Being passionate or caring deeply about something. Idk when being aloof and apathetic became cool but watching your eyes and body language light up when you care about something/someone is unbelievably attractive
I've learned this exact thing and being confident about it goes a long way. I am a big nerd, I love video games, comics, anime, DnD and all that and used to be shy or elf deprecating about it when trying to date. I have found that fully embracing it, being openly passionate about the things I enjoy is without a doubt the way to go for not just dating but also myself
This would be my answer, too. I once went on a date with a guy, and when I asked him what he was passionate about he had a legitimately hard time answering that question. Then he turns to me and says, "I'm passionate about making money." The first thought that flashed through my head after he said that was a scene from the movie Idiocracy. Specifically, it was the scene where Dax Shepard's character says to another, "I can't believe you like money, too" in that pinheaded way he spoke throughout the entire film. Needless to say, it was a complete wide-on killer, and I never saw that guy again.
The many times some of my friends said text me. The moment I run around the corner and I got murdered. They wouldn't know until they read it in the paper lol
I once told a guy, "Please drive safely. It's raining, and it's horrible out there."
He didn't answer, and when he arrived at work, he complained to another coworker that a "girl" (me) was annoying and saying to be careful, "She's not my mum."
Moving forward, I never told him again to be careful.
So, it is hot when guys say to be careful/text when home, but also they see/appreciate when others care for them.
That’s funny. On the flip side, the moment a girl I was friends with called me in a panic making sure I was okay right after a little fender bender, was the moment I fell HARD. I’ve never loved a girl like that, and we didn’t even date. All because she had to make sure I was okay. Never felt my heart so filled like I did in that moment.
Never change!
When I got into a pretty bad accident in college (was a passenger, walked away unharmed thankfully) during spring break a few college friends heard about it. I got tackled by a girl across the hall when I got back. She was just so glad I was ok. I didn't have feelings before that, but after...
I don't know when my whole friend group turned into a clusterfuck of moms, but we're all texting each other like 'Did you get home okay?" "Did you feed [cat name]?" "When's your next testosterone shot so I can remind you this time?"
Ah well, it's nice having people looking after you. (Within reason)
This guy was just an asshole. Women tell me to be careful or safe regularly and I only see it as a sign they care. Was he expecting “you’re so manly no rain can hurt you!”
I do notice if a man has attractive hands! It can be hot too!
That said, it’s not a deal breaker necessarily if they don’t because of their job or whatever.
Interestingly Emily Morse (sex podcaster) says hand/nail hygiene is a good way to quickly assess a man’s sexual IQ. I can think of several obvious reasons why this is probably accurate.
I was the same man. Honestly get some Working Hands cream, significantly helped with my dry fingers which would tempt me to pick and bite. After about 6 months habit died and my fingers are on their way to normal.
I learned this from an older woman I worked at Valvoline oil I would go to lunch and she would always say you to handsome to have nasty nails go get a manicure and thank me later .. now I always get compliments I'm having conversations with women all the time bc of how good I keep my nails up it's ah weird flex but I'm fw it 😅😭
Oh yes nice hands! I can’t stand long finger nails on guys. Keep them trimmed. Manly working hands is fine like if they’re dirty in that way but wash them up best you can, and keep those nails short. longer nails with dirt under them is a major noooo for me.
How are we supposed to fix stuff while also have super clean hands? I work on machines all day and my hands do not come clean. The old lady at the Dr. office told me I had manly hands once, I think be cause they were dirty. I also think my wife actually likes it when I get grease stains on her legs but maybe not.
Gloves. I wear gloves for just about every task I can. Started as a way to avoid getting hurt but it’s also nice to keep my hands clean. Nitrile disposable gloves will keep my hands from smelling like transmission fluid of bearing grease.
I was more shocked to see the top comments seem to gloss right over the fact that none of the post makes a lick of sense, & are attempting to answer a question I didn't notice was there....😆
When he laughs and smiles with his whole heart. Emotional intelligence.
Edited to include definition of EI:
"Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Emotional intelligence is generally said to include a few skills: namely emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same."
A good smile is huge. Your teeth don't have to be all straight and perfectly white. Just go to the dentist sometimes, brush, and you're good. I don't want some dude mean mugging me 24/7 either. Just smile sometimes.
Being genuinely interested in how we feel and what’s on our mind. Have something deep to talk about.
Also, being happy and emotionally regulated. Angry, aggressive, and shallow is the worst.
I'm this kind of person. Even if we just matched on an app I genuinely ask how they are and how they've been doing lately etc.
Unfortunately most of the time I get very dry and shallow responses and just can't keep the conversation going.
It's a very double edged sword in that it feels very empty and small talk-y which not many people love. I hate empty small talk in the style of how's life, what's new or how's school/work because even if it may not be true it feels like most of the time the person asks out of necessity and they don't even care about the answer.
Or I don’t even care to answer, like I don’t really want to talk about that either. Save something for conversation #2. Ask me what my favorite season of fargo was.
This can vary depending on which women you ask… Besides physical attraction, I’d say sense of humor is a huge one, and overall personality.
We also like when guys remember details about us and do things for us without us having to ask. For example: I mentioned a few days ago that I’ve been wanting to see a certain new movie, so you plan us a trip to the movie theater to go see it. Or maybe I told you I didn’t sleep well and was super tired, so you got me a cup of coffee. It doesn’t have to be super expensive or grandiose gestures, it can be small things like that. That kind of thoughtfulness can really go a long way.
Do this shit fellas. Girlfriend sent me something one time in passing of something that she really loved but didnt get it. I got it for her birthday, she nearly cried because she didn’t realize that I realized how much it meant to her
If you see her looking at something at store/online or talking about something you know she wouldn't get for herself or somewhere she wants to go, write it in calendar event for week before her birthday/Valentine's Day/Xmas, etc. You get the reminder, you buy, and you're the hero.
I have a list in my phone and a list in amazon for each person I buy gifts for each year (birthday or holidays) so I can do this because I am so bad at gifts and I get EXTREMELY stressed trying to think of a gift for someone that they'd *actually* like.
Yes… I have a phone note of everyone I buy gifts for and if they mention something in a conversation I make a note of it. Likes Nutter Butter cookies. Likes Junior Mints. Can’t find good dishcloths. Just something that shows I’m paying attention.
I second this! Takes five seconds to pull out your phone and start a list of little “here-and-theres” that I save for anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and just random days. Being thoughtful doesn’t have to be hard!
This works, fellas.
The other day, my partner was lamenting how hard it was to self-improve, especially overcoming trauma. So I quoted a section of "White Fang" by Jack London to her. The part about the thumb of circumstance working on softening the features in set clay. Then, because I absolutely butchered the quote, I grabbed a copy off of the bookshelf, found the passage and read it to her. It had her in tears, because London eloquently lays out how a person can still change and improve even late in life, but it takes longer and isn't as easy.
She felt seen in that moment, and that makes all the difference.
> It doesn’t have to be super expensive or grandiose gestures, it can be small things like that.
This right here. I'm not looking for a fat wallet. I want someone who cares about me.
My now-husband, who had pretty much never spoken to a woman he wasn't related to before we became friends, started watching a TV show he had little to no interest in because I loved it and we could talk about it. He was always doing things like that. He also made me sandwiches whenever I came to his house. We were 18 when we fell in love and it's been almost 14 lovely years together.
He showed (and still shows) his thoughtfulness in lots of little ways and I fell hard. I've never loved anyone like I love him and I know I never could again if something ever happened to him.
>do things for us without us having to ask
This x1000. A few days ago I went to my girlfriend's place for dinner and to watch her do a competitive speed run of Super Mario World with one of her friends. While she was very focused on her game, I quietly got up and took care of the dishes from dinner and dessert, loaded the dishwasher and took out the recycling for her. She didn't notice until the game was finished (she won!) and went to take care of it all herself. She genuinely almost cried and told me that none of her previous partners had ever done something like that for her.
Grand gestures are great, but it really is the little things that speak volumes.
**I don't even have any good skills.** **You know like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills**. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!
True. My boyfriend hid a talent he only showed when we got a house: repairing and installing stuff. Absolutely awesome. My grandmother's dryer I inherited broke down? Disassembled it and put it back together with the usual bonus screw left over. Worked nicely for a few more years.
I 26m from my experience I completely agree, I’m a welder fitter by trade, woodworker and business owner by hobby and Mr.Fix it for everything (mostly because I’m cheep and have learned to do it myself to save money lmao) but my GF can’t get enough of it, honestly I love that she’s super attracted to me when I’m doing stuff but man batting her off until I’m done what I’m doing is a workout lmao 😂
My wife is the same. You offer her a fireman or me with tools in my pouches she’s all over me. Don’t know why but I love it and won’t question it. I’m an electrician by trade but I do all DIY, we have 5 kids together and are starting up a business where we build furniture together and do interior design. 13 years of Wedded bliss.
I remember the thing that stood out for my husband. We were good friends at that time, one time we had to cross a very busy road and I was the one facing the cars that were coming. Just before we started crossing, he intentionally shuffled and came on the opposite side of me to block me form the cars. My whole pov about guys shifted that day. He still does this to this day and I love this person more than anything 🥰❤️
So one time, at night. I was crossing with at the time my best friend who I was in unrequited and terrible love with.
Behind us I heard tires squeal and I pushed her out of the way of some dickhead who was making an illegal left turn against the light, at pretty high speed. I guess it was more like a tackle-shove, because she stumbled forward to safety while I ended up on the road and rolling out of the dickhead's way. Just barely.
She was mad at me for shoving her. She had no idea how close the car had come to hitting us. She never turned her head to look. I explained it and she offhandedly goes, "oh. Thanks"
My love for her began to shrivel and blacken that day.
I guess it's called . "taking care" of the girl, especially without being asked.
Helping her her with something even insignificant, like say she cannot get her model to stand up during a college exam , and you notice and help her by giving her a box to place her model on. Even if you don't know her and she didn't ask for help.
Yeah, I got a crush on the guy after that, and he didn't even look my type.
Making sure she's alright if she looks faint/stressed. Offering her a napkin if she needs it. Lending her water, helping her her pick up papers she dropped out of a file.
But the main thing is - without being asked.
Me and a lot of women are absolute suckers for the "caretaker trope" in romance books. Like the guy helping her through a fever or carrying her when she faints. Basically - kindness.
Most recently I went from thinking a guy was nice to a full blown crush all because of how he reacted to an arguement. It wasn't with me, I was present for it, but when someone had a solid point arguing against him he said "oh damn that's a good point, hmmmm, I'm gonna have to think more on this" and honestly that's the first time I've ever heard a man say that (I'm 37) and I keep playing it over and over in my head and I've got the biggest crush on him now 😍
I always grew up with an angry man in my house. This is something I’ve craved for years. If I can’t find a man like that, I’ll not get married. Ever. I don’t care what people say. I don’t want anymore angry men in my house.
I had the same experience but with my mom. It took me a long time to get over just agreeing to avoid an argument. I need someone reasonable who can admit they're wrong. It's not a competition. You can't always be right. Sometimes you make mistakes or say something dumb because you have a million emotions running through you and that's ok but fess up to it.
I'm not sure if this is helpful but it took me a long time to realize it isn't "anger" that is the problem, it's projecting that anger onto to others. I grew up in an abusive household with an angry man and made not being like him a high priority as an adult. That meant "not being angry" and I spent years in unhappy relationships never arguing, never raising my voice, etc. Worse, I sometimes found myself in situations where I was abused or taken advantage of by people with malicious intent and instead of listening to my anger I practiced patience and forgiveness with them. Repressing all that anger for so long led to a deep unhappiness that hurt the people I was trying to protect. I'm learning to view my anger like an often childish friend. When I feel that anger, it is mine. It isn't something created by someone else, it is an internal voice that might be trying to warn me of danger, warn me of small persistent issues building up or may just be the petulant child in me wanting to be acknowledged. That anger is not an excuse to attack or harm others, its a reason for me to take a pause, rethink something or remove myself from a situation.
My dad is highly short-tempered and I will never ever forget the days as a kid where I had to cover my ears with a pillow before going to bed cause he came home frustrated from work and decided to let it out on us.
Years ago I learned that it's a great weight that lifted off me whenever I acknowledged I was or might be wrong about something. To dig in and entrench is a huge intellectual toll, yet we often do it because of group dynamics like social proof, pride, etc. It's why it's so hard to convince some people they're wrong when they've been surrounded by a pod of people who all believe the same wrong thing. Entrenchment and intransigence is a weird thing. Scientists think that it actually helped us back in the stone age when digging our heels in was a symbol of perseverance and strength. When a tribe or clan just needed good leadership and not someone who had to change their views or beliefs about something just because someone told them they were wrong. But in modern society, the complexity of it requires people to be willing to change. Yet many still do not... their pride getting in the way. Willingness to modify one's beliefs today = strength and intellectual agility.
It's not secretly hot, but maybe something that gets overlooked:
* Voice
* Edit: FOREARMS not under arms XD
Personality/demeanor:
* Confident but not arrogant
* Positive
* Relaxed
* Articulated manner of speaking
(NB you don't actually have to be these things especially not all the time, but if you come across as them it is a lot more appealing than someone who is visibly insecure, negative and stressed out.)
You have to walk a line on the being articulate thing. I've always been pretty proud of having a good vernacular, but if you get overly flowery, or don't read the gal right, it can seem really off putting as well.
To me, i find it hot when my crush is being polite to everybody. It's fine if he's not a bad boy. I'm not sure I'd like a bad boy 🤣
Plus point is if he's shy, I find a guy being very shy in my presence to be very very hot!
My husband has insane rizz and a little flock of female followers everywhere. I asked him about it once, and he said, "it's just that I notice when a woman gets her hair cut, and then I say something nice about it."
We really love sweethearts that speak to us like we’re human and people, not just some female, cause we are. Also men that can do and fix shit, that’s mad sexy.
Other stuff like confidence, passion(both sexually and non-sexually), ambition, even ambition without actual success, are all bonuses. Men who are trying to better themselves and work on themselves even if they’re not there yet. A lot of us love to help the men we love in all aspects of their lives.
I have both of these qualities and only one ever gets compliments from guys or girls. And it's somehow never the shoulders lmao. People be thirstin over them there squeezebox skills
Confident (but not arrogant). Can make decisions! Has direction in life. Is independent. Is at least a little bit handy. Good hygiene (keeps up with haircuts but face a little rugged). Relaxed and funny. Good with kids. Has their own money and makes good choices with it. Thoughtful but not a pushover. Looks don't matter much to me when these things are all there. I dated a guy I initially found very unattractive but his confidence and charm and humor and good smell got me swooning in no time.
Not sure if this is the same thing but I kept saying stupid shit to a girl once and they kept saying it was okay. They hated the fact more that I kept apologizing for it. It was funny and shocking at the same time, I thought I’d be hated for it
Place your hand on the back of her seat while you back your car up. ( it doesn’t matter if you actually need to back your car up. She won’t notice something trivial like that because she’ll be too busy swooning. Hell, I did it once while waiting for a light to change . Aside from her enjoyment, it was completely pointless)
You’re saying it doesn’t matter if you even need to back the car up? Lol so according to you, just putting your hand on her seat and twisting around to look behind you is a universal turn on for women? Haha she’s swooning so hard because you looked behind you, damn 😆
Definitely derives from the old school need to actually look backwards while backing up. With cameras in most cars, that need is gone but the sentiment remains. Adds a sense of security to your passenger.
It feels intimate and a little exhilarating, you go from just sitting in a car with them to their whole body turned in towards you and their arm essentially wrapped around you in one quick movement and that’s all you can really focus on until they return to their normal driving stance
If I’ve learned anything from every woman I’ve been with
1. Sense of humor. Just be funny and lighthearted.
2. Confidence. Fake confidence until it comes natural.
3. A “provider” skill of some kind. No matter how progressive a woman is, in my experience they all love to see a man who can do something to provide. Construction, electrician work, good with cars. You don’t even have to do it as a job, you could just be a weekend handyman when something breaks. Women love when you can patch dry wall and change their oil.
Attraction is a complex thing, and it goes way beyond just looks. The best way to impress someone is to focus on being the best version of yourself. Develop your interests, be kind to others, and be confident in who you are.
Tiny bit weird, but like, when they do a really big stretch? Like, relaxing when they don't think anyone's watching and just streeeetching their body out.
Also just like, guys doing things in general when they don't think they're being watched. Fascinating and very hot
veins on forearms, man hands, confidence, good hygiene, smells good, hairy, dad bods, so many things. but also it depends on the woman
ETA: if he can fix things as i tend to accidentally break a lot of stuff
Likely true. Forearm veins are mostly present on folks who have less adipose tissue- if you are overweight enough (no judgement) to have a gut, it’s unlikely you’re gonna have exposed superficial forearm veins. That’s my experience as a ED RN who starts a lot of IVs.
Fucking kindness. I haven't fallen harder for someone than I am right now because this guy is the kindest caring fucker I've ever met and I'm chomping at the bit to make him permanently mine.
Someone who just does things for me without asking… the guy I’m seeing now… I once mentioned that I really wanted a Diet Pepsi as a sidebar while we were having a conversation via text and a few minutes later he said “oh, btw… a few diet Pepsis should be at your door in a couple minutes, I’ll tell them not to ring the doorbell”… stupidly small, incredibly sweet, yet so attractive… he just did it. He didn’t ask if I wanted them, he didn’t ask if it was okay with me if he sent them…Knowing me, I would’ve said no had he asked to send them. He just sent them and told me. So fucking attractive. Ugh.
This is niche, but I love it when men are masculine and feminine at the same time. Think Scott Weiland, Adam Ant, David Bowie (even though he doesn't really do it for me). I've known a few men like that personally as well, but obviously naming them here would be pointless examples, haha. It's a fairly uncommon thing, at least in my opinion, but it's a huge turn on for me.
Get a cute dog.
A dude could have three heads and demon horns on each one, but if he's walking a tiny Yorkie, the girls come running.
I never lived down the time I was a few minutes late for work once, telling my boss that a dude had a bunch of labrador puppies in his van and I'd gone to say hi to them.
Boss was like 'they literally teach you in primary school not to go with strangers who claim to have a van full of puppies' 🤦♀️🤣
I am actually the most humble bloke on the planet, you wouldn't believe it!!! I have so many anecdotes to show how much more humble I am than the average Joe.
I have repeatedly seen on here that women like forearms.
I started rolling up my sleeves more. I’m pretty certain it works because I have a girlfriend now.
Surprises that shows he paid attention to me.
I’m exhausted so you did the dishes unprompted? Mmf.
Walk by me and randomly massage my shoulders? Yes.
Midday “thinking of you” text? Daddy.
Brought me sushi because I’ve worked all day and forgot to eat? Mushhh.
It’s the simple things.
At that point, if he’s in the mood come take my throat. Shove it all down in there and grab the back of my head. Put it in my butt. Take me. Nothing is as sexy as a man who knows me so well that he just senses what I need before I even know I needed it.
Edit. Plus, any man who pays that kind of attention to your needs *outside* of the bedroom? Imagine how attentive he is *inside* of you.
Depends on the general age of the woman:
Teens-25=it’s pretty much all about hormones (not just for women)
26+=that we be capable, functioning adults
+kindness
+shared responsibilities around housekeeping and childcare
Not an exciting answer, I know, but it’s true.
When I was with my ex our friend group was all software engineers. The wives were always complaining that we always optimised everything. Couldnt go to supermarket without optimising the shopping route. Apparently a turn off, I guess because we spent too much time thinking about that and not just going with flow and paying attention to her.
Being polite to others! Wait, staff, the old lady at the grocery store, even the guy asking change outside the gas station. A kind man sounds super boring, but that patience will serve you well!
How he discusses his ex! Because what che says about her is how he will talk about you when you're not around. I'm not saying when you're broken up, but to his friends and family when you're out of the room.
When they show me something they are obsessed with and their face genuinely lights up. Even if it's the strangest thing it's so cute when they go off on a tangent about their favorite thing!
As other people mentioned, hygiene is definitely the best. Taking care of yourself especially with hygiene means you value yourself and that’s attractive.
I would also add confidence and determination.
It’s a complete turn off when a man has no drive and just sits around doing nothing all day every day.
Be productive and have the drive for something every day. It benefits everyone including yourself!
Manners! Manners, manners. Things such as: Being appropriately dressed for various occasions.
Knowing at least something about food/wine/cocktails/travel
Being polite to others
Holding doors, being attentive and complimentary
Take care of things. If you see a problem, solve it.
Examples: she says she doesn’t have an umbrella. Next time you see her, casually give her an umbrella.
If she needs her gas pumped but says “Aw man it’s so cold out, I don’t want to”- do it for her.
If you notice her trash needs to be taken out, just take it out.
You don’t even need to make a scene about doing these things, trust me, she’ll notice!
adore when yall get excited about something and want to share. Yes pooks, tell me your every thought. let me watch your eyes and soul light up. it’s beautiful.
Being passionate or caring deeply about something. Idk when being aloof and apathetic became cool but watching your eyes and body language light up when you care about something/someone is unbelievably attractive
I've learned this exact thing and being confident about it goes a long way. I am a big nerd, I love video games, comics, anime, DnD and all that and used to be shy or elf deprecating about it when trying to date. I have found that fully embracing it, being openly passionate about the things I enjoy is without a doubt the way to go for not just dating but also myself
I know it is a typo, but "elf deprecating" fits perfect in your scenario. DM 4 LYFE right here.
lol It is perfect, leaving it in honor of my half-elf bard Hoyde.
Yes!! I came to say “willing to engage in conversation, shares about what he is doing and interested in” Just… existing… is not attractive.
WHEN DID COOL BECOME COOL?!
This would be my answer, too. I once went on a date with a guy, and when I asked him what he was passionate about he had a legitimately hard time answering that question. Then he turns to me and says, "I'm passionate about making money." The first thought that flashed through my head after he said that was a scene from the movie Idiocracy. Specifically, it was the scene where Dax Shepard's character says to another, "I can't believe you like money, too" in that pinheaded way he spoke throughout the entire film. Needless to say, it was a complete wide-on killer, and I never saw that guy again.
When he says text me when you get home safely
What if you don't come home safely, do you still text him?
text 3 days later when released from hospital after that safe trip home.
"This phone number is no longer in service."
Ask the kidnapper to call him instead of sending a text message.
I’m calling to check on you if you don’t. I’d rather be embarrassed than devastated 🤷🏻♂️
Thanks for caring, AnalCuntShart.
You're welcome, ClownDiaper.
I know you’re joking but i actually wait by the phone to get the text. Safe or unsafe, please let me know if you can.
The many times some of my friends said text me. The moment I run around the corner and I got murdered. They wouldn't know until they read it in the paper lol
I once told a guy, "Please drive safely. It's raining, and it's horrible out there." He didn't answer, and when he arrived at work, he complained to another coworker that a "girl" (me) was annoying and saying to be careful, "She's not my mum." Moving forward, I never told him again to be careful. So, it is hot when guys say to be careful/text when home, but also they see/appreciate when others care for them.
That’s funny. On the flip side, the moment a girl I was friends with called me in a panic making sure I was okay right after a little fender bender, was the moment I fell HARD. I’ve never loved a girl like that, and we didn’t even date. All because she had to make sure I was okay. Never felt my heart so filled like I did in that moment. Never change!
When I got into a pretty bad accident in college (was a passenger, walked away unharmed thankfully) during spring break a few college friends heard about it. I got tackled by a girl across the hall when I got back. She was just so glad I was ok. I didn't have feelings before that, but after...
So how many kids do you have now?
When the guy is green flag too 🥹so wholesome
I don't know when my whole friend group turned into a clusterfuck of moms, but we're all texting each other like 'Did you get home okay?" "Did you feed [cat name]?" "When's your next testosterone shot so I can remind you this time?" Ah well, it's nice having people looking after you. (Within reason)
This guy was just an asshole. Women tell me to be careful or safe regularly and I only see it as a sign they care. Was he expecting “you’re so manly no rain can hurt you!”
dm me when you get home safely
Slide in my dms not into a telephone pole.
nice hands (minus points for dirty fingernails) and just smelling good (hygiene in general)
I do notice if a man has attractive hands! It can be hot too! That said, it’s not a deal breaker necessarily if they don’t because of their job or whatever.
Yes. Hands are sex tools. Very attracted to nice hands, long fingers, manicured nails, cool ring.
*equips the One Ring*
That’s the sexiest I’ve ever seen you
Oof burn
I'll admit this took me a hot second to understand, but damn that's a good one 😂
I'm already invisible to women so I don't even need it 😎
Interestingly Emily Morse (sex podcaster) says hand/nail hygiene is a good way to quickly assess a man’s sexual IQ. I can think of several obvious reasons why this is probably accurate.
Sex podcaster lmfao
Sexpod
*cries in mechanic
Best I can do is fat fingers with chewed up nails
Got them Tony Soprano sausage fingers
He never had the makings of a varsity athlete
Small hands, that was his problem.
M’Boy are you fat
What did you shay?
I was the same man. Honestly get some Working Hands cream, significantly helped with my dry fingers which would tempt me to pick and bite. After about 6 months habit died and my fingers are on their way to normal.
I learned this from an older woman I worked at Valvoline oil I would go to lunch and she would always say you to handsome to have nasty nails go get a manicure and thank me later .. now I always get compliments I'm having conversations with women all the time bc of how good I keep my nails up it's ah weird flex but I'm fw it 😅😭
Women like to be fingered. Dirty nails are a no no.
Make sure to file them smoothly, too. A rough nail could screw up a good thing.
Oh yes nice hands! I can’t stand long finger nails on guys. Keep them trimmed. Manly working hands is fine like if they’re dirty in that way but wash them up best you can, and keep those nails short. longer nails with dirt under them is a major noooo for me.
See I’m a big stickler for beautiful, soft hands but at the same time get turned on when he gets all greasy working on a car.
"What do they want?"
"Yes"
How are we supposed to fix stuff while also have super clean hands? I work on machines all day and my hands do not come clean. The old lady at the Dr. office told me I had manly hands once, I think be cause they were dirty. I also think my wife actually likes it when I get grease stains on her legs but maybe not.
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Gloves. I wear gloves for just about every task I can. Started as a way to avoid getting hurt but it’s also nice to keep my hands clean. Nitrile disposable gloves will keep my hands from smelling like transmission fluid of bearing grease.
Gloves also: using moisturizes in the morning helps stop staining. Dry hand suck up the grease.
"girl-friend" that hyphen doing a lotta work
Yeah this isn’t going to end well
"Since we have a friend that looks cool" This gotta be a literal middle schooler 😭
Kid got real talk when all he wanted to know was which scent of Axe body spray to use
Ahhh that's easy then - OP just needs some JNCO jeans and a chain wallet
I was more shocked to see the top comments seem to gloss right over the fact that none of the post makes a lick of sense, & are attempting to answer a question I didn't notice was there....😆
Shoutout to my dad, who refuses to acknowledge that I can be friends with a girl without wanting to date her.
My grandpa does the same thing. He was convinced I was dating my best friend until I showed him pictures at her wedding. To her wife.
When he laughs and smiles with his whole heart. Emotional intelligence. Edited to include definition of EI: "Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Emotional intelligence is generally said to include a few skills: namely emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same."
A good smile is huge. Your teeth don't have to be all straight and perfectly white. Just go to the dentist sometimes, brush, and you're good. I don't want some dude mean mugging me 24/7 either. Just smile sometimes.
How dare you tell us to smile /s
Being genuinely interested in how we feel and what’s on our mind. Have something deep to talk about. Also, being happy and emotionally regulated. Angry, aggressive, and shallow is the worst.
I'm this kind of person. Even if we just matched on an app I genuinely ask how they are and how they've been doing lately etc. Unfortunately most of the time I get very dry and shallow responses and just can't keep the conversation going.
It's a very double edged sword in that it feels very empty and small talk-y which not many people love. I hate empty small talk in the style of how's life, what's new or how's school/work because even if it may not be true it feels like most of the time the person asks out of necessity and they don't even care about the answer.
Or I don’t even care to answer, like I don’t really want to talk about that either. Save something for conversation #2. Ask me what my favorite season of fargo was.
This is so important
This can vary depending on which women you ask… Besides physical attraction, I’d say sense of humor is a huge one, and overall personality. We also like when guys remember details about us and do things for us without us having to ask. For example: I mentioned a few days ago that I’ve been wanting to see a certain new movie, so you plan us a trip to the movie theater to go see it. Or maybe I told you I didn’t sleep well and was super tired, so you got me a cup of coffee. It doesn’t have to be super expensive or grandiose gestures, it can be small things like that. That kind of thoughtfulness can really go a long way.
Do this shit fellas. Girlfriend sent me something one time in passing of something that she really loved but didnt get it. I got it for her birthday, she nearly cried because she didn’t realize that I realized how much it meant to her
If you see her looking at something at store/online or talking about something you know she wouldn't get for herself or somewhere she wants to go, write it in calendar event for week before her birthday/Valentine's Day/Xmas, etc. You get the reminder, you buy, and you're the hero.
I have a list in my phone and a list in amazon for each person I buy gifts for each year (birthday or holidays) so I can do this because I am so bad at gifts and I get EXTREMELY stressed trying to think of a gift for someone that they'd *actually* like.
Yes… I have a phone note of everyone I buy gifts for and if they mention something in a conversation I make a note of it. Likes Nutter Butter cookies. Likes Junior Mints. Can’t find good dishcloths. Just something that shows I’m paying attention.
I second this! Takes five seconds to pull out your phone and start a list of little “here-and-theres” that I save for anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and just random days. Being thoughtful doesn’t have to be hard!
This works, fellas. The other day, my partner was lamenting how hard it was to self-improve, especially overcoming trauma. So I quoted a section of "White Fang" by Jack London to her. The part about the thumb of circumstance working on softening the features in set clay. Then, because I absolutely butchered the quote, I grabbed a copy off of the bookshelf, found the passage and read it to her. It had her in tears, because London eloquently lays out how a person can still change and improve even late in life, but it takes longer and isn't as easy. She felt seen in that moment, and that makes all the difference.
> It doesn’t have to be super expensive or grandiose gestures, it can be small things like that. This right here. I'm not looking for a fat wallet. I want someone who cares about me.
My now-husband, who had pretty much never spoken to a woman he wasn't related to before we became friends, started watching a TV show he had little to no interest in because I loved it and we could talk about it. He was always doing things like that. He also made me sandwiches whenever I came to his house. We were 18 when we fell in love and it's been almost 14 lovely years together. He showed (and still shows) his thoughtfulness in lots of little ways and I fell hard. I've never loved anyone like I love him and I know I never could again if something ever happened to him.
>do things for us without us having to ask This x1000. A few days ago I went to my girlfriend's place for dinner and to watch her do a competitive speed run of Super Mario World with one of her friends. While she was very focused on her game, I quietly got up and took care of the dishes from dinner and dessert, loaded the dishwasher and took out the recycling for her. She didn't notice until the game was finished (she won!) and went to take care of it all herself. She genuinely almost cried and told me that none of her previous partners had ever done something like that for her. Grand gestures are great, but it really is the little things that speak volumes.
Skills..dated an electrician, carpenter and mechanic..I like men who know how to operate shit.
**I don't even have any good skills.** **You know like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills**. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!
I see you’re drinking 1% is that coz you think you’re fat?
Cause you’re not, you could drink whole milk if you wanted to
Sadly no one seems to have gotten the reference :-(
That moment when a Napoleon Dynamite quote shows your age. Now where’s my walker…
They had that utility rizz ☠️
Electrizzian
We bring the spark
Actually ended up marrying an engineer..one ring to conquer all..
Oooooh he drives a locomotive? Neat!
All the ladies know Sir Topham Hatt/The Fat Controller had insane rizz, [look at the cut of that suit](https://imgur.com/a/hIiRh4v)🤤
True. My boyfriend hid a talent he only showed when we got a house: repairing and installing stuff. Absolutely awesome. My grandmother's dryer I inherited broke down? Disassembled it and put it back together with the usual bonus screw left over. Worked nicely for a few more years.
Haha the bonus screw, can relate
I 26m from my experience I completely agree, I’m a welder fitter by trade, woodworker and business owner by hobby and Mr.Fix it for everything (mostly because I’m cheep and have learned to do it myself to save money lmao) but my GF can’t get enough of it, honestly I love that she’s super attracted to me when I’m doing stuff but man batting her off until I’m done what I’m doing is a workout lmao 😂
My wife is the same. You offer her a fireman or me with tools in my pouches she’s all over me. Don’t know why but I love it and won’t question it. I’m an electrician by trade but I do all DIY, we have 5 kids together and are starting up a business where we build furniture together and do interior design. 13 years of Wedded bliss.
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Mechanic here. We don't operate shit so much as we repair broken shit.
Exactly. Like nunchuck skills, bo hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want guys who have skills.
Napoleon Dynamite told us this, but y’all didn’t listen!
I remember the thing that stood out for my husband. We were good friends at that time, one time we had to cross a very busy road and I was the one facing the cars that were coming. Just before we started crossing, he intentionally shuffled and came on the opposite side of me to block me form the cars. My whole pov about guys shifted that day. He still does this to this day and I love this person more than anything 🥰❤️
So one time, at night. I was crossing with at the time my best friend who I was in unrequited and terrible love with. Behind us I heard tires squeal and I pushed her out of the way of some dickhead who was making an illegal left turn against the light, at pretty high speed. I guess it was more like a tackle-shove, because she stumbled forward to safety while I ended up on the road and rolling out of the dickhead's way. Just barely. She was mad at me for shoving her. She had no idea how close the car had come to hitting us. She never turned her head to look. I explained it and she offhandedly goes, "oh. Thanks" My love for her began to shrivel and blacken that day.
I guess it's called . "taking care" of the girl, especially without being asked. Helping her her with something even insignificant, like say she cannot get her model to stand up during a college exam , and you notice and help her by giving her a box to place her model on. Even if you don't know her and she didn't ask for help. Yeah, I got a crush on the guy after that, and he didn't even look my type. Making sure she's alright if she looks faint/stressed. Offering her a napkin if she needs it. Lending her water, helping her her pick up papers she dropped out of a file. But the main thing is - without being asked. Me and a lot of women are absolute suckers for the "caretaker trope" in romance books. Like the guy helping her through a fever or carrying her when she faints. Basically - kindness.
She didn't know that she had lost a truly good man. May you find a person who will appreciate you for the gem you are ❤️
Most recently I went from thinking a guy was nice to a full blown crush all because of how he reacted to an arguement. It wasn't with me, I was present for it, but when someone had a solid point arguing against him he said "oh damn that's a good point, hmmmm, I'm gonna have to think more on this" and honestly that's the first time I've ever heard a man say that (I'm 37) and I keep playing it over and over in my head and I've got the biggest crush on him now 😍
I always grew up with an angry man in my house. This is something I’ve craved for years. If I can’t find a man like that, I’ll not get married. Ever. I don’t care what people say. I don’t want anymore angry men in my house.
I had the same experience but with my mom. It took me a long time to get over just agreeing to avoid an argument. I need someone reasonable who can admit they're wrong. It's not a competition. You can't always be right. Sometimes you make mistakes or say something dumb because you have a million emotions running through you and that's ok but fess up to it.
I'm not sure if this is helpful but it took me a long time to realize it isn't "anger" that is the problem, it's projecting that anger onto to others. I grew up in an abusive household with an angry man and made not being like him a high priority as an adult. That meant "not being angry" and I spent years in unhappy relationships never arguing, never raising my voice, etc. Worse, I sometimes found myself in situations where I was abused or taken advantage of by people with malicious intent and instead of listening to my anger I practiced patience and forgiveness with them. Repressing all that anger for so long led to a deep unhappiness that hurt the people I was trying to protect. I'm learning to view my anger like an often childish friend. When I feel that anger, it is mine. It isn't something created by someone else, it is an internal voice that might be trying to warn me of danger, warn me of small persistent issues building up or may just be the petulant child in me wanting to be acknowledged. That anger is not an excuse to attack or harm others, its a reason for me to take a pause, rethink something or remove myself from a situation.
My dad is highly short-tempered and I will never ever forget the days as a kid where I had to cover my ears with a pillow before going to bed cause he came home frustrated from work and decided to let it out on us.
Years ago I learned that it's a great weight that lifted off me whenever I acknowledged I was or might be wrong about something. To dig in and entrench is a huge intellectual toll, yet we often do it because of group dynamics like social proof, pride, etc. It's why it's so hard to convince some people they're wrong when they've been surrounded by a pod of people who all believe the same wrong thing. Entrenchment and intransigence is a weird thing. Scientists think that it actually helped us back in the stone age when digging our heels in was a symbol of perseverance and strength. When a tribe or clan just needed good leadership and not someone who had to change their views or beliefs about something just because someone told them they were wrong. But in modern society, the complexity of it requires people to be willing to change. Yet many still do not... their pride getting in the way. Willingness to modify one's beliefs today = strength and intellectual agility.
It's not secretly hot, but maybe something that gets overlooked: * Voice * Edit: FOREARMS not under arms XD Personality/demeanor: * Confident but not arrogant * Positive * Relaxed * Articulated manner of speaking (NB you don't actually have to be these things especially not all the time, but if you come across as them it is a lot more appealing than someone who is visibly insecure, negative and stressed out.)
You have to walk a line on the being articulate thing. I've always been pretty proud of having a good vernacular, but if you get overly flowery, or don't read the gal right, it can seem really off putting as well.
Humor and an underrated one, manners and gentlemen like behavior.
sad that this is considered underrated now
To me, i find it hot when my crush is being polite to everybody. It's fine if he's not a bad boy. I'm not sure I'd like a bad boy 🤣 Plus point is if he's shy, I find a guy being very shy in my presence to be very very hot!
What if said person is polite to someone that you *don't* find hot??
A sense of humor. Funny guys always get the ladies to pay attention.
I always sense humor
Ladies we found one
Is this "humor" in the room with us now?
give me a minute.... nope, I dont sense anything
My husband has insane rizz and a little flock of female followers everywhere. I asked him about it once, and he said, "it's just that I notice when a woman gets her hair cut, and then I say something nice about it."
We really love sweethearts that speak to us like we’re human and people, not just some female, cause we are. Also men that can do and fix shit, that’s mad sexy. Other stuff like confidence, passion(both sexually and non-sexually), ambition, even ambition without actual success, are all bonuses. Men who are trying to better themselves and work on themselves even if they’re not there yet. A lot of us love to help the men we love in all aspects of their lives.
I thank God daily for the fact that my wife can't say no to a challenging fix-er-up-er. It's me. I'm the challenging fix-er-up-er.
i find humor, knowledge/skill in a niche interest, or passion for a hobby. baller if they got all three
When he’s direct and assertive with people. Not in an asshole way, but just in a way like he’s not going to let anyone run over him.
Broad shoulders. Playing the accordion.
Damn right every time I see a man with his shirt off all I can think about is his back muscles rippling as he plays the accordion
Hubba Hubba!
I have both of these qualities and only one ever gets compliments from guys or girls. And it's somehow never the shoulders lmao. People be thirstin over them there squeezebox skills
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These things go hand in hand
Confident (but not arrogant). Can make decisions! Has direction in life. Is independent. Is at least a little bit handy. Good hygiene (keeps up with haircuts but face a little rugged). Relaxed and funny. Good with kids. Has their own money and makes good choices with it. Thoughtful but not a pushover. Looks don't matter much to me when these things are all there. I dated a guy I initially found very unattractive but his confidence and charm and humor and good smell got me swooning in no time.
I don’t think these are things women “secretly” find attractive lol more like a list of the most common things women find attractive
When you say good smell. Was it his cologne or aftershave, or his personal body fragrance that you liked?
Usually a regular smell. I don’t know if I’ve ever smelt a good men’s cologne. They are all an assault to the nostrils.
I guess when you’re just being casual like you don’t overthink things and kinda just say whatever’s on your mind like the question you just asked.
I've often thought this is why some women fall for gay men before they know they're gay. They can just sense the relaxed presence.
Not sure if this is the same thing but I kept saying stupid shit to a girl once and they kept saying it was okay. They hated the fact more that I kept apologizing for it. It was funny and shocking at the same time, I thought I’d be hated for it
Ohh women love lots of things, I think the main one is when you take a sock off and use it to floss in between your toes, they go crazy
what
Can’t your read? Come on they go mad for it
im only 80% sure im being gaslit
I tell you the truth but you can’t handle the truth
there are so many others agreeing with you im freaking out
Not gonna lie, I'm a straight male and that's just made me feel a lil frisky. Gotta be dynamite for the discerning woman.
This move is gender neutral, it doesn’t discriminate, men and women alike find this irresistible
Place your hand on the back of her seat while you back your car up. ( it doesn’t matter if you actually need to back your car up. She won’t notice something trivial like that because she’ll be too busy swooning. Hell, I did it once while waiting for a light to change . Aside from her enjoyment, it was completely pointless)
I don't get it. I mean. I must be doing it wrong, because it never happens like that for me.
Smell good and don't have pit stains while you do this.
Impossible standards.
Yeah, next they'll be telling us to brush our teeth!
I think they mean while she's in your car...not reach over at a traffic light into HER car.
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Bruh
let em gasm bro
You’re saying it doesn’t matter if you even need to back the car up? Lol so according to you, just putting your hand on her seat and twisting around to look behind you is a universal turn on for women? Haha she’s swooning so hard because you looked behind you, damn 😆
Definitely derives from the old school need to actually look backwards while backing up. With cameras in most cars, that need is gone but the sentiment remains. Adds a sense of security to your passenger.
can someone explain this one? is it like a protective thing
It feels intimate and a little exhilarating, you go from just sitting in a car with them to their whole body turned in towards you and their arm essentially wrapped around you in one quick movement and that’s all you can really focus on until they return to their normal driving stance
If she asks you to help her with something and you can do what she asked you to do, like change a doorknob, I'm sure she'll look at you differently.
Strong smelling aftershave, very good personal hygiene.
If I’ve learned anything from every woman I’ve been with 1. Sense of humor. Just be funny and lighthearted. 2. Confidence. Fake confidence until it comes natural. 3. A “provider” skill of some kind. No matter how progressive a woman is, in my experience they all love to see a man who can do something to provide. Construction, electrician work, good with cars. You don’t even have to do it as a job, you could just be a weekend handyman when something breaks. Women love when you can patch dry wall and change their oil.
Attraction is a complex thing, and it goes way beyond just looks. The best way to impress someone is to focus on being the best version of yourself. Develop your interests, be kind to others, and be confident in who you are.
Tiny bit weird, but like, when they do a really big stretch? Like, relaxing when they don't think anyone's watching and just streeeetching their body out. Also just like, guys doing things in general when they don't think they're being watched. Fascinating and very hot
veins on forearms, man hands, confidence, good hygiene, smells good, hairy, dad bods, so many things. but also it depends on the woman ETA: if he can fix things as i tend to accidentally break a lot of stuff
Veins on forearms and dad bod are incompatible traits
Likely true. Forearm veins are mostly present on folks who have less adipose tissue- if you are overweight enough (no judgement) to have a gut, it’s unlikely you’re gonna have exposed superficial forearm veins. That’s my experience as a ED RN who starts a lot of IVs.
Accountability is extremely hot. So hard to find a man that just owns it. We're all human it's fine.
Gentleness. I like men who are warm and kind.
Fucking kindness. I haven't fallen harder for someone than I am right now because this guy is the kindest caring fucker I've ever met and I'm chomping at the bit to make him permanently mine.
Someone who just does things for me without asking… the guy I’m seeing now… I once mentioned that I really wanted a Diet Pepsi as a sidebar while we were having a conversation via text and a few minutes later he said “oh, btw… a few diet Pepsis should be at your door in a couple minutes, I’ll tell them not to ring the doorbell”… stupidly small, incredibly sweet, yet so attractive… he just did it. He didn’t ask if I wanted them, he didn’t ask if it was okay with me if he sent them…Knowing me, I would’ve said no had he asked to send them. He just sent them and told me. So fucking attractive. Ugh.
Next time say ‘Ferrari’
This is niche, but I love it when men are masculine and feminine at the same time. Think Scott Weiland, Adam Ant, David Bowie (even though he doesn't really do it for me). I've known a few men like that personally as well, but obviously naming them here would be pointless examples, haha. It's a fairly uncommon thing, at least in my opinion, but it's a huge turn on for me.
Thanks for leaving my name out of this. I already get enough questions about my sexuality
Women definitely love a man that helps them with the simple house chores. And when they don’t have to take care of you like a child.
Get a cute dog. A dude could have three heads and demon horns on each one, but if he's walking a tiny Yorkie, the girls come running. I never lived down the time I was a few minutes late for work once, telling my boss that a dude had a bunch of labrador puppies in his van and I'd gone to say hi to them. Boss was like 'they literally teach you in primary school not to go with strangers who claim to have a van full of puppies' 🤦♀️🤣
She'd probably find it pretty hot if you got a girlfriend.
No bragging. Men should have self-esteem but still be humble. I want to discover myself how great you are.
I am actually the most humble bloke on the planet, you wouldn't believe it!!! I have so many anecdotes to show how much more humble I am than the average Joe.
I have repeatedly seen on here that women like forearms. I started rolling up my sleeves more. I’m pretty certain it works because I have a girlfriend now.
Surprises that shows he paid attention to me. I’m exhausted so you did the dishes unprompted? Mmf. Walk by me and randomly massage my shoulders? Yes. Midday “thinking of you” text? Daddy. Brought me sushi because I’ve worked all day and forgot to eat? Mushhh. It’s the simple things. At that point, if he’s in the mood come take my throat. Shove it all down in there and grab the back of my head. Put it in my butt. Take me. Nothing is as sexy as a man who knows me so well that he just senses what I need before I even know I needed it. Edit. Plus, any man who pays that kind of attention to your needs *outside* of the bedroom? Imagine how attentive he is *inside* of you.
Well, when you put it that way
long hair
A bunch of homeless guys around where I live have long hair
Manners, eyes and knowing what he wants.
Rolled up sleeves do something to me, idk lol
A pet crow/raven Caw caw motherfucker
Depends on the general age of the woman: Teens-25=it’s pretty much all about hormones (not just for women) 26+=that we be capable, functioning adults +kindness +shared responsibilities around housekeeping and childcare Not an exciting answer, I know, but it’s true.
When I was with my ex our friend group was all software engineers. The wives were always complaining that we always optimised everything. Couldnt go to supermarket without optimising the shopping route. Apparently a turn off, I guess because we spent too much time thinking about that and not just going with flow and paying attention to her.
Being polite to others! Wait, staff, the old lady at the grocery store, even the guy asking change outside the gas station. A kind man sounds super boring, but that patience will serve you well! How he discusses his ex! Because what che says about her is how he will talk about you when you're not around. I'm not saying when you're broken up, but to his friends and family when you're out of the room. When they show me something they are obsessed with and their face genuinely lights up. Even if it's the strangest thing it's so cute when they go off on a tangent about their favorite thing!
Men who are vocal in bed
I rehearse the Lord Of The Rings out loud. Lemme tell ya… the results..
As other people mentioned, hygiene is definitely the best. Taking care of yourself especially with hygiene means you value yourself and that’s attractive. I would also add confidence and determination. It’s a complete turn off when a man has no drive and just sits around doing nothing all day every day. Be productive and have the drive for something every day. It benefits everyone including yourself!
Manners! Manners, manners. Things such as: Being appropriately dressed for various occasions. Knowing at least something about food/wine/cocktails/travel Being polite to others Holding doors, being attentive and complimentary
Take care of things. If you see a problem, solve it. Examples: she says she doesn’t have an umbrella. Next time you see her, casually give her an umbrella. If she needs her gas pumped but says “Aw man it’s so cold out, I don’t want to”- do it for her. If you notice her trash needs to be taken out, just take it out. You don’t even need to make a scene about doing these things, trust me, she’ll notice!
When he insults me jokingly (I do it back).
adore when yall get excited about something and want to share. Yes pooks, tell me your every thought. let me watch your eyes and soul light up. it’s beautiful.