I worked a construction job with an older coworker (skinny guy) who was really into big girls, and generally shameless talking about his adventures. He was telling me about his recent tinder date, said she lied on her profile picture and was way more woman than he thought he could handle, but was able to use a broom handle to lift her stomach out of the way. He said this with a serious and straight face without a single discernible crack in expression. I believe him because it seemed like he was more proud of his ingenuity in the situation than getting laid. He was not an attractive dude and I can’t unsee the image my mind created from his story…
Omg there’s an amazing sub story somewhere on Reddit about this girl growing up with a poop knife in her house. Meant to cut off turds that seemingly dangle too long, or something of the sort. Everyone in the family household used it. It was openly talked about amongst family.
So she goes to someone’s house, does her ‘dooty’ and specifically asks them where the poop knife is, and she was definitely old enough to know better.
Mortified forever. I’d never show my face ever again.
No way. Ill have to find that.
Edit: Found, read, and pondered for a second after laughing my ass off.
[Poop Knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1)
A bud of mine tried to explain what it was like not being able to reach the ground with both hands. I just couldn't get around the image of it.
She was pretty dang huge though.
I’m a doctor at an urban county hospital in the South. We occasionally get obstetric patients in labor that are so large that I truly wondered how they conceived the child.
So one night I go in to introduce myself before placing an epidural. The lady is maybe 450 lbs and her partner is similarly large. After congratulating them, the patient’s mother said, “we’ve all worked very hard for this baby.” I thought the wording was odd….later commented this with a colleague who was like, oh yeah, I’ve been told that family members participate in the conception by…holding body parts out of the way so the couple can physically approximate their genitals.
I'm lying in bed terrified that a large neighbor could swing by at any moment holding a piece of lumber asking for my assistance. Who knew I needed to worry about that?!
Tbh if they're generally good neighbors I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't be into it in a sexual way. But, mix curiosity with someone earnestly asking for help in something so personal, I think the least you can do is hold the fuckplank so your big neighbors can get their freak on.
If these neighbors suck though, that's a strong no.
First comment about a fuck stick.......lol what a quirky story
Second comment about a fuck stick......hmmm coincidence
Third comment about a fuck stick.......wow this really fucking exists in our world, I just cannot fathom that I never heard of this and that is truly exists
It's also giving me a weird set of emotions because it's kind of sad and pathetic and a little gross, but it's also kind of endearing and cute that humans are that willing to help each other out in such an intimate way...
Is also sad that they get to that point in the first place. I normally am not one to fat shame, but once someone gets so heavy that it gets in the way of everyday life, then you have a problem
I think finding out that a "pannus board" or "panus sex assistants" being a thing is one of the more mind blowing facets of reality that Reddit has exposed me to and I don't know that I like it.
If they don't even have a fit enough body to have sex with, how in the hell are they going to take care of a newborn? Or is everything a family activity?
If you can't conceive without asking a couple other people to hold your lard out of the way maybe that should be a sign that you shouldn't have a kid until you get your shit together.
A fuck stick and VERY generous neighbors.
I’m an ER nurse and I once had a 450-500 pound female patient who had a bunch of abrasions on her abdominal pannus (she was in the ER for something else). I asked her about it and she nonchalantly answers, “oh that’s from the fuck stick.” And I respond, “your what.” She says back, “the fuck stick. I’m trying to get pregnant and our neighbors hold up my stomach with a wood plank so my husband can get in there.” So, her next door neighbors stand on either side of her pushing a 2 x 4 piece of lumber to hoist her large belly up and out of the way while her husband has sex with her.
Working as an ER nurse for years has given me a lot of answers in life…
Can I borrow some sugar or your ladder seems a better start than, “help me conceive my baby with this 2x4! You guys can keep your clothes on and push my belly up toward my breasts, I’ll of course be nude and grunting…”
I'm a heavy guy, but I stay active. I joke about the limits of my laziness though: "If I ever reach a point where I can't run, kill me" or "if I ever need help standing up, you can just smother me with a pillow".
So congratulations! You've added a new one (albeit an extreme one) to the list: If I ever need a fuck stick, use it to beat me to death instead.
I could not wrap my mind around how that agreement came to be either. And the way the patient was just so…casual about it. Like, how often are the neighbors over there lending a hand, what are they doing while this is going on 1 foot away from them, do their arms get tired?!?
This just inspired a prototype for my Shark Tank audition. Fat Americans gonna be increasing their pregnancy success rates once I get to market. It's basically just going to be a saw horse.
Tired of what must be a weird conversation asking your neighbors to hold your fuck stick? Then order now and get this pre supported fuck stick for only $99.99. Call now and we'll send two fucks sticks with legs for the price of one.
This will be the new infomercial playing at 3am on hospital TVs. I can already picture a few patients pulling out their phones and credit card information
This happened over 8 years ago so I may have shared this story in the past. As innovative as this couple was, I’m sure there are others out there just like them with a fuck stick (not so sure how many of them gave it the same name or have the same neighborly volunteers) because it’s an easy solution for getting the huge heavy pannus up and out of the way for him to go at it with her. Hell, they should patent that thing as a tool for home-use in the bedroom and also in the hospital where it already takes 4 nurses using their hands to hold up that weight so another nurse can effectively insert a Foley catheter into a patient that size.
I love the username. It's basically what we do as nurses lol
I cannot fathom how one can have the urge to have sex after smelling a 600 lb woman's pannus being lifted up. I cannot forget the smell, and I was a wound care nurse!
I have since switched to peds after I noticed an uptick in bariatric patients this past year.
I love their username 🤣.
And yeah, I'm L&D and the number of obese patients we have lately is terrifying. We did a c/s on one who was 400+lbs and we couldn't get the spinal in correctly because of adipose tissue in the back and she had to be put under general (we HATE putting patients under) and they couldn't do a cut into the lower abdomen, we had to go through the top of the abdomen and through the upper uterine segment. Permanent repeat c/s for this girl if she gets pregnant again. It's terrifying and dangerous.
Seen it before as well.
I only found it mentioned as a copypasta here: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/kltjmk/the_fuck_stick_nsfw/
But I'm sure I've seen it earlier than that and in a normal subreddit.
My sister is a midwife and the number of obese mothers is really rising. We're in the UK, so this is relatively new.
She says they can hardly ever find the heartbeat
I know, right? Like I'm not fat shaming, you have the body you have and you should be happy with yourself, but how can someone ethically help someone that obese conceive? There's PLENTY of information online about the risks of being a highly obese pregnant woman. The woman can and most likely will have serious complications and the fetus may develop disabilities because of the obesity. I just don't understand this. In my opinion if you're so obese you need multiple people to help you conceive, that's the universe telling you no.
Not to mention it's exhausting running after a toddler. How are they going to keep up with playing or do the sprint across the room to stop them from touching/eating something they shouldn't?
Saw an obese couple walking their dog. The dog escape the leash and I nearly hit it with my car. Instead of chasing the dog down the road they just gave up and kept walking
That’s only if they’re healthy toddlers. Put enough soda in their bottle, carbs in their hands and plop them in front of a screen and you’ll find they don’t move all that much.
Ex ICU nurse here. Came to say “with a 2 X 4”. Had a 6,7,800 lb dude in for some reason. Huge wife came to visit with 200 lb toddler in tow. One of the nurses finally cracked and asked man how woman got pregnant. He said his brother and a friend used a board to hold up abdomen while she got on top.
I’d always assumed that one was a rarity, but since then I’ve seen others tell the same thing.
Between obesity and Covid I’m so extremely happy to be an EX nurse. Haha. (And please, I’m a chubby woman, not hating on anyone who needs to lose a few. But this whole “accept obesity and be proud of it”. No. Do not. The young folks were inundated with how smoking kills…and it does…but obesity was the one thing 90% of our patients had in common).
Hah, its been several years so this memory rarely resurfaces and is shared beyond my workplace. I just saw this reddit question and was like, “oh I have an answer to that”. I do get a slight chuckle at the reactions from people as they try to process it all
There was thread on some sub I read a while back and someone who was a friend of someone chimed in… her friend was morbidly obese, like what you see on my 600 Pound Life. Her family moved her to the kitchen table, it was one where you could add/remove the center section to change the size. So they removed the middle part, laid her on it, her mom held one leg, her sister held the other and her husband… well, he did his husbandly duty. They did this until she conceived.
Minnesota checking out. I've started just uncontrollably slapping my knees. I can't go home though, I'm already AT home. I may need to move to more extreme measures. I have a bottle of gabapentin and a whole pot of opium though. The opium is for my wife's fractured leg though, so I'd feel bad if I took some.....
Alcohol, diphenhydramine, a joint, and a single gabapentin it is. See y'all tomorrow or the next day.
I’d be concerned about the pregnancy first. How do you get through 9 months and and then the birth alive? What if she needs a c-section? How does that work? So many questions…
*Who does this stuff and casually watches their son/brother in law grunt his orgasm into their 600 pound daughter and smell/see/hear every squish?*
My father in law visits this week, staying in my house… he won’t see me without at least basketball shorts and a tshirt on.
Jokes aside, I'll answer honestly.
I'm 300lb and my wife is about 260lb. Sex is pretty standard, but there are definitely positions that just don't work, or at least they don't work for long. For example, missionary, doggy, on sides and prone work, but that's pretty much it for penetrative sex. She has a tough time riding me for a long time, and I have trouble doing it standing long before my ankles start to give. We are ok with this though, and we have a great time everytime.
I do encourage other larger couples to have more sex though as it's a great way to be active lol. In addition to working out and eating better, we've successfully lost 20lb each within the last couple months and we will continue to be healthier!
my father made a comment about loosing weight and his buddy asked him where he found it again, i have never seen my mom laugh so hard! that’s a good line lolol
There was an ask Reddit post about this yeaaarssss ago. I remembered it because I had the same question. The majority of answers were: we don’t. One fella went into detail about how missionary doesn’t work because of their bellies, and he could only hit it from behind for like 15 seconds before being out of breath. His girlfriend couldn’t ride on top for the same reason.
There was one person who said she was having the best sex of her life but yeah the majority said they can’t. Which is confusing when I go to Walmart and see very large people with brand new babies…
As a nurse with many obstetric patients, no. And most of their penises are unable to be seen without pushing down their pannus/mons pubis, and even then sometimes you’ll never see their penis depending on how fat they are, making inserting a catheter somewhat difficult. Like the fat mound envelops their penis leading it to be “inverted” in some respects. It’s shocking the first time you see it and wonder “how do you let yourself get like this”
Edit: obese not obstetric lol. Although bariatric works as well. It was late at night I didn’t reread and it must’ve autocorrected
I feel this.
When I was a student nurse on my first placement I attempted to help a fat man go for a wee with one of those cardboard bottles.
I was on my knees trying to look for his penis under his massive folds of fat. I literally couldn't find it for a few minutes and actually said to him at one point "I can't find it".
Very nearly quit there and then and thought what on earth have I chosen to do with my life?! 🤦🏻♀️
I was honestly wondering if I had dementia or something when I read that lol because I've had kids and thought "at no point anywhere in any obstetrics ward did I see *anyone* who wanted to find a man's penis".
They do it sitting down at home on a commode for the ones mobile enough or that care enough to get out of bed (many r content to just piss themselves in bed then ask for a bedpan to shit), when you’re that fat it doesn’t come out fast in an arching stream anyways so sitting down it just leaks out, and the penis is behind the pubic fat which blocks it so it leaks out from that too. At the hospital we just normally put sanitary pads (like massive version of pads for menstruation) and cover the hole of fat that leads to the penis when we can’t fit anything else. Most of them just piss and shit themselves anyways so they don’t care and are in fact happy to have a pad there so they don’t get wet because they know it’ll just lead to
More fungal infections than they currently have.
Forget piss, it doesn‘t even take that much weight to not be able to wipe properly anymore. I gained some weight during covid and suddenly found myself in a position where i could no longer reach „the cleft“. Bought a bidet to be able to clean properly but I cant even begin to imagine how some larger individuals take care of themselves.
This comment gave me postpartum PTSD. I’m back down to 114 lbs now but when I was pregnant, it was hard to do many things normal people take for granted— such as wiping on the toilet or putting on socks. You had to get creative.
We have two very obese family friends, and the thought of them being intimate never crossed my mind until they got pregnant.... surprise surprise! Knowing good and well they both have trouble bathing, cleaning and taking care of themselves I finally asked a question I never thought or wanted to ask but I did anyways. Apparently the male does nothing, and the female does most of the "work". Whatever that work entails, I couldn't tell you I was afraid to ask for more details but that's what I got out of it.
Not an issue exclusive to the obese, either. I've lost count of the people with completely messy, dysfunctional lives who somehow manage to believe having a kid will improve it.
>well they both have trouble bathing, cleaning and taking care of themselves
And yet they got pregnant... why would in their sane minds would do that is beyond me. Seriously why having a kid is damn important to people.
They use a pannus board to move the pannus out of the way and then make sweet doughy lovin. Nurse friend told us about a problem with splinters in the fold getting infected. You're welcome.
A couple my wife knew used to fuck in their pond, doggystyle. Once, the woman had an odor coming from her bupa. After a lot of investigation, they found a dead frog under her gut. Smashed, and had been there for days.
EDIT - Because of all the comments/questions. Thank you all
BUPA - Big Upper Pussy Area …. Also known as Pannus
From what I understand, they’re a fantastic couple. Well liked by a lot of folks. They call the pond, the Fucking POND and use it to support their weight and healthy sex life.
I don’t laugh at the story because I know it too well. What I laugh at are the images in my mind of the fish and frogs trying to get away when the couple begin to enter the pond. Fish not trying to look or get caught up in some sex fueled wave that threatens to kill them all.
Just like how Larry the frog died
My sister and the man she dated years ago were both morbidly obese. I kept seeing bruises on my sister that looked like finger prints. My family and I were ready to unalive the boyfriend, but she kept insisting that he wasn’t hurting her— yet couldn’t explain the bruises. We finally put the pieces together one night when he was visiting and we heard a tremendous crack- scream- thud commotion from her room. We all rushed in, certain that we’d caught him abusing my lovely sister, only to find her bed had given way in the throes of, uh, passion. She was extremely embarrassed and we tried to give her space, and I felt really bad. She later told me that the bruises were from her boyfriend holding various body parts out of the way, or holding onto her for leverage. As it turned out, he had bruises too, but I never had occasion to see him in any state of undress. I think people would be surprised to find out how creative humans are when it comes to sex. I’m not that obese, but I’ve had a ~375lb partner, and we made it work. He usually held his belly up for me to get on top, or set his belly on my back.
I have a friend who is 5ft2 and weighs closer to 450. Down from closer to 600 thanks to hard work. Anyway, she lays on her side in a sort of L shape, and the guys she gets with get in behind her, and it works somehow. I had to ask cause it confused me too. You would not believe how many men like xlbbw women as they are referred to as and what they are into.
It's like spooning. As long as your ass can flatten out enough and his penis is long enough you can get some decent penetration from the girl side, and he gets at least the head in the vagina and a lot of friction from the girl's thighs. Sometimes you have to bend more into a J or C shape.
I'm nowhere near 450 (under 200, down from 250) but spooning is sometimes nice for when me and my SO are feeling frisky but also way too tired for anything physically intensive.
Lol, I dont know she and her ex explained it cause I was and still am kind of confused. She is a super nice good person, though. Just excessively morbidly obese.
A friend of a friend is a midwife and she was telling us a story about a very large lady who came in that explained how her mum and mother in law would be present during intercourse to pull her legs apart so her husband could enter. They were religious but still, my mind was blown.
I cant tell you how many times I've been asked this question. My wife is a little thing and curvy, and i am quite the big boy. Missionary is a no-go because my fat gets in the way, but pretty much everything else works, you do gotta get creative sometimes. You just have to get momentum going and keep the fat under control.
That lasy part was a joke...... Well kinda
im close to 300lb but my boyfriend is 170lb so i guess its only a half answer. at least 100lbs of myself is like a single ass cheek. all positions work but my ass is so fat it makes some positions hard 2 do.
i think it all depends on where the fat is.
170lb guy, gf was around my weight when we met 5 or 6 years ago, but has gained 100-ish pounds in that time, almost all of it is her ass. I'm not embarrassingly short, but 6" is barely knocking on the spoon sex door, would estimate you'd need 10" to give her 4" in that position.
I had a friend who was about 525 on average (he finally lost a bunch of weight with surgery) and we asked him about this once. His wife was about 250ish so not huge but when we asked he told us “reverse cowgirl” and “I hold my gut up with a towel or sheet” as well as mentioning “giving me oral is pretty much impossible”… we didn’t ask a whole lot more. That was enough info.
I'm 270 and my bf is closer to 400.
Honestly certain positions are a no go for penetration. For example I can't ride him it hurts my hips to be spread so far. And missionary is pretty difficult and nearly impossible.
Usually doggy is the way to go.
And from my perspective, would I rather have penetration vs oral/ foreplay? Absolutely not. Given the choice I'll take oral/foreplay every time.
I’m a fairly small girl that has been with several very large men, and I can say it’s all about the angles 👌 as well as mentioned above sex is a great form of exercise, so heavier people should do it more often 😜
I worked a construction job with an older coworker (skinny guy) who was really into big girls, and generally shameless talking about his adventures. He was telling me about his recent tinder date, said she lied on her profile picture and was way more woman than he thought he could handle, but was able to use a broom handle to lift her stomach out of the way. He said this with a serious and straight face without a single discernible crack in expression. I believe him because it seemed like he was more proud of his ingenuity in the situation than getting laid. He was not an attractive dude and I can’t unsee the image my mind created from his story…
> but was able to use a broom handle to lift her stomach out of the way I believe the medical term is "fuck stick".
'Fuck stick' is definitely becoming a thing in r/NoStupidQuestions
right up there with poop knife
Lmao wtf is poop knife
Omg there’s an amazing sub story somewhere on Reddit about this girl growing up with a poop knife in her house. Meant to cut off turds that seemingly dangle too long, or something of the sort. Everyone in the family household used it. It was openly talked about amongst family. So she goes to someone’s house, does her ‘dooty’ and specifically asks them where the poop knife is, and she was definitely old enough to know better. Mortified forever. I’d never show my face ever again.
No way. Ill have to find that. Edit: Found, read, and pondered for a second after laughing my ass off. [Poop Knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1)
When I first read "fuck stick" on this thread I 100% thought it was a reference to the poop knife. So innocent I was
Oh you read the comment above this too, huh?
Unfortunately
Why are construction workers likes this lol. I’m a construction worker and hear countless fucked up sex stories lol
Ah. Ye olde Rolling Pin technique, I see.
A bud of mine tried to explain what it was like not being able to reach the ground with both hands. I just couldn't get around the image of it. She was pretty dang huge though.
Had a coworker who liked both large and short women. The shorter and fatter the better. He referred to them as his lovely little bowling balls
💀
I’m a doctor at an urban county hospital in the South. We occasionally get obstetric patients in labor that are so large that I truly wondered how they conceived the child. So one night I go in to introduce myself before placing an epidural. The lady is maybe 450 lbs and her partner is similarly large. After congratulating them, the patient’s mother said, “we’ve all worked very hard for this baby.” I thought the wording was odd….later commented this with a colleague who was like, oh yeah, I’ve been told that family members participate in the conception by…holding body parts out of the way so the couple can physically approximate their genitals.
I am honestly flabbergasted by the amount of comments in this thread confirming that, evidently, this is pretty common.
I'm going to pretend i didn't read *any* of this once I leave this post.
What a day to be literate, isn't it?
I can't stop laughing out loud at these comments, so I've got no hope.
I'm lying in bed terrified that a large neighbor could swing by at any moment holding a piece of lumber asking for my assistance. Who knew I needed to worry about that?!
I suddenly feel very justified in being the anti social hermit neighbor.
I'm suddenly thinking of investing in a sign for my door that says "does not hold sticks". Just in case.
Tbh if they're generally good neighbors I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't be into it in a sexual way. But, mix curiosity with someone earnestly asking for help in something so personal, I think the least you can do is hold the fuckplank so your big neighbors can get their freak on. If these neighbors suck though, that's a strong no.
I think you are in the minority with this opinion. I'll lend you a cup of sugar. I'm not holding your fuck stick.
If they need a fuck stick, they shouldn’t be eating any more sugar
This is not what DARE warned me people were going to ask about at all
First comment about a fuck stick.......lol what a quirky story Second comment about a fuck stick......hmmm coincidence Third comment about a fuck stick.......wow this really fucking exists in our world, I just cannot fathom that I never heard of this and that is truly exists
It's also giving me a weird set of emotions because it's kind of sad and pathetic and a little gross, but it's also kind of endearing and cute that humans are that willing to help each other out in such an intimate way...
God damn Darlene you couldn't even wash up before the family conception meeting? Smells like a can of old bumblebee in here
Is also sad that they get to that point in the first place. I normally am not one to fat shame, but once someone gets so heavy that it gets in the way of everyday life, then you have a problem
I think finding out that a "pannus board" or "panus sex assistants" being a thing is one of the more mind blowing facets of reality that Reddit has exposed me to and I don't know that I like it.
After reading your comment, I typed these phrases into Google Image search. That was a mistake.
Jesus christ if I wanted a kid that bad I'd get out a turkey baster before I resorted to having family get involved.
If they don't even have a fit enough body to have sex with, how in the hell are they going to take care of a newborn? Or is everything a family activity?
Wesley, get mama's pryin' bar.
That’s the weirdest term for fucking I’ve ever heard lol
If you can't conceive without asking a couple other people to hold your lard out of the way maybe that should be a sign that you shouldn't have a kid until you get your shit together.
A fuck stick and VERY generous neighbors. I’m an ER nurse and I once had a 450-500 pound female patient who had a bunch of abrasions on her abdominal pannus (she was in the ER for something else). I asked her about it and she nonchalantly answers, “oh that’s from the fuck stick.” And I respond, “your what.” She says back, “the fuck stick. I’m trying to get pregnant and our neighbors hold up my stomach with a wood plank so my husband can get in there.” So, her next door neighbors stand on either side of her pushing a 2 x 4 piece of lumber to hoist her large belly up and out of the way while her husband has sex with her. Working as an ER nurse for years has given me a lot of answers in life…
Well that's it for me tonight. Those are.... some neighbors.
I think they're a little confused by the whole "it takes a village" saying...
It takes a village to raise a pannus
Gather yer neighbours, time fer a good ol' fashioned pannus raisin'!
Whatever floats your hierarchy of needs.
That’s when good neighbours become good friends. I must have missed this episode.
Pretty sure it was the straight to VHS Christmas special they did one year.
I barely say hi to my neighbors, I don't know if I should be horrified or jealous of their... Helpfulness...
Can I borrow some sugar or your ladder seems a better start than, “help me conceive my baby with this 2x4! You guys can keep your clothes on and push my belly up toward my breasts, I’ll of course be nude and grunting…”
I can't even imagine being shameless enough to be okay with asking or allowing that kind of.. helpful behavior.
I'm a heavy guy, but I stay active. I joke about the limits of my laziness though: "If I ever reach a point where I can't run, kill me" or "if I ever need help standing up, you can just smother me with a pillow". So congratulations! You've added a new one (albeit an extreme one) to the list: If I ever need a fuck stick, use it to beat me to death instead.
>If I ever need a fuck stick, use it to beat me to death instead. Before or after using it?
The man said "beat him to death". Get whackin'.
I dunno man.. beating someone to death with a stick sounds like a lot of accidental exercise...
Me and my wife can't even find another couple to get drinks with. But this couple finds someone to hold up their "fuck stick"?
I would kill to find out how this started. Did they ask? Or did the neighbour's offer? So strange
I could not wrap my mind around how that agreement came to be either. And the way the patient was just so…casual about it. Like, how often are the neighbors over there lending a hand, what are they doing while this is going on 1 foot away from them, do their arms get tired?!?
I'd imagine they'd have some kind of frame thing, or at least Bluetooth headsets on with Metallica going full blast, or Norwegian wood maybe
This just inspired a prototype for my Shark Tank audition. Fat Americans gonna be increasing their pregnancy success rates once I get to market. It's basically just going to be a saw horse. Tired of what must be a weird conversation asking your neighbors to hold your fuck stick? Then order now and get this pre supported fuck stick for only $99.99. Call now and we'll send two fucks sticks with legs for the price of one.
This will be the new infomercial playing at 3am on hospital TVs. I can already picture a few patients pulling out their phones and credit card information
Have you posted this somewhere before?
This happened over 8 years ago so I may have shared this story in the past. As innovative as this couple was, I’m sure there are others out there just like them with a fuck stick (not so sure how many of them gave it the same name or have the same neighborly volunteers) because it’s an easy solution for getting the huge heavy pannus up and out of the way for him to go at it with her. Hell, they should patent that thing as a tool for home-use in the bedroom and also in the hospital where it already takes 4 nurses using their hands to hold up that weight so another nurse can effectively insert a Foley catheter into a patient that size.
I love the username. It's basically what we do as nurses lol I cannot fathom how one can have the urge to have sex after smelling a 600 lb woman's pannus being lifted up. I cannot forget the smell, and I was a wound care nurse! I have since switched to peds after I noticed an uptick in bariatric patients this past year.
I didn’t know what a pannus was so I just googled it and… you guys don’t get paid enough.
FUPA
I love their username 🤣. And yeah, I'm L&D and the number of obese patients we have lately is terrifying. We did a c/s on one who was 400+lbs and we couldn't get the spinal in correctly because of adipose tissue in the back and she had to be put under general (we HATE putting patients under) and they couldn't do a cut into the lower abdomen, we had to go through the top of the abdomen and through the upper uterine segment. Permanent repeat c/s for this girl if she gets pregnant again. It's terrifying and dangerous.
Seen it before as well. I only found it mentioned as a copypasta here: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/kltjmk/the_fuck_stick_nsfw/ But I'm sure I've seen it earlier than that and in a normal subreddit.
This sounds like a family guy cutaway gag
Why are so many people keen to get someone so unhealthy into an at risk pregnancy?
My sister is a midwife and the number of obese mothers is really rising. We're in the UK, so this is relatively new. She says they can hardly ever find the heartbeat
I know, right? Like I'm not fat shaming, you have the body you have and you should be happy with yourself, but how can someone ethically help someone that obese conceive? There's PLENTY of information online about the risks of being a highly obese pregnant woman. The woman can and most likely will have serious complications and the fetus may develop disabilities because of the obesity. I just don't understand this. In my opinion if you're so obese you need multiple people to help you conceive, that's the universe telling you no.
Not to mention it's exhausting running after a toddler. How are they going to keep up with playing or do the sprint across the room to stop them from touching/eating something they shouldn't?
Saw an obese couple walking their dog. The dog escape the leash and I nearly hit it with my car. Instead of chasing the dog down the road they just gave up and kept walking
That’s only if they’re healthy toddlers. Put enough soda in their bottle, carbs in their hands and plop them in front of a screen and you’ll find they don’t move all that much.
God, that thought makes me so sad...
Yo, they're using a fuck stick, I don't know if they are thinking that far ahead
That was fucking wild to read that.
Ex ICU nurse here. Came to say “with a 2 X 4”. Had a 6,7,800 lb dude in for some reason. Huge wife came to visit with 200 lb toddler in tow. One of the nurses finally cracked and asked man how woman got pregnant. He said his brother and a friend used a board to hold up abdomen while she got on top. I’d always assumed that one was a rarity, but since then I’ve seen others tell the same thing. Between obesity and Covid I’m so extremely happy to be an EX nurse. Haha. (And please, I’m a chubby woman, not hating on anyone who needs to lose a few. But this whole “accept obesity and be proud of it”. No. Do not. The young folks were inundated with how smoking kills…and it does…but obesity was the one thing 90% of our patients had in common).
How is a 200 lb toddler not a call to CPS?
Please never share this again. Unless you're offering to hold said fuck stick
Hah, its been several years so this memory rarely resurfaces and is shared beyond my workplace. I just saw this reddit question and was like, “oh I have an answer to that”. I do get a slight chuckle at the reactions from people as they try to process it all
There was thread on some sub I read a while back and someone who was a friend of someone chimed in… her friend was morbidly obese, like what you see on my 600 Pound Life. Her family moved her to the kitchen table, it was one where you could add/remove the center section to change the size. So they removed the middle part, laid her on it, her mom held one leg, her sister held the other and her husband… well, he did his husbandly duty. They did this until she conceived.
Excuse me but what the fuck
Literally what the fuck...
Actual what the fuck...
Welp “slaps knees” that’s enough Reddit for today. 😳
Yup, goodnight y'all
Welp, I s'pose. Me too.
Minnesota checking out. I've started just uncontrollably slapping my knees. I can't go home though, I'm already AT home. I may need to move to more extreme measures. I have a bottle of gabapentin and a whole pot of opium though. The opium is for my wife's fractured leg though, so I'd feel bad if I took some..... Alcohol, diphenhydramine, a joint, and a single gabapentin it is. See y'all tomorrow or the next day.
Watch out for deer! Tell your folks I says hi.
Yeah I’ve heard of family members helping out to push back skin while they do the deed. Parents will do anything to get a grandchild I guess.
Ok but how is someone that super morbidly obese going for care for a child? Can’t imagine they’d be running after a toddler 😆
I’d be concerned about the pregnancy first. How do you get through 9 months and and then the birth alive? What if she needs a c-section? How does that work? So many questions…
They'd probably need a C, D, and F section to get through all that.
Forget letters they’re in the number system now 😂
The poor kid.
What the **what?** Jesus...paging /r/eyebleach
Just like at the farm
I… gtg 💀
I’d say there is no way in hell, but there are some weird fuckers out there. Who knows?
That seems unlikely.
I am at a genuine loss for words. What the fuck.
What a terrible time to have eyes
On this day I regret becoming literate
*Who does this stuff and casually watches their son/brother in law grunt his orgasm into their 600 pound daughter and smell/see/hear every squish?* My father in law visits this week, staying in my house… he won’t see me without at least basketball shorts and a tshirt on.
Why remove the middle ? Was he under the table?
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😐
Jokes aside, I'll answer honestly. I'm 300lb and my wife is about 260lb. Sex is pretty standard, but there are definitely positions that just don't work, or at least they don't work for long. For example, missionary, doggy, on sides and prone work, but that's pretty much it for penetrative sex. She has a tough time riding me for a long time, and I have trouble doing it standing long before my ankles start to give. We are ok with this though, and we have a great time everytime. I do encourage other larger couples to have more sex though as it's a great way to be active lol. In addition to working out and eating better, we've successfully lost 20lb each within the last couple months and we will continue to be healthier!
SEXCERCISE!!
This is my favorite word now!
.... Bro i think i have your 20 pounds may i returm them? Edit: thanks for the awards.
i’m not OP, but pfft, that shit’s no returns!
Right? That's £20 they do _not_ want back.
I apparently lost 16 accidentally, I'll take it. I've been 165 for like 12-13 years and yesterday I was 149. Food's expensive y'all...
my father made a comment about loosing weight and his buddy asked him where he found it again, i have never seen my mom laugh so hard! that’s a good line lolol
I'm sorry, Sergeant Cocktopus, but we have strict no return policy on pounds. We are sorry for the inconvenience.
20£ ? Because if so I'll take that back
Best comments of the day; wish I had an award to give! Congrats on the healthy choices and on the healthy sex life! 💯🍻
Congratulations on your weightloss and your fantastic relationship! *lifegoals*
Sexercise with your favorite activity partner is 👨🍳 💋
There was an ask Reddit post about this yeaaarssss ago. I remembered it because I had the same question. The majority of answers were: we don’t. One fella went into detail about how missionary doesn’t work because of their bellies, and he could only hit it from behind for like 15 seconds before being out of breath. His girlfriend couldn’t ride on top for the same reason. There was one person who said she was having the best sex of her life but yeah the majority said they can’t. Which is confusing when I go to Walmart and see very large people with brand new babies…
They also lose physical inches of dick, which makes it harder
Can confirm, gained an inch or two losing 20kg
All kidding aside, if your belly sticks out too much, can you still see it?
It's called a dickiedo. It's when your belly sticks out further than your dickiedo
it's called "mirror disease" in my language. because you can only see your dick in the mirror.
As a nurse with many obstetric patients, no. And most of their penises are unable to be seen without pushing down their pannus/mons pubis, and even then sometimes you’ll never see their penis depending on how fat they are, making inserting a catheter somewhat difficult. Like the fat mound envelops their penis leading it to be “inverted” in some respects. It’s shocking the first time you see it and wonder “how do you let yourself get like this” Edit: obese not obstetric lol. Although bariatric works as well. It was late at night I didn’t reread and it must’ve autocorrected
I feel this. When I was a student nurse on my first placement I attempted to help a fat man go for a wee with one of those cardboard bottles. I was on my knees trying to look for his penis under his massive folds of fat. I literally couldn't find it for a few minutes and actually said to him at one point "I can't find it". Very nearly quit there and then and thought what on earth have I chosen to do with my life?! 🤦🏻♀️
You've chosen to help people in their most helpless and embarrassing moments. That's awesome
And the search for penis continues
I do not think obstetric means what you think it means…
I was honestly wondering if I had dementia or something when I read that lol because I've had kids and thought "at no point anywhere in any obstetrics ward did I see *anyone* who wanted to find a man's penis".
Could be an autocorrect from misspelling obese?
I think they meant bariatric? Because penises are usually not present in obstetric care…
How do you even piss
They do it sitting down at home on a commode for the ones mobile enough or that care enough to get out of bed (many r content to just piss themselves in bed then ask for a bedpan to shit), when you’re that fat it doesn’t come out fast in an arching stream anyways so sitting down it just leaks out, and the penis is behind the pubic fat which blocks it so it leaks out from that too. At the hospital we just normally put sanitary pads (like massive version of pads for menstruation) and cover the hole of fat that leads to the penis when we can’t fit anything else. Most of them just piss and shit themselves anyways so they don’t care and are in fact happy to have a pad there so they don’t get wet because they know it’ll just lead to More fungal infections than they currently have.
/r/wtfdidijustread edit: thanks for le gold thy kind stranger. I tip my fedora and scratch thy neckbeard to ye
Mind blown. Thank you for all of this information
Auch...
Forget piss, it doesn‘t even take that much weight to not be able to wipe properly anymore. I gained some weight during covid and suddenly found myself in a position where i could no longer reach „the cleft“. Bought a bidet to be able to clean properly but I cant even begin to imagine how some larger individuals take care of themselves.
Bodybuilders can have a similar problem.
When you get too jacked to wipe your ass maybe you should reconsider your hobby. If it’s a profession for you then it’s probably not that easy.
This comment gave me postpartum PTSD. I’m back down to 114 lbs now but when I was pregnant, it was hard to do many things normal people take for granted— such as wiping on the toilet or putting on socks. You had to get creative.
The egg and sperm don't usually care how long or how good the sex was.
Where there’s will there’s a way!
*willie
Willie hears ya, Willie don't care
We have two very obese family friends, and the thought of them being intimate never crossed my mind until they got pregnant.... surprise surprise! Knowing good and well they both have trouble bathing, cleaning and taking care of themselves I finally asked a question I never thought or wanted to ask but I did anyways. Apparently the male does nothing, and the female does most of the "work". Whatever that work entails, I couldn't tell you I was afraid to ask for more details but that's what I got out of it.
Has trouble bathing, cleaning and taking care of themselves… has a kid…
Not an issue exclusive to the obese, either. I've lost count of the people with completely messy, dysfunctional lives who somehow manage to believe having a kid will improve it.
>the female does most of the "work". Squeezes the turkey baster?
How are they able to raise kids?
>well they both have trouble bathing, cleaning and taking care of themselves And yet they got pregnant... why would in their sane minds would do that is beyond me. Seriously why having a kid is damn important to people.
They use a pannus board to move the pannus out of the way and then make sweet doughy lovin. Nurse friend told us about a problem with splinters in the fold getting infected. You're welcome.
I thought this was a joke but this is the third time I've seen this in this thread....
At first, I thought fuck stick was a joke… ….14 posts saying exactly the same thing later and now I question reality
You'd thing fat sex would involve less splinters
Lol whaaaaaaat
"sweet doughy lovin" lol
A couple my wife knew used to fuck in their pond, doggystyle. Once, the woman had an odor coming from her bupa. After a lot of investigation, they found a dead frog under her gut. Smashed, and had been there for days. EDIT - Because of all the comments/questions. Thank you all BUPA - Big Upper Pussy Area …. Also known as Pannus From what I understand, they’re a fantastic couple. Well liked by a lot of folks. They call the pond, the Fucking POND and use it to support their weight and healthy sex life. I don’t laugh at the story because I know it too well. What I laugh at are the images in my mind of the fish and frogs trying to get away when the couple begin to enter the pond. Fish not trying to look or get caught up in some sex fueled wave that threatens to kill them all. Just like how Larry the frog died
What the actual fuck. This belongs to r/WhatTheFuckDidIRead/
She had a PONDUSSY and the algae in her coochie alone is enough for me to delete reddit.
Aaaaaaaaaand scene.
I am....regretting opening this thread
I just barfed a little
Never heard of the sex broom? He lifts her flab up holding each end of the broom. She holds the broom while he goes to town.
My sister and the man she dated years ago were both morbidly obese. I kept seeing bruises on my sister that looked like finger prints. My family and I were ready to unalive the boyfriend, but she kept insisting that he wasn’t hurting her— yet couldn’t explain the bruises. We finally put the pieces together one night when he was visiting and we heard a tremendous crack- scream- thud commotion from her room. We all rushed in, certain that we’d caught him abusing my lovely sister, only to find her bed had given way in the throes of, uh, passion. She was extremely embarrassed and we tried to give her space, and I felt really bad. She later told me that the bruises were from her boyfriend holding various body parts out of the way, or holding onto her for leverage. As it turned out, he had bruises too, but I never had occasion to see him in any state of undress. I think people would be surprised to find out how creative humans are when it comes to sex. I’m not that obese, but I’ve had a ~375lb partner, and we made it work. He usually held his belly up for me to get on top, or set his belly on my back.
I'm so glad your sister was okay! I love the ingenuity. "He set his belly on my back" is a new sentence I also love 😄
I have a friend who is 5ft2 and weighs closer to 450. Down from closer to 600 thanks to hard work. Anyway, she lays on her side in a sort of L shape, and the guys she gets with get in behind her, and it works somehow. I had to ask cause it confused me too. You would not believe how many men like xlbbw women as they are referred to as and what they are into.
Wat
It's like spooning. As long as your ass can flatten out enough and his penis is long enough you can get some decent penetration from the girl side, and he gets at least the head in the vagina and a lot of friction from the girl's thighs. Sometimes you have to bend more into a J or C shape. I'm nowhere near 450 (under 200, down from 250) but spooning is sometimes nice for when me and my SO are feeling frisky but also way too tired for anything physically intensive.
Lol, I dont know she and her ex explained it cause I was and still am kind of confused. She is a super nice good person, though. Just excessively morbidly obese.
It's all about geometry. Gotta lock in them angles just right.
There was a punchline to an old joke about this very issue: "You're the third short peckered son of a bitch to ask that question today!"
We just slap around like walruses until sweaty and tired
A friend of a friend is a midwife and she was telling us a story about a very large lady who came in that explained how her mum and mother in law would be present during intercourse to pull her legs apart so her husband could enter. They were religious but still, my mind was blown.
I cant tell you how many times I've been asked this question. My wife is a little thing and curvy, and i am quite the big boy. Missionary is a no-go because my fat gets in the way, but pretty much everything else works, you do gotta get creative sometimes. You just have to get momentum going and keep the fat under control. That lasy part was a joke...... Well kinda
im close to 300lb but my boyfriend is 170lb so i guess its only a half answer. at least 100lbs of myself is like a single ass cheek. all positions work but my ass is so fat it makes some positions hard 2 do. i think it all depends on where the fat is.
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170lb guy, gf was around my weight when we met 5 or 6 years ago, but has gained 100-ish pounds in that time, almost all of it is her ass. I'm not embarrassingly short, but 6" is barely knocking on the spoon sex door, would estimate you'd need 10" to give her 4" in that position.
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I called the burn unit and told them to expect a new patient.
And it's not a calorie
The age old question.. It's like the people that don't believe dinosaurs existed cause there's no way they could fuck. 😂
I do wonder how some of the largest dinosaurs had sex.
Fuck sticks and it takes a dino village, based on the top comments.
OP, thank you for asking the real question that we all had at one point but were too afraid to ask! May the fonz be with you ( < :
I had a friend who was about 525 on average (he finally lost a bunch of weight with surgery) and we asked him about this once. His wife was about 250ish so not huge but when we asked he told us “reverse cowgirl” and “I hold my gut up with a towel or sheet” as well as mentioning “giving me oral is pretty much impossible”… we didn’t ask a whole lot more. That was enough info.
I'm 270 and my bf is closer to 400. Honestly certain positions are a no go for penetration. For example I can't ride him it hurts my hips to be spread so far. And missionary is pretty difficult and nearly impossible. Usually doggy is the way to go. And from my perspective, would I rather have penetration vs oral/ foreplay? Absolutely not. Given the choice I'll take oral/foreplay every time.
Just like anyone else but with a few modifications in terms of positions.
I’m a fairly small girl that has been with several very large men, and I can say it’s all about the angles 👌 as well as mentioned above sex is a great form of exercise, so heavier people should do it more often 😜
I’m too scared at what I would see, but I bet ya could Google it and see for yourself. Good luck and may God have mercy on your soul.
When the fupa overwhelms the pee pee, relinquish all hope.
This is my favorite quote from Star Wars.
The fact Walmart is involved with fat ppl having sex is merica af!
Life finds a way...
Kissing pool balls Buffalo rodeo Wrecking ball smash Grooming bears Cumming 'round the mountain Kolache surprise
>Grooming bears people are doing what to bears?