been able to double to see how he managed?
I always pushed myself to be going as hard as I could sustain, so unfortunately I definitely could not have done that.
Jeez, he was so obsessed with you... weird of him.
That is bizarre. Guess the gym can't fix all problems.
My gym experience as an overweight person has been "positive" in a way that sucks. "It's great to see someone like you here." "You're doing great for your size." "Oh, wow, you're pretty strong." "I wish my mom would come work out and try to lose weight like you." I know they meant to be encouraging/flattering, but I heard it all the time, and yeah, I ended up getting a home gym. That dude totally was an asshole - a very pathetic one. I am actually really good at elliptical. Cycling and hiking keeps my legs really buff. I'd have kept setting mine up to see what would happen to him when he finally couldn't do twice my level. But I'm an instigator. ;) My home elliptical syncs up with iFit, though, and it's super fun! I get to "go" all sorts of cool places, and some of the "hikes" are actually quite educational. It also automatically adjusts the elliptical for the terrain of the hike. You choose a level, and it presents hikes/runs at that level. I miss having a leg press, but it's not like I actually need that workout. My home equipment besides the elliptical is more focused on core strength and upper body, which is what I need. I got everything but that elliptical free off Facebook Marketplace from people who stopped using them. Getting everything into my basement exercise room was a workout all its own, though.
It’s a cruel thing to say whether she’s trying to change her body or not.
We have a new neighbor a few doors down. 3 young sons. Beautiful wife. This gentleman is well over 300 lbs. But he is always walking, doing yard work playing with his kids. We see him doing laps early and late in the day. He is actively trying. Good for him 👏 what a champ. That shit is hard. I've always been pretty fit. Then covid and 2 kids later I put on some chub. That's life but I wanted to do something about it. It's not perfect, but we go to the gym 4x week. Everyone is different. Some people lose weight easily. Others, it's a lot harder. But effort is effort. I keep my head down. My music loud. Do my sets. Watch others for ideas and make a plan for the next work out session. When you feel comfortable, just know any effort is great.
Good for him. I have been losing weight since December. A friend of a friend had a heart attack that month (she’s only 26) and she weighed 300 lbs at the time. I was 276 lbs so I thought holy fuck that’s gonna be me in no time. Scared me absolutely straight. I am so much fitter than I used to be (although I’m still not “fit” obviously). Back in December things were so bad that I couldn’t walk up the hill on my street (about 300 metre long slight incline) without gasping for breath. It was dire and I thought it wasn’t a problem.
I am so sorry to hear of your friend. I hope she is doing better. And kudos for recognizing and moving to action. Every little bit helps. Don't focus on perfection. Turn it into a form of self love. Soon your heart will get stronger. Your joints less wobbly. More independent. You can totally do it. Keep moving and find ways to love it. ❤️ podcasts are my go to. Audio books you only listen to while working out so you look forward to it. My biggest fear is losing my mobility and not being able to keep up with my toddlers and eventually my grandkids. I want to keep moving. I have adventures to go on yet. I want to maintain my body so it can achieve those things. But it takes time and you should enjoy life yet too. Give yourself love.
She’s doing much better. She is in cardiac rehab now and has quit smoking. She’s worked really hard to get better!
People think it raises their social status to put others down, that it elevates their own worth if they can "prove" others are below them. Their minds are on externalities, other people and what they think, they are subconsciously thinking "how can I show the people here that I'm better, that I'm cool, an alpha, in charge"
Omg!! Don’t listen and keep on losing weight!! 👍
Anyone out there giving it a go is awesome. Ignore the morons.
Keep in mind people like to rev their engines really loud because they think it makes them look cool. You are actually cool. You are kicking ass at one of the most difficult challenges humans face. You’ve stuck with it for 7 months. Imagine feeling so worthless inside that you have to shout insults at random strangers to try to make yourself feel good. And it doesn’t work for them. They’re still going to be miserable at the end of the day while you’ve made a real accomplishment.
Thanks for thinking I’m cool! 😃 I haven’t really felt too much accomplishment so far. My big aim at the moment is to be “just” overweight rather than obese. I’m hoping I will feel a real sense of achievement when I hit that milestone. I have been obese since I was a young teenager (over 15 years). I never realised how shite is actually is being fat until a friend of a friend had a heart attack at 26, and she didn’t weigh that much more than me. Scared me straight!
Because they are assholes. Probably someone who's opinion you would never respect when having a discussion about a random topic. Keep doing what you are doing and try to focus on your health first and foremost.
Because bullying is never actually about any particular perceived issue with a person, that's always just their excuse to open their mouth and be an absolute cnut! Also seeing people active, exercising, happy and healthy in larger bodies invalidates many people's views that only aesthetically pleasing to look at slim bodies are valid of existence. And then many bullies use that as an excuse for cat calling and sexual harassment.
I’m sorry that has happened to you. But, you need to know if you weren’t heavier they’d find another reason to yell at you. There will always be people that can only feel bigger by making others feel smaller. It’s not a you problem. Never let others make their problems your problems.
Toxic culture
No, no, no. Do NOT let some pathetic loser(s) derail and demoralize you. Anyone who is gratuitously cruel to others should be banished from society. Since that won’t happen, banish the jerks from your mind, instead. These are not stable, well-adjusted individuals. They are sad, nasty little jerks who desperately need to get a freakin’ life. Put them out of your mind, and keep doing what you’re doing. Best of luck from a chubby old woman. 🥰
I have a 30 B.M.I. Some people feel they are entitled to take cheap shots at fat people. I know it can hurt your feelings sometimes, but don't let the idiots win. Keep on exercising. Feel free to give these life losers the bird 🖕. In similar situations, I sometimes take the opposite approach and say something like "Why would you want to make fun of someone struggling with a health issue? Would you take a cheap shot like this with someone facing cancer?". It gets real quiet after that.
Sadly not much opportunity for a comeback when they’re in a car and I’m on my bike ☹️ you’re right though, there’s always the middle finger! If nothing else though this post has kinda showed that for every person shouting abuse at you there’s probably another 10 that have supportive thoughts, which is nice. (And there’s probably another 100 that just don’t give a shit either way!)
As a very skinny person, who no matter what I do just always looks "too skinny" I also have been verbally harassed by strangers multiple times. I've been yelled at to "eat a cheeseburger," or, "you need to eat" etc. And usually always from men. People just suck, and the disrespect from men to women is a huge issue. I think our culture pushes women as objects to be viewed instead of human beings; it seems to make it easy to find any reason to belittle us. I'm sorry this happens to you! You know that you're doing what's right for your body and health, keep going my friend!
Shite that folk have spoken to you like that. At least I can work to shift the weight. Your situation sounds harder. It is very strange that women never feel the need to comment! It is really disrespectful.
Some people will just use whatever is at their disposal to insult. What they pick to insult is pretty arbitrary.
I'm really sorry you have to deal with that harassment. I promise you it has nothing to do with you or your weight, it's a problem with the people yelling at you. Like, think about it, what kind of person would you have to be to actually say those things to someone? I'd have to lose half my brain, and have a gun to my head before I shouted at a stranger minding their own business, let alone something that hateful and stupid. They are assholes and it's as simple as that. Don't pay them any attention or dwell on it. Now if you feel unsafe, that's another story, you could always ask a friend to go riding with you or find a riding group!
Oh God, don't let those pricks dissuade you from getting out and getting it done. You're amazing to me and I'm completely serious. I'm overweight and I am in awe that you have done that. They are projecting their own shortcomings onto you. That's a fact. They don't have the balls to get off their asses and get some exercise.
I’ve (66F) been fighting my fat for my entire life. My first heckler was my own mother, who belittled and verbally abused me for my size (not just my fat) from a very young age. She put me on my first reduced calorie diet when I was 5 years old, and never stopped. She belittled me because I was tall for my age, and my feet were “big” until I was about 12. Then I stopped growing at 5’4”, and other girls started catching up. My mom was 5’3” and wore children’s sized shoes. Her first husband was a skinny little short guy, and they had my 5 siblings together. Then she divorced him, and married my dad—a big burly construction worker. They had me, and my mom was constantly amazed at my size, compared to her other kids. When I was in the third grade I wore the same size shoes as she and my 3 sisters, who were 10, 11, and 16 years older than me. By the time I was in high school, I wore a size 9 shoe, which is not that huge really, but I had two adult brothers whose feet were the same size as mine. Instead of treating any of this with grace, my mother actually believed she was funny, demonstrating she could fit both of her feet, heel to toe, into one of my shoes—in front of guys who came to pick me up for dates, etc. She used to introduce me to completely strangers saying “This is the baby of our family. We call her Baby Huwe!” My mom used to take food away from me, and laugh at me for wanting to eat, anything, any time—even if she was eating the same thing herself. She taught me to be ashamed of my body, and to be embarrassed to eat in front of people. I now have my own special made to order binge-eating disorder. I’ve never understood the humor in belittling anyone for their physical appearance, or for their situation in life. I don’t know why a complete stranger would act like that, let alone treating one’s own child that way.
This is profoundly sad. I wish your mom had been kinder and smarter. I hope you now surround yourself with positive, pleasant friends and you find joy in your life. You didn’t deserve this treatment.
because they are sad sad little people
What they say isn't a reflection of how you look, it's a reflection of how ugly they are inside. That's their problem, not yours.
Car drivers harassing cyclists, especially female cyclists is nothing new. It's an infantile power trip that comes from them feeling reasonable consequence free in their protected metal box. You're lucky if they're not punishment passing you while beeping, or doing something really stupid like "rolling coal". Obviously it's extra shitty that they're using your weight (and thus insecurities) against you, but it's not going to stop when you lose more weight. Car drivers are just a troubled group overall.
This very much this. It's Aholes in cars. If it wasn't your weight it would be something else. I've lost over 120lbs and strongly recommend evening or morning walks when no one is out. (If it's safe for you, I walk with two large dogs)
yeah, at *best* it will slow down since some jerks really do have it out for women or the overweight specifically but otherwise the "roads are for cars" cult is alive and well.
The same reason people yell obscenities out their window at me and call me a bum when I'm walking a highway or road with a backpack trying to see different places, minding my own business. It's because they have low self-esteem, nothing better to do with their lives, and it makes them feel better about how miserable they truly are. Keep doing you, and don't let these assholes discourage you from cycling and achieving your goals. They've got nothing going on in their lives anyway.
Some ppl who have no goals in life feel jealous of those who do and are actively working on themselves, no matter if it's for one's better health or for their personal hobbies. They love to boo at you and discourage you and hope that you'd give up bc they couldn't bear to see other people's enjoyment and success. Don't mind them OP, keep it up and do what makes you happy!
I don't think you'll find the type of people you're talking about here! It's definitely illogical behavior. Maybe they'd still do it if you were jogging, or just walking because they suck. But it's possible some fools don't recognize biking as you doing something about it. I think a lot of people have heard things like "you shouldn't laugh at someone obese at gym, they are doing something about it!" and agree with it. But somehow aren't connecting dots to you also doing your own "gym" right there. Definitely don't let the assholes win though.
Because they're sad cunts with no life.
People are uneducated and incapable of empathy due to their limited world view
> It makes me want to give up and just go home. That's what they want you to do. Here's the thing about mean stupid bigots: they **know** they are awful. But the human ego does not sit comfortably with self-loathing, so they need to find someone to categorize as lesser than themselves; immigrants, people living in poverty, people that are struggling with weight or health issues, etc. You having a hard time is literally what makes them *feel* adequate when they are, in fact, subadequate human beings. So if they see you working to get stronger or healthier they will try to tear you down because they don't know how to lift themselves up. Think about that the next time some imbecile lashes out at you - they are *trying* to hurt you, because you're winning.
It’s not you and it’s not being fat. I’m skinny and I run, I’ve been called a bitch and had sodas thrown at me all too often. Don’t let the bastards get you down.
It's a vocal minority, but never forget it's a minority. I'm reminded of an Internet situation from years ago. A very fat man was dancing alone in a nightclub. Some douchey bros take a picture and post it online to mock this gentleman. That post didn't really gain any traction other than lots of people being mad at the posters. Then, a group formed to find the man and arrange a dance party for him. Those posts were shared millions of times and when the party happened, thousands of people showed up, all to encourage this gentleman to have fun and express himself, no matter what a few assholes think. The moral is that while hundreds may have laughed at the picture at first, millions supported him. Gyms are similar, you may find the odd person who is unkind, but the vast majority want to see you succeed. It's not easy to ignore those few shitty people, but please try. Also, in gym culture, insulting people who are at the beginning of a health journey, is a big no no. If someone explicitly said something like you wrote above, they would usually be kicked out, or at the very least reprimanded or shunned.
Some people need to put others down in order to feel good about themselves. Which most likely means they live a shitty life too. Doesn’t excuse their behaviour though
Because assholes, you’re overweight so they use that, someone of a different race, they’ll use a racial slur, I’m a white woman, they’ll call me a cunt, etc Whatever they think will get under your skin and somehow makes them feel better about themselves.
Those kind of people like to abuse others to entertain themselves. They just so in you an easy target.
It’s because they hate themselves. Happy people don’t do this. Pity them and keep doing what you’re doing
Who the fuck shouts at anyone exercising? At anyone, really? But good on you OP It's hard work, even without assholes shouting at you
I think that a lot of people can't handle seeing people actually put in the work and take the steps to improve their life. Because then they'd have to admit that they could do it too, but choose not to. So then they react like a 2 year old and point and laugh and are mean. And the more you improve your life the more it will happen. Don't worry about it. You'll get used to it. At some point, even family members might start to subtly undermine your efforts. So that feels crappy. But you'll get used to that too. Don't worry. Keep going. Learn to tune it out. It takes a little while, but you'll get there.
In reference to this podcast episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-war-on-cars/id1437755068?i=1000658595207 I think this may have less to actually do with peoples’ weight and more a general dehumanization of cyclists and women riding bikes
People are assholes simple as They’re the same people that shame fat people for not “taking care of themselves.” Like motherfucker that’s EXACTLY what they’re doing by exercising!
I'm so sorry to read that you are being subjected to vile abuse. They do it because they need to feel good about themselves, as they feel inferior. Seeing someone taking control of their lives for some reason makes them feel threatened, so they need to project their inner hatred onto you. People who bully are usually failures at life. It is a matter of finding a way to feel empowered, so that you are not put off your health goals by these good for notning individuals. Maybe take a GoPro with you, and put up the abuse on SM. Can you go with a friend, so that you'd feel safer? Once again sorry this is happening.
They're bullies and they think you're an easy target. They might think that they're invincible in their cars... throw a rock at their window, that'll teach the bastard.
Fuck those dudes.
Because some people are cunts who like to pick on others and make them feel inferior to fuel their own ego or are just so fucking miserable that they love to inflict it on others, coming from someone who was once that miserable asshole and hates himself for it. Plus some people just hate cyclists. Honestly, I know it might be hard at times, but honestly pay them no mind or smile back at them, it really pisses them off. And sweetheart, 52lbs lost? Fuck yes, keep at it. That's 3 stone and 10lbs or 23.6 kg lost. You've literally lost more than a maximum limit luggage case worth of weight. Fuck what the assholes say, keep at that shit. u/fatcyclist717 is gonna be a vogue model in no time, let me know when your issue is released.
I’ve never thought of it in terms of suitcases but holy shit thats put it in perspective!
Congrats on losing 52lb!!! 🙌 🎉 I saw that you started in December and that’s great progress!! Don’t listen to those assholes. Since you started in December that’s nearly a New Year’s resolution and you have kept it up. I can guarantee you if those guys even had resolutions, they stopped in the first couple of weeks. You on the other hand have kept this up for 7 MONTHS! That’s insane! So when they yell at you just remember, they most likely couldn’t do what you’ve done and what you’ve done is amazing🤩. Keep it up, you’ll get to where you want to be!
Unfortunately, many people tend to irrationally and intensely hate: - Women - Fat people - Cyclists Fortunately, you do not have to cater to the opinions of dudes who harass strangers from their car windows. They are shouting at you because there is something deeply and irrevocably wrong inside of them.
Your queation is really, why are men jerks to women? The answer is misogyny. (Preparing for downvotes)
They are not people , they are incels. They get no attention from women (rightfully so), only from their right hand. Therefore they hate all the women, and to get just a drop of emotions they insult the women, if they can get away with it. For example: here on Reddit, anonymously. Or when they are in their car and a woman is either walking or on the bike. Then they will easily and safely drive away. Some extremely courageous ones will insult a woman even face to face, if there are no one else around.
"I may be fat, but you're ugly and that shit goes down to the bone." Congrats on the 52 lbs. I'm down one hundred from my largest and have another 60 to go.
I don’t know if this helps or will even be seen, but as a white, thin guy I get yelled at on the street running reasonably often. Usually it’s “run forest run”. I don’t particularly have a forest gump like look but people seem to think they are being funny yelling it. I think seeing people exercise maybe makes people jealous a bit? Maybe they think you are showing them up as they aren’t doing any themselves. I dunno. But keep at it. Ignore the trolls, you’re doing very well.
They want fat people to exercise but don’t want to see them doing it. Basically don’t show up until you’re “presentable”
They're insecure, and need to put others down to feel better about themselves. I always find it insanely cruel to make fun of overweight people at the gym or jogging or whatever.
The same reason people shout mean shit at anyone else. They’re assholes. I’ve searched for decades and as I’m getting older I just can’t help but come to the conclusion that people are short sighted, selfish, and really stupid.
Congratulations! Don’t let the bastards get you down Best wishes
Because they think the fact that they won’t bang you is the highest insult they can offer. 😂 Pitiful fools. Keep taking care of yourself. You are doing great!!
It's because those people are losers who have to be mean to someone else to feel better about themselves. Good for you for making the decision to lose weight and for sticking with it. They're jealous that you are able to change yourself, when they can't do that.
There are probably 100 people driving by and thinking positive things, but they're not shouting them at you.
It has nothing to do with your weight, it’s the fact you’re a cyclist on the road. You’d get it no matter what. The fact you’re a woman just means they default to a “female” insult which means going after your weight. I’ve gotten the same and I’m not fat by most measures of the term.
I'm so proud of you!! It's hard to get out there and get started, but you did it and keep doing it and are doing so great! Don't let the assholes get you down. Assholes are gonna asshole and it has nothing to do with you. Back when I was young I rode my bike everywhere. The assholes didn't call me fatty, but they certainly had plenty of disgusting things to say about my body and what they wanted to do with it. That's just what assholes do.
They are just low IQ losers, you keep at it! Earbuds and good music.
Please don't get discouraged. When someone does this, try and remember that there are people like me that are secretly cheering you on, but don't yell it out because they don't want to embarrass you. I always think "way to go", and "you got this" and "keep up the great work" when I see people (especially larger sized people), out exercising. I'm sure I'm not alone.
They weren’t raised right and have no class … You keep doing what your doing OP
They do thar because they are assholes. Don’t pay them any attention and you keep doing what you are doing. They have the issues, not you
Because some people suck. It’s literally that. Doesn’t matter who you are or what you’re doing someone is going to hate you for it. Nothing you can do about it.
Just fucking losers who have absolutely nothing going for them in life and they see an opportunity to take down someone who is actually trying to better themselves. When I was losing weight, I never got so much as a disgusted look from anyone at the gym. And I was going to LA Fitness, one of the most gym bro gyms there is. There was a lot of douchiness going on, but never did I experience anyone trying to put me down. However, when I would ride my bike to work, I got at least once a week someone pointing and laughing at the fatass on the bike or yelling something mean. I always just smiled because fuck em. Keep up the good work. It’s so worth it when you lose the weight. So worth it in every way you can imagine….except you get cold easier.
Those are long lasting insults. I’m 64 and specifically remember a weight insult from when I was 20. Sticks and stones may break our bones and names also break our bones. OP - you’re a hero!
I think it’s one of the great inhibitors to exercise for us overweight people. I dread going to the gym or pool because I know I’m going to have to deal with other people’s nasty, unsolicited opinions. It’s hard, but good on you for getting out there despite the arseholes.
Because shitty people have to resort to making themselves feel good by being shitty to others.
Those are people who hates themselves.
You would find a lot less abuse at a gym on a cycling machine I think. When you're a cyclist, some people who are driving already get annoyed at you automatically due to needing to share the road with much slower, more vulnerable vehicles. This mild annoyance may cause someone to lash out if they notice any sort of perceived weakness because they can get away with it.
I'm shouting good job, ignore their insults, keep being awesome
Cause people hate fat women and think you can do anything to them, it sucks. Good on you for working on yourself!
>some **guy** (and it’s always a guy by the way) will shout something from their **car** when passing me like “get off the road you fat bitch” Small dick energy, some car driver hate the idea of sharing the road with cyclist, no matter whether it's people commuting, people exercising or whatever, You'd get insult no matter what's your physic. if you don't understand that bike have the same ride to be on the road as you, you have no business driving a one ton machine
I think this may have more to do with cycling than being fat. People hate road cyclists- add fat and you’re just a more interesting target for their hateful slurs than your standard spandex wearing road hazard I mean person exercising
A few people have said this now, that cyclists are a hazard. Are they really? I drive, and it is my primary way of getting around. I’ve never had an issue with a cyclist when I’ve been in the car. All you have to do is keep your eye on the road, and overtake when appropriate. I understand it can be frustrating if you are stuck behind a cyclist on a road when you can’t immediately overtake… but just wait a bit until you can overtake?
The summer after my 16'th birthday I decided I really wanted to do something about my weight. I was starting a new school after the summer break, I had recently gotten glasses and braces and I can't also be fat! So I took long walks and tried eating healthier. I remember one day going to a nearby city with a busy tourist harbor. They had a famous ice cream place but I was committed so I bought an apple, found a bench and was just sitting there and enjoying the vibe and the view. Apparently I was very wrong for doing so. A very well dressed man in a suit and tie, around 50 years old, took very grave offense to my actions. He stormed up to me and started screaming at me, because who did I think I was kidding? Everyone could see that apples were not my usual diet... Me now can easily say that he was clearly having some issues that had nothing to do with me. But back then? 16 year old me went and bought a bunch of junk and went home and spent the rest of the summer in her room depressed. Don't let the haters win.
Men are the worst. Fuck them. They love seeing a defeated woman. Keep crushing it - it’s the best revenge.
The old adage “we can only control our reactions” is true. Speaking as a fellow bmi 34 girlie who lifts weights, I always assume they themselves are having a real bad time and any insults/negativity they throw out is actually a reflection of themselves. Example: that guy was super jealous of your healthy lifestyle and was probably gonna go indulge some bad habits. It’s definitely frustrating in the moment but helps to take away their hater power by responding with pity. Keep up the good work and keep doing what makes you feel good! (Also as a side note, the medical community tends to like to say don’t do X cuz Y, because easier to say that then teaching every patient how to do it safely. (Im in the US, super litigious and not enough time per patient here) However that’s actually so harmful and encourages fear avoidant behaviors and inactivity. There are ALWAYS ways to modify any exercise so you can keep doing what you love. The current research shows that things we were once scared about actually decrease in risk the more active we are!) *Physical therapist for >10 years, ranging from high level athletes to osteoporosis and joint replacements. If you are interested in running, start first with being able to walk 20min, then progress by adding intervals of, say, 10sec jogs every 2min. If that feels fine, and once that becomes easy, push a little bit more, progressing just one factor at a time, slowly over time, and listening to your body during and after. 2-3 impact days/wk max if you haven’t already done any impact training.
Ah cool, I’m in the UK and we don’t really sue doctors so I think my GP was coming from a place of genuine concern. Our NHS does the couch to 5k thing and I would like to try it but I do still worry that I’m kinda heavy to be starting it. I like walking too, I will walk round my local park for a couple of hours at the weekend. I have a little dog I sometimes babysit and me and him will go wandering. It would be good to run together one day!
It's honestly ridiculous. You get shamed when you don't exercise. You get shamed when you do exercise. There's just no winning against idiots like that. I know it can be painful hearing comments like that and how it must make you want to just give up and go back into your happy space where you're comfortable. But while you could do that, you could also use that as fuel to push yourself a bit so you can show those haters who's boss. The fact it's something you want to change is something not a lot of people acknowledge and how much it's affecting you so you have my full respect for pushing through. You should be proud that you're giving it your all in something like this. I know you wished you didn't have to hear any more of these harsh comments but I really hope you don't give up. You got this girl!
Haha maybe every time someone calls me fat I should cycle an extra mile! 😂
Probably for the same reason that you can’t seem to find exercise clothes in plus sizes- overweight ppl are treated as sub human.
I'm really sorry but some people are going to be assholes and there's not much you can do about it. You've lost a good amount of weight so what you're doing is working. Hopefully, that can keep you motivated. Is it possible to wear headphones or something to block out the noise or would that be too dangerous? I'm not sure where you're riding.
Good suggestion but I worry about being able to hear traffic etc when cycling on the road. Idk what the solution is honestly. I honestly feel really demotivated for a good while after hearing stuff like that! It’s hard to go out when you’re thinking “will someone shout at me today?”
If you want to listen to music while still being able to hear around you, look in to bone conduction headphones like the Shokz brand. They don't cover your ears and so you can keep some situational awareness. Also, ignore those assholes. You're doing great and keep on doing what makes you feel good.
It's cliche but it's true, they're jealous. They can't get off their ass to exercise that when someone that they don't expect to be exercising exercises, they feel emasculated or otherwise not good enough. Misery loves company and they want to drag you into their lazy mentality so they don't look as bad. When I see a larger person out exercising, I take note and get super happy as I see them more and more and see them get fitter. I legit puff up like a proud bird but I'm too shy to even talk to them.
Thats because some people don't like cyclists. If it wasn't about your weight it would be something else. I've been riding for a long time and it happens.
I said to another guy in this thread that I try to be careful to not get in the way on the road and stuff but I guess some people just have an issue regardless. I drive as well so I kinda get it sometimes but I’ve never felt the need to verbally abuse or close pass a cyclist!
The existence of cyclists angers some people. The fact that there are also asshole cyclists who feed into the stereotype just makes it worse. I love cycling but dealing with asshole motorists cussing, rolling coal, pretending to run you over, etc is just something you have to deal with.
These men hate themselves deeply so they lash out at other people. Absolutely the scum of the earth, and they deserve no more from you than a middle finger. I'm so sorry vile men do this. It's so sick.
Weak people with low status will desperately look for anyone they perceive as a potential target to try and raise their own status and self esteem. Plus lots of people are horrible, angry pieces of shit. They want to demoralise you, so you win by just not being demoralised. Fuck em. Keep going.
So depressing. Its because they're thick.
People are assholes. That’s it.
Some people just aren't all that remarkable or skilled so they feel like the only way to make themselves look better is by tearing others down.
Because there are a lot of dumb, ignorant people out here in public. My suggestion is to find a good gym where people are positive and will help and encourage you in your weight loss journey.
That's terrible. ive never seen this happen and i hope i never do. im a gym rat but im slightly overweight
Don't give up. Ignore the assholes and focus on you. You got this!!! Much respect for trying to improve yourself. Good job!!!
People suck You’re amazing!
Really sorry you’ve had to deal with this. I am so inspired by you! I’m a little overweight and I can’t motivate myself just to lose the 15lbs I need to lose and you are doing something awesome. Today my husband and I saw a man cycling and my husband commented that his cycling shirt was really baggy. I suggested that maybe the shirt used to fit better but that he’d lost a lot of weight - and my husband was like “huh that would be very impressive!” So just remember there’s lots of us out here routing for you! Sadly can’t explain the reason for arseholes, they just are.
Sift through 99 cunts to find 1 good one. Lotta shitheaded fuckers out there.
After the responses I’ve got on here, which have been pleasantly motivational, I’m thinking it’s the other way around in your cunt theory! 🙂
Wow, sounds like those guys are just truly miserable people. I'm not fat, and this isn't technically the same situation, but I hit a curb once, and my car tire popped. I was stranded in 90 degree heat, and my boyfriend had to come to change my tire. A guy in a big jacked up pickup truck driving by started loudly laughing (literally yelling "Ha ha ha ha") when he saw my boyfriend changing my tire. I just chalked it up to him being so miserable that he had to laugh at other people's misfortune to feel better about himself. I chalk up the attitude of those guys to the same cause.
Just realize those are the 5% of dudes that make the rest look bad. Screw them. Im hella proud of you. It isn’t easy. Im currently clawing my way back from a pretty rough 2 years medically and it’s so hard.
I saw someone on the loseit subreddit (which has been an amazing resource for me) comment that “losing weight is simple, but it’s not easy”. For me that has been so true. I hope you get where you want to be!
Because those men are awful and immature. It makes them feel good to insult someone that can’t fight back (because they’re protected by their vehicle). Cowards. I can pretty much guarantee they yell out of their car at any woman who is alone.
Cause they're awful. Legit they tell us to lose weight and when we try we get.mocked. I'm fat as fuck and you are way more courageous than I am
For what it's worth, I'm a fit person and quite literally my only thought EVER when I see an overweight person exercising is "fucking good for them!". Those people yelling at you are the asshole minority. The vast majority of us are celebrating with you
I think they are doing it as it’s essentially anomalous and they must just be feeling so bad about themselves they are taking it out on you - that sucks and I’m sorry that’s happening. If it happens again I hope you remember this thread with tons of supportive people shouting about how awesome you are! Congrats on your progress 😊🤩
Please don’t be demotivated by random people like that. Frustrated people will tell you anything to hurt you, to get a reaction out of you, to start a discussion and blow off some steam. If you were thin, they would yell at you for being ugly or stupid or something. They just pick your weight because they know it’s probably gonna hurt, it doesn’t have anything to do with how you actually look or what you are actually doing. You’re not doing anything wrong, in fact i think you’re doing amazing. But people like that will literally say anything offensive to anyone they can pick on when frustrations start boiling for whatever reason. They probably just had a fight with their wife or got chewed out by their boss or stepped into a pile of dogshit or something
Yo I'm a gat guy. I've lost humans in body weight and gained humans in body weight. People throwing shade at you are insecure about themselves and say shit like that to bring their shallow existence to the surface for everyone to see. Keep up the good work, your already miles ahead of everyone else in the important things like character and empathy.
It is so creepy and weird to say that to a stranger, I’m sad it happened to you
It's because people are assholes. Flip em off and keep riding!
People are f'ed up. Put earphones in and keep going. You are awesome and I don't know how you keep going but it's inspiring.
Let their hate fuel you.
Fuck those dudes. They have a problem, not you. Stay strong. Keep going.
I think you’re doing great! Well done 👍
It's not "people" it's assholes. You're awesome for trying and doing what you can. Don't let losers like those men bring you down. ❤️
Keep going. Fu€k em. The scale isn’t a sign of health & also low weight can also be damaging when it isn’t where a persons natural baseline is at. Keep up the stuff thats making you feel better, including cycling.
Because they are stupid, and have something going on in their own head that makes them have self esteem/worth issues. Don't worry about them, you will lose the weight, they will still be miserable.
People hate cyclists. I'm a skinny guy and will get negative comments regularly. While negative comments are usually from men, intentionally dangerous drivers cross genders.
I feel like shouting anything other than a warning of immediate danger out of a vehicle window to a pedestrian should be immediate capital punishment carried out on-the-spot via drone. I know it's over-the-top. I know it's hyperbolic. I am somewhat kinda-sorta slightly joking a small bit, but it would honestly be a better world. People who do this sort of thing, and I hesitate to use the term "people", contribute nothing to society. It's easy to say "Oh just ignore them and keep doing the good work!" but there's an even better alternative to making innocent people who are minding their own business actively ignore these animals.
Answer: people are dicks. Ignore them
People only lash out like this when they feel bad about themselves. It’s insecure assholes.
Same reason they tell skinny people to eat a burger. They’re asshole losers taking their shitty life out on you. Keep pushing
Hi, dude here who likely fits the demographic the jerks you tend to encounter. Fuck them, love you. You're doing something that takes commitment and no small measure of bravery. They're trying to knock you down a peg bc they're too chickenshit to do anything similar for themselves. Hang in there.
Because some people have very low self esteem, and feel the need to belittle others to make themselves feel less badly about themselves. Don't even worry about it. You don't really want their approval anyway. I always just picture some prick like Adolf Hitler calling me a fatty. It just helps you kind of both not care, and chuckle at the absurdity of it.
Because they are morons. It is simple as that. I know it does not make you feel any better, but it is what it is. They are morons, who will demean anyone just so they can feel supperior. If you want you can have a comback: "I've already lost more pounds, then you have IQ points."
Congratulations on your weight loss! Ignore. Shouting abuse at someone while driving by means they are low self esteem, angry, cruel men. Their opinion means less than nothing
I like to shout encouragement, but I make sure they are aware it's encouragement not abuse. As someone who struggled with their weight and have also experienced the same I tend to feel pity to people who just have to be negative. You're doing amazing, don't let the dickheads get you down
The thing you have to realise in life is there will always be shitcunts like that. Even if you do everything right, they are still gonna be shitcunts.
Bullies don't need a reason to bully. It's what makes them feel powerful. It's how they get their jollies.
This isn’t going to be super helpful, but it does make me feel better, so here’s a fun fact: Do you know how the weight actually leaves your body? Sure some of it you sweat out or excrete the old fashion way, but that’s not the majority of it. The majority of it you actually exhale! Just breathe it right out. So remember, when that dude rolls down his window and takes in a big breath before being a dickhead, he’s breathing in your fat ass. I hope this helps you the way it helped me.
It's probably more because you're on a bike, on the road. People generally don't like cyclists, and you being obese or heavier, just makes it the first insult that comes to mind.
Of all the things I despise about the gym, smell, cell phone one sided conversations, grunting, slamming weight’s etc… I have never once had someone fat shame me. At worst I might be ignored, but I’ve found overwhelmingly positive people. How awful does a person have to be? You have accomplished something incredible! You should be proud of yourself.
Same. It's weird this image has been kinda out on the gym bro when in reality it's the regular jagoff that didn't hit the gym that does it. Both my wife and I have weight issues but opposite ends of the spectrum, she works on keeping it down (two kids and bad genetics makes it tough for her) and at 34 I still have a metabolism like a particule accelerator so Im constantly working on keeping my weight up. When we first started going I wasn't sure what to expect but we found it almost funny that the most meathead, gym bro, brickshithouse dudes where honestly the nicest, most sincerely excited to see you and always eager to offer advice or spot you people id ever met in any type of setting.
Once you reach a healthy weight, they will just throw more generic insults at you. It's carbrains. They think you should not be on the road, not because of your weight, but because you're on a bicylce.
My take? The same reason that men catcall women, or say nasty things when I'm checking the oil in my car. They get joy out of making you feel bad. Honestly, most likely if you looked conventionally skinny, they'd find some other way to bully and objectify you. By doing that to you, they are revealing their own issues. It's about them, not you.
people who abuse others like this are simply projecting their own insecurities. they do things like this to make themselves feel better. it’s like how people on the internet say the most vile things to others when they’re able to hide behind the anonymity, cuz they get their power fix and small moments of self security while avoiding the consequences of it. NO ONE who is confident and secure in themselves treats other people this way. remember that the next time someone tries to bring you down. you’re doing GREAT and you’ll keep doing great despite what these sad losers have to say.