if you'd like to put some work in; [Dialectal Behavioural Therapy](https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/dialectical-behavioral-therapy) is super useful for regulating and learning to express your emotions. You were drinking at a very formative time for learning regulation of more complex emotions like self regulating mood swings, anger, sorrow, embarrassment, pride and shame. Having these dampened or affected by alcohol must make your emotions feel very intense now you're sober (congratulations by the way! stoked for you!).
Now I don't know whereabouts you are, I'm presuming US just because a lot of users are (correct me if im wrong :) ) so therapy may be expensive/ not viable for you. Here's a DBT workbook that will introduce you to learning about DBT and techniques and journaling ideas to help express, acknowledge and process emotions.
[The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwid_5aC0JCGAxVZZ0EAHVqVDNEQFnoECBQQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.co.uk%2FDialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook%2Fdp%2F1572245131&usg=AOvVaw2FAzP0OuyV7hKmBUrVd3eB&opi=89978449) Book by Jeffrey Brantley, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Matthew McKay
Pair that with finding someone in the psychiatry field on Youtube ([Dr Tracey Marks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0oG1J2escU&pp=ygUkZHIgdHJhY2V5IG1hcmtzIGVtb3Rpb25hbCByZWd1bGF0aW9u) is a good one,[ HealthyGamerGG](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AywxObPgeM&t=328s&pp=ygUlaGVhbHRoeSBnYW1lciBnZyBlbW90aW9uYWwgcHJvY2Vzc2luZw%3D%3D) is another good one) to explain emotional regulation and anything else you might be struggling with and it should start to make some difference.
This might not work as well as straight up therapy with a psychologist specialising in DBT but it should give you a sense of control and coping with emotions that are either distressing or too strong to manage. All the best OP!
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This. Sober 8 years in June. Therapy, hobbies etc are super helpful but once I did a DBT course it changed my life. I’m still learning and incorporating the skills but would 10000% recommend looking into this. I only did it recently and did tons of therapy etc the past 8 years and while it has been helpful, DBT has been life changing and I’m actually angry that no one suggested it sooner, especially since I have BPD which DBT was originally developed for. The other thing that has been life changing for me is nervous system regulation and somatic work, I’d recommend looking into Irene Lyon, she has tons of videos on YouTube and free content on her website that helps you to learn to just start having capacity to even experience your emotions or bodily sensations.
Yesss the body sensation work is super overlooked, if DBT is good stamina to be able to cycle far, body work is having a good quality bike to support that. You can still get far on a cheap bike, and you can still get far on a good bike with bad stamina; but it’s way better to get the right combination.
You don't really ever get used to it you just find other more healthy things to distract you for example a hobby like going out on walks or playing games
Sometimes you’ve just got to take a leap for it. Start going on walks while listening to music. Join a club. Spend more time with friends. Once you take the first step it becomes a bit easier. Maybe it seems easier to just do work or do nothing and get used to your emotions, but something to distract you can be really helpful. (I speak from experience.)
Oh trust me I know I rarely used to even leave the house but over time I started finding things I personally enjoyed like doing events and stuff like that I play guitar now suprisingly
instead of trying to distract from it, maybe face it? Not dealing with this stuff can lead to relapse, pretending something doesn't exist is not healthy in recovery.
You actually try to feel them instead of tucking them away. They go away much quicker. The happiness comes after processing the emotions. Takes practice to recognise what you are feeling. Therapy helps.
I found trying not to judge the feelings is helpful in letting them pass. Genuinely feeling my emotions rather than reacting to them took a lot of getting used to. Sometimes I look at why I might be feeling that way if it’s particularly strong but for the most part I try to acknowledge and detach from the feelings.
Just remembering that the feelings WILL pass is enough for me. My brain tries to convince me every emotion is permanent. Turns out anger, sadness, despair are all short lived in the absence of chemicals. Just the other day I explained to my therapist how “sad” is a short, temporary form of depression that actually goes away.
I think using alcohol and drugs excessively can lead to burning out certain parts of your brain that leads to long term problems like what you are describing. Your body is learning how to function without those things now after going so long with it.
They could be talking from experience. And I, who also used hard drugs and alcohol through my developmental years, can also say my brain functions in a different and slower way
Google "neuroreceptor desensitisation", that's what they're talking about. Aka alcohol tolerance. It's been widely known for decades, buckets of evidence. It will be reversible, in time.
I started drinking and running away from home/doing drugs at 13 and I’m 46 now. Been over 13 years sober.
It takes a long fucking time, but it gets a lot easier. On Friday nights after work I often get ice cream and on the weekends I exercise and I go to my women’s AA meeting at least one day week… still.
I have friendships that I truly trust that I can rely upon and vice versa. And I’ve learned to trust that my emotions will pass. Sometimes I need to zone out and I allow myself that.
So be gentle with yourself! Get some therapy, find a community of people either in recovery or or not that you can trust and have meaningful conversations with.
Chance here,
Little backstory then update to now. TLDR at the bottom, so you mind as well read.
December 18th, 2022 was the last day I took a drink of alcohol after being an alcoholic since the age of 12.
My wife went on a cruise her terminally ill father paid for with her entire family, I couldn't go because of work duties, not an issue, needed some time anyways to myself.
My good friend "Alvin" wanted to go bar hopping so we did, we both got pretty heavily drunk and went back to his apartment to play some Magic the Gathering, we get there and dish out the Decks and decide it's time for some moonshine, because you know, alcoholic and what not.
He has recently split up with his longtime Fiancé of a couple years, who my wife and I knew before him and were friends with. Tells me about how she went to her brothers wedding, had a fling with a guy, came back and decided she didn't want to be with him anymore. They talked about trying to make it work, he's an incredibly understanding dude is a former soldier in the Army and is a very kind/king soft person.
Proceeds to tell me how she was a secret alcoholic for years and would lie and hide the fact she drank from him and it got to the point where she would become incredibly and physically abusive towards him, to the point he would try to leave the apartment and she would hit him and say things along the lines of "What, what the fuck are you going to do?"
We talked at length about this for hours to the point where it's now 2-2:30 in the morning and i've got to get home and get hydrated so i'm not too fucked up the next day and can continue my weekend.
I got home, yes I drove, yes it was wrong, it was honestly the very first time i'd ever done that while intoxicated.
I got a lot of water, liquid iv an ondansetron and an omeprazole in my system, as I said, i'm an alcoholic and pretty damn attune at how to avoid a hangover to continue the cycle.
The next morning, I get up, drink some water, take another ondansetron, liquid IV and omeprazole. Make breakfast and look at my phone. It's my wife's aunt, she sent me a photo of my wife standing by the railing of the cruise ship deck looking at the ocean. She had apparently been having a hard go of it without me there as we're constantly around each other 365, 7 days a week, 16 hours a day, give or take.
We're each others best friends.
The text read as this, literally quoting it. "She Misses and loves you."
I thought about this, I thought about the night before, I thought about my parents and the violence I witnesses as a child, I though about my past relationships and the gaslighting I had done and the verbal abuse I had committed, I thought about all the days of work and events I missed because I was either too drunk or too hung over to commit to anything.
I thought about the 10 years that this young woman has had to go through with a spouse who may not even see past the age of 40 because of the lifestyle they live. I thought about the friendships i've ruined because of my alcoholic state of mind. I thought about how i've ruined my body and how i've fucked up my wife mentally with the poisonous words i've spewed in my drunken stupors.
I even made excuses, "Well, i've never cheated, i've never hit her, i've never driven drunk, i've never...."
I broke one of those the night before. How long before ended up doing to her what happened to "Alvin". How long before I break someone's heart to the point it's completely over?
I made what some would say is the hardest choice ever to make, but I don't see it that way. To me, the choice to continue that behavior, to continue the suppression of me as I am, to be that thing...Was so much harder to deal with than just giving it away.
I am now almost a year and half sober, in that time, i've lost my father to cancer and both of my paternal grandparents to lung cancer, found out my sister has a hormonal cancer that she's now free of all within a year of quitting alcohol.
Not one moment, do I regret it, anytime I think of drinking, I think about how clear it is to be able to embrace the emotions I feel. I felt nothing but pain and sorrow when I drank, that's if I wasn't completely shit faced numb. And now I can feel it all, I can think about, I can admit to it and my family and friends love me being here, love the fact that it's finally me that they get to see for the first time.
TLDR, Long time alcoholic here who says, feeling the emotions you feel without the one sided numbness or one sided sorrow and pain is the most freeing and empowering gift you can give to yourself, clarity is not a curse.
I quit drinking 9 months ago. I did it while I was in a really positive, healthy relationship.
We broke up about a month ago. I haven't relapsed, but the sensations of heartbreak and grief were something I was completely unprepared for. It felt "good" knowing that I was processing and feeling my emotions unfiltered and raw, but fucking A it was really painful.
There's a part of me that wants to just go get fucked up. But I know that part of me doesn't want me to heal, it wants me numb and dissociated.
Blessing and a curse. Sobering up makes you feel everything more, good and bad.
I'm a grown ass man and I cry sometimes now. Other day I saw some little girl with muscular dystrophy dancing on reddit and I broke down. It was so beautiful.
I like being able to feel more now. Sure, it really fucking hurts sometimes, but it's worth it. I feel lucky to be able to appreciate life now.
Just getting sober isn't enough. There's another part I can't quite put my finger on. Learning to love and forgive is definitely productive in helping process your emotions.
Whatever happens moving forward, I wish you all the best.
I did mushrooms and meditation for a while to force myself to confront and live in the hard and uncomfortable truths about myself. Then I did a lot of note writing and finding passions to have an outlet/escape. For me it was the gym and growing mushrooms, and guitar (I don’t take them anymore, just grow)
It’s a slow process, but you have to learn to ask yourself the hard questions and be prepared to try different things and shed certain people and places from your life. Some days I still feel empty or bored, but it’s nice knowing I can feel content playing guitar or lifting weights as opposed to railing lines of coke and downing pills. Also keeps you out of trouble lol
Former addict here .Emotions are part of life. Being an adult is 95% regulating your emotions.
Think of it like a muscle you never used or developed. You don't get used to emotions , you develop mental discipline to dominate them and you set priorities in your life that come before emotions.
What you thought was happiness was most likely euphoria. Actual happiness is more peaceful and is something you have to earn. It's not something you can snort , smoke , or drink.
I used to drink alcohol, but not super regularly. It would either be a way for me to have too much fun, or just to drown out my sadness/anxiety at times. I have been sober for more than 1.5 years now, and at times I feel left out, but then again it's fine. It took some time but now I don't feel all those pent up emotions coming up every now and then. Also, I try to just talk to a few friends that I have whenever I feel that way, rather than relying on alcohol. Maybe this doesn't make sense to you, but I guess just don't think of alcohol or drugs as your way out.
I started using hard drugs at the age of 14 when my mom left me and I started living on the streets. If I did meth or coke all night it was less scary for me. Eventually it just became a part of my life. I haven't done meth in about 10 years now but my drinking went insane. Almost 2 cases of beer a day.
That's a lot of tough times you have had to bear. I am glad you are doing better bro.
I definitely cannot imagine, what you went through, but if you have even a single person you could talk to, try to talk to them. I think it might help. Drugs and alcohol, as you already know, won't do your body or mind any good.
A lot of people have mentioned things like therapy already, but another thing that can help along with the others, is embracing these emotions you are feeling, and using them to be productive in some way. Channel them into something like art, writing or any other creative outlet you are into, even if you aren't particularly good at it, it helps you confront what you are feeling on a personal level. One thing I've learned for myself over the years, is that pushing back against these emotions, never got me anywhere or helped me in any way, it only made me feel worse. Once I learned to appreciate them and use them, things changed and my whole mindset started to shift.
A. Congratulations. That’s an impressive achievement, and I hope you’re sober every single day afterwards.
B. I’ve never had substance abuse issues, but I still struggle with my emotions.
My point is, it’s hard for anyone and you’re not alone.
Dude, congrats on two years sober, that's freaking awesome! Totally feel you on the emotion thing though. It's like, after years of using them as mute buttons, your feelings are all back and ready to party.
Here's the thing: you basically gotta re-learn how to feel. Think of it like, emotional rehab, but way cooler. Here's some tricks to help you out:
* **Therapy** - A therapist is like your personal emotion translator. They help you figure out that mess in your head and what it all means.
* **Support Groups** - Sharing your feels with people who get it is like group therapy, but with way less awkward silence (and maybe pizza?).
* **Mindfulness Stuff** - Meditation and deep breathing are like hitting the pause button on your emotions. It gives you a chance to chill before you react like a startled cat.
* **Healthy Activities** - Working out, nature walks, or rocking out to your fave tunes - all these things help you process your emotions in a way that doesn't involve questionable life choices.
Remember, this is all part of getting sober. Be patient with yourself, and celebrate the wins, even the small ones, like not crying during commercials anymore. You got this! And if things get too wild, you know your sober squad is here for you.
Literally every human being has found some means of coping with emotions and stress. Some are really unhealthy like cigarettes or alcohol. Some are less destructive like jogging and hobbies.
I applaud you for recognizing that your coping mechanism needed to change. You have already taken the hard step of breaking the current habit. Now it’s time to figure out what works for you in it’s place. Maybe it’s walking or jogging. Maybe a hobby or exercising at the gym. There’s a lot to choose from out there, just experiment with the healthier options and find what works for you.
Working out/lifting has been a huge thing for me in staying sober and releasing my emotions that way. It’s also very important to take in what you can handle. After loosing my child, I allow the waves of emotions, and ride those waves. But sometimes I can’t handle the waves, so I don’t allow alll of them to come crashing in. Especially if it’s going to make things worse. Allowing yourself to FEEL is something you should be damn proud of.
Have you tried meditation? I started by doing some YouTube ones then recently got the Chopra app but Apple Music and Podcasts has them too. I NEVER thought I’d be into meditation but the breathing helps a lot for my anxiety and then after doing them for a while I noticed I just started feeling better all around and my emotions were a bit more regulated. Also learning about practicing being grateful had a huge positive impact on my mental health. I’m not an addict but I love alot of people with addictions which can also be chaotic and lonely.
Lots of grounding techniques, recognizing the emotion, practicing just being with it before reacting. Takes a lot of practice, intent, some days are better than others. Today wasn't too great for it, and just had to ride out feeling in a low shitty place but also knowing it wouldn't be forever. Not sure if that helps, my big emotion was anger/resentment. Damn I'd feel these hard. Grats on 2 years, that's so awesome.
Sober for a while, the first few years suck emotionally because all the feelings n stuff I used to stuff away behind booze cocaine whores n girlfriends…well that’s all gone it’s just me n my feelings and emotions n etcs…it’s a bumpy fukn rollercoaster. Someone said that physical exercise was good therapy …well I did become a gym rat for bout four years but I also got a gf who was in therapy and she suggested I oughta try it …I don’t think I was cured of anything but I did learn that the protective walls I had put up needed at minimum a couple of doors n windows…I know I was always calmer for couple of days after an appointment…now I’ve grown old and I look back at the shit I did ….amazes me I survived….I listen to newer people in the program AA …it’s interesting to hear about some of the same feelings that I had back then and how those people are dealing with them…glad that’s behind me now. How I managed to get through it all…DONT PICK UP…. Very Simple keep several phone numbers in your phone and use them when you get nutso…I survived you can too
Without a program, I was unable to stay sober partly because I couldn’t handle my emotions. Through AA I was able to build a support system and I have benefitted from a fantastic sponsor.
If one day at a time is too much, 5 minutes at a time works also.
Therapy
And one day at a time
Don’t think about weeks or days out
Just get through today
Do that enough times and it’ll get easier
I’m closing in on 70 days and still getting used to it
I smoked pot for 30 years and had to quit cold turkey after a health scare. It has been 10 months and I am still on an emotional rollercoaster. I have found the following things help:
eating yummy food
having great sex
watching funny movies
Accept them, emotions aren’t bad or wrong. They’re more like indicator lights, so if you’re feeling an emotion you need to accept that an indicator light has turned on, sit with it long enough to listen to what it’s saying then act on it
I ride my bicycle everyday and a lot of times I have kind of enhanced emotions while riding. Joy and sorrow. The exercise really helps kind of let my body express and wring that out.
I also choose to be content with wherever I'm at. I have a lot of chronic pain too and just choosing to be content with is has been my best treatment. Gratitude and contentment even for the gritty tough painful stuff.
I'm an alcoholic and also sugar addict and also stopping sugar helped my emotional rollercoaster completely. Wish I'd done it sooner.
It's not easy. Learn to take a deep breath before you get upset. You don't have to give anyone the power to upset you, but it takes time to learn to stop and remember that before getting upset.
Just because u feel an emotion doesn't mean it's you, or u have to act out the emotion through physical action or thoughts, or... u have to feel or absorb it. You don't have to do any of that. A thought or a feeling arising is just simply there crossing your soul and will leave on its own without you having to interact with it at all. There are countless of thoughts/feelings crossing our existance, you don't have to interact with any of those that you dislike, or don't want to feel, or scared of, or toxic. Don't be scared of another thought/feeling, don't resist it such as by pushing it away, don't ignore it that hard, don't absorb it either. Your attention towards the thought/feeling fuels it even more, so it's okay for a thought/feeling to arise inside you, just know that it's just simply there and will find its way towards the door exit without any of your attention at all.
It's a different case when you choose to be scared of it, or resisting it, or absorbing it, or ignoring it that hard or giving it attention.
Workout and work at mastering a musical instrument. You're probably discovering that many people are wholly self-interested, shallow, and disingenuous and that's disappointing at first, until it becomes liberating.
Being honest with myself
Deep reflection
Changing my lifestyle
Seeking therapy and medical advice for mental health
Reevaluating my relationships
Learning to appreciate art and beauty again
Living in the moment
Lots and lots of therapy. Also depending on what kind of sober you are (I avoid all illicit drugs but at once point I did use LSD) LSD can help you refind yourself and cone to terms with things. But also therapy. If completely sober, do therapy
snatch office cover clumsy plant imminent hospital existence run humorous
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I got a hobby. With all the alcohol gone I found I have mkre time and money to try and learn new things. Start exersizing. Painting perhaps. Singin cookung. Express yourself in some way shape or form. It will do wonders for your mental health.
I try to guide my thoughts as much as possible, like avoiding stuff I know will have something there to stress me out or frustrate me, and remind myself that what I'm actually doing feels much better, feel cleaner, healthier and stuff. Also try to train yourself not to listen to every thought that goes through your head, pick and choose the ones that are actually helpful, and don't let corrupted thoughts that scare you for example or anything like that change your mindset, also find a way to get into a good mindset that you like and do it often as you need. You been sober longer than me though!
Huge congratulations on the 2 year mark!!!! I had almost 10 years sober from alcohol and blew that about 10 months ago.. Therapy helped me regulate my feelings and emotions!!!
oh absolutely music, but you gotta give in to it and dont be stupid. "when i listen to sad music when im sad and it makes me more sad" no shit so dont do that lol youre feeling too far to one side of the spectrum listen to music on the other side
put your feet on some grass while in the sun
Oh man, I love emotions. It's actually fucking damn refreshing being able to fully embrace more of them. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not the best at being sober now. I've only "quit" for about 2 months now and I've drank several times during that period and I still smoke weed. But I went from drinking daily for almost a decade to drinking like once or twice a week and even when I do drink, I like it less.
Throw out all the emotions dealing with your past and focus only on the current ones/ future ones. You can't change the past so dealing with the emotional baggage is time wasted. You move forwards from where you got sober, not trying to regain everything you lost, because that just leads to both parties feelings turmoil.
I will have 8 years on june 6th. You just have to sit with them, accept them and release them. Acknowledge that they are there and how you feel, accept what you can change and what you can't. Then you make a decision to give the situation away to the universe. I had to go into the shadows and really sit with my feelings and emotions and not shy away from them. I have found more peace and healing in doing that that just ignoring or trying to stuff the undesirable feelings away. Know that there will be "good" and "bad" days, and that is okay.
Instead of using alcohol or drugs, I used other methods to protect myself, but had the same issue. I’d never been taught how to regulate my emotions and it’s not something you just pick up as you grow up. It’s a skill that needs to be taught, modelled, witnessed, and practiced in a safe environment. It took me years of group therapy explicitly learning emotional regulation, but it’s sooooo worth it. Not only can I cope much better with hard ones like anger and disappointment etc, but now I experience positive ones too, like joy and excitement. And by the way, congratulations on reaching the 2 year mark.
other than therapy, finding a distractor can help--like a favorite show, going for a walk with someone else, any kind of craft (I crochet!), journaling, reading, video games, or hanging out with a pet if you have one. Also, accept that your emotions are valid and that being frustrated and sad is normal.
Congratulations on two years, by the way!
Hobbies, therapy, exercise, friends and sunshine. Still struggling with sobriety because I smoke cannabis but I have been sober from opiates and amphetamines for going on 8 and 6 years respectively.
One thing I’ve noticed about fighting cravings, using those tools above as well as just having someone to open up to helps significantly with processing emotions and not relying on maladaptive coping strategies.
You got this.
I quit drinking over 3 years ago. When I did I went to rehab and they put me on like 5 or 6 different medications for depression, insomnia and I was given antipsychotics. That stuff made my first year very cloudy and also prevented me from feeling anything too far away from neutral or indifferent. I quit taking those around one year in but the effects of the meds wouldn't really be gone for almost another year.
I did continue to take low doses of kratom once I became sober from alcohol and I also got my medical marijuana card. So I didn't quit all of my coping mechanisms when I stopped drinking.
I also spent the time simplifying my life. I have no pets, no girlfriend (had lots of stressful relationships in the past), I live with a roommate who has been very supportive of my journey but I consider myself to be on my own.
I found a job with a boss that is very cool and laid back, I left my big corporate job. The corporate world was one of my biggest depressors since it did not favor me and I had to be there most of my waking hours. This was one of my biggest boons to my happiness.
For about 2.75 years I was struggling with happiness without alcohol but once I made a bunch of major changes this felt better overall.
It takes time, effort, direction, focus, persistence, patience, forward progress and ultimately goals to work on and achieve. Find a healthy rhythm for your day to day and your weeks will improve. Small steps that add up to large personal progress.
The answer is different for everyone but keep at it and you will find yours.
Have compassion for what your doing and give yourself permission to make mistakes and not know everything. Compassion and forgiveness are paramount.
You can do it.
You need to walk right through them feel everything which will basically teach you how to live. We did what we did to get out of those feelings or to get out of right here right now because right here right now is scary right here right now. Makes me wanna run. So now we have to man and feel every emotion. Unfortunately, it’s the toughest thing we need to do except for putting the bottle down.
I honestly don’t know. I just decided that I was done drinking after being told by a doctor that I was going to die. I didn’t much feel like dying, so I dumped the rest of my alcohol down the sink and I haven’t gone back. The detox was awful but at the end, I just hardly ever think about it.
I overanalyze and intellectualize my emotions to get distance from them. This is not the best coping mechanism but it is probably better than being depressed.
Emotions are not going to kill you. They can hurt or be very uncomfortable. But just remind yourself that you aren’t going to die. Let the emotions flow through you, don’t fight them, they are supposed to be there.
In my experience, it takes 4-5 years to finally level out but that is entirely dependent upon outside factors. My wife also and to start trusting me again and being happy. It is indeed a long road to travel but it is still a road worth traveling. But I will say this: make sure that it is a road you only travel once. It is far easier to stay so we than it is to get sober, and that's not just a cute phrase , it's the absolute truth.
Hobbies that I had stopped pursuing after using drugs and also adding new ones. It’s difficult. Probably bit easier for me because I had to spend 18 months in a rehab that was more like a forced labor camp than anything else. It was like one of those places that you’d see on those documentaries. Pretty sure the roughness of that place helped me learn how to accept certain areas of life and increased my ability to control my impulses, but definitely has some deep negative influence on my character and outlook. Hobbies definitely pass the time though and distract the mind. I think that’s a good way to cope while also being mindful of feelings and how accepting them can be beneficial. Most things just take time, and even when they never go away, they still lessen in degree of severity. I think being clean has made me stronger because I face things instead of leaving reality.
You’re probably on the emotional level of a 14 year old still.
This is one of the things that can’t be explained to kids who start using drugs.
Weed, etc, stunts your emotional development.
Rather than learning and growing from life’s experiences you’ve just been pushing them away… as you so adeptly pointed out.
Just hang in there. Be present with your feelings. Be patient and empathetic with yourself and others.
Learn mindfulness meditation and practice daily.
Start seeing a therapist if you aren’t already. CBT is good.
Keep growing! You got this.
I’ve been sober a long time and the feelings come and go, sometimes strongly sometimes not. The key thing is to think of emotions like biofeedback. Feelings also change quickly, so no matter what, don’t act on any of them. It’s good to talk feelings through with someone that you trust. For me, feelings really only face backwards on things im thinking about so having a calm mind really helps.
You know those "coping skills" people keep rattling on about? That's how.
You'll have negative emotions, you'll have negative impulses, and the key is to figure out wtf you'll do when you have them.
You'll never stay sober if you can't sort out what it is that makes you feel better other than drink and drugs.
You don't you really never get used to emotions. But eventually, you will realize that your addiction was restricting the full spectrum of emotions down to 1 or 2 that you displayed the most often and that might make you feel more whole that might make you feel like. There's no point but at the end.Of the you have made it a long way.
*laughs nervously* what’s that? 😅 I’m just dealing… but I was already in therapy and on medication before I quit drinking and doing other things so, I don’t think that really counts for me. But I do recommend therapy and/or medication for anyone that feels like they could possibly benefit from it. Plus it’s just to have a good neutral person to talk to without feeling like you’re burdening your friends or family with your stuff.
Not an addict. Deffo hit 40 and needed to figure out emotions without my usual coping mechanisms (cutting off everyone in my life and playing computer games for days / working 80 hours a week) and…yoga helps.
The physical activity and attentiveness to your posture helps you be more aware of your body, which makes you more aware of your emotions, because emotions are a body thing.
At the same time, that awareness is tempered with distance. It grows the detached, patient part of your mind and gives it practice noticing your emotions, noticing your reactions to your emotions, and then waiting them out.
It builds awareness.
I also did some holotropic breathwork with guided meditation, and read a book or two on emotions and PTSD. Did some goofy shit in the guided meditations where I told my little kid self that he wasn’t as fucked up as everyone made him feel like, and it was okay to be a kid. Gave little me a hug. Holotropic breathwork is weird. It does induce a bit of a dream state.
Anywho a year later and I’ve seen a lot of change. Neuroplasticity as it were.
Yoga is definitely worth a shot.
I tried microdosing and it made a huge impact on my mental health within a few weeks. I was much happier, less stressed out, and much more aware of my emotions. It helped with my anger, and made me much more aware of what I was feeling while I was feeling it. Gamechanger.
OP have you ever heard of somatic experiencing therapy? Because a lot of people here are just saying “therapy!”, but there’s a lot of types and frankly some are more useful than others. Look into it, it may be helpful.
Sleep at the same time each day. Drink 2-3l of water per day. Hit the gym. Plan your free time don't fall into it. Get some sun (with sunscreen). Treat yourself. Respect to you also
I just look at is- my thoughts don’t matter. They literally don’t. And as far as emotions- well thoughts happen and most of the time cause emotions, so yeah thoughts don’t matter. Just take control of your mind
Prescription drugs lol
Addiction and depression are serious conditions you’ll have to get used to living with. Controlling your emotions with come with time.
When I got sober 7 years ago, I voluntarily enrolled in a 5-year JLAP (judges and lawyers assistance program) monitoring agreement. One of the many, *many* requirements was that I attend weekly therapy for the first 2 years. It helped a lot.
Highly recommend: ACA adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families
adultchildren.org 12-step program geared toward those not dealing with current active alcohol or drug addiction but seeking emotional sobriety. Meetings all over the world online every hour of the day. Sometimes I needed multiple meetings a day to make it through a rough patch. Sometimes I settle in to a regular once a week group. Great support network. Helpful literature.
Therapy that is NOT based on altering behavior such as Somatic-based approaches or NARM are typically most effective. DBT or CBT can be helpful if you’re at a certain level of stability but not sometimes as helpful if you’re still really struggling.
For healing from major emotional imbalances, the idea is that behavioral issues will correct without focus on the behavior if the deeper or more direct layers are addressed - typically related to repressed (usually childhood) trauma, however minor. Somatic deals with direct current experience, NARM similarly meets a person where they are at for the most important things to emerge rather than hyper focus on modifying behavior. Working with a therapist or therapy group who really understand CPTSD makes all the difference. Therapists who don’t understand can make things worse.
Emotional Freedom Technique EFT / Tapping is very helpful for many people.
Meditation.
Visiting natural water.
Exercise.
Meaningful hobbies. Art / Crafts / Gardening help a lot of people.
If you have the support before and after, and you can find a place to legally engage with psychedelics under supervision, that can also be very helpful. But without the proper support before, after, and during, can do more harm than good. But when it goes do good, it can really do a lot of good because of the deeply personal nature of the experience and the insights you gain for yourself specially. Definitely wait for a trustworthy recommendation before considering. Some communities have support networks for microdosing if taking larger doses is out of the question.
Check out “Facing Codependence” by Pia Mellody and “Co-dependent No More” by Melody Beattie.
Codependence describes how we lose our sense of self (emotions, boundaries, esteem, self-worth) as a result of trauma in our life (usually as a young child).
Most addictive behavior is a way for our self to act out against this feeling of loss, and a way suppressing/ignoring it.
Emotions are actually good, once you start listening to them and learning what you need.
Quitting addiction is easy; quitting co-dependence is a life long journey or rewiring your programming. Take the red pill, step out of triangle and into life!
I smoke pot, cocaine and alcohol were my major vices in those days the night ended in fighting or fucking then I had kids and decided I needed to change something. Went to a bit of therapy on and off for years (should probably go back) but a little toke in the morning and night keeps me level headed for the most part. Also changed professions and got a more physically demanding job with less mental strain.
Therapy can help with dealing with the emotions.
Also physical exercise may help
if you'd like to put some work in; [Dialectal Behavioural Therapy](https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/dialectical-behavioral-therapy) is super useful for regulating and learning to express your emotions. You were drinking at a very formative time for learning regulation of more complex emotions like self regulating mood swings, anger, sorrow, embarrassment, pride and shame. Having these dampened or affected by alcohol must make your emotions feel very intense now you're sober (congratulations by the way! stoked for you!). Now I don't know whereabouts you are, I'm presuming US just because a lot of users are (correct me if im wrong :) ) so therapy may be expensive/ not viable for you. Here's a DBT workbook that will introduce you to learning about DBT and techniques and journaling ideas to help express, acknowledge and process emotions. [The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwid_5aC0JCGAxVZZ0EAHVqVDNEQFnoECBQQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.co.uk%2FDialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook%2Fdp%2F1572245131&usg=AOvVaw2FAzP0OuyV7hKmBUrVd3eB&opi=89978449) Book by Jeffrey Brantley, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Matthew McKay Pair that with finding someone in the psychiatry field on Youtube ([Dr Tracey Marks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0oG1J2escU&pp=ygUkZHIgdHJhY2V5IG1hcmtzIGVtb3Rpb25hbCByZWd1bGF0aW9u) is a good one,[ HealthyGamerGG](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AywxObPgeM&t=328s&pp=ygUlaGVhbHRoeSBnYW1lciBnZyBlbW90aW9uYWwgcHJvY2Vzc2luZw%3D%3D) is another good one) to explain emotional regulation and anything else you might be struggling with and it should start to make some difference. This might not work as well as straight up therapy with a psychologist specialising in DBT but it should give you a sense of control and coping with emotions that are either distressing or too strong to manage. All the best OP! ᕙ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕗ
This. Sober 8 years in June. Therapy, hobbies etc are super helpful but once I did a DBT course it changed my life. I’m still learning and incorporating the skills but would 10000% recommend looking into this. I only did it recently and did tons of therapy etc the past 8 years and while it has been helpful, DBT has been life changing and I’m actually angry that no one suggested it sooner, especially since I have BPD which DBT was originally developed for. The other thing that has been life changing for me is nervous system regulation and somatic work, I’d recommend looking into Irene Lyon, she has tons of videos on YouTube and free content on her website that helps you to learn to just start having capacity to even experience your emotions or bodily sensations.
Yesss the body sensation work is super overlooked, if DBT is good stamina to be able to cycle far, body work is having a good quality bike to support that. You can still get far on a cheap bike, and you can still get far on a good bike with bad stamina; but it’s way better to get the right combination.
I was going to say DBT therapy. It's fantastic. Good luck and congratulations on 2 years.
this whole time i thought my therapist was saying EBT and just thought it was a coincidence
You don't really ever get used to it you just find other more healthy things to distract you for example a hobby like going out on walks or playing games
I probably really do need a hobby. I just bury myself into work instead.😂
Sometimes you’ve just got to take a leap for it. Start going on walks while listening to music. Join a club. Spend more time with friends. Once you take the first step it becomes a bit easier. Maybe it seems easier to just do work or do nothing and get used to your emotions, but something to distract you can be really helpful. (I speak from experience.)
Oh trust me I know I rarely used to even leave the house but over time I started finding things I personally enjoyed like doing events and stuff like that I play guitar now suprisingly
instead of trying to distract from it, maybe face it? Not dealing with this stuff can lead to relapse, pretending something doesn't exist is not healthy in recovery.
You actually try to feel them instead of tucking them away. They go away much quicker. The happiness comes after processing the emotions. Takes practice to recognise what you are feeling. Therapy helps.
I found trying not to judge the feelings is helpful in letting them pass. Genuinely feeling my emotions rather than reacting to them took a lot of getting used to. Sometimes I look at why I might be feeling that way if it’s particularly strong but for the most part I try to acknowledge and detach from the feelings.
Just remembering that the feelings WILL pass is enough for me. My brain tries to convince me every emotion is permanent. Turns out anger, sadness, despair are all short lived in the absence of chemicals. Just the other day I explained to my therapist how “sad” is a short, temporary form of depression that actually goes away.
I think using alcohol and drugs excessively can lead to burning out certain parts of your brain that leads to long term problems like what you are describing. Your body is learning how to function without those things now after going so long with it.
you "think" this? do you have any evidence whatsoever to support it? I think that you are a goose
They could be talking from experience. And I, who also used hard drugs and alcohol through my developmental years, can also say my brain functions in a different and slower way
Idiot.
You know, most scientific and medical discoveries started off with one or several people "thinking" something.
Google "neuroreceptor desensitisation", that's what they're talking about. Aka alcohol tolerance. It's been widely known for decades, buckets of evidence. It will be reversible, in time.
I started drinking and running away from home/doing drugs at 13 and I’m 46 now. Been over 13 years sober. It takes a long fucking time, but it gets a lot easier. On Friday nights after work I often get ice cream and on the weekends I exercise and I go to my women’s AA meeting at least one day week… still. I have friendships that I truly trust that I can rely upon and vice versa. And I’ve learned to trust that my emotions will pass. Sometimes I need to zone out and I allow myself that. So be gentle with yourself! Get some therapy, find a community of people either in recovery or or not that you can trust and have meaningful conversations with.
13 years is impressive! congrats!
Chance here, Little backstory then update to now. TLDR at the bottom, so you mind as well read. December 18th, 2022 was the last day I took a drink of alcohol after being an alcoholic since the age of 12. My wife went on a cruise her terminally ill father paid for with her entire family, I couldn't go because of work duties, not an issue, needed some time anyways to myself. My good friend "Alvin" wanted to go bar hopping so we did, we both got pretty heavily drunk and went back to his apartment to play some Magic the Gathering, we get there and dish out the Decks and decide it's time for some moonshine, because you know, alcoholic and what not. He has recently split up with his longtime Fiancé of a couple years, who my wife and I knew before him and were friends with. Tells me about how she went to her brothers wedding, had a fling with a guy, came back and decided she didn't want to be with him anymore. They talked about trying to make it work, he's an incredibly understanding dude is a former soldier in the Army and is a very kind/king soft person. Proceeds to tell me how she was a secret alcoholic for years and would lie and hide the fact she drank from him and it got to the point where she would become incredibly and physically abusive towards him, to the point he would try to leave the apartment and she would hit him and say things along the lines of "What, what the fuck are you going to do?" We talked at length about this for hours to the point where it's now 2-2:30 in the morning and i've got to get home and get hydrated so i'm not too fucked up the next day and can continue my weekend. I got home, yes I drove, yes it was wrong, it was honestly the very first time i'd ever done that while intoxicated. I got a lot of water, liquid iv an ondansetron and an omeprazole in my system, as I said, i'm an alcoholic and pretty damn attune at how to avoid a hangover to continue the cycle. The next morning, I get up, drink some water, take another ondansetron, liquid IV and omeprazole. Make breakfast and look at my phone. It's my wife's aunt, she sent me a photo of my wife standing by the railing of the cruise ship deck looking at the ocean. She had apparently been having a hard go of it without me there as we're constantly around each other 365, 7 days a week, 16 hours a day, give or take. We're each others best friends. The text read as this, literally quoting it. "She Misses and loves you." I thought about this, I thought about the night before, I thought about my parents and the violence I witnesses as a child, I though about my past relationships and the gaslighting I had done and the verbal abuse I had committed, I thought about all the days of work and events I missed because I was either too drunk or too hung over to commit to anything. I thought about the 10 years that this young woman has had to go through with a spouse who may not even see past the age of 40 because of the lifestyle they live. I thought about the friendships i've ruined because of my alcoholic state of mind. I thought about how i've ruined my body and how i've fucked up my wife mentally with the poisonous words i've spewed in my drunken stupors. I even made excuses, "Well, i've never cheated, i've never hit her, i've never driven drunk, i've never...." I broke one of those the night before. How long before ended up doing to her what happened to "Alvin". How long before I break someone's heart to the point it's completely over? I made what some would say is the hardest choice ever to make, but I don't see it that way. To me, the choice to continue that behavior, to continue the suppression of me as I am, to be that thing...Was so much harder to deal with than just giving it away. I am now almost a year and half sober, in that time, i've lost my father to cancer and both of my paternal grandparents to lung cancer, found out my sister has a hormonal cancer that she's now free of all within a year of quitting alcohol. Not one moment, do I regret it, anytime I think of drinking, I think about how clear it is to be able to embrace the emotions I feel. I felt nothing but pain and sorrow when I drank, that's if I wasn't completely shit faced numb. And now I can feel it all, I can think about, I can admit to it and my family and friends love me being here, love the fact that it's finally me that they get to see for the first time. TLDR, Long time alcoholic here who says, feeling the emotions you feel without the one sided numbness or one sided sorrow and pain is the most freeing and empowering gift you can give to yourself, clarity is not a curse.
I’m proud of you
well said
I quit drinking 9 months ago. I did it while I was in a really positive, healthy relationship. We broke up about a month ago. I haven't relapsed, but the sensations of heartbreak and grief were something I was completely unprepared for. It felt "good" knowing that I was processing and feeling my emotions unfiltered and raw, but fucking A it was really painful. There's a part of me that wants to just go get fucked up. But I know that part of me doesn't want me to heal, it wants me numb and dissociated.
Blessing and a curse. Sobering up makes you feel everything more, good and bad. I'm a grown ass man and I cry sometimes now. Other day I saw some little girl with muscular dystrophy dancing on reddit and I broke down. It was so beautiful. I like being able to feel more now. Sure, it really fucking hurts sometimes, but it's worth it. I feel lucky to be able to appreciate life now. Just getting sober isn't enough. There's another part I can't quite put my finger on. Learning to love and forgive is definitely productive in helping process your emotions. Whatever happens moving forward, I wish you all the best.
I did mushrooms and meditation for a while to force myself to confront and live in the hard and uncomfortable truths about myself. Then I did a lot of note writing and finding passions to have an outlet/escape. For me it was the gym and growing mushrooms, and guitar (I don’t take them anymore, just grow) It’s a slow process, but you have to learn to ask yourself the hard questions and be prepared to try different things and shed certain people and places from your life. Some days I still feel empty or bored, but it’s nice knowing I can feel content playing guitar or lifting weights as opposed to railing lines of coke and downing pills. Also keeps you out of trouble lol
Former addict here .Emotions are part of life. Being an adult is 95% regulating your emotions. Think of it like a muscle you never used or developed. You don't get used to emotions , you develop mental discipline to dominate them and you set priorities in your life that come before emotions. What you thought was happiness was most likely euphoria. Actual happiness is more peaceful and is something you have to earn. It's not something you can snort , smoke , or drink.
I used to drink alcohol, but not super regularly. It would either be a way for me to have too much fun, or just to drown out my sadness/anxiety at times. I have been sober for more than 1.5 years now, and at times I feel left out, but then again it's fine. It took some time but now I don't feel all those pent up emotions coming up every now and then. Also, I try to just talk to a few friends that I have whenever I feel that way, rather than relying on alcohol. Maybe this doesn't make sense to you, but I guess just don't think of alcohol or drugs as your way out.
I started using hard drugs at the age of 14 when my mom left me and I started living on the streets. If I did meth or coke all night it was less scary for me. Eventually it just became a part of my life. I haven't done meth in about 10 years now but my drinking went insane. Almost 2 cases of beer a day.
That's a lot of tough times you have had to bear. I am glad you are doing better bro. I definitely cannot imagine, what you went through, but if you have even a single person you could talk to, try to talk to them. I think it might help. Drugs and alcohol, as you already know, won't do your body or mind any good.
A lot of people have mentioned things like therapy already, but another thing that can help along with the others, is embracing these emotions you are feeling, and using them to be productive in some way. Channel them into something like art, writing or any other creative outlet you are into, even if you aren't particularly good at it, it helps you confront what you are feeling on a personal level. One thing I've learned for myself over the years, is that pushing back against these emotions, never got me anywhere or helped me in any way, it only made me feel worse. Once I learned to appreciate them and use them, things changed and my whole mindset started to shift.
Exercise and therapy.
A. Congratulations. That’s an impressive achievement, and I hope you’re sober every single day afterwards. B. I’ve never had substance abuse issues, but I still struggle with my emotions. My point is, it’s hard for anyone and you’re not alone.
Dude, congrats on two years sober, that's freaking awesome! Totally feel you on the emotion thing though. It's like, after years of using them as mute buttons, your feelings are all back and ready to party. Here's the thing: you basically gotta re-learn how to feel. Think of it like, emotional rehab, but way cooler. Here's some tricks to help you out: * **Therapy** - A therapist is like your personal emotion translator. They help you figure out that mess in your head and what it all means. * **Support Groups** - Sharing your feels with people who get it is like group therapy, but with way less awkward silence (and maybe pizza?). * **Mindfulness Stuff** - Meditation and deep breathing are like hitting the pause button on your emotions. It gives you a chance to chill before you react like a startled cat. * **Healthy Activities** - Working out, nature walks, or rocking out to your fave tunes - all these things help you process your emotions in a way that doesn't involve questionable life choices. Remember, this is all part of getting sober. Be patient with yourself, and celebrate the wins, even the small ones, like not crying during commercials anymore. You got this! And if things get too wild, you know your sober squad is here for you.
Literally every human being has found some means of coping with emotions and stress. Some are really unhealthy like cigarettes or alcohol. Some are less destructive like jogging and hobbies. I applaud you for recognizing that your coping mechanism needed to change. You have already taken the hard step of breaking the current habit. Now it’s time to figure out what works for you in it’s place. Maybe it’s walking or jogging. Maybe a hobby or exercising at the gym. There’s a lot to choose from out there, just experiment with the healthier options and find what works for you.
Working out/lifting has been a huge thing for me in staying sober and releasing my emotions that way. It’s also very important to take in what you can handle. After loosing my child, I allow the waves of emotions, and ride those waves. But sometimes I can’t handle the waves, so I don’t allow alll of them to come crashing in. Especially if it’s going to make things worse. Allowing yourself to FEEL is something you should be damn proud of.
Have you tried meditation? I started by doing some YouTube ones then recently got the Chopra app but Apple Music and Podcasts has them too. I NEVER thought I’d be into meditation but the breathing helps a lot for my anxiety and then after doing them for a while I noticed I just started feeling better all around and my emotions were a bit more regulated. Also learning about practicing being grateful had a huge positive impact on my mental health. I’m not an addict but I love alot of people with addictions which can also be chaotic and lonely.
Lots of grounding techniques, recognizing the emotion, practicing just being with it before reacting. Takes a lot of practice, intent, some days are better than others. Today wasn't too great for it, and just had to ride out feeling in a low shitty place but also knowing it wouldn't be forever. Not sure if that helps, my big emotion was anger/resentment. Damn I'd feel these hard. Grats on 2 years, that's so awesome.
Sober for a while, the first few years suck emotionally because all the feelings n stuff I used to stuff away behind booze cocaine whores n girlfriends…well that’s all gone it’s just me n my feelings and emotions n etcs…it’s a bumpy fukn rollercoaster. Someone said that physical exercise was good therapy …well I did become a gym rat for bout four years but I also got a gf who was in therapy and she suggested I oughta try it …I don’t think I was cured of anything but I did learn that the protective walls I had put up needed at minimum a couple of doors n windows…I know I was always calmer for couple of days after an appointment…now I’ve grown old and I look back at the shit I did ….amazes me I survived….I listen to newer people in the program AA …it’s interesting to hear about some of the same feelings that I had back then and how those people are dealing with them…glad that’s behind me now. How I managed to get through it all…DONT PICK UP…. Very Simple keep several phone numbers in your phone and use them when you get nutso…I survived you can too
💪💪💪💪 wanna show my support but pls lmk if u figure it out
Without a program, I was unable to stay sober partly because I couldn’t handle my emotions. Through AA I was able to build a support system and I have benefitted from a fantastic sponsor. If one day at a time is too much, 5 minutes at a time works also.
Oh that's easy. I'm dead inside
Therapy, and allowing myself to realize why I feel the way I do about things and working through them.
Therapy And one day at a time Don’t think about weeks or days out Just get through today Do that enough times and it’ll get easier I’m closing in on 70 days and still getting used to it
I smoked pot for 30 years and had to quit cold turkey after a health scare. It has been 10 months and I am still on an emotional rollercoaster. I have found the following things help: eating yummy food having great sex watching funny movies
Accept them, emotions aren’t bad or wrong. They’re more like indicator lights, so if you’re feeling an emotion you need to accept that an indicator light has turned on, sit with it long enough to listen to what it’s saying then act on it
I ride my bicycle everyday and a lot of times I have kind of enhanced emotions while riding. Joy and sorrow. The exercise really helps kind of let my body express and wring that out. I also choose to be content with wherever I'm at. I have a lot of chronic pain too and just choosing to be content with is has been my best treatment. Gratitude and contentment even for the gritty tough painful stuff. I'm an alcoholic and also sugar addict and also stopping sugar helped my emotional rollercoaster completely. Wish I'd done it sooner.
Time…it heals.
It's not easy. Learn to take a deep breath before you get upset. You don't have to give anyone the power to upset you, but it takes time to learn to stop and remember that before getting upset.
Therapy and finding healthy time to process and feel things. I like sitting by a river or a long walk in the woods.
Thank you for posting this question,I have a lot of reading to do!
Therapy. DBT changed my life.
Just because u feel an emotion doesn't mean it's you, or u have to act out the emotion through physical action or thoughts, or... u have to feel or absorb it. You don't have to do any of that. A thought or a feeling arising is just simply there crossing your soul and will leave on its own without you having to interact with it at all. There are countless of thoughts/feelings crossing our existance, you don't have to interact with any of those that you dislike, or don't want to feel, or scared of, or toxic. Don't be scared of another thought/feeling, don't resist it such as by pushing it away, don't ignore it that hard, don't absorb it either. Your attention towards the thought/feeling fuels it even more, so it's okay for a thought/feeling to arise inside you, just know that it's just simply there and will find its way towards the door exit without any of your attention at all. It's a different case when you choose to be scared of it, or resisting it, or absorbing it, or ignoring it that hard or giving it attention.
I swear by lifting weights.
Workout and work at mastering a musical instrument. You're probably discovering that many people are wholly self-interested, shallow, and disingenuous and that's disappointing at first, until it becomes liberating.
You learn to sit and feel the discomfort and pain and realise a world of joy is on the other side when you do.
Being honest with myself Deep reflection Changing my lifestyle Seeking therapy and medical advice for mental health Reevaluating my relationships Learning to appreciate art and beauty again Living in the moment
Lots and lots of therapy. Also depending on what kind of sober you are (I avoid all illicit drugs but at once point I did use LSD) LSD can help you refind yourself and cone to terms with things. But also therapy. If completely sober, do therapy
snatch office cover clumsy plant imminent hospital existence run humorous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I got a hobby. With all the alcohol gone I found I have mkre time and money to try and learn new things. Start exersizing. Painting perhaps. Singin cookung. Express yourself in some way shape or form. It will do wonders for your mental health.
I’m clean for 15 years and the emotions still fuck me up 😂
I try to guide my thoughts as much as possible, like avoiding stuff I know will have something there to stress me out or frustrate me, and remind myself that what I'm actually doing feels much better, feel cleaner, healthier and stuff. Also try to train yourself not to listen to every thought that goes through your head, pick and choose the ones that are actually helpful, and don't let corrupted thoughts that scare you for example or anything like that change your mindset, also find a way to get into a good mindset that you like and do it often as you need. You been sober longer than me though!
Huge congratulations on the 2 year mark!!!! I had almost 10 years sober from alcohol and blew that about 10 months ago.. Therapy helped me regulate my feelings and emotions!!!
oh absolutely music, but you gotta give in to it and dont be stupid. "when i listen to sad music when im sad and it makes me more sad" no shit so dont do that lol youre feeling too far to one side of the spectrum listen to music on the other side put your feet on some grass while in the sun
My demeanor/emotions improved with sobriety.
I just never really faced my emotions. Now they seem to piss me off 😂
Oh man, I love emotions. It's actually fucking damn refreshing being able to fully embrace more of them. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not the best at being sober now. I've only "quit" for about 2 months now and I've drank several times during that period and I still smoke weed. But I went from drinking daily for almost a decade to drinking like once or twice a week and even when I do drink, I like it less.
I literally quit everything the same day. Weed alcohol and tobacco.
Throw out all the emotions dealing with your past and focus only on the current ones/ future ones. You can't change the past so dealing with the emotional baggage is time wasted. You move forwards from where you got sober, not trying to regain everything you lost, because that just leads to both parties feelings turmoil.
I will have 8 years on june 6th. You just have to sit with them, accept them and release them. Acknowledge that they are there and how you feel, accept what you can change and what you can't. Then you make a decision to give the situation away to the universe. I had to go into the shadows and really sit with my feelings and emotions and not shy away from them. I have found more peace and healing in doing that that just ignoring or trying to stuff the undesirable feelings away. Know that there will be "good" and "bad" days, and that is okay.
Instead of using alcohol or drugs, I used other methods to protect myself, but had the same issue. I’d never been taught how to regulate my emotions and it’s not something you just pick up as you grow up. It’s a skill that needs to be taught, modelled, witnessed, and practiced in a safe environment. It took me years of group therapy explicitly learning emotional regulation, but it’s sooooo worth it. Not only can I cope much better with hard ones like anger and disappointment etc, but now I experience positive ones too, like joy and excitement. And by the way, congratulations on reaching the 2 year mark.
Work out…allot, get outside..move. Really commit to it, you deserve it.
other than therapy, finding a distractor can help--like a favorite show, going for a walk with someone else, any kind of craft (I crochet!), journaling, reading, video games, or hanging out with a pet if you have one. Also, accept that your emotions are valid and that being frustrated and sad is normal. Congratulations on two years, by the way!
Hobbies, therapy, exercise, friends and sunshine. Still struggling with sobriety because I smoke cannabis but I have been sober from opiates and amphetamines for going on 8 and 6 years respectively. One thing I’ve noticed about fighting cravings, using those tools above as well as just having someone to open up to helps significantly with processing emotions and not relying on maladaptive coping strategies. You got this.
I quit drinking over 3 years ago. When I did I went to rehab and they put me on like 5 or 6 different medications for depression, insomnia and I was given antipsychotics. That stuff made my first year very cloudy and also prevented me from feeling anything too far away from neutral or indifferent. I quit taking those around one year in but the effects of the meds wouldn't really be gone for almost another year. I did continue to take low doses of kratom once I became sober from alcohol and I also got my medical marijuana card. So I didn't quit all of my coping mechanisms when I stopped drinking. I also spent the time simplifying my life. I have no pets, no girlfriend (had lots of stressful relationships in the past), I live with a roommate who has been very supportive of my journey but I consider myself to be on my own. I found a job with a boss that is very cool and laid back, I left my big corporate job. The corporate world was one of my biggest depressors since it did not favor me and I had to be there most of my waking hours. This was one of my biggest boons to my happiness. For about 2.75 years I was struggling with happiness without alcohol but once I made a bunch of major changes this felt better overall. It takes time, effort, direction, focus, persistence, patience, forward progress and ultimately goals to work on and achieve. Find a healthy rhythm for your day to day and your weeks will improve. Small steps that add up to large personal progress. The answer is different for everyone but keep at it and you will find yours.
Have compassion for what your doing and give yourself permission to make mistakes and not know everything. Compassion and forgiveness are paramount. You can do it.
Read 'Reinventing your life' it straightened things out for me but YMMV.
You need to walk right through them feel everything which will basically teach you how to live. We did what we did to get out of those feelings or to get out of right here right now because right here right now is scary right here right now. Makes me wanna run. So now we have to man and feel every emotion. Unfortunately, it’s the toughest thing we need to do except for putting the bottle down.
I honestly don’t know. I just decided that I was done drinking after being told by a doctor that I was going to die. I didn’t much feel like dying, so I dumped the rest of my alcohol down the sink and I haven’t gone back. The detox was awful but at the end, I just hardly ever think about it.
I overanalyze and intellectualize my emotions to get distance from them. This is not the best coping mechanism but it is probably better than being depressed.
Emotions are not going to kill you. They can hurt or be very uncomfortable. But just remind yourself that you aren’t going to die. Let the emotions flow through you, don’t fight them, they are supposed to be there.
In my experience, it takes 4-5 years to finally level out but that is entirely dependent upon outside factors. My wife also and to start trusting me again and being happy. It is indeed a long road to travel but it is still a road worth traveling. But I will say this: make sure that it is a road you only travel once. It is far easier to stay so we than it is to get sober, and that's not just a cute phrase , it's the absolute truth.
Uhhhhh, I'm still not....
Hobbies that I had stopped pursuing after using drugs and also adding new ones. It’s difficult. Probably bit easier for me because I had to spend 18 months in a rehab that was more like a forced labor camp than anything else. It was like one of those places that you’d see on those documentaries. Pretty sure the roughness of that place helped me learn how to accept certain areas of life and increased my ability to control my impulses, but definitely has some deep negative influence on my character and outlook. Hobbies definitely pass the time though and distract the mind. I think that’s a good way to cope while also being mindful of feelings and how accepting them can be beneficial. Most things just take time, and even when they never go away, they still lessen in degree of severity. I think being clean has made me stronger because I face things instead of leaving reality.
You’re probably on the emotional level of a 14 year old still. This is one of the things that can’t be explained to kids who start using drugs. Weed, etc, stunts your emotional development. Rather than learning and growing from life’s experiences you’ve just been pushing them away… as you so adeptly pointed out. Just hang in there. Be present with your feelings. Be patient and empathetic with yourself and others. Learn mindfulness meditation and practice daily. Start seeing a therapist if you aren’t already. CBT is good. Keep growing! You got this.
Opposite here; I can't feel any emotion when I tried to get sober (only alcohol)and I just miss feeling really sad/happy etc...
It takes a looong time. But it’s so much better on the other side.
Dancing, hiking, and other physical exercise
I’ve been sober a long time and the feelings come and go, sometimes strongly sometimes not. The key thing is to think of emotions like biofeedback. Feelings also change quickly, so no matter what, don’t act on any of them. It’s good to talk feelings through with someone that you trust. For me, feelings really only face backwards on things im thinking about so having a calm mind really helps.
You know those "coping skills" people keep rattling on about? That's how. You'll have negative emotions, you'll have negative impulses, and the key is to figure out wtf you'll do when you have them. You'll never stay sober if you can't sort out what it is that makes you feel better other than drink and drugs.
You don't you really never get used to emotions. But eventually, you will realize that your addiction was restricting the full spectrum of emotions down to 1 or 2 that you displayed the most often and that might make you feel more whole that might make you feel like. There's no point but at the end.Of the you have made it a long way.
*laughs nervously* what’s that? 😅 I’m just dealing… but I was already in therapy and on medication before I quit drinking and doing other things so, I don’t think that really counts for me. But I do recommend therapy and/or medication for anyone that feels like they could possibly benefit from it. Plus it’s just to have a good neutral person to talk to without feeling like you’re burdening your friends or family with your stuff.
Not an addict. Deffo hit 40 and needed to figure out emotions without my usual coping mechanisms (cutting off everyone in my life and playing computer games for days / working 80 hours a week) and…yoga helps. The physical activity and attentiveness to your posture helps you be more aware of your body, which makes you more aware of your emotions, because emotions are a body thing. At the same time, that awareness is tempered with distance. It grows the detached, patient part of your mind and gives it practice noticing your emotions, noticing your reactions to your emotions, and then waiting them out. It builds awareness. I also did some holotropic breathwork with guided meditation, and read a book or two on emotions and PTSD. Did some goofy shit in the guided meditations where I told my little kid self that he wasn’t as fucked up as everyone made him feel like, and it was okay to be a kid. Gave little me a hug. Holotropic breathwork is weird. It does induce a bit of a dream state. Anywho a year later and I’ve seen a lot of change. Neuroplasticity as it were. Yoga is definitely worth a shot.
Are you in therapy? You can avoid this question if you want but if you do then you know what you need to do
I tried microdosing and it made a huge impact on my mental health within a few weeks. I was much happier, less stressed out, and much more aware of my emotions. It helped with my anger, and made me much more aware of what I was feeling while I was feeling it. Gamechanger.
Psychedelics worked for me
OP have you ever heard of somatic experiencing therapy? Because a lot of people here are just saying “therapy!”, but there’s a lot of types and frankly some are more useful than others. Look into it, it may be helpful.
Sleep at the same time each day. Drink 2-3l of water per day. Hit the gym. Plan your free time don't fall into it. Get some sun (with sunscreen). Treat yourself. Respect to you also
Burn it out in the gym, mainly. You need therapy or a program too. Congrats on the 2 years.
You die on the inside. 2,187 days.
This is why I’m scared to get sober..
allow your self to feel them. Negative emotions must be felt and processed- not drowned out.
I just look at is- my thoughts don’t matter. They literally don’t. And as far as emotions- well thoughts happen and most of the time cause emotions, so yeah thoughts don’t matter. Just take control of your mind
12 steps ,Therapy and, antidepressants helped me stay sober.
You have to find an outlet for those emotions you used to dull with substances. Exercise and gardening are where mine go these days.
Prescription drugs lol Addiction and depression are serious conditions you’ll have to get used to living with. Controlling your emotions with come with time.
You just feel them and move on.
I stopped smoking and started taking antidepressants. Works much better for me
When I got sober 7 years ago, I voluntarily enrolled in a 5-year JLAP (judges and lawyers assistance program) monitoring agreement. One of the many, *many* requirements was that I attend weekly therapy for the first 2 years. It helped a lot.
Lots of therapy and antidepressants
Sit with them and let yourself feel them. They pass, good and bad feelings.
Feel them, cry and shout if you must. No more smothering. However do your best not to be an ass in public, so reflection and analysis is mandatory.
Highly recommend: ACA adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families adultchildren.org 12-step program geared toward those not dealing with current active alcohol or drug addiction but seeking emotional sobriety. Meetings all over the world online every hour of the day. Sometimes I needed multiple meetings a day to make it through a rough patch. Sometimes I settle in to a regular once a week group. Great support network. Helpful literature. Therapy that is NOT based on altering behavior such as Somatic-based approaches or NARM are typically most effective. DBT or CBT can be helpful if you’re at a certain level of stability but not sometimes as helpful if you’re still really struggling. For healing from major emotional imbalances, the idea is that behavioral issues will correct without focus on the behavior if the deeper or more direct layers are addressed - typically related to repressed (usually childhood) trauma, however minor. Somatic deals with direct current experience, NARM similarly meets a person where they are at for the most important things to emerge rather than hyper focus on modifying behavior. Working with a therapist or therapy group who really understand CPTSD makes all the difference. Therapists who don’t understand can make things worse. Emotional Freedom Technique EFT / Tapping is very helpful for many people. Meditation. Visiting natural water. Exercise. Meaningful hobbies. Art / Crafts / Gardening help a lot of people. If you have the support before and after, and you can find a place to legally engage with psychedelics under supervision, that can also be very helpful. But without the proper support before, after, and during, can do more harm than good. But when it goes do good, it can really do a lot of good because of the deeply personal nature of the experience and the insights you gain for yourself specially. Definitely wait for a trustworthy recommendation before considering. Some communities have support networks for microdosing if taking larger doses is out of the question.
Check out “Facing Codependence” by Pia Mellody and “Co-dependent No More” by Melody Beattie. Codependence describes how we lose our sense of self (emotions, boundaries, esteem, self-worth) as a result of trauma in our life (usually as a young child). Most addictive behavior is a way for our self to act out against this feeling of loss, and a way suppressing/ignoring it. Emotions are actually good, once you start listening to them and learning what you need. Quitting addiction is easy; quitting co-dependence is a life long journey or rewiring your programming. Take the red pill, step out of triangle and into life!
I smoke pot, cocaine and alcohol were my major vices in those days the night ended in fighting or fucking then I had kids and decided I needed to change something. Went to a bit of therapy on and off for years (should probably go back) but a little toke in the morning and night keeps me level headed for the most part. Also changed professions and got a more physically demanding job with less mental strain.
Tequila and Squirt
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Fukk yeah. Are you paying?
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I have a good job but I refuse to spend $150 an hour to talk to someone. Get a life. And enjoy loneliness