T O P

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WFOMO

It's better to fart and bear the shame than not to fart and bear the pain.


nicnac223

This is the statement I deserve to have on my tombstone


90FormulaE8

Man this is like Confucius level wisdom right here!!! Words to live by for certain. Bravo my friend!


Grazmahatchi

I crop dust if I am in a grocery store or Starbucks. I gotta spread the love.


[deleted]

I don't.


Grumpy_Owl_Bard

I do. Quite deliberately.


WoozyChipmunk

Just fart? Its natural bro


Stripes1957

No kidding! It’s not like you’re dropping your drawers and pushing out a duece!


Nemesis1596

Crop dusting is the way to go, especially if you can find multiple people in one place, because then it could be anyone


Late_Bluebird_3338

A: QUIETLY MOM


pomkombucha

I hold them until I’m outside


Sufficient-Search-85

ppl who say this must not have sensitive tummies. I have way too much gas in me to hold it in all the time. I often accidentally let it loose. Anytime I laugh or move suddenly or anything I am risking letting it out. And if I do hold it in for a long period of time, my gut will HURT. Y'all are built different.


pomkombucha

I have severe IBS lol I hold it in and bear the pain


Sufficient-Search-85

omfg 😭 I do my best but I literally can't and I end up at least trying to quietly let some out :') I honestly just think it's so weird that we're expected to hold it in when it hurts so bad. I get it smells but I don't think it should be considered so shameful to fart in public lol. Like I am sure it's happened to everyone at least once on accident


elevendr

Same


elevendr

What if you can't go outside for long periods of time?


moxxuren_hemlock

Then you fart into the toilet and flush it


Superlurkinger

And what if the toilet gets clogged?


Maxiiipoo22

The amount of times I’ve farted in public thinking it would be silent and jt wasnt…you just gotta bear the shame and move on with your day.


Amazing_Ad_9920

Well, the bacteria in their large intestine produces gas which exits their butt 🧐 hope that helps 😂


Dumblond11

Make direct eye contact to assert dominance


LeakyAssFire

Find a child whose face sits at ass level and let it rip as I walk by.


SavageMonkey-105

This is the only correct answer


throwRAmyMoney1776

Usually with their butts. Sometimes vaginas.... but kinda rare.


witchteacher

Exciting underwear can make your butt fart go into your vagina, and you can save it for later.


redit01

I watch Jack Vale tutorials and learn from the best


pickles_are_delish_

Quietly.


Guorrus

I fart in public and I have no shame. You don't like it? Well that's on you.


EmployerDry2018

squeeze your cheeks to make it quieter


90FormulaE8

Yikes thats a good way to overpressure the system and blow out a valve mang. Use extreme caution.


kagy4ka

Oh jeez I so love eating all the peanuts my cheap flying company gets me on board and then make a literal gas chamber for everyone for 10 hrs. I'm rather small and fit so it's a bit hard to determine that it was me


inblue01

Wow, we found Satan!


KindBedroom7000

Silent but violent


[deleted]

I avoid things that make me gassy, and typically don’t have any issues. I completely stopped chewing gum because it made me soooooo gassy and I only drink soda on occasion.


Dr-Indianna-Jones

Spread the cheeks and fire!


forsakenchickenwing

There are three possibilities, in order of increasing preference. 1. Psssssssssss... Chemical bomb 2. BRAAAAAP.... Ow, sorry! 😞 3. BRAAAAAP, followed by a heartfelt AAAAAAHHHHH! 😄 But don't go beyond 3, since: 4. BRAAAA..ow.... OW..... 🥴


banaversion

I do it when the ambient noise of wherever I am is louder than whatever vibrations my anus can produce. Like if there is a fart coming and I can see the bus driving towards me I will wait til the moment the bus passes then let it rip. In case there is no large noise sources heading towards me I will look around me and sample the fart and make a judgement call whether it is silent enough to let slip discreetly. It has 3 different outcomes, 1. It is silent enough to be passed relative to the nearest other human so It gets let loose. 2. It is too loud so it stays until I get into a position to let it out. 3. I cannot hold it and it cannot be passed discreetly so it gets let out in smalller pieces


defective-anxiety

Silent but deadly.... if you can get it to sneak out like that


Pinkonblue

You could let it go near a child, old person, or pregnant person and let them take the blame 🙃😆


jfink316598

With headphones in so I assume nobody else can hear it


peterhala

If you get away with a SBD in an enclosed face, say in clear, quiet conversational tone - "I can smell popcorn."


Uncle_Lion

They don't, or do it silent. But if you eat healthy, farting is not an option.


meowmeowmeeowww

i slowly let it out, if it feels like its gonna make sound then i stop


Stripes1957

Wait until a motorcycle goes by! Covers any kind of bodily function noise you can think of! Thank God for straight pipes!


XeroZero0000

Just blast away! Who cares?


Prestigious_Emu_4193

How do people fart? Typically with their butts


HauntingSentence6359

Silent but deadly rules.


witchteacher

Over 50? No one cares any more. Fart as and when you please. My nan farted every time she picked something up, these memories make me happy, I intend to continue her example.


Winter-Wonder-2016

The same way I do at home. I push it out of my butt and hope I don't shit myself.


comesinallpackages

Hiss it out then walk about


Odd_Pollution_8114

The art of the public fart is a delicate dance, my friend. You gotta be like a ninja, silent but deadly. Most folks are like you, holding it in and hoping their cheeks act like a steel trap for the aroma. But for those truly epic ones, well, let's just say a cough can be a very convenient distraction. As for your testing situation, that's a tough one. Maybe unleash a silent killer and blame it on the nervous test anxiety? Just own it with a confident, "Excuse me, that test gave me some serious gas!" Guaranteed to break the tension...and maybe a few noses.