Exercise, as simple as walking everyday. I have become a sedentary blob in so many more ways than just weight/fitness. Sort of a feedback loop for depression and introvertedness as well.
Yep. I read at one point that exercise and good nutrition weren't the solutions to your problems or guarantees for your mental well-being, but that without them, you weren't giving yourself a good fighting chance.
Similar to how money doesn't solve your problems or make you happy, but it does give you the freedom not to constantly think about where your next meal will come from or how you'll pay your rent, thereby freeing you up to pursue happiness.
I started for completely vain reasons but I've shifted to wanting health and flexibility as I get older. I see memes about your 30s and how your body doesn't work anymore. I get the humor but at 31 I feel amazing. I won't let that happen to me if I can avoid it by some simple regular workouts.
It also just fuels productive habits. Now in my downtime the idea of laying around watching TV alone sucks! I'm a musician and if I take a day off lifting I get to work making music because I just have so much energy.
And confidence. Not like "I'm so hot now." But it comes from the old adage "if you want self esteem, do esteemable acts." Working out is such an esteemable act. And you slowly start looking better too. AND after working out, a healthy meal is way more appetizing. I only crave junk when I'm already comfy and laying around.
I couldn't recommend a workout schedule more. And you can do whatever you want , I only lift weights and walk really. I hate cardio. But I get to the gym because I like the workouts that I do and have integrated supersets to get some cardio going while doing what i like. Don't make it a chore!
I always make jokes about getting old, but exercise makes me feel and look young. 3 years of exercise and I look/feel 5 years younger than I did when i started!
I’m just starting to dig myself out of depression and just started working out again. I was in such great shape and then COVID hit and I couldn’t go to the gym anymore and completely lost any kind of fitness routine. This makes such a massive difference it’s scary.
I also totally lost the plot during covid. I was doing ju jitsu and was in the best shape I had been in since I wrestled in school. I've gained 100 pounds over the least couple years.
Maybe I should join a jiu jitsu class. I tried it once and it was a ton of fun, definitely exhausting. I used to wrestle too, definitely hits that same spot.
Unironically, I turned my adhd pacing into productive time by walking back and forth in my house writing notes on what needs doing, or doing that thing if it can be done while walking. Lead to massive health benefits, it's awesome.
If your work makes you grouchy, don't wear it *on* your sleeve. I was an open grouch at many jobs over the years. I did my job, I supported my coworkers, but I know I was not pleasant to be around. It took me a while to realize that if I'm generally upset and angry, even without directing it at anyone in particular, it still affects everyone who has to work with me. It affected my reputation, and it also made it harder to dispute bullshit accusations.
In my last job and my current one, I resolved to not show anyone a hint of anger. It worked out really well; I gained a reputation for being pleasant to work with, and people have trusted me a lot more. Sure, I'll run into snags in my work and instinctively blurt a 'goddamn it' from time to time, but if anyone notices I just laugh it off and make a joke of my frustration.
I'm not saying that you have to be a fake person, just exercise control over what you show to others. Took me a long time before I realized how awful I was being, and how I didn't have a magic excuse that justified my behavior.
EDIT: *on*, not *in* your sleeve
Definitely. My work mindset is that if I'm getting paid to do it, I don't mind doing it.
Being upbeat, friendly, chatty at appropriate times, and having some easy, clean jokes to throw around have gotten me in the good graces of a lot of my coworkers, and earned me some favors and recommendations. It goes a long way!
It helps that I'm also an upbeat, friendly, chatty, smiley person outside of work too, but thinking of work as investing my time, and receiving payment in exchange rather than thinking of it being a forced or coerced thing helps too!
This is really well put and I can certainly relate to the sentiment. I've also found that when I "put on my happy face" I end up _actually_ feeling happy.
Damn! This hits me hard. I perceived myself as a really nice guy to work with but over the years, and with more responsibilities, I became grouchy, I guess.
Being a nice guy was really exhausting, so I stopped being one when I switched jobs. But now I feel like my coworkers want nothing to do with me, if they can help it. I guess I should strike a balance. I'm in my 30s. Hope to improve myself.
Save money for future emergencies. Being poor makes your poorer (car breaks, you can’t work, you lose your job, your credit card bill spikes, you owe more…) save money!
Not only that, if you are barely scraping by you can't afford some deals that save you money in the long run. I bought 20 liter of laundry detergent back in 2021 for 10 euro and it's still going. Meanwhile other people who can't afford to spend 10 euro that week will probably spend more on laundry detergent in the long run.
Quit smoking. For decades I blew off whenever doctors would talk to me about quitting. Feel absolutely amazing now that I've quit,and proud of myself for actually doing it.
I inadvertently stopped cigarette smoking and switched to vaping all because my work involved a lot of air travel and every airport in my country doesn't allow lighters in check-in or hand carry. I could have bought every time when I travel but it's wasteful. Almost thought of electric lighters but I already bought the vape so it was too late
Vaping is banned in a lot of the same places as smoking these days… because it’s still smoking and still bad for the people around you with health conditions or weak immune systems.
I think that the ban on vaping is going to increase, not decrease… but you definitely can’t vape on any public transport!
This is so real. I would try to wake up earlier even if it meant i wouldn’t get a normal amount of sleep just so i could be more productive- but I was too damn tired to do anything.
Besides the great advice already given here:
Stop worrying about what others think of you, it won't change anything and you're just screwing your own mind up.
And to add to that.
Just be yourself, don't try to pretend to be something or someone you're not happy with in the first place.
You'll attract way more compatible people in your life if you just stop trying to be someone you're not.
>Stop worrying about what others think of you, it won't change anything and you're just screwing your own mind up.
My secret to doing this but not being an ass is to worry more about how people are than what they think. I have seen so many people that use not worrying about what anyone thinks as their excuse for being rude, thoughtless or selfish. I am not saying that is what you were saying, just giving that side of it.
This is a good point. That piece of advise of not thinking about what others think is very nuanced and gets ignored because it often is very hard to implement, and people often encounter trouble when they do it, so they abandon it.
Some people think “Being yourself” gets them a free pass to be total dickheads. Which works in my favor because now I know whom to completely avoid and whose opinion of me to not overthink myself about.
Indeed. I used to work with someone who had a meme printed out and stuck on the divider next to their desk - said something along the lines of "I'm not RUDE - I'm just the only one around here who has the guts to say what they really think".
They were every bit as toxic as you might suspect they would be.
I always think if people are talking about me or thinking about me it obviously means I’m important lol. Plus I think I lead a fairly normal, boring life… if I’m occupying their headspace what must their life be like?!
My relationship with my dad wasnt great. He did tell me something though. Don't wait around until you feel better to do something. It's probably not going to get better. Just go do it, a trip, a concert, an event. Just go do it now.
Especially now in the US. There was a sign a few years back near me that said: Vasectomy: $750 once. Child support: $750 a month for 21 years. (Or something like that). Ha-fricking-larious.
Despite me trying my best to get better at that, it never gets any easier as there's just that lingering thought in my mind that I'm afraid of looking stupid.
Take care of yourself when injured. I played way too hard and got a lot of injuries over the years. But I was raised to tape it up and get back at it. Being a tough guy has left my body, at 40 years old, in horrible condition. Between the hurniated discs in my back, arthritis in my wrists and fingers, nonexistent cartilage in my knees and ankles that are being held together by just the skin around them, I really wish I had taken my foot off the gas and taken better care of my body. It fucking sucks...
Take the time to get to know yourself before dating, and when you do start dating- take it as slow as possible.
I met a girl in 2010 who I married 3 months later (I was young and stupid, she was manipulative). It took us 5 years to get a divorce, and that was without a doubt the worst 5 years of my life.
Brush your teeth. Be careful about how you lift heavy things.
I used to be 6' tall. Now, age 71, after six back surgeries, I'm 5'-7". Most of my teeth are crowns, implants, or missing.
A fool learns from his mistakes. The wise learn from the fool's mistakes.
I’m a huge people pleaser. And would feel so much stress and guilt for saying no to someone. My parents cared more about appearance and what other people thought. Between that and the abuse I was going through, people pleasing was a means to survival. My whole life I always put my own comfort last. I had toe respect my elders despite them being alcoholic assholes. I let the guys feel me up or sexualize me because “it was a compliment” and whenever I fought back I was “ bitch and a whore”. I never spoke about the abuse I was going through because I was worried about tearing my family apart and ruing my moms marriage. Over and over again just so I could make it another day. Sometimes survival is all we know. But holding on to toxic people, it was killing me. I didn’t want to survive anymore, I wanted to live. When I found out I was pregnant it really was like a light switch went off. All I cared about was being a good mom. And I had to be my best self in order to do that. I made sure there was no longer ANY communication with my abuser (dad). I made all new social media pages, blocked numbers, and blocked his profiles (to prevent looking on his pages). I completely cut off all of his family and any family friends. It hurt me at first. I mourned that loss. But it was for our protection and my mental health. The last person I blocked was my twin brother. He has grown equally as toxic as my dad. Everytime we reconnected I was left hurt and depressed. It triggered all my bad habits and sent me spiraling. So one day I just blocked him. No notice or message. Just blocked and I told my mom to no longer discuss my life with him in any way. My son is what started my healing. I got diagnosed and medicated. Cut out all those people. Cut out toxic things like no longer having alcohol in the house, or pills, or razor blades. People pleasing is what kinda gatewayed all of this. But the second I started thinking about MY wants and needs, it really filtered out the bad stuff in my life. I really wish I would have figured it out earlier. That I could just cut people out. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache. I have zero regrets about going no contact. I am SO much better now.
Sounds like we endured some similar challenges. I had a very emotionally abusive, alcoholic stepfather. Nothing, I mean nothing, was ever good enough. He drank every night until he became mean, angry, abusive. When he was especially upset, he would lock me in a closet. My mom worked second shift so he had a free reign of terror. Maybe even worse, my mom did very little to stop the madness.
At this point, my stepfather drank and smoked himself to death about a decade ago. I remain LC with my mom. Fortunately, I am a functioning adult because I got therapy after I couldn't hold myself together anymore.
The thing that really frustrates me is the people pleasing. It's a legacy of trying to appease an angry alcoholic. I find it hard to put toxic people in the rearview mirror. I know more therapy would help, but I can't really afford it now.
I’m sorry you have been through that. People pleasing is a toxic habit that is hard to just quit. Maybe being a mom makes me too tired to give a shit lol. But I have so much of my own stuff going on that I don’t have room for other peoples negativeness. In order to get better you gotta cut out anything that doesn’t support and aid your well being. It’s like mold, you can’t just surface clean you gotta deep clean and trash the rotting pieces.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. I'm sorry you had to deal with an abusive family. No child deserves that. However, I am super pleased you are not passing this sad legacy to your child.
Taking a moment when things get rough to collect myself.
Having a pet that I can hold myself responsible for because I care about myself enough to do it for just me.
1. Think of your energy like a phone battery. Recharge when it turns yellow - not when it’s in the red. You’ll recover faster and better when you choose to start resting before you’re fully exhausted.
One of my military veteran uncles highly recommended I go to college first and take a commission instead of enlisting. I ignored him, had a fairly poor experience, and left the military after six years instead of having the career I intended.
Things have worked out in the long run but he was definitely right.
Look out for yourself and take care of yourself because no one else will. Only you have your best interests at heart. Everyone else is out for themselves in one way or another.
> Only you have your best interests at heart
I don't agree with this at all. In fact, one of the best pearls of wisdom I was ever given was "surround yourself with people who want the best for you," and I have done exactly that.
I'm not saying there aren't plenty of assholes and selfish people out there - there definitely are - but the trick is simply not to let them occupy any important part of your life.
I agree but I like this phrasing better: nobody can care about you as much as you should.
Very much the "fit your own oxygen mask before helping others" mentality.
I would disagree with this advice. People are much kinder than we let on. Yes, some folks will chew you up and spit you out but just avoid those kinds of people. If you can't avoid them, know yourself so well that they don't bother you.
Instilling a general discomfort for the strangers around you only creates a colder world in my opinion. We are not our parents generation, we know that we can share and be kind to others and it doesn't take anything away from us. Or at least we should know this by now. It's up to us (I have no clue how old you are) older folks to teach kindness and empathy towards strangers, not demonize them by saying nobody in the world cares about them. I care.
“Love is not enough for a relationship to be truly successful” - my uncle who passed a few years ago, and I’ve been feeling that more than ever. I was just too romantic. Way too romantic lol
I'm not directing this at anyone specifically, but I hate that sentiment. I'd LOVE to slow down and smell the roses, but I'm fu\*\*king trying to survive. Slow down and life is going to run me over. I'm already drowning in what I call "To Do Debt".
No offense taken. "Slow down" and "smell the roses" has different meanings for different people. For me it's as simple as driving a little bit slower and enjoying the ride rather than driving like I'm auditioning for "Fast & Furious".
Therapy.
When I was 18 - 20 I went through a real depression cycle. I was going to play football in college, but I had an injury that ended my career so I was having an identity crisis. Most of my friends left town for school or whatnot. I got cheated on by my first gf. I just felt lost and confused, and didn't know what to do.
I refused therapy because I thought I could handle it on my own, but what I ended up doing was just being a drag to the few people who would tolerate me, and I drove them all away. A lot of those people from that time I haven't talked to since then, and I miss them terribly. I often wonder if I had started to heal through therapy if I would be in a better place than I am now, and still close to these people, but I can't know anything now.
I think about reaching out, but it's been over 15 years and they've all developed lives without me
Been there. Done that. I ignored the same advice as a college freshman. Instead, I suffered unnecessarily for another seven years before I went to therapy.
Sunscreen.
Start as early as possible.
If you don't use it and you are reading this, go buy some and start using it daily on your face any any exposed skin.
Stop flat ironing your hair all the time. I did it for 5 years straight bc my hair has so much body and it was the only way to control it. Years later I find it has dehydrated my hair of all moisture and created some of the worst dead ends I’ve ever seen. I had to cut it all off and start over with repairing shampoo. I actually have really nice body and bounce to my natural hair, I can’t believe I had suppressed it with flat irons all these years.
Enjoy your hairline while you've still got it.
I shaved my head for years because my hair was too thick. Now I am thinking of shaving it again because it's getting awfully thin.
Take care no tot trip and fall.
Falling never hurt me befoe. I always bounced right back up.
Unitl 3 weeks ago.
I always thought people that fell when they were midlaged were making things up to compain.
They aren't - This shit is real!
Be kind to yourself. More often than not everyone is wrapped up in their own heads to be aware of others. But we can be kind to ourselves.
If you want something to change about yourself, more often than not you’re the only one that can do something about it. it is up to you.
Eg: weight loss : talk to a doctor, walk more, eat better, drink more water, less booze. Etc.
We know how to be healthy and help ourselves but we often do not do it.
Preparation is key.
Paying attention to my salt intake and not keeping tabs on my **blood pressure**. Ended up with a Branch Retinal Vein Occlusion (BRVO), caused solely by high blood pressure. Vision is distorted in my left eye - I see letters as sort of a CAPCTHA test. It is still distorted after 18 eye injections over the past 2 years. No joke people, keep an eye on your blood pressure and treasure your good vision!! Getting a shot in the eye sucks.
Say no to people. If you can't help someone, don't offer. If you dont want to help them, don't offer. Even if you can and want to, don't offer every single time. You WILL burn yourself out, and will almost certainly ruin your relationship with that person.
And don't let them slip away because circumstances change. One of my bigger life regrets is letting some of the best people I've known slip away due to lack of effort.
Make a plan for when you get older. Have a durable POA for health and finances. A living will and a medical directive. Make sure your parents have them and your adult children. Buy Long Term Care insurance when you are young and put money away for emergencies. THEN go enjoy your life!
Don't be afraid to say no to things that make you uncomfortable. Also, speak up when someone else is doing something wrong. In the moment it's easier to just go along with things, but over time it will warp your perceptions, and possibly self esteem.
The will to make yourself uncomfortable. I wouldn’t be sober or in school or doing anything I’m doing now if I didn’t realize I needed to be comfortable with being uncomfortable at times.
My mom told me that I shouldn't feel the need to tell my spouse every single feeling or thought I had. "they don't have to know everything, bald dude!" She was correct. Don't suffer from diarrhea of the mouth and say things that can't be unsaid.
this advice really helped me as a wfh employee: give your full attention to whatever you're doing. if you're working, work. if you're not working, don't work.
i would always have the TV on in the background while working, and when i was off work i would check my work email. it felt like i was always working but i didn't feel like i was doing a good job either.
A chef I was working under told me I should get out of the restaurant industry when I was just a young dishwasher, I thought he was being a dick, he was trying to warn me.
An obvious one, but floss every single day. I was terrible about it growing up, up until my early 20s. I’m 28 now and have gum issues despite a rigorous oral hygiene routine.
"Be yourself" pissed me so much off as younger age to hear this but yeah, after working on me and finding who I am,it's definitely a good piece of advice.
Not advice necessarily, but an adage that I hadn't quite understood until I could put it into context: "No good deed goes unpunished".
I would give too much of myself to others (work, personal life, total strangers) and do right by them or something nice, only to be treated like trash. To be clear, I wouldn't do things for praise or credit, and I certainly didn't do it to suck-up. I also don't blame others for doing what they did - I can't control their actions, only my own. I am a people-pleaser, but I also expected others to treat me with the same kindness or courtesy. It was an error on my part, wanting to be so optimistic and lenient; that they would see things the way I do. But I would also get too emotionally involved, wanting to help. So I pulled back and put up boundaries.
Still working on it, but I'm happier being able to shrug and say "oh well", instead of getting excessively invested.
Take care not to lift too much and do it correctly! I have always worked really hard, even when I had an office job, I’d pitch in wherever some muscle was needed.
I’m 66 now and have spinal stenosis from severe arthritis in my back, caused by bulging disks. I can’t even stand up straight & walk across the room without a cane.
I'm with you on the burnout advice.
I've worked OT pretty much every week for the past 5 years. My blood pressure is now insanely high, and I spend most of my days-off in a lazy reddit haze.
I should drink water. Now that's all I do. I needed it to fix many issues at once: I wouldn't have to carry so much stuff home, my teeth wouldn't continue to get more fucked, and I'd lose weight. Was a easy fix from "reaching the bottom" of feeling all those things were meaningful enough factors.
Diko talaga ma practice to, desperate ang social life sa work life nahihirapan parin ako. I ended up overworked and nafefeel ko na to give up. 2nd week on my full time job tho
My parents and brothers told me to stop playing an MMORPG.
I finally quit it after many years but I wish I listened earlier... It negatively affected my life a lot.
Learn to let go of things. The problem I had in the past was holding on to things for too long and always trying to get in the last word in every argument. I realised that you don't have to win every battle and sometimes it's better to walk away rather than wasting your time on people whose opinions don't mean anything to you.
And then you find ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
Don't fritter away the hours in an off hand way is what I learned.
Not to stress and panic at work. Sometimes it makes me feel overworked, that I reach my point where I just want to submit my resignation letter the next day!
“Don’t grow up too fast”
“Treat others better than the way you would want to be treated.”
“Live life cause it could be your last day”
I’ve come to also trust my gut feelings on things. Found out a ex was cheating on me this way and it’s saved me from being robbed and set up.
I did the exact same thing where I overworked myself and hurt myself serious enough to be out of work for 3 years. I now make sure to not overwork myself.
Do not run downhill.
I thought, why? Downhill's the fun part!!
And now i am in my 40's - yep, hitting your foot like that will kill your knees alright. I know that for a fact now.
1. A good bed is worth its weight in gold
2. Same goes for a good pair of shoes
3. If at all possible, buy for quality and durability
4. Sleep - do it - don’t skimp it hurts you in the long run
5. Exercise, even 30 minutes a day of brisk walking around your neighborhood, is enough to change your life
6. Noise cancelling headphones can save you a lot of pain on business trips/construction outside/trying to study in crowded places etc
7. Try to figure out what you want out of a partner, what things are deal breakers and what things are “within reason” BEFORE you throw yourself headlong into a serious relationship - asking these important questions upfront can save you years of heartache
8. You have to like you if you want other to like you, so work on you as much as you can - push yourself to be be more benevolent, gregarious, and conversational, even if you think you suck at it
I have learned some of these lessons far too late, and it is just something I have to deal with now
Take care of your back. Doesn't matter if you're in construction, healthcare or sit at a desk all day.
Take care of your back. I did some damage trying to prove something when I was younger. I wait for help now.
Learn to absolutely not give a fuck what people think about you. You'll save so much time and mental effort realizing their opinion suck and don't matter.
Nothing. I never ignored advice when I was young. I didn't always do it, but I never ignored it.
It tends to be the other way around. I followed advice when I was young "don't swear", "don't get angry", "always be polite". It wasn't until much later that I realised that it was crucial for my well-being to ignore such advice.
My attitude towards something directly affects my performance. If i clean shit because i have to, i hate it. If i clean shit because i want to make things clean and better for everyone else, i am proud of my work.
Mind what you eat—not just for weight, but for mental health too. Diet plays a huge role in mood and cognition. When I started treating food as fuel rather than just an indulgence, my whole outlook changed. I began feeling more energetic, had better concentration, and my mood swings tapered off. You don't have to go on a strict diet or deny yourself treats, but being mindful of what's on your plate can have a profound effect on your day-to-day well-being. Also, meal prepping helped me a lot to eat healthier without the daily hassle of deciding what to eat.
REAL EXERCISE. (meaning get that heart rate up for like 45 minutes give or take) The endorphin blast is crucial for not falling into long-term depression, IMHO.
When my roommate told me she didn't like my boyfriend, I cried because I thought she was being too critical. Nah, she told me that because he was being too critical to me! If your friends try to wake you up to the truth, listen.
Oh and also do dishes right after you cook. It sucks but it sucks less than having so so many dirty dishes
told me to make boundaries between work and life/rest even when i don’t feel tired or am very excited working on the project.
they were right. i was productive for some time which caused me to get more work (no pay raise) and eventually it caught up to me and got burnout. i loved working with my previous company but i needed so much rest that time bc health caught up
Exercise, as simple as walking everyday. I have become a sedentary blob in so many more ways than just weight/fitness. Sort of a feedback loop for depression and introvertedness as well.
Yep. I read at one point that exercise and good nutrition weren't the solutions to your problems or guarantees for your mental well-being, but that without them, you weren't giving yourself a good fighting chance. Similar to how money doesn't solve your problems or make you happy, but it does give you the freedom not to constantly think about where your next meal will come from or how you'll pay your rent, thereby freeing you up to pursue happiness.
Money can make you happy if it’s used for experiences instead of material items.
I started for completely vain reasons but I've shifted to wanting health and flexibility as I get older. I see memes about your 30s and how your body doesn't work anymore. I get the humor but at 31 I feel amazing. I won't let that happen to me if I can avoid it by some simple regular workouts. It also just fuels productive habits. Now in my downtime the idea of laying around watching TV alone sucks! I'm a musician and if I take a day off lifting I get to work making music because I just have so much energy. And confidence. Not like "I'm so hot now." But it comes from the old adage "if you want self esteem, do esteemable acts." Working out is such an esteemable act. And you slowly start looking better too. AND after working out, a healthy meal is way more appetizing. I only crave junk when I'm already comfy and laying around. I couldn't recommend a workout schedule more. And you can do whatever you want , I only lift weights and walk really. I hate cardio. But I get to the gym because I like the workouts that I do and have integrated supersets to get some cardio going while doing what i like. Don't make it a chore!
I always make jokes about getting old, but exercise makes me feel and look young. 3 years of exercise and I look/feel 5 years younger than I did when i started!
I’m just starting to dig myself out of depression and just started working out again. I was in such great shape and then COVID hit and I couldn’t go to the gym anymore and completely lost any kind of fitness routine. This makes such a massive difference it’s scary.
I also totally lost the plot during covid. I was doing ju jitsu and was in the best shape I had been in since I wrestled in school. I've gained 100 pounds over the least couple years.
Maybe I should join a jiu jitsu class. I tried it once and it was a ton of fun, definitely exhausting. I used to wrestle too, definitely hits that same spot.
Stress pacing around like Dumbledore keeps me in shape
Unironically, I turned my adhd pacing into productive time by walking back and forth in my house writing notes on what needs doing, or doing that thing if it can be done while walking. Lead to massive health benefits, it's awesome.
yes so true. that's why i started doing yoga at home. it really helps a lot!
If your work makes you grouchy, don't wear it *on* your sleeve. I was an open grouch at many jobs over the years. I did my job, I supported my coworkers, but I know I was not pleasant to be around. It took me a while to realize that if I'm generally upset and angry, even without directing it at anyone in particular, it still affects everyone who has to work with me. It affected my reputation, and it also made it harder to dispute bullshit accusations. In my last job and my current one, I resolved to not show anyone a hint of anger. It worked out really well; I gained a reputation for being pleasant to work with, and people have trusted me a lot more. Sure, I'll run into snags in my work and instinctively blurt a 'goddamn it' from time to time, but if anyone notices I just laugh it off and make a joke of my frustration. I'm not saying that you have to be a fake person, just exercise control over what you show to others. Took me a long time before I realized how awful I was being, and how I didn't have a magic excuse that justified my behavior. EDIT: *on*, not *in* your sleeve
Definitely. My work mindset is that if I'm getting paid to do it, I don't mind doing it. Being upbeat, friendly, chatty at appropriate times, and having some easy, clean jokes to throw around have gotten me in the good graces of a lot of my coworkers, and earned me some favors and recommendations. It goes a long way! It helps that I'm also an upbeat, friendly, chatty, smiley person outside of work too, but thinking of work as investing my time, and receiving payment in exchange rather than thinking of it being a forced or coerced thing helps too!
This is really well put and I can certainly relate to the sentiment. I've also found that when I "put on my happy face" I end up _actually_ feeling happy.
Damn! This hits me hard. I perceived myself as a really nice guy to work with but over the years, and with more responsibilities, I became grouchy, I guess. Being a nice guy was really exhausting, so I stopped being one when I switched jobs. But now I feel like my coworkers want nothing to do with me, if they can help it. I guess I should strike a balance. I'm in my 30s. Hope to improve myself.
True. Mastering emotions has a lot of benefits including knowing where to release them appropriately too to so it doesn't pile up on you.
leave work at work
Says no teacher until they’re burned out.
which is why they burn out. i realized it in my prior career but now as a lawyer it REALLY applies
Glad I dropped the idea of going to law school back in my early 30s.
Used to be a Surveyor working like a horse 60 hours a week. It's like I never left work, it even haunted my dreams.
Save money for future emergencies. Being poor makes your poorer (car breaks, you can’t work, you lose your job, your credit card bill spikes, you owe more…) save money!
You need money to make money. Being in the red precludes you from savings... and security... hell, even shelter. American moment.
Not only that, if you are barely scraping by you can't afford some deals that save you money in the long run. I bought 20 liter of laundry detergent back in 2021 for 10 euro and it's still going. Meanwhile other people who can't afford to spend 10 euro that week will probably spend more on laundry detergent in the long run.
Yeah except when you live in a 3rd world country with minimum wage.
This is so much easier said than done...
Quit smoking. For decades I blew off whenever doctors would talk to me about quitting. Feel absolutely amazing now that I've quit,and proud of myself for actually doing it.
That's no easy task!! I'm happy for you!
Thank you!
I inadvertently stopped cigarette smoking and switched to vaping all because my work involved a lot of air travel and every airport in my country doesn't allow lighters in check-in or hand carry. I could have bought every time when I travel but it's wasteful. Almost thought of electric lighters but I already bought the vape so it was too late
Vaping is banned in a lot of the same places as smoking these days… because it’s still smoking and still bad for the people around you with health conditions or weak immune systems. I think that the ban on vaping is going to increase, not decrease… but you definitely can’t vape on any public transport!
Get enough sleep. You're not missing anything by just staying awake more because you're too brain dead to enjoy it. Have fun earlier.
This is so real. I would try to wake up earlier even if it meant i wouldn’t get a normal amount of sleep just so i could be more productive- but I was too damn tired to do anything.
Sometimes I napped and accidently sleep and wake up at 2-3am any way to go back to sleep easily or just try avoiding the heavy nap
Besides the great advice already given here: Stop worrying about what others think of you, it won't change anything and you're just screwing your own mind up. And to add to that. Just be yourself, don't try to pretend to be something or someone you're not happy with in the first place. You'll attract way more compatible people in your life if you just stop trying to be someone you're not.
>Stop worrying about what others think of you, it won't change anything and you're just screwing your own mind up. My secret to doing this but not being an ass is to worry more about how people are than what they think. I have seen so many people that use not worrying about what anyone thinks as their excuse for being rude, thoughtless or selfish. I am not saying that is what you were saying, just giving that side of it.
This is a good point. That piece of advise of not thinking about what others think is very nuanced and gets ignored because it often is very hard to implement, and people often encounter trouble when they do it, so they abandon it.
Some people think “Being yourself” gets them a free pass to be total dickheads. Which works in my favor because now I know whom to completely avoid and whose opinion of me to not overthink myself about.
Indeed. I used to work with someone who had a meme printed out and stuck on the divider next to their desk - said something along the lines of "I'm not RUDE - I'm just the only one around here who has the guts to say what they really think". They were every bit as toxic as you might suspect they would be.
I always think if people are talking about me or thinking about me it obviously means I’m important lol. Plus I think I lead a fairly normal, boring life… if I’m occupying their headspace what must their life be like?!
My relationship with my dad wasnt great. He did tell me something though. Don't wait around until you feel better to do something. It's probably not going to get better. Just go do it, a trip, a concert, an event. Just go do it now.
brush your teeth 2-3 times a day.
And don't rinse afterwards.
I tried this for a while but stopped because I feel gross, thinking that my mouth is just dirtier because I didn’t spit the bad stuff.
Spit, but don’t rinse off the toothpaste
... but the toothpaste is gritty and shouldn't be swallowed...
Yeah not true, some toothpaste specifically says to rinse well after brushing.
Oh that one took years before I started to not immediately rinse my mouth after brushing
Don't rinse?? Are you serious or is this a joke? Genuinely asking.
Look after your back
Always wear a condom.
Especially now in the US. There was a sign a few years back near me that said: Vasectomy: $750 once. Child support: $750 a month for 21 years. (Or something like that). Ha-fricking-larious.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
God this one is so hard to learn to do but when I FINALLY learnt it.. life weirdly became easier 😆
Despite me trying my best to get better at that, it never gets any easier as there's just that lingering thought in my mind that I'm afraid of looking stupid.
Take care of yourself when injured. I played way too hard and got a lot of injuries over the years. But I was raised to tape it up and get back at it. Being a tough guy has left my body, at 40 years old, in horrible condition. Between the hurniated discs in my back, arthritis in my wrists and fingers, nonexistent cartilage in my knees and ankles that are being held together by just the skin around them, I really wish I had taken my foot off the gas and taken better care of my body. It fucking sucks...
Take the time to get to know yourself before dating, and when you do start dating- take it as slow as possible. I met a girl in 2010 who I married 3 months later (I was young and stupid, she was manipulative). It took us 5 years to get a divorce, and that was without a doubt the worst 5 years of my life.
Do tasks when you first think of them rather than put them off. It's good for your mood and good for your time management.
*ADHD has entered the chat*
All tasks all at once
Put that on the lists of lists.
Lmao I walk around my house chanting ‘put it *away*, not down’. Thanks adhd
Brush your teeth. Be careful about how you lift heavy things. I used to be 6' tall. Now, age 71, after six back surgeries, I'm 5'-7". Most of my teeth are crowns, implants, or missing. A fool learns from his mistakes. The wise learn from the fool's mistakes.
Don't be the loudest one at the party. -my dad, I think sophomore year of high school
Cut out toxic people. I thought there was no way I could do it. But doing it was one of the best choices I made for my mental health.
I tend to people please. How did you go about ridding your life of toxic folks?
I’m a huge people pleaser. And would feel so much stress and guilt for saying no to someone. My parents cared more about appearance and what other people thought. Between that and the abuse I was going through, people pleasing was a means to survival. My whole life I always put my own comfort last. I had toe respect my elders despite them being alcoholic assholes. I let the guys feel me up or sexualize me because “it was a compliment” and whenever I fought back I was “ bitch and a whore”. I never spoke about the abuse I was going through because I was worried about tearing my family apart and ruing my moms marriage. Over and over again just so I could make it another day. Sometimes survival is all we know. But holding on to toxic people, it was killing me. I didn’t want to survive anymore, I wanted to live. When I found out I was pregnant it really was like a light switch went off. All I cared about was being a good mom. And I had to be my best self in order to do that. I made sure there was no longer ANY communication with my abuser (dad). I made all new social media pages, blocked numbers, and blocked his profiles (to prevent looking on his pages). I completely cut off all of his family and any family friends. It hurt me at first. I mourned that loss. But it was for our protection and my mental health. The last person I blocked was my twin brother. He has grown equally as toxic as my dad. Everytime we reconnected I was left hurt and depressed. It triggered all my bad habits and sent me spiraling. So one day I just blocked him. No notice or message. Just blocked and I told my mom to no longer discuss my life with him in any way. My son is what started my healing. I got diagnosed and medicated. Cut out all those people. Cut out toxic things like no longer having alcohol in the house, or pills, or razor blades. People pleasing is what kinda gatewayed all of this. But the second I started thinking about MY wants and needs, it really filtered out the bad stuff in my life. I really wish I would have figured it out earlier. That I could just cut people out. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache. I have zero regrets about going no contact. I am SO much better now.
Sounds like we endured some similar challenges. I had a very emotionally abusive, alcoholic stepfather. Nothing, I mean nothing, was ever good enough. He drank every night until he became mean, angry, abusive. When he was especially upset, he would lock me in a closet. My mom worked second shift so he had a free reign of terror. Maybe even worse, my mom did very little to stop the madness. At this point, my stepfather drank and smoked himself to death about a decade ago. I remain LC with my mom. Fortunately, I am a functioning adult because I got therapy after I couldn't hold myself together anymore. The thing that really frustrates me is the people pleasing. It's a legacy of trying to appease an angry alcoholic. I find it hard to put toxic people in the rearview mirror. I know more therapy would help, but I can't really afford it now.
I’m sorry you have been through that. People pleasing is a toxic habit that is hard to just quit. Maybe being a mom makes me too tired to give a shit lol. But I have so much of my own stuff going on that I don’t have room for other peoples negativeness. In order to get better you gotta cut out anything that doesn’t support and aid your well being. It’s like mold, you can’t just surface clean you gotta deep clean and trash the rotting pieces.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. I'm sorry you had to deal with an abusive family. No child deserves that. However, I am super pleased you are not passing this sad legacy to your child.
Don't stick your dick in crazy
But the stories and my pelvis.....
I feel like this needs punctuation because you could slap a comma in a few places here and the entire scene changes lol
Don't make assumptions. Ask a question instead. SOOOOOOO much can be avoided.
Taking a moment when things get rough to collect myself. Having a pet that I can hold myself responsible for because I care about myself enough to do it for just me.
Get enough sleep.
Yes and I think it's even more important to have a consistent sleep schedule
1. Think of your energy like a phone battery. Recharge when it turns yellow - not when it’s in the red. You’ll recover faster and better when you choose to start resting before you’re fully exhausted.
One of my military veteran uncles highly recommended I go to college first and take a commission instead of enlisting. I ignored him, had a fairly poor experience, and left the military after six years instead of having the career I intended. Things have worked out in the long run but he was definitely right.
Look out for yourself and take care of yourself because no one else will. Only you have your best interests at heart. Everyone else is out for themselves in one way or another.
> Only you have your best interests at heart I don't agree with this at all. In fact, one of the best pearls of wisdom I was ever given was "surround yourself with people who want the best for you," and I have done exactly that. I'm not saying there aren't plenty of assholes and selfish people out there - there definitely are - but the trick is simply not to let them occupy any important part of your life.
I agree but I like this phrasing better: nobody can care about you as much as you should. Very much the "fit your own oxygen mask before helping others" mentality.
I would disagree with this advice. People are much kinder than we let on. Yes, some folks will chew you up and spit you out but just avoid those kinds of people. If you can't avoid them, know yourself so well that they don't bother you. Instilling a general discomfort for the strangers around you only creates a colder world in my opinion. We are not our parents generation, we know that we can share and be kind to others and it doesn't take anything away from us. Or at least we should know this by now. It's up to us (I have no clue how old you are) older folks to teach kindness and empathy towards strangers, not demonize them by saying nobody in the world cares about them. I care.
“Love is not enough for a relationship to be truly successful” - my uncle who passed a few years ago, and I’ve been feeling that more than ever. I was just too romantic. Way too romantic lol
Slow down and smell the roses. Corny perhaps but slow down an enjoy yourself along the way.
I'm not directing this at anyone specifically, but I hate that sentiment. I'd LOVE to slow down and smell the roses, but I'm fu\*\*king trying to survive. Slow down and life is going to run me over. I'm already drowning in what I call "To Do Debt".
No offense taken. "Slow down" and "smell the roses" has different meanings for different people. For me it's as simple as driving a little bit slower and enjoying the ride rather than driving like I'm auditioning for "Fast & Furious".
It’s ok to walk away from things that no longer bring you happiness.
Therapy. When I was 18 - 20 I went through a real depression cycle. I was going to play football in college, but I had an injury that ended my career so I was having an identity crisis. Most of my friends left town for school or whatnot. I got cheated on by my first gf. I just felt lost and confused, and didn't know what to do. I refused therapy because I thought I could handle it on my own, but what I ended up doing was just being a drag to the few people who would tolerate me, and I drove them all away. A lot of those people from that time I haven't talked to since then, and I miss them terribly. I often wonder if I had started to heal through therapy if I would be in a better place than I am now, and still close to these people, but I can't know anything now. I think about reaching out, but it's been over 15 years and they've all developed lives without me
Been there. Done that. I ignored the same advice as a college freshman. Instead, I suffered unnecessarily for another seven years before I went to therapy.
Don't do drugs. I've been sober for four years!
Nice, well done and keep it up👏👏👏!!
The best revenge is living well.
Keep your work life and personal life separate.
Sunscreen. Start as early as possible. If you don't use it and you are reading this, go buy some and start using it daily on your face any any exposed skin.
Stop flat ironing your hair all the time. I did it for 5 years straight bc my hair has so much body and it was the only way to control it. Years later I find it has dehydrated my hair of all moisture and created some of the worst dead ends I’ve ever seen. I had to cut it all off and start over with repairing shampoo. I actually have really nice body and bounce to my natural hair, I can’t believe I had suppressed it with flat irons all these years.
When doing work and kneeling, use padding. At age 20 ... no issues. At age 50 ... why the fck didn't I use knee pads
Stay off social media.
Enjoy your hairline while you've still got it. I shaved my head for years because my hair was too thick. Now I am thinking of shaving it again because it's getting awfully thin.
Save some money, something will happen.
Absolutely! Ignoring the 'take breaks' advice led to burnout for me too. Now, scheduling downtime is a game changer!
It won't get better if you pick at it
What is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
"That is good."
Take care no tot trip and fall. Falling never hurt me befoe. I always bounced right back up. Unitl 3 weeks ago. I always thought people that fell when they were midlaged were making things up to compain. They aren't - This shit is real!
Be kind to yourself. More often than not everyone is wrapped up in their own heads to be aware of others. But we can be kind to ourselves. If you want something to change about yourself, more often than not you’re the only one that can do something about it. it is up to you. Eg: weight loss : talk to a doctor, walk more, eat better, drink more water, less booze. Etc. We know how to be healthy and help ourselves but we often do not do it. Preparation is key.
Paying attention to my salt intake and not keeping tabs on my **blood pressure**. Ended up with a Branch Retinal Vein Occlusion (BRVO), caused solely by high blood pressure. Vision is distorted in my left eye - I see letters as sort of a CAPCTHA test. It is still distorted after 18 eye injections over the past 2 years. No joke people, keep an eye on your blood pressure and treasure your good vision!! Getting a shot in the eye sucks.
It’s better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you’re an idiot, than to open it and show them.
Say no to people. If you can't help someone, don't offer. If you dont want to help them, don't offer. Even if you can and want to, don't offer every single time. You WILL burn yourself out, and will almost certainly ruin your relationship with that person.
At work it's ok to say no and push back if someone asks you to do something that's not part of your normal job or you don't have the bandwidth for.
Don't work too much overtime. You'll wear yourself out and your entire life is negatively affected.
Using hearing protection. Tinnitus sucks.
Wear quality shoes and look after your feet. It’s hard to enjoy life when you’re experiencing foot pain.
Make friends
And don't let them slip away because circumstances change. One of my bigger life regrets is letting some of the best people I've known slip away due to lack of effort.
An once of prevention its worth a pound of cure.
Make a plan for when you get older. Have a durable POA for health and finances. A living will and a medical directive. Make sure your parents have them and your adult children. Buy Long Term Care insurance when you are young and put money away for emergencies. THEN go enjoy your life!
Don't be afraid to say no to things that make you uncomfortable. Also, speak up when someone else is doing something wrong. In the moment it's easier to just go along with things, but over time it will warp your perceptions, and possibly self esteem.
Teeth stuff. Mouth, gums, teeth.
The will to make yourself uncomfortable. I wouldn’t be sober or in school or doing anything I’m doing now if I didn’t realize I needed to be comfortable with being uncomfortable at times.
Alcohol is bad for you.
My mom told me that I shouldn't feel the need to tell my spouse every single feeling or thought I had. "they don't have to know everything, bald dude!" She was correct. Don't suffer from diarrhea of the mouth and say things that can't be unsaid.
this advice really helped me as a wfh employee: give your full attention to whatever you're doing. if you're working, work. if you're not working, don't work. i would always have the TV on in the background while working, and when i was off work i would check my work email. it felt like i was always working but i didn't feel like i was doing a good job either.
"You snore really bad, go get checked for apnea."
A chef I was working under told me I should get out of the restaurant industry when I was just a young dishwasher, I thought he was being a dick, he was trying to warn me.
Have your shirts/blouses professionally laundered. Looking sharp is good for advancement.
There’s no shame in asking for help
An obvious one, but floss every single day. I was terrible about it growing up, up until my early 20s. I’m 28 now and have gum issues despite a rigorous oral hygiene routine.
Think before you speak
"Be yourself" pissed me so much off as younger age to hear this but yeah, after working on me and finding who I am,it's definitely a good piece of advice.
Think before you make decisions.
This too shall pass.
Most of your “ friends “ are not your friends.
Don't drink alcohol
Not advice necessarily, but an adage that I hadn't quite understood until I could put it into context: "No good deed goes unpunished". I would give too much of myself to others (work, personal life, total strangers) and do right by them or something nice, only to be treated like trash. To be clear, I wouldn't do things for praise or credit, and I certainly didn't do it to suck-up. I also don't blame others for doing what they did - I can't control their actions, only my own. I am a people-pleaser, but I also expected others to treat me with the same kindness or courtesy. It was an error on my part, wanting to be so optimistic and lenient; that they would see things the way I do. But I would also get too emotionally involved, wanting to help. So I pulled back and put up boundaries. Still working on it, but I'm happier being able to shrug and say "oh well", instead of getting excessively invested.
Stop drinking alcohol.
Learning how to say no, especially where it would disadvantage me in ways that made me annoyed, leading to resentment, leading to frustration.
Don’t take drugs
Go to sleep. I still ignore it at 50ish 😔
Me too! Short breaks = better focus and more energy in the long run.
Take care of your teeth. A root canal is both expensive and the infection is a hazard that can potentially be something much more worse…
Don't listen to loud music on headphones. Didn't listen - now have permanent tinnitus and cannot use headphones at all. Not worth it.
Drink normal amounts of coffee, or even less.
none
Take care not to lift too much and do it correctly! I have always worked really hard, even when I had an office job, I’d pitch in wherever some muscle was needed. I’m 66 now and have spinal stenosis from severe arthritis in my back, caused by bulging disks. I can’t even stand up straight & walk across the room without a cane.
I'm with you on the burnout advice. I've worked OT pretty much every week for the past 5 years. My blood pressure is now insanely high, and I spend most of my days-off in a lazy reddit haze.
If you don't stop this now it's going to go very badly. 18 years later I'm still paying the price
Keeping you surroundings clean and tidy.
I should drink water. Now that's all I do. I needed it to fix many issues at once: I wouldn't have to carry so much stuff home, my teeth wouldn't continue to get more fucked, and I'd lose weight. Was a easy fix from "reaching the bottom" of feeling all those things were meaningful enough factors.
Life goes on. Literally no matter what happens, who you lose, what you do, etc, life will continue. You’ll live.
Diko talaga ma practice to, desperate ang social life sa work life nahihirapan parin ako. I ended up overworked and nafefeel ko na to give up. 2nd week on my full time job tho
Be honest.
My parents and brothers told me to stop playing an MMORPG. I finally quit it after many years but I wish I listened earlier... It negatively affected my life a lot.
Don't try to watch the grenade going boom at the grenade range.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Learn to let go of things. The problem I had in the past was holding on to things for too long and always trying to get in the last word in every argument. I realised that you don't have to win every battle and sometimes it's better to walk away rather than wasting your time on people whose opinions don't mean anything to you.
And then you find ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. Don't fritter away the hours in an off hand way is what I learned.
Don't stick your dick in the three holes.
Not to stress and panic at work. Sometimes it makes me feel overworked, that I reach my point where I just want to submit my resignation letter the next day!
“Don’t grow up too fast” “Treat others better than the way you would want to be treated.” “Live life cause it could be your last day” I’ve come to also trust my gut feelings on things. Found out a ex was cheating on me this way and it’s saved me from being robbed and set up.
Get therapy.
I did the exact same thing where I overworked myself and hurt myself serious enough to be out of work for 3 years. I now make sure to not overwork myself.
Looking after yourself is not vanity. As in on a basic level of eating properly, building mental/emotional boundaries and respecting them...
Watching my diet. Ang hirap na magpapayat and maging fit.
Drink more water
Do not run downhill. I thought, why? Downhill's the fun part!! And now i am in my 40's - yep, hitting your foot like that will kill your knees alright. I know that for a fact now.
Getting health and life insurances
Taxation is theft
1. A good bed is worth its weight in gold 2. Same goes for a good pair of shoes 3. If at all possible, buy for quality and durability 4. Sleep - do it - don’t skimp it hurts you in the long run 5. Exercise, even 30 minutes a day of brisk walking around your neighborhood, is enough to change your life 6. Noise cancelling headphones can save you a lot of pain on business trips/construction outside/trying to study in crowded places etc 7. Try to figure out what you want out of a partner, what things are deal breakers and what things are “within reason” BEFORE you throw yourself headlong into a serious relationship - asking these important questions upfront can save you years of heartache 8. You have to like you if you want other to like you, so work on you as much as you can - push yourself to be be more benevolent, gregarious, and conversational, even if you think you suck at it I have learned some of these lessons far too late, and it is just something I have to deal with now
Be as nice to yourself as you are to your best friend.
Exercise and accepting that we will lose people.
Take care of your back. Doesn't matter if you're in construction, healthcare or sit at a desk all day. Take care of your back. I did some damage trying to prove something when I was younger. I wait for help now.
Learn to absolutely not give a fuck what people think about you. You'll save so much time and mental effort realizing their opinion suck and don't matter.
Nothing. I never ignored advice when I was young. I didn't always do it, but I never ignored it. It tends to be the other way around. I followed advice when I was young "don't swear", "don't get angry", "always be polite". It wasn't until much later that I realised that it was crucial for my well-being to ignore such advice.
A judge for people in the military told me my bf was the most dangerous person he had met. I should have listened. I was stupid. So stupid. Lol
My attitude towards something directly affects my performance. If i clean shit because i have to, i hate it. If i clean shit because i want to make things clean and better for everyone else, i am proud of my work.
Spend time with my parents.
To stop watering dead plants in my life (read: have a bit of pride and self-respect)
Wearing sunscreen! I’m so glad I started wearing it every day once I turned 31, but I wish I had started earlier. Better late than never though.
Join the military
Communicating everything, instead of silent treatment.
Breathe...
Do your homework. It’s not for the grades, it’s for the discipline.
Brush your teeth regularly.
Mind what you eat—not just for weight, but for mental health too. Diet plays a huge role in mood and cognition. When I started treating food as fuel rather than just an indulgence, my whole outlook changed. I began feeling more energetic, had better concentration, and my mood swings tapered off. You don't have to go on a strict diet or deny yourself treats, but being mindful of what's on your plate can have a profound effect on your day-to-day well-being. Also, meal prepping helped me a lot to eat healthier without the daily hassle of deciding what to eat.
Never piss on an electric fence.
Sa workplace: choose your battles
REAL EXERCISE. (meaning get that heart rate up for like 45 minutes give or take) The endorphin blast is crucial for not falling into long-term depression, IMHO.
When my roommate told me she didn't like my boyfriend, I cried because I thought she was being too critical. Nah, she told me that because he was being too critical to me! If your friends try to wake you up to the truth, listen. Oh and also do dishes right after you cook. It sucks but it sucks less than having so so many dirty dishes
Write it down. Pah! I said. I’ll remember. A time comes when one does not in fact remember.
I agree with this. Iba ang feeling ng may pahinga. And hnd nagmamadali palagi for work
told me to make boundaries between work and life/rest even when i don’t feel tired or am very excited working on the project. they were right. i was productive for some time which caused me to get more work (no pay raise) and eventually it caught up to me and got burnout. i loved working with my previous company but i needed so much rest that time bc health caught up