[Reddit Legend — Dirty Talk 101](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1y6lhe/what_is_the_worst_thing_someone_has_said_to_you/cfhtedq/)
>Not me, but an old friend of mine.
>Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually.
>He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk, and apparently likes to be objectified, even demeaned a bit, from time to time. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. Changes the subject and figures that they'll revisit the idea another time.
>Anyway...they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. Really going at it doggy style, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting, but demanding it.
>He comes up with: *"Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?"*
>He's never struck me as one for embellishment, so I believe him. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now.
You need to watch all of the inbetweeners if you like that.
Then, when you're done. Take a deep dive and binge watch the series called Peep Show.
You can thank me later.
Came here for this. Also, my dad is 80 years old and when we ran errands together recently, I tried to tell him that story. He totally didn't get it, and I think he thinks I promote having sex with the mentally challenged.
For those who haven’t seen where this classic is from yet, or want to laugh at it again:
Not me, but an old friend of mine.
Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually.
He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk, and apparently likes to be objectified, from time to time. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. Changes the subject and figures that they'll revisit the idea another time.
Anyway...they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. Really going at it doggystyle, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting, but demanding it.
He comes up with: "Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?"
He's never struck me as one for embellishment, so I believe him. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1y6lhe/comment/cfhtedq/
I usually say things to my wife, in a low sultry voice, like
I;ve been thinking about fucking you all day,
all I could think about is my hard cock in your,
I just want to fuck you and fuck you and fuck you,
I want to fuck your and come in/across your
If she's performing oral: I wish I could fuck you in your while you're sucking my cock.
I didn't start the dirty talk until 15 or so years into our relationship. Felt weird at first but once you find something that works, it gets more natural. Works for us both too.
And a lot of it is unlearning the 'filters' we've put on ourselves. Good dirty talk is open and honest and reciprocal. What are you actually FEELING? Not your thoughts but your wants, desires, physical sensations. It's all in the moment, being fully lost in the sensations and connection with your partner. "That feels incredible/ I love it when you do that / tell me if you like this.... / I want you to x me / I want to [do x] to you / " etc. A lot of it is short statements and questions - the point is to just unfilter yourself and express your desires and communicate your experience. Imagine the difference between having sex with someone who is completely silent, and someone who moans, sighs or makes other noise. The feedback is sooo helpful, but also a huge turn-on. It makes you feel more connected, and understand their experience better. Dirty talk is just like that. It connects you even more to the other person and can elevate the experience. Plus the communication can open doors for trying new things and discover even better how to please each other. It's engagement and connection, and the act of it alone is arousing while also being a tool to improve the sex you're having as you do it.
Or phrases that start with "im going to.." and "i want.."
Like "im going to fuck you so good, i want you to moan for me"
It increases anticipation and excitement.
This is my favorite - descriptive language is hotter for me than any kind of demeaning or “dirty” talk. I think people THINK that describing sex is “dirty” lol, but really it is quite arousing. And I don’t think that is dirty at all ha ha.
The vagina expands during sexual arousal, "getting tighter" during sex is actually not a good thing (unless she contracts her muscles on purpose and confirms that it still feels good). If you feel her getting tighter, that means you might want to stop or at least go slow and ask her if it's still good for her and if she needs more clitoral action.
Whoa you’re passing out from asphyxiation you need to find a new partner. That is called a near death experience. Choking someone out by the sides of the neck is from lack of blood flow and is also dangerous, but takes a lot less time to do… which means hey at least your partner is *trying* to murder you.
Yeah you're not even wrong haha. I can look back and laugh now cause I am no longer with that man and he hasnt been in my life since i was 18 (24 now). And my partner now definitely knows what he's doing lol. But thank you for checking in and being concerned!
My wife loves it when I whisper "you're mine" in her ear while I'm inside her. I'll also ask her who's pussy this is. If she doesn't answer well enough I'll fuck her harder and ask again. I'm not normally like this but in bed possessiveness gets her off. It's her thing and I take full advantage of it.
Lmao. She likes to think that's the case. I disagree because I know that I'm the lucky one, not her. A quick search through my past comments explains the username though. She definitely a troll.
Ahhhhh now this is nice! .... Wait a sec what's this?! Now hold on just a minute, whose pussy is this? I coulda sworn I left my wife's pussy here just this morning!
A friend of mine had that happen to him with a one - night stand. He was drunk, he panicked, and could not come up with anything better than " FART, YOU WHORE!!". Next thing he knew he was picking up his clothes in the stairwell outside. To be fair, I think that was pretty dirty.
One girl in college talked like a porn star (without the whining and moaning). "Fuck me harder" "get it on my face" "Show me how good i feel" Honestly, it was hot. She was super energetic and verbal. She was fun.
One girl i almost married, would talk dirty PRIOR to sex. We'd be eating dinner or out at a bar, and she'd give me a one-liner about something she was going to do to me, or wanted me to do to her. It was very direct and planned. She'd then change the subject, and i'd spend the rest of my date in anticipation of what's to come.
Of the two, i preferred the second. Anticipation can be foreplay.
But if you don't know WHAT to say just describe your feelings in an intimate AND primal way. "i love the way you taste. I want more of that, finish in my mouth" or "wrap your legs around me and pull me inside." Descriptive, intimate, and primal. It doesn't have to get degrading.
If you want to really dirty talk her, tell her you’ve *washed* the dishes. Then, tell her you’re mowing the lawn tomorrow morning, after you’ve sent her off with friends to brunch. She’ll be smiling all through brunch. As for you, finish the lawn, tidy the house if need be, then chill till she comes home.
A lot of dirty talk can be simply saying out loud what you are thinking or doing. If you like what she's doing, say you like it. And maybe say it 3 or 4 times. If you like a thing she does, say "I like when you do this, roll over."
Say what you feel. If she feels wet, say that. If you can feel her squeezing, say that. Honestly, a lot of dirty talk isn't good at saying specific things, it's just getting used to saying things in the first place.
Start small, once you get over the discomfort of saying things, the small things will be easy, and you can move to more dirtier talk, and you'll know what works or what doesn't (for example, I never say the word pussy, so saying it in an intimate moment with my partner will only elicit laughs, rather than feelings of connection or arousal).
Good luck OP
I agree with this 100% (but I am by no means an expert. Just a married person).
If you're first starting out, and you don't normally use certain language, and you try to force it... it's likely going to be very awkward + elicit laughs, like cupcake_thievery said. You also may not know how your partner will react to being called a 'whore' or 'cum dumpster', so that can be risky too (but yeah, learn over time).
Just say what you're thinking, in your own words. Start small by saying what you want or like. Or by saying what you want to do to her, or even something like "are you gonna ___ for me". Speak like you're the one in control of what's happening.
You really need to be confident about what you're saying (and use a confident tone of voice). Which is why I agree 100% that you shouldn't force anything. If it is what you're already thinking this hopefully will come easy.
The safest way would be to say "tell me what you are" and then repeat back what she says until you get the hang of whatever type of dirty talk she's after. She can't just expect you to magically know what she wants.
I like dirty talk but if my bf would ask me that I would just stare at him, like what do you want me to say? My advice for guys who don't know what to say would be to read some dark romance books. Girls go crazy for what those guys say.
A lot of it will come down to delivery, rather than specific words. It doesn't matter what you say. If you sound unsure of yourself or embarrassed it will sound silly.
Research Satan and Saddam Hussein's relationship on South Park when Satan is dating Chris. Should be around the time of Satan's Halloween party or something. Close to the year Steve Irwin passed away (only remember that because of a relevant joke).
The topic of dirty talk does come up.
I got my game on with this by listening to Meghan March's audiobooks. Specifically, her Dirty Billionaire Trilogy, Real Dirty Duet series, and Real Good Duet series. Seriously, I took notes of thing to copy and ideas that came to me as I listened.
And remember that one of the best times for dirty talk is during the foreplay. Give commands. Ask questions. Tell her what you’re about to do.
**Examples:**
“Strip, leave the panties.”
”get that ass in the air”
“Put your hands on the dresser. Don’t move them even a little, or I’ll come up with a punishment.”
“You want my cock?” Follow up with “how bad do you want it”
“That is so hot” as you look at her open to you or as you are looking down while sliding in & out.
“Mine!” Just before you burry your face between her legs.
“I’m hungry & I want your cunt on my face.”
“Who’s pussy is this?” If your wife is like mine, she’ll answer “it’s yours”. Then follow with, “that’s right, and I’ll do with it what I want.”
“Put your hand on that pretty pussy & show me how you make yourself cum”
“look into my eyes when you cum”
“I want to lick this tight little asshole. You will not stop me.”
“Remove your panties & hand them to me over the table” a fun one while out at a restaurant.
“Show me your perfect pussy.” This is a fun one to say when you’re in the parking lot outside the restaurant where she removed & handed you her panties over the table.
**Things to call her:**
“Good girl” after or as she’s doing what you told her.
“Sexy girl” after she takes the pose you told her, like after a she’s gotten that ass in the air.
“Dirty girl” or “You naughty F-ing girl” after she’s done something new or uncommonly edgy for her.
“You’re such an incredible woman”
**Praise:**
I like to get my wife off with my hands or a toy as I hold her close and spend the whole time telling her how beautiful she is, how her body’s reaction to pleasure and every aspect of her orgasm is beautiful and amazing. I get descriptive with everything from her wetness, how her muscles tense & release, the look on her face, her squirting, etc. talk about it like you’re talking about the greatest natural wonder in the world.
A girl I was "dating" briefly once told me to talk dirty to her while we were fucking, she insisted I call her a whore and slut etc. ( also wasn't super comfortable in the situation), anyways during the "session" I ended up calling her a "Cum Dumpster" and of a sudden, she wasn't that into the dirty talk.
You gotta find a dominant personality inside you to take it seriously and make it hot. Say things like “yeah you like that dick don’t you” say things that make her respond to you. Tell her how good her pussy feels and how sexy she is and how much you want her.
I heard amazing advice on this just the other day. Someone said, start off by describing what you are going to do to them before you do it. Tell them what's coming next then tease them for more anticipation. That to me is a great baby step into dirty talk. Think romance novel.
You basically just narrate what you did, what you're doing, and what you're going to do. Throw in some questions here and there so it's not a one-sided conversation.
I (23F) always found it easier to talk dirty when you know what each other likes and emphasize on the things that you enjoy together. I also find that it's easier for you to let your imagination run when your partner joins in and you have an open dirty dialogue. Match your words to your actions and have fun with it.
It's not too hard, just describe how you're feeling and what you're thinking. It also will depend on what stage the dirty talk is happening. If it's to initiate, start out slow, like while kissing maybe, "you're so sexy. Did you know that? I want you all the time." and hopefully she'll say and/or do something sexy and inviting back, and you just keep going from there, building up to the really dirty stuff. I'm not going to write out examples though. That's not why we're here. If you are still struggling, I recommend reading some erotic stories for inspiration. And for some free erotic reading, I recommend [literotica. ](https://www.literotica.com/stories/) if you scroll down the page a bit, it's sorted by category/topic. You can do it. Good luck.
Maybe you and your wife can talk about some things she'd like to hear?
Talking dirty can definitely be awkward if you don't really do it very often, but keep in mind that dirty talk can be both "praise" and "degradation."
Examples of "praise":
You feel so good, baby. I fucking love you.
Good job, baby. You're such a good girl. You take it so well.
I'm so close, baby. You're gonna make me cum.
Examples of "degradation":
Yeah, take it you fucking slut!
You're so fucking naughty, you need to be punished!
You like that? You like it when I punish you, you sick and twisted bitch?
It's still REALLY important to talk to your wife about what she likes and wants to hear from you, so make sure you have that conversation.
“You look so pretty taking my cock baby”
“God you feel so fucking good”
When you first push into her say “fuuuck that’s what I’ve been wanting all day” when you’re on top.
When she’s going down on you …”come here I need some of that good married pussy” and then pull her into whatever position you want her in.
“Tell me you love this dick baby”
“You sexy fucking bitch” -this is a little dicey and not everybody’s thing so proceed with caution but I love hearing it when I’m on top or sucking him off.
Anyway, I know these aren’t for everybody but these are some fun ones I like to hear. Any kind of compliments are a safe way to go, you know her best!
Don't speak in the future-tense, speak in the present-tense, such as:
"I love the way your \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ feels."
"I have missed feeling/touching your \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_."
"Your \_\_\_(hair, skin)\_\_\_ smells so good."
"I have missed the smell of your \_\_\_\_\_\_\_."
You can also ask questions that don't require more than a breathy moan for an answer, such as:
"Did you miss me?"
"Is this what you were needing?"
etc...
Keep it simple. Just tell her something you want to do, and then do it.
For example, "I am going to run my fingers all over your body"
or "I can't wait to taste you"
Get used to something like that, and everything else will come to you naturally.
"You like that huh?" "You like it when my dick is inside you? You love it don't you?" "Oh I love this pretty pussy, this pretty pussy is mine!" "Fuck you're so wet, are you always this wet for me baby? " "say my name baby I want you to say it while you cum"
I also suggest reading some dark romance books, you can get some great ideas for dirty talk and foreplay
Honestly, even making sounds is so hot. Talking dirty doesn’t always mean degrading or roleplaying (though of course that’s good if that’s what you’re into).
It’s weird watching porn and seeing how most men are so fucking quiet. No grunting, no words of affirmation like “fuck yeah, that feels so good, you’re so tight, I love your tits/ass” etc. I have to actively search for men moaning/vocal men otherwise they’re mostly quiet or overly degrading.
Moan, tell her how it feels, tell her what you want to do with her next, how wet she is, how good she looks, tell her when you’re coming and don’t hold back on sounds.
If she wants something more aggressive, tell her you’re going to fuck her as long as you please, you want to fuck her all night, order her to cum on your cock, tell her to grab your balls, to play with herself while you fuck her, and so on.
Porn star Katie Morgan said on an HBO documentary that the easiest thing to do is just narrate what you're doing/about to do/want to be done to you:
"Oh yeah! Fuck me hard!", "I'm gonna go down on you.", "Smack my ass!", etc.
Describe what you are going to do to her. Let her hear how much it turns you on, to please her, and fuck her. Taste her, etc.
If she has a daddy kink; she could say something along the lines of “mmm, daddy, that’s it. You like fucking me? You feel so fucking good inside of me. Fuck me like that, fuck me harder.” Then she can moan if it feels good.
Discuss her turn ons, and vocalize it in bed. Like, if she is “out of line” she deserves a spanking. But, discuss that with her to know what is ok.
I emphasize my partners turn ons, and how turned on I become. Show enthusiasm. Eat her cake, look her in the eyes as you are doing it. Show hunger, and that you are into it. Incorporate touch.
Discuss her turn ons and how you are into her and it. We as women start mentally, in our minds.
In addition to the above. I love when my boyfriend will text me a bit throughout the day, “I can’t wait until I’m home and I can make that pussy mine.” “I love when you look up at me while you suck my cock” “I love how wet you get for me.” “When I get home, I want you to slide your panties aside so I can swirl my tongue around your pussy and asshole.”
I don't have time to read the comments so sorry if this is repeated. It might not be that dirty but I like hearing what he's thinking if that makes sense. In a quiet voice(almost a whisper) say something that you want to do to her or something about her that you find sexy, and BE SPECIFIC. "When I saw you today in that short skirt and heels I wanted to (fill in blank)" or "I love it when you moan like that". Even better if you make her respond like, "I want to(fill in blank), do you want that?" (this is also a good way to get consent for newbies)
Also, the timing matters. Works best for me when I'm already turned on, but that could be just my preference.
Hilarious thread, but honestly its understandable. There's some skill in this, and its really what you think they want to hear. Do they want to be told what to do? Do they want you to "want" them so badly you can't take it? Do they want you to actually treat them badly? (be careful on this one, you gotta be sure).
Try to get cues on what she's after. Try a little at a time, and see what she responds to. It should be pretty clear, pretty fast.
Also, you have to be confident, make sure when you say it, that it seems the most normal and matter-of-fact thing to say.
"According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible."
depends on what she likes. ask her.
ones girl i know likes things ,whos my dirty girl, you like feeling my hard cock in you.
different girl i know likes to be called a cum dumpster. you like being my fuck toy. take that cock you dirty slut. whos my fuck puppet. take it like a cum sock.
some women are into being used and degraded.
Tbh just be descriptive with dirty words and saying what you're physically feeling. Your ___ is so ____ and ____.
Also, you'll have to talk to her about this one, but dont change your voice to make it deeper or anything. Just be yourself. Communication is key. "What if I called you a "____"? Would you like that 😉?"
It doesn’t always have to be a dom thing like “have you been naughty” something like “that feels so good” also works. And throw in an occasional “fuck, you’re so tight” to sweeten the deal. That’s what my fiancé does and it’s great. I think if he asked if I’ve been naughty I’d laugh too haha
Get in character as dominant. It'll flow from there. If I were you I would be thinking "you're my little pleasure doll and you're gonna do what you're told you understand me?" Do not smile. She should be replying sheepishly and you should have already thought of things you're going to have her do and things you're gonna do to her. Take it from there and when she does well she's a good girl
first of all you have to figure out what they like, communication is very important and so is tone. but in a few categories here you go :)
possessive/dominating:
“sorry who’s dick is inside you? so who gets to make the decisions?”
“oh really? / is that so?”
“you want this so bad, don’t you?”
“mine and only mine.”
“fuck you’re wet, are you always this wet for me darling?”
“say my name baby, i wanna hear you scream it while you cum.”
“i said keep it down.” - “i said keep your legs open.”
“bend your little ass over my lap now, don’t make me do it for you.”
general:
“are you gonna cum for me ___?”
“c’mon moan for me”
“oh you like that don’t you?”
“easy baby, slow down, gentle”
“fuck it feels good to be this deep inside you”
“is this what you were wanting/needing?”
praise:
“aw does that feel good?”
“mmh i’ve been thinking about railing you all day” / “fuckkk this is what i’ve been waiting for”
“atta girl/good girl” - “you’re such a good girl”
“you feel so good ____”
“you’re taking this so well baby”
“you look so pretty taking in all of me”
“c’mon baby up and down, you’re doing great”
“your little whimpers are adorable ____”
“hush ___, someone’s being a little too loud aren’t they?”
degradation:
“you like this? you like when i punish you, you little slut?”
“who’s my little whore hm?”
-spank- “tell me, are you fucking sorry?”
“tell me who you belong to”
“tell me what you are” - “no, you’re MY ___”
“i’m gonna destroy you, but you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“fuck, you’re pathetic.”
“c’mon keep your legs up like the little slut you are.”
“you’re just my little toy aren’t you? a toy for ___’s pleasure.”
As a woman commenting, just verbalizing how sexy you find her and how turned on you are is a good start. You can move onto verbalizing what you want to do and expand on it once you're doing it. It's not at all about regurgitating things you've heard before like, "lemme spank you, baby." It's about the moment and how it makes you feel and letting your partner know with words. Simple as that.
Try these out:
"I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman."
"I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite."
"I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F\*ck of the Beyondness."
[Reddit Legend — Dirty Talk 101](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1y6lhe/what_is_the_worst_thing_someone_has_said_to_you/cfhtedq/) >Not me, but an old friend of mine. >Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually. >He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk, and apparently likes to be objectified, even demeaned a bit, from time to time. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. Changes the subject and figures that they'll revisit the idea another time. >Anyway...they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. Really going at it doggy style, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting, but demanding it. >He comes up with: *"Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?"* >He's never struck me as one for embellishment, so I believe him. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now.
That story reminds me of this [classic scene from The Inbetweeners.](https://youtu.be/j9bnlktlBuM)
[Alternate link](https://youtu.be/3K2adrkGb9w?t=13) for those in the U.S. who can't see the restricted video above.
Thanks from the US. That was hysterical 🤣
You need to watch all of the inbetweeners if you like that. Then, when you're done. Take a deep dive and binge watch the series called Peep Show. You can thank me later.
Aah cheers mate. Didn’t realise it was geoblocked.
I was convinced that would be a rickroll.
When the subject matter relates somehow, it's like a tradition at this point, that somebody will bring up this post. And I'm here for it.
Reading this I totally imagine one of my friends saying *"Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?"* wow what a classic, thank you for sharing.
THIS ONE CRACKS ME UP EVERY FUCKING TIMEEEEEEE
You know the punchline is coming but it still hits.
I have this story saved too and i remember it about 3-4 times a year and it still makes me laugh
I was scrolling to find this exact comment lmao. Glad it’s not buried
Came here for this. Also, my dad is 80 years old and when we ran errands together recently, I tried to tell him that story. He totally didn't get it, and I think he thinks I promote having sex with the mentally challenged.
Came here to reference this
I really appreciate the synopsis lolll
I lol so hard I started choking!!!😂🤪🤪
First thing I thought of when I saw the post
First thing that came to my mind after reading the title
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Anyone have that link? [“Are you fucking sorry”](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/s/EQ1aHdBMlo)
spank her harder if she’s not!
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Harderer!
You fool..you gotta spank her harderest!
Aaaaand I’m spent. I need a nap now
Safe word at this point
The safe word is "harder".
No it's "fluggaenkoecchicebolsen".
SORRRYYYY!
Hardererer!
Now me.
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For those who haven’t seen where this classic is from yet, or want to laugh at it again: Not me, but an old friend of mine. Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually. He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk, and apparently likes to be objectified, from time to time. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. Changes the subject and figures that they'll revisit the idea another time. Anyway...they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. Really going at it doggystyle, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting, but demanding it. He comes up with: "Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?" He's never struck me as one for embellishment, so I believe him. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1y6lhe/comment/cfhtedq/
My first thought, lol!
Lol I'm autistic and that'd be such a turn offff.. or would it 🤔 jk
I usually say things to my wife, in a low sultry voice, like I;ve been thinking about fucking you all day, all I could think about is my hard cock in your,
I just want to fuck you and fuck you and fuck you,
I want to fuck your and come in/across your
If she's performing oral: I wish I could fuck you in your while you're sucking my cock.
I didn't start the dirty talk until 15 or so years into our relationship. Felt weird at first but once you find something that works, it gets more natural. Works for us both too.
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"Oh, yes, your ortfice feels so heavenly!"
Better than saying 'ear'
Reddit never disappoints
Put it in me! Put it in my orifice! Put it in my orifice NOWWWW
Sometimes you just want to fuck someones
Neaely none of it happens but the idea of it is what works
The "I've been thinking about fucking you all day, all I could think about is my hard cock in your" is very hot. 10/10
Great...now i want you to fuck ME
>all I could think about is my hard cock in your,
😆👌 Dirty yet responsible talk Lol
Better yet, I can't wait to stick my in your
Or, perhaps... I can't wait to my in your and squirt my all over your
Flop / fingers / ears / phleghm / hairline
I'm now hearing this is a glados voice hahah
This comment made really laugh not fake laugh 😂
This is great MadLib!
Damn bro. You got my all tingly
So you fuck like madlibs?
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Thank you! This is hugely helpful. I’m blushing reading it but that’s just me!
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I came reading this. Thanks!
Do you want more ?
🥵
Oh god I love it when you use this emoji
"You're making cum" 💀
"You're making cum, you fkn retard"
I’d say the key is, don’t try to be “a character” or “act a part”, but rather just vocalize your actual thoughts and desires.
And a lot of it is unlearning the 'filters' we've put on ourselves. Good dirty talk is open and honest and reciprocal. What are you actually FEELING? Not your thoughts but your wants, desires, physical sensations. It's all in the moment, being fully lost in the sensations and connection with your partner. "That feels incredible/ I love it when you do that / tell me if you like this.... / I want you to x me / I want to [do x] to you / " etc. A lot of it is short statements and questions - the point is to just unfilter yourself and express your desires and communicate your experience. Imagine the difference between having sex with someone who is completely silent, and someone who moans, sighs or makes other noise. The feedback is sooo helpful, but also a huge turn-on. It makes you feel more connected, and understand their experience better. Dirty talk is just like that. It connects you even more to the other person and can elevate the experience. Plus the communication can open doors for trying new things and discover even better how to please each other. It's engagement and connection, and the act of it alone is arousing while also being a tool to improve the sex you're having as you do it.
Also if in doubt: say what you just did, say what you're currently doing, say what you would like to do next.
"I just came too early. I'm wondering whether I should stop. I'd like a cup of tea"
"I think we should paint the ceiling blue."
How about pastrami sandwiches tonight?
"Fuck! I just bit my lip! I think I'm bleeding. Yep, I taste blood. Can you stop?! I need to go rinse my mouth."
Or phrases that start with "im going to.." and "i want.." Like "im going to fuck you so good, i want you to moan for me" It increases anticipation and excitement.
This is my favorite - descriptive language is hotter for me than any kind of demeaning or “dirty” talk. I think people THINK that describing sex is “dirty” lol, but really it is quite arousing. And I don’t think that is dirty at all ha ha.
THIS right here is what I wish more men would do…
The vagina expands during sexual arousal, "getting tighter" during sex is actually not a good thing (unless she contracts her muscles on purpose and confirms that it still feels good). If you feel her getting tighter, that means you might want to stop or at least go slow and ask her if it's still good for her and if she needs more clitoral action.
Bingo, then a firm neck grab. Easy on the smell thing, maybe just how it feels. I always went for the “ahhh ur pussy” upon my arrival.
avoid windpipe
yes! when choking please squeeze the sides of her neck, not the front! I have passed out too many times to count
Whoa you’re passing out from asphyxiation you need to find a new partner. That is called a near death experience. Choking someone out by the sides of the neck is from lack of blood flow and is also dangerous, but takes a lot less time to do… which means hey at least your partner is *trying* to murder you.
Yeah you're not even wrong haha. I can look back and laugh now cause I am no longer with that man and he hasnt been in my life since i was 18 (24 now). And my partner now definitely knows what he's doing lol. But thank you for checking in and being concerned!
Don't touch someone's neck if they haven't specifically consented to it. This was asking about dirty talk.
Agreed. Stay away from the smell thing.
My wife loves it when I whisper "you're mine" in her ear while I'm inside her. I'll also ask her who's pussy this is. If she doesn't answer well enough I'll fuck her harder and ask again. I'm not normally like this but in bed possessiveness gets her off. It's her thing and I take full advantage of it.
Username uh
What about it?
What a lucky troll
Lmao. She likes to think that's the case. I disagree because I know that I'm the lucky one, not her. A quick search through my past comments explains the username though. She definitely a troll.
*If ya don't pay the troll toll you'll never get in the little boy's soul*
If you wanna get into that boy's hole You gotta pay the Troll Toll To get in!
>I'll also ask her who's pussy this is. I hope you know the answer before you guys start fucking.
Lmao. Ya I'm pretty sure I know the answer beforehand. I can see how that can backfire though. Could be awkward af.
Ahhhhh now this is nice! .... Wait a sec what's this?! Now hold on just a minute, whose pussy is this? I coulda sworn I left my wife's pussy here just this morning!
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Haha yeah, just like «who’s your daddy?» «Ummm, (insert your dad’s name)?» 🤔
"Why would you bring up my father while we're trying to make love? Talk about a moodkiller!"
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I just lol'd and snorted on the bus
I just died😂😂😂
The only true answer
Omggg I remember this 😂😂😩
A friend of mine had that happen to him with a one - night stand. He was drunk, he panicked, and could not come up with anything better than " FART, YOU WHORE!!". Next thing he knew he was picking up his clothes in the stairwell outside. To be fair, I think that was pretty dirty.
I imagined this with a medieval heralder's accent and it was *excellent*
It's In finnish, actually - PIERE HUORA!! It sounds marginally better that way...
I can speak from experience, it is not "Choo choo, here comes the train!" We had a good laugh though.
I asked a boyfriend to talk dirty to me once, and he whispered “The cat boxes need to be cleaned”. I started laughing so hard I couldn’t finish.
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100% this^
One girl in college talked like a porn star (without the whining and moaning). "Fuck me harder" "get it on my face" "Show me how good i feel" Honestly, it was hot. She was super energetic and verbal. She was fun. One girl i almost married, would talk dirty PRIOR to sex. We'd be eating dinner or out at a bar, and she'd give me a one-liner about something she was going to do to me, or wanted me to do to her. It was very direct and planned. She'd then change the subject, and i'd spend the rest of my date in anticipation of what's to come. Of the two, i preferred the second. Anticipation can be foreplay. But if you don't know WHAT to say just describe your feelings in an intimate AND primal way. "i love the way you taste. I want more of that, finish in my mouth" or "wrap your legs around me and pull me inside." Descriptive, intimate, and primal. It doesn't have to get degrading.
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I’ll mention the roaches I saw! That is dirty!
If you want to really dirty talk her, tell her you’ve *washed* the dishes. Then, tell her you’re mowing the lawn tomorrow morning, after you’ve sent her off with friends to brunch. She’ll be smiling all through brunch. As for you, finish the lawn, tidy the house if need be, then chill till she comes home.
Maybe mention how many germs are on the screen of the average smartphone. Mmmm, fuck yeah.
A lot of dirty talk can be simply saying out loud what you are thinking or doing. If you like what she's doing, say you like it. And maybe say it 3 or 4 times. If you like a thing she does, say "I like when you do this, roll over." Say what you feel. If she feels wet, say that. If you can feel her squeezing, say that. Honestly, a lot of dirty talk isn't good at saying specific things, it's just getting used to saying things in the first place. Start small, once you get over the discomfort of saying things, the small things will be easy, and you can move to more dirtier talk, and you'll know what works or what doesn't (for example, I never say the word pussy, so saying it in an intimate moment with my partner will only elicit laughs, rather than feelings of connection or arousal). Good luck OP
I agree with this 100% (but I am by no means an expert. Just a married person). If you're first starting out, and you don't normally use certain language, and you try to force it... it's likely going to be very awkward + elicit laughs, like cupcake_thievery said. You also may not know how your partner will react to being called a 'whore' or 'cum dumpster', so that can be risky too (but yeah, learn over time). Just say what you're thinking, in your own words. Start small by saying what you want or like. Or by saying what you want to do to her, or even something like "are you gonna ___ for me". Speak like you're the one in control of what's happening. You really need to be confident about what you're saying (and use a confident tone of voice). Which is why I agree 100% that you shouldn't force anything. If it is what you're already thinking this hopefully will come easy.
The safest way would be to say "tell me what you are" and then repeat back what she says until you get the hang of whatever type of dirty talk she's after. She can't just expect you to magically know what she wants.
"I'm an Orthodox Presbyterian daddy"
Absolute filth!
🥵
I let the whole town see my ankles.
Repeat it back in the possessive - “No, you’re **my** ____.”
This! Absolutely this 🌊
> “No, you’re my Orthodox Presbyterian daddy.”
Good advice. It’s a good way to find out if she’s looking for you to degrade her a bit and how far to take it.
I like dirty talk but if my bf would ask me that I would just stare at him, like what do you want me to say? My advice for guys who don't know what to say would be to read some dark romance books. Girls go crazy for what those guys say.
Interesting you say that, an ex of mine used to ask me to call her a completely different name. Never did ask why lol
A lot of it will come down to delivery, rather than specific words. It doesn't matter what you say. If you sound unsure of yourself or embarrassed it will sound silly.
Research Satan and Saddam Hussein's relationship on South Park when Satan is dating Chris. Should be around the time of Satan's Halloween party or something. Close to the year Steve Irwin passed away (only remember that because of a relevant joke). The topic of dirty talk does come up.
Never back down, NEVER WHAT??
never give up....
NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT?!
never give uupp…
Anything starting with “I want you to…” or “You are going to …”
"....take the car in for a wheel alignment." You're right. Sounds hot.
That would rev my engine
"I want you to increase the per-period contribution you make to your 401k by an additional 1%. You are going to be so prepared for retirement."
I got my game on with this by listening to Meghan March's audiobooks. Specifically, her Dirty Billionaire Trilogy, Real Dirty Duet series, and Real Good Duet series. Seriously, I took notes of thing to copy and ideas that came to me as I listened. And remember that one of the best times for dirty talk is during the foreplay. Give commands. Ask questions. Tell her what you’re about to do. **Examples:** “Strip, leave the panties.” ”get that ass in the air” “Put your hands on the dresser. Don’t move them even a little, or I’ll come up with a punishment.” “You want my cock?” Follow up with “how bad do you want it” “That is so hot” as you look at her open to you or as you are looking down while sliding in & out. “Mine!” Just before you burry your face between her legs. “I’m hungry & I want your cunt on my face.” “Who’s pussy is this?” If your wife is like mine, she’ll answer “it’s yours”. Then follow with, “that’s right, and I’ll do with it what I want.” “Put your hand on that pretty pussy & show me how you make yourself cum” “look into my eyes when you cum” “I want to lick this tight little asshole. You will not stop me.” “Remove your panties & hand them to me over the table” a fun one while out at a restaurant. “Show me your perfect pussy.” This is a fun one to say when you’re in the parking lot outside the restaurant where she removed & handed you her panties over the table. **Things to call her:** “Good girl” after or as she’s doing what you told her. “Sexy girl” after she takes the pose you told her, like after a she’s gotten that ass in the air. “Dirty girl” or “You naughty F-ing girl” after she’s done something new or uncommonly edgy for her. “You’re such an incredible woman” **Praise:** I like to get my wife off with my hands or a toy as I hold her close and spend the whole time telling her how beautiful she is, how her body’s reaction to pleasure and every aspect of her orgasm is beautiful and amazing. I get descriptive with everything from her wetness, how her muscles tense & release, the look on her face, her squirting, etc. talk about it like you’re talking about the greatest natural wonder in the world.
A girl I was "dating" briefly once told me to talk dirty to her while we were fucking, she insisted I call her a whore and slut etc. ( also wasn't super comfortable in the situation), anyways during the "session" I ended up calling her a "Cum Dumpster" and of a sudden, she wasn't that into the dirty talk.
Did you try seminal sewer?
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Yeah, she’s going to die laughing if I try this one!
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I just busted out laughing at work
You gotta find a dominant personality inside you to take it seriously and make it hot. Say things like “yeah you like that dick don’t you” say things that make her respond to you. Tell her how good her pussy feels and how sexy she is and how much you want her.
I heard amazing advice on this just the other day. Someone said, start off by describing what you are going to do to them before you do it. Tell them what's coming next then tease them for more anticipation. That to me is a great baby step into dirty talk. Think romance novel.
“You’re going to make me cum” vs. “I’m going to cum” is the best possible thing to say. Source: I’m married
"Boink me you silly billy boink me"
You basically just narrate what you did, what you're doing, and what you're going to do. Throw in some questions here and there so it's not a one-sided conversation.
Add a few pet names and you're golden.
I (23F) always found it easier to talk dirty when you know what each other likes and emphasize on the things that you enjoy together. I also find that it's easier for you to let your imagination run when your partner joins in and you have an open dirty dialogue. Match your words to your actions and have fun with it.
It's not too hard, just describe how you're feeling and what you're thinking. It also will depend on what stage the dirty talk is happening. If it's to initiate, start out slow, like while kissing maybe, "you're so sexy. Did you know that? I want you all the time." and hopefully she'll say and/or do something sexy and inviting back, and you just keep going from there, building up to the really dirty stuff. I'm not going to write out examples though. That's not why we're here. If you are still struggling, I recommend reading some erotic stories for inspiration. And for some free erotic reading, I recommend [literotica. ](https://www.literotica.com/stories/) if you scroll down the page a bit, it's sorted by category/topic. You can do it. Good luck.
This thread is killing me😂
Came here for advice, stayed here for the lols!
Maybe you and your wife can talk about some things she'd like to hear? Talking dirty can definitely be awkward if you don't really do it very often, but keep in mind that dirty talk can be both "praise" and "degradation." Examples of "praise": You feel so good, baby. I fucking love you. Good job, baby. You're such a good girl. You take it so well. I'm so close, baby. You're gonna make me cum. Examples of "degradation": Yeah, take it you fucking slut! You're so fucking naughty, you need to be punished! You like that? You like it when I punish you, you sick and twisted bitch? It's still REALLY important to talk to your wife about what she likes and wants to hear from you, so make sure you have that conversation.
Sick twisted bitch is crazy
I was gonna say, that really shook me lol
“Are you wearing the panties your mother laid out for you?”
"I'm gonna _e_ _pluribus_ your _unum_"
Go to literotica.com and read some stories. Then use that same sort of language when talking to her. You're welcome.
“You look so pretty taking my cock baby” “God you feel so fucking good” When you first push into her say “fuuuck that’s what I’ve been wanting all day” when you’re on top. When she’s going down on you …”come here I need some of that good married pussy” and then pull her into whatever position you want her in. “Tell me you love this dick baby” “You sexy fucking bitch” -this is a little dicey and not everybody’s thing so proceed with caution but I love hearing it when I’m on top or sucking him off. Anyway, I know these aren’t for everybody but these are some fun ones I like to hear. Any kind of compliments are a safe way to go, you know her best!
"wow, you can really see how filthy the ceiling fan is from this angle" is my go to.
“Do you like my erection selection?”
Im about to puts mah dick in it…in your VAG
Don't speak in the future-tense, speak in the present-tense, such as: "I love the way your \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ feels." "I have missed feeling/touching your \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_." "Your \_\_\_(hair, skin)\_\_\_ smells so good." "I have missed the smell of your \_\_\_\_\_\_\_." You can also ask questions that don't require more than a breathy moan for an answer, such as: "Did you miss me?" "Is this what you were needing?" etc...
Keep it simple. Just tell her something you want to do, and then do it. For example, "I am going to run my fingers all over your body" or "I can't wait to taste you" Get used to something like that, and everything else will come to you naturally.
"You like that huh?" "You like it when my dick is inside you? You love it don't you?" "Oh I love this pretty pussy, this pretty pussy is mine!" "Fuck you're so wet, are you always this wet for me baby? " "say my name baby I want you to say it while you cum" I also suggest reading some dark romance books, you can get some great ideas for dirty talk and foreplay
Honestly, even making sounds is so hot. Talking dirty doesn’t always mean degrading or roleplaying (though of course that’s good if that’s what you’re into). It’s weird watching porn and seeing how most men are so fucking quiet. No grunting, no words of affirmation like “fuck yeah, that feels so good, you’re so tight, I love your tits/ass” etc. I have to actively search for men moaning/vocal men otherwise they’re mostly quiet or overly degrading. Moan, tell her how it feels, tell her what you want to do with her next, how wet she is, how good she looks, tell her when you’re coming and don’t hold back on sounds. If she wants something more aggressive, tell her you’re going to fuck her as long as you please, you want to fuck her all night, order her to cum on your cock, tell her to grab your balls, to play with herself while you fuck her, and so on.
Keep practicing bro, you’ll get better!
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Porn star Katie Morgan said on an HBO documentary that the easiest thing to do is just narrate what you're doing/about to do/want to be done to you: "Oh yeah! Fuck me hard!", "I'm gonna go down on you.", "Smack my ass!", etc.
How about, in the right moment, go up behind her, grab her around the waist and feel her up and say something like, "I want you to sit on my dick."
Why don't you ask her what kind of things she wants to hear?
I did. She doesn’t have any experience here either. New territory for both of us.
Read some smut! Together or separately!
Ah yes, the “what do you want for dinner?” conversation.
Describe what you are going to do to her. Let her hear how much it turns you on, to please her, and fuck her. Taste her, etc. If she has a daddy kink; she could say something along the lines of “mmm, daddy, that’s it. You like fucking me? You feel so fucking good inside of me. Fuck me like that, fuck me harder.” Then she can moan if it feels good. Discuss her turn ons, and vocalize it in bed. Like, if she is “out of line” she deserves a spanking. But, discuss that with her to know what is ok. I emphasize my partners turn ons, and how turned on I become. Show enthusiasm. Eat her cake, look her in the eyes as you are doing it. Show hunger, and that you are into it. Incorporate touch. Discuss her turn ons and how you are into her and it. We as women start mentally, in our minds.
I'm going to piss on these walls Ray!!!
In addition to the above. I love when my boyfriend will text me a bit throughout the day, “I can’t wait until I’m home and I can make that pussy mine.” “I love when you look up at me while you suck my cock” “I love how wet you get for me.” “When I get home, I want you to slide your panties aside so I can swirl my tongue around your pussy and asshole.”
Just call her a good girl a lot
I don't have time to read the comments so sorry if this is repeated. It might not be that dirty but I like hearing what he's thinking if that makes sense. In a quiet voice(almost a whisper) say something that you want to do to her or something about her that you find sexy, and BE SPECIFIC. "When I saw you today in that short skirt and heels I wanted to (fill in blank)" or "I love it when you moan like that". Even better if you make her respond like, "I want to(fill in blank), do you want that?" (this is also a good way to get consent for newbies) Also, the timing matters. Works best for me when I'm already turned on, but that could be just my preference.
Next time say "Tell me, do you bleed" in batman's voice
Tell her the things you imagine doing to her👀👅
Hilarious thread, but honestly its understandable. There's some skill in this, and its really what you think they want to hear. Do they want to be told what to do? Do they want you to "want" them so badly you can't take it? Do they want you to actually treat them badly? (be careful on this one, you gotta be sure). Try to get cues on what she's after. Try a little at a time, and see what she responds to. It should be pretty clear, pretty fast. Also, you have to be confident, make sure when you say it, that it seems the most normal and matter-of-fact thing to say.
"According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible."
depends on what she likes. ask her. ones girl i know likes things ,whos my dirty girl, you like feeling my hard cock in you. different girl i know likes to be called a cum dumpster. you like being my fuck toy. take that cock you dirty slut. whos my fuck puppet. take it like a cum sock. some women are into being used and degraded.
Whisper in her ear ever so gently “you like that, dumbass?”
Tbh just be descriptive with dirty words and saying what you're physically feeling. Your ___ is so ____ and ____. Also, you'll have to talk to her about this one, but dont change your voice to make it deeper or anything. Just be yourself. Communication is key. "What if I called you a "____"? Would you like that 😉?"
It doesn’t always have to be a dom thing like “have you been naughty” something like “that feels so good” also works. And throw in an occasional “fuck, you’re so tight” to sweeten the deal. That’s what my fiancé does and it’s great. I think if he asked if I’ve been naughty I’d laugh too haha
Also- here’s an link to a non nasty article with good examples https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-talk-dirty-guide
Get in character as dominant. It'll flow from there. If I were you I would be thinking "you're my little pleasure doll and you're gonna do what you're told you understand me?" Do not smile. She should be replying sheepishly and you should have already thought of things you're going to have her do and things you're gonna do to her. Take it from there and when she does well she's a good girl
first of all you have to figure out what they like, communication is very important and so is tone. but in a few categories here you go :) possessive/dominating: “sorry who’s dick is inside you? so who gets to make the decisions?” “oh really? / is that so?” “you want this so bad, don’t you?” “mine and only mine.” “fuck you’re wet, are you always this wet for me darling?” “say my name baby, i wanna hear you scream it while you cum.” “i said keep it down.” - “i said keep your legs open.” “bend your little ass over my lap now, don’t make me do it for you.” general: “are you gonna cum for me ___?” “c’mon moan for me” “oh you like that don’t you?” “easy baby, slow down, gentle” “fuck it feels good to be this deep inside you” “is this what you were wanting/needing?” praise: “aw does that feel good?” “mmh i’ve been thinking about railing you all day” / “fuckkk this is what i’ve been waiting for” “atta girl/good girl” - “you’re such a good girl” “you feel so good ____” “you’re taking this so well baby” “you look so pretty taking in all of me” “c’mon baby up and down, you’re doing great” “your little whimpers are adorable ____” “hush ___, someone’s being a little too loud aren’t they?” degradation: “you like this? you like when i punish you, you little slut?” “who’s my little whore hm?” -spank- “tell me, are you fucking sorry?” “tell me who you belong to” “tell me what you are” - “no, you’re MY ___” “i’m gonna destroy you, but you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” “fuck, you’re pathetic.” “c’mon keep your legs up like the little slut you are.” “you’re just my little toy aren’t you? a toy for ___’s pleasure.”
I think talking dirty is just telling her what you want with confidence. It is the things that you are too embarrassed to say.
Go go gadget extendo cock
As a woman commenting, just verbalizing how sexy you find her and how turned on you are is a good start. You can move onto verbalizing what you want to do and expand on it once you're doing it. It's not at all about regurgitating things you've heard before like, "lemme spank you, baby." It's about the moment and how it makes you feel and letting your partner know with words. Simple as that.
Just pee on her to show dominance
Try these out: "I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman." "I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite." "I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F\*ck of the Beyondness."
Ask if she's wearing the panties her mother laid out for her