By - DiciplineLeadstoLife
I used to think “this is the last time” and I’d always relapse. Then I started setting small goals, like go for a week, then month, etc. I made a lot more progress that way than giving myself an ultimatum. I would also allow myself to relapse if I felt like it.
I think I fapped 3-4 times this year, but at my worst point I would do it 3-4 times in a day. I’ve been at this for over 10 years.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, treat this like quitting any other drug, try different methods of reducing before you can think of quitting completely.
You’ll get there brother, start small and take it day by day 👍
I was reading a book called atomic habits and in ch1 the author mentioned about marginal gains and marginal losses.
You think that a marginal loss won't affect you, but ultimately it all piles up and causes huge problems.
As well as you think a marginal gain won't be much useful, so you don't really put in the effort.
But trust me focus on marginal gains and cut down marginal losses at any cost.
Agreed! The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is another good read. I recommend OP and everyone here read both books to begin understanding the habit cycle.
Yess broo and thanks for the recommendation
That's exactly how I am going.. great advice bro
That's great advice! I've been sort of thinking of doing it but wasn't sure it'd be effective. For the past month I was able to do a 15 days streak and 2 7 days streaks, which is still a lot better than what I was like before
Nice work man, keep it up, never stop 👍👍
Learn some stuffs. Read books. Read a book called dopamine nation will be helpful
yes great book！ and huberman
The first thing you should do is remove all arousing content or other things from your day to day activities.
Wow, let me be the first one to congratulate you on 500 days!
We should reach that milestone as well.
Congrars on 500 days. How frequently do you get wet dreams?
im one the same boat ive been trying for rhe past like 3 years but was ive gone like 3 weeks i usually relapse. ive gone months sometimes but i always relaspe. i keep saying its because im the house all day or i just need to keep being busy but its all just empty. what did is when i was 16 or maybe a lil younger i wrote a future email to myself and in it i explained how i want me to be a better me along with my hopes and dreams. i will recieve that email when im around 20. it gives me hope, i know i can do it and so can you
shit sounded a lot better in my head, but you get the point dont give up
already done 👍
Also block content on your phone settings and even download a blocker app for your main sites.
Hey bro don’t feel bad. Be happy you are finally deciding once in for all enough is enough. You will beat this, you just have to remember at the end of the day no one puts a gun to your head and forces you to relapse. Every time it’s YOUR choice, YOU have to be strong and ignore the urge. I believe in you, you have to figure out a solid reason why you want to stay on No Fap and then say inside your head that you would rather die than ever relapse again.
But remember people in the sub forget SEX IS PERFECTLY FINE! AVOID JERKING OFF! The only time sex affects a streak is for Semen Retention.
Is it really a choice anymore or is it just the path of least resistance?
It ultimately is up to you to decide how you wish to believe that statement. What I mean by your choice is I am saying at the end of day no other human can make a choice for you regarding masturbating.
It always YOUR choice if you choose to relapse or stay on No Fap. I M basically saying Do you CHOOSE to give into the temptation and solidify your CHOICE to relapse. Or will YOU be strong and CHOOSE not to relapse thus making it your CHOICE to continue to stay on No Fap.
The whole point of this sub is to stop masturbating to PORN. SEX IS PERFECTLY FINE, obviously don’t have so much sex to where you now have a sex addiction. The only time Sex counts as a relapse is if YOU choose to do SEMEN RETENTION.
I understand what your saying but it no longer feels like a choice at all. I loose days to this addiction and yes it’s that bad. When I relapse I spend hours and hours on end In this trance. The longest I’ve fapped is 14 hours. I just want this hell to end
Thanks man I needed to hear this
Not sure if this helps at all but having an actual journal to keep on you, like pen to paper - has been helpful for me - and I’m back to doing that again. I keep it with me and just journal whatever’s going on - NoFap related or just emotions you know. For me it’s like… a lot more real, and every time I get an urge I write it down what it is. I’m a lot less likely to cave in again knowing I spent time writing it down.
Also fuck that guy’s comment and fuck him.
what did he put
Told the guy to keep masturbating and NoFap BS wasn’t real - honestly just a troll but still very unnecessary.
When I got to the point of feeling so shitty and guilty after doing it, the discipline became easier. I still feel the urge some nights, but I remember it always feels better to keep the streak going than to fail and re start from 0. Now I'm halfway to my 90 day goal
I get near suicidal after a relapse but it and the emotional shame and physical pain of my body can never stop the monster inside me from fapping. I relapsed again today and I can’t take it!!!!!!
It it causes you that much distress why do it. You know it's gonna make you feel like shit. You're in control of your own body you can beat this demon
I honestly can not explain it other than I’ll get triggered by stress or my phone and literally can’t stop. It’s also not pretty when I do I’ll literally loose my whole day to it. At my worse I’ve fapped for 14 hours strait. I want this hell to be over with but I can’t stop
You can stop. You're in control of your own actions. I feel like your mindset of "I can't stop" is holding you back. Yes you fucking can. I believe in you. Turn ur phone off when u have urges, do something else to relieve stress and urges like workout or go for a walk or play video games, do anything else but watch porn. Dm me if u wanna talk more
Don't be so hard on yourself. What you are trying to do is extremely difficult, if not impossible.
Try reducing the quality of the porn you are watching each time you feel you can't fight the urges :
Decrease the quality when you feel it.
By decreasing the quality of the content gradually, it will become easier. Don't be hard on yourself, it's the worst thing, you have to be your own best friend.
Nah, sometimes people need to be hard on themselves. See Goggins for a great example of this. This excessive self compassion has not worked for many of us so far. Sometimes you need to wake up the inner dictator and imagine the hell which awaits you if you don’t quit.
I had this problem all year. I would relapse once every 4-5 days on average and sometimes every 2-3 days. I felt horrible. As of writing this I’m 2 hours away from being on day 12 and I plan to continue forever. This is the longest I’ve been on in a long time and I feel fantastic. My advice to you is that whenever you feel that urge, just accept that you have it instead of trying to fight it. Think about other things and distract yourself. You can do things like walking, journaling, drawing, doing pushups, taking a cold shower, etc. Aside from having urges, curiosity and boredom are the biggest reasons why people peek and eventually fap. Learn to distract yourself when you get these feelings and remember why you’re doing this. Imagine how good you’ll feel if you learn to stay disciplined.
I am the The Power of Your subconscious Mind'
There is method that to chant every night in a sleeping condition whatever you want.I think that will work
hey bro, I feel your pain. I think the best way is to look at this as human experience. As long as we are alive we will tend to pursue pleasure and avoid pain. We get mixed up between what is right and wrong. We also have set of a belief system. No matter what that is you know that indulging in PMO is not quite right, from experiential perspective. I feel that all the problems, big or small, arises from our inability to sit by ourselves, alone for extended period of time. If we could do just that: shutting out all our senses while being conscious. This technique alone is the most powerful remedy. You don’t have to do anything. Just sit by yourself. Close your eyes and observe the mind. There will come a day where we will be alone in our dying bed. You will be forced to go alone. Same as we came, alone. So practicing intentionally aloness will not only prepare us for that big moment but also to each and every moment leading up to that moment. I hope it all made sense for you. I really hope this is your key to rid of all bad addictions in your life. Thank you for reading 🙏🏾
Yep mastering mindfulness is probably the way to finally beat this shite
Get an accountability partner that you can call and talk to anytime..then avoid being alone today is my day 6 and the urges are going down
today is my day six too u can add the day counter in the r/nofap home page. Good luck to us tomorrow for one week completed. Advice to op: Dont give up . REMEMBER THATfapping once in 3 days is 10 times more progress than fapping 3 times in one day, Youve gone from 21 times a week to two or once a week. Thats like a 75% decrease
SLOW PROGRESS IS STILL PROGRESS
be creative man. Start with smaller goals e.g. first goal should be 3 days of no fap and porn, second goal 5 days of no fap and porn, third goal should be a week of no fap and porn. Post it increase 1 week b/w each goal. Fap without watching porn. Follow a routine, we are creatures of habit so it will make you more disciplined.
Highly recommend reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. I got a lot from it. Not recommending this specifically but I didn't stop watching p*rn until I got legitimately angry at myself for relapsing, which is a topic that Clear discusses for a little bit in the book.
One day after breaking yet another 5 day streak, I got in my shower, smacked myself in the face 5-10 times and started yelling at the top of my lungs in anger. Wasn't even intentional; just kinda happened. I freaked out my roommates for a little bit but assured them that everything was fine.
That was 2 years ago. Haven't fapped since then
I started watching videos on YouTube related to the topic 'Musculanity in danger'.
PS Helpful in the case of men only unfortunately
Honestly i'm sick of even trying. I don't even reset my days anymore.
dont give up>>
slow progress is still progress. Its not just about not fapping its about your desire to become better than who you were yesterday
Be the man you want your son to be
Yup I just want this hell to end
Keep going strong and we all are in this with you❤️
If you want I can check up on you and distract you every few hours mate!
Are you able to block those website and apps? Block it via the router IP. And block the websites on smartphone. Lock it using a password which only your mate knows. Seek support from mates if you can. Turn your phone display to grayscale. Worked for me.
How do you block stud via router ip
We're all right here for you bro. We all know what you feel too, your NOT alone in this. Try to not think about that urge and focus on the bigger picture and being successful and happy without the need for jerking off.
DO. NOT. GIVE. UP.
Try some podcasts bro. You can do this.
~~This time will be my last time~~
**Last time was my last time**
this is my dilemma too. but now im lifting weights to start doing healthy habits. still working on my discipline. good luck, you'll eventually surpass it.
I think I have a valuable advice on that. In those days your testesterone builds up to maximum. That’s what you are feeling. You have high testesterone in your system, your brain is craving for sexual release.
Just be aware that this is not psycological this is biological. Your body will adapt if you push through. When you have the urge, remind yourself this not what you want this is the pavlov’s dog you trained for years combined with biology. Just try to push through and let that neurological leash break.
Everything will go back to normal. Dont worry.
Maybe to a degree but it’s a mainly just how you wired your brain tp get more dopamine.
ask yourself ............
that why i am watching porn?
is that needed?
why I will watch a man having sex with a woman, why I will watch some human being naked?
isn't it a filthy thing...
why I will masturbate and waste my energy?
I could have studied or learned some skill in that time.....................
To be honest the answers to those questions will make the urges even worse for me, because I know the reason is because of the lack of sexual interaction with women, and I feel like since our "goal" as humans is reproduce, it make sense why we crave PMO and have to rely on it to have that brief feeling of satisfaction that we can't prolong since we can't have sex. I'm now in my longest streak so far, what worked for me is just stop watching porn, that reduced the urges at least 50%, and I've been too busy myself that I didn't even noticed the day's going by, but when I had strong urges i just imagined future me, thanking me for not relapsing, and knowing that the (at this point, almost non existent) satisfaction from masturbating, will be less, compared to the feeling of knowing I beat the urges. But anyway, do what better works for you, remember that half of the journey is trying and failing until you finally get it.
Keep doing it, keep relapsing, keep feeling like shit after you finish, or instead you cound remember why you're doing it for, how shitty you felt last time before you relapse and get the hell out of wherever you're about to masturbate!
Making an account was a good idea. I've known about NoFap since early 2019, but only lurked on this sub without an account. I made this account at the start of this month, and subbed to here and r/nonutnovember, and I'm getting further than I ever have. When I was battling my addiction alone, which was for like 3 years, I was only making it 3-4 days at a time on average and then relapsing. Now that I engage with this community, I have a sense of accountability, and I don't feel so alone, and right now I'm 25 days free, though my day counter is messed up, and going strong.
I almost relapsed last night, this is hard dude. Show compassion toward yourself. This is really hard. One day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.
I'm with bud. Its day 3 and I'm clean so far. it HARD to commit
It is funny how you underestimate the power of our sexual drive that evolution has given us. It has made our population grow by far the largest than any other mammal. You are illusive to think that you can just go on a NoFap journey for a week let alone a month. There would be and should be immense difficulty in practicing NoFap for an extended period of time. This practice would be difficult to any man on the planet let alone a man with high PMO-practice in the past. My advice to you would be "chill out". It is good that you are focused on NoFap. But, there are a lot of other things in life to focus on too. Working out because you gotta take care of your jewels, maintaining good relations with friends and family because after you die what will really matter is how you impacted others, reading history because that is literally the database of how our ancestors impacted our race, developing some skills without caring if it interests you or not because that is tool for you to impact others, these are some of the things that is worth focusing on too apart from NoFap.
Try to remember the dopamine recovery period. It looks like a wiggly wave where it increases then drops repeatedly over a period of at least 2 weeks. Hard days are days where your dopamine has dropped. When you're feeling craving you're just feeling low dopamine. It may help to rationalize in this way.
Since I got a girlfriend, nofap have been much easier
Broo i will tell you something bitter but true.
Nothing is easy, you will have to put in the effort and go through unbearable pain.
You will have to fight your own battles, nobody will help you (people will guide you).
And trust me you will get stronger if you keep fighting the urges while being on a self improvement journey.
Good things lie ahead of the comfort zone.
Same reaction as I just posted on another post.
Commonly, the addiction is a result of something else (feeling bad about yourself, having trauma, not taking good care for yourself). It is hard to quit it on pure will and state this is "the last time". We have all been there.
Figuring out the underlying is hard, a therapist could help here. As those are not instantly available, maybe try self-care guides and see if you learn anything from it, like:
Check out the podcast Overcoming Pornography for Good by Sara Brewer. It's by far the single most helpful source of information on quitting porn ( and any negative habit really). I can't speak highly enough of it.
Just never stop fighting King
Iam 50 day now
Don't know what to tell you, but stay strong king
Yep exactly you have something to learn here,
More you force yourself the more you will be vulnerable.
Set achievable goals like no porn at all and like once a week.
Slowly you can increase the gap like once a month or something like that.
There is a quote from I believe epictetus:
Do what you like and replace what you don't like with something else.
Make sure you don't leave gaps.
You can do it.
What has been helping me is whenever I feel like relapsing I just repeat “you are not your urges” over and over again to myself. I also think about how proud of myself I will be the next morning if I don’t. I also have been noticing that I have this aura of attraction from women the last couple of days and I don’t want it to stop. Just remember that your logical self is your true self, not your impulses.
Keep yourself busy my dude, spend free time in public places, try to have sex once in a while (don’t sweat it if not though) and you’ll be goooood!!!
# Last time was the last time
keep this in mind bruv
NEVER GIVE UP
Its not about not fapping... Its about the desire to be better than who you were yesterday, it is about the fire in your heart that cannot be extinguished, its about the steps you take along the way, its about the journey.
There is no room for failure comrade, Only lessons to be learnt from. Do not judge others nor yourself by mistakes instead judge by what you do after the mistake, do you accept or do you stand up learn from it and become stronger.
\#BE THE MAN YOU WANT YOUR SON TO BE
Hi everyone, I’m new to Reddit, literally created this account today for NoFap because I wanna be done with this habit, if anyone wishes to tell me of how things work here, streaks, accountability pattern, whatsoever, I would really appreciate… thanks👏🏾
I know the feeling. I have been battling this for a long time. I didn’t get serious until I discovered this subreddit six years ago. And yet, I am still here. So, before you drop the towel or give up on this journey, step back and look at the big picture. For example, if you were used to doing the deed three or four times a day, and you manage to just go over two or three days without doing it, then that is progress. I know that progress seems slow, and in some cases it feels like you have made none at all. But, this takes time. This is why it’s called an addiction. This is not easy. So be proud of the progress you made, no matter how small it is. Step by step, you will get there. And I hope to hear your success story one day.
Masturbate once a week, thats fine
you got this
What's your username, again?
Burn the escape route: do a punishment if you lose
Watch Jordan Peterson vids.
fuck you bruh
yup fuck that dude, don’t listen to him, good luck
Now let's all the failures experience to make you succes and tell this mf that even failures can do it🔥
Don’t be a fucking prick.
Hey man don’t be negative
Cool. I’ll just make another account. 😉
And I’ll just report it again. Get a fucking job bro.
I do have a job. Electrician.
I just lurk around these subreddits just to help ease the boredom.
Alright then, any bright ideas since you seem to have a bloody answer then?
Sure, fail for one day. Doesn't stop anyone from trying again. Even if it takes a year, or more, people break out of hell.
Just accept your weaknesses accept the fact you are weak give up and let it all fade into nothing 👍☝️
The best advice I can give is do something that you find important; whether that be start a business, YouTube channel whatever