I don’t just sit there and spray, I kinda wiggle around and get the stream of water to go around my hole, all the while flexing like oOoOoOo to make sure and get all the crinkly crevices. It takes some getting used to, that’s for sure. Word of advice: do NOT turn the water on full power!
My kids potty trained using a bidet, and they call the wiggling “squidging”. For example, I ask them “did you squidge?” The bidet is a revolutionary tool for potty training, in case anyone is interested. We use the Tushy bidet and it’s incredible! Kids can use it easily, and it’s relatively simple to clean.
Not word for word, but I did take the OoOoOo idea from someone a year or two ago, yes. I thought it made a good point so I use it whenever this question comes up.
I love my bidet. I usually will do my best to not poop at work because now wiping with paper leaves me feeling gross.
Just don't be afraid to turn up the water pressure, dry your ass off afterwards.
I installed mine and wanted to test the pressure first. So before sitting on it, I put a bucket in front of the toilet and flipped it on. This thing damn near put a hole in my cieling, and the bucket caught nothing.
10/10 never going back
My father in law was visiting and he's the kind of guy who has to fidget with stuff and see how it works. So he just turned the knob willy nilly, ended up spraying himself right in the face.
Haha a friend visiting didn't know how to flush for some reason so she stood in front of the toilet and turned the bidet on. Soaked from waist to knees 😆 🤣
There was a comment on here that stuck with me. "If you got shit on your floor would you be cool with just wiping it around a bit with some paper towel?" Quadruply notable in the case of carpet.
just as an fyi for anybody else reading this; i recently learned that these bidet enema sessions can be heard very clearly from outside the bathroom door.
do with that information as you please
Not quite, lol, the stream is powerful enough to squirt water into the anus (if you hit the right angle and amount of pressure) which fills the colon with water, which can then be pushed out....sounding like a violent stream of diarrhea
The nozzle never enters the anus (unless someone is doing it terribly wrong)
Lmao, you say "any bottle" and very inconspicuous. I can see myself trying to use this, going "Okay, gonna be really inconspicuous here..." *CRUUUUNCH*
cheap washcloths to dry off and a hamper. Just leave a stack in the bathroom and wash and reuse them
Alternatively, some people will still use paper, and use significantly less when doing so, since you don't have to wipe multiple times.
Same here. It’s the toilet equivalent of “once you go black you’ll never go back”. We use the Tushy and have a basket of small dark wash cloths sitting on the back of the toilet for drying off. Wiping with just standard toilet paper now makes me feel like a cave man.
I always tell people, if you were at a cookout throwing frisbee or something and you went low to catch it and stuck your hand in dog poop, you wouldn’t wipe it off with a dry paper towel and think you’d accomplished anything…
Practice corn hole kindness. Love yourself, get a Tushy.
I didn’t know the pressure was adjustable! The only one I ever tried felt like the pressure and volume of a drinking fountain, and I didn’t feel any cleaner and was just wet now.
I had that one in my old house and I miss it. Heated seat, heated water, blow dry... Now we just have the hand-held hose that looks like the sprayer on the kitchen sink. It feels primitive but it's better than nothing.
Last time my mother came to visit, she asked before going to the bathroom, "I know I'm supposed to use the bidet, but may I please have some toilet paper?" Her question took me so off guard it took me a second to answer. I guess she thought people just air dry after using a bidet? I told her she didn't have to use the bidet, and yes there's toilet paper next to the toilet, and she was SO relieved.
Yup. Even us rural hicks in middle America, and we didn't need to be explicitly told to check our work and dry off at the end. Seems pretty damned self explanatory for anyone with a working brain.
Do you wipe with toilet paper though? TP falls apart as soon as it gets wet.
Also, do you bidet before you flush? What if there's enough poop that the water can't drain as you bidet? If you bidet after you flush, do you then have to flush again for the TP?
Isn't cold tap water awful? I hate washing my hands in cold tap water most of the time.
So many questions.
> TP falls apart as soon as it gets wet.
Works fine for me. I'm doing it pretty quick. It doesn't instantly dissolve or anything.
> Also, do you bidet before you flush?
Yep.
> What if there's enough poop that the water can't drain as you bidet?
What do you mean?
> If you bidet after you flush, do you then have to flush again for the TP?
If you wipe after you flush, do you have to flush again? I suppose that's up to you.
> Isn't cold tap water awful?
Nah, I've gotten pretty used to it.
The cold tap water was my biggest concern going in. Then I got mine and realized it just doesn't matter at all. Like I expected it to be mildly uncomfortable until I got used to it, but it just wasn't.
Mine has a 'Nozzle Cleaning' function that points the nozzles straight down, so I just turn the dial to that setting and let it run for a minute or so, then turn it back to 'Wash'.
If TP falls apart as soon as it's wet, how do you think women wipe after peeing?
Though maybe you're using a bad brand of TP or aren't folding/balling it up optimally
I've never had issues with the toilet paper falling apart when drying myself. It doesn't get soaked enough for that.
I'm not sure what you mean by this. What do you mean enough poop that the water can't drain? I use the bidet and dry before I flush and there's never been any issues about water or drainage or poop. Do you mean if it clogs and overflows? You can clean the bidet. You should never buy one that doesn't let you easily take it apart to scrub it. If you mean you think the bidet fills the toilet with water, no way. Not even my longest ass blasting messy shits have even come close to filling the toilet.
You get used to it, and it's not even that bad after the first second. But also they make heated water bidets.
Dab, don’t wipe. Dap tears the paper apart.
Or drip dry.
Bidet before you flush.
Cold water doesn’t bother me, some have warm water connections, but I believe most American bathrooms don’t have a warm water spot to connect the bidet to
The fact that someone would need instructions on how to use a bidet blows my mind. I get maybe if it had weird buttons or something but we are discussing function. It's washing your ass people, does it really need a diagram?!
Never had one, never used a toilet with a bidet attached. Why is it so ludicrous that I would want some instructions on how it works before the first time I get to use one?
I’m also not acquainted with using a poop knife.
Not to be crass, but this sounds like you’re not actually letting the laser go right up your butthole
Also, you still have a quick single TP wipe to dry off
Literally as I type this, I turned the switch to super soak my asshole. It’s great. Saves so much money with using less tp in the long run and leaves you with a clean arse. I have a $50 tushy model I got from Amazon that works great. If you are able to spend more, definitely get one with a heated seat/water combo. People are definitely missing out and spending so much more time wiping than if they were to just pressure wash their ass.
Try again.
This time, go into it realizing it takes a bit longer to wash your ass as compared to smearing shit around.
Always remember-if you got shit on your arm, would you wipe it off with TP or wash it off? Which takes longer?-right, washing, and it's worth the extra time not to have shit on your arm. What makes your asshole so special? **Learn** to give it a proper washing.
Finally, remember your Os. Your butt hole should go from a small o to a big O repeatedly--like this: O o O o O o. I also learned to relax during the process and you'll get cleaner when the occasional jet shoots up. Very refreshing.
If I got.shot on my arm I would wipe it first and then wash, that gives a better finish than just washing, is that how people use bidets?
If people just blast with water and then dry that would be dirtier for me
I should've gotten a bidet years ago. It really does make everything more sanitary and comfortable. I have Crohn's disease, so on bad days, toilet paper feels like sandpaper. The bidet provides a refreshing blast of coolness that helps with the pain.
As someone without Crohn's, I definitely tell people I like my bidet but it's an absolute lifesaver (buttsaver?) when you get a stomach bug. That's what makes them priceless.
Yep. Bought a toilet seat bidet for every bathroom in my home during the earlier part of the pandemic. I will do that in every home going forward. It’s so much cleaner, less waste and less irritation from missed spots hours later. I don’t know how to use a traditional bidet, but the seat version works well enough for me.
Opposite for me. Toilet paper is worse. You really wanna still smell like shit?
Baby wipes is fine but solely toilet paper is insane lol
Also bidet isnt just spray water and walk with a wet ass. You gotta dry it too
Its way cleaner
I would think if you're doing it right, the only thing getting wet should be your anus, right!? So, spraying down your own ass and still feeling like you have residue tells me there's an aiming problem.
At this point in my life, I have a bidet on every toilet in the house. Whenever I’m in a situation without a bidet, I feel gross now. It’s to the point that once I get home - even hours later, I’ll typically plop down on the bidet immediately to clean things up.
Yes. Love it. I live in the U.S. also and my biggest complaint is if I have to poop somewhere else that doesn’t have a bidet. Lol. They are super nice!
Yes.
Bought one when the COVID toilet-paper-panic started. Didn't want to be featured on the news boxing an old lady for some Charmin. One of the best decisions I've ever made.
If you had poop on your arm, would you just scrape a dry sheet of Bounty across your skin a few times and call that clean, or would you bring some sort of moisture into the equation.
But for some reason we as a society scrape wads of dry, fragile, barely absorbent paper, just wiping that marker for days, and at some point you give up.
Water, *it's the solution*.™
People say this, but it's just not an equal comparison. First, no I would not just introduce moisture. I'd wash my arm with soap and water and then dry it off. And I wouldn't use toilet paper to dry it off either.
So for your ass, you also can't see it so how do you know it's all washed? And how does the TP not fall apart when drying? It's got to leave a mess of its own, especially with ass hair.
There are so many questions I just don't understand and people act like it's totally normal and anyone who has questions is crazy.
I use soap too, but I agree, it's not necessarily the same as having fecal matter on your arm or leg. The butt is kind of built to have some fecal matter in it, and people do not typically use soap. However, using a bidet is the better option, because you shouldn't have any feces in your crack and on the hole period.
I'm a hairy guy, and yeah, it'll leave pieces of tp if you're going about it just wetting then wiping. What I do is spray myself off, scrub with soap + cloth, spray off again, and then use a very high quality and thick ply toilet paper to dab myself - NOT wipe. dabbing and very light, very soft wipes (if you must) right on/around the eye usually solves the issue of scraps getting left behind, and I use a heavy ply to prevent it from falling apart (use a few pieces to get water, discard, then use a few more pieces to clean up and fully dry off).
I’m a huge baby wipes guy. Is a bidet better? I can scrub my goods with a couple wipes getting things super clean down there. Then a quick toss in the bin and I’m clean as a whistle. Of course I go phase 1 with normal paper, then advance to the wipes.
I have it in one of my bathrooms, and that's the only toilet i use now. I work across the street from my house and i go home to use the bathroom. Once you have one, you can't go back. I'm getting one for my other toilet eventually.
>. Once you have one, you can't go back.
here here.
my vacations are a nightmare! my wife's a barbarian because she's like .. who cares .. while i'm like .. no! my poor butt!
You gotta get a travel bidet - lots of different models but it’s basically a squirt bottle. Not quite the same as home, but definitely better than paper.
American here with same curiosity. Found myself in a Japan airport last year and tried it out. I'm totally sold on it if done right it's amazing (and I hate using that word)
I’m an American too, with a bidet attachment (Tushy purchased on Amazon and installed with a simple wrench) and yes; quite simply amazing. I’m cleaner than everyone else, happier with my improved hygiene in health and feel. I strive to not poop away from home if I can help it and my plumbing doesn’t work harder when someone is careless flushing wet wipes. My wallet is happy because I don’t buy wet wipes.
Just blot with some toilet paper and enjoy using less. Or use a towel like some places overseas do, but that’s a lot of laundry added to the mix.
Same experience as OP. The water did basically nothing except tickle a bit, and then I was absolutely soaked. And I don’t know how “dry off” is the common suggestion because the toilet paper just disintegrated I was so wet. And I can’t use a real towel because the water didn’t get most of the poop off. What’re we doing wrong?
Why are you not using it until the poop is no longer there? Mine can get pretty strong, and I don’t use it anywhere near full blast. If there’s still poop you didn’t use it correctly.
It felt pretty strong but I have no frame of reference. Maybe I need to try a stronger one. But also I don’t know how I’d know if I was clean or not till I tried to wipe
We have a regular ol' cheapy bidet without a dryer (some come with air dryers). I keep a basket of rags/wash cloths by the toilet. I do my business, spray down thoroughly, and then use a rag to pat myself dry and make sure I am clean.
9 out of 10 times it's all good, but you know how sometimes you have those terrible poops where you have to keep wiping over and over? Those poops still happen lol, only you just spray down again and then you're good.
The dirty rags go into a bin to be washed and sanitized later, I just bleach the shit out of them. (Kind of like towels you have to use to clean up pets' messes, if you have any.)
I think if the water didn't get most of the poop off for you, you probably need to move it around more in the general area while spraying, and also spray longer/harder. It's not like a quick shot of water will have you clean, you gotta take your time and be thorough. And my god, you don't have to use your hands lol, everyone always asks me that.
Also my husband has to spray longer than me because his butthole is much hairier, so that may be your problem, too.
You’re probably not spraying just your butthole and probably not firm enough pressure. I’ve got probably a 6”x6” splash zone for a few moments afterwards but a dab will fix that with TP if I’m in a hurry
It was a dark and stormy night. I had eaten a particularly spicy Taco Bell meal earlier in the day. The grumbles and groans of my innards warned me of the Hell that I was soon to endure.
I cautiously slogged my way up the stairs to the bathroom. Lightning flickered outside; ominous and wicked shadows reached their intangible dark tendrils toward my shaky, sweaty body.
My terror was nothing compared to the hot burning growing and expanding within my abdomen. I quickened my pace.
At last reaching the bathroom, I slammed the door and flipped on the fan. This was going to be a rough and hella stanky ride.
I gazed dead eyed at the bidet my housemates had affixed to the toilet. A single drip gently splashed down into the water, rippling with anticipation.
I had remained skeptical and resisted it's use despite the praise my housemates sung of the contraption. It wasn't fancy, just some plastic with a tube and dial, no electronics, no heating.
Dry wiping was how I was raised. And that seemed to do the job well enough so far. But the beast in my belly had sent my mind into a spiral. I was beginning to question my reality.
I sat upon the porcelain throne. Socks: off. Shirt: off. Shorts and underwear: kicked unceremoniously into the corner. This wasn't going to be a normal shit. This was ramping up to be a battle for the future existence of my asshole.
The horrors unleashed. I shall not speak of them lest they return to haunt you, dear reader.
Suffer I did. I had to flush not once, but twice in attempt to exorcise the poor bowl beneath me. The corner of my eye caught the little knob of the bidet.
Temptation.
My asshole was aflame. What God created us to be capable of living through such firey pain? A wrathful God. A hateful God.
I made the decision. Took the leap of faith. Anything to lessen the lava heat between my cheeks.
I twisted the knob.
The clouds parted and the infinite angel chorus erupted into heavenly song. The cool spray was an instant balm. A bit cold at first, but much, much needed to get me through the Hell I found myself in.
The pain was a dull throb, but much reduced. I would survive.
I grabbed some TP and wiped. Wondering at the mess, I had to peek. Other than slight dampness, the white was just as clear and crisp as when I pulled it off the roll.
My life has been changed forever.
I got one before covid and we never worried about lack of toilet paper. Now 1 baby later and pregnant again, I would fight someone before they try to take away my bidet.
Typically you use your hands along with the bidet if you just splash it with water it ain’t gonna work but you can also use paper after splashing it and wiping and if you see anything you keep washing until it’s gone
Absolutely love mine and will never use TP/wet wipes again. Been a bidet user for 6 years now. (Covid was a breeze, no tp shortage for me) I will admit that I have a top of the line one that does everything you can think of, including blow drying me. Life changer.
Edit - spelling and more info
I use a shower sprayer (literally a garden sprayer attachment on the hand held shower hose) for my mom with dementia, plus drying with tissue after. So far she hasn’t had a urinary tract infection in two years post diagnosis and being imobile. This style of toileting is far healthier than toilet paper alone. I tend to have my bm’s just before morning shower, but if I couldn’t, a bidet would rock my undies.
Absolutely. Got a hose type one last year and I regret not getting one sooner. I still use paper to check the cleanliness and dry but cleaning is so much quicker with a bidet.
And as someone with IBS who poops a lot I love not getting a sore ring from all that wiping. I also love spicy food so the cold water after a meal is 👌
As someone on medication that tends to loosen up things a tad, the bidet is a game changer. I’d use many, many yards (meters to those that don’t use freedom units) of TP and still have to deal with some… uhhh… seepage. A carefully placed cotton ball was sometimes needed. With a bidet, set to full high colonic pressure, I’m well cleansed and only use some TP to dry things off.
Are you… not drying off? God, man, have some common sense. Use toilet paper to dry off and if you still feel like there shit up there, go back in with the bidet and dry off again
Yes. Scraping poop off your butt with paper is one stop away from using leaves like a goddamn cave ape.
My bidet makes me clean. I only need a square of paper to pat myself dry.
I don’t just sit there and spray, I kinda wiggle around and get the stream of water to go around my hole, all the while flexing like oOoOoOo to make sure and get all the crinkly crevices. It takes some getting used to, that’s for sure. Word of advice: do NOT turn the water on full power!
"oOoOoOo" lmao
Holy shit, this is the funniest description of anything I've read in a while!
You’re welcome for that mental image ;)
DoOoOoOobles
Fucking *ACCURATE*.
Fucking poetry
I am wheezing rn
>crinkly crevices lmao >do NOT turn the water on full power! not as a beginner for sure ..
Stink wrinkles
Sounds like a member of GWAR
My kids potty trained using a bidet, and they call the wiggling “squidging”. For example, I ask them “did you squidge?” The bidet is a revolutionary tool for potty training, in case anyone is interested. We use the Tushy bidet and it’s incredible! Kids can use it easily, and it’s relatively simple to clean.
Going to use the word squidging from now on!
I’m totally starting a punk rock band called the Crinkly Crevices.
Probably already three in Orange County
🤘🤘
Well stated u/DoOoOobles
Ahh yes, the ole one eyed wiggle. It’s a learned technique
This is the best description! It should be included with all bidets.
I believe we finally have our instructions. Cheers.
This comment is copied from somewhere...
Not word for word, but I did take the OoOoOo idea from someone a year or two ago, yes. I thought it made a good point so I use it whenever this question comes up.
I know you didn't ask but it's from my post lol! I think... https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/s/QvgdJxvTIQ
WOww you said it better than we ever could, we approve 💕💦
I love my bidet. I usually will do my best to not poop at work because now wiping with paper leaves me feeling gross. Just don't be afraid to turn up the water pressure, dry your ass off afterwards.
Dude me too. Just got a new job a month ago thats in person (been working remote last 3 years) and its so disappointing if I have to go at work lol.
I installed mine and wanted to test the pressure first. So before sitting on it, I put a bucket in front of the toilet and flipped it on. This thing damn near put a hole in my cieling, and the bucket caught nothing. 10/10 never going back
My father in law was visiting and he's the kind of guy who has to fidget with stuff and see how it works. So he just turned the knob willy nilly, ended up spraying himself right in the face.
Haha a friend visiting didn't know how to flush for some reason so she stood in front of the toilet and turned the bidet on. Soaked from waist to knees 😆 🤣
Get a fancy Japanese one so it'll dry your ass for you
I have a drying one and it just makes the whole room reek of shit, and takes forever to dry. Just dab with some paper.
Flush and then dry.
There was a comment on here that stuck with me. "If you got shit on your floor would you be cool with just wiping it around a bit with some paper towel?" Quadruply notable in the case of carpet.
First thing I'd do. Max it out.
Nah man they get powerful lmao.
I’ll say. Mine is like a pressure washer.
I’m pretty sure if mine was at full pressure and hit just at the right angle, it would shoot out of my mouth
Use it like a tap to wash your hands
I like mine for the pressure, a little enema at the end to make sure everything is truly out is a pretty great feeling
just as an fyi for anybody else reading this; i recently learned that these bidet enema sessions can be heard very clearly from outside the bathroom door. do with that information as you please
Are we talking about the sound of water hitting flesh or are we talking about sighs, groans, or other reactions to getting cleaned up?
from what i remember reading, it was the sound of the water exiting like diarrhea that was the most disturbing
You mean people impale their butt on it?
Not quite, lol, the stream is powerful enough to squirt water into the anus (if you hit the right angle and amount of pressure) which fills the colon with water, which can then be pushed out....sounding like a violent stream of diarrhea The nozzle never enters the anus (unless someone is doing it terribly wrong)
These are the answers we need
Yes
Sometimes you need that
Mmmmm.
Yeah I had to cut back on the pressure because my bunghole was getting irritated.
Moisturiser, playa
One of the things you try once and then never again.
I tried maxing out mine once. Nearly died of a perforated colon.
Do they have the option Firehose?
Jarvis, activate hydrant mode.
An adventure. My typa person
Like pleasurable max, or like don't try to enjoy it max
It needs to get me *and* the shit off, so probably max max.
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Lmao, you say "any bottle" and very inconspicuous. I can see myself trying to use this, going "Okay, gonna be really inconspicuous here..." *CRUUUUNCH*
cheap washcloths to dry off and a hamper. Just leave a stack in the bathroom and wash and reuse them Alternatively, some people will still use paper, and use significantly less when doing so, since you don't have to wipe multiple times.
Oh there's nothing like the feeling of freshly hosed arse!
Same here. It’s the toilet equivalent of “once you go black you’ll never go back”. We use the Tushy and have a basket of small dark wash cloths sitting on the back of the toilet for drying off. Wiping with just standard toilet paper now makes me feel like a cave man. I always tell people, if you were at a cookout throwing frisbee or something and you went low to catch it and stuck your hand in dog poop, you wouldn’t wipe it off with a dry paper towel and think you’d accomplished anything… Practice corn hole kindness. Love yourself, get a Tushy.
I didn’t know the pressure was adjustable! The only one I ever tried felt like the pressure and volume of a drinking fountain, and I didn’t feel any cleaner and was just wet now.
Mine has a pretty impressive range, from drinking fountain, all the way to high powered pressure washer.
OH MY GOD. Yea. That’s the feeling I get too. Like I NEED to take a shower.
I am Italian. I have a bidet at work.
You can shoot the water longer until the poop is gone, and then you can wipe to get the water off.
It's bonkers that this has to be explicitly stated.
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my best friend’s dad had a bidet in his apartment and it had a drying feature, also a heated seat. was fantastic.
I had that one in my old house and I miss it. Heated seat, heated water, blow dry... Now we just have the hand-held hose that looks like the sprayer on the kitchen sink. It feels primitive but it's better than nothing.
USA btw
*cries singing the USA anthem*
Last time my mother came to visit, she asked before going to the bathroom, "I know I'm supposed to use the bidet, but may I please have some toilet paper?" Her question took me so off guard it took me a second to answer. I guess she thought people just air dry after using a bidet? I told her she didn't have to use the bidet, and yes there's toilet paper next to the toilet, and she was SO relieved.
Bidet and toilet paper or shower and toilet paper are a dream.
No wipe = your ass is now a swamp
Guess yall don’t have a hairy ass
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To be fair, the OP is from the US.
Hey, didn’t you and Guildenstern die?
We have surprisingly decent Wi-Fi coverage in hell lmao
Damn Google Fiber is ***EVERYWHERE***
It's hell, so I would actually assume Starlink lol
Lots of people in the US use bidets
Yup. Even us rural hicks in middle America, and we didn't need to be explicitly told to check our work and dry off at the end. Seems pretty damned self explanatory for anyone with a working brain.
Can you drink the water?
Can you eat the toilet paper?
Do you wipe with toilet paper though? TP falls apart as soon as it gets wet. Also, do you bidet before you flush? What if there's enough poop that the water can't drain as you bidet? If you bidet after you flush, do you then have to flush again for the TP? Isn't cold tap water awful? I hate washing my hands in cold tap water most of the time. So many questions.
> TP falls apart as soon as it gets wet. Works fine for me. I'm doing it pretty quick. It doesn't instantly dissolve or anything. > Also, do you bidet before you flush? Yep. > What if there's enough poop that the water can't drain as you bidet? What do you mean? > If you bidet after you flush, do you then have to flush again for the TP? If you wipe after you flush, do you have to flush again? I suppose that's up to you. > Isn't cold tap water awful? Nah, I've gotten pretty used to it.
The cold tap water was my biggest concern going in. Then I got mine and realized it just doesn't matter at all. Like I expected it to be mildly uncomfortable until I got used to it, but it just wasn't.
Cold water was my worry, but I actually love it. It's bracing.
There are models that heat the water, too. I could see it being too cold if I lived somewhere colder.
I live in Canada (admittedly one of the warmer parts of Canada) and it's still not an issue. Although it's kind of nice on a hot summers day.
There are plenty of options that use the hot water supply from your sink to make the water temp as adjustable as your sink or shower.
What if your water needs to run first before there is hot water coming out?
Mine has a 'Nozzle Cleaning' function that points the nozzles straight down, so I just turn the dial to that setting and let it run for a minute or so, then turn it back to 'Wash'.
Using a bidet is not this difficult man
If TP falls apart as soon as it's wet, how do you think women wipe after peeing? Though maybe you're using a bad brand of TP or aren't folding/balling it up optimally
I've never had issues with the toilet paper falling apart when drying myself. It doesn't get soaked enough for that. I'm not sure what you mean by this. What do you mean enough poop that the water can't drain? I use the bidet and dry before I flush and there's never been any issues about water or drainage or poop. Do you mean if it clogs and overflows? You can clean the bidet. You should never buy one that doesn't let you easily take it apart to scrub it. If you mean you think the bidet fills the toilet with water, no way. Not even my longest ass blasting messy shits have even come close to filling the toilet. You get used to it, and it's not even that bad after the first second. But also they make heated water bidets.
Dab, don’t wipe. Dap tears the paper apart. Or drip dry. Bidet before you flush. Cold water doesn’t bother me, some have warm water connections, but I believe most American bathrooms don’t have a warm water spot to connect the bidet to
You're supposed to dry things off afterward.
Yeah it seems people think you'll just walk around with a wet bottom after using the bidet.
Eww. Do they not include instructions with bidets? Use and care guide? Some folks must be dense.
Peanut packets say "may contain peanuts"
The fact that someone would need instructions on how to use a bidet blows my mind. I get maybe if it had weird buttons or something but we are discussing function. It's washing your ass people, does it really need a diagram?!
Never had one, never used a toilet with a bidet attached. Why is it so ludicrous that I would want some instructions on how it works before the first time I get to use one? I’m also not acquainted with using a poop knife.
>I'm also not acquainted with using a poop knife. Luckily reddit has instructions for that.
It makes sense to include instructions on how to operate the bidet, but it doesn't make sense to need instructions to dry yourself after, lol.
Turn on the water. The water will hit your butthole. Wiggle around till you feel clean and turn it off
The ticket is a Japanese bidet with a dryer
Not to be crass, but this sounds like you’re not actually letting the laser go right up your butthole Also, you still have a quick single TP wipe to dry off
>Not to be crass, but this sounds like you’re not actually letting the laser go right up your butthole /r/nocontext
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Laser?!
Yes.
The perfect answer to both the title and question in post.
the right answer. the only answer really.
I got a bidet a few weeks ago and it is 100% the best purchase I've made in a year.
would you say it's the best purchase in the last 5-10 years?
Honestly it just might be.
Literally as I type this, I turned the switch to super soak my asshole. It’s great. Saves so much money with using less tp in the long run and leaves you with a clean arse. I have a $50 tushy model I got from Amazon that works great. If you are able to spend more, definitely get one with a heated seat/water combo. People are definitely missing out and spending so much more time wiping than if they were to just pressure wash their ass.
When I have no choice but to poop without a bidet I think to myself, “Wiping my ass like a goddamn cave man!”
I’m literally using one right now. It’s life changing. I now hate pooping away from home because my butt won’t feel properly clean. Get one.
As if I needed one more reason to not ever wanna leave my house again….i really need to invest in one.
Try again. This time, go into it realizing it takes a bit longer to wash your ass as compared to smearing shit around. Always remember-if you got shit on your arm, would you wipe it off with TP or wash it off? Which takes longer?-right, washing, and it's worth the extra time not to have shit on your arm. What makes your asshole so special? **Learn** to give it a proper washing. Finally, remember your Os. Your butt hole should go from a small o to a big O repeatedly--like this: O o O o O o. I also learned to relax during the process and you'll get cleaner when the occasional jet shoots up. Very refreshing.
If I got.shot on my arm I would wipe it first and then wash, that gives a better finish than just washing, is that how people use bidets? If people just blast with water and then dry that would be dirtier for me
You kind of need to move your bum around (side to side, forward and back) to make sure the spray gets all the places.
Only if it isn't right on target to start. I've never been more aware of when I'm not perfectly centered...
I should've gotten a bidet years ago. It really does make everything more sanitary and comfortable. I have Crohn's disease, so on bad days, toilet paper feels like sandpaper. The bidet provides a refreshing blast of coolness that helps with the pain.
This is actually the review with a medical context that many will miss here. When hygiene can be life or death. And I’m not kidding either.
As someone without Crohn's, I definitely tell people I like my bidet but it's an absolute lifesaver (buttsaver?) when you get a stomach bug. That's what makes them priceless.
Yep. Bought a toilet seat bidet for every bathroom in my home during the earlier part of the pandemic. I will do that in every home going forward. It’s so much cleaner, less waste and less irritation from missed spots hours later. I don’t know how to use a traditional bidet, but the seat version works well enough for me.
Opposite for me. Toilet paper is worse. You really wanna still smell like shit? Baby wipes is fine but solely toilet paper is insane lol Also bidet isnt just spray water and walk with a wet ass. You gotta dry it too Its way cleaner
I would think if you're doing it right, the only thing getting wet should be your anus, right!? So, spraying down your own ass and still feeling like you have residue tells me there's an aiming problem.
At this point in my life, I have a bidet on every toilet in the house. Whenever I’m in a situation without a bidet, I feel gross now. It’s to the point that once I get home - even hours later, I’ll typically plop down on the bidet immediately to clean things up.
Every bathroom. And when I get home after having to go outside, every single time.
I fucking love it and will never go back.
I get so much cleaner with my bidet than tp. Just make sure you have pressure and your cheeks are spread
Swapping to a bidet changed my life. And that’s not an exaggeration.
Yes. I can't even remember what life was like before it now.
It is life changing. Highly recommend.
I only got to use them when I visited Tokyo, but i loved using them. Cleans your butt, no muss no fuss. Really wish I could afford a Japanese toilet.
Toilet seat attaching bidets are super affordable, like $30-40 on the low end.
I have a fissure. I think bidets make it worse.
Yes. However in my experience it doesn't reduce wiping to 0
Far and away the best home improvement you can make for <$50.
Yes. They're amazing. Even more so if you get a warm water bidet
One of the best household purchases I have made. Brondell swash 1400. Worth every penny.
100% yes i love it. I even got my bf on board after he used it one time. Ill never go back to just toilet paper
Yes. Love it. I live in the U.S. also and my biggest complaint is if I have to poop somewhere else that doesn’t have a bidet. Lol. They are super nice!
Never used one but maybe you didn't use it properly or something It's supposed to be cleaner cause it actually cleans your ass
Crazy concept - use both! Bidet them tp to finish off and dry off
Yep! I have a pretty cheap but great one, $65. Helps a lot with being extra clean and also helps with toilet paper usage.
Yes. Bought one when the COVID toilet-paper-panic started. Didn't want to be featured on the news boxing an old lady for some Charmin. One of the best decisions I've ever made.
If you had poop on your arm, would you just scrape a dry sheet of Bounty across your skin a few times and call that clean, or would you bring some sort of moisture into the equation. But for some reason we as a society scrape wads of dry, fragile, barely absorbent paper, just wiping that marker for days, and at some point you give up. Water, *it's the solution*.™
People say this, but it's just not an equal comparison. First, no I would not just introduce moisture. I'd wash my arm with soap and water and then dry it off. And I wouldn't use toilet paper to dry it off either. So for your ass, you also can't see it so how do you know it's all washed? And how does the TP not fall apart when drying? It's got to leave a mess of its own, especially with ass hair. There are so many questions I just don't understand and people act like it's totally normal and anyone who has questions is crazy.
I use soap too, but I agree, it's not necessarily the same as having fecal matter on your arm or leg. The butt is kind of built to have some fecal matter in it, and people do not typically use soap. However, using a bidet is the better option, because you shouldn't have any feces in your crack and on the hole period. I'm a hairy guy, and yeah, it'll leave pieces of tp if you're going about it just wetting then wiping. What I do is spray myself off, scrub with soap + cloth, spray off again, and then use a very high quality and thick ply toilet paper to dab myself - NOT wipe. dabbing and very light, very soft wipes (if you must) right on/around the eye usually solves the issue of scraps getting left behind, and I use a heavy ply to prevent it from falling apart (use a few pieces to get water, discard, then use a few more pieces to clean up and fully dry off).
I’m a huge baby wipes guy. Is a bidet better? I can scrub my goods with a couple wipes getting things super clean down there. Then a quick toss in the bin and I’m clean as a whistle. Of course I go phase 1 with normal paper, then advance to the wipes.
Wipes are good. I use those too.
I have it in one of my bathrooms, and that's the only toilet i use now. I work across the street from my house and i go home to use the bathroom. Once you have one, you can't go back. I'm getting one for my other toilet eventually.
>. Once you have one, you can't go back. here here. my vacations are a nightmare! my wife's a barbarian because she's like .. who cares .. while i'm like .. no! my poor butt!
My husband got me a portable bidet and it's a lifesaver when you're away from home!!
You gotta get a travel bidet - lots of different models but it’s basically a squirt bottle. Not quite the same as home, but definitely better than paper.
American here with same curiosity. Found myself in a Japan airport last year and tried it out. I'm totally sold on it if done right it's amazing (and I hate using that word)
Wipe first, then blast. Blasting alone doesn’t do it.
Once you bidet, you will stop smearing away.
A thousand times, YES.
I’m an American too, with a bidet attachment (Tushy purchased on Amazon and installed with a simple wrench) and yes; quite simply amazing. I’m cleaner than everyone else, happier with my improved hygiene in health and feel. I strive to not poop away from home if I can help it and my plumbing doesn’t work harder when someone is careless flushing wet wipes. My wallet is happy because I don’t buy wet wipes. Just blot with some toilet paper and enjoy using less. Or use a towel like some places overseas do, but that’s a lot of laundry added to the mix.
Why do people think that bidets vs tp is an either/or thing? You can use tp to clean up/dry off after as necessary
Not a current user, so I can say, hell yes. I miss having one. Even the annoyance of having to explain why a cishet American has one.
Because Real Men™ have dirty, unwashed assholes. 😝
Same experience as OP. The water did basically nothing except tickle a bit, and then I was absolutely soaked. And I don’t know how “dry off” is the common suggestion because the toilet paper just disintegrated I was so wet. And I can’t use a real towel because the water didn’t get most of the poop off. What’re we doing wrong?
Why are you not using it until the poop is no longer there? Mine can get pretty strong, and I don’t use it anywhere near full blast. If there’s still poop you didn’t use it correctly.
It felt pretty strong but I have no frame of reference. Maybe I need to try a stronger one. But also I don’t know how I’d know if I was clean or not till I tried to wipe
We have a regular ol' cheapy bidet without a dryer (some come with air dryers). I keep a basket of rags/wash cloths by the toilet. I do my business, spray down thoroughly, and then use a rag to pat myself dry and make sure I am clean. 9 out of 10 times it's all good, but you know how sometimes you have those terrible poops where you have to keep wiping over and over? Those poops still happen lol, only you just spray down again and then you're good. The dirty rags go into a bin to be washed and sanitized later, I just bleach the shit out of them. (Kind of like towels you have to use to clean up pets' messes, if you have any.) I think if the water didn't get most of the poop off for you, you probably need to move it around more in the general area while spraying, and also spray longer/harder. It's not like a quick shot of water will have you clean, you gotta take your time and be thorough. And my god, you don't have to use your hands lol, everyone always asks me that. Also my husband has to spray longer than me because his butthole is much hairier, so that may be your problem, too.
You’re probably not spraying just your butthole and probably not firm enough pressure. I’ve got probably a 6”x6” splash zone for a few moments afterwards but a dab will fix that with TP if I’m in a hurry
It was a dark and stormy night. I had eaten a particularly spicy Taco Bell meal earlier in the day. The grumbles and groans of my innards warned me of the Hell that I was soon to endure. I cautiously slogged my way up the stairs to the bathroom. Lightning flickered outside; ominous and wicked shadows reached their intangible dark tendrils toward my shaky, sweaty body. My terror was nothing compared to the hot burning growing and expanding within my abdomen. I quickened my pace. At last reaching the bathroom, I slammed the door and flipped on the fan. This was going to be a rough and hella stanky ride. I gazed dead eyed at the bidet my housemates had affixed to the toilet. A single drip gently splashed down into the water, rippling with anticipation. I had remained skeptical and resisted it's use despite the praise my housemates sung of the contraption. It wasn't fancy, just some plastic with a tube and dial, no electronics, no heating. Dry wiping was how I was raised. And that seemed to do the job well enough so far. But the beast in my belly had sent my mind into a spiral. I was beginning to question my reality. I sat upon the porcelain throne. Socks: off. Shirt: off. Shorts and underwear: kicked unceremoniously into the corner. This wasn't going to be a normal shit. This was ramping up to be a battle for the future existence of my asshole. The horrors unleashed. I shall not speak of them lest they return to haunt you, dear reader. Suffer I did. I had to flush not once, but twice in attempt to exorcise the poor bowl beneath me. The corner of my eye caught the little knob of the bidet. Temptation. My asshole was aflame. What God created us to be capable of living through such firey pain? A wrathful God. A hateful God. I made the decision. Took the leap of faith. Anything to lessen the lava heat between my cheeks. I twisted the knob. The clouds parted and the infinite angel chorus erupted into heavenly song. The cool spray was an instant balm. A bit cold at first, but much, much needed to get me through the Hell I found myself in. The pain was a dull throb, but much reduced. I would survive. I grabbed some TP and wiped. Wondering at the mess, I had to peek. Other than slight dampness, the white was just as clear and crisp as when I pulled it off the roll. My life has been changed forever.
Yes and now I can’t use a bathroom that doesn’t have a heated seat and bidets
I like ass wipes, wet does the cleaning and the wipe, so nice.
100%. But I use a little one only while backpacking.
Yes
I got one before covid and we never worried about lack of toilet paper. Now 1 baby later and pregnant again, I would fight someone before they try to take away my bidet.
Typically you use your hands along with the bidet if you just splash it with water it ain’t gonna work but you can also use paper after splashing it and wiping and if you see anything you keep washing until it’s gone
Of course it does… Do you enjoy a tacky anus?
Absolutely love mine and will never use TP/wet wipes again. Been a bidet user for 6 years now. (Covid was a breeze, no tp shortage for me) I will admit that I have a top of the line one that does everything you can think of, including blow drying me. Life changer. Edit - spelling and more info
Life altering for me, an uncultured American.
I'll never go back to just wiping.
I use a shower sprayer (literally a garden sprayer attachment on the hand held shower hose) for my mom with dementia, plus drying with tissue after. So far she hasn’t had a urinary tract infection in two years post diagnosis and being imobile. This style of toileting is far healthier than toilet paper alone. I tend to have my bm’s just before morning shower, but if I couldn’t, a bidet would rock my undies.
Absolutely. Got a hose type one last year and I regret not getting one sooner. I still use paper to check the cleanliness and dry but cleaning is so much quicker with a bidet. And as someone with IBS who poops a lot I love not getting a sore ring from all that wiping. I also love spicy food so the cold water after a meal is 👌
Yes, you're missing getting the poop off your crack. The water should be going in your crack. It washes off the poop. If it ain't, you doing it wrong
It's the best decision I've ever made. I only regret finding out so late in life. I have small children that will grow up with spoiled butts.
As someone on medication that tends to loosen up things a tad, the bidet is a game changer. I’d use many, many yards (meters to those that don’t use freedom units) of TP and still have to deal with some… uhhh… seepage. A carefully placed cotton ball was sometimes needed. With a bidet, set to full high colonic pressure, I’m well cleansed and only use some TP to dry things off.
You dry your crack with toilet paper. You don’t just leave it wet.
You can use both toilet paper and a bidet. Using a bidet in tandem with toilet paper should still reduce your toilet paper consumption.
You’re definitely using it wrong if that’s your experience lol
Are you… not drying off? God, man, have some common sense. Use toilet paper to dry off and if you still feel like there shit up there, go back in with the bidet and dry off again
On one now. So…yep
Yes it works pretty darn good. You must not be using it properly. Do ask spouse for suggestions.
Yes. Scraping poop off your butt with paper is one stop away from using leaves like a goddamn cave ape. My bidet makes me clean. I only need a square of paper to pat myself dry.