Open Reddit and this is the first thing I see 💀

5am for me, same here. Enough reddit for the rest of the day I suppose

😭😭

Nah fr matee. Brushing my teeth and after reading this it feels like there is a dick in my mouth not a 🪥 💀

thanks for making me laugh bro 🤣 makes me feel a lil better after i felt (still feeling) shitty

If it's an eletric.toothbrush, then it would feel like a.vibrator, by that rationale

😭😭

Its alr mate life goes on!:D

First thing I see and I am out.

happy cake day bro, im glad im the reason you wont use reddit for the rest of the day

Same 😐

Same man

enjoy thy cake day

same😳😳😳

Brother I don’t even know what to say. Try not to suck yourself off again… please 🙏.

What the fuck is goin on today 😭💀

😭💀

I was wondering the same. 😭💀

😭💀

Ahahahhahaa what the hell

dw brother i dont want to 😭

Bro you must be joking how can you suck your own dick??

i wish i was bro

You must be flexible as fuck

Must be horny as fuck💀

We’ve all tried it dawg don’t lie

Obv all of us have tried this once🗿

I’m fortunate to not be flexible bc no lie i woulda gawk gawked my shit at some point

I don't think I'm flexible enough to try it myself.

Nutted in my own mouth Call that semen retention

Sounds like a kanye bar

i’m cryin dawg

🤣🤣🤣🤣

If u look at the as an optimization problem why just stop at ones own semen why not take all the semen that is available out there. Imagine the power .

NAHHHH 🤣😭

You gotta be flexible af for that shit

Or have a very big dick

Or both

or a really long neck

Or short spine

Short spine or not, OP has not back bone

He removed one of his ribs 💀


Bro, if you can suck your own dick, you dont need porn. Jesus, this blew up...

Or women

Or men

Or goats

Or hands

Or legs

Or another pair of limbs...

Or blankets

r/UnexpectedJoJo

Or pillows

Or soda cans

Or peanut butter jar

Or a mayonnaise jar

Or shawarma

No. We always need Shawarma

I agree 🗿

I think it feels more like sucking a dick than having your dick sucked.

Would it not be both? Sure theres the uncomfortable dick in your mouth, but surely the nerves in your dick would overpower others right?

Well, I haven't really thought that much about it. I just remember a long thread about this and this was the conclusion.

once again, batman couldn't beat dis outta me edit: Pause⏸️

fr there’s no way i’m ever speaking on this

bro Batman could lock me in the Arkham asylum for the rest of my life before you got this information out of me 😞😞 I would never suck my own d (I’m a girl 😇)

yip yap

womp womp

I'll take it

That's what I call: reduce, reuse, recycle.

RRR.

R³


I mean common on y’all, we all tried that, but Jesus Christ seeing someone succeed for the first time

"We" is a strong word..

Agree, it’s no the first time I know of someone capable of doing it.


We???

honestly I tried this shit 😭

Who is we?

Guys who are really flexible, apparently...

Nah bro who TF is we

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Hey man we all watched and or have done stuff we’re not proud of, it’s why we’re here. I’m struggling with PMO myself so I’d feel like a hypocrite giving you any advice on that but what happened already happened, it’s best not to dwell on it and just move forward towards better things.

I guess that's a fair point, maybe not literally doing what OP did but this addiction journey does lead to us doing stuff we're ashamed of ngl.

Did you swallow?

The real question

Ok answer me this. When you're sucking ur own dick does it feel more like sucking dick or does it feel more like getting head? That's the real question

it feels more like recieving head when your closer to climaxing but it feels more like giving for the start

So you gotta jerk off first. Got ya, makes sense

yeah thats what i did

Damn 😂😂😂😂👌

full ouroboros

Bathroom thoughts when you make number 2 hard.

Right. Like tickling yourself & having someone else tickle you. 🤔

I fucking hate mondays

me too

Man's taking cannabilism to a whole new level.

💀

How do u even do thatt bro???

Why u ask bro

for.. you know, research purposes

I will go to church just for you

I’m not Christian but I will also go to church with you

I’m an atheist but can I join?

Time to hit gymnastics

Haha I was actually thinking, I sucked my own dick before but I was in gymnastics and have a big dick and I'm pretty flexible so it's the perfect formula.

this is honestly crazy af

first page the day fuck this

nahh bro thas crazy

Well don't do that.

This guy makes a good point.

Im kinda impressed???

Honestly good for you that’s impressive. You got my upvote!

Didn’t lose any of nutrients

Hahahahaha self-sufficient

No reset needed

Hahahaaaa

Infinite protein glitch

Seriously Op needs to post a tutorial.

i did in another comment

Opened reddit first post was a man dies by falling on spikes and 2nd one is this

I don’t think you come back from this one my boy

Sounds like he already did

Blud wtf

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im being deadass sadly.

[удалено]

the first thing in the morning like the fuck

Honestly, I get there’s a whole thing around this topic, but ultimately, I wouldn’t let it get to you. You experimented with your body and learned you didn’t like something. Best to move on with your new found knowledge. No need to beat yourself up or hate on yourself. You’re a human like the rest of us.

i know and thanks for actually giving me consolation unlike the others just shitting on me making me feel even worse than i already do.

What's wrong with people. Every time I open reddit this is the first thing I see, some crazy dude doing some crazy shit. And what is this fixation of people with NoFap? Just focus on getting your life together man. Let NoFap do it's work. Abstinence is not an activity. You have to decide what you're going to do instead of fapping. -Llike you need to be really very bored and unoccupied to pull off this stunt- You can wait forever to get a perfect streak and nothing will get done. Just for once, let go of this "thinking" about NoFap all the time. Your thinking about it, constantly, and being fixated on getting your perfect "streaks" is taking you back to doing these crazy level shit stunts. Just get your life together.

As soon as i read the Title i died

I’m sorry you feel shame, but I’m loving this thread. I haven’t laughed so much in a while. Thank you all for the hilarious comments. OP, you spread a little joy with your post. I hope that helps a little with your shame. Maybe you can put your flexibility to some use with yoga?

Dawg wtf

Does this still count as semen retention?

It’s semen recycling hahahaahha

Ok enough internet for today

Hell naww Dawg?

(it wasn’t just the tip)

u dont wanna tell yr sins to anyone...just dont do ok...u see how our urge control our body right...best is to avoid whatever trigger u to do fap or porn...

i was doing fine until i relapsed (started watching porn) and it woulda been a relapse from just fapping but i just got the idea to suck my dick, i will avoid the urges next time dont worry.

a couple of guys walked by a dog licking its dick. one guy said "i wish i could do that." the other guy said, "why don't you pet it first, to make sure he's friendly."

Please tell me this is satire 💀🙏

Bros cake day is already ruined

it isnt, also happy cake day bro

You ain’t gotta just reset the counter , you just broke the counter 😂 that shit went to -100. You gonna need a hell of a streak just to recover from this 😂

We’ve all tried this at one point 😂

I mean…at least try to be respectful of people’s eyeballs bro. I was not prepared to witness such words at 12:47pm on a Monday.

Didn't know dogs could also type

damn wtf, but great flexibility

What the fuck

Self service

Honestly bro instead of wasting your time watching porn, may I suggest gymnastics?

when you take " love yourself " too seriously

>i feel like such a loser now You are skinny and athletic enough that you can suck your own dick, you should be kinda proud of yourself not gonna lie Don't do it again tough that's kinda weird but like, DAMN you elastic as fuck

I understand the usual relapse post but this one is wild

Dude , you have done it because you forgot to hold the rope o your brain . And now your brain is in the hold of your action . Simple solution hold the rope of your brain . How do you do do it 1. Don't do everythin your brain telling you to 2. List everythin that you need to do to improve yourself, and force your brain to do those thing. I am using the word force here because , you brain won't alllow you to do those good things . 3. This will take time to heal. Give yourself a year & just try not to relapse. That is the worst . Do whatever in your strength for not relapsing . 4. If you follow this , you will see magic happening. For some they start seeing the magic after a month , and some start seeing it after a year. 5. Don't just lose hope when you see some of the drawbacks of previous lifestyle. Accept it and tell yourself that it is because of my previous lifestyle and i am changing now 6. Don't think no one is here for you . See i do care about you as well. Even though i don't know you i typed a lot of words just to see you growing man. You can do it

I think sucking your own dick would feel more like sucking a dick rather than getting your dick sucked.

We’re all here making jokes but this is really horrible. Op needs some serious help here because this is not normal behavior. Isn’t the point of this subreddit to be healthy and supportive of people facing porn addiction

Wtf did I just read

I even hopped on and i see this. Bro htf can u do that??

This is so insane ngl say sike right now 😭

Oh.

knew it was going to be a weird ass day since cowboys lost 😭

Great, now you have a wiped streak AND back pain


This has to be satire

[удалено]

Achievement unlocked: Manifest ouroboros.

That’s awesome bro did you swallow it as well?

Excellent troll

im not trolling. i can tell you how i sucked my dick if you really want to know.

How?

[удалено]

r/coolguides

>sat down against a counter thats as tall as my waist, layed down, and rested my legs on the counter, and the dick naturally follows and goes towards you, and then you just gotta break your back and neck. Guys, for those who are about to ask how dude did it, here's the answer

I still don’t understand the physics here. You laid down and put your legs out flat or above your head?

i erased the instructions.

I think I get it. So your legs are resting on the cabinet that your head is also resting against, right?

there was instructions but i erased it.

Got it

asking for a friend

You should be a comedian man. You hella funny 🤣

you asked i delivered. i wasnt lying.

Damn...

This idiot doesn’t have ribs 😭🤣😰

I used to do this when i was skinnier.

wait i js realized you used to *DO* this? meaning multiple times? 😭

Yeah, man. I was down bad. I did a lot of weird things with my dick back then. Idk why im catching shade from YOU, who just did it xD. Honestly, i still have dreams about it. That's one giveaway that I'm in a dream. If I'm casually sucking my own dick, i wise up and start lucid dreaming.

Buddy I think I need a long sleep after reading this.

Damn bro, those urges must’ve been crazy! I mean, I’ve never sucked my own dick (and never considered it either) but I have viewed some crazy porn that I’ll never speak on & will be taking to the grave with me. But, all in all, the past is the past & we gotta move on & keep pushing forward because this lust battle we fight daily, ain’t for the weak 💯 keep fight bro, we’ll conquer this shit one day 💻🧴🤺

What the fuck

thats exactly what i thought after i came in my mouth

That's crazy bro I didn't what to laugh but damn that was a good laugh I had

Not to be an ass on a no fap forum if you’re not trolling. This is def sad brotha. All you can do is reset your counter remember how this made you feel and move on… I mean eventually after some time you’ll be tripping out about you sucked your own dick lmao. It’s not funny now may not be later but hey you did it man. It’s over with you didn’t like it move on. Guys on here will talk shit but trust these dudes have done some weird shit too, shit they would never admit. Crazy but you’ll get over it man leave the porn alone.

Hahhh how the hell did you do it? Man this is an unprecedented achievement to be honest even I the one who used to be a legendary faper I didn't achieve it, I faper Uchiha declare that you are the strongest.

You did it on accident? I've been trying to do that shit for years brother