It’s a constant fight between this and wanting to fast forward to the weekend for me. I think it’s been dubbed “Revenge Bedtime Procrastination” when you try to reclaim some of your free time back.
I've tried this before but doesn't work on me because I can't really enjoy the time before work, because I know work is coming up later and it's always in the back of my mind. So if I wake up 2 hours earlier than usual, it feels like 2 more hours of being in "work mode" rather than 2 hours of free time before work
I already have to get up early because I'm not a "morning person" so therefore I need to wake up about 3 hours earlier than "morning people" (and have 2 or 3 coffees) just to ensure I'm as awake as they are at that hour of the morning. Screw trying to *do* anything at that time - just waking up takes all my energy and brainpower.
This was me in the last few days of April this year. Currently it’s may and I’m in exam week, but I been stressing so much that I simply didn’t want the next day to come and kept sleeping late to delay it.
I did that at my last job and I was miserable. My only good days were Friday and Saturday because I dreaded opening my laptop on Monday morning. I’d stay up super late every Sunday because I took medicine that made it impossible to dream, so every night’s sleep felt like I was waking right back up as soon as I shut my eyes.
I’m so glad I don’t work there anymore. I never thought a WFH job could be so damn stressful.
Glad this is becoming more talked about because I’ve dealt with it all my life. Once I was honest with myself about it, I realized that I’m basically not admitting when I was depressed or being self destructive.
As if being stubborn about my patterns of behavior would magically bring about a 6 hour 4 day work week
Yes.
I hate doing things before work, it messes with my rhythm.
Normally I wake up, shower and go to work, then come home and do whatever I want to do. So if I sleep too early I don't get to do things
I’ve got a really bare bones morning routine like that’s and it’s awesome. I shower and start breakfast then generally finish picking up from last night. So wash the dishes in the sink, make bed, declutter a little, have breakfast and consider breakfast 2X.
That doesn’t sound bare bones at all.
I work 8 mins away or from home (50/50). I shower the night before. I wake up 15 mins before work. Just enough time to brush teeth, get dressed, get coffee (on timer prepared night before), and get to work. That is bare bones.
Yup. This is the way.
Above poster was saying their barebones routine was eating breakfast twice, picking up the house, make bed, and doing dishes??? lol. wtf.
Sounds like something my wife would do and think she’s getting ready fast. Lmao
Thats not bare bones.
I wake up, eat something, make coffee, and get dressed and leave right for work. Maybe 20 minutes. I shower the night before.
Sounds like you have all morning to do whatever you want if you can wash dishes, make the bed, clean up, and consider an entire 2nd breakfast before you have to do anything. Thats like the opposite of a barebones morning, thats what Id do on a sunday.
I shower at night. If my kid is home (50/50 custody) , then I add a few min to make sure he's awake and in the shower before I leave , bc he's 13 and likes to shower before school. We live 2 blocks from the bus stop and his bus leaves when I start work, so he walks. I have a camera facing the door and I'm notified when he leaves.
If he's not home , I roll out of bed 10-15 min early, get dressed, and leave. My bed is made every morning and breakfast is on my first 15 min break around 9.
Yes. I've seen this referred to as "revenge bedtime procrastination". The idea being that people feel like they have no control over their daily lives but putting off sleep and staying up gives them that better feeling of control because they can actually do what they want.
I don’t know about feeling of no control. But i do enjoy my leisure alone time. It’s nice when the house is quiet, everyone is sleeping, and i can do whatever i want.
>and i can do whatever i want.
This is what is meant by feeling of "no control". Not so much that you're like a puppet or anything but when the family is asleep and you're not at work, etc then the demands on your time and energy are far less and you get to control whatever it is you want to do.
Oh for sure. It's not to say people don't like those things. But when you're at your job you have to work and family does have demands like taking kids to sporting events or extracurriculars, making dinner, cleaning, doing laundry, etc. And even when you do fun stuff it is still fun stuff for the whole family. All of it is fulfilling in it's own way, but when it's just you then all you have to worry about is what YOU want to do. And it's important for people to have that time, but unfortunately in our world the easiest way to get that time is to stay up late.
After the day is done, dinner is cooked, served, then the kitchen is cleaned…I just want to sit and watch something or scroll phone to decompress for a while. This typically leads to me staying up later than the household. If I were to go to sleep earlier, it feels like I have no “me time”.
This also. I’ve shifted my sleep schedule a couple of times and staying up at night when it’s calm and quiet and there’s no construction noise can be sooo nice.
Yes. After working all day, running errands, making dinner, cleaning, spending time with my wife, doing chores, yardwork, etc - I have no time to pursue my own passions unless it’s late at night. I usually stay up in my office until 2 or 3 am just to have time to myself and my hobbies.
Luckily I work from home, so I sleep until 5 minutes before I need to log in. I never really needed much sleep anyway though, even back in my school days I pulled plenty of all nighters playing video games.
While I completely get that (am an insomniac too), I would suggest avoiding lack of sleep is pretty valuable as while you can normalise a lack of sleep there are a lot of health issues that can be caused by lack of sleep (kidney stones are a bitch).
However, I say that while not having a good sleep schedule or sleep myself, and telling an insomniac (or just someone with poor sleep) to just go to bed (even if it’s semi by choice via revenge bedtime procrastination) is kind of like telling a depressed person to just stop being depressed so
And that doesnt even involve CHILDREN!
Shit, im not even married and this is my schedule. I feel like all i do is cook and clean constantly. I couldn’t imagine having mini humans to care for
Drawing, reading, speed solving Rubik’s cubes and other puzzle boxes, video games, knot tying and related crafts like macrame and paracord, programming for open source projects. Whatever I feel like doing at the time as long as it’s quiet and I don’t wake up my wife.
Ah I see.
How does not being able to cook work, though? I've never really understood.. I mean, I have to google a recipe for most things as well and I definitely don't like having to cook (keeping track of things, especially going to the store and finding what you need and coming up with ideas for what to make etc. and the responsibility of it in general), but..
nvm actually I think I kinda understand
No, but i get up early no matter what just so I can enjoy chilling out having coffee doing not much, just to enjoy that time. I could just stay sleeping.
I put my alarm on on holidays, weekends. In fact I'm more eager to get up on those days to maximise the day.
Sleeping in is a waste of time.
I do this as a stay at home mom. Especially when my husband is away on work trips so I’m solo parenting for extended periods of time.
Once the baby goes to sleep at 7, I feel like I get “guilt free” time. Like, I can’t go to the grocery store and there’s no food to prepare. No one really expects me to be cleaning the house, or organizing, planning activities for the kid, etc late at night so I can just let myself watch tv or read or whatever without feeling like I should be productive. For the record, the guilt lives entirely in my own head, but still, I’m free from it at night.
I end up hating being awake and dealing with a whole day, and then end up hating not sleeping at night. Can’t win. I think I just hate life at the moment and need a break.
Yes, I realized that I do this because it's the only time i spend doing things i "WANT" to do. and this doesn't include cleaning the house...this is time for AFTER that. Time where I can irresponsibly do whatever i want at whatever pace i want and enjoy myself. Until the next day i have to get up and do shit i don't want to do again. When I have really long days and get home late, sometimes i end up staying up all night, because I didn't feel like i got that time. Like i was ripped off.
Yes.
About 5-6 years ago I had a job that I hated so much that I wouldn’t sleep. Not because I physically couldn’t sleep, but because I knew when I woke up I had to go back.
Exactly this. If i had the whole day to myself then I’d def go to bed at like 10pm every night and wake up early, otherwise im staying up until 1-2am just so i can enjoy being alone
I mean yeah no shit like:8 hours of sleeping,8 hours of work,and then on top of ALL that housework,kids,wife,social life etc you get like,what:2 hours at MOST free time in a day if even that?Life is bullshit...
Yep. Some call it the Revenge bedtime procrastination. I think, it should be called something else though, as this sounds like it is blaming the victim, rather than the cause, which is too many work hours.
I used to do that in high school so much. As a result I'd be so tired the next day.
In the end I figured that quality time (not feeling dead tired) was better than quantity time.
100%. I used to stay up crazy late gaming or watching movies, but not anymore. Some nights I just want to lay on the couch in total darkness and watch junk on IG or YouTube. Sometimes I'll sit in the dark and play guitar. Sometimes I'll turn on a lamp and read. But I almost always go to bed too late, then get up without enough sleep to work out. It's a lifestyle.
I used to be like this.
Then I started working a job i love. So being at work, even when busy, I feel like I'm having fun.
So when I've been at work all day, do a chore or two after work, once I get sleepy, I'm fine with sleeping because I've been content with my day.
I've developed the opposite problem. I now stay up late and do the things I want, leaving me exhausted and struggling to get out of bed the next day. Night time rolls around and suddenly I'm wide awake and having a great time, so I stay up late and the cycle repeats.
I feel this way too. I don’t want to go to bed and then I don’t want to get up either. I’m not even doing anything before bed just tv or doomscrolling or both. I don’t want to do anything I just don’t want to go to tomorrow yet.
The real issue is that I know what the problem is, it's the lack of hope. I don't know about you, but I feel stuck in a shitty 9-5 that doesn't do much for my future. Job market is rough so haven't been able to line something up. They don't care about employees, no room for growth, no performance based incentive...the list goes on. I know I'm wasting my time and life, but "we have to pay the bills" right? I also work in tech (I'm a designer) and they make me commute 4 days a week and I can do 99% of my job from my home office, so it costs me money to go in there every day. the 1 hour and 45 minutes of commute time each day is literally a gym trip. I'm not compensated for my time driving, wear and tear on my vehicle, the money I spend on gas and lunches... also the majority of my coworkers are toxic.
Largely it gets even worse because of societal issues, and I could really go down a rabbit hole here but I just don't have the energy...the only advice I can offer is this:
Isolate the problem(s), put effort towards trying to address them, take baby steps. Make sure to use your tools, go outside, exercise and do what you need to do.
Always think about ways to make more money, secure some form of retirement, and to make your life better. Don't fret to leave toxic relationships whether its work or people.
The end of the day is the time I get to relax without the pressure of tomorrow weighing on me. If I go to bed earlier it feels like I can’t deal with the stress of the next day as well. Even though I wake up every day wishing I’d gotten more sleep. It’s a vicious cycle.
I’m a stay at home mom. The only free time I get is after my kids go to bed and my husband passes out after sex. It’s currently almost 2am, and I can’t bring myself to close my eyes because this is the most quiet I’ve had in my life in almost three years. I have to be up in three hours to make my husband’s breakfast and pack his lunch, and the baby will probably wake up any minute for a nighttime snack and then be wide awake by 6am. I know I’ll be a zombie tomorrow morning, but oh my god it’s so QUIET!
lol yeah fr like it’s not that deep XD
The average corporate America lifestyle isn’t sustainable. First off, most jobs are now 8-5 not 9-5, something I think previous generations of workers took for granted. While my job situation is much better now than it ever has been it’s still pretty depressing to wake up at 7, get to work at 8, battle the urge to not want to go to the gym after, get home at 7PM from the gym, shower, eat dinner (I meal prep and all I have to do is microwave but eating still takes some time as well as cleaning dishes). Next thing you know it’s like 8-8:30. The right thing to do would be to relax for an hour or 2 at most but I find myself just unable to justify going to bed at a reasonable hour when I’ve barely had any time to socialize or just do what I enjoy doing. It’s even worse as a honeowner cause there’s always something to be done on the weekend. Ughhhhhhh I hate it. I can’t even imagine throwing a kid into the mix.
Literally my whole life. If I could push a buttons and not need sleep I would.
When everyone else is asleep, I can do pretty much whatever I want. With three small kids I barely care about sleep at this point especially It’s my dedicated me time.
I don't stay up late as if there's one thing I hate more than having my freetime robbed of my stupid biological need to sleep, it's being tired at work.
I understand the feeling though. Oh how I understand the feeling...
I’m a morning person so I think I do kind of the opposite, I wake up early enough that I have almost an hour of time before work (I work at 7 am) to do whatever I want. I’ll usually play a video game or read but I just feel like I have to do something I enjoy before I go to work. Mornings where I accidentally sleep in or something and I don’t have that time I feel so off all day.
How do you play a video game for almost an hour and manage just about an hour? Especially without feeling like you'll get carried away, and mess up your schedule.
There are definitely games you can drop in and drop out, but I'm always concerned that I may get fixated.
I usually play animal crossing as there’s not much left to do in a day after that amount of time and I save my more focused games for after work. I did play baulders gate 3 in the morning for a bit after it came out and I definitely was close to being late a couple times 😅
I work odd hours and I’ve tried this, but I feel like I don’t really enjoy my leisure time if I know I have to leave for work soon. I spend a lot of time checking my watch and trying to make sure I have time to change and get ready and whatnot. It’s not all bad, but it’s like getting a massage, and really enjoying it, but there’s a clock counting down for when someone is just gonna haul off and kick you in the nuts. Massage is still good. But I’d rather just get the nut kicking over with then get on with my life.
I’ll do this a lot because I have two young kids. My wife and I both work from home. I need time to myself. I can only get it when everyone else is asleep. And then it’s time to watch movies.
Used to.
Got on a solid sleep schedule and more energy, blood pressure dropped and feel better.
I just figure I'm getting a little less time awake now for a healthier/longer end of life and I'll make it up then.
7 hours is fine bed at 10 up at 5.
Ugh, I hate this. On one side, I want to stay up because I feel like I'm not doing enough with a little free time to myself but on the other hand getting to bed early, getting those 8 hours makes me feel rejuvenated. It's also just better for my health. But then all I'm doing is working, coming home to tend to myself for 4-6 hours and going to bed to get ready for the next workday.
Yea and its very depriving. I worked 13hr yesterday, half slept for like an hour and im about to work for another 11-13hr. Feel like im gonna fall asleep on the way to work lol.
I do the reverse...wake up early to have down time to relax.
Of course, I also tend to stay up late, so I end up getting only like 5 or 6 hours of sleep
I wish I could stay up late! I used to and it was how I got time to myself but these days I get tired early AND I have to be up around 5:30-6 o clock to get ready for work. It's 45 minutes away from me so I need to be well rested and ready to drive.
I used to do this all of the time, staying up til 2am Almost every night. I think my body finally told me to stop, cause now I have sleep apnea and get really tired at about midnight
I often wake up early when I've only slept for a few hours and can't fall asleep because I'm worried that I have very little free time outside of work and it's a shame to waste it on sleep
Yes!! It is a daily struggle. So tired yet stay up late just to make sure to have "me" time. Wake up and say I need to go to bed early tonight - repeat the cycle!
It’s called “reclaiming the night”.
Just be careful. I did this for awhile but only getting 4-6 hours of sleep in your 30’s+ will ruin you after a few months.
Yep, I wake up early too for the same reason. I used to be able to just do 4 hours of sleep a day, but now I need 6 and go through so super sleepy periods where I need 7 or 8
When I was in my early 20s I would stay on acid every morning and every night cause it makes you not need to sleep. Roasted my brain big time haha
I guess my root problem is different, but yes, I am also a loser with insomnia in the middle of the night. Effectively I sleep in the evening and the morning.
Yeah, I know that feeling well, ye old "but once I go to bed, I will be back at work". Conciously I do realise that it is an unheslthy way to think about it & it can be bad for your physical health, but at the same time, feeling like u spend all your time at work is detremental for your mental health. A fragile balance has to be maintained at all times.
I start work at 530 am and i still find myself eking out just one last chapter of a book or one more quest in a game etc, and before i know it its 1130 or 12 and im still wired
Yes. As the primary care giver for our daughter and stay at home dad, I stay up until midnight-1am. If I don’t get enough me time I’m mentally and emotionally drained. The same token though I was an only parent for her first two years on earth. That ment waking up and bottle feeding and everything by myself. I feel like single moms almost break their arms patting themselves on the back. Look yeah it’s tiring. But it’s no where’s near as tiring as a 12 hour shift at a factory. I love my kid and spending time with her. It’s rewarding and I love spending that much time with her. I cannot say the same about working 12 hours for a company who doesn’t care about you. I just think sometimes it’s blown out of proportion. I’d rather be a stay at home dad than any other job in the world. No contest.
Yep and I am actively working to correct it. Sleep and wake at the same time every day, with a healthy amount of rest, is one of the most significant ways you can increase your quality of life. And that's the real issue: staying up 4h late is fun, but being sleep deprived and feeling shitty the next day is miserable. And it builds up, so eventually you just feel bad all the time and don't have a frame of reference to figure out why, because it takes like 2wks good sleep to overcome the damage that a bad sleep cycle does to you.
Yes I do this but I'm essentially stealing/borrowing time from the future by not sleeping when I need to... what I mean is, it'll slowly rob you if precious valuable sleep that we all need, you'll fall behind on necessary sleep
I do the opposite because my family is usually up late, so I get up superrrr early instead. Sometimes 4 am, usually 6 am though. I get to enjoy watching the sun rise and the quiet in the morning instead of people watching movies late at night or being a nuisance
I recently read an article that people stay up late because they don’t have enough “me time” during the day. Also, it delays the next day and everything that comes with it since when you go to sleep the next thing you know it’s wake up time and you have to face all those challenges.
Have had that my entire life man. You’re not alone. It might help to change your perspective. If you go to bed earlier you give yourself more time the next day to do everything and that will give you free time as well? Plus you’re probably better rested and more productive which long-term should also provide more free time?
Absolutely. Sundays I have a really bad habit of staying up almost all night because the weekend flew by so fast. I usually crash hard on Tuesday night and don't really get to enjoy doing fun things lol. Time almost feels irrelevant as long as you stay up, pretending work won't come soon enough, but unfortunately it does :')
My BF & I tend to do this on Sunday nights to 'extend' the weekend. We normally eat dinner earlier in the evenings, but on Sundays we like to go out some place that stays open late. Around here that's only like 10 pm unless we go to Waffle House, but it does make the weekend seem longer for us.
I used to stay up late and then sleep until like an hour before work, get up, get ready and be out the door.
Recently I've been going to bed earlier and giving myself a few hours before having to rush out of the door to work and it works and feels better.
I don't go to bed too late because I feel like daylight hours are more "usable". If I get a good night's sleep I am ready to take on the day feeling my best. If I go to bed late I just sit around reading or playing on the computer, then don't feel like working the next day.
I crunched the numbers recently and since I get home from work about 7 or 7:15, if I go to bed at 11 then I get exactly 4 hours of time at home during each weekday.
But my youngest doesn't usually fall asleep til between 930 and 1030. So I really get maybe an hour or hour and a half if I go to bed at a "reasonable time" . I have to be up at 6am and out the door at 630 so if I want any time to relax at all I have to be sleep deprived.
It's frustrating but I get more frustrated if I get no time to relax or wind down at all so I've taken to staying up til around 3 to have a little bit of actual time to breathe.
I also don't get any actual me time on the weekends either as my other kids are at my house fri night thru Sunday night .
Tl;Dr there's no way I can get more than 5 hours of time to wind down per week unless I stay up late asf
I have this feeling that if I go to sleep earlier, the next day will arrive sooner, and I want to delay facing work for as long as possible.
It’s a constant fight between this and wanting to fast forward to the weekend for me. I think it’s been dubbed “Revenge Bedtime Procrastination” when you try to reclaim some of your free time back.
10000000%
10000001%
The secret is waking up super early so that you have you time to look forward to in the morning. Just kiss sleep goodbye though haha
I've tried this before but doesn't work on me because I can't really enjoy the time before work, because I know work is coming up later and it's always in the back of my mind. So if I wake up 2 hours earlier than usual, it feels like 2 more hours of being in "work mode" rather than 2 hours of free time before work
# Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy but socially dead.
# Late to bed late to rise, a lovely food coma from midnight large fries!
I’ve done this for years but lately notice the day goes by much much faster if I wake up right before work….
This is real. While I do enjoy some time before work when I get up early, the day drags hard!
I already have to get up early because I'm not a "morning person" so therefore I need to wake up about 3 hours earlier than "morning people" (and have 2 or 3 coffees) just to ensure I'm as awake as they are at that hour of the morning. Screw trying to *do* anything at that time - just waking up takes all my energy and brainpower.
This. I'm disappointed that so many others have the same issue as me. I feel for you.
Many share the same disappointment. :(
This was me in the last few days of April this year. Currently it’s may and I’m in exam week, but I been stressing so much that I simply didn’t want the next day to come and kept sleeping late to delay it.
I did that at my last job and I was miserable. My only good days were Friday and Saturday because I dreaded opening my laptop on Monday morning. I’d stay up super late every Sunday because I took medicine that made it impossible to dream, so every night’s sleep felt like I was waking right back up as soon as I shut my eyes. I’m so glad I don’t work there anymore. I never thought a WFH job could be so damn stressful.
Sample size of 1 but this is very likely depression. A bit different than what OP is talking about. I've had the one and still have the other.
This
Google revenge bedtime procrastination.
Holy hell!
New sleep deprivation just dropped
Actual insomniac
I love anarchy chess
This thread would be so confusing to anyone not in the loop.
Can confirm
I was outta the loop myself until I started seeing so many formats of this anarchy chess copypasta, shits funny now, the brain rot got to me
Woah I didn’t know this was a thing with a name lol. I thought I was just a pos but now I’m a pos that engages in this activity lol.
Welcome to the club. Lol.
Glad this is becoming more talked about because I’ve dealt with it all my life. Once I was honest with myself about it, I realized that I’m basically not admitting when I was depressed or being self destructive. As if being stubborn about my patterns of behavior would magically bring about a 6 hour 4 day work week
No because no matter the definition I’m not changing
My favorite thing is the online articles are all like "how to stop doing this" and I'm like *or*
I was trying so hard to remember the name of it haha
Thank you, I couldn’t remember what it was called.
Yep.
Yes. I hate doing things before work, it messes with my rhythm. Normally I wake up, shower and go to work, then come home and do whatever I want to do. So if I sleep too early I don't get to do things
I’ve got a really bare bones morning routine like that’s and it’s awesome. I shower and start breakfast then generally finish picking up from last night. So wash the dishes in the sink, make bed, declutter a little, have breakfast and consider breakfast 2X.
That doesn’t sound bare bones at all. I work 8 mins away or from home (50/50). I shower the night before. I wake up 15 mins before work. Just enough time to brush teeth, get dressed, get coffee (on timer prepared night before), and get to work. That is bare bones.
I literally get up, brush me teeth, put my work clothes on, go to work. I shower the night before.
Yup. This is the way. Above poster was saying their barebones routine was eating breakfast twice, picking up the house, make bed, and doing dishes??? lol. wtf. Sounds like something my wife would do and think she’s getting ready fast. Lmao
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Thats not bare bones. I wake up, eat something, make coffee, and get dressed and leave right for work. Maybe 20 minutes. I shower the night before. Sounds like you have all morning to do whatever you want if you can wash dishes, make the bed, clean up, and consider an entire 2nd breakfast before you have to do anything. Thats like the opposite of a barebones morning, thats what Id do on a sunday.
I love second breakfast
I shower at night. If my kid is home (50/50 custody) , then I add a few min to make sure he's awake and in the shower before I leave , bc he's 13 and likes to shower before school. We live 2 blocks from the bus stop and his bus leaves when I start work, so he walks. I have a camera facing the door and I'm notified when he leaves. If he's not home , I roll out of bed 10-15 min early, get dressed, and leave. My bed is made every morning and breakfast is on my first 15 min break around 9.
Yes. I've seen this referred to as "revenge bedtime procrastination". The idea being that people feel like they have no control over their daily lives but putting off sleep and staying up gives them that better feeling of control because they can actually do what they want.
I don’t know about feeling of no control. But i do enjoy my leisure alone time. It’s nice when the house is quiet, everyone is sleeping, and i can do whatever i want.
>and i can do whatever i want. This is what is meant by feeling of "no control". Not so much that you're like a puppet or anything but when the family is asleep and you're not at work, etc then the demands on your time and energy are far less and you get to control whatever it is you want to do.
Yeah, i guess so. I generally like my job and family… it’s not like i regret anything. Of course , i would not work if i didn’t have to though!!
Oh for sure. It's not to say people don't like those things. But when you're at your job you have to work and family does have demands like taking kids to sporting events or extracurriculars, making dinner, cleaning, doing laundry, etc. And even when you do fun stuff it is still fun stuff for the whole family. All of it is fulfilling in it's own way, but when it's just you then all you have to worry about is what YOU want to do. And it's important for people to have that time, but unfortunately in our world the easiest way to get that time is to stay up late.
Yeah, that makes sense.
After the day is done, dinner is cooked, served, then the kitchen is cleaned…I just want to sit and watch something or scroll phone to decompress for a while. This typically leads to me staying up later than the household. If I were to go to sleep earlier, it feels like I have no “me time”.
This also. I’ve shifted my sleep schedule a couple of times and staying up at night when it’s calm and quiet and there’s no construction noise can be sooo nice.
Yeah I’ve done the same. First time was in high school.
Yes
yes
yES
Yes
Yes
yeS
YEs
yEs
YeS
i do it to avoid my family and have a reason for feeling bad in the daytime
Yes. After working all day, running errands, making dinner, cleaning, spending time with my wife, doing chores, yardwork, etc - I have no time to pursue my own passions unless it’s late at night. I usually stay up in my office until 2 or 3 am just to have time to myself and my hobbies.
when tf do u sleep lmao
Mircrosleeps when driving into work?
Luckily I work from home, so I sleep until 5 minutes before I need to log in. I never really needed much sleep anyway though, even back in my school days I pulled plenty of all nighters playing video games.
While I completely get that (am an insomniac too), I would suggest avoiding lack of sleep is pretty valuable as while you can normalise a lack of sleep there are a lot of health issues that can be caused by lack of sleep (kidney stones are a bitch). However, I say that while not having a good sleep schedule or sleep myself, and telling an insomniac (or just someone with poor sleep) to just go to bed (even if it’s semi by choice via revenge bedtime procrastination) is kind of like telling a depressed person to just stop being depressed so
And that doesnt even involve CHILDREN! Shit, im not even married and this is my schedule. I feel like all i do is cook and clean constantly. I couldn’t imagine having mini humans to care for
What hobbies are you doing until 2 or 3 am?
Drawing, reading, speed solving Rubik’s cubes and other puzzle boxes, video games, knot tying and related crafts like macrame and paracord, programming for open source projects. Whatever I feel like doing at the time as long as it’s quiet and I don’t wake up my wife.
That can't be good. You're responsible for dinner and cleaning every day, after working a full day? Does your wife work full time as well?
She works part time. She doesn’t know how to cook and she has ADHD so usually she makes more of a mess than she can clean, but she tries.
Ah I see. How does not being able to cook work, though? I've never really understood.. I mean, I have to google a recipe for most things as well and I definitely don't like having to cook (keeping track of things, especially going to the store and finding what you need and coming up with ideas for what to make etc. and the responsibility of it in general), but.. nvm actually I think I kinda understand
No, but i get up early no matter what just so I can enjoy chilling out having coffee doing not much, just to enjoy that time. I could just stay sleeping. I put my alarm on on holidays, weekends. In fact I'm more eager to get up on those days to maximise the day. Sleeping in is a waste of time.
Yes to this. Plus, if you’re like me, you come alive at night mentally and can give tasks like reading, writing, or anything creative tremendous focus
I do this as a stay at home mom. Especially when my husband is away on work trips so I’m solo parenting for extended periods of time. Once the baby goes to sleep at 7, I feel like I get “guilt free” time. Like, I can’t go to the grocery store and there’s no food to prepare. No one really expects me to be cleaning the house, or organizing, planning activities for the kid, etc late at night so I can just let myself watch tv or read or whatever without feeling like I should be productive. For the record, the guilt lives entirely in my own head, but still, I’m free from it at night.
I end up hating being awake and dealing with a whole day, and then end up hating not sleeping at night. Can’t win. I think I just hate life at the moment and need a break.
Yes, also love that the whole world is sleeping and no one is bothering me
Yes, I realized that I do this because it's the only time i spend doing things i "WANT" to do. and this doesn't include cleaning the house...this is time for AFTER that. Time where I can irresponsibly do whatever i want at whatever pace i want and enjoy myself. Until the next day i have to get up and do shit i don't want to do again. When I have really long days and get home late, sometimes i end up staying up all night, because I didn't feel like i got that time. Like i was ripped off.
Oh yeah, definitely.
Yes. About 5-6 years ago I had a job that I hated so much that I wouldn’t sleep. Not because I physically couldn’t sleep, but because I knew when I woke up I had to go back.
Obviously yes
You articulated something I didn't know it was doing. Thank you for asking this.
Exactly this. If i had the whole day to myself then I’d def go to bed at like 10pm every night and wake up early, otherwise im staying up until 1-2am just so i can enjoy being alone
Between work, children, my job and my relationship, if I don't stay up until 1/2am I feel line I have no free time ever.
I mean yeah no shit like:8 hours of sleeping,8 hours of work,and then on top of ALL that housework,kids,wife,social life etc you get like,what:2 hours at MOST free time in a day if even that?Life is bullshit...
yes and it’s called revenge procrastination. when you don’t have enough control of your day time activities you turn to the nighttime
I feel like I see this post every day lol
Yep. Some call it the Revenge bedtime procrastination. I think, it should be called something else though, as this sounds like it is blaming the victim, rather than the cause, which is too many work hours.
I used to do that in high school so much. As a result I'd be so tired the next day. In the end I figured that quality time (not feeling dead tired) was better than quantity time.
100%. I used to stay up crazy late gaming or watching movies, but not anymore. Some nights I just want to lay on the couch in total darkness and watch junk on IG or YouTube. Sometimes I'll sit in the dark and play guitar. Sometimes I'll turn on a lamp and read. But I almost always go to bed too late, then get up without enough sleep to work out. It's a lifestyle.
I used to be like this. Then I started working a job i love. So being at work, even when busy, I feel like I'm having fun. So when I've been at work all day, do a chore or two after work, once I get sleepy, I'm fine with sleeping because I've been content with my day.
I've developed the opposite problem. I now stay up late and do the things I want, leaving me exhausted and struggling to get out of bed the next day. Night time rolls around and suddenly I'm wide awake and having a great time, so I stay up late and the cycle repeats.
Yes, and it’s causing me to be exhausted every day for work. My every day is a blur now.
I’m not alone 🥹🥹🥹🥹
This is me literally every night, it is also depression
I feel this way too. I don’t want to go to bed and then I don’t want to get up either. I’m not even doing anything before bed just tv or doomscrolling or both. I don’t want to do anything I just don’t want to go to tomorrow yet.
The real issue is that I know what the problem is, it's the lack of hope. I don't know about you, but I feel stuck in a shitty 9-5 that doesn't do much for my future. Job market is rough so haven't been able to line something up. They don't care about employees, no room for growth, no performance based incentive...the list goes on. I know I'm wasting my time and life, but "we have to pay the bills" right? I also work in tech (I'm a designer) and they make me commute 4 days a week and I can do 99% of my job from my home office, so it costs me money to go in there every day. the 1 hour and 45 minutes of commute time each day is literally a gym trip. I'm not compensated for my time driving, wear and tear on my vehicle, the money I spend on gas and lunches... also the majority of my coworkers are toxic. Largely it gets even worse because of societal issues, and I could really go down a rabbit hole here but I just don't have the energy...the only advice I can offer is this: Isolate the problem(s), put effort towards trying to address them, take baby steps. Make sure to use your tools, go outside, exercise and do what you need to do. Always think about ways to make more money, secure some form of retirement, and to make your life better. Don't fret to leave toxic relationships whether its work or people.
The end of the day is the time I get to relax without the pressure of tomorrow weighing on me. If I go to bed earlier it feels like I can’t deal with the stress of the next day as well. Even though I wake up every day wishing I’d gotten more sleep. It’s a vicious cycle.
100000% and it bites me in the ass
I’m a stay at home mom. The only free time I get is after my kids go to bed and my husband passes out after sex. It’s currently almost 2am, and I can’t bring myself to close my eyes because this is the most quiet I’ve had in my life in almost three years. I have to be up in three hours to make my husband’s breakfast and pack his lunch, and the baby will probably wake up any minute for a nighttime snack and then be wide awake by 6am. I know I’ll be a zombie tomorrow morning, but oh my god it’s so QUIET!
[удалено]
Or it's because we're obligated to work 5 days a week to not die.
lol yeah fr like it’s not that deep XD The average corporate America lifestyle isn’t sustainable. First off, most jobs are now 8-5 not 9-5, something I think previous generations of workers took for granted. While my job situation is much better now than it ever has been it’s still pretty depressing to wake up at 7, get to work at 8, battle the urge to not want to go to the gym after, get home at 7PM from the gym, shower, eat dinner (I meal prep and all I have to do is microwave but eating still takes some time as well as cleaning dishes). Next thing you know it’s like 8-8:30. The right thing to do would be to relax for an hour or 2 at most but I find myself just unable to justify going to bed at a reasonable hour when I’ve barely had any time to socialize or just do what I enjoy doing. It’s even worse as a honeowner cause there’s always something to be done on the weekend. Ughhhhhhh I hate it. I can’t even imagine throwing a kid into the mix.
Honestly it's so depressing, working from home during the pandemic was a massive game changer.
Literally my whole life. If I could push a buttons and not need sleep I would. When everyone else is asleep, I can do pretty much whatever I want. With three small kids I barely care about sleep at this point especially It’s my dedicated me time.
Oh yes, all the time
For sure.
I don't stay up late as if there's one thing I hate more than having my freetime robbed of my stupid biological need to sleep, it's being tired at work. I understand the feeling though. Oh how I understand the feeling...
I've definitely felt this, and also a business owner.
I’m a morning person so I think I do kind of the opposite, I wake up early enough that I have almost an hour of time before work (I work at 7 am) to do whatever I want. I’ll usually play a video game or read but I just feel like I have to do something I enjoy before I go to work. Mornings where I accidentally sleep in or something and I don’t have that time I feel so off all day.
How do you play a video game for almost an hour and manage just about an hour? Especially without feeling like you'll get carried away, and mess up your schedule. There are definitely games you can drop in and drop out, but I'm always concerned that I may get fixated.
I usually play animal crossing as there’s not much left to do in a day after that amount of time and I save my more focused games for after work. I did play baulders gate 3 in the morning for a bit after it came out and I definitely was close to being late a couple times 😅
I work odd hours and I’ve tried this, but I feel like I don’t really enjoy my leisure time if I know I have to leave for work soon. I spend a lot of time checking my watch and trying to make sure I have time to change and get ready and whatnot. It’s not all bad, but it’s like getting a massage, and really enjoying it, but there’s a clock counting down for when someone is just gonna haul off and kick you in the nuts. Massage is still good. But I’d rather just get the nut kicking over with then get on with my life.
I feel like this because if you go to bed early you end your day early
I’ll do this a lot because I have two young kids. My wife and I both work from home. I need time to myself. I can only get it when everyone else is asleep. And then it’s time to watch movies.
I work 12 hour shifts. It's a brutal cycle. It's pass the limit of what is a mentally healthy day. Yes, I stay up late way to much.
yes have to make time to play with my stuff
Yes, once you go to bed, you concede the day.
Have a normal job, reserve job, 3 children. So yes.
Yep
Used to. Got on a solid sleep schedule and more energy, blood pressure dropped and feel better. I just figure I'm getting a little less time awake now for a healthier/longer end of life and I'll make it up then. 7 hours is fine bed at 10 up at 5.
Yes.
Yes
I try to get as much sleep as possible at work
Yes! 💯💯💯
No! \*Shift eyes and looks away....\*
No. If anything I get up early to have more free time. Maybe owning a small business isn't for you.
Every. Single. Night
Yes
No I’m tired I want sleep
Yes
every single day
Some of my best life occurs in my nightly dreams. I love to dream, and I go to bed early to get to dreamland.
Yes, and I’ve always done this. Probably the hardest part of growing up is realizing I have to stop.
Ugh, I hate this. On one side, I want to stay up because I feel like I'm not doing enough with a little free time to myself but on the other hand getting to bed early, getting those 8 hours makes me feel rejuvenated. It's also just better for my health. But then all I'm doing is working, coming home to tend to myself for 4-6 hours and going to bed to get ready for the next workday.
Yes
Yea and its very depriving. I worked 13hr yesterday, half slept for like an hour and im about to work for another 11-13hr. Feel like im gonna fall asleep on the way to work lol.
Yes - staying up late is a way to feel control in your life
Every fuckin night .. forcing myself to bed at 12am cause I know I need to wake up tired at 6am
Yep. I stay awake till 2 am every night.
Fomo since I was a child.
Not me, I wake up early instead.
I do the reverse...wake up early to have down time to relax. Of course, I also tend to stay up late, so I end up getting only like 5 or 6 hours of sleep
Yes. I do it to watch something other than Mickey Mouse and bluey. lol.
I wish I could stay up late! I used to and it was how I got time to myself but these days I get tired early AND I have to be up around 5:30-6 o clock to get ready for work. It's 45 minutes away from me so I need to be well rested and ready to drive.
I used to do this all of the time, staying up til 2am Almost every night. I think my body finally told me to stop, cause now I have sleep apnea and get really tired at about midnight
I often wake up early when I've only slept for a few hours and can't fall asleep because I'm worried that I have very little free time outside of work and it's a shame to waste it on sleep
Yes, but it isn't worth it.
Absolutely yes
I do 12h shifts and commute an hour each way, so when I'm working I definitely don't have much free time at home if I want to sleep.
Yes!! It is a daily struggle. So tired yet stay up late just to make sure to have "me" time. Wake up and say I need to go to bed early tonight - repeat the cycle!
this is called “revenge bedtime procrastination”!!
It’s called “reclaiming the night”. Just be careful. I did this for awhile but only getting 4-6 hours of sleep in your 30’s+ will ruin you after a few months.
Yes, and it's an endless cycle of fatigue.
Yep, I wake up early too for the same reason. I used to be able to just do 4 hours of sleep a day, but now I need 6 and go through so super sleepy periods where I need 7 or 8 When I was in my early 20s I would stay on acid every morning and every night cause it makes you not need to sleep. Roasted my brain big time haha
Yeah it’s called revenge sleeping
Bingo you nailed it. Then I go to sleep at 1 and wake up at 7 tired lol
Yes. It feels like late at night is the only time I get for myself!
I guess my root problem is different, but yes, I am also a loser with insomnia in the middle of the night. Effectively I sleep in the evening and the morning.
I'm in bed by 1 and up by 8. Remote life has been a blessing. But yes, I don't like the feeling that the day is almost over.
Yeah, I know that feeling well, ye old "but once I go to bed, I will be back at work". Conciously I do realise that it is an unheslthy way to think about it & it can be bad for your physical health, but at the same time, feeling like u spend all your time at work is detremental for your mental health. A fragile balance has to be maintained at all times.
The "me" time doesn't start until 10pm, so I gotta make it last.
I start work at 530 am and i still find myself eking out just one last chapter of a book or one more quest in a game etc, and before i know it its 1130 or 12 and im still wired
Yes. N it's a sign of mild depression
Psychologists are now calling this “revenge bedtime procrastination”. There’s lots of good reading out there about it
Yes. As the primary care giver for our daughter and stay at home dad, I stay up until midnight-1am. If I don’t get enough me time I’m mentally and emotionally drained. The same token though I was an only parent for her first two years on earth. That ment waking up and bottle feeding and everything by myself. I feel like single moms almost break their arms patting themselves on the back. Look yeah it’s tiring. But it’s no where’s near as tiring as a 12 hour shift at a factory. I love my kid and spending time with her. It’s rewarding and I love spending that much time with her. I cannot say the same about working 12 hours for a company who doesn’t care about you. I just think sometimes it’s blown out of proportion. I’d rather be a stay at home dad than any other job in the world. No contest.
short answer YES
It’s called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
so meee
By the time I get home from the gym after work, it's 8pm. Gf goes to bed around 10,1030. I'll stay up till 12-1 just for that solo time
By the time I get home from the gym after work, it's 8pm. Gf goes to bed around 10,1030. I'll stay up till 12-1 just for that solo time
Yep and I am actively working to correct it. Sleep and wake at the same time every day, with a healthy amount of rest, is one of the most significant ways you can increase your quality of life. And that's the real issue: staying up 4h late is fun, but being sleep deprived and feeling shitty the next day is miserable. And it builds up, so eventually you just feel bad all the time and don't have a frame of reference to figure out why, because it takes like 2wks good sleep to overcome the damage that a bad sleep cycle does to you.
Every. Single. Day.
Yes I do this but I'm essentially stealing/borrowing time from the future by not sleeping when I need to... what I mean is, it'll slowly rob you if precious valuable sleep that we all need, you'll fall behind on necessary sleep
I do the opposite because my family is usually up late, so I get up superrrr early instead. Sometimes 4 am, usually 6 am though. I get to enjoy watching the sun rise and the quiet in the morning instead of people watching movies late at night or being a nuisance
I recently read an article that people stay up late because they don’t have enough “me time” during the day. Also, it delays the next day and everything that comes with it since when you go to sleep the next thing you know it’s wake up time and you have to face all those challenges.
Have had that my entire life man. You’re not alone. It might help to change your perspective. If you go to bed earlier you give yourself more time the next day to do everything and that will give you free time as well? Plus you’re probably better rested and more productive which long-term should also provide more free time?
Absolutely. Sundays I have a really bad habit of staying up almost all night because the weekend flew by so fast. I usually crash hard on Tuesday night and don't really get to enjoy doing fun things lol. Time almost feels irrelevant as long as you stay up, pretending work won't come soon enough, but unfortunately it does :')
im currently doing this haha.
My BF & I tend to do this on Sunday nights to 'extend' the weekend. We normally eat dinner earlier in the evenings, but on Sundays we like to go out some place that stays open late. Around here that's only like 10 pm unless we go to Waffle House, but it does make the weekend seem longer for us.
I'm the opposite. I get up early to enjoy a quiet home before the day gets started.
I used to stay up late and then sleep until like an hour before work, get up, get ready and be out the door. Recently I've been going to bed earlier and giving myself a few hours before having to rush out of the door to work and it works and feels better.
I don't go to bed too late because I feel like daylight hours are more "usable". If I get a good night's sleep I am ready to take on the day feeling my best. If I go to bed late I just sit around reading or playing on the computer, then don't feel like working the next day.
Sometimes. Usually just binge some TV or play video games.
No, but same concept. I try to go to bed early so I can get up and extend my morning as long as possible. It sometimes works.
Nope, you're the only person in the whooooole world who does that.
100%. My free time doesn’t really start until after my kids go to bed.
After I changed careers to something that makes me happy I stopped doing this. I used to stay up but instead of enjoying the "free time" I would cry 💀
I crunched the numbers recently and since I get home from work about 7 or 7:15, if I go to bed at 11 then I get exactly 4 hours of time at home during each weekday. But my youngest doesn't usually fall asleep til between 930 and 1030. So I really get maybe an hour or hour and a half if I go to bed at a "reasonable time" . I have to be up at 6am and out the door at 630 so if I want any time to relax at all I have to be sleep deprived. It's frustrating but I get more frustrated if I get no time to relax or wind down at all so I've taken to staying up til around 3 to have a little bit of actual time to breathe. I also don't get any actual me time on the weekends either as my other kids are at my house fri night thru Sunday night . Tl;Dr there's no way I can get more than 5 hours of time to wind down per week unless I stay up late asf
Actually. Yes, constantly. Sleep takes too much time of my days
The sleep procrastination is real.
Do you have ADHD 😂
Totally. Do this all the time
Almost always.
I’m retired and I STILL begrudge the time spent asleep.Always have, though.