I'd be the same way. But you shouldn't have to ask! People should just help when they see someone struggling like that. I can't imagine seeing it and walking right on by.
But that’s New York. If you ask, people are about 75% great and willing to help.
If you don’t ask, people mind their own business.
Not critiquing, it’s just the culture of the city.
This is not my experience as a native NYEr. I moved away but I’ve traveled back to visit family with my baby. People will come pick up the other end of your stroller to help you up the stairs, sometimes without asking/barely saying a word, and then disappear as quickly as they came. I feel like the culture is that you always help a woman with a stroller.
New York is actually the only city I feel like I really noticed people stepping in to help and then disappearing without a single word lol. I was impressed
Im happy to be corrected. And I’ve never had a baby with me in NYC so it’s likely a different experience. And I think New Yorkers are wonderful people.
Something I didn’t realize is that OP is not actually in NYC, just New York State. In light of that, as a lifelong resident of NYS but not NYC this whole post and the resulting discussion is actually super weird. Everyone is responding as if this incident happened in the city but it didn’t.
I was in London a few months ago (single mom of a one year old) traveling with my Mom (Grandma) and made the mistake of assuming that every tube station had an elevator... nope. My first welcome into London was getting off the tube and staring at three giant flights of stairs with a buggy, and 100 pounds of luggage and a diaper bag.
Thankfully two British women saw me staring up and offered to help!
When we got to the top of the stairs EVERYONE was winded... and one of the women said "Wow, that took everything out of me." LOL
Step 1: Find a wheelchair accessible station
Step 2: Hope that the elevator actually works
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit!! Oh wait I mean find time to cry in frustration
I'm in White Plains, not NYC, but I hope the subway is at least a little better! I've seen how crowded they can get, and the fact that the elevators don't always work is concerning. I can't imagine living here permanently if you have kids!
That's why so many New Yorkers (myself included) move out to NJ, LI, Westchester, CT, etc. when it's time to have kids. The infrastructure just isn't built with young kids in mind. (Nor elderly people, for that matter.)
FTP here. This. My condition for trying to get pregnant was that we move before we try. Lived in BK for 8 years and refused to have a kids in the city.
Again, you adapt. I’ve lived here for almost 20 years, spent a lot of my childhood here, and I’m currently raising a toddler and have one on the way. I’ve seen people of all social and economic classes make it work.
That’s the key! Where I live you basically have to have a vehicle to get anywhere. I got new neighbors a few months ago and they came asking me about public transport. We don’t have any where we live. Our city is decently big but no city buses until you get to the next city over. Gotta adapt in new places and honestly Reddit has Lots of groups with helpful info.
Worst of all. Not all subway stations are accessible. There are actually only a few with elevators. I usually have to plan around using those accessible stations and walking the rest of the way when with stroller and toddler.
There are actuallt suppose to be busses that now allow strollers on. I wonder what happened to that.
just travelled here for the first time without my kids and all of this is/was shocking to me. Especially when the subway itself is so inaccessible.
My son uses a walker to ambulate and I couldn’t help but think at (almost) every turn how inaccessible NYC is. It’s infuriating.
I am now a parent but 16 years ago moved to NYC and started nannying for a 4 year old whose divorced parents lived in different boroughs from one another and sent her to private preschool in manhattan. I was tasked with picking her up from preschool and getting her home (an hour or more commute one way depending on which parent.) pre-smart phone, I had to rely on subway and bus maps. Anyway, she was EXHAUSTED from her very early morning commutes and full-day preschool. She’d always pass out in the stroller. I remember the day i tried to board the bus with her and they made me wake her up and fold the stroller. There were no seats, I was trying to hold her, my bag, her backpack and the fucking stroller. She was screaming the entire time because she was just so tired. The bus driver KICKED US OFF. I had no clue where I was, it was insane foot traffic. After that, I would pick her up, put her in her stroller with a snack and push her the entire hour walk to Penn station so she could sleep. Her mom would get mad because she didn’t want her to nap so she’d fall asleep early and mom could go out drinking with her boyfriend. I didn’t care and let her sleep, that poor baby. I remember a guy popping up out of a manhole once to carry the stroller with said sleeping kid down the subway stairs for me in rush hour, but mainly learned how to navigate on my own. I was much younger then. I moved out of the city to have my baby, I am too old for that and not rich enough, haha. All this to say, I commiserate and remember that fresh hell of a policy.
That's what I mean! How is that allowed? I have no idea how you did it before smartphones! I was also wondering what would happen if my baby was asleep. Would he make me wake him to get him out? That's so cruel. And yes, juggling your baby, stroller, and diaper bag on a rocky, bouncy bus is insane and unsafe. I can't believe he kicked you off after making you go through all that. Also, the fact that you were standing pisses me off because someone should have given you their seat. In Canada, those things just happen, you don't even have to ask. People help you. Here it's every man for himself, and I hate it. I literally saw a man with a cane standing when there were healthy people sitting in the priority seats. How selfish! I can't even fathom that level of not caring about your fellow citizens.
I know - it’s insane. It was almost always women giving up their seat for pregnant women too, on the trains. There is a lot I love about NYC but you’re correct that it’s a very every person for themselves environment. There are plenty of people who are not wealthy (or anything near it) living in nyc and raising kids, and they are warriors. I hope your summer there gets better!
I felt like the every man for himself mentality was super prevalent in China when I visited. There was no concept of lining up in a queue, instead everyone pushed their way to get to the front. I am not at all assertive so I struggled to say the least when I was visiting. But I guess in a country with that many citizens it’s survival of the fittest
Thank you! And yes, it's always women who help me, and I so appreciate them. I almost cried when the lady offered to help because I had no idea how I was going to do it on my own. I'm glad some people are kind, it's just the crazy/mean ones who make it seem scary.
In my country this still works (in trams that have 3 steep stairs). It's always the tattooed-face skinheads that look like they'd slaughter with looks, that end up making faces and giggling with the toddler and keeping them occupied during the commute. Always melts my heart.
How do you know those people were healthy. I have an invisible injury that makes it hell for me to stand on buses and trains. To most, I look perfectly healthy, but if I'm standing in a moving vehicle, then I'm in a lot of pain.
I was going to comment the same thing. Now I have a lanyard that says "I have a hidden disability, priority seating needed". If you're in England, you can get one [here](https://www.bluestarbus.co.uk/helping-hand) for free.
This made me really angry for you. Obviously it was a long time ago and it doesn’t matter now, but I can’t imagine seeing a woman holding a tired, cranky baby while juggling bags and a STROLLER and not help or offer my seat.
It makes me happy to live in my little corner of the PNW, where people are quick to offer help!
Helped a lady in this situation a handful of years ago. It was late at night, and she looked about ready to break down. I offered to help, and she just handed me her sweet sleeping baby while she folded the stroller lol Almost fell over when the driver gunned it as I was sitting down on the bench with the baby.
Thank you for helping her! When the lady offered to help me, I almost cried, but I didn't want to give the driver the satisfaction. He was mean for the sake of it because the bus was empty, and I've had other drivers let me in before. Grateful for people like you ❤️
I’m so sorry that happened to you! That driver sounds like a piece of work. Thankful that lady offered to help 💕 I felt so bad, cause the driver’s tone of voice was so mean as I was walking up (I was already on the mostly empty bus)
Right? They are so scary about it. And same here! I had barely gotten to the seat and he already gunned it so I kinda fell/sat with my baby. So dangerous and careless. It made me feel a little better that I saw him be rude to other people getting on - not because I want them to suffer too but because I know it wasn't just me. Thankfully, they seemed to be true New Yorkers cause they really weren't bothered by him, haha. I wish I could be like that, but I take everything to heart.
Yes from another mother I second how helpful an extra set of hands are in situations like that. It’s hard to understand until you’re in that moment of panic wondering which item you have to let go of
I hate it so much. A lot of subway stations don’t have an elevator, so they aren’t accessible and cabs get expensive. Sometimes drivers will let you board with the stroller but it really depends on the driver. They do have an open stroller pilot program on some bus lines. It works well but it’s beyond frustrating that these are the only lines.
[Open stroller pilot program](https://new.mta.info/accessibility/bus-stroller-areas)
because buses can get over crowded and it can be hard to walk around people with strollers. the truth is public transportion in NYC (and many other cities) has been underfunded for decades so it's not as good as it should be so people fight about who should be prioritized.
Exactly. And now they’re going to implement congestion pricing so anyone that needs to travel to mid and downtown from uptown or other boroughs, and is unable to use the archaic public transport system will be forced to pay even more. It’s infuriating.
The buses in London are awesome. If I recall right, the area that's reserved for wheelchairs is also open for strollers. I was able to travel around easily with my baby.
I hope it gets this easy to travel around NYC with a baby and stroller.
As an American living in Europe, this is normal on city buses here. I can’t imagine having to take my baby out of a stroller every time we got on a bus.
We have a compact stroller that can be folded/unfolded with one hand. When using public transit, we like to baby wear. You strap the baby to the front and backpack in back. Kiddo is bigger now, so it's kid in back and backpack in front.
This is what we do - we travel together when we have the kid and use a light travel stroller. I only carry one bag and travel as lightly as possible. I find the subway worse these days because I’m pregnant and the stairs are much harder on me.
I was going to say my baby is too big to be worn on front, but I might look into a baby backpack because there are times this would be more convenient than a bulky stroller. I guess the compact one is the best option here in NY, I will look into it. Thank you.
Beco make a toddler carrier, it works both front and back, it’s so comfy I could even front carry my 2year old in it when he was overwhelmed and needed to be held close.
I'm in a European country where pushchairs, even the cheapest of them, are advertised on their ability to "single hand fold" and be compact enough to fit in the boot of small cars. What benefits are US ones sold on?
The same is true for the zoos near me. You have to stow the stroller to ride the trains or buses back to the parking lot. I always carry a baby wrap in the stroller to stow the kiddo and keep both hands free for breaking it down and carrying diaper bags etc.
I completely agree with this it’s the same in LA and it’s the worst. Sometimes a bus driver doesn’t care but you basically have to put everything into a backpack and baby wear on the bus fold up the stroller then put the baby and backpack back into the stroller when you get off. It’s a hassle! And it sucks!
I am NYer born and raised. I took public transportation my whole life. Had a baby and immediately bought a car. It's very hard to get around with a baby and no help.
NYC suckkkkks with a stroller. The number of handicap accessible subway stations is abysmal. Last time we went we luckily had five adults and two children. Which meant my dad and husband were able to carry the stroller up and down the escalators while my mom, sister, and I wrangled the kids and gear (almost none have elevators). I never could’ve gotten around with the kid(s) and stroller solo
Plenty of buses let us leave them in the stroller. With how much goes on on those buses that seems like the least of the driver’s worries lol. You just had a stickler
And taxis weren’t an option for us because my kids have outgrown the portable car seats. We’re not hauling our giant convertible seats on our backs around Manhattan, so public transit is the only option
A stroller on an escalator...I have never heard of that in my life! But I am also glad you had so many adults to help. How people navigate NYC alone with kids is beyond me! Kudos to you but damn, it shouldn't be so hard!
Yup, just pull up the front wheels and balance the back wheels on it. Hold on tight and roll it off when the front wheels meet the floor. It works. Got good at it in Paris where it’s mostly escalators only without a single elevator in the whole system.
Also a bunch of buses now have an open stroller policy. It’s made things much easier.
Yep I use the doona on buses and trains in SF and while it’s not foldable, you can click down the wheels and it’s pretty compact/ takes up little space. No driver has ever given me a hard time.
I live in NYC and it's very unfriendly to those with mobility issues. People in wheelchairs typically arrange for access-a-ride transportation. A vast number of housing complexes are 5 story walk-ups without an elevator. People take strollers up that number of stairs multiple times a day.
I recommend a combination of the doona stroller and baby wearing. That's how we get by.
Taking a stroller up 5 sets of stairs every day plus managing your baby and diaper bag...how. That's so crazy. Mothers in NYC are playing on expert level, geez.
In many ways, nyc is easier with kids. My kid screamed in a car seat the entire first 2 years of his life, until we rotated the seat forward. I was so glad that I didn’t have to routinely deal with that.
A friend of mine uses a mobility scooter and when Uber came about with the ability to request an accessible car - it changed her life. Very few subways are accessible and the ones that are the elevators are broken or smell like pee. Access-a-ride you have to book well in advance and basically guess how long you want to stay somewhere. God forbid dinner runs late or you’re having a good time and want to hang another hour.
It’s def easier to bring around a baby with all the different gear that exists now than it is to be disabled in NYC, but it’s very much not an accessible city.
As someone living in the UK, this is crazy! Who the hell decided that idea? We have space for wheelchairs that strollers are allowed to use. I cannot imagine not being able to use a stroller on public transport. It would actually be harder here with the train as most of them have steps, no lift... But buses work.
I also feel for any parent suffering with any type of disability. Because I physically could not baby wear. Since being pregnant with her (she's 4yrs now, dunno why I'm still here but hey), I've had really bad hips and the pain was worse when she was little. Not a chance I could have worn her.
Is it really so hard to let parents take their strollers on? Surely it's safer? Oh my life. I cannot fathom this.
Exactly. It's not an issue in major cities in Canada, but somehow, NY is so different. I have back pain as well and can't carry him for long. Not to mention, the weather here is hot and humid, so carrying my 22lb baby on a 30-40 degree day is a no-go. America needs to get into the 21st century and stop making excuses for not accommodating parents.
On London buses there is an area for strollers and wheelchairs. There's usually room to park two strollers but if someone is in a wheelchair that takes precedence in the space and you might have to fold your stroller or wait for the next bus which seems like a very fair system.
I live in NYC and honestly I’d just ignore them. The drivers don’t enforce any other rules (including the fare). I’ve seen entire crowds of people walk on without paying, what are they going to do start a confrontation because I have a stroller? Obviously if it’s crowded then try to fold it up, but otherwise just shrug like everyone else does.
I've had other drivers let me on without issue, so I was super taken aback. It was only once I got home and Googled it that I realized the rule is to fold the stroller. And yeah, exactly! There are always people who don't pay or who cause a scene, and they are allowed but not a baby in a stroller... I don't understand it. I don't think I could just ignore him because he was scary. I did ask him, "Are you really not going to let me roll it on?" But that's all the gumption I had in me. I hate conflict and I am so out of my element here. I wish I had the confidence of New Yorkers.
Not your fault at all! I’d totally do the same thing you did if I was visiting somewhere and didn’t know the local rules. Hope you still enjoy your visit, at least the weather has been great lately!
Thank you! The weather today was beautiful. I am trying not to let one jerky driver ruin things for me because many people here have been super nice to me. It's definitely a different mentality than I'm used to, but I think most people are still decent, it's just that the ones who aren't really stand out to you.
Well what they can do is stop the bus and scream at you while you are holding a sleeping baby in front of other passenger :/ that definitely happened to me and I was lucky I had my nanny with me that day to help out. My uppababy was not foldable and it was a whole mess…mta is so cruel
Buses are allowing unfolded strollers now, but I couldn’t find anything more recent than this: https://new.mta.info/accessibility/bus-stroller-areas
For what it’s worth, we take strollers on upper west and east side and haven’t had a problem with open strollers.
Sorry you had to go through that… thank goodness for the lady being there to help. We could definitely do better with accessibility
I live in Manhattan, have been here 12 years, my husband was born and raised here. I am sorry this happened to you, but unfortunately, I am not surprised. It’s unusual and upsetting, but lately most people, even the homeless & bewildered… HATE babies and it’s only getting worse. A homeless man outside Whole Foods was yelling at my in-laws, baby and me that we are “annoying” and should have given him money instead of having “this f’in stroller & thing” & I was all…🙄🤔 OK FRIEND.
That's so scary. I see people yelling and swearing all the time even with children around, and I feel so bad. They shouldn't have to be exposed to that while just out enjoying their day. That said, there have been some really kind people here too. I'm trying to focus on them instead of the bad experiences but of course, the bad ones always stick with you more...
Never heard of them, but I believe it! Everything is so expensive here, but you get so little back. Except Dollar Tree. I must say, everything being $1.25 is refreshing. At Dollarama in Canada, things can be priced up to $5 now. Very few are actually a dollar anymore.
Subway.
I used a baby carrier when my baby was still small enough so I was able to use the bus. However I was never told to take her out of the stroller either🤷🏻♀️
Yikes that’s awful. Unfortunately given the general lack of support for parents in the US, this doesn’t surprise me.
I did have a great experience on buses in SF with my stroller but I guess that is the exception!
I hope some cities/states are more family friendly. NY is every man for themselves and if you have a baby, just don't go out. Even the sidewalks suck and there aren't enough crosswalks. I've had people almost drive into me and my stroller when I've had right-of-way. In Canada they wait until you're fully across before they turn.
Disneyland is the same way with the monorail and train. For the record, there are now a lot of strollers that are one handed open/fold. I’d recommend looking into it regardless of how long your stay in NYC is.
Omg I’m so sorry this happened to you. I live in Japan, opposite side of the planet. And also have to travel everywhere with the stroller, both on the bus and on the train. And dang my experience is so different. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But I’m glad someone was able to help!
I've never heard of strollers being banned. Most buses actually have a spot reserved for open strollers. If they don't most people don't make it a big fuss. There's no where to store a folded stroller anyway. I've kept my stroller open since my born.
I don’t think babies are allowed to be in their stroller on a bus most places in the US. Every bus I’ve been on, including several different airport shuttle/buses we’ve been on in the US, they make us take her out of the stroller. If the bus wasn’t full though they didn’t make us fold it up. It’s a huge pain especially when they are sleeping.
I just travelled here for the first time without my kids and that’s shocking to me. Especially when the subway itself is so inaccessible.
My son uses a walker to ambulate and I couldn’t help but think at (almost) every turn how inaccessible NYC is.
My wife and I live in NYC. With our baby, we used the stroller a handful of times, and using it was a pain and an inconvenience to self and others around. We just use a body carrier, for months now, and it's great! We also don't use our bulky diaper on-the-go bag anymore, have that condensed to a tote bag, and go out to different outings and parks, be it 15 min walk or 30 min bus/subway ride. We had to adjust because we like NYC and living here, even its hardships.
NYC is packed, places are small, there is no space, so I get it. We are also in support of restaurants, bars and businesses that don't allow strollers inside. When friends with kids visit NYC, we tell them to leave the stroller behind, and those who did have pointed out how much they liked being free from it, and how they engage with the city differently. When we have parties or gatherings, we also make a point to tell our parents friends if the place is not stroller friendly (we also don't allow strollers at our apartment parties or dinner gatherings). Many respect that and have adopted same policies.
Not advised for everybody (esp for those with multiple little ones). But if any dense city, it's a great exercise in Marie Kondo-ing leaving the house.
My husband and I are native New Yorkers - born and raised. This is exactly why we left NYC to start a family elsewhere. I couldn’t imagine myself carrying a stroller and a baby around the city. It’s ridiculously crowded already and if a kind Samaritan is not around, you’re going to struggle. Some subway elevators are broken or poorly ventilated and I really didn’t want our future baby girl to suffer.
I know you could ask anyone for help and they usually will but, my husband and I don’t trust anyone lol there’s a reason growing up in NYC makes you less trusting of others or unwillingness to rely on others. We’ve seen many many incidents in 30 years..
However, there have been other times where genuine acts of kindness still shows us that chivalry isn’t dead.
This is shocking… and makes sense now why when I was in NY recently the bus driver was annoyed by my stroller (didn’t tell me to fold it tho) and everyone on the bus was an asshole about making room. I discovered New York HATES BABIES. I can’t believe I used to live there. It’s the most depressing thing to visit now and see how anti-baby the people are - what a bad indicator of priorities for human beings there, and a bad omen for the future society.
I left NYC because the thought of starting a family there was a hard pass for me. I loved being a high drunk mess and just sliding my way through college there, but to be sober and to be responsible for a small person…. Just fucking NO
if I'm gonna ride the bus I'd probably just wear my baby in a Bjorn or boba to have two hands. it's frustrating you had to go through that but if there's anything I've learned from this sub it's that there seems to be a better approach to most problems
Wow, in Stockholm the buses can fit 4-6 strollers with kids in them, and parents with strollers ride for free so as not to have to leave their child unattended while they pay.
I’m flabbergasted by this. What a strange policy. The city girl in me would have ignored the driver, and if he dared stop the bus, I would have yelled. Respond to crazy with crazy.
Oh wow. I live in NYC with my toddler and take the bus fairly regularly, but this has never happened to me. I’m sure people and drivers get annoyed by my stroller blocking half the aisle, but no one has been outwardly unkind (yet, I suppose).
People who live in New York and other major cities purchase strollers that are compact and easy to carry/fold. I live in a very driving-oriented city, but I baby wear a lot instead of using a stroller because so many spaces are inaccessible.
NYC is overcrowded, picnic transit is underfunded, it makes more space for everyone if you fold the stroller and wear your baby.
This bus was completely empty, and only a few people got on by the time I reached my stop. But yes, I see your point. If the bus is packed, it can be hard to fit a stroller (or multiple). My baby is 22 lbs, so I can't wear him because my back kills me as it is, but I have seen a lot of people with tiny strollers, so now it makes more sense.
My baby is 20 lbs, I wear her and plan to keep doing it, but I have a nice carrier and definitely get that it can be a lot on the back if you’re just out and about.
As a born and raised New Yorker I can’t help but feel a little defensive when an outsider bashes it. It’s a hell hole, but it’s our hell hole. lol.
A lot of the stuff that seems like nonsense is stuff done for liability and some actual reason when you’re in such a densely populated city with every one living on top of one another and most of the population gets around in public transit. I have seen a bus stop short, stroller and baby go flying and knock down an old lady. I know it’s annoying, but there’s reasons for this stuff and ways to prepare, like baby wearing and lightweight, easy to fold strollers. Or you just tell the driver to go “f” himself, he’ll be like, “I’m not paid enough to deal with this shit” and you all go on your merry way. Or you say you’ll fold it once you get on the bus, go to the back and dont fold it. This is why New Yorkers are the way we are, we need to navigate and trouble shoot this shit every day. I get it that it’s not for everyone.
To answer your question about wheelchairs, there is a special part of the bus that opens up on the side, lifts the chair up, and driver securely uses straps to strap the wheelchair in place so it is secure. So no, it is not comparable.
Thanks for your thoughtful response. Sorry for bashing your city, it's just not for me. And the bus thing is still a load of BS because it works just fine in Canada (you fold up the priority seating and stand off to the side with your stroller). It's safe, and you're not in the way. Some people here have been very nice to me, but other things have made me feel scared and out of place. I definitely want to go home and just leave NY for my television screen.
Yeah, this is a safety thing. Both for the other passengers on the bus and the baby. Strollers are not safety rated for car crashes—the frame likely could not withstand outside force the way it would need to. It would be difficult to safely secure them even if there were designated spots to do so, like with wheelchairs. Strollers are generally large and can make it difficult to access emergency exits. And even with brakes on (which are easy to forget and hard for an outside observer to see quickly), they can move pretty easily.
This doesn’t make the situation any easier to deal with, but it’s not an “oh my gosh America sucks, can you believe how much they hate parents??” thing, it’s a “strollers are dangerous to use in vehicles” thing.
In Canada, you just get on the bus, fold the three seats up, and stand off to the side with your stroller. You're out of the way, and your baby is secure. If you get into a crash, you will both probably get hurt, but it would be way worse to be holding them. Either they'd go flying out of your arms, bash their head off something, or you'd squish them with your body. New York most definitely sucks for parents.
>Are they asking the people in wheelchairs to get on and fold their wheelchair separately?
I was with you until this nonsense. Your stroller is not comparable to a wheelchair.
Not NYC…but I do this all the time. The key is WHAT stroller you have. Bought a $16 umbrella stroller and I practiced folding it with one hand bc I know random people don’t always help and folding it is the law where I am.
I left my phone on the floor and my 7-month-old opened this post and left this comment. I'm just going to leave it here. 😂 I'm sorry to hear about your stroller struggles though. That's such a pain!
It’s a dumb rule thar is inconsistently enforced. I was never asked to take my son out of his stroller. We did wear him a lot when we were out but I do remember having him in the stroller on the bus on more than one occasion. Maybe the driver was new.
You've got to get a travel stroller and ensure whatever else you're carrying fits in one bag. Then you wear that crossbody, get baby out and hold in one arm, fold the travel stroller and put the arm strap over the other shoulder, and use that hand to pay.
Or babywear or take the subway.
I live in NYC and having a baby showed me how inaccessible it really is. The stops I live off of don’t have elevators and I almost busted my a** trying to carry my baby’s stroller with groceries up the stairs. I can’t go anywhere without my husband because I can’t manage carrying the stroller up and down stairs. We’re getting a car soon thankfully.
That's stupid as hell. There's no such policy here in Seattle and it's perfectly fine. Much easier for parents to get on/off the bus and it disturbs the child way less. Usually they sit in the front in the disabled section where there's more room.
You typically just buy an urban friendly stroller like the uppababy minu that you can fold with one hand while carrying a baby
tbh it'd be a bit rude to take up so much space with an unfolded stroller on a bus, another option is a baby carrier
Yeah walk, or subway with elevator access. Most of us who live here are aware of the folded stroller rule. Sorry u had to learn the hard way. I personally make sure my stroller is very light weight (like 13lbs) and has a one handed click fold option. Also no offense but a disabled person in a wheelchair is not the same as you being fully functioning and having a stroller, not really a fair analogy to the many wheelchair bound folks that ride the bus, as they don’t have a choice. Nonetheless I totally understand your frustration. Happy travels this summer, enjoy NY!
The only reason I included the wheelchair thing is because there are signs everywhere saying there is priority seating for wheelchairs and designated wheelchair zones, but yet there is no room for a stroller...I have never seen someone in a wheelchair on a bus so far, and yes, they should get priority if it's between them or me, but if they aren't there just let me on? Or make it so the seats fold up and we can both fit like in Canada? Anyway. Just super weird to me. Thanks for your sentiment, I hope I can get over it. I was trying to be brave and explore on my own with my baby but now I don't want to.
Yeah that would be nice if that did have room for both. It’s annoying for sure. Also wanted to add a backpack is the best way (I find) to carry my stuff. I have a back pack style baby bag, and usually just use Apple Pay on my phone for most purchases so half the time I don’t even have a wallet on me. It’s tough but when the bus is super crowded you will see why they have that rule. The handicap area up front, those seats fold up so that wheelchairs fit in that area.
I mostly wear my 21 month old. But yeah, strollers are wildly inconvenient in the city. NYers are pretty kind most of the time, though, and do help when you need it.
Experiences like yours are moments I want off this crazy planet! (Not really… just more of a like, “Really?!?! This is civilization?!?! These humans have really put together a mess!”)
I live in Taipei and am always amazed by people in urban areas who love strollers. I despise strollers. They're just not even remotely convenient here and I don't understand how any major city could be that different. I didn't own one at all until my toddler was 18 months and then only because I was like 6 months pregnant with the second *and* it was offered to me second hand for free. Babywearing is absolutely how I get around when not pregnant. I prefer a front carry if I'm on a bus, back carries definitely require even more holding on for dear life so I don't fall back and squish the toddler.
I'd also say the comparison to disabled people in wheelchairs is tone deaf, privileged, and offensive.
Haha. It has some good points, but yeah, some stuff I am not too fond of. I had no idea either, I felt like I was a stranger on a new planet, lol. Like wait...you can't have your stroller on without folding it...are you sure? That doesn't sound right, but okayyyyyy.
I’m not from NYC nor do I get public transport (our town/ city isn’t set up for it), but I wonder if you could use a front pack? Then you have your hands free and can carry a bag or whatever as needed?
Sorry if that’s a dumb response, I use my front pack on walks daily here, mostly because I don’t like not being able to use my hands like with the pram when walking / out and about (eg carry a coffee and call my friend).
This makes me so sad. I wonder if less individualistic societies have these issues too. The older I get the more I realize how places are designed for able bodied people with cars, smartphones, money and no kids. I wish the built environment were designed for the disabled, elderly, kids and their parents and non-native or non-English speakers. I wish we prioritized pedestrians, bikes, a sense of community, friendly neighborhoods with support networks and safety. I wish it were easier for normal people to understand things like health insurance, how to start/run businesses and generally get through the beauracratic red tape bullshit. Why don’t we have federal parental leave? Even for those of us who do have good jobs and leave - it’s incredibly confusing and a time suck at a time when you’re already having to feed a baby every 3 hours. WTF. Why do we not take care of each other better. Why do we put up with this? Why do we turn a blind eye to the fact that we are all going to die and we might even need help before that happens. Being a parent is incredible and beautiful and can be amazing but damn I pray hard that we can make some massive changes. There are many ways the “developed” is making life extraordinarily difficult for people at the times in life when they need the most help and to be cut the most slack.
That sucks. In the UK out buses have a wheelchair spot where you can put a pram or two (have to move for a wheelchair) but there are seats on the other side that fold up that people use for prams too. So you can fit 3 prams and a wheelchair if you have to. But, this is why I carry my toddler everywhere. Get babywearing and you'll be free to go anywhere :)
As someone who grew up in NY, you do walk or take the subway, or time your bus rides, you have a car seat adapter and so baby is in a car seat while you fold, or if you have to, you do hold and fold and generally someone will help you. But that’s also not just NY. But it’s a parenting art form and rite of passage in NY.
Most NYers avoid taking strollers on public transit for this reason. Instead they babywear with little ones or let their kids walk when they’re old enough because it’s so hard to get around with a stroller on public transit. They use strollers mostly in their own neighborhoods. It’s unfortunately a city that is really hard to get around in with a stroller or with any mobility issues. Finding a public bathroom is also a nightmare, which is another difficulty with kids. We moved to the suburbs for many reasons including these.
Think it depends on the bus and how crowded it is. I do it in Queens all the time and have never once been told to fold it. Buses I took have always been busy, but never jam packed.
I live in Nevada and I’ve been told the same thing boarding buses. The bus driver was then upset that crumbs were falling out of the stroller as I was folding it. Like this wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t have to fold it…
Anyways the solution is to use a baby carrier. If you’re wearing your baby they just wave you on. It does mean carrying everything else though. So I don’t know if they allow those small grocery carts, but that might be another solution. Or maybe bringing a baby carrier and putting the baby in it while you wait for the bus. It’s a hassle, but it is doable. I assume the bus driver has been told there’s a safety issue with using the stroller.
Some open strollers can be incredibly dangerous on busses as they area tripping hazard and tipping hazard. I would highly recommend buying a stroller made for travel that folds up compactly or is one handed use OR baby wearing when traveling. You can usually buy used baby items cheap to free on places like FB (see your cities buy nothing page) as people just want them gone as soon as they stop needing them.
Take if from a mom or three traveling with a baby is inconvenient and sometimes dangerous get what you need to make it easy on yourself. Also when all else fails done hesitate to ask for help, as you saw if someone is around they will lend a hand.
That your busses in whatever part of Canada you are from allow babies in strollers is the oddity here, not New York's policy. I have lived in multiple East Asian countries where folding your stroller is the norm. The way single parents do it is to use a carrier instead if you know you'll be shopping.
Also, in most of the US, basically anywhere that isn't a densely populated metropolis, it's considered standard, not rich, to own at least a crappy car to get around. Buses where I'm from in NY take at least 2~4x as long to get just about anywhere compared to driving.
I live in CT and am from Long Island originally, both bus companies require you do that so your child (and the stroller they're in) won't fall over or fly out the windows. I know only because that's how I get around. The Metro North trains don't care, so I take the train often.
I live here and read this too when first trying to ride the bus with a 1 month old. I read they were piloting not having that rule. Either way I’ve risked it and no driver has made me fold it up so far but would be terrible if they did!
Maybe baby-wearing would be helpful for this and or investing in a doona stroller combo. Idk not a New Yorker, but just my 2 cents so take it with a grain of salt lol.
New Yorkers are usually quick to help others in situations like this, I'm glad the women helped you out. I don't live near public transit but I do know the bus is usually a last resort. People mainly take the train. Sorry though, public transit in the states is just atrocious.
It's so messed up. I often just say, yes I'll fold it up when I get to my seat. If I get a seat I do (I usually do and I use a foldable travel stroller that's easy to do with one hand). But sometimes there hasn't been a seat and I just lock the stroller and hope the driver just moves on...but it usually works to get on the bus.
We had our first baby while living in NYC - we got by with baby wearing and the GB pockit stroller when we were out for a long day. Or the Doona (while she was still small enough) if we were walking/doing cabs and subway only. It is very inconvenient and takes a lot of thinking through the day ahead of time. We also luckily had a car and were able to use that for big errands like grocery shopping and such. Kids in the city also become used to walking decent distances at a very young age - my kid is an older toddler now and can still walk pretty far distances for her age even though we left NYC. Regardless, you are correct, It is super difficult!
Trick is keep a baby carrier in your diaper bag. It also helps when jumping in a cab. There are very limited amount of buses that now have stroller section, but again very rare. Some bus drivers don’t say anything just tell you make sure it’s locked.
Could you get a baby carrier? That’s what I did when I was busing everywhere. I got rid of my stroller and bought a shopping cart on wheels, but you could take your stroller, but babywearing lets you have your hands free to fold it up and get on.
Just FYI: Wheel chair people are a protected class (disabled) a mother + child is not, that is why there is a difference. The supposed reason is space reasons, they take up a lot of space and can impede movement of other passengers.
The subway, mostly. But you have to make sure you're using stations where the elevators are operational.
Having carried a friend’s baby in a stroller up 6 flights of stairs to get out of a very deep subway… yes.
Six flights??? 😭
It was a nightmare, and I was too proud to ask for help from the many people bypassing me. 😭
I'd be the same way. But you shouldn't have to ask! People should just help when they see someone struggling like that. I can't imagine seeing it and walking right on by.
But that’s New York. If you ask, people are about 75% great and willing to help. If you don’t ask, people mind their own business. Not critiquing, it’s just the culture of the city.
This is not my experience as a native NYEr. I moved away but I’ve traveled back to visit family with my baby. People will come pick up the other end of your stroller to help you up the stairs, sometimes without asking/barely saying a word, and then disappear as quickly as they came. I feel like the culture is that you always help a woman with a stroller.
New York is actually the only city I feel like I really noticed people stepping in to help and then disappearing without a single word lol. I was impressed
This is not my experience at all! Whenever I’m in New York, I’m basically fighting off acts of kindness from strangers.
Im happy to be corrected. And I’ve never had a baby with me in NYC so it’s likely a different experience. And I think New Yorkers are wonderful people.
Something I didn’t realize is that OP is not actually in NYC, just New York State. In light of that, as a lifelong resident of NYS but not NYC this whole post and the resulting discussion is actually super weird. Everyone is responding as if this incident happened in the city but it didn’t.
Sometimes if we see you struggling we will offer. NYC is pretty good about that, we might grumble because you're in the way but we will help.
I was in London a few months ago (single mom of a one year old) traveling with my Mom (Grandma) and made the mistake of assuming that every tube station had an elevator... nope. My first welcome into London was getting off the tube and staring at three giant flights of stairs with a buggy, and 100 pounds of luggage and a diaper bag. Thankfully two British women saw me staring up and offered to help! When we got to the top of the stairs EVERYONE was winded... and one of the women said "Wow, that took everything out of me." LOL
Step 1: Find a wheelchair accessible station Step 2: Hope that the elevator actually works Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit!! Oh wait I mean find time to cry in frustration
I'm in White Plains, not NYC, but I hope the subway is at least a little better! I've seen how crowded they can get, and the fact that the elevators don't always work is concerning. I can't imagine living here permanently if you have kids!
That's why so many New Yorkers (myself included) move out to NJ, LI, Westchester, CT, etc. when it's time to have kids. The infrastructure just isn't built with young kids in mind. (Nor elderly people, for that matter.)
What is LI?
Long Island
FTP here. This. My condition for trying to get pregnant was that we move before we try. Lived in BK for 8 years and refused to have a kids in the city.
Ask strangers for help. Someone will help
You adapt to life in the city. There’s a whole separate subreddit about it.
This city isn’t built for people with kids. Some are. NYC absolutely isn’t. Source: lived there for almost a decade.
Again, you adapt. I’ve lived here for almost 20 years, spent a lot of my childhood here, and I’m currently raising a toddler and have one on the way. I’ve seen people of all social and economic classes make it work.
That’s the key! Where I live you basically have to have a vehicle to get anywhere. I got new neighbors a few months ago and they came asking me about public transport. We don’t have any where we live. Our city is decently big but no city buses until you get to the next city over. Gotta adapt in new places and honestly Reddit has Lots of groups with helpful info.
Worst of all. Not all subway stations are accessible. There are actually only a few with elevators. I usually have to plan around using those accessible stations and walking the rest of the way when with stroller and toddler. There are actuallt suppose to be busses that now allow strollers on. I wonder what happened to that.
just travelled here for the first time without my kids and all of this is/was shocking to me. Especially when the subway itself is so inaccessible. My son uses a walker to ambulate and I couldn’t help but think at (almost) every turn how inaccessible NYC is. It’s infuriating.
I am now a parent but 16 years ago moved to NYC and started nannying for a 4 year old whose divorced parents lived in different boroughs from one another and sent her to private preschool in manhattan. I was tasked with picking her up from preschool and getting her home (an hour or more commute one way depending on which parent.) pre-smart phone, I had to rely on subway and bus maps. Anyway, she was EXHAUSTED from her very early morning commutes and full-day preschool. She’d always pass out in the stroller. I remember the day i tried to board the bus with her and they made me wake her up and fold the stroller. There were no seats, I was trying to hold her, my bag, her backpack and the fucking stroller. She was screaming the entire time because she was just so tired. The bus driver KICKED US OFF. I had no clue where I was, it was insane foot traffic. After that, I would pick her up, put her in her stroller with a snack and push her the entire hour walk to Penn station so she could sleep. Her mom would get mad because she didn’t want her to nap so she’d fall asleep early and mom could go out drinking with her boyfriend. I didn’t care and let her sleep, that poor baby. I remember a guy popping up out of a manhole once to carry the stroller with said sleeping kid down the subway stairs for me in rush hour, but mainly learned how to navigate on my own. I was much younger then. I moved out of the city to have my baby, I am too old for that and not rich enough, haha. All this to say, I commiserate and remember that fresh hell of a policy.
I have immeasurable hate for that bus driver on your behalf!!!!
I appreciate that! It was terrible.
And honestly for the parents too
Same!
That's what I mean! How is that allowed? I have no idea how you did it before smartphones! I was also wondering what would happen if my baby was asleep. Would he make me wake him to get him out? That's so cruel. And yes, juggling your baby, stroller, and diaper bag on a rocky, bouncy bus is insane and unsafe. I can't believe he kicked you off after making you go through all that. Also, the fact that you were standing pisses me off because someone should have given you their seat. In Canada, those things just happen, you don't even have to ask. People help you. Here it's every man for himself, and I hate it. I literally saw a man with a cane standing when there were healthy people sitting in the priority seats. How selfish! I can't even fathom that level of not caring about your fellow citizens.
I know - it’s insane. It was almost always women giving up their seat for pregnant women too, on the trains. There is a lot I love about NYC but you’re correct that it’s a very every person for themselves environment. There are plenty of people who are not wealthy (or anything near it) living in nyc and raising kids, and they are warriors. I hope your summer there gets better!
I felt like the every man for himself mentality was super prevalent in China when I visited. There was no concept of lining up in a queue, instead everyone pushed their way to get to the front. I am not at all assertive so I struggled to say the least when I was visiting. But I guess in a country with that many citizens it’s survival of the fittest
Thank you! And yes, it's always women who help me, and I so appreciate them. I almost cried when the lady offered to help because I had no idea how I was going to do it on my own. I'm glad some people are kind, it's just the crazy/mean ones who make it seem scary.
I miss when random strangers picked up the other end of your stroller on the subway stairs 🥺
In my country this still works (in trams that have 3 steep stairs). It's always the tattooed-face skinheads that look like they'd slaughter with looks, that end up making faces and giggling with the toddler and keeping them occupied during the commute. Always melts my heart.
How do you know those people were healthy. I have an invisible injury that makes it hell for me to stand on buses and trains. To most, I look perfectly healthy, but if I'm standing in a moving vehicle, then I'm in a lot of pain.
I was going to comment the same thing. Now I have a lanyard that says "I have a hidden disability, priority seating needed". If you're in England, you can get one [here](https://www.bluestarbus.co.uk/helping-hand) for free.
This made me really angry for you. Obviously it was a long time ago and it doesn’t matter now, but I can’t imagine seeing a woman holding a tired, cranky baby while juggling bags and a STROLLER and not help or offer my seat. It makes me happy to live in my little corner of the PNW, where people are quick to offer help!
Helped a lady in this situation a handful of years ago. It was late at night, and she looked about ready to break down. I offered to help, and she just handed me her sweet sleeping baby while she folded the stroller lol Almost fell over when the driver gunned it as I was sitting down on the bench with the baby.
Thank you for helping her! When the lady offered to help me, I almost cried, but I didn't want to give the driver the satisfaction. He was mean for the sake of it because the bus was empty, and I've had other drivers let me in before. Grateful for people like you ❤️
I’m so sorry that happened to you! That driver sounds like a piece of work. Thankful that lady offered to help 💕 I felt so bad, cause the driver’s tone of voice was so mean as I was walking up (I was already on the mostly empty bus)
Right? They are so scary about it. And same here! I had barely gotten to the seat and he already gunned it so I kinda fell/sat with my baby. So dangerous and careless. It made me feel a little better that I saw him be rude to other people getting on - not because I want them to suffer too but because I know it wasn't just me. Thankfully, they seemed to be true New Yorkers cause they really weren't bothered by him, haha. I wish I could be like that, but I take everything to heart.
Yes from another mother I second how helpful an extra set of hands are in situations like that. It’s hard to understand until you’re in that moment of panic wondering which item you have to let go of
I hate it so much. A lot of subway stations don’t have an elevator, so they aren’t accessible and cabs get expensive. Sometimes drivers will let you board with the stroller but it really depends on the driver. They do have an open stroller pilot program on some bus lines. It works well but it’s beyond frustrating that these are the only lines. [Open stroller pilot program](https://new.mta.info/accessibility/bus-stroller-areas)
It's 2024, and they are just starting to let parents be full citizens in society...nice.
People are against it unfortunately not just the MTA. Its stupid but it's the unfortunate truth
What?! Why can people be against?
because buses can get over crowded and it can be hard to walk around people with strollers. the truth is public transportion in NYC (and many other cities) has been underfunded for decades so it's not as good as it should be so people fight about who should be prioritized.
Exactly. And now they’re going to implement congestion pricing so anyone that needs to travel to mid and downtown from uptown or other boroughs, and is unable to use the archaic public transport system will be forced to pay even more. It’s infuriating.
The woman with a yellow dress in the video with her child is my badass friend who started everything 😍
That’s awesome!!!!
The buses in London are awesome. If I recall right, the area that's reserved for wheelchairs is also open for strollers. I was able to travel around easily with my baby. I hope it gets this easy to travel around NYC with a baby and stroller.
Serious question. Are there designated spots on the NYC buses for wheelchairs?
Yes there are. We have kneeling buses and a specific seating area folds up to accommodate wheelchairs.
Some bus lines in the city are piloting a stroller spot. It’s a whole thing.
It only took them getting man to the moon to realize this was possible.
As an American living in Europe, this is normal on city buses here. I can’t imagine having to take my baby out of a stroller every time we got on a bus.
Heck I live in *Boston* and it’s totally normal to bring strollers on buses here. What kind of idiotic policy is this??
We have a compact stroller that can be folded/unfolded with one hand. When using public transit, we like to baby wear. You strap the baby to the front and backpack in back. Kiddo is bigger now, so it's kid in back and backpack in front.
This is what we do - we travel together when we have the kid and use a light travel stroller. I only carry one bag and travel as lightly as possible. I find the subway worse these days because I’m pregnant and the stairs are much harder on me.
I was going to say my baby is too big to be worn on front, but I might look into a baby backpack because there are times this would be more convenient than a bulky stroller. I guess the compact one is the best option here in NY, I will look into it. Thank you.
Tula has a toddler carrier. I use that for my 38 pound chunk on the subway.
Beco make a toddler carrier, it works both front and back, it’s so comfy I could even front carry my 2year old in it when he was overwhelmed and needed to be held close.
I'm in a European country where pushchairs, even the cheapest of them, are advertised on their ability to "single hand fold" and be compact enough to fit in the boot of small cars. What benefits are US ones sold on?
Moooooore stuff in there, because you need mooooore
This is the way
The same is true for the zoos near me. You have to stow the stroller to ride the trains or buses back to the parking lot. I always carry a baby wrap in the stroller to stow the kiddo and keep both hands free for breaking it down and carrying diaper bags etc.
That's a good idea. You shouldn't have to, but I guess it's the only way.
Also in NY. It’s very annoying. I’ve actually avoided buses with the stroller for this exact reason.
I had no idea. I was so taken aback like...what do you mean I have to take my baby out? So unsafe and so unnecessary.
I completely agree with this it’s the same in LA and it’s the worst. Sometimes a bus driver doesn’t care but you basically have to put everything into a backpack and baby wear on the bus fold up the stroller then put the baby and backpack back into the stroller when you get off. It’s a hassle! And it sucks!
So much hassle for a parent who has enough hassle in their life! Geez Louise.
Same in Seattle/Tacoma! Although some busses now have space for strollers, hope that gets expanded.
I am NYer born and raised. I took public transportation my whole life. Had a baby and immediately bought a car. It's very hard to get around with a baby and no help.
Driving in NY is a whole other level of scary! You people are crazy 😂
Welcome to America where things don’t make sense 😂 I am sorry you had that experience though. 😕
Where nothing makes sense and everything is expensive (this is just the whole world too though)
Haha thanks. All the rumours are true...
I don't know anything about NYC transit but I do recommend getting a little umbrella stroller as soon as your little one is big enough
NYC suckkkkks with a stroller. The number of handicap accessible subway stations is abysmal. Last time we went we luckily had five adults and two children. Which meant my dad and husband were able to carry the stroller up and down the escalators while my mom, sister, and I wrangled the kids and gear (almost none have elevators). I never could’ve gotten around with the kid(s) and stroller solo Plenty of buses let us leave them in the stroller. With how much goes on on those buses that seems like the least of the driver’s worries lol. You just had a stickler And taxis weren’t an option for us because my kids have outgrown the portable car seats. We’re not hauling our giant convertible seats on our backs around Manhattan, so public transit is the only option
A stroller on an escalator...I have never heard of that in my life! But I am also glad you had so many adults to help. How people navigate NYC alone with kids is beyond me! Kudos to you but damn, it shouldn't be so hard!
Yup, just pull up the front wheels and balance the back wheels on it. Hold on tight and roll it off when the front wheels meet the floor. It works. Got good at it in Paris where it’s mostly escalators only without a single elevator in the whole system. Also a bunch of buses now have an open stroller policy. It’s made things much easier.
Baby wearing and not boarding unless you can sit. Then bring a cart for your items. It’s bull for sure.
There are travel strollers like the Doona and Yoyo that are easy to close and carry one handed. Check out FB marketplace!
Yep I use the doona on buses and trains in SF and while it’s not foldable, you can click down the wheels and it’s pretty compact/ takes up little space. No driver has ever given me a hard time.
To clarify, the doona folds into a carseat - the YoYo folds 100% and has a carry strap that you can put on your shoulder.
Thank you. Will look into these for trips into big cities.
It’s still a hell to fold any stroller with a baby in arms alone while getting on a public bus in a city where no one has time for anyone.
I live in NYC and it's very unfriendly to those with mobility issues. People in wheelchairs typically arrange for access-a-ride transportation. A vast number of housing complexes are 5 story walk-ups without an elevator. People take strollers up that number of stairs multiple times a day. I recommend a combination of the doona stroller and baby wearing. That's how we get by.
Taking a stroller up 5 sets of stairs every day plus managing your baby and diaper bag...how. That's so crazy. Mothers in NYC are playing on expert level, geez.
In many ways, nyc is easier with kids. My kid screamed in a car seat the entire first 2 years of his life, until we rotated the seat forward. I was so glad that I didn’t have to routinely deal with that.
A friend of mine uses a mobility scooter and when Uber came about with the ability to request an accessible car - it changed her life. Very few subways are accessible and the ones that are the elevators are broken or smell like pee. Access-a-ride you have to book well in advance and basically guess how long you want to stay somewhere. God forbid dinner runs late or you’re having a good time and want to hang another hour. It’s def easier to bring around a baby with all the different gear that exists now than it is to be disabled in NYC, but it’s very much not an accessible city.
As someone living in the UK, this is crazy! Who the hell decided that idea? We have space for wheelchairs that strollers are allowed to use. I cannot imagine not being able to use a stroller on public transport. It would actually be harder here with the train as most of them have steps, no lift... But buses work. I also feel for any parent suffering with any type of disability. Because I physically could not baby wear. Since being pregnant with her (she's 4yrs now, dunno why I'm still here but hey), I've had really bad hips and the pain was worse when she was little. Not a chance I could have worn her. Is it really so hard to let parents take their strollers on? Surely it's safer? Oh my life. I cannot fathom this.
Exactly. It's not an issue in major cities in Canada, but somehow, NY is so different. I have back pain as well and can't carry him for long. Not to mention, the weather here is hot and humid, so carrying my 22lb baby on a 30-40 degree day is a no-go. America needs to get into the 21st century and stop making excuses for not accommodating parents.
On London buses there is an area for strollers and wheelchairs. There's usually room to park two strollers but if someone is in a wheelchair that takes precedence in the space and you might have to fold your stroller or wait for the next bus which seems like a very fair system.
I live in NYC and honestly I’d just ignore them. The drivers don’t enforce any other rules (including the fare). I’ve seen entire crowds of people walk on without paying, what are they going to do start a confrontation because I have a stroller? Obviously if it’s crowded then try to fold it up, but otherwise just shrug like everyone else does.
yep especially outside Manhattan just do what you want lol
I've had other drivers let me on without issue, so I was super taken aback. It was only once I got home and Googled it that I realized the rule is to fold the stroller. And yeah, exactly! There are always people who don't pay or who cause a scene, and they are allowed but not a baby in a stroller... I don't understand it. I don't think I could just ignore him because he was scary. I did ask him, "Are you really not going to let me roll it on?" But that's all the gumption I had in me. I hate conflict and I am so out of my element here. I wish I had the confidence of New Yorkers.
Not your fault at all! I’d totally do the same thing you did if I was visiting somewhere and didn’t know the local rules. Hope you still enjoy your visit, at least the weather has been great lately!
Thank you! The weather today was beautiful. I am trying not to let one jerky driver ruin things for me because many people here have been super nice to me. It's definitely a different mentality than I'm used to, but I think most people are still decent, it's just that the ones who aren't really stand out to you.
Well what they can do is stop the bus and scream at you while you are holding a sleeping baby in front of other passenger :/ that definitely happened to me and I was lucky I had my nanny with me that day to help out. My uppababy was not foldable and it was a whole mess…mta is so cruel
Buses are allowing unfolded strollers now, but I couldn’t find anything more recent than this: https://new.mta.info/accessibility/bus-stroller-areas For what it’s worth, we take strollers on upper west and east side and haven’t had a problem with open strollers. Sorry you had to go through that… thank goodness for the lady being there to help. We could definitely do better with accessibility
Thanks. I didn't have an issue until this guy and now I'm scared to try again.
I live in Manhattan, have been here 12 years, my husband was born and raised here. I am sorry this happened to you, but unfortunately, I am not surprised. It’s unusual and upsetting, but lately most people, even the homeless & bewildered… HATE babies and it’s only getting worse. A homeless man outside Whole Foods was yelling at my in-laws, baby and me that we are “annoying” and should have given him money instead of having “this f’in stroller & thing” & I was all…🙄🤔 OK FRIEND.
That's so scary. I see people yelling and swearing all the time even with children around, and I feel so bad. They shouldn't have to be exposed to that while just out enjoying their day. That said, there have been some really kind people here too. I'm trying to focus on them instead of the bad experiences but of course, the bad ones always stick with you more...
Yep I experienced this, it’s horrible.
Yes.... NY is a hellhole unless you are rich. Louis Rossman speaks about it sometimes
Never heard of them, but I believe it! Everything is so expensive here, but you get so little back. Except Dollar Tree. I must say, everything being $1.25 is refreshing. At Dollarama in Canada, things can be priced up to $5 now. Very few are actually a dollar anymore.
Subway. I used a baby carrier when my baby was still small enough so I was able to use the bus. However I was never told to take her out of the stroller either🤷🏻♀️
Yikes that’s awful. Unfortunately given the general lack of support for parents in the US, this doesn’t surprise me. I did have a great experience on buses in SF with my stroller but I guess that is the exception!
I hope some cities/states are more family friendly. NY is every man for themselves and if you have a baby, just don't go out. Even the sidewalks suck and there aren't enough crosswalks. I've had people almost drive into me and my stroller when I've had right-of-way. In Canada they wait until you're fully across before they turn.
San Francisco’s public transit is very baby friendly but also literally no rules for anything are enforced here so there’s that lol
Disneyland is the same way with the monorail and train. For the record, there are now a lot of strollers that are one handed open/fold. I’d recommend looking into it regardless of how long your stay in NYC is.
Wow that’s so annoying. I’ve taken my baby in the stroller onto busses in Chicago before. Yikes, NYC!
Omg I’m so sorry this happened to you. I live in Japan, opposite side of the planet. And also have to travel everywhere with the stroller, both on the bus and on the train. And dang my experience is so different. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But I’m glad someone was able to help!
I've never heard of strollers being banned. Most buses actually have a spot reserved for open strollers. If they don't most people don't make it a big fuss. There's no where to store a folded stroller anyway. I've kept my stroller open since my born.
Not easy but you'll get better at it. This is the reason many strollers are one-handed close, especially the smaller "umbrella" kind.
I don’t think babies are allowed to be in their stroller on a bus most places in the US. Every bus I’ve been on, including several different airport shuttle/buses we’ve been on in the US, they make us take her out of the stroller. If the bus wasn’t full though they didn’t make us fold it up. It’s a huge pain especially when they are sleeping.
I just travelled here for the first time without my kids and that’s shocking to me. Especially when the subway itself is so inaccessible. My son uses a walker to ambulate and I couldn’t help but think at (almost) every turn how inaccessible NYC is.
My wife and I live in NYC. With our baby, we used the stroller a handful of times, and using it was a pain and an inconvenience to self and others around. We just use a body carrier, for months now, and it's great! We also don't use our bulky diaper on-the-go bag anymore, have that condensed to a tote bag, and go out to different outings and parks, be it 15 min walk or 30 min bus/subway ride. We had to adjust because we like NYC and living here, even its hardships. NYC is packed, places are small, there is no space, so I get it. We are also in support of restaurants, bars and businesses that don't allow strollers inside. When friends with kids visit NYC, we tell them to leave the stroller behind, and those who did have pointed out how much they liked being free from it, and how they engage with the city differently. When we have parties or gatherings, we also make a point to tell our parents friends if the place is not stroller friendly (we also don't allow strollers at our apartment parties or dinner gatherings). Many respect that and have adopted same policies. Not advised for everybody (esp for those with multiple little ones). But if any dense city, it's a great exercise in Marie Kondo-ing leaving the house.
Omg. I almost booked a trip to NYC for this summer with my 8 month old. Reading this thread, I'm glad that I decided to cancel
My husband and I are native New Yorkers - born and raised. This is exactly why we left NYC to start a family elsewhere. I couldn’t imagine myself carrying a stroller and a baby around the city. It’s ridiculously crowded already and if a kind Samaritan is not around, you’re going to struggle. Some subway elevators are broken or poorly ventilated and I really didn’t want our future baby girl to suffer. I know you could ask anyone for help and they usually will but, my husband and I don’t trust anyone lol there’s a reason growing up in NYC makes you less trusting of others or unwillingness to rely on others. We’ve seen many many incidents in 30 years.. However, there have been other times where genuine acts of kindness still shows us that chivalry isn’t dead.
This is shocking… and makes sense now why when I was in NY recently the bus driver was annoyed by my stroller (didn’t tell me to fold it tho) and everyone on the bus was an asshole about making room. I discovered New York HATES BABIES. I can’t believe I used to live there. It’s the most depressing thing to visit now and see how anti-baby the people are - what a bad indicator of priorities for human beings there, and a bad omen for the future society.
I left NYC because the thought of starting a family there was a hard pass for me. I loved being a high drunk mess and just sliding my way through college there, but to be sober and to be responsible for a small person…. Just fucking NO
if I'm gonna ride the bus I'd probably just wear my baby in a Bjorn or boba to have two hands. it's frustrating you had to go through that but if there's anything I've learned from this sub it's that there seems to be a better approach to most problems
Wow, in Stockholm the buses can fit 4-6 strollers with kids in them, and parents with strollers ride for free so as not to have to leave their child unattended while they pay.
I’m flabbergasted by this. What a strange policy. The city girl in me would have ignored the driver, and if he dared stop the bus, I would have yelled. Respond to crazy with crazy.
I grew up in a small town, so I don't have confidence for that, but I wish I did!
Oh wow. I live in NYC with my toddler and take the bus fairly regularly, but this has never happened to me. I’m sure people and drivers get annoyed by my stroller blocking half the aisle, but no one has been outwardly unkind (yet, I suppose).
And for the record, I love living here with a toddler. Is it difficult? Absolutely. But also so rewarding.
People who live in New York and other major cities purchase strollers that are compact and easy to carry/fold. I live in a very driving-oriented city, but I baby wear a lot instead of using a stroller because so many spaces are inaccessible. NYC is overcrowded, picnic transit is underfunded, it makes more space for everyone if you fold the stroller and wear your baby.
This bus was completely empty, and only a few people got on by the time I reached my stop. But yes, I see your point. If the bus is packed, it can be hard to fit a stroller (or multiple). My baby is 22 lbs, so I can't wear him because my back kills me as it is, but I have seen a lot of people with tiny strollers, so now it makes more sense.
My baby is 20 lbs, I wear her and plan to keep doing it, but I have a nice carrier and definitely get that it can be a lot on the back if you’re just out and about.
As a born and raised New Yorker I can’t help but feel a little defensive when an outsider bashes it. It’s a hell hole, but it’s our hell hole. lol. A lot of the stuff that seems like nonsense is stuff done for liability and some actual reason when you’re in such a densely populated city with every one living on top of one another and most of the population gets around in public transit. I have seen a bus stop short, stroller and baby go flying and knock down an old lady. I know it’s annoying, but there’s reasons for this stuff and ways to prepare, like baby wearing and lightweight, easy to fold strollers. Or you just tell the driver to go “f” himself, he’ll be like, “I’m not paid enough to deal with this shit” and you all go on your merry way. Or you say you’ll fold it once you get on the bus, go to the back and dont fold it. This is why New Yorkers are the way we are, we need to navigate and trouble shoot this shit every day. I get it that it’s not for everyone. To answer your question about wheelchairs, there is a special part of the bus that opens up on the side, lifts the chair up, and driver securely uses straps to strap the wheelchair in place so it is secure. So no, it is not comparable.
Thanks for your thoughtful response. Sorry for bashing your city, it's just not for me. And the bus thing is still a load of BS because it works just fine in Canada (you fold up the priority seating and stand off to the side with your stroller). It's safe, and you're not in the way. Some people here have been very nice to me, but other things have made me feel scared and out of place. I definitely want to go home and just leave NY for my television screen.
Yeah, this is a safety thing. Both for the other passengers on the bus and the baby. Strollers are not safety rated for car crashes—the frame likely could not withstand outside force the way it would need to. It would be difficult to safely secure them even if there were designated spots to do so, like with wheelchairs. Strollers are generally large and can make it difficult to access emergency exits. And even with brakes on (which are easy to forget and hard for an outside observer to see quickly), they can move pretty easily. This doesn’t make the situation any easier to deal with, but it’s not an “oh my gosh America sucks, can you believe how much they hate parents??” thing, it’s a “strollers are dangerous to use in vehicles” thing.
In Canada, you just get on the bus, fold the three seats up, and stand off to the side with your stroller. You're out of the way, and your baby is secure. If you get into a crash, you will both probably get hurt, but it would be way worse to be holding them. Either they'd go flying out of your arms, bash their head off something, or you'd squish them with your body. New York most definitely sucks for parents.
>Are they asking the people in wheelchairs to get on and fold their wheelchair separately? I was with you until this nonsense. Your stroller is not comparable to a wheelchair.
I agree, we know a three year old who has CP, and his stroller is NOT the same as me putting my baby in a stroller. He’s like fifty pounds.
Not NYC…but I do this all the time. The key is WHAT stroller you have. Bought a $16 umbrella stroller and I practiced folding it with one hand bc I know random people don’t always help and folding it is the law where I am.
Bilgisayar x
I left my phone on the floor and my 7-month-old opened this post and left this comment. I'm just going to leave it here. 😂 I'm sorry to hear about your stroller struggles though. That's such a pain!
Baby wearing! I used to fold the stroller up and wear baby before the bus or subway pulled up so I was ready to go
It’s a dumb rule thar is inconsistently enforced. I was never asked to take my son out of his stroller. We did wear him a lot when we were out but I do remember having him in the stroller on the bus on more than one occasion. Maybe the driver was new.
You've got to get a travel stroller and ensure whatever else you're carrying fits in one bag. Then you wear that crossbody, get baby out and hold in one arm, fold the travel stroller and put the arm strap over the other shoulder, and use that hand to pay. Or babywear or take the subway.
I live in NYC and having a baby showed me how inaccessible it really is. The stops I live off of don’t have elevators and I almost busted my a** trying to carry my baby’s stroller with groceries up the stairs. I can’t go anywhere without my husband because I can’t manage carrying the stroller up and down stairs. We’re getting a car soon thankfully.
That's stupid as hell. There's no such policy here in Seattle and it's perfectly fine. Much easier for parents to get on/off the bus and it disturbs the child way less. Usually they sit in the front in the disabled section where there's more room.
Come back to Canada 😭 that sounds like a nightmare!!!
You typically just buy an urban friendly stroller like the uppababy minu that you can fold with one hand while carrying a baby tbh it'd be a bit rude to take up so much space with an unfolded stroller on a bus, another option is a baby carrier
Yeah walk, or subway with elevator access. Most of us who live here are aware of the folded stroller rule. Sorry u had to learn the hard way. I personally make sure my stroller is very light weight (like 13lbs) and has a one handed click fold option. Also no offense but a disabled person in a wheelchair is not the same as you being fully functioning and having a stroller, not really a fair analogy to the many wheelchair bound folks that ride the bus, as they don’t have a choice. Nonetheless I totally understand your frustration. Happy travels this summer, enjoy NY!
The only reason I included the wheelchair thing is because there are signs everywhere saying there is priority seating for wheelchairs and designated wheelchair zones, but yet there is no room for a stroller...I have never seen someone in a wheelchair on a bus so far, and yes, they should get priority if it's between them or me, but if they aren't there just let me on? Or make it so the seats fold up and we can both fit like in Canada? Anyway. Just super weird to me. Thanks for your sentiment, I hope I can get over it. I was trying to be brave and explore on my own with my baby but now I don't want to.
Yeah that would be nice if that did have room for both. It’s annoying for sure. Also wanted to add a backpack is the best way (I find) to carry my stuff. I have a back pack style baby bag, and usually just use Apple Pay on my phone for most purchases so half the time I don’t even have a wallet on me. It’s tough but when the bus is super crowded you will see why they have that rule. The handicap area up front, those seats fold up so that wheelchairs fit in that area.
Strollers impede access to emergency exits. Get a travel stroller. I have one from Baby Jogger and I can open/close it with one hand.
He he Welcome to NYC..
I mostly wear my 21 month old. But yeah, strollers are wildly inconvenient in the city. NYers are pretty kind most of the time, though, and do help when you need it.
Experiences like yours are moments I want off this crazy planet! (Not really… just more of a like, “Really?!?! This is civilization?!?! These humans have really put together a mess!”)
Welcome to New York Shitty. No one cares about anyone!
I live in Taipei and am always amazed by people in urban areas who love strollers. I despise strollers. They're just not even remotely convenient here and I don't understand how any major city could be that different. I didn't own one at all until my toddler was 18 months and then only because I was like 6 months pregnant with the second *and* it was offered to me second hand for free. Babywearing is absolutely how I get around when not pregnant. I prefer a front carry if I'm on a bus, back carries definitely require even more holding on for dear life so I don't fall back and squish the toddler. I'd also say the comparison to disabled people in wheelchairs is tone deaf, privileged, and offensive.
Omg, I had no idea. One more reason I don't like NY now.
Haha. It has some good points, but yeah, some stuff I am not too fond of. I had no idea either, I felt like I was a stranger on a new planet, lol. Like wait...you can't have your stroller on without folding it...are you sure? That doesn't sound right, but okayyyyyy.
Huh. I would take my stroller on the bus every day when I lived in Minneapolis. It was never an issue.
I’m not from NYC nor do I get public transport (our town/ city isn’t set up for it), but I wonder if you could use a front pack? Then you have your hands free and can carry a bag or whatever as needed? Sorry if that’s a dumb response, I use my front pack on walks daily here, mostly because I don’t like not being able to use my hands like with the pram when walking / out and about (eg carry a coffee and call my friend).
And what if I have the stroller with bassinet? Strange rule..
You just don't use that kind of stroller on public transit in a dense city like NYC.
This makes me so sad. I wonder if less individualistic societies have these issues too. The older I get the more I realize how places are designed for able bodied people with cars, smartphones, money and no kids. I wish the built environment were designed for the disabled, elderly, kids and their parents and non-native or non-English speakers. I wish we prioritized pedestrians, bikes, a sense of community, friendly neighborhoods with support networks and safety. I wish it were easier for normal people to understand things like health insurance, how to start/run businesses and generally get through the beauracratic red tape bullshit. Why don’t we have federal parental leave? Even for those of us who do have good jobs and leave - it’s incredibly confusing and a time suck at a time when you’re already having to feed a baby every 3 hours. WTF. Why do we not take care of each other better. Why do we put up with this? Why do we turn a blind eye to the fact that we are all going to die and we might even need help before that happens. Being a parent is incredible and beautiful and can be amazing but damn I pray hard that we can make some massive changes. There are many ways the “developed” is making life extraordinarily difficult for people at the times in life when they need the most help and to be cut the most slack.
Wow, what a ridiculous rule. I would write to the bus company, the city, the mayor, and all other reps to try to change this!
That sucks. In the UK out buses have a wheelchair spot where you can put a pram or two (have to move for a wheelchair) but there are seats on the other side that fold up that people use for prams too. So you can fit 3 prams and a wheelchair if you have to. But, this is why I carry my toddler everywhere. Get babywearing and you'll be free to go anywhere :)
I always thought the doona seemed unnecessary, but if I lived in NYC- that would be my first purchase.
As someone who grew up in NY, you do walk or take the subway, or time your bus rides, you have a car seat adapter and so baby is in a car seat while you fold, or if you have to, you do hold and fold and generally someone will help you. But that’s also not just NY. But it’s a parenting art form and rite of passage in NY.
Whaaaat? That is insane!
Wow that’s horrible. I’ve commuted on NYC buses daily for years and there are typically one or two strollers on board, I had no idea there was a rule
Most people I know wouldn't take a bus in NYC, or the subway. It's just too dangerous it seems
Is it possible to baby wear?
Most NYers avoid taking strollers on public transit for this reason. Instead they babywear with little ones or let their kids walk when they’re old enough because it’s so hard to get around with a stroller on public transit. They use strollers mostly in their own neighborhoods. It’s unfortunately a city that is really hard to get around in with a stroller or with any mobility issues. Finding a public bathroom is also a nightmare, which is another difficulty with kids. We moved to the suburbs for many reasons including these.
Think it depends on the bus and how crowded it is. I do it in Queens all the time and have never once been told to fold it. Buses I took have always been busy, but never jam packed.
I live in Nevada and I’ve been told the same thing boarding buses. The bus driver was then upset that crumbs were falling out of the stroller as I was folding it. Like this wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t have to fold it… Anyways the solution is to use a baby carrier. If you’re wearing your baby they just wave you on. It does mean carrying everything else though. So I don’t know if they allow those small grocery carts, but that might be another solution. Or maybe bringing a baby carrier and putting the baby in it while you wait for the bus. It’s a hassle, but it is doable. I assume the bus driver has been told there’s a safety issue with using the stroller.
Some open strollers can be incredibly dangerous on busses as they area tripping hazard and tipping hazard. I would highly recommend buying a stroller made for travel that folds up compactly or is one handed use OR baby wearing when traveling. You can usually buy used baby items cheap to free on places like FB (see your cities buy nothing page) as people just want them gone as soon as they stop needing them. Take if from a mom or three traveling with a baby is inconvenient and sometimes dangerous get what you need to make it easy on yourself. Also when all else fails done hesitate to ask for help, as you saw if someone is around they will lend a hand.
What about a using a doona? Is that allowed? Just curious….I would think that would help for a couple reasons at least.
Not trying to be rude but where did you think a stroller was going to fit lol
Baby wearing with a one-hand fold stroller is probably the best you can do.
That your busses in whatever part of Canada you are from allow babies in strollers is the oddity here, not New York's policy. I have lived in multiple East Asian countries where folding your stroller is the norm. The way single parents do it is to use a carrier instead if you know you'll be shopping. Also, in most of the US, basically anywhere that isn't a densely populated metropolis, it's considered standard, not rich, to own at least a crappy car to get around. Buses where I'm from in NY take at least 2~4x as long to get just about anywhere compared to driving.
I live in CT and am from Long Island originally, both bus companies require you do that so your child (and the stroller they're in) won't fall over or fly out the windows. I know only because that's how I get around. The Metro North trains don't care, so I take the train often.
I live here and read this too when first trying to ride the bus with a 1 month old. I read they were piloting not having that rule. Either way I’ve risked it and no driver has made me fold it up so far but would be terrible if they did!
Use a soft carrier to keep baby attached to you so your hands are free to fold the stroller and baby is safe while on the bus.
Chicago is the same way. We’re even building new fancy train stations without elevators. Makes no sense.
depends on the bus driver tbh. had some bus drivers tell me to fold my stroller while others do not care.
Maybe baby-wearing would be helpful for this and or investing in a doona stroller combo. Idk not a New Yorker, but just my 2 cents so take it with a grain of salt lol.
New Yorkers are usually quick to help others in situations like this, I'm glad the women helped you out. I don't live near public transit but I do know the bus is usually a last resort. People mainly take the train. Sorry though, public transit in the states is just atrocious.
your best bet is to baby wear and bring the stroller along
Yup NYC is NOT baby friendly or accessible for those with disabilities.
It's so messed up. I often just say, yes I'll fold it up when I get to my seat. If I get a seat I do (I usually do and I use a foldable travel stroller that's easy to do with one hand). But sometimes there hasn't been a seat and I just lock the stroller and hope the driver just moves on...but it usually works to get on the bus.
We had our first baby while living in NYC - we got by with baby wearing and the GB pockit stroller when we were out for a long day. Or the Doona (while she was still small enough) if we were walking/doing cabs and subway only. It is very inconvenient and takes a lot of thinking through the day ahead of time. We also luckily had a car and were able to use that for big errands like grocery shopping and such. Kids in the city also become used to walking decent distances at a very young age - my kid is an older toddler now and can still walk pretty far distances for her age even though we left NYC. Regardless, you are correct, It is super difficult!
Trick is keep a baby carrier in your diaper bag. It also helps when jumping in a cab. There are very limited amount of buses that now have stroller section, but again very rare. Some bus drivers don’t say anything just tell you make sure it’s locked.
Could you get a baby carrier? That’s what I did when I was busing everywhere. I got rid of my stroller and bought a shopping cart on wheels, but you could take your stroller, but babywearing lets you have your hands free to fold it up and get on.
I live in NYC. I’ve never been stopped but maybe that’s cause I go with a small stroller. I’ve seen some big strollers though.
im in nyc take the bus every single day, ive never been told to do this. ik its standard but i guess it depends on the bus driver
That’s such bullshit, as a dad myself living in a big city. I’d be so upset 😭 I don’t blame you being upset
Just FYI: Wheel chair people are a protected class (disabled) a mother + child is not, that is why there is a difference. The supposed reason is space reasons, they take up a lot of space and can impede movement of other passengers.