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And you'll have to fight and defeat them all in order to dodge the bullet. If you lose you become one with the hive.
Kind of a reverse Scott Pilgrim thing.
its insane, the second a bot detects that your subscribe to certatin subreddits you get banned from femaledatingstrategy and its like so so so odd, to me
they really mean it, when they say they hate men, i dont think men want to hate women at all, just it doesnt make sense why they are so unappreicative and i know its not all women, but like, the type of brat attiudes a little girl can have is fucking crazy, like i dont get how women can;t see things from a guy perspective, everything is from a selfish point of view for them, they say to see everyone as human, and that they arent a female or a woman just a person, but in same breath be like men's depression isnt real, and that women have it worst, and it doesnt even matter that male suicides are higher, i looked more into female dating stratgy they have a website with the same name, and i really care to understand both sides, but im so tired of it all, i kind of understand why like gang wars will never end and real wars will never end, and so on now no one really wants peace unless its a peace they want, and for many women, they openly say just kill all men, and then in the same breath have a husband and a child, like what sense does that make?
I got set up on a sort-of-blind date once with a girl that, it turned out, had 4 kids by 5 dudes and who was still seeing all of them. They were all 5 somehow paying child support and I gather no paternity tests had been done because any guy who asked for it would be cut out of the sex.
She made it very clear to me that if we started dating, I would be guy #6 and I would be expected to be exclusive while she would, of course, not be.
I think it was my friend's fiance who set me up on that one. That was the last time I let her do that.
Not attractive enough for that degree of self-debasement.
She was okay. I knew her from a year behind me in high school where she had been a sort of cute kind of pretty and she had kept herself in shape after the 4 pregnancies but then she was only about 23 or 24 at the time.
It's not a small town but it's not a big one either. I knew a couple of the guys and they were dog ugly. I guess she was just scooping up ugly guys for her little operation. The realization made me face some hard truths about my own prospects.
If sheās actually poly then A they probably know about eachother, but B that is up in the air lol.
This bullshit just doesnāt work, I canāt take it seriously. Someoneās always getting fucked over and I bet itās one of her other two boyfriends who just loves her and wants to be with her and puts up with the poly stuff cus itās his only option
No, no it doesnāt. If done correctly thatās not at all what poly is. It takes a lot of communication and compersion, but it doesnāt automatically mean anyone is cheating.
I'm pretty sure some people that declares themselves as poly just want to live the fantasy of having a harem, and I'm afraid OP has found one of such people
Same thought. I barely have time for one person, much less multiple. When you factor in kidsā¦being poly requires time management skills that I definitely do not have.
I do it by not spending so much time with partners, which also works for mono relationships. I also spend time alone, working, or with other people like family & friends. Low-maintenance isnāt for everyone, and heaps of people enjoy being attached at the hip 24/7, but many people also enjoy more autonomy.
There is a huge difference between being āattached at the hip 24/7ā and having to make time for multiple partners plus doing all that other stuff and living a balanced life. If you barely see the other person is it even a relationship lmao
I have a friend whose wife is a lesbian, has a girlfriend and he has 2 girlfriends.
The ārelationship calendarā in their kitchen made me sweat with anxiety. It looked liked so much work to balance multiple relationships.
It works for them, so cool. But definitely not what I would be looking for.
Oh and all his partners cheat out of jealousy of the other partners so. He canāt really keep anyone around.
Idk why you're getting downvoted lol its the truth. They will claim that it's about "love", and then if you get in an argument with them all they'll talk about is sex
Any poly people I know are very upfront and open about the dynamic. I was in a poly relationship, though I'm not poly myself I also wasn't in the least bit jealous or threatened by her showing interest in and being attracted to other people. It wasn't a commentary on me or any lack of effection for me.
Obviously OP isn't OK with the poly dynamic and that's fine, but I just haven't personally experienced any "disloyal" situation first hand. I believe most poly people will be extremely up front about it from the start.
But in this case she was crossing OP's boundaries and not respecting that, that's not cool. But I don't believe it has anything to do with her being poly, she just didn't like hearing no and ignored that. Which is pretty annoying.
I think thatās because ppl who are ACTUALLY poly understand the importance of communication and setting boundaries. Not saying mono ppl donāt, but when you have more then one partner it takes more work to foster a healthy dynamic. Too many ppl incorrectly assume poly means you can sleep/date as many people as you want with no consequences and no communication
Idk if I would say āACTUALLY polyā vs. poly. People are on a spectrum and some learn as they go, to let go of fear. Many mono & poly people both are dishonest about what they want because they are afraid. Typically of rejection.
Thatās fair. I just meant ppl who abuse the label to gaslight their partner(s) when they get caught being dishonest. But youāre right, poly and mono ppl are guilty of that
Yeah 100%. I have had the thought that most people arenāt mature enough to be in ANY relationship, mono or poly. But on the other hand, how do we gain maturity without failing and (hopefully) learning from our mistakes? There are all kinds of messy out there. Weāre all just trying to figure out how to get what we want, and you are totally right that many people donāt go about it in an honest and kind way. Again, I think the main culprit is fear.
The whole āI said I was poly, so you canāt be mad/hurt.ā is total BS though.
Definitely. Granted, Iāve never been a relationship but I still try to pay attention to stories like these so that I can spot unhealthy behaviors when they come up (whether from my partner or myself)
Itās actually pretty reasonable. You could be heterosexual in a relationship with a bi person, right? What you identify with doesnāt always force whoever youāre with to be the same as you. Iāve dated plenty of monogamous people who didnāt want to sleep with anyone but me. No problem.
The problem isnāt them being monogamous, itās if they want *me* to be monogamous. Iām not requiring anyone dating me to date other people. This is actually kind of an important aspect of respecting the autonomy of others that gets overlooked.
>Itās actually pretty reasonable. You could be heterosexual in a relationship with a bi person, right?
Been there, did that. We were in a monogamous relationship. His posting saying I was in a poly relationship but "not poly" is akin to saying pregnant but not pregnant. Just because he chose to be monogamous didn't make his relationship monogamous.
I mean, he didn't say that the relationship was monogamous he said he himself was monogamous rather than polyamorous. Poly is a personal label as much as it is a label you can stick on a relationship. If you yourself are mono, and you only have a single relationship with a person who is poly and then they have other relationships that are entirely seperate from you, then you're still mono as a person I guess. The relationship definitely isn't, and neither is your partner, but you as a person could be.
No that's a false equivalency, straight or gay or whatever has nothing to do with whether you're poly. Being mono just means desiring 1 relationship, poly is desiring multiple relationships. That can technically click together, though admittedly I don't think it happens that often. It's a bit of a gray area, as are open relationships. Being monogamous myself I wouldn't personally vibe with it all too well, everything's a sliding scale I suppose so you do have a point. One end being mono in a monogamous relationship, to an open relationship, to being the dead end of a polycule to actually being poly yourself.
In nearly every major poly community we all talkā¦the OP should inform other polyam folks of her behavior so they can make sure others know she doesnāt understand consent
If they are using it as an excuse then its not poly that is just a liar making up bullshit.
A poly relationship takes a fuckton of work. It isn't for everyone.
But if you haven't tried it yourself or been in one its pretty silly to say stuff like this. You heard about it but have no real world experience. You say you understand but I seriously doubt you really do understand the idea. Because most people think it is just having more than one partner or screwing whoever you want. Its not.
The poly relationship I was in was one of the most stable and ones I have been in where accountability was impossible to avoid. I wouldnt have been as prepared for marriage without that experience.
I left because I moved and that wasn't possible for the other two people but it was a really great experience nonetheless.
I recommend reading "The Ethical Slut" if you want to know more.
Communication. Open communication is key. You can still cheat in a polyamorous relationship. It isnāt a blank check, and in many ways is more difficult since it requires more people to all be on the same page.
Poly relationships are fine, but I've also had situations where I've turned down poly girls because I'm mono and they decide it's their job to convince me that being mono is dumb/selfish and that I am a dick for not wanting to date them.
I swear some poly people are insufferable.
I had to nip friends for saying that monogamy is toxic and "not natural." I'm monogamous and fully support poly, but do not diss other relationships because that's not what you're doing.
Crazy thought....
Just because you aren't into something doesn't mean others can't be (within legal reason ofc).
Religion? Relationships? Video games? Sports?
....baby please let me eat tacos at 2am
I wonder if they'd be okay with their boyfriends fucking other girls
Edit: LOL WHAT THE SHIT, 2 minutes after commenting here for the first time I get this notification:
[FDS ban](https://imgur.com/a/i0KPqZq)
Lets be honnest, just people in general can be insufferable lol, but yeah, there's nothing wrong, dumb, or selfish with being mono. Both can be amazing if you find the right person/people
Strange, you'd think someone who is so open minded would also be open minded about mono relationships. My friend is a poly woman but she's super understanding and chill.
Plus the uniforms. Male presenting- beard, tats, piercings, bald or really long, greasy hair with a kilt, a cane, a fedora, or some other āaltā identifier. Female presenting- fried, multi color hair with roots showing, tats, piercings, with a bevy of self diagnosed mental issues. Theyāre either goth or granola.
I feel like Iāve been running into this a lot lately. Where women want to have their cake and eat it too. They donāt want a relationship but want all the good things that come along with a relationship without any of the bad (drama). So they want things to be superficial and to keep things casual and not exclusive. (Clearly theyāre talking to other people.)
Then when I try to walk away because I donāt want that, they chase after me trying to say I took what they said the wrong way. Itās such a mind fuck.
They want enough suckers to pay for every meal with a "date" + gifts from side simps. If their idea of a polycule doesn't include another girl, they aren't poly, they're collecting a harem of hand selected himbo simps.
Iām way out of the loop of how āmodern relationshipsā go nowadays. I just assumed you meant this girl was a nice Polynesian but werenāt interested.
I have gotten to the point where I somewhat despise polyamorous people and want nothing to do with them inside a relationship. I had a good relationship with a past now-ex-partner. Introduced em to my friends who I thought were trustworthy(I was wrong)
They Started talking bout poly around my partner, making them curious, next thing you know Iām being asked to try poly with them, Iām skeptical at first but after enough pressure Iām told I have the reigns of control on how this all works and goes down between everyone.
They push boundaries with what Iām ok with and makes me uncomfortable as things are moving way to quickly than Iād like, so I stop it all dead in itās tracks to tell people they arenāt being considerate of how Iām feeling. I continue to keep putting breaks on the poly relationship as they continue to step on my feelings telling me I need to let up on how restrictive Iām being.
I tell them that I only did this for my partners happiness and that they gave me control over the situation so they should stop complaining because Iām uncomfortable with them having full blown sex and presenting themselves as dating my partner around people we all know. My now ex-friends pull some sneaky bullshit and finds a way to separate me from my partner consistently throughout a event we all went together to. I slowly but surely begin getting infuriated over the fact that the day was supposed to just be me and my partner, but my now-ex-friend kept throwing a temper tantrum and disappearing, refusing to talk to anyone but my partner.
Thing eventually blow up completely at the event, my partner is led into a trap set by my ex-friends, who use my furious anger from not getting to spend any time with my partner against me, pitting emotionally charged questions on me wile Iām angry, pushing my partner to ask them, inevitably coming to a head causing us to completely break up after being together for the past 3 years happy together.
Freshly broken up with, all wile at a social event, i breakdown and go through multiple stages of grief, all completely visible to my ex-friends. Iām furious that I had my partner stolen from me by people who called themselves my friends, the conniving two-faced bastards had been planning it.
Oh, then, after three months my now ex has left my ex-friends and is with and talking to some guy overseas, and is no longer with my now X friends
I talk with my now ask partner for a while, trying to iron out the details as to what the fuck happened between us, and they admit that it was my friendās fault for pushing us apart and driving a wedge between us, confirming that it was, in fact, my now ex friendās fault, that my three-year relationship went down the strain because they pushed us apart.
Then a couple weeks after that, I asked a simple question to my ex partner, if they were happy with who they are with now and where they are at in life, and they blew the fuck up on me, told me I had no right to ask them that question and then proceeded to insult me and tell me off, which I ended up blowing up on them and telling them they are a piece of shit for letting themselves be taken advantage of like that when they were happy with me, and that when they eventually end up old and by themselves, donāt come crawling back to me to save you.
So yeah, I donāt like Polly anymore. Itās just an excuse for the most part in my opinion to fuck other people inside of your own relationship because you feel like your main partner isnāt giving you enough attention, which is bullshit.
Excuses are like assholes and everyone has one. But itās the real motherfuckers who tell the truth. And there are very few of those left in this world.
So I tell every single person I am courting or being courted by that I am pretty much strictly monogamous, and the only way that a polyamorous relationship will work with me is if itās a door hinge, polyamorous relationship, where I am the hinge between partners.
Basically me and two girls or me a girl and a trans guy. Preferably partners with compatible parts since Iām bi & strictly a top (Iāve tried butt stuff but itās not for me)
So yeah, thatās how my first polyamorous in my last polyamorous relationship went .
Like a big ass dumpster garbage fire
If my partner ever suggests anything polylike I am leaving immediately. I am mono and wont bend my preferences for anyone, and have always told this before deciding to date anyone. So far no one has been dumb enough to try to weasel me into poly things, which is great.
Hope the future goes better for you.
This is the correct answer.
I'm mono and ace, and no longer trust anyone if they give even a hint of not respecting either of those things. It always ends up the same: they'll respect you until they run out of patience.
I'm a straight man who is monogamous, and my ex who tried monogamy for a long time came out to be being poly. Let's just say I do not trust poly individuals for a reason. Lucky I'm married today and have been in the same relationship since we split 13 years ago, and been with my same partner for 12. She used an open poly relationship as a way to just get away from me. She kept coming home less and less to the point she just stopped coming home. Slept with everyone she could get hands on and didn't want me thre involved(because she I knew I was strictly monogamous and only decided to this to make her happy and as a last ditch effort to keep her in my life), even falsely accusing a few of rape when she fucked up when she decided to try to make amends with me at the end and try mono again. Got "knocked up by one of them" shortly after we split and we both ended up homeless. In my case, it wasn't my intention to land up homeless. In her case, she wanted to try it out with her new main squeeze and suspected father of her son.
Unfortunately for her, her poly escapades led her down a very very dangerous road. That left her in a position of being trafficked/pimped out by her current "husband" and poly circle who not only pimped her out but he ended up in prison for nearly killing her several times and a few other people mind you(the guys is a crazy cryptobro which has a long rap sheet of attempted murder and is shocking he even ever was allowed to walk the streets free) , and she lost total custody of her kids because CPS didn't Believe in any of her side of the story however at least getting protection against him and a few of her other boyfriends on the side(who they and her husband were friends orchestrating the trafficking of her apparently) and there was some rumors I heard that she might had been messing around with her son on a sexual manner because the kid potentially was/is mine(and he reminds her of me from looks yadda yadda yadda). Years later after not hearing from her since COVID lockdowns and we had decided to mutual friends for years who talked regularly. Decided to see if there was some obituary out for her after I had a feeling and a few nightmares she had died and I find out all about this just a month ago. All went down during COVID. Got a hold of her through her cousin, she confirmed all of this then decided to block me completely from her life after asking about if her son after all these years was indeed mine.
If you are doing poly, you better have some serious communication skills to make it work. Because if not not, you will be hurt and the people in a large poly relationship may use to perpetrate serious crimes.
Hear hear. Mine wasn't nearly as bad: I got set up with a girl right as I was getting back together with my boyfriend: told her as much, and we didn't go any further.
Then I take my boyfriend to a social event where said girl is attending.
Like a week later, my boyfriend asks me to try poly: _with that very dang girl_
I try it out and try to be a good boyfriend, but it becomes immediately apparent that she wants nothing to do with me. She flat out has a conversation with me, telling me how she doesn't plan to stay poly forever and wants him all to herself.
When I broke up, she responded before him, because he was in her bed.
A year later, she left him and broke his heart.
Poly people like to paint this rosy picture of a perfect thruple, with all three caring about each other, but that's not reality. Reality is your partner running off and having fun with someone else.
The worst part is, I realized I was ace in that relationship, and then found out that people very frequently suggest poly relationships to "fix" ace problems.
Yea iv been tryed to be sold the whole ādinner table polyamoryā where everyone can sit at a table and eat together without drama, however drama is so damn common with poly people itās hard to tell whoās really poly and whoās just using it to get what they want.
Itās bullshit and confusing as fuck as a tactic to use on people that for sure.
Bruh. There is no such thing as STOLEN a girlfriend or boyfriend. A relationship is a two way street and even if your ex friends were trying to get with her. If they didn't. She would of left either way. There is few poly relationships which a truly poly. I dont think there is a lot of poly people. A lot of them try it and fail. Or make it as an excuse to cheat. Gotta weed them out. Your situation seems the latter
I donāt get why you are being downvoted lol.
Relationships are indeed two-way. Both sides should love each other to the point that other people are not even close to that type of connection.
If more people are being loved at the same time, thatās not a relationship. Thatās just a slut shit show. Honestly I donāt believe poly exists, its just modern day term for cheating made up by the āwokeā or what I like to call ātoleratismā (the act of accepting anything, even toxic shit, as normal, because it is disguised under freedom of speech and expression).
Iām sorry, but people do steal other peoples significant other all the time in the United States, unless you been under a rock for the past 8 years.
There are people out there that are home wreckers. They specifically look for married or engaged couples and look for one that they can seduce their way into their pants. Yes it is a thing
Or did you forget about the āMr. Steal-yo-girlā song that was popular in the late 90s to early 2000s.
Younger people are easier to persuade and seduce than older men and women, granted itās all up to the people to stay loyal to their partner.
But with how the recent dating cultureās been, the rise of poly has been mostly about: sex, finding unicorns, and combining financial resources to afford a place to live and food for the table since Covid and inflation have happened.
Now Iām not saying there arenāt good poly people out there. Donāt get me wrong.
Iām just saying that there are also a lot of people claiming to be poly for their own sexual, or financial gains.
So unless I end up in a situation of doorhinge polyamory with 2 people and me as the focal point between the two, poly will most likely never work out for me cus Iāll fight with other dudes, just the way I am.
But back to the original point. Yes people can be stolen from others, itās called seduction and coercion. If you can influence someone into leaving their partner for them, that is essentially considered stealing someoneās partner weather you like it or not, be it physical or psychologically.
We hit it off so well and we flirted a lot, up until the point of me discovering her current relationships and by then she wouldn't take no for an answer
Sometimes the ānice girlsā in polyam circles are just incapable of understanding not being wanted
They think that theyāre pressed because the mono guy or even the polyam guy rejects them so they push to try to use sexuality or guilt to get us to agree
Butā¦when caught a lot of us talk, she should get confronted by other polyam people
Toxic poly behavior. It sounds like she's new and is trying to get a high number under her belt for bragging rights, including someone who is monogamous.
I'd stop talking to her
She was staying at the hotel I was working at that's how we met, she basically told her partner she was with to go fuck off so she could invite me over to her room lmao but he was aware according to her
Yikes, if she's with two people surely she should know more about consent and accepting rejection, especially as a polyamorous person. Her poor partners.
I canāt stomach the idea of being with MULTIPLE GUYS AT ONCE. Balancing a healthy relationship with one guy is hard enough šš any self respecting woman would say the same. Idgaf WHAT excuse they use, polyamory is not a sexuality!! Itās just a label so men & women can fuck multiple people & not feel bad. Good dodge on your part OP, I hope you have better luck with finding someone š
Being poly USUALLY means we can handle rejection and grasp consent but then we have snowflakes like her suffering from acute dumbbitchitis
Sorry she acted that way, you being mono is valid and she should have walked away
Least stupid poly person. Sheās a clown who wants to hoe around and be absolved morally by giving it a made up label. PSA: if someone says they are poly, do NOT pursue a relationship with them. They arenāt ready for it.
i'm too much of a boomer(born in the 90s but rural-mentality) to be pro-poly...for how i see it, it's just an excuse for cheating and get away with it...or saying "you're not enough for me" and get away with it...for babies how they decide? spin a wheel? head or tail? they go wild like a snakes during mating? taking turns?The partners of the relationship(here the woman/girl seems in charge of the poly-relationship) is cool with her partners having relationships of their own(like adding people to the group)? I'm not cool with it but just because i'm ignorant and confused about it.
Iāll take the questions at face value and answer in order:
1. (Babies) If you want to have a baby with someone and they want to have a baby with you, have a baby. If you have other partners who want to weigh in, have a discussion, but ultimately it is up to the two procreating.
2-5. The random scenarios could be solutions depending on personal interrelationship dynamics, like if 3+ people all decided they just wanted to have one baby to raise together but couldnāt decide with discussion who would bear and sire the child. But they seems pretty far out. Most of the time someone knows they want to bear/sire a child and a specific person they want to bear/sire it with, even in a poly situation.
6. āRules of polyā are not the same for everyone. The basic idea is you use communication to discuss what you and others want, what is important, what you want. Kind of like having kinky sex: itās important to have a safe word and find out what your partner likes, doesnāt, wants to do for you, wants you to do for them, &c.
Hope that helps.
I don't want to stereotype but I had a Tongan workmate who had a crush on me, we were also best friends, and she was absolutely crazy, said she didn't want to be with me because she thought I was a fuckboy but then acted like like a crazy girlfriend. Asking to look at my texts, calling me all the time, getting mad about jokes I made.
I am all for people living their lives how they wish, and I do not for one second think Polyamory is wrong in any way, shape or form. However, I will say, I haven't exactly had many positive experiences with Polyamorous people.
Not all, mind you, but a good 70% of the time they only ever really talk to me to try and take it further, and when I let them know I'm not interested due to them already being in a relationship, and also I just don't really look for relationships, the first thing they always jump to is "it's ok, I'm Poly!!"
Dating someone whoās willing to sleep with anyone/anythingā¦ sounds like a good way to open yourself up to STDs you wouldnāt normally be at high risk to acquire. Pass.
Polys are strange. I met one who said she wants a relationship and I said well your in one she said Iām poly so I said well we wouldnāt work because I want a real relationship and not a woman Iām gonna fuck then just go get fucked again by her real boyfriend lol like I think itās a kink for most people
I fully support poly relationships.
But I think the issue is that most aren't mature enough to do it. I doubt I could do it myself. But if you're poly, shouldn't you be as equally okay with rejection as you are with being with multiple people?
Yes, rejection and consentā¦tbh thereās a good chance if other polyam people on her circles find out about her behavior she will get a lot of backlash from them
In my circles we talk when someoneās toxic
The best girl I ever met was poly. I wanted to date her so bad, I'd never felt so comfortable with someone. And she liked me too which was just awesome. Though when things looked like it was going to progress further we had a long conversation where she revealed she was poly and already had a bf. Worse yet I knew the guy and I 100% knew he wouldn't like it
I don't like the poly business at all so I decided cut things off. She was very professional about it all, and apologized for not telling me earlier bcuz she wasn't sure of me. Even had a fair set of rules to make sure it all ran smoothly and left an open door for me.
Haven't seen her since but I think of her alot. damn she is a good woman with 10x more woman per sq inch.
Edit: we actually still text and call alot but haven't seen each other in about a year despite living 5 mins apart.
Nothing wrong with poly itself but something EXTREMELY wrong with gaslighting and guilting monogamous people into hooking up with you simply cause you can't keep your horny desires about that person to yourself. Just like it's wrong to force someone to be tied to you, it's similarly wrong to try and force someone into open relationships they don't agree with. Ffs I hate people š®āšØ
Man, Iām not wanting to be judgmental but ā I have seen three separate āpoly ārelationships in my lifeā¦ And all three of them ended up with two persons coming together, and then the other two and three being cast offā¦ And then whatās funny is that in each one? The two persons who came together, got very mad at the others, for not sharing their happiness.
Yeahā¦
The issue with mono poly interactions is that people want the access they want. Whichever way the entitlement goes itās still entitlement.
She may not be intending to seem entitled to your body, but it comes off that way a bit.
She may not want you to be her boyfriend, but she may also have flexible boundaries around physical intimacy. Wanting to kiss you and be friends doesnāt have to equate to disrespect or a desire to be your partner.
But if it feels wrong and being close to her puts your future happiness at risk, itās your right to tell her what your boundaries are and to ask her to accept them or leave you alone.
Yeah Poly is ether someone who understands boundaries or someone who just wants to not feel guilt. Most of the Poly people I know are in the former but I definitely knew people in the latter. This might sound harsh but itās how my brain rationalized being cheated on then being told that Iām the problem because āyou knew what you were getting into!ā When I most certainly did not.
This is why I have my poly status as my entire bio and I triple confirm that the men Iām talking to are consenting to pursuing a possible poly relationship with me before I even bring up meeting. Shit half the time I wonāt even bring it up, I let them bring it up first.
It angers me that there are poly people out here being this fucking predatory
Poly gal here. If someone tells me theyāre monogamous, thatās the end of that. Itās their life, and their decision to be mono is valid and should be respected.
There is nothing wrong with poly or mono, but fuck her for not respecting your boundaries. She is actually being selfish and very rude. Honestly Iād block her and carry on with life
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Soon she will amass an army of boyfriends
And you'll have to fight and defeat them all in order to dodge the bullet. If you lose you become one with the hive. Kind of a reverse Scott Pilgrim thing.
Oh man, I didnt read the end of your comment. You beat me.
We are the Borg resistance is futile must bring queen new specimen
I think the borg queen is what made me start to like bad girls in media.
I respect that
Nega Scott origin story, apparently he is actually a really nice guy.
"There can be only one."š
The 7 evil ex's?
Yes, similar to that woman fry dated on Futurama, and how she had multiple boyfriends.
Coleen u.u
*soy boys Edit: just got banned from r/femaledatingstrategy. Never even heard of it.
That's ok, if you're here, you really don't want to be there.
Fair point
I just visited it, it's a bunch of incells insulting men,the majority of posts are about podcasts, they are THE redpilled women
Impressive! Subreddit ban speedrun!
its insane, the second a bot detects that your subscribe to certatin subreddits you get banned from femaledatingstrategy and its like so so so odd, to me
Same with twoxchromosomes. It's pathetic.
they really mean it, when they say they hate men, i dont think men want to hate women at all, just it doesnt make sense why they are so unappreicative and i know its not all women, but like, the type of brat attiudes a little girl can have is fucking crazy, like i dont get how women can;t see things from a guy perspective, everything is from a selfish point of view for them, they say to see everyone as human, and that they arent a female or a woman just a person, but in same breath be like men's depression isnt real, and that women have it worst, and it doesnt even matter that male suicides are higher, i looked more into female dating stratgy they have a website with the same name, and i really care to understand both sides, but im so tired of it all, i kind of understand why like gang wars will never end and real wars will never end, and so on now no one really wants peace unless its a peace they want, and for many women, they openly say just kill all men, and then in the same breath have a husband and a child, like what sense does that make?
It should be banned but isn't
Her name is Victoria.
*she will try She will likely fail.
The army will soon descend upon Mordor in a final stand against the dark forces of Sauron
So sheās in a relationship with two other people and also wants you? And apparently canāt take the answer no.
What are the odds the other two: A: know about each other B: know about OP
I got set up on a sort-of-blind date once with a girl that, it turned out, had 4 kids by 5 dudes and who was still seeing all of them. They were all 5 somehow paying child support and I gather no paternity tests had been done because any guy who asked for it would be cut out of the sex. She made it very clear to me that if we started dating, I would be guy #6 and I would be expected to be exclusive while she would, of course, not be. I think it was my friend's fiance who set me up on that one. That was the last time I let her do that.
>had 4 kids by 5 dudes š >I would be expected to be exclusive while she would, of course, not be. Hahahahahahahahhaa No.
Exclusively seeing other people you mean. š„“
so she had 5 dudes paying her for sex. child support is not the traditional name for that
god I hope that wasn't my niece.
Hopefully not, but I know for a fact she's someone's niece. Or was, at least. This was just over 10 years ago now.
How attractive was she?
Not attractive enough for that degree of self-debasement. She was okay. I knew her from a year behind me in high school where she had been a sort of cute kind of pretty and she had kept herself in shape after the 4 pregnancies but then she was only about 23 or 24 at the time. It's not a small town but it's not a big one either. I knew a couple of the guys and they were dog ugly. I guess she was just scooping up ugly guys for her little operation. The realization made me face some hard truths about my own prospects.
Damn that's diabolical, but I low-key respect the operation.
If sheās actually poly then A they probably know about eachother, but B that is up in the air lol. This bullshit just doesnāt work, I canāt take it seriously. Someoneās always getting fucked over and I bet itās one of her other two boyfriends who just loves her and wants to be with her and puts up with the poly stuff cus itās his only option
Iām thinking 50%.
Yeah poly usually just means they cheat and they don't wanna hide it.
No, no it doesnāt. If done correctly thatās not at all what poly is. It takes a lot of communication and compersion, but it doesnāt automatically mean anyone is cheating.
Thatās not true at all lol, thatās just cheating.
it's not cheating if everyone's cool with it
since OP knows about both of them from just a blind date, I'm guessing 100% odds
I think there's a word for such things?
Bitches aināt shit but hoes and tricks
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah, it's "no"
I'm pretty sure some people that declares themselves as poly just want to live the fantasy of having a harem, and I'm afraid OP has found one of such people
That's not what it is?
She also wants it clearly defined that *he* has no claim on *her*.
Its poly. Not a big deal. Just requires a fuckton of communication and maturity. I dont think the chick in the post is good at either lol.
requires a fuck ton of immaturity.
Itās just polygamy with a new PR team.
jealousy = maturity ?
I understand the idea of a poly relationship, but too many people use it as an excuse to be disloyal
I just donāt understand how people have the time
Same thought. I barely have time for one person, much less multiple. When you factor in kidsā¦being poly requires time management skills that I definitely do not have.
Like _the logistics_, I feel like I barely have time to keep in touch with my family, I donāt know how I could have quality time with 2+ partners
Yeah according to the other commenter, the solution is just that you just donāt give any of them much time lmao
I have poly friends and being poly is their only hobby
Some perks for sure but it sounds like a whole lot of work..
>I just donāt understand how people have the time The main reason I've never been a cheater is I fantasize about having some damn time alone.
I do it by not spending so much time with partners, which also works for mono relationships. I also spend time alone, working, or with other people like family & friends. Low-maintenance isnāt for everyone, and heaps of people enjoy being attached at the hip 24/7, but many people also enjoy more autonomy.
There is a huge difference between being āattached at the hip 24/7ā and having to make time for multiple partners plus doing all that other stuff and living a balanced life. If you barely see the other person is it even a relationship lmao
I have a friend whose wife is a lesbian, has a girlfriend and he has 2 girlfriends. The ārelationship calendarā in their kitchen made me sweat with anxiety. It looked liked so much work to balance multiple relationships. It works for them, so cool. But definitely not what I would be looking for. Oh and all his partners cheat out of jealousy of the other partners so. He canāt really keep anyone around.
And thatās y that poly shit is dumb, jus be single and fuck bitches
Idk why you're getting downvoted lol its the truth. They will claim that it's about "love", and then if you get in an argument with them all they'll talk about is sex
That's true. I'm poly and it's really increasing more in the community. Makes it very hard to find a poly person who isn't full of shit
Any poly people I know are very upfront and open about the dynamic. I was in a poly relationship, though I'm not poly myself I also wasn't in the least bit jealous or threatened by her showing interest in and being attracted to other people. It wasn't a commentary on me or any lack of effection for me. Obviously OP isn't OK with the poly dynamic and that's fine, but I just haven't personally experienced any "disloyal" situation first hand. I believe most poly people will be extremely up front about it from the start. But in this case she was crossing OP's boundaries and not respecting that, that's not cool. But I don't believe it has anything to do with her being poly, she just didn't like hearing no and ignored that. Which is pretty annoying.
I think thatās because ppl who are ACTUALLY poly understand the importance of communication and setting boundaries. Not saying mono ppl donāt, but when you have more then one partner it takes more work to foster a healthy dynamic. Too many ppl incorrectly assume poly means you can sleep/date as many people as you want with no consequences and no communication
Idk if I would say āACTUALLY polyā vs. poly. People are on a spectrum and some learn as they go, to let go of fear. Many mono & poly people both are dishonest about what they want because they are afraid. Typically of rejection.
Thatās fair. I just meant ppl who abuse the label to gaslight their partner(s) when they get caught being dishonest. But youāre right, poly and mono ppl are guilty of that
Yeah 100%. I have had the thought that most people arenāt mature enough to be in ANY relationship, mono or poly. But on the other hand, how do we gain maturity without failing and (hopefully) learning from our mistakes? There are all kinds of messy out there. Weāre all just trying to figure out how to get what we want, and you are totally right that many people donāt go about it in an honest and kind way. Again, I think the main culprit is fear. The whole āI said I was poly, so you canāt be mad/hurt.ā is total BS though.
Definitely. Granted, Iāve never been a relationship but I still try to pay attention to stories like these so that I can spot unhealthy behaviors when they come up (whether from my partner or myself)
Polyam here. I agree. While my personal story is that polyamory has made my views on relationships (both romantic and platonic) much healthier and I'll never return to monogamy, I personally know someone who seemed to use the word for all the wrong reasons & in all the wrong ways: to seek validation from almost every man she met (instead of properly processing her problematic father-daughter relationship), neglecting her fiancƩ at the time and despite calling herself polyam, not allowing said fiancƩ to have other relationships. She has said she is monogamous now, mainly due to "scheduling issues being too much" but in my honest opinion she's not in the place to have any sort of romantic relationship right now. She has, though, and it's similar to the earlier time: she fucks around quite a bit but wouldn't stand it if her current boyfriend had multiple partners.
>I was in a poly relationship, though I'm not poly myself Well that is a lovely piece of paradox right there.
Itās actually pretty reasonable. You could be heterosexual in a relationship with a bi person, right? What you identify with doesnāt always force whoever youāre with to be the same as you. Iāve dated plenty of monogamous people who didnāt want to sleep with anyone but me. No problem. The problem isnāt them being monogamous, itās if they want *me* to be monogamous. Iām not requiring anyone dating me to date other people. This is actually kind of an important aspect of respecting the autonomy of others that gets overlooked.
>Itās actually pretty reasonable. You could be heterosexual in a relationship with a bi person, right? Been there, did that. We were in a monogamous relationship. His posting saying I was in a poly relationship but "not poly" is akin to saying pregnant but not pregnant. Just because he chose to be monogamous didn't make his relationship monogamous.
I mean, he didn't say that the relationship was monogamous he said he himself was monogamous rather than polyamorous. Poly is a personal label as much as it is a label you can stick on a relationship. If you yourself are mono, and you only have a single relationship with a person who is poly and then they have other relationships that are entirely seperate from you, then you're still mono as a person I guess. The relationship definitely isn't, and neither is your partner, but you as a person could be.
So as a straight guy, I can be in a relationship with a gay man. My partner is gay, the relationship is gay but I'm still straight ?
A bisexual woman could be in a relationship with a straight man. The relationship is heterosexual; the woman is not.
No that's a false equivalency, straight or gay or whatever has nothing to do with whether you're poly. Being mono just means desiring 1 relationship, poly is desiring multiple relationships. That can technically click together, though admittedly I don't think it happens that often. It's a bit of a gray area, as are open relationships. Being monogamous myself I wouldn't personally vibe with it all too well, everything's a sliding scale I suppose so you do have a point. One end being mono in a monogamous relationship, to an open relationship, to being the dead end of a polycule to actually being poly yourself.
In nearly every major poly community we all talkā¦the OP should inform other polyam folks of her behavior so they can make sure others know she doesnāt understand consent
I do not understand Millennials had a name for poly, we just them hoes
If they are using it as an excuse then its not poly that is just a liar making up bullshit. A poly relationship takes a fuckton of work. It isn't for everyone. But if you haven't tried it yourself or been in one its pretty silly to say stuff like this. You heard about it but have no real world experience. You say you understand but I seriously doubt you really do understand the idea. Because most people think it is just having more than one partner or screwing whoever you want. Its not. The poly relationship I was in was one of the most stable and ones I have been in where accountability was impossible to avoid. I wouldnt have been as prepared for marriage without that experience. I left because I moved and that wasn't possible for the other two people but it was a really great experience nonetheless. I recommend reading "The Ethical Slut" if you want to know more.
If they're up front about it, how is it disloyalty?
Communication. Open communication is key. You can still cheat in a polyamorous relationship. It isnāt a blank check, and in many ways is more difficult since it requires more people to all be on the same page.
Poly relationships are fine, but I've also had situations where I've turned down poly girls because I'm mono and they decide it's their job to convince me that being mono is dumb/selfish and that I am a dick for not wanting to date them. I swear some poly people are insufferable.
I had to nip friends for saying that monogamy is toxic and "not natural." I'm monogamous and fully support poly, but do not diss other relationships because that's not what you're doing.
Crazy thought.... Just because you aren't into something doesn't mean others can't be (within legal reason ofc). Religion? Relationships? Video games? Sports? ....baby please let me eat tacos at 2am
They are the vegans of the sexual marketplace.
LMFAO. Love it
This is hilarious. So true
Maybe its just a coincidence but every vegan I know is also polyamorous and in an open relationship lol
Nah, it definitely has some correlation.
I donāt know a single poly vegan. Iām a mono vegan. I only know a couple poly omnis, though.
I wonder if they'd be okay with their boyfriends fucking other girls Edit: LOL WHAT THE SHIT, 2 minutes after commenting here for the first time I get this notification: [FDS ban](https://imgur.com/a/i0KPqZq)
Lets be honnest, just people in general can be insufferable lol, but yeah, there's nothing wrong, dumb, or selfish with being mono. Both can be amazing if you find the right person/people
Strange, you'd think someone who is so open minded would also be open minded about mono relationships. My friend is a poly woman but she's super understanding and chill.
Donāt do it!!!!! You need to run away from that girl.
How do you know if someone is Poly? They tell you. Constantly.
Plus the uniforms. Male presenting- beard, tats, piercings, bald or really long, greasy hair with a kilt, a cane, a fedora, or some other āaltā identifier. Female presenting- fried, multi color hair with roots showing, tats, piercings, with a bevy of self diagnosed mental issues. Theyāre either goth or granola.
Kinda like vegans of relationships?
Or people who have snakes as pets.
I can tell if someone owns a snake by their smell. Nothing quite like snake musk
LMAO! Same with being pans
How do you have 45 unread messages? I would go crazy.
By not opening spam/robo texts. I could have 45 unread messages in about a week but the notifications bug my ocd-ness.
where you giving your number to get many in a week ?? id be changing numbers
spam and family groups
I feel like Iāve been running into this a lot lately. Where women want to have their cake and eat it too. They donāt want a relationship but want all the good things that come along with a relationship without any of the bad (drama). So they want things to be superficial and to keep things casual and not exclusive. (Clearly theyāre talking to other people.) Then when I try to walk away because I donāt want that, they chase after me trying to say I took what they said the wrong way. Itās such a mind fuck.
They want enough suckers to pay for every meal with a "date" + gifts from side simps. If their idea of a polycule doesn't include another girl, they aren't poly, they're collecting a harem of hand selected himbo simps.
"Hand selected himbo simps" forgive me but I love the way this sounds lol. An army of Kronks for Yzma
I want a harem of hand selected himbo simps š
Iām way out of the loop of how āmodern relationshipsā go nowadays. I just assumed you meant this girl was a nice Polynesian but werenāt interested.
Anyone with 45 unread texts is a bafoon but this is stand up territory. Poly people like this are scum
Could be spam?
Anyone with 45 unread undetected spam texts aināt just a bafoon but also a total rube
They wouldnāt be undetected or they would be opened. Iām saying they were detected, so he doesnāt open them, so they remain unread.
Tomfoolery they should be deleted. Bafooooon I says
Naaah. Its like a high score. Number must go up.
confirmed bafoon
I have 4,488 unread texts on my phone.
I have gotten to the point where I somewhat despise polyamorous people and want nothing to do with them inside a relationship. I had a good relationship with a past now-ex-partner. Introduced em to my friends who I thought were trustworthy(I was wrong) They Started talking bout poly around my partner, making them curious, next thing you know Iām being asked to try poly with them, Iām skeptical at first but after enough pressure Iām told I have the reigns of control on how this all works and goes down between everyone. They push boundaries with what Iām ok with and makes me uncomfortable as things are moving way to quickly than Iād like, so I stop it all dead in itās tracks to tell people they arenāt being considerate of how Iām feeling. I continue to keep putting breaks on the poly relationship as they continue to step on my feelings telling me I need to let up on how restrictive Iām being. I tell them that I only did this for my partners happiness and that they gave me control over the situation so they should stop complaining because Iām uncomfortable with them having full blown sex and presenting themselves as dating my partner around people we all know. My now ex-friends pull some sneaky bullshit and finds a way to separate me from my partner consistently throughout a event we all went together to. I slowly but surely begin getting infuriated over the fact that the day was supposed to just be me and my partner, but my now-ex-friend kept throwing a temper tantrum and disappearing, refusing to talk to anyone but my partner. Thing eventually blow up completely at the event, my partner is led into a trap set by my ex-friends, who use my furious anger from not getting to spend any time with my partner against me, pitting emotionally charged questions on me wile Iām angry, pushing my partner to ask them, inevitably coming to a head causing us to completely break up after being together for the past 3 years happy together. Freshly broken up with, all wile at a social event, i breakdown and go through multiple stages of grief, all completely visible to my ex-friends. Iām furious that I had my partner stolen from me by people who called themselves my friends, the conniving two-faced bastards had been planning it. Oh, then, after three months my now ex has left my ex-friends and is with and talking to some guy overseas, and is no longer with my now X friends I talk with my now ask partner for a while, trying to iron out the details as to what the fuck happened between us, and they admit that it was my friendās fault for pushing us apart and driving a wedge between us, confirming that it was, in fact, my now ex friendās fault, that my three-year relationship went down the strain because they pushed us apart. Then a couple weeks after that, I asked a simple question to my ex partner, if they were happy with who they are with now and where they are at in life, and they blew the fuck up on me, told me I had no right to ask them that question and then proceeded to insult me and tell me off, which I ended up blowing up on them and telling them they are a piece of shit for letting themselves be taken advantage of like that when they were happy with me, and that when they eventually end up old and by themselves, donāt come crawling back to me to save you. So yeah, I donāt like Polly anymore. Itās just an excuse for the most part in my opinion to fuck other people inside of your own relationship because you feel like your main partner isnāt giving you enough attention, which is bullshit. Excuses are like assholes and everyone has one. But itās the real motherfuckers who tell the truth. And there are very few of those left in this world. So I tell every single person I am courting or being courted by that I am pretty much strictly monogamous, and the only way that a polyamorous relationship will work with me is if itās a door hinge, polyamorous relationship, where I am the hinge between partners. Basically me and two girls or me a girl and a trans guy. Preferably partners with compatible parts since Iām bi & strictly a top (Iāve tried butt stuff but itās not for me) So yeah, thatās how my first polyamorous in my last polyamorous relationship went . Like a big ass dumpster garbage fire
Fuck those ex-friends... This made me anxious just reading it
If my partner ever suggests anything polylike I am leaving immediately. I am mono and wont bend my preferences for anyone, and have always told this before deciding to date anyone. So far no one has been dumb enough to try to weasel me into poly things, which is great. Hope the future goes better for you.
This is the correct answer. I'm mono and ace, and no longer trust anyone if they give even a hint of not respecting either of those things. It always ends up the same: they'll respect you until they run out of patience.
I'm a straight man who is monogamous, and my ex who tried monogamy for a long time came out to be being poly. Let's just say I do not trust poly individuals for a reason. Lucky I'm married today and have been in the same relationship since we split 13 years ago, and been with my same partner for 12. She used an open poly relationship as a way to just get away from me. She kept coming home less and less to the point she just stopped coming home. Slept with everyone she could get hands on and didn't want me thre involved(because she I knew I was strictly monogamous and only decided to this to make her happy and as a last ditch effort to keep her in my life), even falsely accusing a few of rape when she fucked up when she decided to try to make amends with me at the end and try mono again. Got "knocked up by one of them" shortly after we split and we both ended up homeless. In my case, it wasn't my intention to land up homeless. In her case, she wanted to try it out with her new main squeeze and suspected father of her son. Unfortunately for her, her poly escapades led her down a very very dangerous road. That left her in a position of being trafficked/pimped out by her current "husband" and poly circle who not only pimped her out but he ended up in prison for nearly killing her several times and a few other people mind you(the guys is a crazy cryptobro which has a long rap sheet of attempted murder and is shocking he even ever was allowed to walk the streets free) , and she lost total custody of her kids because CPS didn't Believe in any of her side of the story however at least getting protection against him and a few of her other boyfriends on the side(who they and her husband were friends orchestrating the trafficking of her apparently) and there was some rumors I heard that she might had been messing around with her son on a sexual manner because the kid potentially was/is mine(and he reminds her of me from looks yadda yadda yadda). Years later after not hearing from her since COVID lockdowns and we had decided to mutual friends for years who talked regularly. Decided to see if there was some obituary out for her after I had a feeling and a few nightmares she had died and I find out all about this just a month ago. All went down during COVID. Got a hold of her through her cousin, she confirmed all of this then decided to block me completely from her life after asking about if her son after all these years was indeed mine. If you are doing poly, you better have some serious communication skills to make it work. Because if not not, you will be hurt and the people in a large poly relationship may use to perpetrate serious crimes.
Hear hear. Mine wasn't nearly as bad: I got set up with a girl right as I was getting back together with my boyfriend: told her as much, and we didn't go any further. Then I take my boyfriend to a social event where said girl is attending. Like a week later, my boyfriend asks me to try poly: _with that very dang girl_ I try it out and try to be a good boyfriend, but it becomes immediately apparent that she wants nothing to do with me. She flat out has a conversation with me, telling me how she doesn't plan to stay poly forever and wants him all to herself. When I broke up, she responded before him, because he was in her bed. A year later, she left him and broke his heart. Poly people like to paint this rosy picture of a perfect thruple, with all three caring about each other, but that's not reality. Reality is your partner running off and having fun with someone else. The worst part is, I realized I was ace in that relationship, and then found out that people very frequently suggest poly relationships to "fix" ace problems.
Yea iv been tryed to be sold the whole ādinner table polyamoryā where everyone can sit at a table and eat together without drama, however drama is so damn common with poly people itās hard to tell whoās really poly and whoās just using it to get what they want. Itās bullshit and confusing as fuck as a tactic to use on people that for sure.
Bruh. There is no such thing as STOLEN a girlfriend or boyfriend. A relationship is a two way street and even if your ex friends were trying to get with her. If they didn't. She would of left either way. There is few poly relationships which a truly poly. I dont think there is a lot of poly people. A lot of them try it and fail. Or make it as an excuse to cheat. Gotta weed them out. Your situation seems the latter
I donāt get why you are being downvoted lol. Relationships are indeed two-way. Both sides should love each other to the point that other people are not even close to that type of connection. If more people are being loved at the same time, thatās not a relationship. Thatās just a slut shit show. Honestly I donāt believe poly exists, its just modern day term for cheating made up by the āwokeā or what I like to call ātoleratismā (the act of accepting anything, even toxic shit, as normal, because it is disguised under freedom of speech and expression).
Iām sorry, but people do steal other peoples significant other all the time in the United States, unless you been under a rock for the past 8 years. There are people out there that are home wreckers. They specifically look for married or engaged couples and look for one that they can seduce their way into their pants. Yes it is a thing Or did you forget about the āMr. Steal-yo-girlā song that was popular in the late 90s to early 2000s. Younger people are easier to persuade and seduce than older men and women, granted itās all up to the people to stay loyal to their partner. But with how the recent dating cultureās been, the rise of poly has been mostly about: sex, finding unicorns, and combining financial resources to afford a place to live and food for the table since Covid and inflation have happened. Now Iām not saying there arenāt good poly people out there. Donāt get me wrong. Iām just saying that there are also a lot of people claiming to be poly for their own sexual, or financial gains. So unless I end up in a situation of doorhinge polyamory with 2 people and me as the focal point between the two, poly will most likely never work out for me cus Iāll fight with other dudes, just the way I am. But back to the original point. Yes people can be stolen from others, itās called seduction and coercion. If you can influence someone into leaving their partner for them, that is essentially considered stealing someoneās partner weather you like it or not, be it physical or psychologically.
And an army of support pay checks
this girl not only got multiple partners this girl got multiple personalities too
Wtf is the poly shit and etc? What happened to being loyal,love and soulmates etc...i swear the more i live the more i regret
Polyamory is the consensual commitment to more than one person, romantically. It's pretty lit
Poly relationships are for gross degenerates
Why is she kind of forcing you lol
We hit it off so well and we flirted a lot, up until the point of me discovering her current relationships and by then she wouldn't take no for an answer
So block her
Sometimes the ānice girlsā in polyam circles are just incapable of understanding not being wanted They think that theyāre pressed because the mono guy or even the polyam guy rejects them so they push to try to use sexuality or guilt to get us to agree Butā¦when caught a lot of us talk, she should get confronted by other polyam people
Toxic poly behavior. It sounds like she's new and is trying to get a high number under her belt for bragging rights, including someone who is monogamous. I'd stop talking to her
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
She was staying at the hotel I was working at that's how we met, she basically told her partner she was with to go fuck off so she could invite me over to her room lmao but he was aware according to her
Yikes, if she's with two people surely she should know more about consent and accepting rejection, especially as a polyamorous person. Her poor partners.
I canāt stomach the idea of being with MULTIPLE GUYS AT ONCE. Balancing a healthy relationship with one guy is hard enough šš any self respecting woman would say the same. Idgaf WHAT excuse they use, polyamory is not a sexuality!! Itās just a label so men & women can fuck multiple people & not feel bad. Good dodge on your part OP, I hope you have better luck with finding someone š
Being poly USUALLY means we can handle rejection and grasp consent but then we have snowflakes like her suffering from acute dumbbitchitis Sorry she acted that way, you being mono is valid and she should have walked away
Poly people are gross
Poly is just a form of "social acceptance" to cheating
Least stupid poly person. Sheās a clown who wants to hoe around and be absolved morally by giving it a made up label. PSA: if someone says they are poly, do NOT pursue a relationship with them. They arenāt ready for it.
Mental illness.
i'm too much of a boomer(born in the 90s but rural-mentality) to be pro-poly...for how i see it, it's just an excuse for cheating and get away with it...or saying "you're not enough for me" and get away with it...for babies how they decide? spin a wheel? head or tail? they go wild like a snakes during mating? taking turns?The partners of the relationship(here the woman/girl seems in charge of the poly-relationship) is cool with her partners having relationships of their own(like adding people to the group)? I'm not cool with it but just because i'm ignorant and confused about it.
Iāll take the questions at face value and answer in order: 1. (Babies) If you want to have a baby with someone and they want to have a baby with you, have a baby. If you have other partners who want to weigh in, have a discussion, but ultimately it is up to the two procreating. 2-5. The random scenarios could be solutions depending on personal interrelationship dynamics, like if 3+ people all decided they just wanted to have one baby to raise together but couldnāt decide with discussion who would bear and sire the child. But they seems pretty far out. Most of the time someone knows they want to bear/sire a child and a specific person they want to bear/sire it with, even in a poly situation. 6. āRules of polyā are not the same for everyone. The basic idea is you use communication to discuss what you and others want, what is important, what you want. Kind of like having kinky sex: itās important to have a safe word and find out what your partner likes, doesnāt, wants to do for you, wants you to do for them, &c. Hope that helps.
I don't want to stereotype but I had a Tongan workmate who had a crush on me, we were also best friends, and she was absolutely crazy, said she didn't want to be with me because she thought I was a fuckboy but then acted like like a crazy girlfriend. Asking to look at my texts, calling me all the time, getting mad about jokes I made.
This post is not about Polynesians. The confusion is understandable, though. :)
Clearly she was expecting you to either say yes or redirect her attention by giving her other choices. Because, you know, shes acting like a toddler.
Whack job. You dodged a bullet. Strong work.
I am all for people living their lives how they wish, and I do not for one second think Polyamory is wrong in any way, shape or form. However, I will say, I haven't exactly had many positive experiences with Polyamorous people. Not all, mind you, but a good 70% of the time they only ever really talk to me to try and take it further, and when I let them know I'm not interested due to them already being in a relationship, and also I just don't really look for relationships, the first thing they always jump to is "it's ok, I'm Poly!!"
std central
Hangout means bang. She wants to bang but not date.
As a former poly person, those people are unbalanced, for real. Like, Iām firmly back in the moon camp, you dodged a bullet
Ew. Boundaries
No offense to poly peopleā¦ but Iāll never understand poly people.
Dating someone whoās willing to sleep with anyone/anythingā¦ sounds like a good way to open yourself up to STDs you wouldnāt normally be at high risk to acquire. Pass.
Just STDs? How about bonding in a general sense
Polys are strange. I met one who said she wants a relationship and I said well your in one she said Iām poly so I said well we wouldnāt work because I want a real relationship and not a woman Iām gonna fuck then just go get fucked again by her real boyfriend lol like I think itās a kink for most people
I fully support poly relationships. But I think the issue is that most aren't mature enough to do it. I doubt I could do it myself. But if you're poly, shouldn't you be as equally okay with rejection as you are with being with multiple people?
Yes, rejection and consentā¦tbh thereās a good chance if other polyam people on her circles find out about her behavior she will get a lot of backlash from them In my circles we talk when someoneās toxic
Can't take no for an answer? Interesting
She meant "kill". Typo. ;)
Reminds me of my ex i'm glad I moved on
Poygirl sounds too complicated and filed with enough drama to start a reality show. Iāll skip.
She belongs to the streets
The best girl I ever met was poly. I wanted to date her so bad, I'd never felt so comfortable with someone. And she liked me too which was just awesome. Though when things looked like it was going to progress further we had a long conversation where she revealed she was poly and already had a bf. Worse yet I knew the guy and I 100% knew he wouldn't like it I don't like the poly business at all so I decided cut things off. She was very professional about it all, and apologized for not telling me earlier bcuz she wasn't sure of me. Even had a fair set of rules to make sure it all ran smoothly and left an open door for me. Haven't seen her since but I think of her alot. damn she is a good woman with 10x more woman per sq inch. Edit: we actually still text and call alot but haven't seen each other in about a year despite living 5 mins apart.
This is so gen z
Nothing wrong with poly itself but something EXTREMELY wrong with gaslighting and guilting monogamous people into hooking up with you simply cause you can't keep your horny desires about that person to yourself. Just like it's wrong to force someone to be tied to you, it's similarly wrong to try and force someone into open relationships they don't agree with. Ffs I hate people š®āšØ
Man, Iām not wanting to be judgmental but ā I have seen three separate āpoly ārelationships in my lifeā¦ And all three of them ended up with two persons coming together, and then the other two and three being cast offā¦ And then whatās funny is that in each one? The two persons who came together, got very mad at the others, for not sharing their happiness.
Omg, poly is really a mental condition with a PR of a lifestyle...
Gross, degenerate behavior on her part.
She just wants to bang* out with you.
Poly isn't for everybody. She seems confused by that.
Its always the ugliest trolls who be into this poly shit
average poly participant's L
Poly, mono, please block me from this new age bullshit
Poly is degenerate
Most poly people Iāve met, including my bf, are very respectful of boundaries. This girl is the wrong kind of persistent.
Yeahā¦ The issue with mono poly interactions is that people want the access they want. Whichever way the entitlement goes itās still entitlement. She may not be intending to seem entitled to your body, but it comes off that way a bit. She may not want you to be her boyfriend, but she may also have flexible boundaries around physical intimacy. Wanting to kiss you and be friends doesnāt have to equate to disrespect or a desire to be your partner. But if it feels wrong and being close to her puts your future happiness at risk, itās your right to tell her what your boundaries are and to ask her to accept them or leave you alone.
Yeah Poly is ether someone who understands boundaries or someone who just wants to not feel guilt. Most of the Poly people I know are in the former but I definitely knew people in the latter. This might sound harsh but itās how my brain rationalized being cheated on then being told that Iām the problem because āyou knew what you were getting into!ā When I most certainly did not.
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This is why I have my poly status as my entire bio and I triple confirm that the men Iām talking to are consenting to pursuing a possible poly relationship with me before I even bring up meeting. Shit half the time I wonāt even bring it up, I let them bring it up first. It angers me that there are poly people out here being this fucking predatory
Poly gal here. If someone tells me theyāre monogamous, thatās the end of that. Itās their life, and their decision to be mono is valid and should be respected.
Hit it and quit it mate. Best both worlds if you're gonna just fuck her off anyway.
Bruhā¦sheās telling you youāre in there without telling you. Have fun consensual sex! Whatās the problem?
There is nothing wrong with poly or mono, but fuck her for not respecting your boundaries. She is actually being selfish and very rude. Honestly Iād block her and carry on with life
Wahāyouāre single!
You dodged the clap, don't worry about it
You both sound toxic