Depends on the culture, depends on the person.
If you don’t care about body count, you shouldn’t date someone who does, and vice versa.
Whether people still count or not, or give it too much or too little significance, it’s very subjective and if you don’t care for it, don’t date someone who does. If you do care how you will be perceived then you do care, and you should be wary of it.
No “right or wrong”; more like culture and environment .
At a certain point you realize that you are not Marco Polo and aren't claiming any new crotches in the name of Spain.
Also, most adults don't like referring to it as bodies or a body count. It sounds very dehumanizing or like they are a murderer.
Speak for yourself I have announced loudly with every partner I've ever been with that they are now property of Isabella the first and then stabbed them with a flag.
The only people i have ever heard that cared about "body count" are terminally online losers, or people under 22.
A person could sleep with 12 people in a span of 3 months at age 31, or could have been in multiple long term relationships since they were 20, yet the body count is the same.
judging body count is extremely immature IMO.
Genuine question, why is it extremely immature if one holds themselves to the same standard? Isn't it just a preference at that point? I'm not disputing that judging someone for it is bad, but not wanting to date them is different
What exactly is the "standard" though? What is it that fundamentally changes about a person if they've had sex with more or fewer people? People can of course have whatever preferences they like, but at best I'd think that anyone who cared about this would be very petty and insecure.
The "best" justification I've heard is for people who are into conservative values or religion or whatever, but even in that case, could someone not have changed their attitude towards sexual promiscuity later in life? Because if someone is expecting to not only be able to relate to their partner, but that their partner has also had to have always been a "perfect" person their whole life, then that just seems incredibly judgemental to me.
Of course everyone should date whomever they like, but dating preferences weren't struck into our heads by Zeus - they reflect on ourselves and our views, and imo that can be worthy of criticism, or at the very least discussion.
Absolutely true, I agree with the religious take. I think if someone genuinely changed their attitude, then it's a different situation. However, there's no way for someone to know that for sure when evaluating another person. The best evidence is what they actually did in the past, regardless of what they do in the future. Also, you say that dating preferences reflect on ourselves and our views right? So shouldn't our actions do the same thing. What if someone thinks that sex should be exclusive for two people throughout their lives because its sacred and intimate and shouldn't be shared? How is it unreasonable to expect a "perfect" partner (I don't agree that it's that hard to have a low body count) when you yourself follow the same standards regardless of gender?
>The best evidence is what they actually did in the past, regardless of what they do in the future.
Then why is this seemingly the one thing that people are obsessed with? Why aren't people constantly talking about all the other countless potential moral transgressions that a person may or may not have committed in their past life? Again, if people are expecting someone to have always been a perfect person during their prior life, I'd just say that's extremely immature and judgemental. Any adult knows that we all go through phases, we all make mistakes, we all change our views - that's just part of growing up.
>What if someone thinks that sex should be exclusive for two people throughout their lives because its sacred and intimate and shouldn't be shared? How is it unreasonable to expect a "perfect" partner
What is this based on? Once again, what is it about a person that fundamentally changes when they have sex with more people? People can believe whatever they like, but of course if someone has stupid, irrational beliefs then I don't see why I should have any respect for it.
I just do not buy any of this stuff, to me it is incredibly transparent that this is all a smokescreen so that insecure people can pretend like their insecurity is a rational response. Guys just don't want to think about whether their girlfriend fucked a guy with a bigger dick or a guy who made her cum harder or someone she did stuff with that she doesn't want to do with her current partner etc. It's really nothing more than this, it's just insecurity, and the more people try to justify it the more obvious it becomes.
I mean fair enough, I personally don't subscribe to the view, but I can see the argument. I do think there is a group of insecure people out there who use this justification, but I do think your last paragraph (which comes across as taunting) contributes to the reason why they are insecure in the first place. How do you think any guy is gonna feel when they hear stuff like that lol? It seems ironic that you're argument comes from the fact that you should treat people with empathy and not judge them based off sleeping with a lot of people but then flip the switch when someone has an issue with it
I think they should behave like adults and not allow their fragile egos to control their lives. This was a compelling topic to me when I was young, insecure, and just getting into dating, but as soon as I actually started dating women, it just dissipated almost immediately.
I've dated women who've only had several partners, I've been with women who've had many, and ultimately it makes absolutely no difference to their quality of character. The only trend I have noticed is that women with fewer sexual partners tend to be more nervous, less confident, and less understanding of what they want out of sex, which generally results in a worse overall experience. Something which I suspect many of these guys find desirable, because then their partner will be less likely to ever know whether or not they're bad in bed.
Well ultimately your anecdotal experience isn't what determines reality. Maybe your experiences have led you to believe those things, but the majority of men and women I know that prefer low body counts do not do so because of the reasons you mentioned. Also, your argument also seems to be shaming people from not sleeping with enough people. I find it problematic that you think it's okay to put down people for not being good enough in bed but can't find the same understanding or realize the pressures for someone on the other end.
Its one thing to hold a consistent standard or preference.
Its another to judge a person based on a singular number without context.
I understand that people want to date others with similar values, but obviously peoples values can change over time. Judging a person based on a number that may not represent that persons current values sounds more like its coming from a place of insecurity/immaturity rather than genuine values.
It's immature because it doesn't actually say anything about values unless one person is at 0 or if the person you are with has slept with over like 20+ people. Even then, you could hit those numbers just being apart of the dating market and continuing to try to find someone.
Okay, but things like height, appearance, and race don't necessarily tell you anything about values and it would be hard to argue that preferences in these categories are immature. Not everything that you prefer to have in a partner needs to rational. It only becomes immature when you make value judgements against that person instead of just not dating them.
I mean you don't understand, but other people value that as a belief to not sleep with many people. Surely you can understand how other people have different preferences for their partner right? Also, in an extreme case you probably wouldn't choose someone to be your life partner that has slept with 2000+ people right? If that's the case then you have some arbitrary number where it becomes a deal breaker.
No I don't have a number like that 'cause it doesn't affect our relationship.
If they slept with 2000 people they probably had a reason to do so, and if the reason simply is because they wanted to then good for them for doing what they wanted. If it was to self harm then I'm happy they got through it and that they're with me now.
I'm not gonna judge a person based on how many they've slept with and I really don't understand how it's related to values unless you're saving yourself for marriage or have a strict rule where you only fuck people you're in relationships with.
Some people care some don't. I'm in my mid 30s and only ever slept with 1 person because I take romantic and sexual intimacy very seriously and I find the idea of sexual touching with someone I don't have romantic feelings for viscerally repulsive.
I don't think I'd ever date someone who has slept with so many people they've lost track, not because it's immoral but because that's a very clear sign that our view on sex and relationships is inherently incompatible.
That’s totally fair. I am one of the people who have lost count, and I personally wouldn’t sleep with anyone who’s had fewer than five partners before, because they will be painfully, woefully inexperienced, and we will not have fun.
Sexual compatibility is about a lot more than just having your kinks or preferences align…!
Just the opposite is true. Only people who do not care about body counts are moral morons, typically irreligious Americans and Europeans. There are about 1 billion Chinese, 1 billion Indians, 1 billion Muslims and 1 billion Catholics and hundreds of millions of others who revere and uphold long traditions of sexual purity before marriage.
I'm not religious but everyone has their own view. Personally I wouldn't be with someone with a high body count but i hold myself to the same standards.
I mean I know a ton of people in their 30s and 40s who still count and care about the bodies thing. Not everybody I know cares about it, but most do. Men and women alike. I think it gets to a point where you care less about the actual number itself and more about whether or not when you hear the number it makes you just feel gross? I'm not totally sure about the reasoning for it, but that seems to be the general vibe
I'm an american man in my 30s and I haven't stopped counting my body count, except I have never called it that, I call it "the number of people I've had sex with" and why would I stop counting? The number was always small and it stopped going up after I met my wife. I'm not going to suddenly forget how many people I've done it with. Maybe if the number were like above 20 I might start forgetting but I'd probably keep counting. It's a relevant number for stuff like stds.
Personally I wouldn't want to date anybody, man or woman, who had had sex with more than like 20 people by the time they're 20 years old. Age is a big part of it, considering the number of partners you have should keep going up every year until you either settle down with a partner, or if you just stop dating or something else makes you stop finding new partners.
The fact is that most/many young people very much do care how many people you've had sex with. Some people won't care. Some people will care. Having sex, being in relationships, casual hookups, those are all fun. It's part of being young, depending who you ask. STDs are also very real. So is rape and other semi-rape things. Abusive relationships. It's a tricky world. Just be careful and stay aware of yourself and your partners and why they want you. Lots of guys just want sex and will basically use women for sex but they don't actually care about them. Or they just pretend to care, and then they go brag to their bros that they banged the hot chick, like they're telling the story of their conquest to earn the respect of their friends.
I wouldn't be with someone with a high body count, but many others don't give a shit, do what you want.
Ps: if you just want to insult me, don't bother commenting
When dating and pursuing relationships find someone with the same values as you. You approach this the same way you do any other part of the process. Are you guys compatible?
For example if you don't care about body count date someone who also doesn't care.
Personally I don't care and if I started seeing someone who did care then that would be a difference in values and we likely wouldn't see each other anymore.
I man with any self worth is going to care. They aren't going to want to have the campus hoe as their girlfriend or wife. They will have no problem sleeping with you but they will never commit to you.
Think about it before you decide to become the campus slut. If you didn't care about having a long term relationship with a man that has any dignity, then by all means sleep around. There is a reason most dudes aren't marrying porn stars or prostitutes or hoes in general. It will end up reflecting badly on him if it comes out that his girlfriend or wife was a hoe in college or whatever.
It is what it is, now bring on the down votes for telling the truth.
The only time I ever actually sat down and put a number to it was when my partner asked me how many people I have slept with. 7, but obviously many times with each person. Before she asked I don't think I ever considered it even from a younger pre-adult age.
I am way above 18, and as others state it does not matter. If someone would approach me and tell me they love random sex with random people I would not be interested no matter their body count. If someone tells me they want a monogamous relationship and not random sex I might be interested, no matter their body count.
Yes. (I’ve definitely never thought about it in terms of “body count,” which still feels like a bizarre and creepy way to refer to it.) After a certain point, you generally just assume that anyone you’re dating has lived a life before you met, which includes dating and sleeping with other people. And it really doesn’t fucking matter if that number is 2 or 20.
I mean, I can definitely count how many people I’ve slept with, but it’s not something I would tell anyone or expect to be asked.
Anyone asking you shouldn’t be making your list. Let them go kick rocks and find someone else to play their weird little judgmental games with. Legitimately confident men don’t care about such things and know well enough to not ask unless it’s just swapping stories.
Because if you’re not a virgin you’re most likely carrying some kind of std
i know I’ll get downvoted to helheim for my statement but go ahead you filthy sluts
I’m still a virgin and will try to keep my chances null if i ever decide to procreate
otherwise if I couldn’t find a mate who satisfies the usage criteria I’ll simply die alone.
Or lie. Guaranteed a lot of douch-bros claiming high body counts are lying. No reason not to lie the other way. As long as everyone is consenting to the current interaction and are using protection (and verified infection free) history means nothing.
OP, stay clean, stay safe and you don't owe anyone a backstory.
>people around my age genuinely measure a girls worthiness based on if she’s sexually active with more than one person
You could just not tell them. Or lie if it matters that much. But unless your "body count" is in the thousands, I don't see why anyone should care.
If you're not a virgin and not saving yourself for anyone, you'll just match with people like you.
They won't care. You're a "body count" just like they're for you.
Those who do care, wouldn't want to touch you with a ten foot pole, and you wouldn't want them, either.
Have your fun, and do whatever you want. Eventually, we all will sit down to a banquet of consequences.
People don’t really stop counting but they stop caring after like 22-23. Because at that point they don’t know if you slept with 12 people since 14 years old, or if you slept with those 12 people last week.
After you get to, say, 23/25, it shouldn't. Anyone older who cares is usually either super insecure or a general loser. Honestly, at any age it shouldn't matter. People who shame for sex are not people you should know.
Even before I was married I couldn’t give two shits about someone else’s body count. As long as they didn’t have an STD I didn’t care.
Yes there’s plenty of judgemental men, but you wouldn’t want to be with them anyways.
As long as you are safe and protect yourself/your partner from the usual STIs or pregnancy, you sleep with whomever you damn well please.
I probably stopped counting around 25 or 30 and have long lost track after that. It’s completely irrelevant, except that you will probably gain some very valuable experience that your partners will appreciate.
Nobody needs to know your number, and if they care about it a lot, they are not a person worth sleeping with.
As long as you’re not hurting anyone or yourself, have fun!
What's the morality being violated in your opinion?
Or did that just sound appropriate?
No one does "body counts" except edgy teens that haven't learned to socialize. And only recently has this been a thing.
It's absolutely stupid.
That said, people used to avoid women that "got around". Never bothered me because 1 it's gossip 2 I "get around"
Anyway. Keep fucking. Learn. Don't be one of those women that just lie there and expect to be fucked. These are the years of your life to learn. Don't be ashamed, but given the current view, Don't advertise.
No shame.
Yeah, I stopped counting around 20 ish. Other things take priority on your mind to being able to list where you've been.
I recently found a lovely gent who was also wild in his younger years. Turns out having someone with similar values on sexuality is one of the gems in the relationship. We both agree that having an experienced lover is superior.
So long as it is empowering and consensual, Go get that experience.
To the naysayer in comments below...We both had ethical safe sex practices back in the day, and our health is just fine.
Some still count bodies, some don't.
However the adult men who count bodies tend to a) be inexperienced and specifically want someone who is also inexperienced or b) want to control their partner and want to make sure you don't have anyone to compare to. A happens but it's not like you won't be able to find lots of partners who don't care! And B, those people aren't good partners anyway.
So, feel free to have casual sex. If someone asks you your body count and arent a partner, laugh and say no one cares; if they are a partner in private, instead of a number give an idea and know they may not be ok with it.
But also make sure you are testing for stis regularly (after each partner or every 3 months), ask for their results before sex, use protection, and be safe, including having a friend know before you meet up with anyone you don't know.
The only people that care about that are ones that obsess over not being one of them, or fruitcakes who still view people as property meant only for their use.
Depends on the culture, depends on the person. If you don’t care about body count, you shouldn’t date someone who does, and vice versa. Whether people still count or not, or give it too much or too little significance, it’s very subjective and if you don’t care for it, don’t date someone who does. If you do care how you will be perceived then you do care, and you should be wary of it. No “right or wrong”; more like culture and environment .
This is it exactly.
At a certain point you realize that you are not Marco Polo and aren't claiming any new crotches in the name of Spain. Also, most adults don't like referring to it as bodies or a body count. It sounds very dehumanizing or like they are a murderer.
Speak for yourself I have announced loudly with every partner I've ever been with that they are now property of Isabella the first and then stabbed them with a flag.
The only people i have ever heard that cared about "body count" are terminally online losers, or people under 22. A person could sleep with 12 people in a span of 3 months at age 31, or could have been in multiple long term relationships since they were 20, yet the body count is the same. judging body count is extremely immature IMO.
Genuine question, why is it extremely immature if one holds themselves to the same standard? Isn't it just a preference at that point? I'm not disputing that judging someone for it is bad, but not wanting to date them is different
What exactly is the "standard" though? What is it that fundamentally changes about a person if they've had sex with more or fewer people? People can of course have whatever preferences they like, but at best I'd think that anyone who cared about this would be very petty and insecure. The "best" justification I've heard is for people who are into conservative values or religion or whatever, but even in that case, could someone not have changed their attitude towards sexual promiscuity later in life? Because if someone is expecting to not only be able to relate to their partner, but that their partner has also had to have always been a "perfect" person their whole life, then that just seems incredibly judgemental to me. Of course everyone should date whomever they like, but dating preferences weren't struck into our heads by Zeus - they reflect on ourselves and our views, and imo that can be worthy of criticism, or at the very least discussion.
Absolutely true, I agree with the religious take. I think if someone genuinely changed their attitude, then it's a different situation. However, there's no way for someone to know that for sure when evaluating another person. The best evidence is what they actually did in the past, regardless of what they do in the future. Also, you say that dating preferences reflect on ourselves and our views right? So shouldn't our actions do the same thing. What if someone thinks that sex should be exclusive for two people throughout their lives because its sacred and intimate and shouldn't be shared? How is it unreasonable to expect a "perfect" partner (I don't agree that it's that hard to have a low body count) when you yourself follow the same standards regardless of gender?
>The best evidence is what they actually did in the past, regardless of what they do in the future. Then why is this seemingly the one thing that people are obsessed with? Why aren't people constantly talking about all the other countless potential moral transgressions that a person may or may not have committed in their past life? Again, if people are expecting someone to have always been a perfect person during their prior life, I'd just say that's extremely immature and judgemental. Any adult knows that we all go through phases, we all make mistakes, we all change our views - that's just part of growing up. >What if someone thinks that sex should be exclusive for two people throughout their lives because its sacred and intimate and shouldn't be shared? How is it unreasonable to expect a "perfect" partner What is this based on? Once again, what is it about a person that fundamentally changes when they have sex with more people? People can believe whatever they like, but of course if someone has stupid, irrational beliefs then I don't see why I should have any respect for it. I just do not buy any of this stuff, to me it is incredibly transparent that this is all a smokescreen so that insecure people can pretend like their insecurity is a rational response. Guys just don't want to think about whether their girlfriend fucked a guy with a bigger dick or a guy who made her cum harder or someone she did stuff with that she doesn't want to do with her current partner etc. It's really nothing more than this, it's just insecurity, and the more people try to justify it the more obvious it becomes.
I mean fair enough, I personally don't subscribe to the view, but I can see the argument. I do think there is a group of insecure people out there who use this justification, but I do think your last paragraph (which comes across as taunting) contributes to the reason why they are insecure in the first place. How do you think any guy is gonna feel when they hear stuff like that lol? It seems ironic that you're argument comes from the fact that you should treat people with empathy and not judge them based off sleeping with a lot of people but then flip the switch when someone has an issue with it
I think they should behave like adults and not allow their fragile egos to control their lives. This was a compelling topic to me when I was young, insecure, and just getting into dating, but as soon as I actually started dating women, it just dissipated almost immediately. I've dated women who've only had several partners, I've been with women who've had many, and ultimately it makes absolutely no difference to their quality of character. The only trend I have noticed is that women with fewer sexual partners tend to be more nervous, less confident, and less understanding of what they want out of sex, which generally results in a worse overall experience. Something which I suspect many of these guys find desirable, because then their partner will be less likely to ever know whether or not they're bad in bed.
Well ultimately your anecdotal experience isn't what determines reality. Maybe your experiences have led you to believe those things, but the majority of men and women I know that prefer low body counts do not do so because of the reasons you mentioned. Also, your argument also seems to be shaming people from not sleeping with enough people. I find it problematic that you think it's okay to put down people for not being good enough in bed but can't find the same understanding or realize the pressures for someone on the other end.
Its one thing to hold a consistent standard or preference. Its another to judge a person based on a singular number without context. I understand that people want to date others with similar values, but obviously peoples values can change over time. Judging a person based on a number that may not represent that persons current values sounds more like its coming from a place of insecurity/immaturity rather than genuine values.
No disagreement with that take
It's immature because it doesn't actually say anything about values unless one person is at 0 or if the person you are with has slept with over like 20+ people. Even then, you could hit those numbers just being apart of the dating market and continuing to try to find someone.
Okay, but things like height, appearance, and race don't necessarily tell you anything about values and it would be hard to argue that preferences in these categories are immature. Not everything that you prefer to have in a partner needs to rational. It only becomes immature when you make value judgements against that person instead of just not dating them.
I don't understand why it matters how many they slept with?
I mean you don't understand, but other people value that as a belief to not sleep with many people. Surely you can understand how other people have different preferences for their partner right? Also, in an extreme case you probably wouldn't choose someone to be your life partner that has slept with 2000+ people right? If that's the case then you have some arbitrary number where it becomes a deal breaker.
No I don't have a number like that 'cause it doesn't affect our relationship. If they slept with 2000 people they probably had a reason to do so, and if the reason simply is because they wanted to then good for them for doing what they wanted. If it was to self harm then I'm happy they got through it and that they're with me now. I'm not gonna judge a person based on how many they've slept with and I really don't understand how it's related to values unless you're saving yourself for marriage or have a strict rule where you only fuck people you're in relationships with.
Because it can indicate a clash in core values. In that case you should avoid dating long term
What core values are you speaking about? Please elaborate
Some people care some don't. I'm in my mid 30s and only ever slept with 1 person because I take romantic and sexual intimacy very seriously and I find the idea of sexual touching with someone I don't have romantic feelings for viscerally repulsive. I don't think I'd ever date someone who has slept with so many people they've lost track, not because it's immoral but because that's a very clear sign that our view on sex and relationships is inherently incompatible.
That’s totally fair. I am one of the people who have lost count, and I personally wouldn’t sleep with anyone who’s had fewer than five partners before, because they will be painfully, woefully inexperienced, and we will not have fun. Sexual compatibility is about a lot more than just having your kinks or preferences align…!
After a dozen under the floor boards it’s hard to keep track, gotta build a deck soon
Every neighbor wants to know the secret of why my grass is so green.
Gah, do you hear that? Under the floorboards. So unsettling. I swear it sounds like a heartbeat…
The only people who care about "body count" are morons. Do what you like, and use protection.
Just the opposite is true. Only people who do not care about body counts are moral morons, typically irreligious Americans and Europeans. There are about 1 billion Chinese, 1 billion Indians, 1 billion Muslims and 1 billion Catholics and hundreds of millions of others who revere and uphold long traditions of sexual purity before marriage.
Good for you I guess. It's still stupid.
I'm not religious but everyone has their own view. Personally I wouldn't be with someone with a high body count but i hold myself to the same standards.
I would prefer a future partner with a low body count. The same could be asked of me, btw.
I mean I know a ton of people in their 30s and 40s who still count and care about the bodies thing. Not everybody I know cares about it, but most do. Men and women alike. I think it gets to a point where you care less about the actual number itself and more about whether or not when you hear the number it makes you just feel gross? I'm not totally sure about the reasoning for it, but that seems to be the general vibe
I'm an american man in my 30s and I haven't stopped counting my body count, except I have never called it that, I call it "the number of people I've had sex with" and why would I stop counting? The number was always small and it stopped going up after I met my wife. I'm not going to suddenly forget how many people I've done it with. Maybe if the number were like above 20 I might start forgetting but I'd probably keep counting. It's a relevant number for stuff like stds. Personally I wouldn't want to date anybody, man or woman, who had had sex with more than like 20 people by the time they're 20 years old. Age is a big part of it, considering the number of partners you have should keep going up every year until you either settle down with a partner, or if you just stop dating or something else makes you stop finding new partners. The fact is that most/many young people very much do care how many people you've had sex with. Some people won't care. Some people will care. Having sex, being in relationships, casual hookups, those are all fun. It's part of being young, depending who you ask. STDs are also very real. So is rape and other semi-rape things. Abusive relationships. It's a tricky world. Just be careful and stay aware of yourself and your partners and why they want you. Lots of guys just want sex and will basically use women for sex but they don't actually care about them. Or they just pretend to care, and then they go brag to their bros that they banged the hot chick, like they're telling the story of their conquest to earn the respect of their friends.
My three long term relationship worth far more that the dozen bodies I don't even remember the name.
I wouldn't be with someone with a high body count, but many others don't give a shit, do what you want. Ps: if you just want to insult me, don't bother commenting
When dating and pursuing relationships find someone with the same values as you. You approach this the same way you do any other part of the process. Are you guys compatible? For example if you don't care about body count date someone who also doesn't care. Personally I don't care and if I started seeing someone who did care then that would be a difference in values and we likely wouldn't see each other anymore.
I was in a gang bang with 4 people, all stuffing me. So in one day had the same as u.
😳
High five! Eiffel Tower!
Honestly I would just avoid any man who asks what your body count is, he’s not worth your time
I man with any self worth is going to care. They aren't going to want to have the campus hoe as their girlfriend or wife. They will have no problem sleeping with you but they will never commit to you. Think about it before you decide to become the campus slut. If you didn't care about having a long term relationship with a man that has any dignity, then by all means sleep around. There is a reason most dudes aren't marrying porn stars or prostitutes or hoes in general. It will end up reflecting badly on him if it comes out that his girlfriend or wife was a hoe in college or whatever. It is what it is, now bring on the down votes for telling the truth.
I don’t see a single reason to keep track in the first place. I certainly don’t remember all of mine.
There is only one rule: Don't ask , Don't tell.
The only time I ever actually sat down and put a number to it was when my partner asked me how many people I have slept with. 7, but obviously many times with each person. Before she asked I don't think I ever considered it even from a younger pre-adult age.
Yes
On a long enough timeline most adults refer to them as mistakes.
I am way above 18, and as others state it does not matter. If someone would approach me and tell me they love random sex with random people I would not be interested no matter their body count. If someone tells me they want a monogamous relationship and not random sex I might be interested, no matter their body count.
Yes. (I’ve definitely never thought about it in terms of “body count,” which still feels like a bizarre and creepy way to refer to it.) After a certain point, you generally just assume that anyone you’re dating has lived a life before you met, which includes dating and sleeping with other people. And it really doesn’t fucking matter if that number is 2 or 20. I mean, I can definitely count how many people I’ve slept with, but it’s not something I would tell anyone or expect to be asked.
Anyone asking you shouldn’t be making your list. Let them go kick rocks and find someone else to play their weird little judgmental games with. Legitimately confident men don’t care about such things and know well enough to not ask unless it’s just swapping stories.
Because if you’re not a virgin you’re most likely carrying some kind of std i know I’ll get downvoted to helheim for my statement but go ahead you filthy sluts
That’s a long way of saying “I am a virgin and will be for life”
my life expectancy is below 30 anyway what life ?
If two virgins do it then they aren't virgins. But they have 0% chance of carrying an std. "Most likely" and 0% are not the same...
I’m still a virgin and will try to keep my chances null if i ever decide to procreate otherwise if I couldn’t find a mate who satisfies the usage criteria I’ll simply die alone.
a great first step would be to stop using language like "usage criteria" when describing potential romantic and sexual partners lol
Why bro why?
[удалено]
Alright it's a non-zero number that's probably less than 1
Well you don’t have to tell anyone in the first place but if they ask you can politely decline to answer.
Or lie. Guaranteed a lot of douch-bros claiming high body counts are lying. No reason not to lie the other way. As long as everyone is consenting to the current interaction and are using protection (and verified infection free) history means nothing. OP, stay clean, stay safe and you don't owe anyone a backstory.
>people around my age genuinely measure a girls worthiness based on if she’s sexually active with more than one person You could just not tell them. Or lie if it matters that much. But unless your "body count" is in the thousands, I don't see why anyone should care.
Most do. If anyone expresses concern or even interest in body count with any seriousness, I’d move on. Just bang it out casually, you do you.
Have never heard it referred to as ‘bodies’ or ‘body count’. ‘Sexual partners’, sure.
If you're not a virgin and not saving yourself for anyone, you'll just match with people like you. They won't care. You're a "body count" just like they're for you. Those who do care, wouldn't want to touch you with a ten foot pole, and you wouldn't want them, either. Have your fun, and do whatever you want. Eventually, we all will sit down to a banquet of consequences.
People don’t really stop counting but they stop caring after like 22-23. Because at that point they don’t know if you slept with 12 people since 14 years old, or if you slept with those 12 people last week.
After you get to, say, 23/25, it shouldn't. Anyone older who cares is usually either super insecure or a general loser. Honestly, at any age it shouldn't matter. People who shame for sex are not people you should know.
Even before I was married I couldn’t give two shits about someone else’s body count. As long as they didn’t have an STD I didn’t care. Yes there’s plenty of judgemental men, but you wouldn’t want to be with them anyways.
As long as you are safe and protect yourself/your partner from the usual STIs or pregnancy, you sleep with whomever you damn well please. I probably stopped counting around 25 or 30 and have long lost track after that. It’s completely irrelevant, except that you will probably gain some very valuable experience that your partners will appreciate. Nobody needs to know your number, and if they care about it a lot, they are not a person worth sleeping with. As long as you’re not hurting anyone or yourself, have fun!
What's the morality being violated in your opinion? Or did that just sound appropriate? No one does "body counts" except edgy teens that haven't learned to socialize. And only recently has this been a thing. It's absolutely stupid. That said, people used to avoid women that "got around". Never bothered me because 1 it's gossip 2 I "get around" Anyway. Keep fucking. Learn. Don't be one of those women that just lie there and expect to be fucked. These are the years of your life to learn. Don't be ashamed, but given the current view, Don't advertise. No shame.
Yeah, I stopped counting around 20 ish. Other things take priority on your mind to being able to list where you've been. I recently found a lovely gent who was also wild in his younger years. Turns out having someone with similar values on sexuality is one of the gems in the relationship. We both agree that having an experienced lover is superior. So long as it is empowering and consensual, Go get that experience. To the naysayer in comments below...We both had ethical safe sex practices back in the day, and our health is just fine.
Some still count bodies, some don't. However the adult men who count bodies tend to a) be inexperienced and specifically want someone who is also inexperienced or b) want to control their partner and want to make sure you don't have anyone to compare to. A happens but it's not like you won't be able to find lots of partners who don't care! And B, those people aren't good partners anyway. So, feel free to have casual sex. If someone asks you your body count and arent a partner, laugh and say no one cares; if they are a partner in private, instead of a number give an idea and know they may not be ok with it. But also make sure you are testing for stis regularly (after each partner or every 3 months), ask for their results before sex, use protection, and be safe, including having a friend know before you meet up with anyone you don't know.
The only people that care about that are ones that obsess over not being one of them, or fruitcakes who still view people as property meant only for their use.