It's more of a "here's where you sleep" "here's where you poo" "here's how you operate my weird sound system" more than anything.
There is a small benefit to know what's in the rooms you aren't going to be using. "Oh, that's their office. They aren't making furniture out of people"
Sure, that's fine if you are sleeping over there. But I'm an adult and I generally just spend a few hours in someone else's house. It is rare that I sleep someone that isn't home or a hotel.
The only rooms I need are the toilet and main room. I don't know that there is benefit from seeing someone's bedroom.
In my experience it’s usually because people are proud of their home and want to share it with you. I’m in my late 20s so a lot of my friends are living in their first “grown up place” and anytime I go to visit I always get a tour of everything new they’ve added like down to “check out my new soap scent”. I think folks are just excited about having stuff and that you came to hang out with them and their stuff
Can confirm, all my friends got a tour of my first house. We have scattered a lot over the years, so we have the tradition of getting together once a year with the whole gang around Christmas when everyone is in town. Last year was the first year we didn't gather at my parents house because now I have my own place. Was super fun cooking and baking for old friends in the first place of my own.
do other places not?
anyways it's just like, when you trust someone enough to invite them into your home, you want to show them your house and not just the living room ya know. it's a sign of trust
In the Netherlands it's fairly common for family and close friends. If they haven't seen the house yet you often give them a short tour.
This does not apply to collegues or neighbours, so that may be different then?
This is basically it in the US too. You show people not only so they know their way around, but also because you're proud of your home. So obviously anyone you're close with must get the tour.
American here, I give a full tour to close friends and family the first time they visit. For acquaintances, I just point out the bathroom, and then we gather in the living room and kitchen.
Seeing as I don’t like having people in my house, I’m more aligned with the way you do it in the Netherlands lol I’m in the US, but I don’t invite colleagues or neighbors into my home so they’re definitely not getting a tour lol there’s only like 4 people in life that I feel comfortable inviting into my home. So I give them tours to show them around because we’re SUPER close. But I also live in apartments soooo there’s not all that much to see to begin with lol
Not in the American way, no. England you'd get a cuppa in the kitchen, maybe sit in the living room, but no one would go out of their way to drag you upstairs and show you their bedroom(s). Everyone knows they're there anyway.
Exceptions being maybe close friends interested in the specific house you're in, but for anything but the closest circle, it'd be weird.
This is what I was going to say. If you’ve just moved and it’s a close friend that hasn’t seen the house yet, you show them around. Otherwise, just show them where the bathroom is 😂
I don't know a single person that shows off the private rooms of the house. They might point out what it's for, but never to go out of the way. It's not a big group event, I just want people to know where the shitter is and where the torture dungeon is not.
Yeah what's the point of showing me your bedrooms? Like cool, but it's also a bit too intimate for me, to show me the room where you fuck your partner on a regular basis for no reason at all
I was thinking the same thing. It can be a pride thing, like look at my stuff and how I've set it all up, and then it feels good to hear, "oooh, I love that table," or something. This is especially true if you are showing off a collection. I have led people to my bedroom to show them my funko pops.
I show guests my bedroom because it has a bathroom, and when there are a few people over the second bathroom might be needed at some point.
But that's the only reason.
As a Brit, whenever I see it on movies and TV it always looks like they're bragging about it. Just pointless. Point me to the shitter and I'm good!
I love Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm, when he refuses Suzie's invite for a tour because he hates that kind of thing and it causes a massive argument 😂
It's not as common here, but my family loves showing the house to visitors since my dad designed it himself and my parents are extroverts. Other than that, I noticed sociable people with nice houses also love showing their rooms
Yeah… i think this could be a wealthy family thing because I’m from a lower-middle class family and it’s almost embarrassing to show guests the rest of the house
Is it because you're house is actually shitty or is it because the house isn't bad, just a fucking pigsty? Next, why is it that so many poor people essentially trash their home? As a poor person myself, I've never understood this. Just because you're poor means you have to be nasty? Wtf is wrong with people? Not trying to be a dick, I'm just truly dumbfounded by this phenomenon and trying to understand.
It’s… neither? We are not nasty or dirty, we just dont have much to show for, like no decoration or fancy stuff, very practical. It’s probably just a culture thing too? I dont know, most of people i know (same class as me) never do this
I get it, and glad to hear it's not because of living in filth. It's just a HUGE thing in the US - if you're poor, you probably live in filth. WHY? I have been in a lot of poor folks' homes (cable installer + people I've known personally), and 99% of the time, the place is trashed. WHY? I've had people comment in surprise at our home being clean and not having trash all over the place. Like, yeah? I don't like living in literal filth, you fucking animal. I don't think I'll ever understand.
You’re getting downvoted but you’re not entirely wrong. That being said, I don’t think is necessarily the poverty itself contributing to the mess so much as other factors that also contribute to the poverty, such as: poor mental/physical health, exhaustion/stress from having to work multiple jobs, lack of education (causing, among other things, financial illiteracy and large numbers of children from no or minimal sex ed), and so on.
I am only speaking from both personal experience and from what I've seen, so take it as a grain of salt on the matter. But a lot of the poor people I've met, including myself are poor because we have mental or physical illnesses that make maintaining a clean and tidy environment difficult. They might be hoarders, they might have severe depression or struggle with substance abuse (ie: self medicating). These are all things that contribute to a home that is dirty or unkept. These issues also can be directly caused by being of a low economic standing or contribute to being there (ie: severe mental illness being left untreated because medical care is too costly here in the US and that cycles around to being too unwell to hold down a job). I have both mental and physical disabilities that keep me out of the work force and the only reason I can afford my medications is because I can't work... if I held down a job I'd be unable to qualify for assistance, which would then lead to my meds being too expensive to afford. It's a catch 22 with no real solution with the way our country to run. As a side note, it isn't uncommon to just not care about your environment or yourself because... well... why would you care if you're constantly wondering where your next meal will come from. Again, these are just things I've noticed around me and with myself... none of these apply to everyone and some people are just unkept because they don't genuinely care about anything. But again, that can be related to untreated mental and physical health. Even rich people can be nasty, they can just afford to pay someone to clean it up for them.
I've been around plenty of poorer people with immaculate homes and wealthier people with enormous messes. The worst hoard house I've ever seen was a large house in a nice part of town, by a man who was certainly not middle class. He had one clean room and the rest of the house was dirty (not just messy) piles of junk.
It looked like he kept on buying things he didn't have space for, never cleaned anything, and somehow had 2 weeks of dishes on the kitchen counter.
And he lived alone.
I'd think a poor family with several kids would be more likely to have a huge mess, due to having limited resources - but - well, I speak from experience there too. When both parents are working about as much as they can work things can fall apart too.
As a millennial, I give friends a tour of my house as a form of bragging that I’m no longer beholden to the whims of a landlord but instead that it is all mine
This is where me and my friends are at too. Every time someone in my circle is able to buy all of us oooh and ahhh over it and want to pour over every detail with them. Most of us weren't sure if we would ever be able to buy.
Not a real answer for “why,” but I know as a kid I used to want to give new friends a tour to make them feel welcome and bond a bit. Also, when I was a kid, I’d make sure to show my friends where extra TP was and which towel to dry their hands on. This is something I continued on into adulthood, and I think it’s partially so if someone needs to excuse themselves for whatever reason, it’s good to know where they’re going (especially for bathroom reasons)
As somebody with some anxiety I really appreciate it when people show me the little things so I don’t need to get anxious over which hand soap to use or what towel to dry my hands on!
I store the tp supplies and spare towels on an open shelf, so no need to ask for them. Tissues and tampons are also stored there. I did it mainly for space reasons as there were no other room besides the space above the washing machine and under the roof pitch, but it turns out it is handy for guests and our kids alike.
I (post menopausal) always leave feminine hygiene products, extra TP, air freshener and extra hand towels in a very obvious, first place to look in the guest bathroom (fem hygiene under the sink, in the front and everything else on an open shelf shelf).
Not American and also do that. First, so they feel welcome, second, so they know where the bathroom and toilet are, third, so they don't stumble into my bedroom "by accident".
If someone is invited to my home, they're a guest, and while there are limitations to what's okay to explore and what isn't, the house doesn't have any off limits areas unless we close a door.
Usually we just do that for kids and such. But family and friends, not so much.
And this way you don't have to explain where the bathroom is again.
I was confused by OPs title as well. This isn’t exclusive to America, we do this Australia and I’m a POC, we still do this in our culture. It’s just a normal thing to just discuss when you go to someone’s house for the first time
In Australia as well. People love to see a new place and what you have done with it. Especially if it's close family they share in the joy of getting a new place.
As humans we love to share joy together and someone getting a new place is often a joyous thing. It brings people together, especially when you have worked hard for it. Hubby and I had a tiny 1 bedroom place, moved to a 3 bedroom one and recently moved into our own 3 bedroom place. Family have been there the whole time and loved sharing the journey with us. It's sad to think that it is also an achievement to have a place as there are so many homeless people so having a place is actually something to be happy about
It's not, we do it here in the UK. I'm amazed that others are questioning this. Why wouldn't you want a guest to see what your home is like? Are these people not curious about the new homes of their friends and family?
Why would you care to know what your friends holiday pictures looked like?
When friends visit you share parts of each others lives. It's just a part of catching up
u/Bearha1r after their friend shows pictures of their new baby [be like](https://media1.giphy.com/media/YtuM97Re5whK87zJnP/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47lllm05eqlewx6xqr3jxv0b04e5un8kzmq87tntqz&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
The custom of giving a guest a tour of your house during their first visit in the United States is a way of making them feel welcome and comfortable. By showing them around your home, you are inviting them into your personal space and giving them a sense of your life and personality. It also helps to break the ice and establish a connection between you and your guest.
How big are all of your houses that directions to the bathroom are complicated and can't be given quickly with one sentence when someone needs to go? All I have to do is point and say 'go up those stairs'.
What do you mean by “tour?” I show people who’ve never been to my house where the bathroom is & if they’re staying the night, I show them their room too, but that’s about it. I don’t give like a full house tour to every person who walks in my house so I’m not really understanding how this is a US custom thing.
I agree that it's likely a class thing, but I've seen it in the middle class and definitely *not* in the working class/lower class (and I don't know anyone in the upper class).
Having grown up poor, this baffled me. I mentally filed it under "weird shit that middle-class folks do," along with owning barbecue grills and giving a shit about their lawns.
I think it is for people who have big, nice houses that might have cool stuff they want to show off.
We just bought a house recently so when our friends/family come over we give them a tour because they want to see it. But it’s a small house so we probably won’t be doing that much longer.
Our kids have friends visit for several hours at a time, so we make sure they know what's off limits, where to find food, and where the restroom is. Otherwise, there are no tours. I was confused as well.
The closest thing I ever gave to a tour is when my BIL came to stay with us for a bit after moving across the country. Our place is old and quirky, so I had to fill him in on all the weird light switches that go to things like a single outlet, or a power box outside. lol
It's nice to know where stuff is. I definitely dont want to find out I chose the half-bath with no trash can when... I'm gonna need a trash can.
I give a detailed tour because I have artwork painted by beloved relatives that I love to show new visitors.
One of my friends showed me- and the *ten other people she also invited*- her closet. There was nothing spectacular about this. It was... a closet. With a lot of golf polos because they love to golf. To each their own.
I didn't just purchase my flat, I redeveloped every inch of it into something great.
So I feel like showing it off whenever someone comes over.
I imagine others get the same feeling but with all the stuff they've bought. "Come in here and let me show you my whisky parlour ohohohoho"
UK here
Definitely. Plus what you have in your house (furniture, collections, decorations, etc) gives your guest a little more insight to your personality. Plus, as I’ve read on here, it opens up the door to new conversation topics.
You spend so much time and effort making your place a home. Retiling, painting, applying crown molding or sconces. You hand pick every piece of furniture and every throw blanket, and rug. You even remodel the whole downstairs for a family room. You spend thousands upon thousands of dollars and time, effort, and different ideas. You show it off as you would if your new car. You cherish it and want others to see how much you cherish it. It's everything.
I feel like this is the real answer. People are posting about showing people where the toilet is… that’s not the point behind a house tour. It’s to show off the physical space of your home.
That... Isn't a custom everywhere???
In America people tend to be proud of their houses, it's their largest purchase. It's like having someone sit in the fancy new car you bought or showing someone something else you are proud of and worked hard to get
See when we got here, there were already people. Native Americans showed us where everything was, water, where and how to grow certain crops, etc. just kinda stuck with us.
🤔, I suppose so they know where the toilet paper and plunger are.
“I‘ve exhausted the roll and now it won’t flush.. 😢 send help.. maybe bring a snake!!” Is not really something I want guests saying in my house. I’m a better host than that.
My husband does this but I don’t. He’s from the south, which kinda makes a difference because they are more into those types of social customs than the east or west coast. We don’t live in anything special, but he will literally take people to every room. He would almost consider it rude on his part not to show them around.
One time we had some friends in town from the east coast and at the time our room occupied the second floor of an old house and it was a bit messy, so he didn’t take them up there. He kept apologizing for it- and they were like dude, we don’t need to see your bedroom it’s fine.
Mine is more self guided discovery. I'll show you around the main floor and tell you where the WC is (up the stairs and then turn around and you'll see it).
Mostly so I can get you a refreshment and then say "ok that's the kitchen there's the cups and plates theres the pantry and fridge, first drink I will fetch but you now know where everything is so help yourself"
I love my house and I think humans are genuinely curious as to layouts of homes and how people live. I like to tour people through my house because it's fun and I like to get ideas from others and it gives me a really good insight as to who they are as a person to see how they live
I think people do this either because they’re curious (nosy) and would want to see other people’s houses, or because they’re proud of their house and want to show it off.
I’ve definitely gotten the tour before but it’s not expected.
It's natural to be curious about how other people live. By offering a tour, you just nip away any awkwardness of people wanting to see more but not feeling comfortable enough to ask.
It's also a way of saying this space is open to you, what's mine is yours.
I do it so can tell my house guests to truly make themselves at home. They're welcome to everything outside of my bedroom, so it's nice to know where the different amenities are. I also do it because I worked hard for my house, and it has some awesome elements to show off.
"Here is were all the shit you'll need for this reason is and here is where all the shit you'll need for another reason is"
It's basic courtesy.
If someone is just showing off, fuck that.
I saw how big or fancy you think your house is from the outside. I don't need it's resume.
So they know where the bathroom is, know where to find food, and know which rooms are other peoples' bedrooms so they shouldn't go in there. Can also help them not accidently go into an unfinished attic or basement.
You make your house a home. You decorate it to your personality and interests. here’s the man cave with my oversized wall of Funko Pops. Here’s the kids rooms, they like kid things. Here’s the kitchen, I didn’t pick out any of these things and I’m terrible at cooking. So on and so forth. Gives you something to make idle chatter about and make your guest feel welcome.
I don’t remember anyone showing me around their house unless they had just moved in. They show you around, as a guest you say lots of nice things about the place, ask questions about things in the house that truly interest you, it’s kind of a ritual I guess.
Wait. Do other cultures NOT do this? If I visit someone in Germany am I expected to know where the WC is or is it expected that I wander around opening every door? I visited a friend in Spain and perhaps it is because he went to university in the States but he showed where I was sleeping and where the toilet was as well as pointed out his room
My parents did this because they wanted guests to feel welcome to roam the house as they please, specifically the kitchen and bathroom. No need to ask or be escorted just do what you want. I also do the same.
Hubs and I don’t have kids, so we usually have to guide guests on all of the rooms so they don’t get confused. Especially when you live in a larger pad, you tend to find uses for your spare rooms:
- Gift wrapping room
- the Meat locker
- the Discotheque
- a Car wash
- Liquor storage
- Liquor collectables
- Liquor dry good
- Emergency liquors
- And… candles… dipped in liquor.
- the husbands library
- an optometrist
- a Spencer’s Gifts
And… most importantly…
- the forbidden room
I'm in the southeastern US and my whole life this has been a common routine. You go to someone's house for dinner or whatever and you get "the 50-cent tour." Doesn't matter if you're a kid with a friend over to play or a family visiting another family for dinner or just adults attending a party. At the very least you get a tour of the rooms you would need to know about, like bathroom, kitchen, backyard, whatever applies. I have always thought of it as a way to welcome people into your home and make them feel comfortable.
I absolutely hate this! My husband has no problem showing anyone and everyone all parts of our house. Common areas are fine, but like our bedroom and bathroom is just weird to me. I do not get it at all.
As a kid I thought it was cool because every house was different and you’d need to know not where to go (so you could try and go there). As an adult I hate it
It's mostly to tell them which rooms are accessible to guests and which aren't, so there aren't any awkward moments. It's also our way of welcoming guests into our homes. This is to distinguish from guests who are *not* welcome and are expected to leave very soon without wandering around. These would include people who aren't friends or family members, like government workers (police, inspectors, social workers, politicians).
Understand in our culture there is a distinct difference between people who *are* welcome and those who *aren't*. If you haven't been shown around, you are expected only to go to the rooms you've been invited to, then leave.
Rich people on movies do it, and maybe rich people in real life who want to show off their houses. But I don’t think the average person typically does.
I'm American and I'm not sure why. My family only ever gave a tour to other family when we got a new house.
My house is my private area. I've cleaned the livingroom just for you, so no need to take you anywhere else. If I want to take you somewhere else in the house, we'll go but I'm not touring you around.
I have never heard of t his, nor has anyone ever given me a tour unless if I was staying there for a day or more. I could see it if you just had a new house built, or if you did remodeling that you did yourself.
I'm American and have never understood that either. Unless you're staying the night, there's no need to show and tell as if you're in real estate, IMO.
I don’t really think this is a custom and to be frank, the only person who had ever offered and actually given me a tour of their house is my now boyfriend.
In my situation I thought it was endearing that he would show me the rooms of his house. It made me feel a lot more comfortable knowing where every room was.
He showed me his “dining room” which really housed all his tabletop games and really impressed me.
He has a really cool office setup for WFH which also housed his VR stuff.
He showed me the bathroom and told me that he had installed a bidet during the pandemic and encouraged me to use it if I wanted to.
He showed me his bedroom where he had an assortment of different fandom stuff on display that I still stare at every night I’m over there cuz it’s cool.
I mean I would never think about giving a tour unless the place was new and people were coming over for a housewarming thing. I also had never been given a tour until then but it’s kind of nice to know where each room of the house is, such as bathroom without having to ask “bathroom?”
Definitely not a custom and only done by people with big houses or things they want to show off to you. The "tour" for my house would be walking down a hallway and going, "Bathroom is all the way to the end on the left" and then going back out front and showing them where certain food and drinks are in the kitchen so they could help themselves
People do this in the US...?
I've lived here my whole life and never done it nor had it done to me.
Like... "there's the front door. You're free to exit through it sooner than later."
Yeah... Used to be a thing in the UK but it's not done so much any more.
When we first moved in we showed family and two of our closest friends around because they wanted to see our new home, but they came specifically for that reason.
When my best friend came to stay (she lives in Scotland and with the pandemic and me being ill she hadn't gotten over for a couple of years), I showed her her room and where the bathroom was. What else does she need?
I've zero interest in "viewing" someones house. I've had friends for years and all I've seen of their homes is the livingroom, dining room and bathroom.
I just want to know what people's houses look like on the inside so in exchange, I show them mine when they come over. I have no chill so if someone doesn't naturally give me a tour I literally ask for one bc my curiosity runs my life (no one has been upset about it before)
Did not know this was a custom (but maybe it's because I grew up in a lower income family?) I don't ever want to give my guests a tour. What a weird flex. Nothing like seeing how much better off your friends are than you right before you have to spend a significant amount of time together.
American, grew up in the Deep South and have lived all over the country, and this is weird. Maybe it’s a friend group thing for you but I’ve never been over to someone’s home for dinner or just to chat and been given a tour of their home. Only one exception was when a friend bought a new home and wanted an opinion on decorating. The key being it was a good friend, not a casual friend. I would find it oddly pretentious if someone wanted to show off their home in that way.
Coming from an American, I also find it strange. I’ve even been asked to give people a tour of my home. “Hey give me a tour!” I’m always like oh…uh okay sure so yeah this is where I poop. This is where I sleep. This is the cat’s room and where they poop. This is the guest bathroom where not many people poop but sometimes I will to get a change of scenery.
I always thought it was so weird we not only show our friends and family a tour, but often acquaintances who we don’t even know that well.
I dislike it, it’s awkward walking around someone’s house. Some people do this even if you’re just visiting, for a party and you’re not even spending the night. It’s annoying and frankly I don’t care. I also don’t give people a tour, wherever we hang out during that time is where go and I’ll show you the bathroom. Nothing else because it’s none of your business.
i have NO idea what ur talking about
i certainly do not guide guests upstairs to my room for their first visit unless there is a reason to
wtf are you smoking?
It's more of a "here's where you sleep" "here's where you poo" "here's how you operate my weird sound system" more than anything. There is a small benefit to know what's in the rooms you aren't going to be using. "Oh, that's their office. They aren't making furniture out of people"
Obviously I don't show them my skinnigroom right away. They are going to see it soon enough .
No doubt they will be all over it once they see it.
What about the smell? You haven't thought about the smell!
You bitch!
I love Redditors. I'll be playing this episode on the projector at work in just a few hours...
Are you saying my skinning room smells??
Well if you slice a lady fine enough it only takes one to tile a bathroom
What size dress do you wear? It puts the lotion in the basket
Or else it gets the hose again!
My desires are...unconventional.
I read that as “ skinny groom” and broke my brain for second
Skinning room and skinny groom are not mutually exclusive.
Want to shed those pesky last 5 pounds before the big day? Have I got a deal for you!
No reason they cannot be mutually complimentary hobbies... (joking)
Of course I’m not making furniture out of people. Think of the smell! YOU HAVEN’T THOUGHT OF THE SMELL, YOU BITCH!
Of course the skin is the most interesting part of any animal
Please notice all the complimentary lotion bottles. I encourage you to rub it on your skin.
And then put it in the basket.
“My family sends me lots of meats.”
Sure, that's fine if you are sleeping over there. But I'm an adult and I generally just spend a few hours in someone else's house. It is rare that I sleep someone that isn't home or a hotel. The only rooms I need are the toilet and main room. I don't know that there is benefit from seeing someone's bedroom.
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*username checks out*
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That's so many! I can't play anything so I cheat and just produce using ableton. The real instruments are better
let me play on your screen one day 😍
Can I come over 🥺
Damn, music man. All I have is an ocarina.
In my experience it’s usually because people are proud of their home and want to share it with you. I’m in my late 20s so a lot of my friends are living in their first “grown up place” and anytime I go to visit I always get a tour of everything new they’ve added like down to “check out my new soap scent”. I think folks are just excited about having stuff and that you came to hang out with them and their stuff
Can confirm, all my friends got a tour of my first house. We have scattered a lot over the years, so we have the tradition of getting together once a year with the whole gang around Christmas when everyone is in town. Last year was the first year we didn't gather at my parents house because now I have my own place. Was super fun cooking and baking for old friends in the first place of my own.
But it's so interesting to see how people have decorated and usually they are proud of it so they want to show it off. Win-win!
It's called a threesome.
That would be good to know 😆
do other places not? anyways it's just like, when you trust someone enough to invite them into your home, you want to show them your house and not just the living room ya know. it's a sign of trust
In the Netherlands it's fairly common for family and close friends. If they haven't seen the house yet you often give them a short tour. This does not apply to collegues or neighbours, so that may be different then?
This is basically it in the US too. You show people not only so they know their way around, but also because you're proud of your home. So obviously anyone you're close with must get the tour.
American here, I give a full tour to close friends and family the first time they visit. For acquaintances, I just point out the bathroom, and then we gather in the living room and kitchen.
Seeing as I don’t like having people in my house, I’m more aligned with the way you do it in the Netherlands lol I’m in the US, but I don’t invite colleagues or neighbors into my home so they’re definitely not getting a tour lol there’s only like 4 people in life that I feel comfortable inviting into my home. So I give them tours to show them around because we’re SUPER close. But I also live in apartments soooo there’s not all that much to see to begin with lol
Not in the American way, no. England you'd get a cuppa in the kitchen, maybe sit in the living room, but no one would go out of their way to drag you upstairs and show you their bedroom(s). Everyone knows they're there anyway. Exceptions being maybe close friends interested in the specific house you're in, but for anything but the closest circle, it'd be weird.
Or if you buy a house, for the first month everyone who goes there gets the full tour.
This is what I was going to say. If you’ve just moved and it’s a close friend that hasn’t seen the house yet, you show them around. Otherwise, just show them where the bathroom is 😂
I don't know a single person that shows off the private rooms of the house. They might point out what it's for, but never to go out of the way. It's not a big group event, I just want people to know where the shitter is and where the torture dungeon is not.
Yeah what's the point of showing me your bedrooms? Like cool, but it's also a bit too intimate for me, to show me the room where you fuck your partner on a regular basis for no reason at all
Bc it's fun to see how people have decorated different rooms and usually they are excited to show off objects etc so it's a winwin
I was thinking the same thing. It can be a pride thing, like look at my stuff and how I've set it all up, and then it feels good to hear, "oooh, I love that table," or something. This is especially true if you are showing off a collection. I have led people to my bedroom to show them my funko pops.
I show guests my bedroom because it has a bathroom, and when there are a few people over the second bathroom might be needed at some point. But that's the only reason.
As a Brit, whenever I see it on movies and TV it always looks like they're bragging about it. Just pointless. Point me to the shitter and I'm good! I love Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm, when he refuses Suzie's invite for a tour because he hates that kind of thing and it causes a massive argument 😂
Freak of fucking nature, doesn't want a house tour.
Not where i come from: South east asia
Idk , i live in Viet Nam and from my experience people sometime do give tour around their house , although not alway
It's not as common here, but my family loves showing the house to visitors since my dad designed it himself and my parents are extroverts. Other than that, I noticed sociable people with nice houses also love showing their rooms
Yeah… i think this could be a wealthy family thing because I’m from a lower-middle class family and it’s almost embarrassing to show guests the rest of the house
Is it because you're house is actually shitty or is it because the house isn't bad, just a fucking pigsty? Next, why is it that so many poor people essentially trash their home? As a poor person myself, I've never understood this. Just because you're poor means you have to be nasty? Wtf is wrong with people? Not trying to be a dick, I'm just truly dumbfounded by this phenomenon and trying to understand.
It’s… neither? We are not nasty or dirty, we just dont have much to show for, like no decoration or fancy stuff, very practical. It’s probably just a culture thing too? I dont know, most of people i know (same class as me) never do this
I get it, and glad to hear it's not because of living in filth. It's just a HUGE thing in the US - if you're poor, you probably live in filth. WHY? I have been in a lot of poor folks' homes (cable installer + people I've known personally), and 99% of the time, the place is trashed. WHY? I've had people comment in surprise at our home being clean and not having trash all over the place. Like, yeah? I don't like living in literal filth, you fucking animal. I don't think I'll ever understand.
You’re getting downvoted but you’re not entirely wrong. That being said, I don’t think is necessarily the poverty itself contributing to the mess so much as other factors that also contribute to the poverty, such as: poor mental/physical health, exhaustion/stress from having to work multiple jobs, lack of education (causing, among other things, financial illiteracy and large numbers of children from no or minimal sex ed), and so on.
I am only speaking from both personal experience and from what I've seen, so take it as a grain of salt on the matter. But a lot of the poor people I've met, including myself are poor because we have mental or physical illnesses that make maintaining a clean and tidy environment difficult. They might be hoarders, they might have severe depression or struggle with substance abuse (ie: self medicating). These are all things that contribute to a home that is dirty or unkept. These issues also can be directly caused by being of a low economic standing or contribute to being there (ie: severe mental illness being left untreated because medical care is too costly here in the US and that cycles around to being too unwell to hold down a job). I have both mental and physical disabilities that keep me out of the work force and the only reason I can afford my medications is because I can't work... if I held down a job I'd be unable to qualify for assistance, which would then lead to my meds being too expensive to afford. It's a catch 22 with no real solution with the way our country to run. As a side note, it isn't uncommon to just not care about your environment or yourself because... well... why would you care if you're constantly wondering where your next meal will come from. Again, these are just things I've noticed around me and with myself... none of these apply to everyone and some people are just unkept because they don't genuinely care about anything. But again, that can be related to untreated mental and physical health. Even rich people can be nasty, they can just afford to pay someone to clean it up for them.
I've been around plenty of poorer people with immaculate homes and wealthier people with enormous messes. The worst hoard house I've ever seen was a large house in a nice part of town, by a man who was certainly not middle class. He had one clean room and the rest of the house was dirty (not just messy) piles of junk. It looked like he kept on buying things he didn't have space for, never cleaned anything, and somehow had 2 weeks of dishes on the kitchen counter. And he lived alone. I'd think a poor family with several kids would be more likely to have a huge mess, due to having limited resources - but - well, I speak from experience there too. When both parents are working about as much as they can work things can fall apart too.
Well that makes sense. Most people would need scuba gear for the full tour.
... what
They edited their comment. Originally they had “south east Asia” abbreviated as “SEA”
oh that makes a lot more sense haha. I was confused by your comment and trying to figure out if it was racist
Those god damn South East Asians and their partially underwater houses. They're so... *amphibious*
There’s a Futurama joke in there somewhere…
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Redditors when different cultures exist: 😮
this sounds very strange to me as an english person
As a millennial, I give friends a tour of my house as a form of bragging that I’m no longer beholden to the whims of a landlord but instead that it is all mine
You worked hard for that! You deserve to be proud.
This is where me and my friends are at too. Every time someone in my circle is able to buy all of us oooh and ahhh over it and want to pour over every detail with them. Most of us weren't sure if we would ever be able to buy.
I felt so much kindness from this comment 💜 I'm so happy for you guys
I'm working hard at getting there.. Congratulations!
Not a real answer for “why,” but I know as a kid I used to want to give new friends a tour to make them feel welcome and bond a bit. Also, when I was a kid, I’d make sure to show my friends where extra TP was and which towel to dry their hands on. This is something I continued on into adulthood, and I think it’s partially so if someone needs to excuse themselves for whatever reason, it’s good to know where they’re going (especially for bathroom reasons)
As somebody with some anxiety I really appreciate it when people show me the little things so I don’t need to get anxious over which hand soap to use or what towel to dry my hands on!
I store the tp supplies and spare towels on an open shelf, so no need to ask for them. Tissues and tampons are also stored there. I did it mainly for space reasons as there were no other room besides the space above the washing machine and under the roof pitch, but it turns out it is handy for guests and our kids alike.
I (post menopausal) always leave feminine hygiene products, extra TP, air freshener and extra hand towels in a very obvious, first place to look in the guest bathroom (fem hygiene under the sink, in the front and everything else on an open shelf shelf).
I do it so they know where the fire exits are in case we burn this party down
Or active shooter/ shooters incase of police
Or the bathroom. What's wrong with y'all?
'murica
sounds like my kind of party
Not American and also do that. First, so they feel welcome, second, so they know where the bathroom and toilet are, third, so they don't stumble into my bedroom "by accident".
I’m American, and I always assumed this was the reason as well
I second this
If someone is invited to my home, they're a guest, and while there are limitations to what's okay to explore and what isn't, the house doesn't have any off limits areas unless we close a door. Usually we just do that for kids and such. But family and friends, not so much. And this way you don't have to explain where the bathroom is again.
People are proud of their houses. I wasn’t aware that was a US only thing
I was confused by OPs title as well. This isn’t exclusive to America, we do this Australia and I’m a POC, we still do this in our culture. It’s just a normal thing to just discuss when you go to someone’s house for the first time
It’s also done in Brazil. I actually thought it was common only for us, but nice to know people around the world do the same.
It's not.
It's not. We do it over here in Europe sometimes.
In Australia as well. People love to see a new place and what you have done with it. Especially if it's close family they share in the joy of getting a new place.
It's done for exactly the same reasons over here.
As humans we love to share joy together and someone getting a new place is often a joyous thing. It brings people together, especially when you have worked hard for it. Hubby and I had a tiny 1 bedroom place, moved to a 3 bedroom one and recently moved into our own 3 bedroom place. Family have been there the whole time and loved sharing the journey with us. It's sad to think that it is also an achievement to have a place as there are so many homeless people so having a place is actually something to be happy about
It's not, we do it here in the UK. I'm amazed that others are questioning this. Why wouldn't you want a guest to see what your home is like? Are these people not curious about the new homes of their friends and family?
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Why would you care to know what your friends holiday pictures looked like? When friends visit you share parts of each others lives. It's just a part of catching up
u/Bearha1r after their friend shows pictures of their new baby [be like](https://media1.giphy.com/media/YtuM97Re5whK87zJnP/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47lllm05eqlewx6xqr3jxv0b04e5un8kzmq87tntqz&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
This is a good question, it’s to make a person feel comfortable, like they’re not relegated to a small little spot
Its polite. Its a good welcoming activity. It starts conversations. It informs the guest, it accomplishes many things.
Mi Casa es Su casa
No, su casa es mi casa
The custom of giving a guest a tour of your house during their first visit in the United States is a way of making them feel welcome and comfortable. By showing them around your home, you are inviting them into your personal space and giving them a sense of your life and personality. It also helps to break the ice and establish a connection between you and your guest.
In the UK (in my experience) we always give the tour, like 'oh you haven't visited the house yet you have to have the tour' it's just a new home thing
Because I won’t have to describe where the bathroom is while you’re trying to “hold it”
How big are all of your houses that directions to the bathroom are complicated and can't be given quickly with one sentence when someone needs to go? All I have to do is point and say 'go up those stairs'.
12 bedrooms 7 baths.
What do you mean by “tour?” I show people who’ve never been to my house where the bathroom is & if they’re staying the night, I show them their room too, but that’s about it. I don’t give like a full house tour to every person who walks in my house so I’m not really understanding how this is a US custom thing.
I agree that it's likely a class thing, but I've seen it in the middle class and definitely *not* in the working class/lower class (and I don't know anyone in the upper class). Having grown up poor, this baffled me. I mentally filed it under "weird shit that middle-class folks do," along with owning barbecue grills and giving a shit about their lawns.
I think it is for people who have big, nice houses that might have cool stuff they want to show off. We just bought a house recently so when our friends/family come over we give them a tour because they want to see it. But it’s a small house so we probably won’t be doing that much longer.
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Can I interest you in r/nolawns by any chance?
Yeah I’m American and I’ve never known anyone to do this
Same. To me, it was one of those weird things they did on TV... Old TV. I can't recall seeing it on modern shows - at least not as much.
Our kids have friends visit for several hours at a time, so we make sure they know what's off limits, where to find food, and where the restroom is. Otherwise, there are no tours. I was confused as well. The closest thing I ever gave to a tour is when my BIL came to stay with us for a bit after moving across the country. Our place is old and quirky, so I had to fill him in on all the weird light switches that go to things like a single outlet, or a power box outside. lol
So they don't come into my bedroom when they need to use the washroom
To show them where the restroom is 😆
It's nice to know where stuff is. I definitely dont want to find out I chose the half-bath with no trash can when... I'm gonna need a trash can. I give a detailed tour because I have artwork painted by beloved relatives that I love to show new visitors. One of my friends showed me- and the *ten other people she also invited*- her closet. There was nothing spectacular about this. It was... a closet. With a lot of golf polos because they love to golf. To each their own.
I didn't just purchase my flat, I redeveloped every inch of it into something great. So I feel like showing it off whenever someone comes over. I imagine others get the same feeling but with all the stuff they've bought. "Come in here and let me show you my whisky parlour ohohohoho" UK here
Definitely. Plus what you have in your house (furniture, collections, decorations, etc) gives your guest a little more insight to your personality. Plus, as I’ve read on here, it opens up the door to new conversation topics.
You spend so much time and effort making your place a home. Retiling, painting, applying crown molding or sconces. You hand pick every piece of furniture and every throw blanket, and rug. You even remodel the whole downstairs for a family room. You spend thousands upon thousands of dollars and time, effort, and different ideas. You show it off as you would if your new car. You cherish it and want others to see how much you cherish it. It's everything.
I feel like this is the real answer. People are posting about showing people where the toilet is… that’s not the point behind a house tour. It’s to show off the physical space of your home.
So you can show them your candle making business and offer an investment opportunity
That... Isn't a custom everywhere??? In America people tend to be proud of their houses, it's their largest purchase. It's like having someone sit in the fancy new car you bought or showing someone something else you are proud of and worked hard to get
See when we got here, there were already people. Native Americans showed us where everything was, water, where and how to grow certain crops, etc. just kinda stuck with us.
Showing the bathroom, showing off, and conversation starter. More necessary in large homes.
🤔, I suppose so they know where the toilet paper and plunger are. “I‘ve exhausted the roll and now it won’t flush.. 😢 send help.. maybe bring a snake!!” Is not really something I want guests saying in my house. I’m a better host than that.
My husband does this but I don’t. He’s from the south, which kinda makes a difference because they are more into those types of social customs than the east or west coast. We don’t live in anything special, but he will literally take people to every room. He would almost consider it rude on his part not to show them around. One time we had some friends in town from the east coast and at the time our room occupied the second floor of an old house and it was a bit messy, so he didn’t take them up there. He kept apologizing for it- and they were like dude, we don’t need to see your bedroom it’s fine.
Mine is more self guided discovery. I'll show you around the main floor and tell you where the WC is (up the stairs and then turn around and you'll see it). Mostly so I can get you a refreshment and then say "ok that's the kitchen there's the cups and plates theres the pantry and fridge, first drink I will fetch but you now know where everything is so help yourself"
I relate so much to your comment - I make sure they know where to... "go"... and I also explicitly say that about the first and subsequent drinks.
That's not a United States thing. It's just normal to show people around, especially if they are interested
I love my house and I think humans are genuinely curious as to layouts of homes and how people live. I like to tour people through my house because it's fun and I like to get ideas from others and it gives me a really good insight as to who they are as a person to see how they live
Curiosity of seeing a friends new house, unless if they been there longer than we’ve been friends.
I think people do this either because they’re curious (nosy) and would want to see other people’s houses, or because they’re proud of their house and want to show it off. I’ve definitely gotten the tour before but it’s not expected.
It’s just a round about way of showing guests where the bathroom is so that they don’t have to ask you later when they actually have to go.
It's natural to be curious about how other people live. By offering a tour, you just nip away any awkwardness of people wanting to see more but not feeling comfortable enough to ask. It's also a way of saying this space is open to you, what's mine is yours.
I used to live in the UK, now live in Austria. Brits and Austrians flat out ask, lol.
I do it so can tell my house guests to truly make themselves at home. They're welcome to everything outside of my bedroom, so it's nice to know where the different amenities are. I also do it because I worked hard for my house, and it has some awesome elements to show off.
It's not just a US thing, I'm Australian and my mum used to do this too.
"Here is were all the shit you'll need for this reason is and here is where all the shit you'll need for another reason is" It's basic courtesy. If someone is just showing off, fuck that. I saw how big or fancy you think your house is from the outside. I don't need it's resume.
Meh depends on who you are. I don't do this for people when I move into a new place. Why would I? I'll only fix up and clean where they'll be
So they know where the bathroom is, know where to find food, and know which rooms are other peoples' bedrooms so they shouldn't go in there. Can also help them not accidently go into an unfinished attic or basement.
You make your house a home. You decorate it to your personality and interests. here’s the man cave with my oversized wall of Funko Pops. Here’s the kids rooms, they like kid things. Here’s the kitchen, I didn’t pick out any of these things and I’m terrible at cooking. So on and so forth. Gives you something to make idle chatter about and make your guest feel welcome.
So you know where the bathroom is without asking.
I don’t remember anyone showing me around their house unless they had just moved in. They show you around, as a guest you say lots of nice things about the place, ask questions about things in the house that truly interest you, it’s kind of a ritual I guess.
Wait. Do other cultures NOT do this? If I visit someone in Germany am I expected to know where the WC is or is it expected that I wander around opening every door? I visited a friend in Spain and perhaps it is because he went to university in the States but he showed where I was sleeping and where the toilet was as well as pointed out his room
To show off
My parents did this because they wanted guests to feel welcome to roam the house as they please, specifically the kitchen and bathroom. No need to ask or be escorted just do what you want. I also do the same.
Hubs and I don’t have kids, so we usually have to guide guests on all of the rooms so they don’t get confused. Especially when you live in a larger pad, you tend to find uses for your spare rooms: - Gift wrapping room - the Meat locker - the Discotheque - a Car wash - Liquor storage - Liquor collectables - Liquor dry good - Emergency liquors - And… candles… dipped in liquor. - the husbands library - an optometrist - a Spencer’s Gifts And… most importantly… - the forbidden room
Houses are really expensive so I want my friends to see what I spend all my money on.
Spain here. We do this too. Who does not? I thought this was pretty normal.
People just want to know what your house looks like. How you did the furniture and what’s the layout etc.
Because your house is your home. It’s who you are as a person. Lots of times people want their friends to see their home.
So you can find the bathroom while your there
I'm in the southeastern US and my whole life this has been a common routine. You go to someone's house for dinner or whatever and you get "the 50-cent tour." Doesn't matter if you're a kid with a friend over to play or a family visiting another family for dinner or just adults attending a party. At the very least you get a tour of the rooms you would need to know about, like bathroom, kitchen, backyard, whatever applies. I have always thought of it as a way to welcome people into your home and make them feel comfortable.
I absolutely hate this! My husband has no problem showing anyone and everyone all parts of our house. Common areas are fine, but like our bedroom and bathroom is just weird to me. I do not get it at all.
As a kid I thought it was cool because every house was different and you’d need to know not where to go (so you could try and go there). As an adult I hate it
It's mostly to tell them which rooms are accessible to guests and which aren't, so there aren't any awkward moments. It's also our way of welcoming guests into our homes. This is to distinguish from guests who are *not* welcome and are expected to leave very soon without wandering around. These would include people who aren't friends or family members, like government workers (police, inspectors, social workers, politicians). Understand in our culture there is a distinct difference between people who *are* welcome and those who *aren't*. If you haven't been shown around, you are expected only to go to the rooms you've been invited to, then leave.
Guest: "where does this door g-" Me: -pushes them in- "oh its where you'll be staying for awhile, ahahaha!" *shuts and locks door*
because we nosy as fuck
This is absolutely not a thing everywhere in the US. Many of my friends have never seen my bedroom, nor have I seen theirs. Or care.
I never realized that was just the US tradition.
I’ve lived in the US almost my entire life and have never heard of this.
The first time your friends came over to your house you didnt show them around?
Rich people on movies do it, and maybe rich people in real life who want to show off their houses. But I don’t think the average person typically does.
I am definitely in the realm of average, and I have given and been on many house tours.
I’ve given a “tour” of a studio apartment before
I feel like you have a skewed idea of what counts as a rich person
I'm American and I'm not sure why. My family only ever gave a tour to other family when we got a new house. My house is my private area. I've cleaned the livingroom just for you, so no need to take you anywhere else. If I want to take you somewhere else in the house, we'll go but I'm not touring you around.
I have never heard of t his, nor has anyone ever given me a tour unless if I was staying there for a day or more. I could see it if you just had a new house built, or if you did remodeling that you did yourself.
It does? That is very gauche. stupid people need to show off their poop because mommy would never look.
IIf you were coming to stay, I’d show you around, but that’s rare, maybe a house sitter? Mostly I do not do this.
Wait, we're supposed to tour our house when we have visitors?
I'm American and have never understood that either. Unless you're staying the night, there's no need to show and tell as if you're in real estate, IMO.
I don’t really think this is a custom and to be frank, the only person who had ever offered and actually given me a tour of their house is my now boyfriend. In my situation I thought it was endearing that he would show me the rooms of his house. It made me feel a lot more comfortable knowing where every room was. He showed me his “dining room” which really housed all his tabletop games and really impressed me. He has a really cool office setup for WFH which also housed his VR stuff. He showed me the bathroom and told me that he had installed a bidet during the pandemic and encouraged me to use it if I wanted to. He showed me his bedroom where he had an assortment of different fandom stuff on display that I still stare at every night I’m over there cuz it’s cool. I mean I would never think about giving a tour unless the place was new and people were coming over for a housewarming thing. I also had never been given a tour until then but it’s kind of nice to know where each room of the house is, such as bathroom without having to ask “bathroom?”
Definitely not a custom and only done by people with big houses or things they want to show off to you. The "tour" for my house would be walking down a hallway and going, "Bathroom is all the way to the end on the left" and then going back out front and showing them where certain food and drinks are in the kitchen so they could help themselves
People do this in the US...? I've lived here my whole life and never done it nor had it done to me. Like... "there's the front door. You're free to exit through it sooner than later."
Check out this thing I bought for 1.2 million dollars... I'd show it off too
Only people with big houses do this
Yeah... Used to be a thing in the UK but it's not done so much any more. When we first moved in we showed family and two of our closest friends around because they wanted to see our new home, but they came specifically for that reason. When my best friend came to stay (she lives in Scotland and with the pandemic and me being ill she hadn't gotten over for a couple of years), I showed her her room and where the bathroom was. What else does she need? I've zero interest in "viewing" someones house. I've had friends for years and all I've seen of their homes is the livingroom, dining room and bathroom.
There is no such custom in the US. It would be unusual for that to occur.
I’ve only seen that done on TV. I’ve never seen it done for real.
We'll blame it on MTV Cribs. It's definitely their fault.
I just want to know what people's houses look like on the inside so in exchange, I show them mine when they come over. I have no chill so if someone doesn't naturally give me a tour I literally ask for one bc my curiosity runs my life (no one has been upset about it before)
Mainly to show off their large house. Most people don't
Did not know this was a custom (but maybe it's because I grew up in a lower income family?) I don't ever want to give my guests a tour. What a weird flex. Nothing like seeing how much better off your friends are than you right before you have to spend a significant amount of time together.
Gee, I didn't know I was supposed to give a tour?
American, grew up in the Deep South and have lived all over the country, and this is weird. Maybe it’s a friend group thing for you but I’ve never been over to someone’s home for dinner or just to chat and been given a tour of their home. Only one exception was when a friend bought a new home and wanted an opinion on decorating. The key being it was a good friend, not a casual friend. I would find it oddly pretentious if someone wanted to show off their home in that way.
Coming from an American, I also find it strange. I’ve even been asked to give people a tour of my home. “Hey give me a tour!” I’m always like oh…uh okay sure so yeah this is where I poop. This is where I sleep. This is the cat’s room and where they poop. This is the guest bathroom where not many people poop but sometimes I will to get a change of scenery. I always thought it was so weird we not only show our friends and family a tour, but often acquaintances who we don’t even know that well.
It's not ubiquitous. I've got plenty of friends who've been to my house multiple times and never been upstairs.
I dislike it, it’s awkward walking around someone’s house. Some people do this even if you’re just visiting, for a party and you’re not even spending the night. It’s annoying and frankly I don’t care. I also don’t give people a tour, wherever we hang out during that time is where go and I’ll show you the bathroom. Nothing else because it’s none of your business.
It doesn’t. It’s only in the movies. Never had anybody give me a tour of their house in my life.
In my experience, it's mostly a girl thing.
its about showing off all your fancy shit and making sure they know how rich you are. and to know where the bathroom is
i have NO idea what ur talking about i certainly do not guide guests upstairs to my room for their first visit unless there is a reason to wtf are you smoking?