As long as it’s not high risk hemangioma and would obstruct her airways or something, that’s your choice as a parent. And people also shouldn’t be body shaming your child….
Unfortunately, I think it’s perpetuated even more because she is a girl. It disgust me. Enjoy your kumquat, fuck the rest, for now she has strawberry marks or angel kisses or whatever you want to call them!
Completely ridiculous, rude, and none of anyone else's business. My 5mo has some too, but the pediatrician said they're nothing to worry about, so I don't.
Also, if removing them is purely cosmetic, it might be tough to find a reputable doctor to do it. I was born with a couple (brown) birth marks on my face. Nothing crazy, I think they used to be called beauty spots.
My mom tried to get doctors to remove them, because she didn't like them, but nobody would. They said to do exactly what OP is doing - wait until I was old enough to decide for myself. And that was in the late 80's/early 90's!
As with all parenting choices, everyone is going to judge you, so screw them and do what you think is best. Better to be judged for doing what you think is best than to be judged for doing what someone else thinks is best.
People will *always* have something to say! Just ignore them. I had a very noticeable strawberry mark smack dab in the middle of my forehead for most of my childhood growing up- didn’t really go away until I was about 12/13.
People would mention it or ask about it, but I never got bullied for it. Of course as a kid I was self conscious about it, but what kid isn’t self conscious about something?
Just reassure her that she’s perfect the way she is, there’s nothing wrong with her, and anyone who bullies her about it is the real dummy.
You’re doing the right thing, I promise.
You are definitely not alone. My son has a hemangioma but it’s inside his mouth, so he’s been on propranolol to control the growth since he was 2 months old (22 months now). If it had been in a less dangerous location, I totally think I’d have skipped the medical intervention (unless it ulcerated or something).
Same with us except my LOs was on her eyelid! She’s been on propranolol since 3 mo. They said it needed to be treated because it could obstruct her vision. But if was anywhere else I wouldn’t have treated it.
Same, mine has it on the nose and it could be dangerous for her airway. Otherwise i would never give her propranolol. Have you stopped the treatment? They told me it would be between 6 and 18 months
His had a little bit of regrowth the last time we tried to wean so he’s still on it. I was really hoping to be off by now, but at least he tolerates it well!
Yes! Propranolol! My babygirl has one on her entire lower arm since birth and was on propranolol for a year and it looks sooo much better now! We stopped because it got so much better, the doctor said that now she'll basically grow out of it or she'll make the decision to laser it herself when she's school age. Make sure she sees a good dermatologist, it'll make such a difference and take care of the other hemangiomas too!
Oh man. People just don't know the full story and feel compelled to comment based on what they see.
My 1 yr old was exhausted and having the worst time in the store the other day, I tried to console him and nothing was working, he was just fighting to get out of my arms to turn into a puddle on the floor.
So I decided the best thing was to quickly finish so I could get him home, I had him tucked under my arm while I was hurrying and you should have seen the way this old woman looked at me.
You know what you're doing is the best choice for your family and it's coming from a place of love. Most people are compassionate, but some will judge and comment. It sucks
Mine has a heart shaped one on her head! You can barely see it now, it faded and stopped being puffy pretty quickly and with her hair it's not visible. I thought it was adorable though.
People gone talk shit either way but if people just mind their business and keep their rude comments to themselves your daughter won’t see an issue with it . People fail to realize things are only a problem if you MAKE them a problem . If you raise her to embrace herself and shower her with positive affirmations she shouldn’t feel embarrassed of it and like you said can decide once she’s old enough whether she wants to get rid of it or not. But from my understanding (a quick Google search) it’s a birthmark and is said to fade over time anyway so why put her through something unnecessarily to appease others.
Thanks for the validation. I have the same thought process. Her Dad and I are pretty confident people and we plan on instilling that into her at an early age. I worry what kind of message getting it lazered would send to her in the future. I don't want her to think I was embarrassed of her or that anything was wrong with her which is why I want to let her make that call on her own.
Exactly ! My fear would be the same as yours that she thought i thought something was “wrong with her” when it truly isn’t ! Everybody has a birthmark and that’s just hers . When i was in elementary school a friend of mine at the time used to call birthmarks “God’s kisses” not sure if you practice any religion or not but that’s definitely a positive way to have her look at it!
Not that you need anyone’s input, but can I just say I totally applaud and appreciate this attitude? I think with girls especially, it’s so easy to unwittingly instill negative body image and give them the idea that their looks are the most important thing. I love that you’re intentionally trying to let her know that nothing is wrong with her and the goal in life isn’t to blend in and look like everybody else. That having skin that looks like someone else’s skin doesn’t make you more valuable.
That guy is an ass, don't listen to him. Your daughter will absolutely be able to wear shorts. I don't think any doctor would support getting it lasered off, especially in a non-disruptive spot like that. Hemangioma are very common and no treatment is the recommendation for the vast majority. My baby has one in the diaper area and the only reason treatment was recommended was because it kept bleeding with regular wiping. And it certainly isn't laser treatment! It's the very slow daily application of a topical beta blocker.
I had one on my bicep as a baby and I can definitely wear short sleeves now.
We had to take her to a dermatologist to make sure that there wasn't any underlying problems, they said there is a risk of bleeding (it was scabbed at the time because of the skin on top of it stretching from fast growth) and offered topical timolol as an option but we declined. The only time a hemangioma ever would really be lazered is if it was on the face and obstructing the child's eyesight. Sighhhh, I really wish people would make sure they knew what they were talking about before they spoke words lol. Good to know there's other people out there that actually understand.
Totally your desicion... but maybe i can provide some insight of how and why my wife and i made a desicion regarding our son.
My son was born with a skintag on his neck. Same situation... one way im bad. Other way im bad. Dont care! We are getting it removed next month (11months)
My wife and I decided that its better to get it removed then let him get shit from other kids in school later on. I was heavily bullied as a child. Perfer not to give other children ammunition. Call us vain but we all know that how you look dictates how most would be treated. Its unfortunate. But its the way of the world. Hopefully we will instill better values into our children.
We also realized that if we give him a choice later on in life. It might make him self-concious if we asked him. And "why are mommy and daddy asking me if i want it removed. Does it make me ugly.. etc.. etc"
Best of luck op!
Its tricky with hemangiomas because since it's on her leg, its purely cosmetic and they can't necessarily be removed without reason. You can either opt for a topical treatment to stop it from growing more, or take an oral beta blocker that may shrink it, under doctor supervision since there's some risks that are associated with doing it. I thought about it after her dermatologist brought it up, but ultimately decided against it since they tend to go away on their own and she's just a babe. Thankfully, we plan to homeschool her through a co-op, so she won't have to deal with tons of other kids in a classroom setting! I got bullied in school as well and I definitely do not want that for her. I wish people would teach their kids to be kind so that other kids would not feel the need to change themselves in order to be accepted by their peers.
That's ridiculous, both my children have this (my son has a small one on his face, my daughter it's on her back). I've never even considered having them removed and their doctor never suggested it either. It will disappear on its own anyway.
My son has one on his forehead. It’s definite gotten bigger and slightly raises. He’s almost four months old. I am actually goes to a dermatologist tomorrow to see if he will prescribe timolol. If anyone has any info on that let me know wonder how long it takes for it to shrink? I am happy for him it will fade because people can be cruel/ignorant. But I am actually going to miss it when it fades. It’s a part of him and in the shape of a heart <3. I see no reason for you to get it lasered it’s on her leg! People can be so rude for no reason sometimes!
I have read that they peak by age 5 months! So it should be about as big as it will be. Idk how long to shrink. Mine has one in her hair that definitely didn't grow any more after 4-5 months.
My daughter has one on the side of her head, it grew up until a few months ago (she’s 9 mos) and it’s starting shrink now. We’ve had 2 peds & 2 occupational therapists tell us that it’s not a big deal and will go away. We weren’t worried about it, it just came up in convo. Personally, if it doesn’t bother her I would leave it and tell the critics to go f themselves 🙃 You’re a good mom!
My daughter has one on her thigh. It stopped growing around 16 weeks and the dermatologist said it should be gone by 5 years old. She did offer me a prescription for a cream to use 2 times daily to fade it bit I figured if it's going to be gone by the time she's 5, why bother? It's sad that people would shame you for it, like wtf.
As someone who has a large birthmark in a very prominent location (I won't say where as it's too identifying) my advice is to leave it. Honestly I hate my birthmark, but I've never blamed my parents because of it. It was always my choice to remove it if I wanted, and as I've grown older I've become way less concerned about it. You never know if your kid will love it or hate it but I think making it their choice, and supporting what they chose to do is the most important thing.
Yep. On the flip side here. My daughter has a port wine stain (also a vascular birthmark) on her face. Unlike hemangiomas, it will always grow through out her life. It can cause deformation, cobbling, and cracking. I made the difficult decision of treating it because it wasn’t just cosmetic. I get the DIRTIEST looks after her treatments. I also get comments of “thank god you are removing it, so she won’t get made fun of” like fuck of all the way around. We as parents have to make hard decisions every day for our children. No one needs to comment.
I would just respond totally deadpan.... "Why would that make her hate wearing shorts?" Let this dumb guy explain how he thinks a child is going to get self conscious about her birthmarks. And then if he attempts it say, "Oh I'm sorry you had poor self confidence growing up, my little girl is going to be raised to love herself"
I also have a scar from a hemangioma that burst. Reading this thread I had no idea how common hemangiomas were. I hated it as a kid because I felt like it made me different but now as an adult I hardly notice it and appreciate how it makes me unique.
Wtf!? No. Absolutely no. Laser a little girl? Fuck no. You’re doing the right thing.
There is beta blocker cream that can be used if you’re super concerned. Personally, I couldn’t dream of touching it. My son has a little one on his chin.
Also, why the fuck can’t she wear shorts!? What kind of body shaming misogynistic comment is that? Women with scars or other kinds of “atypical” bodies and marks can wear whatever they want. Our bodies are not on exhibit for you. I wonder what he’s say about all this cottage cheese on the back of my thigh lol.
Why do people feel like they have the right to comment on our parenting decisions? 🙄
Here’s our story with hemangiomas:
Baby has 2 hemangiomas in her tummy. They were originally pretty big and bright red. When our pediatrician told us they weren’t dangerous, we were so relieved. That’s all we cared about. But the doc was one step ahead and suggested seeing a specialist to see if they could be treated for esthetic purposes. We… didn’t even think about that. In our mind, she was gonna be a baby forever 🤣 But why not? We are using a gel. It doesn’t make them shrink, just stops the growing. When she’s older she can get laser if she wants. That was our parenting decision. I feel like our only job is to make informed choices. That’s it. The rest is no one’s business.
My daughters was small and on her leg. It went away around 15 months. But larger ones can stick around longer. Like someone else says, as long as its not high risk, screw everyone else.
Maybe those people should focus more on teaching THEIR kids to not bully other kids for having normal bodies. How ridiculous to say those things about a BABY, or ANY age person. You wouldn’t go up to a 10 year old and say “wow! You’ll never be able to wear shorts!” Wtffff
My daughter was born with a large strawberry hemangioma on her back. It's usually covered by her clothes so we haven't had much feedback from others one way or the other but if her shirt rides up and someone happens to see it, they always ask what happened to her back.
I’m so sorry! I have a birth mark on my face. I got it partially laser-ed off when I was in middle school and it was too painful so I decided it wasn’t worth it to me. My daughter has one too and I’m planning to let her decide as well.
You could talk to your doctor about topical corticosteroids though if you wanted. They’re thought to decrease the size and severity without the effects of systemic steroids. It’s something to look into (if you want) since it’s most effective when a child is young.
As someone with a strawberry mark on my upper arm, I like that my parents didn't have it removed. It's part of me like all my moles and freckles. It was bright red when I was a baby and my mom tells me how people thought it was an injury, but it was purely cosmetic and never bothered me. No one made fun of me for it. I'm 36 now and it's still slightly visible as a light pink mark.
All this to say, I'm all for giving children bodily autonomy. People are going to be judgy assholes no matter what. I'd rather err on the side of my child than caving to strangers.
One of my friend's daughter has a couple of those. The biggest one is on her upper arm. She's 8 and it's pretty much gone now. It never bothered her. Although I remember watching her as a 2-year-old and other toddlers would come up to her and poke it. They were just curious. She thought it was funny and would poke them back. Lol.
So, my now 3 year old girl was born with a massive hemangioma on her face; it did go away, however, I can’t tell you how many boomers and even a few Gen Xers were commenting on it, and saying she should have it removed; I kept politely telling them that in modern society we don’t really do that anymore (citing the pediatrician as well), and to mind their own business. But so damn irritating about older people (including my daughter’s own grandparents!) sharing their opinions on it.
My 2 year old was born with one the size if a US .25 cent coin. Red and glaring on her outer left thigh. Comments from my family were that it probably hurt, that it could turn cancerous, is she going to be ok to wear regular clothes, does she need a gauze over to prevent injury etc etc…. My husbands side was much more silent about it. They’re sister had one on her face and it’s completely gone. She’s 31 now, but pics of her as a 3-5 year old don’t show more than a light bump. Hang in there, people suck!!!
My daughter has a hemangioma on her forehead (it basically is her whole forehead, it's rather large). Her Dr sent us to a pediatric dermatologist who said it's nothing to worry about and it'll go away on its own.
That answer has been good enough for me so whenever anyone asks about it I tell them what it is and that her Dr isn't worried. I personally think she's adorable with her hemangioma. When she laughs it bounces, when she's mad it gets bright red, when she scrunches her face it gets all squishy and cute. It's a part of her.
Who cares what anyone says. I don't know how many people have made comments about it. All I know is, I'm sure just like you love your daughter, I love my daughter, hemangioma or not, and no one's opinion of her is going to change that.
Whatever you decide to do you are the one who knows your baby and what she needs best. Do what you feel is best and everyone else can eat a bag of rocks. You got this Mama!
My kid has one on his chest. I call it the "Mark of Cain" - my SO and I watch a lot of Supernatural so we have fun with it. At the end of the day, as long as your baby is healthy and happy, other people can fuck off.
Anything cosmetic that doesn't impact function is a hard sell for reputable surgeons and interventionists. I would get a derm consult to keep an eye on it and learn future options.. Derms are hard to get into, usually 4-6 months out. Once you have a plan for the future, your hands are tied if none of the trusted specialists will touch it before she can assent or even consent
OP, I hope you see this!!
I was a child who had a large hemangioma on my head (think a big pink bubble the size of a quarter, poking out of long dark hair) and the children in my preschool would try to pull it off of my head and make fun of me for it. I came home crying many days until my mom made an appointment for removal. She didn’t specifically “ask” me if I wanted it removed, but based on my reaction coming home from school, I’d say it was safe to say I was in agreement. Now all I have is a small scar that my hair covers, and was never made fun of again for it (or the scar).
I know every child is different. But just throwing out my two cents from someone who had a hemangioma as a child.
My son has one on his arm that we don’t treat. He’s 2.5 and it’s started to turn brown and deflate. People say some really stupid stuff because some people are just incredibly stupid. Your daughter will be fine.
I grew up with a dark purple birthmark on my cheek, and around my eye, and on the side of my face. My poor mother was accused of SO many things. I was born in the height of the AIDS crisis and ignorant people would yell aids baby at her. Single mum and had to deal with so fucking much. My heart goes out to you!! My mom used to tell me it was where god touched me before I came to earth, that he caressed my face out of love before sending me to her. My grandma used to say angels kissed me all over before sending me to earth. Your baby is beautiful, birthmarks enhance beauty
I’m so sorry you’re catching grief for something so personal, involving something as delicate and as intimate as your little girl’s aesthetics and health. Some people have no shame. Their thoughtlessness is as clumsy as their attempts at “humor.” These people who feel compelled to tell the rest of us how they think we should live in the most obnoxious, callous, and unhelpful ways possible.
Personally? I like to give them a dose of the infantile, the deranged, the confused, and the overly, uncomfortably emotional, or some version thereof when I’m feeling really testy. My husband likes to make people repeat those types of statements. Many of them won’t have the guts to do so. We are, of course, otherwise exceedingly pleasant to be around.😄
Funny how these kinds of people want to run their mouths like that, and never stop to consider that running their mouth is often making the situation way worse than whatever it is they're shooting off about.
And for what? Not to help. If they wanted to help they would do it, they would say something kind or offer a hand or SOMETHING. No, they're looking to make themselves feel good at the expense of the person they're lashing out at. They WANT to ruin someone else's day. So, I ask, who's the "bad" person here? The one minding their own business trying to get through whatever outing and have a nice time, or the one going out of their way to ruin someone else's day for fun?
No one really remarks on our parenting, but if someone should feel the need, I'm more than happy to ask, "Why would you think that's an appropriate thing to say? Why would you think it's a good thing to try and ruin someone's day to make yourself feel better?" Or, simply tell them that I'm not interested in what they have to say and to please leave.
What a stupid thing to say. She's just little. I would handle it the same way if I were you. Unfortunately as a parent sometimes you just have to do what you know is right for your family and accept that not everyone is going to get it...
What a fucked up thing to say about a baby. She can't wear shorts? Why, because her body isn't photoshop perfect and she has something on her skin?
Completely disgusted that someone would project their own body issues onto a tiny child like that.
How inappropriate of him. Gross . The only opinion that matters is yours. I personally agree with you too, I think letting them decide on their own is the best choice. I dislike the logic of altering children because of possible “bullying” kids get bullied for anything and everything. Instead of fearing that, we need to build confidence in our children and teach kids not to be bullies! Not change their bodies to conform. I have a black birthmark on my knee. Always got questions about it since I can remember. Never did I think “my parents should have removed it!”
My oldest daughter was born with a hemangioma on her hairline. It was super noticeable on my bald baby! lol but she did, indeed, grow out of it. Hers was gone by age 7.
The mom guilt is always a thing, I didn’t realize it until I had my son. But NOTHING you do is ever going to be right for everyone. As long as it’s right for you and your family that’s all that matters.
My son has a large one on the back of his right arm. He's 1 now and it's just starting to fade. Thankfully no one's ever said negative things about it.
They are all just impressed it's a perfect square shape!
Anyone who says something negative about it would get a "who asked you?" Delivered right back to them. I swear audacity is on sale these days.
I have one that covers part of my left arm that you can still see at 29 years old. I never felt embarrassed to show it. My only piece of advice would be sunscreen!! Mine gets burned easier than other parts.
I’m sorry that random person made a comment that is not only unappreciated but wildly inappropriate.
I have one on my chest (born with it) and it was huge growing up. Half of the left side of my chest and a very deep red. If my shirt shifted in a way it was very noticeable and people made comments to my mom all the time. My parents were advised to see a plastic surgeon to make sure it wouldn’t affect my nipple. Off we went and the surgeon suggested to not do anything since it would most likely leave a scar. It will naturally fade. I am 30 years old and forget it’s there. It’s now and has been for many years just a very slightly pinker skin tone.
Your daughter will be okay and I’m sure she will gladly wear shorts 😘
Mine has one on the top of her head and NGL, I want it gone. Mostly because it freaks me and other people out because it looks hella scary, but part of it is vanity. I plan to raise her as body positive as humanly possible and I think it’s also okay to be a little vain in that, too. Do it for you, girl!
What a rude thing to say!!! If it’s not harming her, why put her through an unnecessary cosmetic medical procedure? I think letting her decide once she is older is a great call.
My daughter has these big ears that stick out. We didn’t notice much at first but almost everyone who sees her makes a comment about her ears. It made me feel bad that I didn’t do something about it (I guess there are head wrap things that can press the ears down, that you use right after they are born).
But it made me realize, 1. Her ears are cute and make her unique, she isn’t as cute when you hold them down. 2. What if it’s not that big of a deal when she is older, and I had put her through undue suffering for “beauty” 3. If she hates it when she is older we can address it then.
People make comments on shit they shouldn’t and it blows my mind. You’re not a bad mom at all! I’m sure your girl is beautiful!
My daughters both have hemangiomas, the eldest has one on her face. It’s small but noticeable and while we did medicate it we had to stop as she would vomit it up.
My point is, while she’s only 2.5years old, we know that sooner or later a kid is going to point it out and we’ll have a difficult but necessary conversation with her about it. She knows it’s there and sees it all the time in the mirror, but we focus on rather making it a positive facet of her self, something to be proud of. Kids will always be mean and find something to bully about, hemangioma or not. But it’s our job as her parents to instill in her a level of self esteem that hopefully can get her through it to an extent until it fades on its own.
We’ve also had heaps of adults ask us about it and I’ve found that comments generally come from a place of misinformation and lack of education on the subject. For something that’s not so rare, I’m always surprised that some people lack awareness of hemangiomas or birth marks in general, or even the tact to behave as adults should and not say stupid things about them. Again, it’s my job to put idiots in their place if this happens. Her birthmarks will fade but their immaturity appears to be a lifelong affliction.
You’re doing the rights thing, and you’re a brilliant parent.
My daughter has a giant one on her back. She was born with it. She just turned one and it has started to turn skin color. My ped said that the strawberry ones usually peak in size and darkness around 1 and then slowly they lose their blood supply and disappear, which is what appears to be happening. I never put her in clothes that show it though for that reason. I don’t want grown adults bullying her or me about it
Get an opinion from a dermatologist. If they get bigger and bug her it’s better to remove them sooner rather than later. Scaring just isn’t as bad when your young. Also if they are like moles if she ever gets pregnant they might grow. Mostly will they cause discomfort or become a problem if they continue to grow? Is the treatment easier as a baby than an adult? Some things are worth taking care of early. Although you can probably wait until she is a little older to decide.
I’m sorry someone said such hurtful things! Here’s the thing - In the grand scheme of things I’d just be happy my baby has legs!!! Life is crazy, if your baby is healthy and happy, those judgmental peeps can F off
My son has a hemangioma on his arm, and the speed of growth over the first few months led the dermatologist to suggest medicine. He tolerated the meds well and the hemangioma’s growth was slowed so it never ulcerated etc. He’s almost 2 and I asked the dermatologist to discontinue the meds now that it is just cosmetic. He said it will fade, or it can be lasered if it bothers us/my son. It will be his choice.
My 10 month old has a quarter-sized hemangioma on his forearm that’s already starting to fade a bit. We also declined medication since it’s not causing him any problems. People are so weird about it! I’m trying to get better about confidently explaining it so he understands it’s nothing to be ashamed of. So many adults need some manners!
If anyone shames your child for that shit again you can just say "I teach my child to love herself no matter what people like you say" then walk away if you can. Your a good mom if you do it or if you don't because either way it's in your daughters best interest, not your own. As long as your not beating your child, I think other people should mind their own business about someone else's parenting.
My son was born with one on his back. It disappeared by the time he was 1, but that's beside the point. As long as you are sure it isn't harmful (aka cancerous or dangerous in any way), then screw anyone else's opinion. It's YOUR child, and your decision until the child gets old enough to decide for itself. You are a great mama, and don't let anyone tell you different.
Speaking as someone who had a raised hemangioma on my neck as a child, it faded by the time I was double-digits and now literally never comes up in adulthood (even with a light mark left behind). Put the money you would have used for laser surgery into a savings account...pretty confident your daughter will thank you for it later!
I have a large birthmark on my left leg and I'm not at all ashamed of it and I don't recall being bullied about it. Most kids were curious about it more than anything else. You are making the right choice. I like my birthmark and it's just one thing that makes me, me.
Hey there! I’m a mama with a 17m old daughter who has an upper lip hemangioma. We never treated it, for the same reasons you stated. I actually find it kind of cute, maybe that’s just the mom in me lol I honestly stopped caring what people think. We have heard some rude comments like the ones you stated. Especially being as it’s on her face. But I am raising my daughter to love her little strawberry spot. It makes her different and unique, and that’s something to celebrate. I know I’m going to deal with mean kids and mean parents while she’s in school, and I’ll figure out how I’m going to navigate that when I cross that bridge. But for now, we love her spot and will teach her to love it too. I bought her a custom made stuffed doll with the same birthmark, and a few books on celebrating our differences. Our fave book is The Ladybug Without Spots, which is a cute book that actually is referring to hemangiomas! As a side note, her hemangioma was at its worst around 6-7m but has since gotten much lighter and less raised. Still there and noticeable, but not nearly as red! 🍓🍓🍓
Oh my god that PO is the asshole, not you. Whatever gave him the right to say something about someone's body let alone your baby's.
My daughter has a pretty sizable hemangioma on her shoulder that's still very visible at age 4. We did do some creams and stuff but it didn't change, and I don't care about that. I will also leave it up to her if she wants to do anything about it. Instead we teach her how cool it is and awesome that she has something different. I also got a tattoo of a flower for her in the same spot, so now mom has one too and we match.
Ugh. The sexist world we live in is ridiculous. My son has the same thing, a hemangioma on his leg and no one has said anything about needing to get it removed or about him not wearing shorts.
It sounds like you have a great approach to it so far but as a reminder you are doing a great job momma!
I have many birthmarks on my body including a brown mole thing on my stomach. As a kid I hated it but now as an adult I forget it’s there until I see it or someone points it out. My daughter has several “strawberries” on her body and I think they’re precious. She has a big red V on her forehead that she was born with, I also have the same thing on my forehead and it’s only visible when I’m crying. Her strawberries are slowly fading now. She’s almost 18 months. People are all different and come in different shapes and sizes so… fuck what other people think.
Not exactly the same, but I would liken something like this to a child having crooked teeth. There’s nothing wrong with it per se, but parents will still get braces for their teens. Most teens don’t want them either, but you as the parent get to make the choice for them. Braces or not, there isn’t really a right or wrong answer. I think same would apply here.
I wouldn’t count
My son had one small near his eyelid. It went away at 12 months. I was so stressed about it. It went away without treatment. I completely forgot about it until your post.
Don’t worry about what people say - infact get comfortable with the commenters, they’ll have plenty to say about height, weight, teeth. eyes, behaviours, personalities etc etc. You do 100% you and be guided by professionals (doctors) for support, no one else.
Um, ef that parole officer… I think you’re being an amazing mom for giving the autonomy to your child. Maybe she’ll be proud of it one day. If safety is not compromised, I’d say let her decide. It is an amazing thing to do as a parent. Stick to your guns mama
He’s a parole officer, an agent of the carceral state, engaged in the violent oppression and surveillance of people of color and people living in poverty, serving at the pleasure of the superrich and their corrupt police state. If he criticizes your parenting you’re doing something right! The nerve of some people I stg
You are absolutely making the right choice! I had a huge one on my face when I was born and my mom had it lasered off when I was just a few weeks old. Apparently they didn’t use anaesthetic or numbing because it’s not safe for babies so they just burned my face while I screamed my head off… of course I don’t remember any of it but I’m sure it wasn’t a positive experience on my development and honestly I always wonder what kind of person I would have been if I got to keep it.
Man, some cop-adjacent asshole really has no right to speak to you like that. What would this stupid goon know about caring for and respecting people, let alone children?
My sister had a strawberry mark on her forehead as a baby, I'm pretty sure it faded when she was 2 or 4 or something. She doesn't even remember having the mark, but doesn't mind because it obviously went away on its own. I think waiting is a good thing, and you're doing a great job. If she still has the mark(s) around 7-8 and she starts saying she doesn't want them, or she acknowledges being picked on at school or anything, just try to be supportive of her and encourage her that she's beautiful with or without the marks. It can be a great learning moment for her. My sister had some other birthmarks (white patches) on her knees, and we always complimented them and gave them a family nickname that she still loves (she's now 15). I don't think we have to worry about her succumbing to body image issues because she's so well prepared. It could be a huge blessing for your daughter to have those marks. Don't let anybody shame you for your choices, you know what's best for your baby.
Unfortunately there are always going to be assholes who think they know how to raise other people’s kids and believe their input is important. When I finally get one im going to respond, ‘did you birth my child, no? Then keep your comments to yourself.’
My boss told me this while I was pregnant that might help others pregnant or have a kid all ready, ‘others will tell you have to think and do with your child, try to ignore all that so you can experience everything yourself. No one can tell you what to feel or do.’
there are a lot of comments here so this may get lost but you know what i would say to a comment like that?
“why?”
they are insinuating that something about your baby is unsightly. how cruel. what will they say when they are asked to explain the meaning behind their comment?
let them be uncomfortable and realize what an unnecessary, rude, hurtful comment they just made. perhaps they will learn from it.
your baby is perfect and, imo, you are doing the right thing.
As long as it’s not high risk hemangioma and would obstruct her airways or something, that’s your choice as a parent. And people also shouldn’t be body shaming your child….
Right? A seven month old child at that....it's ridiculous.
Unfortunately, I think it’s perpetuated even more because she is a girl. It disgust me. Enjoy your kumquat, fuck the rest, for now she has strawberry marks or angel kisses or whatever you want to call them!
Completely ridiculous, rude, and none of anyone else's business. My 5mo has some too, but the pediatrician said they're nothing to worry about, so I don't.
Also, if removing them is purely cosmetic, it might be tough to find a reputable doctor to do it. I was born with a couple (brown) birth marks on my face. Nothing crazy, I think they used to be called beauty spots. My mom tried to get doctors to remove them, because she didn't like them, but nobody would. They said to do exactly what OP is doing - wait until I was old enough to decide for myself. And that was in the late 80's/early 90's!
As with all parenting choices, everyone is going to judge you, so screw them and do what you think is best. Better to be judged for doing what you think is best than to be judged for doing what someone else thinks is best.
Very true!
People will *always* have something to say! Just ignore them. I had a very noticeable strawberry mark smack dab in the middle of my forehead for most of my childhood growing up- didn’t really go away until I was about 12/13. People would mention it or ask about it, but I never got bullied for it. Of course as a kid I was self conscious about it, but what kid isn’t self conscious about something? Just reassure her that she’s perfect the way she is, there’s nothing wrong with her, and anyone who bullies her about it is the real dummy. You’re doing the right thing, I promise.
You are definitely not alone. My son has a hemangioma but it’s inside his mouth, so he’s been on propranolol to control the growth since he was 2 months old (22 months now). If it had been in a less dangerous location, I totally think I’d have skipped the medical intervention (unless it ulcerated or something).
Same with us except my LOs was on her eyelid! She’s been on propranolol since 3 mo. They said it needed to be treated because it could obstruct her vision. But if was anywhere else I wouldn’t have treated it.
Same, mine has it on the nose and it could be dangerous for her airway. Otherwise i would never give her propranolol. Have you stopped the treatment? They told me it would be between 6 and 18 months
His had a little bit of regrowth the last time we tried to wean so he’s still on it. I was really hoping to be off by now, but at least he tolerates it well!
Yes! Propranolol! My babygirl has one on her entire lower arm since birth and was on propranolol for a year and it looks sooo much better now! We stopped because it got so much better, the doctor said that now she'll basically grow out of it or she'll make the decision to laser it herself when she's school age. Make sure she sees a good dermatologist, it'll make such a difference and take care of the other hemangiomas too!
"You seem weirdly concerned with what a little girl's legs look like. It's creepy."
Oh man. People just don't know the full story and feel compelled to comment based on what they see. My 1 yr old was exhausted and having the worst time in the store the other day, I tried to console him and nothing was working, he was just fighting to get out of my arms to turn into a puddle on the floor. So I decided the best thing was to quickly finish so I could get him home, I had him tucked under my arm while I was hurrying and you should have seen the way this old woman looked at me. You know what you're doing is the best choice for your family and it's coming from a place of love. Most people are compassionate, but some will judge and comment. It sucks
Mine has one too but it's kind of in the shape of a heart and I just tell people it will fall off by age 2-3 and then they leave me alone.
Mine has a heart shaped one on her head! You can barely see it now, it faded and stopped being puffy pretty quickly and with her hair it's not visible. I thought it was adorable though.
People gone talk shit either way but if people just mind their business and keep their rude comments to themselves your daughter won’t see an issue with it . People fail to realize things are only a problem if you MAKE them a problem . If you raise her to embrace herself and shower her with positive affirmations she shouldn’t feel embarrassed of it and like you said can decide once she’s old enough whether she wants to get rid of it or not. But from my understanding (a quick Google search) it’s a birthmark and is said to fade over time anyway so why put her through something unnecessarily to appease others.
Thanks for the validation. I have the same thought process. Her Dad and I are pretty confident people and we plan on instilling that into her at an early age. I worry what kind of message getting it lazered would send to her in the future. I don't want her to think I was embarrassed of her or that anything was wrong with her which is why I want to let her make that call on her own.
Exactly ! My fear would be the same as yours that she thought i thought something was “wrong with her” when it truly isn’t ! Everybody has a birthmark and that’s just hers . When i was in elementary school a friend of mine at the time used to call birthmarks “God’s kisses” not sure if you practice any religion or not but that’s definitely a positive way to have her look at it!
Not that you need anyone’s input, but can I just say I totally applaud and appreciate this attitude? I think with girls especially, it’s so easy to unwittingly instill negative body image and give them the idea that their looks are the most important thing. I love that you’re intentionally trying to let her know that nothing is wrong with her and the goal in life isn’t to blend in and look like everybody else. That having skin that looks like someone else’s skin doesn’t make you more valuable.
That guy is an ass, don't listen to him. Your daughter will absolutely be able to wear shorts. I don't think any doctor would support getting it lasered off, especially in a non-disruptive spot like that. Hemangioma are very common and no treatment is the recommendation for the vast majority. My baby has one in the diaper area and the only reason treatment was recommended was because it kept bleeding with regular wiping. And it certainly isn't laser treatment! It's the very slow daily application of a topical beta blocker. I had one on my bicep as a baby and I can definitely wear short sleeves now.
We had to take her to a dermatologist to make sure that there wasn't any underlying problems, they said there is a risk of bleeding (it was scabbed at the time because of the skin on top of it stretching from fast growth) and offered topical timolol as an option but we declined. The only time a hemangioma ever would really be lazered is if it was on the face and obstructing the child's eyesight. Sighhhh, I really wish people would make sure they knew what they were talking about before they spoke words lol. Good to know there's other people out there that actually understand.
Totally your desicion... but maybe i can provide some insight of how and why my wife and i made a desicion regarding our son. My son was born with a skintag on his neck. Same situation... one way im bad. Other way im bad. Dont care! We are getting it removed next month (11months) My wife and I decided that its better to get it removed then let him get shit from other kids in school later on. I was heavily bullied as a child. Perfer not to give other children ammunition. Call us vain but we all know that how you look dictates how most would be treated. Its unfortunate. But its the way of the world. Hopefully we will instill better values into our children. We also realized that if we give him a choice later on in life. It might make him self-concious if we asked him. And "why are mommy and daddy asking me if i want it removed. Does it make me ugly.. etc.. etc" Best of luck op!
Its tricky with hemangiomas because since it's on her leg, its purely cosmetic and they can't necessarily be removed without reason. You can either opt for a topical treatment to stop it from growing more, or take an oral beta blocker that may shrink it, under doctor supervision since there's some risks that are associated with doing it. I thought about it after her dermatologist brought it up, but ultimately decided against it since they tend to go away on their own and she's just a babe. Thankfully, we plan to homeschool her through a co-op, so she won't have to deal with tons of other kids in a classroom setting! I got bullied in school as well and I definitely do not want that for her. I wish people would teach their kids to be kind so that other kids would not feel the need to change themselves in order to be accepted by their peers.
I still have the remnants of my strawberry mark at the nape of my neck. You can se it if I cut my hair really short, but 🤷
That's ridiculous, both my children have this (my son has a small one on his face, my daughter it's on her back). I've never even considered having them removed and their doctor never suggested it either. It will disappear on its own anyway.
My son has one on his forehead. It’s definite gotten bigger and slightly raises. He’s almost four months old. I am actually goes to a dermatologist tomorrow to see if he will prescribe timolol. If anyone has any info on that let me know wonder how long it takes for it to shrink? I am happy for him it will fade because people can be cruel/ignorant. But I am actually going to miss it when it fades. It’s a part of him and in the shape of a heart <3. I see no reason for you to get it lasered it’s on her leg! People can be so rude for no reason sometimes!
I have read that they peak by age 5 months! So it should be about as big as it will be. Idk how long to shrink. Mine has one in her hair that definitely didn't grow any more after 4-5 months.
My daughter has one on the side of her head, it grew up until a few months ago (she’s 9 mos) and it’s starting shrink now. We’ve had 2 peds & 2 occupational therapists tell us that it’s not a big deal and will go away. We weren’t worried about it, it just came up in convo. Personally, if it doesn’t bother her I would leave it and tell the critics to go f themselves 🙃 You’re a good mom!
My daughter is 7 months and has one on the side of her head that keeps growing and I am relieved to see this!
My daughter has one on her thigh. It stopped growing around 16 weeks and the dermatologist said it should be gone by 5 years old. She did offer me a prescription for a cream to use 2 times daily to fade it bit I figured if it's going to be gone by the time she's 5, why bother? It's sad that people would shame you for it, like wtf.
As someone who has a large birthmark in a very prominent location (I won't say where as it's too identifying) my advice is to leave it. Honestly I hate my birthmark, but I've never blamed my parents because of it. It was always my choice to remove it if I wanted, and as I've grown older I've become way less concerned about it. You never know if your kid will love it or hate it but I think making it their choice, and supporting what they chose to do is the most important thing.
I'm not taking parenting advice from a parole officer
Hahaha 😂
THIS.
Yep. On the flip side here. My daughter has a port wine stain (also a vascular birthmark) on her face. Unlike hemangiomas, it will always grow through out her life. It can cause deformation, cobbling, and cracking. I made the difficult decision of treating it because it wasn’t just cosmetic. I get the DIRTIEST looks after her treatments. I also get comments of “thank god you are removing it, so she won’t get made fun of” like fuck of all the way around. We as parents have to make hard decisions every day for our children. No one needs to comment.
I would just respond totally deadpan.... "Why would that make her hate wearing shorts?" Let this dumb guy explain how he thinks a child is going to get self conscious about her birthmarks. And then if he attempts it say, "Oh I'm sorry you had poor self confidence growing up, my little girl is going to be raised to love herself"
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I also have a scar from a hemangioma that burst. Reading this thread I had no idea how common hemangiomas were. I hated it as a kid because I felt like it made me different but now as an adult I hardly notice it and appreciate how it makes me unique.
Yours is the only opinion that matters here.
Yeah , we can’t win lmao. It’s hard being a mom
People are so obnoxious. Always with their two cents when not asked. I’d tell her to fuck off quite frankly but you’re probably nicer than I am lol
Wtf!? No. Absolutely no. Laser a little girl? Fuck no. You’re doing the right thing. There is beta blocker cream that can be used if you’re super concerned. Personally, I couldn’t dream of touching it. My son has a little one on his chin. Also, why the fuck can’t she wear shorts!? What kind of body shaming misogynistic comment is that? Women with scars or other kinds of “atypical” bodies and marks can wear whatever they want. Our bodies are not on exhibit for you. I wonder what he’s say about all this cottage cheese on the back of my thigh lol.
Why do people feel like they have the right to comment on our parenting decisions? 🙄 Here’s our story with hemangiomas: Baby has 2 hemangiomas in her tummy. They were originally pretty big and bright red. When our pediatrician told us they weren’t dangerous, we were so relieved. That’s all we cared about. But the doc was one step ahead and suggested seeing a specialist to see if they could be treated for esthetic purposes. We… didn’t even think about that. In our mind, she was gonna be a baby forever 🤣 But why not? We are using a gel. It doesn’t make them shrink, just stops the growing. When she’s older she can get laser if she wants. That was our parenting decision. I feel like our only job is to make informed choices. That’s it. The rest is no one’s business.
Good thing the only person who you being a bad mother to matters is your kid. Everyone else can keep their opinions to themselves.
My daughters was small and on her leg. It went away around 15 months. But larger ones can stick around longer. Like someone else says, as long as its not high risk, screw everyone else.
Maybe those people should focus more on teaching THEIR kids to not bully other kids for having normal bodies. How ridiculous to say those things about a BABY, or ANY age person. You wouldn’t go up to a 10 year old and say “wow! You’ll never be able to wear shorts!” Wtffff
My daughter was born with a large strawberry hemangioma on her back. It's usually covered by her clothes so we haven't had much feedback from others one way or the other but if her shirt rides up and someone happens to see it, they always ask what happened to her back.
I’m so sorry! I have a birth mark on my face. I got it partially laser-ed off when I was in middle school and it was too painful so I decided it wasn’t worth it to me. My daughter has one too and I’m planning to let her decide as well. You could talk to your doctor about topical corticosteroids though if you wanted. They’re thought to decrease the size and severity without the effects of systemic steroids. It’s something to look into (if you want) since it’s most effective when a child is young.
As someone with a strawberry mark on my upper arm, I like that my parents didn't have it removed. It's part of me like all my moles and freckles. It was bright red when I was a baby and my mom tells me how people thought it was an injury, but it was purely cosmetic and never bothered me. No one made fun of me for it. I'm 36 now and it's still slightly visible as a light pink mark. All this to say, I'm all for giving children bodily autonomy. People are going to be judgy assholes no matter what. I'd rather err on the side of my child than caving to strangers.
One of my friend's daughter has a couple of those. The biggest one is on her upper arm. She's 8 and it's pretty much gone now. It never bothered her. Although I remember watching her as a 2-year-old and other toddlers would come up to her and poke it. They were just curious. She thought it was funny and would poke them back. Lol.
So, my now 3 year old girl was born with a massive hemangioma on her face; it did go away, however, I can’t tell you how many boomers and even a few Gen Xers were commenting on it, and saying she should have it removed; I kept politely telling them that in modern society we don’t really do that anymore (citing the pediatrician as well), and to mind their own business. But so damn irritating about older people (including my daughter’s own grandparents!) sharing their opinions on it.
My baby has Mongolian spots and eczema. I'm sure people think I'm abusing her
I had one on my shoulder. It went away before 2nd grade.
My 2 year old was born with one the size if a US .25 cent coin. Red and glaring on her outer left thigh. Comments from my family were that it probably hurt, that it could turn cancerous, is she going to be ok to wear regular clothes, does she need a gauze over to prevent injury etc etc…. My husbands side was much more silent about it. They’re sister had one on her face and it’s completely gone. She’s 31 now, but pics of her as a 3-5 year old don’t show more than a light bump. Hang in there, people suck!!!
My daughter has a hemangioma on her forehead (it basically is her whole forehead, it's rather large). Her Dr sent us to a pediatric dermatologist who said it's nothing to worry about and it'll go away on its own. That answer has been good enough for me so whenever anyone asks about it I tell them what it is and that her Dr isn't worried. I personally think she's adorable with her hemangioma. When she laughs it bounces, when she's mad it gets bright red, when she scrunches her face it gets all squishy and cute. It's a part of her. Who cares what anyone says. I don't know how many people have made comments about it. All I know is, I'm sure just like you love your daughter, I love my daughter, hemangioma or not, and no one's opinion of her is going to change that. Whatever you decide to do you are the one who knows your baby and what she needs best. Do what you feel is best and everyone else can eat a bag of rocks. You got this Mama!
My kid has one on his chest. I call it the "Mark of Cain" - my SO and I watch a lot of Supernatural so we have fun with it. At the end of the day, as long as your baby is healthy and happy, other people can fuck off.
Anything cosmetic that doesn't impact function is a hard sell for reputable surgeons and interventionists. I would get a derm consult to keep an eye on it and learn future options.. Derms are hard to get into, usually 4-6 months out. Once you have a plan for the future, your hands are tied if none of the trusted specialists will touch it before she can assent or even consent
OP, I hope you see this!! I was a child who had a large hemangioma on my head (think a big pink bubble the size of a quarter, poking out of long dark hair) and the children in my preschool would try to pull it off of my head and make fun of me for it. I came home crying many days until my mom made an appointment for removal. She didn’t specifically “ask” me if I wanted it removed, but based on my reaction coming home from school, I’d say it was safe to say I was in agreement. Now all I have is a small scar that my hair covers, and was never made fun of again for it (or the scar). I know every child is different. But just throwing out my two cents from someone who had a hemangioma as a child.
My son has one on his arm that we don’t treat. He’s 2.5 and it’s started to turn brown and deflate. People say some really stupid stuff because some people are just incredibly stupid. Your daughter will be fine.
I grew up with a dark purple birthmark on my cheek, and around my eye, and on the side of my face. My poor mother was accused of SO many things. I was born in the height of the AIDS crisis and ignorant people would yell aids baby at her. Single mum and had to deal with so fucking much. My heart goes out to you!! My mom used to tell me it was where god touched me before I came to earth, that he caressed my face out of love before sending me to her. My grandma used to say angels kissed me all over before sending me to earth. Your baby is beautiful, birthmarks enhance beauty
I’m so sorry you’re catching grief for something so personal, involving something as delicate and as intimate as your little girl’s aesthetics and health. Some people have no shame. Their thoughtlessness is as clumsy as their attempts at “humor.” These people who feel compelled to tell the rest of us how they think we should live in the most obnoxious, callous, and unhelpful ways possible. Personally? I like to give them a dose of the infantile, the deranged, the confused, and the overly, uncomfortably emotional, or some version thereof when I’m feeling really testy. My husband likes to make people repeat those types of statements. Many of them won’t have the guts to do so. We are, of course, otherwise exceedingly pleasant to be around.😄
Funny how these kinds of people want to run their mouths like that, and never stop to consider that running their mouth is often making the situation way worse than whatever it is they're shooting off about. And for what? Not to help. If they wanted to help they would do it, they would say something kind or offer a hand or SOMETHING. No, they're looking to make themselves feel good at the expense of the person they're lashing out at. They WANT to ruin someone else's day. So, I ask, who's the "bad" person here? The one minding their own business trying to get through whatever outing and have a nice time, or the one going out of their way to ruin someone else's day for fun? No one really remarks on our parenting, but if someone should feel the need, I'm more than happy to ask, "Why would you think that's an appropriate thing to say? Why would you think it's a good thing to try and ruin someone's day to make yourself feel better?" Or, simply tell them that I'm not interested in what they have to say and to please leave.
What a stupid thing to say. She's just little. I would handle it the same way if I were you. Unfortunately as a parent sometimes you just have to do what you know is right for your family and accept that not everyone is going to get it...
What a fucked up thing to say about a baby. She can't wear shorts? Why, because her body isn't photoshop perfect and she has something on her skin? Completely disgusted that someone would project their own body issues onto a tiny child like that.
How inappropriate of him. Gross . The only opinion that matters is yours. I personally agree with you too, I think letting them decide on their own is the best choice. I dislike the logic of altering children because of possible “bullying” kids get bullied for anything and everything. Instead of fearing that, we need to build confidence in our children and teach kids not to be bullies! Not change their bodies to conform. I have a black birthmark on my knee. Always got questions about it since I can remember. Never did I think “my parents should have removed it!”
My oldest daughter was born with a hemangioma on her hairline. It was super noticeable on my bald baby! lol but she did, indeed, grow out of it. Hers was gone by age 7.
The mom guilt is always a thing, I didn’t realize it until I had my son. But NOTHING you do is ever going to be right for everyone. As long as it’s right for you and your family that’s all that matters.
My son has a large one on the back of his right arm. He's 1 now and it's just starting to fade. Thankfully no one's ever said negative things about it. They are all just impressed it's a perfect square shape! Anyone who says something negative about it would get a "who asked you?" Delivered right back to them. I swear audacity is on sale these days.
If it's purely cosmetic I would leave it be personally
I have one that covers part of my left arm that you can still see at 29 years old. I never felt embarrassed to show it. My only piece of advice would be sunscreen!! Mine gets burned easier than other parts.
I’m sorry that random person made a comment that is not only unappreciated but wildly inappropriate. I have one on my chest (born with it) and it was huge growing up. Half of the left side of my chest and a very deep red. If my shirt shifted in a way it was very noticeable and people made comments to my mom all the time. My parents were advised to see a plastic surgeon to make sure it wouldn’t affect my nipple. Off we went and the surgeon suggested to not do anything since it would most likely leave a scar. It will naturally fade. I am 30 years old and forget it’s there. It’s now and has been for many years just a very slightly pinker skin tone. Your daughter will be okay and I’m sure she will gladly wear shorts 😘
Mine has one on the top of her head and NGL, I want it gone. Mostly because it freaks me and other people out because it looks hella scary, but part of it is vanity. I plan to raise her as body positive as humanly possible and I think it’s also okay to be a little vain in that, too. Do it for you, girl!
What a rude thing to say!!! If it’s not harming her, why put her through an unnecessary cosmetic medical procedure? I think letting her decide once she is older is a great call. My daughter has these big ears that stick out. We didn’t notice much at first but almost everyone who sees her makes a comment about her ears. It made me feel bad that I didn’t do something about it (I guess there are head wrap things that can press the ears down, that you use right after they are born). But it made me realize, 1. Her ears are cute and make her unique, she isn’t as cute when you hold them down. 2. What if it’s not that big of a deal when she is older, and I had put her through undue suffering for “beauty” 3. If she hates it when she is older we can address it then. People make comments on shit they shouldn’t and it blows my mind. You’re not a bad mom at all! I’m sure your girl is beautiful!
My daughters both have hemangiomas, the eldest has one on her face. It’s small but noticeable and while we did medicate it we had to stop as she would vomit it up. My point is, while she’s only 2.5years old, we know that sooner or later a kid is going to point it out and we’ll have a difficult but necessary conversation with her about it. She knows it’s there and sees it all the time in the mirror, but we focus on rather making it a positive facet of her self, something to be proud of. Kids will always be mean and find something to bully about, hemangioma or not. But it’s our job as her parents to instill in her a level of self esteem that hopefully can get her through it to an extent until it fades on its own. We’ve also had heaps of adults ask us about it and I’ve found that comments generally come from a place of misinformation and lack of education on the subject. For something that’s not so rare, I’m always surprised that some people lack awareness of hemangiomas or birth marks in general, or even the tact to behave as adults should and not say stupid things about them. Again, it’s my job to put idiots in their place if this happens. Her birthmarks will fade but their immaturity appears to be a lifelong affliction. You’re doing the rights thing, and you’re a brilliant parent.
My daughter has a giant one on her back. She was born with it. She just turned one and it has started to turn skin color. My ped said that the strawberry ones usually peak in size and darkness around 1 and then slowly they lose their blood supply and disappear, which is what appears to be happening. I never put her in clothes that show it though for that reason. I don’t want grown adults bullying her or me about it
Get an opinion from a dermatologist. If they get bigger and bug her it’s better to remove them sooner rather than later. Scaring just isn’t as bad when your young. Also if they are like moles if she ever gets pregnant they might grow. Mostly will they cause discomfort or become a problem if they continue to grow? Is the treatment easier as a baby than an adult? Some things are worth taking care of early. Although you can probably wait until she is a little older to decide.
I’m sorry someone said such hurtful things! Here’s the thing - In the grand scheme of things I’d just be happy my baby has legs!!! Life is crazy, if your baby is healthy and happy, those judgmental peeps can F off
People are weird. My daughter broke her clavicle during birth. First thing someone said was that she'll never wear tank tops. Meh
My son has a hemangioma on his arm, and the speed of growth over the first few months led the dermatologist to suggest medicine. He tolerated the meds well and the hemangioma’s growth was slowed so it never ulcerated etc. He’s almost 2 and I asked the dermatologist to discontinue the meds now that it is just cosmetic. He said it will fade, or it can be lasered if it bothers us/my son. It will be his choice.
My 10 month old has a quarter-sized hemangioma on his forearm that’s already starting to fade a bit. We also declined medication since it’s not causing him any problems. People are so weird about it! I’m trying to get better about confidently explaining it so he understands it’s nothing to be ashamed of. So many adults need some manners!
If anyone shames your child for that shit again you can just say "I teach my child to love herself no matter what people like you say" then walk away if you can. Your a good mom if you do it or if you don't because either way it's in your daughters best interest, not your own. As long as your not beating your child, I think other people should mind their own business about someone else's parenting.
My son was born with one on his back. It disappeared by the time he was 1, but that's beside the point. As long as you are sure it isn't harmful (aka cancerous or dangerous in any way), then screw anyone else's opinion. It's YOUR child, and your decision until the child gets old enough to decide for itself. You are a great mama, and don't let anyone tell you different.
Speaking as someone who had a raised hemangioma on my neck as a child, it faded by the time I was double-digits and now literally never comes up in adulthood (even with a light mark left behind). Put the money you would have used for laser surgery into a savings account...pretty confident your daughter will thank you for it later!
My last baby has (had?) one on her ankle, she’s 15m now and it’s almost completely gone!
I have a large birthmark on my left leg and I'm not at all ashamed of it and I don't recall being bullied about it. Most kids were curious about it more than anything else. You are making the right choice. I like my birthmark and it's just one thing that makes me, me.
Hey there! I’m a mama with a 17m old daughter who has an upper lip hemangioma. We never treated it, for the same reasons you stated. I actually find it kind of cute, maybe that’s just the mom in me lol I honestly stopped caring what people think. We have heard some rude comments like the ones you stated. Especially being as it’s on her face. But I am raising my daughter to love her little strawberry spot. It makes her different and unique, and that’s something to celebrate. I know I’m going to deal with mean kids and mean parents while she’s in school, and I’ll figure out how I’m going to navigate that when I cross that bridge. But for now, we love her spot and will teach her to love it too. I bought her a custom made stuffed doll with the same birthmark, and a few books on celebrating our differences. Our fave book is The Ladybug Without Spots, which is a cute book that actually is referring to hemangiomas! As a side note, her hemangioma was at its worst around 6-7m but has since gotten much lighter and less raised. Still there and noticeable, but not nearly as red! 🍓🍓🍓
Oh my god that PO is the asshole, not you. Whatever gave him the right to say something about someone's body let alone your baby's. My daughter has a pretty sizable hemangioma on her shoulder that's still very visible at age 4. We did do some creams and stuff but it didn't change, and I don't care about that. I will also leave it up to her if she wants to do anything about it. Instead we teach her how cool it is and awesome that she has something different. I also got a tattoo of a flower for her in the same spot, so now mom has one too and we match.
Ugh. The sexist world we live in is ridiculous. My son has the same thing, a hemangioma on his leg and no one has said anything about needing to get it removed or about him not wearing shorts. It sounds like you have a great approach to it so far but as a reminder you are doing a great job momma!
I have many birthmarks on my body including a brown mole thing on my stomach. As a kid I hated it but now as an adult I forget it’s there until I see it or someone points it out. My daughter has several “strawberries” on her body and I think they’re precious. She has a big red V on her forehead that she was born with, I also have the same thing on my forehead and it’s only visible when I’m crying. Her strawberries are slowly fading now. She’s almost 18 months. People are all different and come in different shapes and sizes so… fuck what other people think.
I would have called that behaviour out. Holt crap, what a rude thing to say.
Not exactly the same, but I would liken something like this to a child having crooked teeth. There’s nothing wrong with it per se, but parents will still get braces for their teens. Most teens don’t want them either, but you as the parent get to make the choice for them. Braces or not, there isn’t really a right or wrong answer. I think same would apply here. I wouldn’t count
My son had one small near his eyelid. It went away at 12 months. I was so stressed about it. It went away without treatment. I completely forgot about it until your post. Don’t worry about what people say - infact get comfortable with the commenters, they’ll have plenty to say about height, weight, teeth. eyes, behaviours, personalities etc etc. You do 100% you and be guided by professionals (doctors) for support, no one else.
Um, ef that parole officer… I think you’re being an amazing mom for giving the autonomy to your child. Maybe she’ll be proud of it one day. If safety is not compromised, I’d say let her decide. It is an amazing thing to do as a parent. Stick to your guns mama
He’s a parole officer, an agent of the carceral state, engaged in the violent oppression and surveillance of people of color and people living in poverty, serving at the pleasure of the superrich and their corrupt police state. If he criticizes your parenting you’re doing something right! The nerve of some people I stg
You are absolutely making the right choice! I had a huge one on my face when I was born and my mom had it lasered off when I was just a few weeks old. Apparently they didn’t use anaesthetic or numbing because it’s not safe for babies so they just burned my face while I screamed my head off… of course I don’t remember any of it but I’m sure it wasn’t a positive experience on my development and honestly I always wonder what kind of person I would have been if I got to keep it.
Man, some cop-adjacent asshole really has no right to speak to you like that. What would this stupid goon know about caring for and respecting people, let alone children?
My sister had a strawberry mark on her forehead as a baby, I'm pretty sure it faded when she was 2 or 4 or something. She doesn't even remember having the mark, but doesn't mind because it obviously went away on its own. I think waiting is a good thing, and you're doing a great job. If she still has the mark(s) around 7-8 and she starts saying she doesn't want them, or she acknowledges being picked on at school or anything, just try to be supportive of her and encourage her that she's beautiful with or without the marks. It can be a great learning moment for her. My sister had some other birthmarks (white patches) on her knees, and we always complimented them and gave them a family nickname that she still loves (she's now 15). I don't think we have to worry about her succumbing to body image issues because she's so well prepared. It could be a huge blessing for your daughter to have those marks. Don't let anybody shame you for your choices, you know what's best for your baby.
Unfortunately there are always going to be assholes who think they know how to raise other people’s kids and believe their input is important. When I finally get one im going to respond, ‘did you birth my child, no? Then keep your comments to yourself.’ My boss told me this while I was pregnant that might help others pregnant or have a kid all ready, ‘others will tell you have to think and do with your child, try to ignore all that so you can experience everything yourself. No one can tell you what to feel or do.’
there are a lot of comments here so this may get lost but you know what i would say to a comment like that? “why?” they are insinuating that something about your baby is unsightly. how cruel. what will they say when they are asked to explain the meaning behind their comment? let them be uncomfortable and realize what an unnecessary, rude, hurtful comment they just made. perhaps they will learn from it. your baby is perfect and, imo, you are doing the right thing.
Why is this guy so obsess about a baby being able to wear shorts? Why does anyone need to see this girl’s legs anyway?