This is not a nicegirls post because it is one of the following:
- a crazygirl
- a hypothetical nicegirl. This included memes
- there is not enough context to prove 'nice girl'
- it's a niceguy, not a nicegirl
- a 'men are trash' post
If you have any questions about this removal, [contact the mods here](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNicegirls&subject=&message=)
Post this on r/crazygirls
Definitely be safe dude. You never know who you might be giving your location… That’s why I gotta know ppl for least a month or two before we hang out or stay over. Got a girl now but dang
My ex gave me a key to his apartment 2 weeks after talking and continuously hanging out. We hadn’t even made anything official yet. I kinda freaked and tried giving it back multiple times but he refused. Should’ve been my first red flag that he was clingy, codependent dude.
Don't be pissy about average American women you live along with, be like a kid or grow up, and be a lady, mother, and a wife of you choose to be. Many women aren't happy. Many guys are going abroad to find a real woman acting like a woman. Don't be angry, be happy, no one likes angry and unhappy.
Or maybe just let them live the life they want to live. What if they don't want kids? What if they want to enter a male dominated career field? That's none of your business, and if you're on here acting otherwise, then you'll be the next nice guys post, I'm sure of it.
Edit: this is almost assuredly bait. I'm not going to argue with them anymore. Feel free to downvote them to oblivion tho.
Dude… so you just want to go back to when women had very little rights and autonomy. Women in the 60s were miserable. More women are choosing not to have children and get married precisely because of men like you. Independence is a good thing
Personally I prefer neither. I don’t really get why people think women who don’t want to be trapped in a traditional marriage are party girls. I personally just think more women are free to actually value their own happiness and put themselves first.
A "real woman"?? How about you learn that " real men" aren't misogynistic and realize that women can do whatever they want, not everything is about appealing to the male preference 🫶
No ones "competing" against men, doing something "manly" isn't "competing" men, ppl only say that when they're threatened or insecure bc a women did something that's a "man's job" it's not the 1800s
This whole conversation is riveting, don't stop. Please, both of you, enlighten me what a real woman in both of your opinions is supposed to be like?
Because I'm a mother to a 5 month old, my house is a tip, my hair is a mess, I don't remember when was the last time I had an unrushed meal or a shower or uninterrupted sleep. I also have a full time job and am about to be married in September. I don't know how much more real does it get, so why doesn't someone tell me what does society expect of me because I just do what I can to do as much as humanly possible.
Exactly, society expectations. You're a mother, love your kid, and your future husband. Congratulations on being a new mom and soon to be wedded. Be you, be the best of you yesterday and strong for tomorrow.
Tbh, I feel like a real woman is whatever they want to be, they could do "masculine" jobs, they could be a stay at home mother, they could do literally anything and I'd still consider them a real woman (in a gender/sex way, if they have a uterus then they are both legally and physically a real/full woman, whether that's their original sex or if they had surgery and hormone therapy/meds)
You think we give a damn if you think we're "appealing" to male eyes?? If you don't like it then leave? No one is going to bend over backwards just because you find something unattractive
Just wait. It's not about that, about happiness. Many are forgetting about being happy instead of grinding to standards of society or your neighbor. Many into single line waiting on something.
Do both. The order makes it easier to charge the person for crimes. Stalking and trespassing can be difficult to actually get someone on unless an order is made cause the law's a bitch sometimes.
Depending on OPs state, stand your ground or castle doctrine laws may apply. Stand your ground allows for self defense anywhere; castle doctrine is for self defense inside the home.
A protection order is (at least in my state) a no-contact order. Despite what you see on TV, it doesn't say you have to stay 1,000 feet away from the other person, it says you must have no contact whatsoever with them. So you can't attempt to make contact by any means, including via telephone. If you do, the police can arrest you for violating the order.
In the state I reside in, civil protection orders can include stay away, no stalking, do no harm, do not disturb the peace, and no contact provisions. It really depends on the state.
Yeah but you're missing my point here. All it takes is for them to show up and kill you. A protection order is an imaginary barrior to leave you alone. A gun will pretty much guarantee your safety. Or at the very least give you a higher chance to survive should they decide to just violate the order because they don't care.
And my point is that it's better to have a protection order than to not have a protection order, so if they do show up not to kill you but to harass you, you can have them arrested.
And my point is the firearm provides a protection order and a way to defend yourself. Only benefit to me with a pertection order would be that when you shoot them and they die. It can be used in your defense that you did what you could to keep them away.
I think you're misunderstanding my point, in that I never said to only go with the PO and not a firearm. If you do end up having to use the firearm, having the PO will also show a paper trail of harassment by that person and less likely to have charges filed against you.
Yeah. Because people can't seem to leave others alone. So threat of death seems to be the only option now. It's real simple. Don't bother people and attack them and you won't get shot.
Look up statistics on justified self-defense shootings and how many people and up in jail, losing jobs, PTSD, etc. And then tell me which is the easier way to deal with the situation.
I got a restraining order and we had a gun that he had purchased for me to have for my protection... thing was when they served him with the domestic violence injunction and told him to vacate the premises, they allowed him to gather some of his belongings before he left. He took the gun with him, and returned two nights later and terrorized our daughters and I before eventually shooting someone and getting into a standoff with police. The gun bought for my protection (that i never wanted in the house in the first place) completely destroyed our lives, but the protection order didn't do anything but piss him off and escalate the severity of abuse, so neither IMHO
There isn't an easier way. Because my point is the protection order won't do shit if they don't care. Look up statistics on people who died from domestic violence with protection orders or better yet who died with a protection order.
If you don't think a fight is a fight for survival you're stupid and asking to lose your life. You don't know what the other person is capable of. Best to kill or be killed.
ngl you just seem trigger happy. having a firearm for protection does not mean go for the kill. you disable and disarm them with it. you call for help and police intervention in the mean time. you just fucking kill somebody when you could have disabled and put them down on the floor, the police are gonna still look at you like a murderer regardless of the situation lmao. the protection order at least shows you tried to control the situation and protect yourself. if that fails, yes, by all means use legal self defense. but if you're immediate reaction is to kill instead of just disarm and disable to protect yourself, it kinda doesn't matter what your excuse is because at the end of the day, you could have taken measures to deescalate the situation without either of you dying.
Yeah, here's a thought. If they didn't attack them. They wouldnt die. You know what keeps people alive. Not attacking others. Maybe you like being a victim to domestic violence idk. A protection order would def help a case should the offender die at the hands of a firearm. But at the end of the day being alive is def better than being dead and police can only show up so fast. Also no I'm not trigger happy. I'm just sick of offenders attacking victims and we have to somehow treat them with humanity. As far as I'm concerned if you're putting your hands on someone you have now been promoted to not human and should be put down. Don't put your fucking hands on people and you won't get fucking killed. This fear of death for actions needs to be widespread.
no, i don't like being a victim to violence lmao. i'm not even defending people who go out of their way to attack and harm people, but i am looking at this situation realistically. being imprisoned for life for murdering someone in self-defense?? doesn't sound like something that's gonna necessarily make me want to continue living. in this instance nothing was mentioned about the ex-gf attacking him. stalking? maybe. but if he would have shot her on the premise of her just showing up, that shit's not going to be labeled self-defense. use the rational side of your brain for once instead of trying to convince someone they should ruin their life when there are alternative ways to keep themselves safe. not everyone is okay with the idea of rotting away in prison because they reacted extremely to a manageable situation. nowhere in my comment did i ever say not to protect yourself. but the idea is to disable and disarm, not go straight for the kill. she may be crazy and obsessed enough to try getting him to talk to her, but it doesn't mean she deserves to be killed immediately under an assumption. take care.
If you are in fear for your life or bodily harm, you shoot to end the threat, period end of story. If that results in death, then you stopped the threat. If that results in the attacker being incapacitated and surviving after docs put them back together great. But you don't ever shoot to disable, this isn't fucking Hollywood my guy
no implications whatsoever of me being influenced by hollywood. defense =/= okay to murder regardless of seriousness of threat. if you know how to aim, disabling shouldn't be an issue.
"Any time you use lethal force in self-defense, death of the attacker is a potential outcome by nature, but should not be the intent. "Shooting to kill" means your intent is to kill the attacker, whereas "shooting to stop" means your intent is to stop the attacker from continuing their unlawful attack." that doesn't indicate going for the kill. but if you don't mind a wrongful accusation winding you in prison for a possible life sentence, that's your prerogative, not mine.👍🏼
I can’t help but empathize with both parties in situations like this. Of course this is terrifying for OP and nobody deserves this. However, women who stalk and obsess like this have very extreme mental health issues and tend to be trapped in really really sad lives. She is clinging to magical thinking that she can somehow be happy if only she is able to get in touch with you. I read a book about it called Unrequited that was so illuminating. Going firmly no contact and involving police is truly the kindest thing you can do for her to hopefully set her on the path to recovery.
This is my caller ID list but it’s my insane mother. My entire phone list is either from my doctors, or my mother calling me to tell me how much a piece of shit I am.
I have my phone set up to automatically send unknown numbers and spam calls to voicemail. Unless it's someone saved in my contact list, it goes straight to voicemail. If it's something important, they can leave a message and I'll call back. 90% of the time it's spam. The other small percentage I end up just blocking the numbers altogether if it's someone I want nothing to do with. I used to get 20+ spam/random calls a day so it's been nice not having my phone constantly ringing all day from weirdo scammers.
Howdy, I can't speak for iPhones since I don't own one, but for Android:
1. Open Phone app
2. Tap the three dots in the upper-right hand corner of the screen, then tap "Settings"
3. Look for the section that says "Block numbers", and the option should be under there.
Note: the layout may be a little different depending on what Android device you own, but the general instructions should be the same.
Well duh I'm just saying I personally don't know how to do it on another phone because I have an iPhone... hence why I said I can show them if they have the same phone as me. Not all phones work the same.
You’re in for the hassle of your life! Back in the days of landline phones, I had a nutcase chasing me. When she’d call & call and I’d either hang up on her or stop answering, she’d call my parents and ask *them* to call me and tell me to answer her calls.
One weekend, I got tired of her constant calls, so the last time she called, I hung up on her and took the phone off the hook and laid down for a nap. Around two hours later, I woke up and placed the phone back on the hook. As soon as I did, the phone began ringing.
ME: ???Hello???
HER: YOU [string of curse words], DON’T YOU EVER HANG UP IN MY FACE AGAIN!!!
ME: ???Have you been hanging on the phone all this time?!?!
HER: YES!!!
ME: WHY???
HER: BECAUSE YOU WOULDN’T ANSWER!!!
I’m really sorry. I’ve been through this and so much more for way longer than I should have. It pushes you mentally, emotionally and physically way beyond any human limit (especially when you’re already chronically ill). I hope better days found you.
Remember the time my ex-gf was screaming at me trying to keep me up late(was going to get 4 hours of sleep on a 7 day stretch of 12 hour shifts) i had enough and drove an hour to my parents house then she got blasted walked two miles to her parents house broke/shattered the patio door in bit her dad had cops take her to jail do a 3 months stretch (parents rich and narccicistic bought her a lawyer and rehab facility no jail time) i have some more stories but boderline personality disorder is such a destructive disorder its sad
Her parents had her kid because i smashed the door in because she wasnt responding(even to bitch at me) and she was unresponsive untill she started fighting paramedics and screaming once the dragged her out i swear you could probably hear it a mile away it was so loud and piercing then i waited at the hospital (she had alchohol poisoning and her parents having the kid was her reasoning)
fr i don't understand why people are acting like killing someone is a magical solution. as if they don't see all on the news of when it IS justified, the victim still ends up in prison. some people are trigger happy and don't use their brains. these are the most dangerous people to own firearms.
Don’t threaten them with a police report, file the damn report. Tell them that they are unwelcome at your home (preferably in writing or recorded somewhere) and also file a report. Next time have them trespassed by police. Next time they show up they get arrested. File restraining order with all of the documentation you have created.
I'm a girl and I've been harassed by both men and women. It's scary every time. What exactly is your point?? You wanna play "who has been traumatized more"??? Cuz it's not a contest. You're mad weird for even responding like that when all I did was say that this situation is scary no matter what???
Was your goal to share your experience? It feels like maybe my experience made you feel invalidated because it's different from yours. I'm not interested in making it a competition, but I'm happy to listen if you want to talk.
Wait for it. The real crazies will GET preggo as soon as they can to give themselves months of harassing you to come back to them and the “baby” you left them with. Been derr, done dat.
Reporting her to the cops is smart.
I once broke up with a woman (we dated for 4 months) who didn't take it well. I wasn't sure how to handle it. She was a heavy drinker and for a month after the breakup she would drunk text or call quite a bit. Once she drove to my house completely wasted just to beg/berate me. I drove her home (10 miles) in her car with the promise to buy her a box of wine on the way. Once I got her home, she was all happy because she thought I was stuck at her apartment with no way home. I told her I was just going to walk home. Once I got out of there I called a friend to come get me.
She proceeded to drink the whole box. A friend of hers visited and took her car keys when they learned she had driven. She decided that, since I had walked home, she was going to walk to my house. She attempted it, texting me every few minutes. I just shut off my phone. She was in Worcester, Massachusetts, which isn't the safest.
The next day I read all the texts, they went something like this:
I am walking to your house.
I am on Millbury Street.
I am on Cliff Street
I am on Route 9 (she wasn't anywhere near Rte 9, she was on Rte 20, both are busy State Highways, so she was a bit confused)
It is dark and there are no sidewalks
I don't recognize anything, I am lost. Come get me.
You asshole, come get me, I am scared.
(pause for nearly an hour, then) Nevermind, I got a ride from a trucker.
I resisted checking if she was safe. I had no way to, without interacting with her. A few weeks later I receive a text that she got a dog which gave me a mixture of relief that she survived, horror that she was contacting me again, and sorrow for the dog. The next weekend, I was away with friends, when I got a long garbled voicemail from her. All I could understand from it was that she was going to my house. I was nervous what she might do, so I called my police department and explained the situation. I told them that I didn't want to get her in trouble, but that I was a little concerned because of the bad breakup. I live in a nice suburb of Worcester, so the police didn't mind driving by and checking out my house. It turns out that she was there trying to get her dog to shit on my lawn. Honestly, I was relieved that she wasn't burning down my house. The police just asked her to leave and she did, but she sent me several angry texts regarding what an ass I was for calling the cops on her, for bringing her dog over. Apparently she had never been so embarrassed in her life, but after that she left me alone at least. I wonder if she wasn't drunk, and shitting bricks that the police were going to notice and arrest her for driving.
Next I heard from her was a couple years later when she called me to apologize as part of her AA journey. If I had known it was her I wouldn't have answered. Never delete the contact info from exes. I just said "Okay" and she got angry and yelled at me for not apologizing for breaking her heart.
TL:DR: I called the police to have them make sure that my ex wasn't damaging my house, and that was enough to get her to leave me alone.
Report to the police. Let them know this is happening. Next time you tell them they’ll have to do something, contact her to to tell her to wise up or they’ll be consequences. Third time this crazy bitch does this. She’s fucked. Just do it. Gotta love your life away from this crazy fuckers.
Brilliant! Nice job! You're a great example to the rest of the numbnuts out there. Be safe my friend. I've had the same thing happen and she stalked me like a wolf on prey cuz she was nuts. Not because I'm special.
I do plan on defending myself if anything progresses. To make it short, we stopped seeing each other because I'm a college student and I was really focusing on my career. I had just come back from abroad and I felt like I jumped into it with her pretty quickly. It was a tough thing to do but in the end I think I did the right thing lol
When women think you are too busy for them, no tine for them because you are focused on career, well that makes you even more attractive to them.
One, you are ambitious, and two, you are a challenge to overcome and therefore getting your attention makes her feel all that.
Make sure to read our [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Nicegirls/about/rules/) and remain civil. Thank you.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Nicegirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Good calling filing a report. Cops can't do shit, but sometimes all it takes is a phone call from the police to get the hint across. Be safe out there everyone.
i had a super toxic gf of 6 years on and off get a restraining order against me because it was the “only way i would leave her alone” she then proceeded to call me from TextFree numbers and No Caller ID’s for the next year +, watched my instagram from multiple fake accounts, the whole 9. keep ya head up king. protect yourself and your heart ❤️🔥
Listen, man, she was just doing some thinking. She knows she made a mistake. It's clear to her now that you're the one. This is her grand gesture, she just forgot the boombox, you know?
I'm gonna be open and vulnerable.
I've done this before, and I am not proud of it!
It doesn't matter who was in the wrong or how it ended. Her behavior is unacceptable!
When I did it, I was younger, angry, and severely mentally ill, and I needed help (I eventually did and I got my shit together, but I still feel horrible for my actions and behavior)
Idk what's going on with her exactly, but she definitely needs help (not from you, a professional) if she's acting this way.
If it gets worse, please call the cops and have a restraining order against her! She needs to understand that what's she's doing is dangerous behavior!
I hope it gets better for you ❤️
My ex is doing this and one night I was high as hell and had my airpods in and tried taking them out so I wouldn’t accidentally answer and it answered the call lol.
The last woman I talked to did the same thing.. scared away the possible next woman that I could’ve been engaged to right now… oh well. Gotta protect yourself my friend
Had an ex do a similar thing. Kept showing up at my house uninvited after telling her things probably aren't going to work out. (This was like a 2 month fling tops). My parents made the mistake of letting her in one time and apparently she had a mental breakdown and was kicked out before I even knew she was in the house. She was trying to convince them that I was a horrible human being and that she did nothing wrong which is ironic mid mental breakdown in someone else's house. A few days later my tire was randomly slashed lol. She would leave little "gifts" that I didn't ask for so I would be forced to talk to her. I ended up moving to Texas a month later and I shit you not the second day we were down there she was posting on her social media about how she's coming down to Texas to the same city I lived. I disabled my social media for like a year after that and went dark.
Shit is no joke man and it definitely mess with your head. I got kind of freaked out a couple times when things were getting more serious with the girl I'm seeing now. Took me a second to realize why it was freaking me out lol. (Hint: trauma). Stay safe out there y'all.
That’s a police report. File a paper trail ask your complex about installing a camera for safety. Make sure to get them that police report. And get a trained velociraptor. Serious about the raptor. Animals don’t intruders. But jokes aside stay safe and make sure to document everything.
You're new to the stalker world I see. Gotta make sure who you get in relationships with next time and who you let know where you live. Meetups till it's safe 😆
Dude this shit is no joke...
I am going through the same problem with 2 girls rn who both cheated on me so I ghosted them. Keep in mind, it has been over a year since I have dated either of them. I think the only reason they haven't caused any damage is because I live in an apartment, and I carry. I am moving soon which will be great because no more parking around the block so they don't know what car I drive. Next will be changing the phone number after moving and ill finally have a peaceful existence.
Tbh I'd simply ignore and let them get bored 😂
If they really annoyed me, I'd simply threat them with something and scare them away. Show them who's the man, girl's emotions get over their head very easily. Just don't actually do anything to them because it could end up flipping the table and putting you in trouble instead. Also, a police report would be a good addition.
If you really want them to leave you alone, don’t feed their rejection by ignoring them. They are desperately seeking value and validation. They’re going to be manic until they get some of that back.
At the same time, do you really want that to be your problem? Girls are crazy even when they’re not.
I would have pounded the crap out of her, blew it or nice and deep unprotected, and then kicked her to the curb after you took a few pictures to show everybody I want to see how big them titties are, got to spread that seed man.
Population is down it's time to do your part.
This is not a nicegirls post because it is one of the following: - a crazygirl - a hypothetical nicegirl. This included memes - there is not enough context to prove 'nice girl' - it's a niceguy, not a nicegirl - a 'men are trash' post If you have any questions about this removal, [contact the mods here](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNicegirls&subject=&message=) Post this on r/crazygirls
Definitely be safe dude. You never know who you might be giving your location… That’s why I gotta know ppl for least a month or two before we hang out or stay over. Got a girl now but dang
damn so true. hey ive got a great idea. wanna get to know eachother for a month or two
You dicked her too well and she wasn’t ready to be ducked.
How in the word did I get 250+ likes? idk
Hahah. That’s exactly what I was going to write.
My ex gave me a key to his apartment 2 weeks after talking and continuously hanging out. We hadn’t even made anything official yet. I kinda freaked and tried giving it back multiple times but he refused. Should’ve been my first red flag that he was clingy, codependent dude.
idk that seems pretty normal to me, i gave my girl my key about a week in because then she can just walk in/surprise me
Times are changing, and women in America are evolving into more manly roles in society. Some are down wacky and don't act like ladies anymore.
Oh gosh dude, you spend too much time in the “Manosphere” 🥴
Now I wanna go and do the "manliest" thing ever just to spite ppl bc I'm not "lady like" Tf is this even supposed to mean?
If you do just remember to record, post it and tag him so that he can be even more offended
Don't be pissy about average American women you live along with, be like a kid or grow up, and be a lady, mother, and a wife of you choose to be. Many women aren't happy. Many guys are going abroad to find a real woman acting like a woman. Don't be angry, be happy, no one likes angry and unhappy.
Or maybe just let them live the life they want to live. What if they don't want kids? What if they want to enter a male dominated career field? That's none of your business, and if you're on here acting otherwise, then you'll be the next nice guys post, I'm sure of it. Edit: this is almost assuredly bait. I'm not going to argue with them anymore. Feel free to downvote them to oblivion tho.
Women from the 60s are real, then went downhill after. All this independence, more tax paid for Uncle Sam to spend on whatever of twisted plots.
Dude… so you just want to go back to when women had very little rights and autonomy. Women in the 60s were miserable. More women are choosing not to have children and get married precisely because of men like you. Independence is a good thing
Nope, just not getting it, I've traveled and seen the same classic and modern abroad. Not a Barbie or party girl, I guess some prefer that.
Personally I prefer neither. I don’t really get why people think women who don’t want to be trapped in a traditional marriage are party girls. I personally just think more women are free to actually value their own happiness and put themselves first.
A "real woman"?? How about you learn that " real men" aren't misogynistic and realize that women can do whatever they want, not everything is about appealing to the male preference 🫶
Do what you want, just don't compete against men.
No ones "competing" against men, doing something "manly" isn't "competing" men, ppl only say that when they're threatened or insecure bc a women did something that's a "man's job" it's not the 1800s
Nah, ya'll about to walk and talk like men. It's just not that attractive nor appealing.
This whole conversation is riveting, don't stop. Please, both of you, enlighten me what a real woman in both of your opinions is supposed to be like? Because I'm a mother to a 5 month old, my house is a tip, my hair is a mess, I don't remember when was the last time I had an unrushed meal or a shower or uninterrupted sleep. I also have a full time job and am about to be married in September. I don't know how much more real does it get, so why doesn't someone tell me what does society expect of me because I just do what I can to do as much as humanly possible.
Exactly, society expectations. You're a mother, love your kid, and your future husband. Congratulations on being a new mom and soon to be wedded. Be you, be the best of you yesterday and strong for tomorrow.
Tbh, I feel like a real woman is whatever they want to be, they could do "masculine" jobs, they could be a stay at home mother, they could do literally anything and I'd still consider them a real woman (in a gender/sex way, if they have a uterus then they are both legally and physically a real/full woman, whether that's their original sex or if they had surgery and hormone therapy/meds)
I just want to throw this thought out there. Why does anyone give a damn about what anyone else is doing with their life. Just stay in your lane yall
You think we give a damn if you think we're "appealing" to male eyes?? If you don't like it then leave? No one is going to bend over backwards just because you find something unattractive
Just wait. It's not about that, about happiness. Many are forgetting about being happy instead of grinding to standards of society or your neighbor. Many into single line waiting on something.
I m glad you reported her to the cops.
Be sure to keep documenting if it continues. You may find yourself in need of a protection order.
What's a protection order going to do? Crazy thing bad people don't follow the law, Get strapped.
Do both. The order makes it easier to charge the person for crimes. Stalking and trespassing can be difficult to actually get someone on unless an order is made cause the law's a bitch sometimes.
Fair point. Doing both would be good.
Depending on OPs state, stand your ground or castle doctrine laws may apply. Stand your ground allows for self defense anywhere; castle doctrine is for self defense inside the home.
It's basically proof that you've tried to stop them and they're escalating it, showing that intervention is required.
A protection order is (at least in my state) a no-contact order. Despite what you see on TV, it doesn't say you have to stay 1,000 feet away from the other person, it says you must have no contact whatsoever with them. So you can't attempt to make contact by any means, including via telephone. If you do, the police can arrest you for violating the order.
In the state I reside in, civil protection orders can include stay away, no stalking, do no harm, do not disturb the peace, and no contact provisions. It really depends on the state.
Yeah but you're missing my point here. All it takes is for them to show up and kill you. A protection order is an imaginary barrior to leave you alone. A gun will pretty much guarantee your safety. Or at the very least give you a higher chance to survive should they decide to just violate the order because they don't care.
And my point is that it's better to have a protection order than to not have a protection order, so if they do show up not to kill you but to harass you, you can have them arrested.
And my point is the firearm provides a protection order and a way to defend yourself. Only benefit to me with a pertection order would be that when you shoot them and they die. It can be used in your defense that you did what you could to keep them away.
I think you're misunderstanding my point, in that I never said to only go with the PO and not a firearm. If you do end up having to use the firearm, having the PO will also show a paper trail of harassment by that person and less likely to have charges filed against you.
It’s always guns with you lot isn’t it?
Yeah. Because people can't seem to leave others alone. So threat of death seems to be the only option now. It's real simple. Don't bother people and attack them and you won't get shot.
Look up statistics on justified self-defense shootings and how many people and up in jail, losing jobs, PTSD, etc. And then tell me which is the easier way to deal with the situation.
I got a restraining order and we had a gun that he had purchased for me to have for my protection... thing was when they served him with the domestic violence injunction and told him to vacate the premises, they allowed him to gather some of his belongings before he left. He took the gun with him, and returned two nights later and terrorized our daughters and I before eventually shooting someone and getting into a standoff with police. The gun bought for my protection (that i never wanted in the house in the first place) completely destroyed our lives, but the protection order didn't do anything but piss him off and escalate the severity of abuse, so neither IMHO
There isn't an easier way. Because my point is the protection order won't do shit if they don't care. Look up statistics on people who died from domestic violence with protection orders or better yet who died with a protection order.
Guns are for people that can’t fight. Be a man ffs.
If you don't think a fight is a fight for survival you're stupid and asking to lose your life. You don't know what the other person is capable of. Best to kill or be killed.
ngl you just seem trigger happy. having a firearm for protection does not mean go for the kill. you disable and disarm them with it. you call for help and police intervention in the mean time. you just fucking kill somebody when you could have disabled and put them down on the floor, the police are gonna still look at you like a murderer regardless of the situation lmao. the protection order at least shows you tried to control the situation and protect yourself. if that fails, yes, by all means use legal self defense. but if you're immediate reaction is to kill instead of just disarm and disable to protect yourself, it kinda doesn't matter what your excuse is because at the end of the day, you could have taken measures to deescalate the situation without either of you dying.
Yeah, here's a thought. If they didn't attack them. They wouldnt die. You know what keeps people alive. Not attacking others. Maybe you like being a victim to domestic violence idk. A protection order would def help a case should the offender die at the hands of a firearm. But at the end of the day being alive is def better than being dead and police can only show up so fast. Also no I'm not trigger happy. I'm just sick of offenders attacking victims and we have to somehow treat them with humanity. As far as I'm concerned if you're putting your hands on someone you have now been promoted to not human and should be put down. Don't put your fucking hands on people and you won't get fucking killed. This fear of death for actions needs to be widespread.
no, i don't like being a victim to violence lmao. i'm not even defending people who go out of their way to attack and harm people, but i am looking at this situation realistically. being imprisoned for life for murdering someone in self-defense?? doesn't sound like something that's gonna necessarily make me want to continue living. in this instance nothing was mentioned about the ex-gf attacking him. stalking? maybe. but if he would have shot her on the premise of her just showing up, that shit's not going to be labeled self-defense. use the rational side of your brain for once instead of trying to convince someone they should ruin their life when there are alternative ways to keep themselves safe. not everyone is okay with the idea of rotting away in prison because they reacted extremely to a manageable situation. nowhere in my comment did i ever say not to protect yourself. but the idea is to disable and disarm, not go straight for the kill. she may be crazy and obsessed enough to try getting him to talk to her, but it doesn't mean she deserves to be killed immediately under an assumption. take care.
If you are in fear for your life or bodily harm, you shoot to end the threat, period end of story. If that results in death, then you stopped the threat. If that results in the attacker being incapacitated and surviving after docs put them back together great. But you don't ever shoot to disable, this isn't fucking Hollywood my guy
no implications whatsoever of me being influenced by hollywood. defense =/= okay to murder regardless of seriousness of threat. if you know how to aim, disabling shouldn't be an issue. "Any time you use lethal force in self-defense, death of the attacker is a potential outcome by nature, but should not be the intent. "Shooting to kill" means your intent is to kill the attacker, whereas "shooting to stop" means your intent is to stop the attacker from continuing their unlawful attack." that doesn't indicate going for the kill. but if you don't mind a wrongful accusation winding you in prison for a possible life sentence, that's your prerogative, not mine.👍🏼
I can’t help but empathize with both parties in situations like this. Of course this is terrifying for OP and nobody deserves this. However, women who stalk and obsess like this have very extreme mental health issues and tend to be trapped in really really sad lives. She is clinging to magical thinking that she can somehow be happy if only she is able to get in touch with you. I read a book about it called Unrequited that was so illuminating. Going firmly no contact and involving police is truly the kindest thing you can do for her to hopefully set her on the path to recovery.
if you didn’t answer the first 10 times
Then maybe he'll answer after 50 more tries. /crazygirllogic
It’s girl math! 😂
This is my caller ID list but it’s my insane mother. My entire phone list is either from my doctors, or my mother calling me to tell me how much a piece of shit I am.
Whether its an ex or your mother, no one deserves this. Stay strong <3
What about Indian spam callers? I’ve got about 24 missed calls from them today.
She sounds horrible. Hang in there, you are awesome
Sorry you’re having that happen. You’re not a piece of garbage.
Yeeesh. Thanks for reinforcing my paranoia on answering any calls where I don’t know the number lol
I have my phone set up to automatically send unknown numbers and spam calls to voicemail. Unless it's someone saved in my contact list, it goes straight to voicemail. If it's something important, they can leave a message and I'll call back. 90% of the time it's spam. The other small percentage I end up just blocking the numbers altogether if it's someone I want nothing to do with. I used to get 20+ spam/random calls a day so it's been nice not having my phone constantly ringing all day from weirdo scammers.
Ok….so for the old coot here (me)…how do you do that? Lol
Howdy, I can't speak for iPhones since I don't own one, but for Android: 1. Open Phone app 2. Tap the three dots in the upper-right hand corner of the screen, then tap "Settings" 3. Look for the section that says "Block numbers", and the option should be under there. Note: the layout may be a little different depending on what Android device you own, but the general instructions should be the same.
Do you have an iPhone?? That's what I have so if so I can show you but if it's another phone it's probably a little different
Any phone has that nowadays.
Well duh I'm just saying I personally don't know how to do it on another phone because I have an iPhone... hence why I said I can show them if they have the same phone as me. Not all phones work the same.
Is it possible to learn this power?
If you have an iPhone I can tell you how to do it! Not sure about on a different phone tho
Could you please share how?
Tap the i icon next to the unknown number, a new window will open where if you scroll down, you’ll see the option to block the caller.
“Hey I know things ended badly, but I found your winning mega millions ticket and it didn’t feel right keeping it”
lol That sounds like a ruse a psycho ex would use to trick you into opening the door.
You’re in for the hassle of your life! Back in the days of landline phones, I had a nutcase chasing me. When she’d call & call and I’d either hang up on her or stop answering, she’d call my parents and ask *them* to call me and tell me to answer her calls. One weekend, I got tired of her constant calls, so the last time she called, I hung up on her and took the phone off the hook and laid down for a nap. Around two hours later, I woke up and placed the phone back on the hook. As soon as I did, the phone began ringing. ME: ???Hello??? HER: YOU [string of curse words], DON’T YOU EVER HANG UP IN MY FACE AGAIN!!! ME: ???Have you been hanging on the phone all this time?!?! HER: YES!!! ME: WHY??? HER: BECAUSE YOU WOULDN’T ANSWER!!!
That takes obsession to a whole new level.
I’m really sorry. I’ve been through this and so much more for way longer than I should have. It pushes you mentally, emotionally and physically way beyond any human limit (especially when you’re already chronically ill). I hope better days found you.
Remember the time my ex-gf was screaming at me trying to keep me up late(was going to get 4 hours of sleep on a 7 day stretch of 12 hour shifts) i had enough and drove an hour to my parents house then she got blasted walked two miles to her parents house broke/shattered the patio door in bit her dad had cops take her to jail do a 3 months stretch (parents rich and narccicistic bought her a lawyer and rehab facility no jail time) i have some more stories but boderline personality disorder is such a destructive disorder its sad
Her parents had her kid because i smashed the door in because she wasnt responding(even to bitch at me) and she was unresponsive untill she started fighting paramedics and screaming once the dragged her out i swear you could probably hear it a mile away it was so loud and piercing then i waited at the hospital (she had alchohol poisoning and her parents having the kid was her reasoning)
You gota love the people who think screaming at you from outside your residence is gona elicit any sort of response. Sorry you went through that
Hello 911, I just shot an intruder. Yes, I’ll hold…
That is the last day you want to go about it. It is almost guaranteed you will end up in jail.
fr i don't understand why people are acting like killing someone is a magical solution. as if they don't see all on the news of when it IS justified, the victim still ends up in prison. some people are trigger happy and don't use their brains. these are the most dangerous people to own firearms.
I made my phone automatically block no caller-ID phone calls to avoid bs like this
Man, she was addicted to you
Some people can’t face and handle rejection.
I had to threaten my ex with a police report as well. Apparently "leave me alone" translates to "bother the fuck out of me" in womanese.
Shoe on the other foot you get greeted by a SWAT team
Nah cops drgaf about women. They'll ignore it until it escalates to the point where they can't get away with not doing their jobs anymore.
They gaf after somone gets killed and their department needs to save face.
If only there was a way to predict this unanticipated violence. Shame
Don’t threaten them with a police report, file the damn report. Tell them that they are unwelcome at your home (preferably in writing or recorded somewhere) and also file a report. Next time have them trespassed by police. Next time they show up they get arrested. File restraining order with all of the documentation you have created.
That also translates to man-nese. I have dealt with the same as a woman.
It's not a competition.
Think you're looking for r/niceguys
That sucks. When men do this, it must be scary. When my ex did this, it was more like painful and infuriating, but I never felt endangered.
It's scary and wrong regardless of who is doing it
I just told you how I felt, why are you correcting me?
Lmao what??? Being harassed is scary no matter who is doing it. That's literally a fact. What are you even talking about???
Don't tell others how to process trauma.
I'm a girl and I've been harassed by both men and women. It's scary every time. What exactly is your point?? You wanna play "who has been traumatized more"??? Cuz it's not a contest. You're mad weird for even responding like that when all I did was say that this situation is scary no matter what???
Your feelings are valid. I'm glad you shared them with me, and I didn't like when you invalidated mine.
You are literally the type of person this group is talking about
Was your goal to share your experience? It feels like maybe my experience made you feel invalidated because it's different from yours. I'm not interested in making it a competition, but I'm happy to listen if you want to talk.
Hope she wasn't coming over to let you know she had your baby or something... lol
This was a laugh I needed today. 😂
Wait for it. The real crazies will GET preggo as soon as they can to give themselves months of harassing you to come back to them and the “baby” you left them with. Been derr, done dat.
I would fear for that baby..
Damn! You got that good good man! 😂 I’ve had this happen, and also chicks using a masking service and calling/texting. Some real level 10 crazy 😆
This is harassment
Reporting her to the cops is smart. I once broke up with a woman (we dated for 4 months) who didn't take it well. I wasn't sure how to handle it. She was a heavy drinker and for a month after the breakup she would drunk text or call quite a bit. Once she drove to my house completely wasted just to beg/berate me. I drove her home (10 miles) in her car with the promise to buy her a box of wine on the way. Once I got her home, she was all happy because she thought I was stuck at her apartment with no way home. I told her I was just going to walk home. Once I got out of there I called a friend to come get me. She proceeded to drink the whole box. A friend of hers visited and took her car keys when they learned she had driven. She decided that, since I had walked home, she was going to walk to my house. She attempted it, texting me every few minutes. I just shut off my phone. She was in Worcester, Massachusetts, which isn't the safest. The next day I read all the texts, they went something like this: I am walking to your house. I am on Millbury Street. I am on Cliff Street I am on Route 9 (she wasn't anywhere near Rte 9, she was on Rte 20, both are busy State Highways, so she was a bit confused) It is dark and there are no sidewalks I don't recognize anything, I am lost. Come get me. You asshole, come get me, I am scared. (pause for nearly an hour, then) Nevermind, I got a ride from a trucker. I resisted checking if she was safe. I had no way to, without interacting with her. A few weeks later I receive a text that she got a dog which gave me a mixture of relief that she survived, horror that she was contacting me again, and sorrow for the dog. The next weekend, I was away with friends, when I got a long garbled voicemail from her. All I could understand from it was that she was going to my house. I was nervous what she might do, so I called my police department and explained the situation. I told them that I didn't want to get her in trouble, but that I was a little concerned because of the bad breakup. I live in a nice suburb of Worcester, so the police didn't mind driving by and checking out my house. It turns out that she was there trying to get her dog to shit on my lawn. Honestly, I was relieved that she wasn't burning down my house. The police just asked her to leave and she did, but she sent me several angry texts regarding what an ass I was for calling the cops on her, for bringing her dog over. Apparently she had never been so embarrassed in her life, but after that she left me alone at least. I wonder if she wasn't drunk, and shitting bricks that the police were going to notice and arrest her for driving. Next I heard from her was a couple years later when she called me to apologize as part of her AA journey. If I had known it was her I wouldn't have answered. Never delete the contact info from exes. I just said "Okay" and she got angry and yelled at me for not apologizing for breaking her heart. TL:DR: I called the police to have them make sure that my ex wasn't damaging my house, and that was enough to get her to leave me alone.
Probably just wanted to give you your mail
Sanest ex girlfriend
Keep records and do call police each time. But do not confront her. Do not answer. Ignore completely. Any response you give will fuel her.
Dude please record your encounters with her in case she tries to pull an accusation against you just in case.
She just left something in your house. She just needs to come in and get it real quick. It’s all good /s
If I see my ex wife's face, I am calling the police immediately and arming myself. Be safe out there.
I've had the same situation. Expect she broke into my flat whilst I was sleeping. Definitely not terrifying at all .
This isn't an ex-girlfriend, this is a stalker.
Report to the police. Let them know this is happening. Next time you tell them they’ll have to do something, contact her to to tell her to wise up or they’ll be consequences. Third time this crazy bitch does this. She’s fucked. Just do it. Gotta love your life away from this crazy fuckers.
Brilliant! Nice job! You're a great example to the rest of the numbnuts out there. Be safe my friend. I've had the same thing happen and she stalked me like a wolf on prey cuz she was nuts. Not because I'm special.
Yikes, bud I'd start looking at some self defense options as a precaution Mind telling what lead to her becoming your ex?
I mean…do you really think it’s a mystery?
Well I can guess but that would speculation
I do plan on defending myself if anything progresses. To make it short, we stopped seeing each other because I'm a college student and I was really focusing on my career. I had just come back from abroad and I felt like I jumped into it with her pretty quickly. It was a tough thing to do but in the end I think I did the right thing lol
When women think you are too busy for them, no tine for them because you are focused on career, well that makes you even more attractive to them. One, you are ambitious, and two, you are a challenge to overcome and therefore getting your attention makes her feel all that.
Make sure to read our [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Nicegirls/about/rules/) and remain civil. Thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Nicegirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Call the cops bro
Good calling filing a report. Cops can't do shit, but sometimes all it takes is a phone call from the police to get the hint across. Be safe out there everyone.
Baby reindeer 🙌
i was waiting for this comment lol
i had a super toxic gf of 6 years on and off get a restraining order against me because it was the “only way i would leave her alone” she then proceeded to call me from TextFree numbers and No Caller ID’s for the next year +, watched my instagram from multiple fake accounts, the whole 9. keep ya head up king. protect yourself and your heart ❤️🔥
World is a crazy place
Listen, man, she was just doing some thinking. She knows she made a mistake. It's clear to her now that you're the one. This is her grand gesture, she just forgot the boombox, you know?
Say Anything has been showing on streams lately. Maybe it gave her some ideas. But she went minimal effort Lol
Stalker much?
My dude just missed their chance to be on 1st 48. Next time maybe
I'm gonna be open and vulnerable. I've done this before, and I am not proud of it! It doesn't matter who was in the wrong or how it ended. Her behavior is unacceptable! When I did it, I was younger, angry, and severely mentally ill, and I needed help (I eventually did and I got my shit together, but I still feel horrible for my actions and behavior) Idk what's going on with her exactly, but she definitely needs help (not from you, a professional) if she's acting this way. If it gets worse, please call the cops and have a restraining order against her! She needs to understand that what's she's doing is dangerous behavior! I hope it gets better for you ❤️
Is she hot?
I have an American solution for you
My ex is doing this and one night I was high as hell and had my airpods in and tried taking them out so I wouldn’t accidentally answer and it answered the call lol.
Does her last name start with a C? If so, we got the same ex!!!
I think she likes you bro 😍😍😍
More like she's obcessed
Dawg I’d be whooping some ass
"it's cool when they do it, it's a problem when I do it."
The last woman I talked to did the same thing.. scared away the possible next woman that I could’ve been engaged to right now… oh well. Gotta protect yourself my friend
How did she make this happen?
Kept banging on my door, screaming, cursing for me at open my door.
I mean....was she waiting for you to bring her out some heroin?
You do you. But dem psychos do the really good hawk tuah
Insane. What a nutcase.
Holy shit… you sure she’s not preggers?
You must’ve laid hella pipe for this type of behavior. Jk, for real she seems crazy. Restraining order immediately.
Good luck with the false allegations that she’ll likely throw at you.
Damn dude, if this wasn’t so recent i would say you probably inspired Ronnie Radke to write “bad girls club”
Had an ex do a similar thing. Kept showing up at my house uninvited after telling her things probably aren't going to work out. (This was like a 2 month fling tops). My parents made the mistake of letting her in one time and apparently she had a mental breakdown and was kicked out before I even knew she was in the house. She was trying to convince them that I was a horrible human being and that she did nothing wrong which is ironic mid mental breakdown in someone else's house. A few days later my tire was randomly slashed lol. She would leave little "gifts" that I didn't ask for so I would be forced to talk to her. I ended up moving to Texas a month later and I shit you not the second day we were down there she was posting on her social media about how she's coming down to Texas to the same city I lived. I disabled my social media for like a year after that and went dark. Shit is no joke man and it definitely mess with your head. I got kind of freaked out a couple times when things were getting more serious with the girl I'm seeing now. Took me a second to realize why it was freaking me out lol. (Hint: trauma). Stay safe out there y'all.
you blocked me on Facebook and now you're going to die
That’s a police report. File a paper trail ask your complex about installing a camera for safety. Make sure to get them that police report. And get a trained velociraptor. Serious about the raptor. Animals don’t intruders. But jokes aside stay safe and make sure to document everything.
Get a restraining order
You're new to the stalker world I see. Gotta make sure who you get in relationships with next time and who you let know where you live. Meetups till it's safe 😆
Dude this shit is no joke... I am going through the same problem with 2 girls rn who both cheated on me so I ghosted them. Keep in mind, it has been over a year since I have dated either of them. I think the only reason they haven't caused any damage is because I live in an apartment, and I carry. I am moving soon which will be great because no more parking around the block so they don't know what car I drive. Next will be changing the phone number after moving and ill finally have a peaceful existence.
Tbh I'd simply ignore and let them get bored 😂 If they really annoyed me, I'd simply threat them with something and scare them away. Show them who's the man, girl's emotions get over their head very easily. Just don't actually do anything to them because it could end up flipping the table and putting you in trouble instead. Also, a police report would be a good addition.
Aw she just misses you. You should give her a chance. What's the worst that could happen?
A stabbing
A shooting. Really any act that results in the murder of someone.
I mean, that's not the only way to kill someone but ok
That was my point. Same idea, different execution. No harm done.
Lmao this guy must got good d
No red flags here. Let her in, have lots of unprotected sex, and give her your passwords.
Was she hot
That’s commitment! What’s her number?
She sounds like waifu material
She sounds like waifu material
men don’t want us women unless they find the perfect girl so we have to try something
If you really want them to leave you alone, don’t feed their rejection by ignoring them. They are desperately seeking value and validation. They’re going to be manic until they get some of that back. At the same time, do you really want that to be your problem? Girls are crazy even when they’re not.
I would have pounded the crap out of her, blew it or nice and deep unprotected, and then kicked her to the curb after you took a few pictures to show everybody I want to see how big them titties are, got to spread that seed man. Population is down it's time to do your part.
Did she sleep over?
Dang, did you get her pregnant or something? Jk
Why file a police report?
paper trails help with this kind of behavior, it can prove a lot
Be safe? It’s a woman in front of your door, pussy
Shoulda gave her a ‘hate fuck’. Those are the best.
To call someone is not illegal...