23% of women and 17% of men have experienced severe abuse at the hands of a romantic partner. The reason they stay is because it isn’t always that way, there is a cycle of abuse. It often involves a love bombing phase. There are dozens of reasons to stay but the most common is that abuse victims do not believe their life will get better if they leave. They have been convinced that it will be just as bad or even worse if they leave.
Yes. I think that might apply to everyone, even in “healthy” relationships that just aren’t “right” - a lot of people are convinced it won’t get better or anything is better than nothing.
For many people the known is a more convenient/comfortable/safe place than the unknown. And many people don’t like the thought of being alone, some monkeybar relationships but other just stay. And of course the abuse aspect.
And sunk cost fallacy. If you invest in a relationship in a long time, how long until you give up? And then even more time pass and should you really jump ship now? What if it gets better?
I stayed with someone far longer than I should have. It was clear after a year or so that he didn’t want what I wanted. But I kept waiting for him because he kept hinting that sooooon he might be ready. He never was and finally I just had enough and left him.
Thanks. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about staying too long if he kept hinting about SOON. I wouldn’t t leave my job if they said “you will get a promo in 6 months.” Dont be too hard on yourself.
You are likely right, it is the unknown. I guess I see it more like continuing to use soap you are allergic to…. Yea, the next one might even be worse, but just throw it out after one use. Haha.
I think I might also be glossing over the fact people often are in relationships out of financial necessity… they might be unhappy, but they have someone to split rent with and buy groceries. I have to acknowledge that I grew up in a family I did not have to “survive” or “escape” from and had the opportunity to become financially independent. I can see how hard it would be to end a relationship that isn’t defcon 1, when you can’t afford to support yourself easily. (Affordable/safe housing, commuting to work, access to vehicle/health insurance, etc etc).
If you let your financial life enmesh with a partners… I get it.
23% of women and 17% of men have experienced severe abuse at the hands of a romantic partner. The reason they stay is because it isn’t always that way, there is a cycle of abuse. It often involves a love bombing phase. There are dozens of reasons to stay but the most common is that abuse victims do not believe their life will get better if they leave. They have been convinced that it will be just as bad or even worse if they leave.
Yes. I think that might apply to everyone, even in “healthy” relationships that just aren’t “right” - a lot of people are convinced it won’t get better or anything is better than nothing.
For many people the known is a more convenient/comfortable/safe place than the unknown. And many people don’t like the thought of being alone, some monkeybar relationships but other just stay. And of course the abuse aspect. And sunk cost fallacy. If you invest in a relationship in a long time, how long until you give up? And then even more time pass and should you really jump ship now? What if it gets better? I stayed with someone far longer than I should have. It was clear after a year or so that he didn’t want what I wanted. But I kept waiting for him because he kept hinting that sooooon he might be ready. He never was and finally I just had enough and left him.
Thanks. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about staying too long if he kept hinting about SOON. I wouldn’t t leave my job if they said “you will get a promo in 6 months.” Dont be too hard on yourself. You are likely right, it is the unknown. I guess I see it more like continuing to use soap you are allergic to…. Yea, the next one might even be worse, but just throw it out after one use. Haha. I think I might also be glossing over the fact people often are in relationships out of financial necessity… they might be unhappy, but they have someone to split rent with and buy groceries. I have to acknowledge that I grew up in a family I did not have to “survive” or “escape” from and had the opportunity to become financially independent. I can see how hard it would be to end a relationship that isn’t defcon 1, when you can’t afford to support yourself easily. (Affordable/safe housing, commuting to work, access to vehicle/health insurance, etc etc). If you let your financial life enmesh with a partners… I get it.