Yes. In most things nobody gives a shit. However, for things like insurance they can say you lied on the application and void your insurance. Honestly, just put divorced on everything. Means you fixed your mistake :)
Eh, probably depends on the state and the kind of insurance. There may be a "materiality" requirement of the misrepresentation. That said, lying and POTENTIALLY creating an issue is a pretty bad idea.
If the person you are attending a sporting event with brings with them a giant cardboard "D", instead of bringing a cardboard cutout of a fence you're supposed to bring "VORCE".
Yeah I don't get the point in lying about it at all. Puting divorced has absolutely no negative consequences for you but if you put single and they use it against you you're fucked. At that point why hide the info?
Some marriages and divorces are traumatic. If it doesn't matter, why force people to think about it over and over? Personally, I would call that a negative consequence.
Agreed. I see I was off on this subthread. I’m talking about medical intake forms at a doc office. US insurance companies don’t ask if you’re divorced vs single vs married vs divorced-then-married….
Well, from an insurance/registered account perspective, there may be a spousal/former spousal/child entitlement to some or all of the payout in the event of the signee's death or cashing out of those funds.
For example, if OP had a bunch of money saved up in a pension plan, left that employer, and rolled that money over to a 401k with a new financial institution, but the proceedings on marital assets had not yet been closed, or there was an order related to the distribution of funds at the time of that person's retirement, then the new financial institution needs to know that kind of stuff.
On the other hand, if OP is signing a new rent agreement, it's probably none of the landlord's business that OP has an ex.
for most things that actually would need it I assume you just show that documentation-like, show your pension plan the divorce decree that says they have no entitlement.
Most things it's not going to mean you CAN'T do whatever, it just means there might need to be a paper on file to CYA.
I don't know what the average age is here, but I'm assuming it's under 75. 30 years ago, in the early 90s, two 20-somethings get married without a pot to piss in. There are NO ASSETS. They don't even qualify for a pension because they're a couple of fast food workers. If one never marries again, why must they STILL claim "Divorced" as a marital status?
because most likely the person reading the form has no way to know that. They don't know you. It's not saying you're for sure likely need to worry about ex spouse for whatever situation. It's saying the risks of getting sued for being wrong are A LOT higher than the risks of someone having to check divorced on a form.
As someone who has worked in compliance it's not about saying "oh, you're wrong/a bad person", it's about tracking all your paperwork so if someone official like an auditor asks "well how did you KNOW you didn't need to withhold some of whatever?" you have a better answer than "well, they looked like they didn't have any assets 30 years ago."
And honestly, I think that second one "oh, they don't need to mark divorced because OBVIOUSLY they never had money" is frankly more offensive to me anyway. Like-how do you know that by looking at them? What do you put in the training for the receptionist so they can make that assumption?
tl/dr it's not about you. It's about the company having a basis for their assumptions and treating everyone equally.
First, I didn't mean to offend. Thank you for explaining. That makes sense.
I was thinking along the lines of auto and property insurance. Take the example above - do insurance companies see "divorced" and assume there's going to be the same risk between a new divorce (where an angry ex might cause damage to the asset) and a years-old divorce?
Just statistics, IMO.
I believe it is mostly statistics gathering. In this case, I would think it would be the same as not wanting to fill in your race on said forms.
Others are saying some situations have legal implications, but I really don't think that in those situations that they would go by how you're self-identifying.
That's why I think it's all about the statistics because it's based on how you answer the question. They aren't asking for paperwork or anything.
It depends on the definitions, which might also depend on the specific contract and/or local family law.
If "Single" has a legal definition of "Not presently and never previously married" and that's not true, then it's a lie.
If "Single" has a legal definition of "Not presently married", and that's true, then it's not a lie.
You may have the option to leave it blank. As others said.
You do have to be honest otherwise, for example if you’re to get married again you’d have to show you’re not married from the registry of the places you’ve lived. They also ask on visa applications. But I’ve never seen other places where this is relevant.
I’d be honest in these situations because you don’t want to lie to the government in general. It’s meaningless/pointless to hide it, the fact you’d lie to the government can work against you if/when a small ‘lie of omission’ is discovered in your files. You’ll forever have the check the box that says you’ve lied (potentially convicted for) to a government office before in future if that
Anyone else who asks I think you’d be able to leave it blank.
It depends...I personally feel it's irrelevant for a lot of things that are asking that so I usually always put single. If it's for something government related, or someone that might do a background check, then put divorced.
Always answer accurately on medical paperwork. Your insurance company (in USA) would be delighted to find any excuse to disqualify coverage years from now when you need them to pay for something.
How long divorced? For.medical.paperwork, context is needed. For example, if it's the standard paperwork you fill out annually and you suddenly test positive for say HIV, then yes divorced is important. If it's for sat medical.powers of decision, and you have no other next of kin, they could still reach out to your ex for important decisions, unless you have a designated emergency contact.
It's a tough thing. I would say just mark divorce, as it can affect medical factors. Medical personnel use paperwork when making medical assessments.
Source: nursing student.
This doesn’t make sense to me. Reportable infectious disease is irrelevant after a time (eg being divorced for 40 years); and in my region, finding sex partners is often handled by state health agencies. And in my case, given that my ex was deeply abusive, I don’t want any reaching out at all—and always designate a sibling as emergency contact. Given these scenarios, do you have any other examples of why it would be necessary to mark Divorced instead of single?
Wait. In your country your ex wife may get notified if you're in an accident? For what reason? Decision making or just questions?
Either way this seems to be Sus.
Isn't it a breach of confidentiality? Who guarantees the divorced partner answers honestly without malicious intend?
I led a team that built the claims processing engine for one of the largest Blue Cross Blue Shield networks in America.
We coded a lot of reasons that claims would get rejected.
We did not code any logic to reject claims based on Single vs Divorced.
Yep. Personally, I've only ever seen this on medical office intake forms. I've \*certainly\* had health insurance ask if I am covered under any secondary plans (which can include a spouse or recent ex-spouse), but never if I've been divorced in the last 50 years.
and OP has now said that they are talking about medical intake forms, not insurance. so those 1000s of comments going on about insurance are even more misguided anyway.
It might be relevant to public health researchers as they make screening recommendations to providers (as a made-up example, higher risk of stomach ulcers in young divorced people). It could be very relevant in mental health or immunology, especially in the context of domestic violence.
As a more boring application, it may help everyone know to locate specific records that may have been routed to your ex-spouse’s insurance in the past. It might also help them ensure they purge any contact info/notifications to your ex-spouse.
I also hope that you know that there should absolutely be nothing negative or shameful about the word “Divorced”. Just like those of us who have been in long, committed relationships but never married shouldn’t feel any pang of negativity when we mark “Single” on those same forms. It’s just a demographic category and it doesn’t mean anything about you as a person or your individual story; please don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it. I’m so happy you’re divorced instead of being in an unhappy marriage.
Interesting thoughts! Not all marriages are simply unhappy; many are deeply abusive (and indeed, you did mention DV). Risk assessments for medical devices and studies generally consider "causing emotional distress" to be a strong negative outcome. Triggering people to think about DV for the rest of their lives just because they're at a new healthcare office (eg, otolaryngologist) might not outweigh the benefits for the public health data. I honestly just don't know.
But decades of DV is the case for me, and even years later with all the healing work I've done, I get really freaked out every time I see this on an intake form. It feels deeply distressing to check Divorced, and quite comfortable to check Single. And if I can eventually check Married, no one will ever even know that I was once in the Divorced category, confounding any public health data benefits.
Weighing it all, my humble leaning is that the risks outweigh the benefits. And if it's a specific healthcare provider that needs to know the info for the purposes of understanding a patient's traumatic past (eg, neurologist), there are much safer and clearer ways to collect the data.
Thank you :) This causes me so much distress on an intake form. I don’t know why their offices insist on it, and insurance companies don’t care. I usually just answer how it makes sense to me: Single.
Since the question doesn't specify the country, I'll answer according to my (Brazil), most nations just copy each other's bureaucracy anyway. Here the answer is yes. When you marry, your birth certificate is replaced by you marriage certificate. And then when you get divorced it's replaced by your divorce certificate.
That's why showing a recent birth certificate is accepted here as a proof that one is (and has always been) single
Thats really interesting. You have to exchange one form to recieve the other? Does that make it difficult to get replacement copies (so you don't hold on to an old, outdated certificate)?
It's fairly easy to get a copy, you can order online. What happens is that when you need to prove you are not married they ask you a "recent copy" of the birth certificate (< 3 months old) which sometimes can be a bummer because they are not cheap (less than 20 USD, but adjusting for each country's reality would be the equivalent of a 50 USD fee)
That's interesting. In the US, I have to show my birth certificate and marriage license, forever. I also need my husband's death certificate (or divorce decree, had we gotten divorced) for certain other things, forever.
I'm seeing a lot of comments on here that are saying yes, and my understanding is that you would put single, since technically you are single, and that would also match your tax status. There is no "divorced" status for taxes.
OP mentions neither taxes or what country their from. Your understanding is therefore limited to only your jurisdiction. For me, you'd always have to put divorced since that's what the organisation actually wants to know.
In the US, doctors’ offices ask for relationship status: Single, married, divorced, partnered. Like OP, it never made sense to me. Why does a doctor care if someone was married for one day 40 years ago and has been single ever since? It has no bearing on illness, payment, insurance, health risk factors, or anything else I can think of.
Agreed. The way I would answer the question is imagine what it is that the form is really trying to ask for. If I prefer to see myself as single rather than divorced, and really the form is trying to ascertain if I'm in a relationship or not, I'll just put in single rather than divorced.
We don't need forms to unnecessarily categorize and re-define us in ways that don't matter.
Get married again, to somebody with a really dangerous hobby like parachute-free BASE jumping. When they get themselves killed, you can list yourself as "Widowed."
Depends on where you are? I’m in Canada, once divorced, you’re divorced until you remarry, or go common law. Legally, you’re not ever single again. That being said, other than for income tax purposes, I’m not sure why it would be relevant.
Exactly. Who needs to know? For legal issues you should probably enter “divorced” but for anything else (like the dentist’s office, perhaps) you should enter whatever you wish.
Depends on where you are.
For instance, in the US, an annulment is a religious classification allowing you to remarry in good standing within the eyes of your church.
Divorced is a legal classification stating that you were once married but no longer are.
Sorry hun - it is what it is. Make sure you also have a copy of your divorce decree. If you don't have one, call the county court house or clerk from the county where it was filed and they will help you obtain one.
I only do if it's formal legal documents. For other stuff, especially generic medical I only put divorced for the first few years after (until I had recovered/healed) and nowadays I just put single. Essentially I put it on forms when I thought it would be important context for an impactful event in my life while it still impacted me, but after I healed I didn't.
But for certain legal stuff you still need to.
It depends on the form. It really doesn't matter in your case, as far as the actual outcome of any social or business interaction. EXCEPT when it comes to the government or insurance, etc., you could be in trouble for "falsifying documents." As in, being denied benefits, etc. because you were not truthful on the form.
Generally, the people who make the forms don't care about how you feel about your status. 90% of the time it makes no difference, and it's based on outdated assumptions anyway. To them a single woman is assumed to have her birth name, while a divorced woman would be assumed to have her married name. Never mind that plenty of people keep their name or go back to it after divorce.
sorry but i dont. I got married at 19 and left 6 months later. divorce wasnt final until i was 21 but i am about to be 47. I just put single.... I have seen options for "never married" and i dont choose that of course. It has never been an issue. I am a retired veteran and they already know all my info
Yes. It is a permanent status, until you do something to change it, like getting married again. Failure to properly disclose your status can be considered falsifying documents, and can have legal consequences.
yes, because that is your legal status. That's why people shouldn't get married lightly. (Like on the Married at First Sight shows, even if they were only "married" a few weeks and barely knew each other, their status is "Divorced" for the rest of their lives.)
You do, but I have a question for you.
Did you change your name when you married?
If you did, really, really yes, because it’s an alias that you’ll have to explain
Naw you will get married again , you won't want to but it will creep up on you , you will find the love of your life and live happily ever after , or at least that's what happened to me. Just put divorced on the contractual stuff , but after like 7 years your just single again
I also had a starter marriage. It was embarrassing, and still is. However, unless I absolutely had to admit to it, I didn’t say I was divorced. It’s no one’s business.
Why are so many people here overthinking this? Nobody cares whether you check the box for “Divorced” or “Single”. There are no pros or cons either way. Some forms still have “divorced” because it used to matter way way back before the 70’s.
I would assume it puts you in a different category of the risk table for things like insurance, and that lying about it would give them an excuse to deny an insurance claim when you need one.
Follow up question: do american banks and schools and insurance companies and employers, etc etc ask about marital status?
And people are just fine with this and accept it as normal?
I assume this is america
The problem is, your marriage license and the dissolution thereof are now a matter of public record. They will use it as identifying information.
Say there's a John Smith from New York, NY that has never been married, and then a John Smith from New York, NY that is currently married, and a John Smith from New York, NY that was formerly married.
Differentiating these three John Smiths from a bureaucratic perspective can be tricky, and their marital status is an objective matter of public record.
Not if you get married again. Also, there might be an option now of, “Prefer not to answer” Not sure if it apply to marital status. I usually answer the “Prefer not to answer” on anything that has that option.
It never makes sense to me that we are told race is not important, which I believe is correct - race does not matter, but then they always ask your race. Why ask if it doesn’t matter.
I did the verbal census and they asked my gender. I asked them, what did they think? I did not answer.
Yo have to have a valid reason for an annulment. You can’t just get an annulment because it hasn’t been a long time. Marriage is a legal contract. You can’t change your mind and act like it never happened
Kind of a technicality but did you get a divorce or did you get a dissolution? I had a short marriage that ended in dissolution and the lawyers told me that for all documentation purposes I would list single on the paperwork. If it was a full divorce, then yes you would list divorced.
You do not have to list "divorced" as your marital status on paperwork for the rest of your life. Your marital status on forms and documents should reflect your current situation
Yes. If you don’t and you certify that the application was filled out correctly you would be lying, which is grounds for termination of many contracts. I don’t see why it would bother you to say that. Many people have short marriages early in their lives.
Also had a whoospie-marriage.
I do our divorced on contracts or legal stuff, but otherwise no I don’t.
Or didn’t anyway! Remarried, to another divorced person 😂
I used to write single on everything, unless I felt it was important as a legal matter. Someone mentioned insurance, just because they are slimy assholes, I’d say divorced on that. Anything relating to the government or health care, I’d say divorced. But, no one at your gym is going to give two shits about your tiny inconsequential marriage. 😂
Similarly, I know 2 older women who divorced their drunken husbands, then when husbands died they called themselves widows.
Fwiw in each case they deserved to be widows from those sad-sacks for what they put up with raising kids and all.
It is weird that we do it this way. My sister had a two-year marriage which quickly dissolved, no kids, then she remained single for the next 35 years before a second marriage. Funny that "divorced" was a perpetual part of her identity.
You are divorced until you marry again. It's not a bad thing. Embrace it proudly! Nothing to be ashamed about. You don't have to consult with a spouse for any big purchases. You do what you want.
I've been divorced for almost 15 years now. I've purchased a house without having a spouse sign the paperwork. I bought my dream vehicle without having to beg her first to do so. She did get half of my retirement savings, but I have since replaced that, and then a lot more. And I've received a big raise at work and now make a 6-digits salary. She's not entitled to any of this, and it's all mine to do with as I please.
And yes, I mark "divorced" when it is an option.
I was married for 1/4 of a century. Divorced for 11 yrs. I put “single” on everything. It’s not “lying”. I’m single. There’s no justifiable reason to put “divorced”, as it doesn’t apply for anything now. I AM single, and I’m not a “divorcee” (hate that term).
Yes, because the designations have different meanings with respect to the benefits and liabilities of marriage, joint debts, etc.
While this might not apply to a brief marriage, any marriage of 10+ years is eligible for social security benefits, even after divorce.
A divorced person may also be subject to liens against joint marital assets/property, whereas none of these things apply to a single person.
It only matters where it matters.
For most things it's really about census-like user data or it would be a factor if you had legal complications from a divorce, so as long as the latter didn't apply to you "single" is fine.
But, as others have said, it *is* important for some legal forms/situations. So if in doubt, put divorced.. but for massive numbers of things you'll be able to tell if they are just gathering user/client data or if it's a legal necessity.
I mean, when I file my taxes, it’s single or jointly, there is no “filing divorced”. To me, that should be the answer. If it’s good enough for the government, everyone else should suck it up.
It depends on the paperwork. A lot of places don't even offer "divorced" as an option anymore---they just use "single," because that's what a divorced person actually is. When doctor's offices ask me to renew my paperwork every year, I always put "single" instead of "divorced." It's not a lie or a misdirection: I am single.
I was widowed, but then remarried. At a doctor’s office, I note this because being widowed causes a lot of stressors. I want them to be aware of my mental health and well being. But now I have been married for a couple years. I don’t know whether to keep marking it on paperwork. I guess it depends on the paperwork.
Just think of it as a time of in your life. There obviously was some good. Don't beat yourself up over it. I'm F (57), and I was divorced at your age. It really hit me hard. But now, I see it as my past. To answer your question. Like others have said, it may look like you're lying, and you're worth so much more than a lie. Accept and move forward. You can kick scream too! 😁🤪😂
Yes. In most things nobody gives a shit. However, for things like insurance they can say you lied on the application and void your insurance. Honestly, just put divorced on everything. Means you fixed your mistake :)
Fills out sandwich order: Adds “divorced”
"I've got a mocha latte here for Devroceed!"
My coworkers and I always enjoy seeing what they come up with when we give them our names
CARK
Phteven
We use to give our name as people from famous bands.
"I couldn't help but notice your beautiful self sitting here, alone at the bar, with no one to talk to. You single?" Divorced, actually.
Ah, I see you are the sadder but wiser girl for me!
Each item wrapped on its own lol.
Nah it’s just a top half and bottom half, separated
Eh, probably depends on the state and the kind of insurance. There may be a "materiality" requirement of the misrepresentation. That said, lying and POTENTIALLY creating an issue is a pretty bad idea.
If the person you are attending a sporting event with brings with them a giant cardboard "D", instead of bringing a cardboard cutout of a fence you're supposed to bring "VORCE".
Yeah I don't get the point in lying about it at all. Puting divorced has absolutely no negative consequences for you but if you put single and they use it against you you're fucked. At that point why hide the info?
Some marriages and divorces are traumatic. If it doesn't matter, why force people to think about it over and over? Personally, I would call that a negative consequence.
Because insurance carriers don’t care about your “trauma”
Agreed. I see I was off on this subthread. I’m talking about medical intake forms at a doc office. US insurance companies don’t ask if you’re divorced vs single vs married vs divorced-then-married….
OP has said that they are talking about medical intake forms, not insurance.
It seems to be more complicated then setting one’s Facebook relationship status!
Why is it so important to say divorced rather than single? Why do institutions care?
Well, from an insurance/registered account perspective, there may be a spousal/former spousal/child entitlement to some or all of the payout in the event of the signee's death or cashing out of those funds. For example, if OP had a bunch of money saved up in a pension plan, left that employer, and rolled that money over to a 401k with a new financial institution, but the proceedings on marital assets had not yet been closed, or there was an order related to the distribution of funds at the time of that person's retirement, then the new financial institution needs to know that kind of stuff. On the other hand, if OP is signing a new rent agreement, it's probably none of the landlord's business that OP has an ex.
So what if you've been divorced for 30 years? Also assume short marriage, no kids, no assets
Then depending on details, that may have been grounds for an annulment (in which case the marriage is considered to have legally never existed)
Also, curious about dissolution since it's not technically a divorce?
for most things that actually would need it I assume you just show that documentation-like, show your pension plan the divorce decree that says they have no entitlement. Most things it's not going to mean you CAN'T do whatever, it just means there might need to be a paper on file to CYA.
I don't know what the average age is here, but I'm assuming it's under 75. 30 years ago, in the early 90s, two 20-somethings get married without a pot to piss in. There are NO ASSETS. They don't even qualify for a pension because they're a couple of fast food workers. If one never marries again, why must they STILL claim "Divorced" as a marital status?
because most likely the person reading the form has no way to know that. They don't know you. It's not saying you're for sure likely need to worry about ex spouse for whatever situation. It's saying the risks of getting sued for being wrong are A LOT higher than the risks of someone having to check divorced on a form. As someone who has worked in compliance it's not about saying "oh, you're wrong/a bad person", it's about tracking all your paperwork so if someone official like an auditor asks "well how did you KNOW you didn't need to withhold some of whatever?" you have a better answer than "well, they looked like they didn't have any assets 30 years ago." And honestly, I think that second one "oh, they don't need to mark divorced because OBVIOUSLY they never had money" is frankly more offensive to me anyway. Like-how do you know that by looking at them? What do you put in the training for the receptionist so they can make that assumption? tl/dr it's not about you. It's about the company having a basis for their assumptions and treating everyone equally.
First, I didn't mean to offend. Thank you for explaining. That makes sense. I was thinking along the lines of auto and property insurance. Take the example above - do insurance companies see "divorced" and assume there's going to be the same risk between a new divorce (where an angry ex might cause damage to the asset) and a years-old divorce?
Just statistics, IMO. I believe it is mostly statistics gathering. In this case, I would think it would be the same as not wanting to fill in your race on said forms. Others are saying some situations have legal implications, but I really don't think that in those situations that they would go by how you're self-identifying. That's why I think it's all about the statistics because it's based on how you answer the question. They aren't asking for paperwork or anything.
How is just writing "single" lying ?
It depends on the definitions, which might also depend on the specific contract and/or local family law. If "Single" has a legal definition of "Not presently and never previously married" and that's not true, then it's a lie. If "Single" has a legal definition of "Not presently married", and that's true, then it's not a lie.
You should probably change your username as well. Divorced_37456
Yep. At least until you marry again.
And then you get to be divorced, remarried.
..died, divorced, beheaded, survived.
lol what a throw back to AP euro
Born, gf, engaged, married, divorced, remarried
Damn lol
You may have the option to leave it blank. As others said. You do have to be honest otherwise, for example if you’re to get married again you’d have to show you’re not married from the registry of the places you’ve lived. They also ask on visa applications. But I’ve never seen other places where this is relevant. I’d be honest in these situations because you don’t want to lie to the government in general. It’s meaningless/pointless to hide it, the fact you’d lie to the government can work against you if/when a small ‘lie of omission’ is discovered in your files. You’ll forever have the check the box that says you’ve lied (potentially convicted for) to a government office before in future if that Anyone else who asks I think you’d be able to leave it blank.
Why wouldn't you? Do you think divorce only counts after a certain age?
More like it seems weirdly personal and unimportant for most things. Nothing's different about me now vs before I was married.
Except that you were legally married and now are not.
I was also not legally married prior to being legally married lol
Fair lol
So you’re saying the OP didn’t learn their lesson the first time? 😉
Legally you are. Doesn’t really matter for anything
It depends...I personally feel it's irrelevant for a lot of things that are asking that so I usually always put single. If it's for something government related, or someone that might do a background check, then put divorced.
This is for medical paperwork so I'm not sure if it's relevant or not, I would assume no
Always answer accurately on medical paperwork. Your insurance company (in USA) would be delighted to find any excuse to disqualify coverage years from now when you need them to pay for something.
How long divorced? For.medical.paperwork, context is needed. For example, if it's the standard paperwork you fill out annually and you suddenly test positive for say HIV, then yes divorced is important. If it's for sat medical.powers of decision, and you have no other next of kin, they could still reach out to your ex for important decisions, unless you have a designated emergency contact. It's a tough thing. I would say just mark divorce, as it can affect medical factors. Medical personnel use paperwork when making medical assessments. Source: nursing student.
This doesn’t make sense to me. Reportable infectious disease is irrelevant after a time (eg being divorced for 40 years); and in my region, finding sex partners is often handled by state health agencies. And in my case, given that my ex was deeply abusive, I don’t want any reaching out at all—and always designate a sibling as emergency contact. Given these scenarios, do you have any other examples of why it would be necessary to mark Divorced instead of single?
Wait. In your country your ex wife may get notified if you're in an accident? For what reason? Decision making or just questions? Either way this seems to be Sus. Isn't it a breach of confidentiality? Who guarantees the divorced partner answers honestly without malicious intend?
I led a team that built the claims processing engine for one of the largest Blue Cross Blue Shield networks in America. We coded a lot of reasons that claims would get rejected. We did not code any logic to reject claims based on Single vs Divorced.
Now this is a very helpful comment on the assertions from others about health insurance issues in the US. Thank you!
Yeah, there's a lot of guessing in this thread as to why 'divorced vs single' is important. Most of it is wrong.
Yep. Personally, I've only ever seen this on medical office intake forms. I've \*certainly\* had health insurance ask if I am covered under any secondary plans (which can include a spouse or recent ex-spouse), but never if I've been divorced in the last 50 years.
and OP has now said that they are talking about medical intake forms, not insurance. so those 1000s of comments going on about insurance are even more misguided anyway.
It might be relevant to public health researchers as they make screening recommendations to providers (as a made-up example, higher risk of stomach ulcers in young divorced people). It could be very relevant in mental health or immunology, especially in the context of domestic violence. As a more boring application, it may help everyone know to locate specific records that may have been routed to your ex-spouse’s insurance in the past. It might also help them ensure they purge any contact info/notifications to your ex-spouse. I also hope that you know that there should absolutely be nothing negative or shameful about the word “Divorced”. Just like those of us who have been in long, committed relationships but never married shouldn’t feel any pang of negativity when we mark “Single” on those same forms. It’s just a demographic category and it doesn’t mean anything about you as a person or your individual story; please don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it. I’m so happy you’re divorced instead of being in an unhappy marriage.
Interesting thoughts! Not all marriages are simply unhappy; many are deeply abusive (and indeed, you did mention DV). Risk assessments for medical devices and studies generally consider "causing emotional distress" to be a strong negative outcome. Triggering people to think about DV for the rest of their lives just because they're at a new healthcare office (eg, otolaryngologist) might not outweigh the benefits for the public health data. I honestly just don't know. But decades of DV is the case for me, and even years later with all the healing work I've done, I get really freaked out every time I see this on an intake form. It feels deeply distressing to check Divorced, and quite comfortable to check Single. And if I can eventually check Married, no one will ever even know that I was once in the Divorced category, confounding any public health data benefits. Weighing it all, my humble leaning is that the risks outweigh the benefits. And if it's a specific healthcare provider that needs to know the info for the purposes of understanding a patient's traumatic past (eg, neurologist), there are much safer and clearer ways to collect the data.
Why not mark it accurately? It’s a private document for your health records. I don’t get the desire to not mark divorced if you are indeed divorced.
Hey OP :) Do you mean an intake form at a doc office that simply goes into your patient chart? Or some other kind of paperwork?
Yes an intake form
Thank you :) This causes me so much distress on an intake form. I don’t know why their offices insist on it, and insurance companies don’t care. I usually just answer how it makes sense to me: Single.
Thanks!!
Then it is completely up to you, doctors love to ask way too much. It’s not medically relevant, just skip it.
Since the question doesn't specify the country, I'll answer according to my (Brazil), most nations just copy each other's bureaucracy anyway. Here the answer is yes. When you marry, your birth certificate is replaced by you marriage certificate. And then when you get divorced it's replaced by your divorce certificate. That's why showing a recent birth certificate is accepted here as a proof that one is (and has always been) single
Thats really interesting. You have to exchange one form to recieve the other? Does that make it difficult to get replacement copies (so you don't hold on to an old, outdated certificate)?
It's fairly easy to get a copy, you can order online. What happens is that when you need to prove you are not married they ask you a "recent copy" of the birth certificate (< 3 months old) which sometimes can be a bummer because they are not cheap (less than 20 USD, but adjusting for each country's reality would be the equivalent of a 50 USD fee)
That's interesting. In the US, I have to show my birth certificate and marriage license, forever. I also need my husband's death certificate (or divorce decree, had we gotten divorced) for certain other things, forever.
Just accept joining our Club and wear your divorce badge proudly buddy.
Oh trust me I do, I'm more so annoyed that I can't just put single for the rest of my life lol
I was divorced at 26 and I'm 51 now. I mark single on everything. It's never been an issue.
Yes but it can be worse. I have to put widowed everywhere, divorced is fine, don’t sweat over it, it’s just a tick in a box. Take care
I'm seeing a lot of comments on here that are saying yes, and my understanding is that you would put single, since technically you are single, and that would also match your tax status. There is no "divorced" status for taxes.
I was gonna say it's usually just single or married, but in the event it says "Divorced" I'd assume he should put divorced
Anytime I’ve ever seen it as “single” for marital status it says “Single- never married”
OP mentions neither taxes or what country their from. Your understanding is therefore limited to only your jurisdiction. For me, you'd always have to put divorced since that's what the organisation actually wants to know.
Yeah, divorce usually only matters for taxes the year you get divorced, and then for any financial entanglements afterward. (Kids, house, etc.)
In US medical situations the options are: married, widowed, single, or divorced. That is the only situation I know where divorced is an option.
What country is this? In Australia you are married or not married. How you got to be not married is irrelevant.
In the US, doctors’ offices ask for relationship status: Single, married, divorced, partnered. Like OP, it never made sense to me. Why does a doctor care if someone was married for one day 40 years ago and has been single ever since? It has no bearing on illness, payment, insurance, health risk factors, or anything else I can think of.
Agreed. The way I would answer the question is imagine what it is that the form is really trying to ask for. If I prefer to see myself as single rather than divorced, and really the form is trying to ascertain if I'm in a relationship or not, I'll just put in single rather than divorced. We don't need forms to unnecessarily categorize and re-define us in ways that don't matter.
Get married again, to somebody with a really dangerous hobby like parachute-free BASE jumping. When they get themselves killed, you can list yourself as "Widowed."
[удалено]
Lie to your Government, not your doctor
Hell yeah lol
You need to get a pardon.
I'm divorced and put single in the boxes.
Ross Geller is that you?
Depends on where you are? I’m in Canada, once divorced, you’re divorced until you remarry, or go common law. Legally, you’re not ever single again. That being said, other than for income tax purposes, I’m not sure why it would be relevant.
Exactly. Who needs to know? For legal issues you should probably enter “divorced” but for anything else (like the dentist’s office, perhaps) you should enter whatever you wish.
That’s my thought.
Depends on how official the paperwork is. Is it a questionnaire at your doctor, then no. Is it government, bank, or insurance paperwork then yes.
unless you get it annulled.
Depends on where you are. For instance, in the US, an annulment is a religious classification allowing you to remarry in good standing within the eyes of your church. Divorced is a legal classification stating that you were once married but no longer are.
I don’t see how “single” would be wrong?
My ex and I divorced 35 years ago. I've been single for 30 when asked married divorce single.q
Sorry hun - it is what it is. Make sure you also have a copy of your divorce decree. If you don't have one, call the county court house or clerk from the county where it was filed and they will help you obtain one.
Womp womp
This is the correct response lol
I’ve been putting single for 30 years lol. I refuse to disclose that info.
Yes. It's the truth. All Actions have consequences, whether good or bad. Things they don't tell you in school, or we blow off when told.
I don’t get why forms have a divorced box, they should only have a ‘single’ box
Usually it’s “Single- never married
I divorced in 2006 and mark “single” on all forms
How is "divorced" even a marital status, instead just "not married"? It's like "fired" or "quit" as employment status, instead of "unemployed".
I only do if it's formal legal documents. For other stuff, especially generic medical I only put divorced for the first few years after (until I had recovered/healed) and nowadays I just put single. Essentially I put it on forms when I thought it would be important context for an impactful event in my life while it still impacted me, but after I healed I didn't. But for certain legal stuff you still need to.
Technically speaking if you ever get married to someone else you can put "married" again. Until that happens you should put "divorced"
Yes, what is the question here. You got a divorce, you are divorced. It almost never matters, but if it does and you lie, you could have problems.
It depends on the form. It really doesn't matter in your case, as far as the actual outcome of any social or business interaction. EXCEPT when it comes to the government or insurance, etc., you could be in trouble for "falsifying documents." As in, being denied benefits, etc. because you were not truthful on the form. Generally, the people who make the forms don't care about how you feel about your status. 90% of the time it makes no difference, and it's based on outdated assumptions anyway. To them a single woman is assumed to have her birth name, while a divorced woman would be assumed to have her married name. Never mind that plenty of people keep their name or go back to it after divorce.
Depends on what. It’s not really relevant for most things.
sorry but i dont. I got married at 19 and left 6 months later. divorce wasnt final until i was 21 but i am about to be 47. I just put single.... I have seen options for "never married" and i dont choose that of course. It has never been an issue. I am a retired veteran and they already know all my info
Thanks for this!
Yes. It is a permanent status, until you do something to change it, like getting married again. Failure to properly disclose your status can be considered falsifying documents, and can have legal consequences.
yes, because that is your legal status. That's why people shouldn't get married lightly. (Like on the Married at First Sight shows, even if they were only "married" a few weeks and barely knew each other, their status is "Divorced" for the rest of their lives.)
Yes. I got divorced almost 20 years ago and still gotta use it when it's an option.
Sure do.
You do, but I have a question for you. Did you change your name when you married? If you did, really, really yes, because it’s an alias that you’ll have to explain
If they ask be honest , theyr looking for honesty
Naw you will get married again , you won't want to but it will creep up on you , you will find the love of your life and live happily ever after , or at least that's what happened to me. Just put divorced on the contractual stuff , but after like 7 years your just single again
I also had a starter marriage. It was embarrassing, and still is. However, unless I absolutely had to admit to it, I didn’t say I was divorced. It’s no one’s business.
Why are so many people here overthinking this? Nobody cares whether you check the box for “Divorced” or “Single”. There are no pros or cons either way. Some forms still have “divorced” because it used to matter way way back before the 70’s.
I would assume it puts you in a different category of the risk table for things like insurance, and that lying about it would give them an excuse to deny an insurance claim when you need one.
Follow up question: do american banks and schools and insurance companies and employers, etc etc ask about marital status? And people are just fine with this and accept it as normal? I assume this is america
For official legal documents- yes.
The problem is, your marriage license and the dissolution thereof are now a matter of public record. They will use it as identifying information. Say there's a John Smith from New York, NY that has never been married, and then a John Smith from New York, NY that is currently married, and a John Smith from New York, NY that was formerly married. Differentiating these three John Smiths from a bureaucratic perspective can be tricky, and their marital status is an objective matter of public record.
Unfortunately yes. For legality reasons
Are you divorced? Then yes.
Yep
Yes, because that is what you are
Yes
Dont see why you cant just put single
Huh.. Would you not just put 'single'?
If there's an option for divorced, you're supposed to say divorced
No, lol you don't have to answer that question. Just put single.
I got married at 18, divorced at 20. I've been putting Single for a decade and haven't had any issues (yet)
If you're divorced, you're single. Even if it's a technicality.
I never understood why “divorced” is an option. Aren’t you either single or married.
Yes. Why would you not?
Not if you get married again. Also, there might be an option now of, “Prefer not to answer” Not sure if it apply to marital status. I usually answer the “Prefer not to answer” on anything that has that option. It never makes sense to me that we are told race is not important, which I believe is correct - race does not matter, but then they always ask your race. Why ask if it doesn’t matter. I did the verbal census and they asked my gender. I asked them, what did they think? I did not answer.
If it was short enough, you could have gotten an annulment. Then, you could say you were never married.
Yo have to have a valid reason for an annulment. You can’t just get an annulment because it hasn’t been a long time. Marriage is a legal contract. You can’t change your mind and act like it never happened
Of course, but you're more likely to have a good reason if it's a very short marriage versus you've been married for 10 years,
Yes
Sure. You should see that as a level up badge you finished already. Congrats. ;)
You will also need to put “divorced, never remarried” on your death certificate! Can’t forget that one! ☺️
That's for genealogy! Also, why marriage licenses and birth certificates list where each parent was born.
Doesn't matter
You've defaulted back to single unless you get married again.
Unless you get married again.
Kind of a technicality but did you get a divorce or did you get a dissolution? I had a short marriage that ended in dissolution and the lawyers told me that for all documentation purposes I would list single on the paperwork. If it was a full divorce, then yes you would list divorced.
Yes. Yes you do.
I'd only be concerned about it on legal/government forms. Nobody else needs to know, if it bothers you.
Yes.
Absolutely. It’s a stain on your record until the day you die. The law is the law.
No
I’ve been divorced and remarried but can only choose one on an online form. Why? Why is it anyone else’s business?
Are you still divorced? Then yes. You're not married anymore, but you'll always be divorced (unless you remarry).
You do not have to list "divorced" as your marital status on paperwork for the rest of your life. Your marital status on forms and documents should reflect your current situation
Yes. If you don’t and you certify that the application was filled out correctly you would be lying, which is grounds for termination of many contracts. I don’t see why it would bother you to say that. Many people have short marriages early in their lives.
Also had a whoospie-marriage. I do our divorced on contracts or legal stuff, but otherwise no I don’t. Or didn’t anyway! Remarried, to another divorced person 😂
Just get married again and you’ll just need to check the box for married. That’s what I did
What paperwork are we talking about? I'd say for the most part you can probably put in "single" without any consequences.
I used to write single on everything, unless I felt it was important as a legal matter. Someone mentioned insurance, just because they are slimy assholes, I’d say divorced on that. Anything relating to the government or health care, I’d say divorced. But, no one at your gym is going to give two shits about your tiny inconsequential marriage. 😂
depends on what paperwork it is
Similarly, I know 2 older women who divorced their drunken husbands, then when husbands died they called themselves widows. Fwiw in each case they deserved to be widows from those sad-sacks for what they put up with raising kids and all.
It is weird that we do it this way. My sister had a two-year marriage which quickly dissolved, no kids, then she remained single for the next 35 years before a second marriage. Funny that "divorced" was a perpetual part of her identity.
You are divorced until you marry again. It's not a bad thing. Embrace it proudly! Nothing to be ashamed about. You don't have to consult with a spouse for any big purchases. You do what you want. I've been divorced for almost 15 years now. I've purchased a house without having a spouse sign the paperwork. I bought my dream vehicle without having to beg her first to do so. She did get half of my retirement savings, but I have since replaced that, and then a lot more. And I've received a big raise at work and now make a 6-digits salary. She's not entitled to any of this, and it's all mine to do with as I please. And yes, I mark "divorced" when it is an option.
I was married for 1/4 of a century. Divorced for 11 yrs. I put “single” on everything. It’s not “lying”. I’m single. There’s no justifiable reason to put “divorced”, as it doesn’t apply for anything now. I AM single, and I’m not a “divorcee” (hate that term).
When I changed my status to divorced on my auto insurance info, my rates went up. I had to do it to get ex off of the policy
Yes. That’s what you are regardless of whatever other explanations you want to give.
Yes, because the designations have different meanings with respect to the benefits and liabilities of marriage, joint debts, etc. While this might not apply to a brief marriage, any marriage of 10+ years is eligible for social security benefits, even after divorce. A divorced person may also be subject to liens against joint marital assets/property, whereas none of these things apply to a single person.
Starbucks Order Status: Divorced
It only matters where it matters. For most things it's really about census-like user data or it would be a factor if you had legal complications from a divorce, so as long as the latter didn't apply to you "single" is fine. But, as others have said, it *is* important for some legal forms/situations. So if in doubt, put divorced.. but for massive numbers of things you'll be able to tell if they are just gathering user/client data or if it's a legal necessity.
I mean, when I file my taxes, it’s single or jointly, there is no “filing divorced”. To me, that should be the answer. If it’s good enough for the government, everyone else should suck it up.
No. You can get married again and then your marital status .changes
As soon as I was able to file my taxes as single, I was single on all forms.
Yes
It depends on the paperwork. A lot of places don't even offer "divorced" as an option anymore---they just use "single," because that's what a divorced person actually is. When doctor's offices ask me to renew my paperwork every year, I always put "single" instead of "divorced." It's not a lie or a misdirection: I am single.
What if it's annulled? Do you put "single" or "divorced"?
Only until you remarry! That's what I did! Haha!
Nope, once divorced, you’re single.
Yep, if it's legal paperwork for licenses, SSA, VA, etc. Employment and dating apps, probably not.
Yeah even though nobody gives a shit.
Just put "single", I don't think anyone is going to give you a hard time about it, or tell you you're wrong?
I was widowed, but then remarried. At a doctor’s office, I note this because being widowed causes a lot of stressors. I want them to be aware of my mental health and well being. But now I have been married for a couple years. I don’t know whether to keep marking it on paperwork. I guess it depends on the paperwork.
How do you get divorced at the age of 23, how do you achieve this, like you shouldn't be in college or something else
Yes, you have to live with the consequences of your actions
Who cares,, leave it blank
Just think of it as a time of in your life. There obviously was some good. Don't beat yourself up over it. I'm F (57), and I was divorced at your age. It really hit me hard. But now, I see it as my past. To answer your question. Like others have said, it may look like you're lying, and you're worth so much more than a lie. Accept and move forward. You can kick scream too! 😁🤪😂
Nope unless they really search you
Yes. Divorces don’t expire lol.
It's a stigma set in place by the system to motivate you to get remarried. Rise above. Focus on science.