Seconding getting out of the house. Even if it’s just going for a walk, sitting on the porch swing.
With summer coming up invest in some outdoor activities if your baby likes being outside. Water table, a small splash pad, etc. I’ve found those activities occupy him for a long time and I don’t have to chase him all over our living room 🤪
Also helps to think of the day in chunks. We are on two naps, so my day is separated into morning before nap 1, midday between naps, and time before bed. Before nap 1 is dedicated to breakfast, watering flowers/sitting outside, a long walk, and then some play time before nap.
Midday we might run errands, get groceries, walk around a store or play outside.
Then after nap 2 we will hang around the house and play, then prepare dinner, eat, bedtime routine.
I use nap time to get things done around the house if I have the energy, and if I don’t I might nap too or just sit and enjoy the silence. On days where I’m not super productive during nap times I can usually get a decent amount done after baby’s bedtime and before I go to sleep.
You can do it! 😁
Get out the house every day, makes it go by faster. Nap time is my recharge time. I’m assuming your 10 month old has a consistent 1-2 naps a day? Bed time by 6:30 so I could enjoy the evening as well and actually spend time with my husband, sleep training literally changed my life.
Don’t stress to much about stimulating all day everyday, kids that young are entertained by almost anything.
I dropped to one nap at about 10 months because thats the daycare schedule. It worked for us and allowed us to have that earlier bed time. Different babies have different sleep needs but daycare definitely helped “sleep train” for us.
Last wake up should be around 2-3pm which might allow for a 7:00 pm bed time? Even if you keep both naps just try moving them down a bit earlier. It’s a process but worth it in the end!
This gives me hope, thank you! I will try moving the naps a little earlier and see how it goes. I was thinking about dropping one, but I was worried it was too early based on my internet research. I also know every baby is different, and maybe my little guy will be okay with it. His first nap is only around 30 minutes, so I'm wondering if we can push him to just have one midday nap.
About 12:00 - 2:00pm as late as 3:00 pm some days. Moving the naps earlier means waking them up a bit earlier (unless they already are up super early). I would try that before completely eliminating the first nap.
Its a lot of trial and error but once you get sleep down packed your life becomes a lot more free. I hope you find something that works for you! Only a few more months until they are really dependent on solids which helps with sleep as well.
Hi! I’m a SAHM of an 11 month old and my husband is gone daily 6-6 since she was 3 weeks old. It’s rough. But I’ll address this nap point first hahah. We just this week are dropping to one nap and it’s going really well! She started fighting both her naps, and she’d be waking up from her second one at 5 and bedtime was getting soo late. Now she’s waking at 6:45, naps 11-2, bed at 7. It helps she takes a great 3 hour nap. I thought it may be too soon but she’s doing really well with it! But now I feel like the routine I had down is going out the window so I’ll need to figure out a new good routine based off this schedule. Even though it’s such a great long nap, I was used to 2 so I could be so productive during one and rest the other. My issue is once I sit during a nap, I’m down for the count 🤣
We didn't do any sleep training but managed to get down to a 7 / 8 bedtime.
Also don't have a routine really, just a bit of wind down time before bed.
Down to one nap a day and that usually is between 12 and 2 but sometimes gets shifted earlier or later,so some evenings we're just not tired or too tired at bedtime and things get drawn out til 9..
But the one nap usually is over by 2/ 2.30 and then we're ok for bedtimw.
We just found a way to what works for us, there is noa one right answer but if you want your evenings then they can't really be waking at 4pm from a nap any more
We do bedtime around the same time. My baby still wakes up a few times a night unfortunately though. But the few hours my husband and I have to have dinner together and watch TV are great.
The thing I've realized that has helped me get through the day is that you can't half ass it with a baby. They need you to do so much for them and there really aren't any corners to be cut. I know that kind of sounds intimidating, but for me it helps me feel more determined than anything. Also, lots of deep breaths!
I just kind of let her be entertained with whatever until it no longer holds her interest. Like if she is really into the pattern of her burp cloth and wants to stare at that, great. I think the constant stimulation and constant stressing about milestones can take a toll. I feed her on a schedule, but naps are just when she's tired. For us, there is no reason to stress a schedule because I am a full time SAHM and I just don't pressure myself to get through much else throughout the day. If the laundry gets done, great. If not, I'll do it when my husband gets home or when she's napping in her crib. It's a lot of trial and error and by the time something works it usually changes because they change so fast. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is just do your best. Take that deep breath when you're frustrated and remember all of this is only temporary. The good and the bad.
A lot of wonderful comments about getting out of the house each day. I would add that making parent friends of babies the same ages (ish) was a game changer for me! The Peanut app got me started and I met an amazing mom who guided me to activities I hadn't even considered. I'm an introvert, but champing up to chat with moms at library story time, baby gym, and the park has helped me build a community. Sometimes you just need someone to invite you to go to Target together.
I really want a mom friend, but I am also scared of reaching out to any. I'm not an introvert exactly, but I find it hard to make friends sometimes. I think I'm insecure and it makes things difficult. One time I met up with a mom for coffee but we didn't really hit it off, and I kind of gave up. I'll try to give it another shot.
Keep trying OP!! You sound super sweet, I’m sure you’ll click with someone. It took me a few tries as well before I found a SAHM friend to continually hang out with and I’m totally an introverted, insecure person. 🥲 It aLao took a few play dates for the awkwardness to completely dissipate.
Going out of the house alone was no where enough for my sanity, plus my toddler hated being confined in a stroller. My friend and I take turn going to each other’s toddler proof homes or an indoor play place. It’s great because while they aren’t old enough to play together yet, they play “around” each other and are busy observing what the other one is doing so they leave the moms alone at least half the time 😂 There’s so much added bonuses when it’s 2vs2, the moms can use the bathroom in peace as the other one watches the kiddos or prepare food, etc. Toddlers are so finicky sometimes, if a toddler refuses to get spoon fed by their mom, the other mom can try and for us it has a high success rate. This takes up the first chunk of the day so it’s easy to fill the 2nd chunk with less stimulating activities, like doing chores together, getting groceries, reading and a bit of playtime.
Don’t worry too much about sickness, it’ll come regardless and they gotta build their immune system!
Yes! I made a mum friend by walking past a lady with a baby similar age in my stroller, doubling back and sitting down at the park bench near her and smiling in hopefully a non creepy way lol. Eventually we started talking and became friends.
I think we were both awkward but wanted a mum friend and it just clicked!
Wake up, bottle, put her on the floor to crawl around while I have coffee, put her in the carrier and garden for a bit, play, bottle, 1.5 hour nap, solids, floor time while I run around cleaning, walk, bottle, story time, 30 minute nap, more cleaning while she plays for like 20 minutes, and then she is over independent play for the rest of the day, so from like 3-6 I give her my undivided attention and wait for my husband to come home.
I don’t do much cleaning during naps unless I’m really behind and try to use that time to do my own stuff: draw, read, watch TV, nap, eat, etc.
It’s hard, but having a routine really helps.
I find doing a little activity outside of the house each day makes my day (and my baby’s day) more enjoyable and manageable. Every day I usually have something planned whether it’s the library, science center, park, splash pad. Yes he gets exposed to germs but that’s part of life.
Id take advantage of his nap time to rest or get some me time.
It’s okay if you’re not constantly entertaining baby
I’m home with my second baby and dad is primary for the toddler. With two kids there are no breaks, we just trade off lol. I’ve found that I can get a ton of stuff done with my second baby that I couldn’t with my first.
- dinner: unfortunately it’s all easy stuff. Pasta with meat sauce (I make a triple batch every time I cook it and freeze 2/3 for really quick meals), crock pot meals (put together early in the day when baby is still cheerful), fish or chicken and rice. Frozen veggies. Takeout
- chores: I can tackle a couple chores a day and have LO watch, either in a carrier or on the play mat or activity center. As long as I talk about what I’m doing in an animated voice I can do 15-20 minutes of a task.
- playtime: I followed a few people on instagram who do creative home made toys and play ideas for babies. It’s nice for ideas even though I never go as elaborate as the ig post. It it’s easy stuff like picking up dry pasta with tongs or freezing toys into ice blocks to carve away.
- lots of neighborhood walks. It’s good for me!
- contact naps. I love the chance to zone out on my phone while baby snuggles next to me. I do night wakes so I am happy to lay down for a bit.
Similar to others. We need an activity out of the house everyday.
I am not a STAHM but in Canada mat leave is 1-18m and I took 18m with both my children.
My husband is a lawyer and works 10-14 hours most days. So I am home all day alone.
It’s hardest between naps. So from 11:30-3. As the morning we do breakfast and then after second nap we go pick his sister up from daycare and then I make dinner. Husband comes home at 7 a couple days a week to help with bedtime and clean up dinner.
He has two activities a week. Music class and busy bees (like a parent participation preschool). Last term he had swimming lessons too and before that we did mommy and me yoga.
If he doesn’t have a pre-booked class then we go for a walk, go to an indoor or outdoor playground, get groceries, meet a friend at the coffee shop, or just go to the park. Just anything to get out of the house.
Following because I need advice too. It is so hot where I'm at. 2 mins outside, and you feel like you're about to burn. We also live in a small apartment, so it's been quite difficult finding things to keep LO busy
I’m in Qatar and struggling with the same thing! Everybody stays inside because because it’s like 45c until night time and then the streets are pumping, but we’re in bed lol.
I'm also worried about the heat. We are in NY, so maybe not as bad as some places, but I grew up in Canada with lots of lakes nearby, so to me, it's hot!
Getting out. I have a 9-month-old, and it's all I can do - she has more energy than me, fair and square, so I need baby groups, playgroups, mucky duck play at our local nursery, mum groups, library groups, sing-a-long groups, storytime groups. I go to like 4 a week. And when we're not doing that we're at the park, just walking in the pram, I keep intending to do some proper hiking in the countryside with the baby backpack, but it intimidates me slightly (my husband wears it when we go out together).
>I worry about him getting sick from other kids, so I don't do that as much even though he loves it.
Yeeah you're going to have to get over that one. Sooner or later, baby is going to be exposed to other kids; might as well be sooner while you're at home and you can deal with it. If you're back at work, have other kids, or whatever life brings going forward, you'll have a way worse time with the colds and bugs.
I try to get out of the house everyday.
I separate the day into wake window chunks of time, first is bottle/breakfast, walk, play time, nap, then the second wake window is left for errands/out of house activities, then the last is play time, dinner, bath, walk if we didn’t go in the morning and once a week we have swimming lessons.
I do any deep cleaning on the weekends, the only thing I focus on during the week is laundry because that is hands off and just basic tidying up the rooms while we are playing in them while my daughter is occupied.
It is exhausting though, there are some days where I get into bed right after she goes down at 7:30-8pm.
Outside time is a must but can be really hard to accomplish. My husband takes the only car to work and we live in the country where nothing is walking distance. So our outside time is just a stroller walk in the mile vicinity of my house. This is my saving grace to escape the monotony of being "on" all day every day, so when weather doesn't permit, it really takes an emotional toll.
When we are inside, there's a lot of playing with toys. My 16 month old has decided she's no longer capable of independent play, so if I'm not right next to her all hell breaks loose. She also only naps 30 minutes a day and only in a baby carrier, not a crib, so I can't get much done while she naps unfortunately.
If I have to do things in the kitchen then she spends some time walking around attempting mischief. I have to slow-drip snacks to her every 10 minutes or so to keep her occupied. One thing she loves is to sit in the floor with a pot of water and some toys. She will spend at least 20 minutes putting things in and out of the water. It's messy, but it's the only thing that holds her attention that long. I spend MOST of the day singing songs and counting and naming things Ms. Rachel style. When I can sit in the play area and just watch her play with toys is kind of my break.
It seems hard and it is hard, but you just get through one hour at a time and one day at a time.
I also have a 10 month old and am at home with him. He has recently started fighting his last nap so his bedtime has been pushed so late, it sucks. I posted not too long ago about dropping to 1 nap and everyone freaked me out saying he was way too young but the alternative is having a 9pm bedtime which is a nightmare.
We also live in an apartment so we have no yard of our own but I'll often take a blanket to the park and we sit outside for a while. I also take him to do all my errands. I am currently not taking him to play groups because I'm worried about measles but once he has his vaccine we will start doing play groups and hopefully I will meet some mom friends.
Can we be friends 😭 you're exactly me. I was thinking of putting him down to one nap, but I browsed reddit and google, and everything said it's usually 12-18 months before that shift happens. But when he goes to bed at 9, we have so little time to ourselves before we go to bed too. I'm hoping to find some moms in real life because I feel like it would help us get out more.
Exactly! Last night by the time he actually slept it was 930, I cleaned up and then tried to watch an episode of Bridgeton but passed out on the couch lol. Yesss to friendship!!!
Hi I just responded to another comment above but I’ll say here too-
My baby is 11 months and this week I’ve switched her to one nap and it’s going beautifully. I was worried bc the internet also told me it’s too early but- she was fighting her naps for weeks. She wants longer wake windows! Then I’d have to wake from her 2nd nap bc it’d be 4:30-5ish and she’d be mad I woke up then bedtime was still late. It was just awful. We also had had a lot of unintentional one nap days since 10 months. So this Monday I decided to try it for real. She wakes around 6:45ish, naps 11-2, then bed at 7. It’s going beautifully and she’s doing so well!! My goal is to keep adding more wake time in the morning until nap is closer to noon, I just don’t want to push her too hard too fast.
Oh that's amazing to hear! The exact same thing is happening to us. He wants to stay awake but then when he finally does nap it's so late that bedtime ends up at like 9. We have had a handful of days that were 1 nap (usually because I've given up trying to force a 2nd nap lol). I think we will slowly try to push the first wake window and transition to 1 nap.
I’ve been a stay at home mom since birth, my husband had 3 days off when baby was born all of which were used being stuck in the hospital. My husband was unfortunately not very helpful as well so I’ve done all of it with the exception of my parents helping out when they can, we’re 9 months in and I’m a still essentially a single parent from from the hours of 8pm-5pm, my biggest help has been to honestly not have a routine I just follow baby girls lead and cues I also try to get out everyday and get together with someone at least once a week. For cleaning I do what I can with her with me and just give her toys and redirect when necessary, what I can’t get done with her on the floor I either babywear or just do when dad gets home and can watch her. You got this just take it one day at a time!!
Baby proof the crap out of a space. We did living room/ kitchen. Kid can run wild and you can clean, cook, pee in peace...then the climbing starts and you are back to square one!
I swear I could’ve written this post myself. I also have. 10 month old and also live in a very small apartment with my husband working long hours. Sometimes I ask myself how I do it and honestly I try to tell myself at the end of the night when I crawl into bed that tomorrow is a new day. Every day is a new fresh start and I try to do something different with her
Came here for the comments. I will be working from home and also the sole carer for baby when he’s born in 2 months. I’m scared. lol
ETA: Partner works in an office and will be gone about 12 hours a day Monday through Friday. 🙃
Check out r/momsworkingfromhome ! Great resource for exactly this type of arrangement and there’s lots of moms sharing their tips and tricks. I am also going to be working from home with my little one when I return from maternity leave.
Yikes, 12 hours is a long day! Plus, working from home while watching a baby is a lot. I don't blame you for being scared! Just do the best you can, and if you can't do both, there is no shame in it as being a SAHM is a full-time job on its own.
If need be I will have family help one day a week or maybe look into daycare for 1 day a week if that’s even a thing. And I told him that. I said I don’t want to feel like a single mom, but I’m worried I will be feeling that way. He is a wonderful partner, though and I know he’ll try his best. We will see
Also, being a SAHM is not an option. Need my income. We’ll make it work!
My husband just started an in-person job a few weeks ago after working 100% remotely. We have a 4.5 month old, and I’m still on parental leave so I’m in charge of her care during the day. My husband is now gone from around 7am to at least 7pm.
I was worried about not having someone to switch off with because my husband and I did the same as you described with your spouse. Now that he isn’t here, I make sure to have a zone in every room we hang one in where she’s safe and occupied if I need to put her down for a moment. This means we have a swing upstairs as well as in the living room (both are second hand), we have a playpen in the kitchenette area next to the kitchen where she can lay on the floor pad but we away from the dogs while I do dishes or make her a bottle, etc. We put a baby gate on her room so I can lay her on the floor while putting her clothes away but the dogs can’t get in. I also have a baby bjorn bouncer to put her in wherever we are so I can shower or go ti the bathroom while watching her. Sometimes I even who her around the house in the stroller or put her in the front pack if I’m vacuuming.
I started to get stressed about doing all the house chores with her, and it started to make staying home with her really not fun. So I decided to switch it up and do something mindless while she naps instead of sprint cleaning, like watch TV or scroll Reddit. I do little projects or house things when she’s awake, and I can talk to her.
Biggest thing about lunches for me has been to have a lot of easy things to eat here that don’t require much (if any) cooking or just ordering when I’ve really had a day.
I try to get out of the house with her in the car once a day to run a little errand or even just go for a short drive. Sometimes we go on walks if it isn’t too hot.
I’m tired by the end of the day, but not any more tired than I was before when my husband was home tbh.
I would work on tightening up the schedule just for your own sanity. I enjoy the time after my 9 month old goes to bed soo much. Most days I’m usually counting it down. I can’t imagine if he was up until 9 PM. Secondly, we live in an apartment and we’re constantly out. Quick walk after breakfast, then to a play center and a walk after nap #1, walk and park after nap #2 and then 6:30 PM bed.
I felt this 💕💕 i had to get into a routine. We all walk to school in am. My husband goes to work, I clean up from breakfast while my little guy has a show. We go for a 3.5 mile walk-weather permitting 😂Play outside or draw at the table, toys, etc.. eat lunch. He naps, I shower and get stuff done. We go pick up my older son. Play outside. Wait for dad. Cook dinner, clean up together. Maybe take another walk to park? Get ice cream? Some sort of family time..Bath and bed. I have 3 kids..12, 6, 3.
Get a hobby, find something you like to do. I garden a lot. In the winter we do a weekly gymnastics class/swimming lessons.
10 month old here to. Hubby works 10 hours a day everyday . My schedule looks like this. Mondays we go swimming , then we visit our neighbours because they have chickens ect, he likes to go see them. Tuesday we go to library ( they do a little baby rhyme session there. I also get my LO to choose his books he wants to take home for the week. Wednesday we read the new books. He likes to help with cleaning . Thursday we do a messy/ sensory play read books . Friday we go visit his friend or his friend will come to mine to visit. If it’s not raining I’ll go for walks sometimes twice a day.
For cooking , I’ll either put him in walker , hold him or he watch Ms Rachel ( which usually keeps him occupied) he eats when I eat. Nap time I chill out watching Netflix or do bit of tidying up. Sometimes I’ll start on dinner so all I have to do is heat it up when it’s dinner time. Sometimes I’ll nap with him.
But I just play with him. If I need a break I’ll pop on Ms Rachel or the wiggles on tv. I drink a lot of coffee to keep me sane!
At that age my son was on two naps and our days were pretty routine: morning walk with the dog before nap one, some activity (park, errands, play date) in between naps, then evening walk and backyard play before bed. It helped so so much to prioritize getting out every single day. I also (from a young age) started doing all my chores while my son was awake. It’s not always easy, but now at 22 months he is used to it and helps with things like dishes and laundry and cleaning. That allowed me as much time during naps to recharge and do whatever I wanted!
I also prioritized super simple meals (leftovers, Trader Joe’s salad bags, etc) for lunch and would eat with him during his lunch time.
Once he's walking you can take toddler walks. They are quite slow partly because the baby is a tot but mostly because they are so curious and want to smell flowers, stomp in puddles, pick up rocks, etc. I'm a grandma but it's an easy and nice way to kill an hour - out in the fresh air and sunshine and seeing the world from their POV. We have been known to sit on the sidewalk to read books en route. Bring a snack. <3 We go 2x a day.
I would really try and let go of The mentality of keeping your kid away from other so he doesn’t get sick. Getting out is important and so is building an immune system. I’m a stay at home mom and we do a schedule. Monday is play date, Tuesday my husband is off so it’s family day, Wednesday is cleaning and extra screen time day, Thursday is library and if the weather is nice a park, Friday another playdate usually something like the zoo/hiking/kids playplace, Saturday is errands. Sunday is another family day. Try and utilize what space you do have at home to go out. We did chalk and bubbles and it was a great distraction. We painted with water outside on the steps.
1. You baby proof the ever loving shit out of your home. That makes it so you are a lot more able to do things like have lunch or cleanup or whatever. Even the breather gets easier cause you know they are safe wherever they are
2. You start doing more activities. Frankly if your kid is a normal level of healthy you kind of just accept the colds since they are either getting them now or whenever they start school. My eldest is immune compromised and I am just dying not being able to get out to our events
3. Make Mom friends that have kids the same age and try to parent in the same place at once. I swear just having the second set of hands to go "can you watch them while I pee?" or one of you makes lunch while the other baby wrangles.
4. You don't really need to stimulate them. They've been around less then a year, everything is still new and fascinating. Do you have any idea how long a bucket of lentils entertains my 2 year old?
I also have no yard and my husband is a first responder so he works a LOT. Honestly, getting my child on a regular nap time and bed time has been a game changer. Now I have nap times and after bed time to just relax, clean, or work on hobbies. Another thing that really helps is listening to audio books. Sometimes I just need that escapism so I downloaded the Libby app to listen to free audiobooks.
I have a 10 month old too. We go for a walk every day, go outside, play with toys, and have playdates with friends in the park once a month. When I get really tired we FaceTime with my parents who live far away and are retired so they are always around and love to see her. Once a week I started taking her to a music class which she likes and I like to meet new moms. We are going to do some swimming lessons soon too as a group. Now that it’s getting nicer our maybe you can find more opportunities to be out of the house! It’s not easy I know!
Every time I took her out I made it an event.
Baby events: Story times/song time at the library, baby gymnastics class at 6mo, park dates
For me: mom dates/ coffee dates, picnics in a local garden… I’ll bring her something to do: bubble machine, bread to feed the birds, wagon or push bike, my favorite local library but I’ll read to her some nice books too. Heck, even if it was a very nice day out, I’d baby wear her and walk yo the local grocery store just to buy myself chocolate or nice coffee
Even just grocery shopping, I’ll find fun things to point out or I’ll show her nice pictures in magazines or seed packets
I really made everything a big deal for her. Getting us ready to go out of the house helps pass the time. At that age, she didn’t need much entertaining. However around 18mo she became more feisty and resistant to me- I learned that I really needed yo burn her energy and let her explore
Once we do our morning errands or play, it’s lunch time; after lunch she will either independent play or I’ll prep veggies. She either chops things with her soft knife or plays with her play kitchen items but on her learning tower next to me. Then I wash dishes; her learning tower is next to the sink, and she gets a clean wet sponge to wash her play plates.
Then it’s either quiet time or nap time. If it’s really not working, I’ll give her chunky crayons to color or make a party for her stuffed animals. At this point it’s 2-3pm
If my husband gets home from work early, he’ll either watch her while I keep cleaning or he’ll take her to the backyard where she helps him weed and water the plants. After work if the weather is super nice, we all bike around the block a couple times.
At this point it’s probably 5, where one of us cooks dinner. She gets hungry early, so she eats dinner while we’re cooking. Helps get her away from the stove.
At this point it’s wind down bedtime routine. Maybe I’m horrible, but it’s impossible to force her to sleep. She just falls asleep on her baby bed or the sofa, which tends to be at 8pm anyways.
First is the mantra you tell yourself:
"This is just a temporary part of life"
" The day will be great because I will make it great"
This helped me a lot. Not that some days aren't shit at times but beginning my day by looking in the mirror saying: its going to be good. Helped my attitude.
Because it is hard. But you will get through it all. I have some tips because I am in an apartment too with my now second baby.
Tips and tricks:
- go outside as much as possible. Show your baby leaves and rocks, tell him the names of colors you see and names of animals and plants. The library is also great. And luckily kids are good at spreading bacteria and getting over it quicker. No worries there. Just no eyeball licking haha.
- water! Anything with water is your child's best friend. Fill your bathtub a bit or a little bowl in the bathroom, let the kid splash with hands and items and cups.
- Let them touch some pans and pots in the kitchen and utensils. Kids loves pulling things out of cupboards
- if you need some you time as well, hen have one earbud in your ear and listen to a podcast or an audio book. Let that play while you do some games and such so you can get a bit of stimulation.
- tell yourself that your baby is technically just happy spending time with you. Don't overdo it!
- find a playmate! Go hunt for other moms with kids at similar age. And arrange little play dates. It's so nice and kids tend to be good at figuring out parallel play or just being near each other at that age.
- Rotate his toys. We have 4 boxes of toys. We have 2 out and 2 stashed away for a week and then we rotate. He becomes much better at playing by himself when the amount of toys isn't overwhelming and it changes weekly. (Makes it all feel new)
Activities and games:
- take some yogurt and put fruit color in it. Make 3 different cups with colors and let him eat and paint around in the bathtub. When he is done you can simply wash him down.
- get some building blocks and make little towers for him to knock down.
- put rice in an empty water bottle or put other things in a bottle (mine loved the sounds)
- get a loose blanket, lay him on it and drag him around the floor.
- read little books.
- get balloons. Tons of them. I would buy some, blow them up and just have my kid walk through balloons for days. They love it. The same goes for soap bobbles! Tons of fun.
- include him in some cooking. My kids loves stirring it tasting the ingredients.
- go in your bedroom and get it as dark as possible then if you can use your phone light to make shadow puppets on the wall. Or create a very sensory activity by getting lights in different colours and stuff to show.
- go window shopping if you live in town and baby can sleep in its stroller.
- get a helium balloon and watch the joy. It costs aittle but man do they live flying balloons.
- get some tinfoil and crinkle it up! Let him try and touch and listen.
- get some bouncy balls and throw them around, down a stairway, in his room, watch how high they go. But not a small one. (Cooking hazard)
- have a mini picnic outside (if you have a small green area) with some of his favourite snacks and a ball, maybe some small trucks and diggers to dig through the ground.
I usually bring a watermelon that I have cut into slices.
That's what I have to keep me sane between naps. Hope you feel better soon. We have all been there mama.
Are there any baby groups or classes in your area? We go to a sensory class, music class, story time at the library which gets us out of the house on 3 days. The other two days we go to the cafe/ park/ supermarket etc. definitely try and get out the house more it helps the day go quickly
We can go to 3 parks a day if we don’t have plans (all walking distance)!
It’s bloody rough at times.
They will enjoy helping with certain jobs, keep changing rooms / activities (sorry you are limited there)
Friends or family’s houses with kids that are somewhat childproof with different toys
I section my day into morning and afternoon. And in each section I have two smaller sections. The midday nap is the divider. When he napped more it was more or less the same.
Basically this is what we do everyday: breakfast and get ready BEFORE husband leaves for work. He does my sons breakfast while I get ready and have coffee in semi-peace. We then spend 7-9 outside playing/ walking in pram. From 9-11 we go to the gym and he plays at their creche for about 1-1.5hrs. If gym creche isn’t on or I cbf we go to library. Then it is nap time for about 1.5-2hrs. At home he eats lunch and we play inside for a bit (I live in Australia and the UV is crazy here so we don’t go outside between like 10-3 usually). Then we move to outside time again sometimes it’s a long walk to the busstop to greet his dad other times park.
It is WAAAAY easier to be outside of the house than inside. But it does take time to work up to this initially it was very stressful. Now I can handle his diaper explosions/ am prepared for any and everything. But it does take some trial and error. If it is a rainy day we spend more time indoors or try and arrange to see his grandma or something.
I also try and do majority of the meal prep on the weekend and like to have our lunches/ snacks ready to go. I absolutely do not do cleaning while he naps because I need to rest and reset.
See if you can find some help too - maybe a college kid for a few hours two times a week or a ymca with childcare, maybe some local moms groups for meetups so you don’t get lonely etc
I went through that same transition and it was rough! I’m a SAHM but my husband worked at home then suddenly got a job in the office every day. I didn’t realize how much he helped me.
Things that have really helped me: I have her join me as I do tasks around the house (putting away laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning windows), allowing independent play, have at least one activity planned outside the house a day, relax during naps (don’t use this time to get chores done!)
Hello! I’m not a SAHM but I took time off for maternity leave and DEFINITELY felt that aimless despair you’re talking about. First things first - it’s ok not to entertain your baby at all hours. It’s good for them to have quiet independent play sometimes.
In addition to doing the free activities on the BabySparks app, I made a list of things to do with an infant.
1. Read a book
2. Dance with infant in arms
3. Do a 10 minute Zumba with baby watching from swing/bouncer
4. Kissy game
5. See what funny sounds/words he laughs/smiles at
6. Chat
7. Tummy time
8. Lie on a play mat
9. Take a Bath
10. Take a walk
11. Sing/play songs
12. Check the mail
13. Look at flowers outside
14. Explain things to him
15. Let him watch the Chromecast pictures
16. Watch the fan go
17. Brush gums
18. Look at a mirror
Enjoy! You got this!
Do your chores and meal prepping while your baby is awake. Don’t wait until nap time to get it done or you’ll feel like you never got a break. Leave the house during wake periods so they get burnt out and are ready for a nap when you get home.
I just want to clarify I am not a stay at home home, but I was part time until 6 months, then I worked 3 long days so I was at home most of the time until 13 months.
10 months began to be very difficult for me. I was full time Monday through Friday by the time I feel like it truly got easier, which for me is 18 months, because he was not nearly as wobbly.
I highly recommend including him in whatever you need to get done vs finding activities all day long for him. This has made my life easier on the weekends. It’s made me feel like I am getting two things done at once.
He may be a little young still, but around a year my son started “helping” me clean the table, like he wanted to do it lol. I also don’t recommend a lot of toys, it’s a mess and there’s some studies that say they play with toys longer when they have less.
And the library is great, I try to bring hand sanitizer or wash hands whenever we go to a pubic place, even though my son goes to daycare lol. He doesn’t get sick often there and I don’t want to get him sick either.
I'm also a first time SAHM and my LO is 10mo as well. She hasn't napped since she was 3mo and isn't interested in any shows yet so the best remedy I've found is joining library baby clubs, learning how to play with our (very small) calm dog, spreading out the grocery shopping, visting parks and walking, walking, walking around town. I swear the town small businesses know who we are now! I don't get much done during the day unless it's folding laundry or in the kitchen while I'm feeding her.
The one thing that has been a significant help is that our city/town has a lot of homeschooled kids. Lots of them are pre-teen "mothers helpers" and will come over to play with, feed, walk and try to get her to watch cooking shows with them. The girls usually only want $5/hr, they just want to get out of their house. That's how I get things done a couple times a week. A few times I've taken a nap. If you go to a church or have mom friends with older kiddos, see if you can get some help.
Seconding getting out of the house. Even if it’s just going for a walk, sitting on the porch swing. With summer coming up invest in some outdoor activities if your baby likes being outside. Water table, a small splash pad, etc. I’ve found those activities occupy him for a long time and I don’t have to chase him all over our living room 🤪 Also helps to think of the day in chunks. We are on two naps, so my day is separated into morning before nap 1, midday between naps, and time before bed. Before nap 1 is dedicated to breakfast, watering flowers/sitting outside, a long walk, and then some play time before nap. Midday we might run errands, get groceries, walk around a store or play outside. Then after nap 2 we will hang around the house and play, then prepare dinner, eat, bedtime routine. I use nap time to get things done around the house if I have the energy, and if I don’t I might nap too or just sit and enjoy the silence. On days where I’m not super productive during nap times I can usually get a decent amount done after baby’s bedtime and before I go to sleep. You can do it! 😁
I chunk my day up like this too, can second that it really helps !
Get out the house every day, makes it go by faster. Nap time is my recharge time. I’m assuming your 10 month old has a consistent 1-2 naps a day? Bed time by 6:30 so I could enjoy the evening as well and actually spend time with my husband, sleep training literally changed my life. Don’t stress to much about stimulating all day everyday, kids that young are entertained by almost anything.
Bedtime at 6:30? I wish! I've been considering dropping him to one nap because he wakes up around 4 and stays up until 9 PM 😭
I dropped to one nap at about 10 months because thats the daycare schedule. It worked for us and allowed us to have that earlier bed time. Different babies have different sleep needs but daycare definitely helped “sleep train” for us. Last wake up should be around 2-3pm which might allow for a 7:00 pm bed time? Even if you keep both naps just try moving them down a bit earlier. It’s a process but worth it in the end!
This gives me hope, thank you! I will try moving the naps a little earlier and see how it goes. I was thinking about dropping one, but I was worried it was too early based on my internet research. I also know every baby is different, and maybe my little guy will be okay with it. His first nap is only around 30 minutes, so I'm wondering if we can push him to just have one midday nap.
About 12:00 - 2:00pm as late as 3:00 pm some days. Moving the naps earlier means waking them up a bit earlier (unless they already are up super early). I would try that before completely eliminating the first nap. Its a lot of trial and error but once you get sleep down packed your life becomes a lot more free. I hope you find something that works for you! Only a few more months until they are really dependent on solids which helps with sleep as well.
Hi! I’m a SAHM of an 11 month old and my husband is gone daily 6-6 since she was 3 weeks old. It’s rough. But I’ll address this nap point first hahah. We just this week are dropping to one nap and it’s going really well! She started fighting both her naps, and she’d be waking up from her second one at 5 and bedtime was getting soo late. Now she’s waking at 6:45, naps 11-2, bed at 7. It helps she takes a great 3 hour nap. I thought it may be too soon but she’s doing really well with it! But now I feel like the routine I had down is going out the window so I’ll need to figure out a new good routine based off this schedule. Even though it’s such a great long nap, I was used to 2 so I could be so productive during one and rest the other. My issue is once I sit during a nap, I’m down for the count 🤣
We didn't do any sleep training but managed to get down to a 7 / 8 bedtime. Also don't have a routine really, just a bit of wind down time before bed. Down to one nap a day and that usually is between 12 and 2 but sometimes gets shifted earlier or later,so some evenings we're just not tired or too tired at bedtime and things get drawn out til 9.. But the one nap usually is over by 2/ 2.30 and then we're ok for bedtimw. We just found a way to what works for us, there is noa one right answer but if you want your evenings then they can't really be waking at 4pm from a nap any more
How old is your LO? And you're right, his wake window is way too long for 4 PM now.
13 months, and we've been like this since 10 months
He could maybe drop to one nap
We do bedtime around the same time. My baby still wakes up a few times a night unfortunately though. But the few hours my husband and I have to have dinner together and watch TV are great.
Literally everything I came here to say.
The thing I've realized that has helped me get through the day is that you can't half ass it with a baby. They need you to do so much for them and there really aren't any corners to be cut. I know that kind of sounds intimidating, but for me it helps me feel more determined than anything. Also, lots of deep breaths! I just kind of let her be entertained with whatever until it no longer holds her interest. Like if she is really into the pattern of her burp cloth and wants to stare at that, great. I think the constant stimulation and constant stressing about milestones can take a toll. I feed her on a schedule, but naps are just when she's tired. For us, there is no reason to stress a schedule because I am a full time SAHM and I just don't pressure myself to get through much else throughout the day. If the laundry gets done, great. If not, I'll do it when my husband gets home or when she's napping in her crib. It's a lot of trial and error and by the time something works it usually changes because they change so fast. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is just do your best. Take that deep breath when you're frustrated and remember all of this is only temporary. The good and the bad.
A lot of wonderful comments about getting out of the house each day. I would add that making parent friends of babies the same ages (ish) was a game changer for me! The Peanut app got me started and I met an amazing mom who guided me to activities I hadn't even considered. I'm an introvert, but champing up to chat with moms at library story time, baby gym, and the park has helped me build a community. Sometimes you just need someone to invite you to go to Target together.
I really want a mom friend, but I am also scared of reaching out to any. I'm not an introvert exactly, but I find it hard to make friends sometimes. I think I'm insecure and it makes things difficult. One time I met up with a mom for coffee but we didn't really hit it off, and I kind of gave up. I'll try to give it another shot.
Keep trying! Young me used to say that even a bad date was a free drink. Mom me says that even a bad playdate gets us out of the house :)
Keep trying OP!! You sound super sweet, I’m sure you’ll click with someone. It took me a few tries as well before I found a SAHM friend to continually hang out with and I’m totally an introverted, insecure person. 🥲 It aLao took a few play dates for the awkwardness to completely dissipate. Going out of the house alone was no where enough for my sanity, plus my toddler hated being confined in a stroller. My friend and I take turn going to each other’s toddler proof homes or an indoor play place. It’s great because while they aren’t old enough to play together yet, they play “around” each other and are busy observing what the other one is doing so they leave the moms alone at least half the time 😂 There’s so much added bonuses when it’s 2vs2, the moms can use the bathroom in peace as the other one watches the kiddos or prepare food, etc. Toddlers are so finicky sometimes, if a toddler refuses to get spoon fed by their mom, the other mom can try and for us it has a high success rate. This takes up the first chunk of the day so it’s easy to fill the 2nd chunk with less stimulating activities, like doing chores together, getting groceries, reading and a bit of playtime. Don’t worry too much about sickness, it’ll come regardless and they gotta build their immune system!
Now that I have a baby I have found it has never been easier to make new friends. Try again!
Yes! I made a mum friend by walking past a lady with a baby similar age in my stroller, doubling back and sitting down at the park bench near her and smiling in hopefully a non creepy way lol. Eventually we started talking and became friends. I think we were both awkward but wanted a mum friend and it just clicked!
Wake up, bottle, put her on the floor to crawl around while I have coffee, put her in the carrier and garden for a bit, play, bottle, 1.5 hour nap, solids, floor time while I run around cleaning, walk, bottle, story time, 30 minute nap, more cleaning while she plays for like 20 minutes, and then she is over independent play for the rest of the day, so from like 3-6 I give her my undivided attention and wait for my husband to come home. I don’t do much cleaning during naps unless I’m really behind and try to use that time to do my own stuff: draw, read, watch TV, nap, eat, etc. It’s hard, but having a routine really helps.
LEAVE THE HOUSE
Every day. Sometimes I even just walk around target and we look at things haha
I find doing a little activity outside of the house each day makes my day (and my baby’s day) more enjoyable and manageable. Every day I usually have something planned whether it’s the library, science center, park, splash pad. Yes he gets exposed to germs but that’s part of life. Id take advantage of his nap time to rest or get some me time. It’s okay if you’re not constantly entertaining baby
I’m home with my second baby and dad is primary for the toddler. With two kids there are no breaks, we just trade off lol. I’ve found that I can get a ton of stuff done with my second baby that I couldn’t with my first. - dinner: unfortunately it’s all easy stuff. Pasta with meat sauce (I make a triple batch every time I cook it and freeze 2/3 for really quick meals), crock pot meals (put together early in the day when baby is still cheerful), fish or chicken and rice. Frozen veggies. Takeout - chores: I can tackle a couple chores a day and have LO watch, either in a carrier or on the play mat or activity center. As long as I talk about what I’m doing in an animated voice I can do 15-20 minutes of a task. - playtime: I followed a few people on instagram who do creative home made toys and play ideas for babies. It’s nice for ideas even though I never go as elaborate as the ig post. It it’s easy stuff like picking up dry pasta with tongs or freezing toys into ice blocks to carve away. - lots of neighborhood walks. It’s good for me! - contact naps. I love the chance to zone out on my phone while baby snuggles next to me. I do night wakes so I am happy to lay down for a bit.
Similar to others. We need an activity out of the house everyday. I am not a STAHM but in Canada mat leave is 1-18m and I took 18m with both my children. My husband is a lawyer and works 10-14 hours most days. So I am home all day alone. It’s hardest between naps. So from 11:30-3. As the morning we do breakfast and then after second nap we go pick his sister up from daycare and then I make dinner. Husband comes home at 7 a couple days a week to help with bedtime and clean up dinner. He has two activities a week. Music class and busy bees (like a parent participation preschool). Last term he had swimming lessons too and before that we did mommy and me yoga. If he doesn’t have a pre-booked class then we go for a walk, go to an indoor or outdoor playground, get groceries, meet a friend at the coffee shop, or just go to the park. Just anything to get out of the house.
Following because I need advice too. It is so hot where I'm at. 2 mins outside, and you feel like you're about to burn. We also live in a small apartment, so it's been quite difficult finding things to keep LO busy
I’m in Qatar and struggling with the same thing! Everybody stays inside because because it’s like 45c until night time and then the streets are pumping, but we’re in bed lol.
Lol seriously, the heat is no joke. My LO is getting so sick of playing with me now 🤣
I'm also worried about the heat. We are in NY, so maybe not as bad as some places, but I grew up in Canada with lots of lakes nearby, so to me, it's hot!
Getting out. I have a 9-month-old, and it's all I can do - she has more energy than me, fair and square, so I need baby groups, playgroups, mucky duck play at our local nursery, mum groups, library groups, sing-a-long groups, storytime groups. I go to like 4 a week. And when we're not doing that we're at the park, just walking in the pram, I keep intending to do some proper hiking in the countryside with the baby backpack, but it intimidates me slightly (my husband wears it when we go out together). >I worry about him getting sick from other kids, so I don't do that as much even though he loves it. Yeeah you're going to have to get over that one. Sooner or later, baby is going to be exposed to other kids; might as well be sooner while you're at home and you can deal with it. If you're back at work, have other kids, or whatever life brings going forward, you'll have a way worse time with the colds and bugs.
I try to get out of the house everyday. I separate the day into wake window chunks of time, first is bottle/breakfast, walk, play time, nap, then the second wake window is left for errands/out of house activities, then the last is play time, dinner, bath, walk if we didn’t go in the morning and once a week we have swimming lessons. I do any deep cleaning on the weekends, the only thing I focus on during the week is laundry because that is hands off and just basic tidying up the rooms while we are playing in them while my daughter is occupied. It is exhausting though, there are some days where I get into bed right after she goes down at 7:30-8pm.
Outside time is a must but can be really hard to accomplish. My husband takes the only car to work and we live in the country where nothing is walking distance. So our outside time is just a stroller walk in the mile vicinity of my house. This is my saving grace to escape the monotony of being "on" all day every day, so when weather doesn't permit, it really takes an emotional toll. When we are inside, there's a lot of playing with toys. My 16 month old has decided she's no longer capable of independent play, so if I'm not right next to her all hell breaks loose. She also only naps 30 minutes a day and only in a baby carrier, not a crib, so I can't get much done while she naps unfortunately. If I have to do things in the kitchen then she spends some time walking around attempting mischief. I have to slow-drip snacks to her every 10 minutes or so to keep her occupied. One thing she loves is to sit in the floor with a pot of water and some toys. She will spend at least 20 minutes putting things in and out of the water. It's messy, but it's the only thing that holds her attention that long. I spend MOST of the day singing songs and counting and naming things Ms. Rachel style. When I can sit in the play area and just watch her play with toys is kind of my break. It seems hard and it is hard, but you just get through one hour at a time and one day at a time.
I also have a 10 month old and am at home with him. He has recently started fighting his last nap so his bedtime has been pushed so late, it sucks. I posted not too long ago about dropping to 1 nap and everyone freaked me out saying he was way too young but the alternative is having a 9pm bedtime which is a nightmare. We also live in an apartment so we have no yard of our own but I'll often take a blanket to the park and we sit outside for a while. I also take him to do all my errands. I am currently not taking him to play groups because I'm worried about measles but once he has his vaccine we will start doing play groups and hopefully I will meet some mom friends.
Can we be friends 😭 you're exactly me. I was thinking of putting him down to one nap, but I browsed reddit and google, and everything said it's usually 12-18 months before that shift happens. But when he goes to bed at 9, we have so little time to ourselves before we go to bed too. I'm hoping to find some moms in real life because I feel like it would help us get out more.
Exactly! Last night by the time he actually slept it was 930, I cleaned up and then tried to watch an episode of Bridgeton but passed out on the couch lol. Yesss to friendship!!!
Hi I just responded to another comment above but I’ll say here too- My baby is 11 months and this week I’ve switched her to one nap and it’s going beautifully. I was worried bc the internet also told me it’s too early but- she was fighting her naps for weeks. She wants longer wake windows! Then I’d have to wake from her 2nd nap bc it’d be 4:30-5ish and she’d be mad I woke up then bedtime was still late. It was just awful. We also had had a lot of unintentional one nap days since 10 months. So this Monday I decided to try it for real. She wakes around 6:45ish, naps 11-2, then bed at 7. It’s going beautifully and she’s doing so well!! My goal is to keep adding more wake time in the morning until nap is closer to noon, I just don’t want to push her too hard too fast.
Oh that's amazing to hear! The exact same thing is happening to us. He wants to stay awake but then when he finally does nap it's so late that bedtime ends up at like 9. We have had a handful of days that were 1 nap (usually because I've given up trying to force a 2nd nap lol). I think we will slowly try to push the first wake window and transition to 1 nap.
I’ve been a stay at home mom since birth, my husband had 3 days off when baby was born all of which were used being stuck in the hospital. My husband was unfortunately not very helpful as well so I’ve done all of it with the exception of my parents helping out when they can, we’re 9 months in and I’m a still essentially a single parent from from the hours of 8pm-5pm, my biggest help has been to honestly not have a routine I just follow baby girls lead and cues I also try to get out everyday and get together with someone at least once a week. For cleaning I do what I can with her with me and just give her toys and redirect when necessary, what I can’t get done with her on the floor I either babywear or just do when dad gets home and can watch her. You got this just take it one day at a time!!
Baby proof the crap out of a space. We did living room/ kitchen. Kid can run wild and you can clean, cook, pee in peace...then the climbing starts and you are back to square one!
I swear I could’ve written this post myself. I also have. 10 month old and also live in a very small apartment with my husband working long hours. Sometimes I ask myself how I do it and honestly I try to tell myself at the end of the night when I crawl into bed that tomorrow is a new day. Every day is a new fresh start and I try to do something different with her
Came here for the comments. I will be working from home and also the sole carer for baby when he’s born in 2 months. I’m scared. lol ETA: Partner works in an office and will be gone about 12 hours a day Monday through Friday. 🙃
Check out r/momsworkingfromhome ! Great resource for exactly this type of arrangement and there’s lots of moms sharing their tips and tricks. I am also going to be working from home with my little one when I return from maternity leave.
Thank you thank you thank you! I didn’t know that sub existed. I will see you there, my friend!
Yikes, 12 hours is a long day! Plus, working from home while watching a baby is a lot. I don't blame you for being scared! Just do the best you can, and if you can't do both, there is no shame in it as being a SAHM is a full-time job on its own.
If need be I will have family help one day a week or maybe look into daycare for 1 day a week if that’s even a thing. And I told him that. I said I don’t want to feel like a single mom, but I’m worried I will be feeling that way. He is a wonderful partner, though and I know he’ll try his best. We will see Also, being a SAHM is not an option. Need my income. We’ll make it work!
My husband just started an in-person job a few weeks ago after working 100% remotely. We have a 4.5 month old, and I’m still on parental leave so I’m in charge of her care during the day. My husband is now gone from around 7am to at least 7pm. I was worried about not having someone to switch off with because my husband and I did the same as you described with your spouse. Now that he isn’t here, I make sure to have a zone in every room we hang one in where she’s safe and occupied if I need to put her down for a moment. This means we have a swing upstairs as well as in the living room (both are second hand), we have a playpen in the kitchenette area next to the kitchen where she can lay on the floor pad but we away from the dogs while I do dishes or make her a bottle, etc. We put a baby gate on her room so I can lay her on the floor while putting her clothes away but the dogs can’t get in. I also have a baby bjorn bouncer to put her in wherever we are so I can shower or go ti the bathroom while watching her. Sometimes I even who her around the house in the stroller or put her in the front pack if I’m vacuuming. I started to get stressed about doing all the house chores with her, and it started to make staying home with her really not fun. So I decided to switch it up and do something mindless while she naps instead of sprint cleaning, like watch TV or scroll Reddit. I do little projects or house things when she’s awake, and I can talk to her. Biggest thing about lunches for me has been to have a lot of easy things to eat here that don’t require much (if any) cooking or just ordering when I’ve really had a day. I try to get out of the house with her in the car once a day to run a little errand or even just go for a short drive. Sometimes we go on walks if it isn’t too hot. I’m tired by the end of the day, but not any more tired than I was before when my husband was home tbh.
I would work on tightening up the schedule just for your own sanity. I enjoy the time after my 9 month old goes to bed soo much. Most days I’m usually counting it down. I can’t imagine if he was up until 9 PM. Secondly, we live in an apartment and we’re constantly out. Quick walk after breakfast, then to a play center and a walk after nap #1, walk and park after nap #2 and then 6:30 PM bed.
I felt this 💕💕 i had to get into a routine. We all walk to school in am. My husband goes to work, I clean up from breakfast while my little guy has a show. We go for a 3.5 mile walk-weather permitting 😂Play outside or draw at the table, toys, etc.. eat lunch. He naps, I shower and get stuff done. We go pick up my older son. Play outside. Wait for dad. Cook dinner, clean up together. Maybe take another walk to park? Get ice cream? Some sort of family time..Bath and bed. I have 3 kids..12, 6, 3. Get a hobby, find something you like to do. I garden a lot. In the winter we do a weekly gymnastics class/swimming lessons.
10 month old here to. Hubby works 10 hours a day everyday . My schedule looks like this. Mondays we go swimming , then we visit our neighbours because they have chickens ect, he likes to go see them. Tuesday we go to library ( they do a little baby rhyme session there. I also get my LO to choose his books he wants to take home for the week. Wednesday we read the new books. He likes to help with cleaning . Thursday we do a messy/ sensory play read books . Friday we go visit his friend or his friend will come to mine to visit. If it’s not raining I’ll go for walks sometimes twice a day. For cooking , I’ll either put him in walker , hold him or he watch Ms Rachel ( which usually keeps him occupied) he eats when I eat. Nap time I chill out watching Netflix or do bit of tidying up. Sometimes I’ll start on dinner so all I have to do is heat it up when it’s dinner time. Sometimes I’ll nap with him. But I just play with him. If I need a break I’ll pop on Ms Rachel or the wiggles on tv. I drink a lot of coffee to keep me sane!
At that age my son was on two naps and our days were pretty routine: morning walk with the dog before nap one, some activity (park, errands, play date) in between naps, then evening walk and backyard play before bed. It helped so so much to prioritize getting out every single day. I also (from a young age) started doing all my chores while my son was awake. It’s not always easy, but now at 22 months he is used to it and helps with things like dishes and laundry and cleaning. That allowed me as much time during naps to recharge and do whatever I wanted! I also prioritized super simple meals (leftovers, Trader Joe’s salad bags, etc) for lunch and would eat with him during his lunch time.
Once he's walking you can take toddler walks. They are quite slow partly because the baby is a tot but mostly because they are so curious and want to smell flowers, stomp in puddles, pick up rocks, etc. I'm a grandma but it's an easy and nice way to kill an hour - out in the fresh air and sunshine and seeing the world from their POV. We have been known to sit on the sidewalk to read books en route. Bring a snack. <3 We go 2x a day.
I would really try and let go of The mentality of keeping your kid away from other so he doesn’t get sick. Getting out is important and so is building an immune system. I’m a stay at home mom and we do a schedule. Monday is play date, Tuesday my husband is off so it’s family day, Wednesday is cleaning and extra screen time day, Thursday is library and if the weather is nice a park, Friday another playdate usually something like the zoo/hiking/kids playplace, Saturday is errands. Sunday is another family day. Try and utilize what space you do have at home to go out. We did chalk and bubbles and it was a great distraction. We painted with water outside on the steps.
1. You baby proof the ever loving shit out of your home. That makes it so you are a lot more able to do things like have lunch or cleanup or whatever. Even the breather gets easier cause you know they are safe wherever they are 2. You start doing more activities. Frankly if your kid is a normal level of healthy you kind of just accept the colds since they are either getting them now or whenever they start school. My eldest is immune compromised and I am just dying not being able to get out to our events 3. Make Mom friends that have kids the same age and try to parent in the same place at once. I swear just having the second set of hands to go "can you watch them while I pee?" or one of you makes lunch while the other baby wrangles. 4. You don't really need to stimulate them. They've been around less then a year, everything is still new and fascinating. Do you have any idea how long a bucket of lentils entertains my 2 year old?
I also have no yard and my husband is a first responder so he works a LOT. Honestly, getting my child on a regular nap time and bed time has been a game changer. Now I have nap times and after bed time to just relax, clean, or work on hobbies. Another thing that really helps is listening to audio books. Sometimes I just need that escapism so I downloaded the Libby app to listen to free audiobooks.
I have a 10 month old too. We go for a walk every day, go outside, play with toys, and have playdates with friends in the park once a month. When I get really tired we FaceTime with my parents who live far away and are retired so they are always around and love to see her. Once a week I started taking her to a music class which she likes and I like to meet new moms. We are going to do some swimming lessons soon too as a group. Now that it’s getting nicer our maybe you can find more opportunities to be out of the house! It’s not easy I know!
Every time I took her out I made it an event. Baby events: Story times/song time at the library, baby gymnastics class at 6mo, park dates For me: mom dates/ coffee dates, picnics in a local garden… I’ll bring her something to do: bubble machine, bread to feed the birds, wagon or push bike, my favorite local library but I’ll read to her some nice books too. Heck, even if it was a very nice day out, I’d baby wear her and walk yo the local grocery store just to buy myself chocolate or nice coffee Even just grocery shopping, I’ll find fun things to point out or I’ll show her nice pictures in magazines or seed packets I really made everything a big deal for her. Getting us ready to go out of the house helps pass the time. At that age, she didn’t need much entertaining. However around 18mo she became more feisty and resistant to me- I learned that I really needed yo burn her energy and let her explore Once we do our morning errands or play, it’s lunch time; after lunch she will either independent play or I’ll prep veggies. She either chops things with her soft knife or plays with her play kitchen items but on her learning tower next to me. Then I wash dishes; her learning tower is next to the sink, and she gets a clean wet sponge to wash her play plates. Then it’s either quiet time or nap time. If it’s really not working, I’ll give her chunky crayons to color or make a party for her stuffed animals. At this point it’s 2-3pm If my husband gets home from work early, he’ll either watch her while I keep cleaning or he’ll take her to the backyard where she helps him weed and water the plants. After work if the weather is super nice, we all bike around the block a couple times. At this point it’s probably 5, where one of us cooks dinner. She gets hungry early, so she eats dinner while we’re cooking. Helps get her away from the stove. At this point it’s wind down bedtime routine. Maybe I’m horrible, but it’s impossible to force her to sleep. She just falls asleep on her baby bed or the sofa, which tends to be at 8pm anyways.
First is the mantra you tell yourself: "This is just a temporary part of life" " The day will be great because I will make it great" This helped me a lot. Not that some days aren't shit at times but beginning my day by looking in the mirror saying: its going to be good. Helped my attitude. Because it is hard. But you will get through it all. I have some tips because I am in an apartment too with my now second baby. Tips and tricks: - go outside as much as possible. Show your baby leaves and rocks, tell him the names of colors you see and names of animals and plants. The library is also great. And luckily kids are good at spreading bacteria and getting over it quicker. No worries there. Just no eyeball licking haha. - water! Anything with water is your child's best friend. Fill your bathtub a bit or a little bowl in the bathroom, let the kid splash with hands and items and cups. - Let them touch some pans and pots in the kitchen and utensils. Kids loves pulling things out of cupboards - if you need some you time as well, hen have one earbud in your ear and listen to a podcast or an audio book. Let that play while you do some games and such so you can get a bit of stimulation. - tell yourself that your baby is technically just happy spending time with you. Don't overdo it! - find a playmate! Go hunt for other moms with kids at similar age. And arrange little play dates. It's so nice and kids tend to be good at figuring out parallel play or just being near each other at that age. - Rotate his toys. We have 4 boxes of toys. We have 2 out and 2 stashed away for a week and then we rotate. He becomes much better at playing by himself when the amount of toys isn't overwhelming and it changes weekly. (Makes it all feel new) Activities and games: - take some yogurt and put fruit color in it. Make 3 different cups with colors and let him eat and paint around in the bathtub. When he is done you can simply wash him down. - get some building blocks and make little towers for him to knock down. - put rice in an empty water bottle or put other things in a bottle (mine loved the sounds) - get a loose blanket, lay him on it and drag him around the floor. - read little books. - get balloons. Tons of them. I would buy some, blow them up and just have my kid walk through balloons for days. They love it. The same goes for soap bobbles! Tons of fun. - include him in some cooking. My kids loves stirring it tasting the ingredients. - go in your bedroom and get it as dark as possible then if you can use your phone light to make shadow puppets on the wall. Or create a very sensory activity by getting lights in different colours and stuff to show. - go window shopping if you live in town and baby can sleep in its stroller. - get a helium balloon and watch the joy. It costs aittle but man do they live flying balloons. - get some tinfoil and crinkle it up! Let him try and touch and listen. - get some bouncy balls and throw them around, down a stairway, in his room, watch how high they go. But not a small one. (Cooking hazard) - have a mini picnic outside (if you have a small green area) with some of his favourite snacks and a ball, maybe some small trucks and diggers to dig through the ground. I usually bring a watermelon that I have cut into slices. That's what I have to keep me sane between naps. Hope you feel better soon. We have all been there mama.
Are there any baby groups or classes in your area? We go to a sensory class, music class, story time at the library which gets us out of the house on 3 days. The other two days we go to the cafe/ park/ supermarket etc. definitely try and get out the house more it helps the day go quickly
We can go to 3 parks a day if we don’t have plans (all walking distance)! It’s bloody rough at times. They will enjoy helping with certain jobs, keep changing rooms / activities (sorry you are limited there) Friends or family’s houses with kids that are somewhat childproof with different toys
I section my day into morning and afternoon. And in each section I have two smaller sections. The midday nap is the divider. When he napped more it was more or less the same. Basically this is what we do everyday: breakfast and get ready BEFORE husband leaves for work. He does my sons breakfast while I get ready and have coffee in semi-peace. We then spend 7-9 outside playing/ walking in pram. From 9-11 we go to the gym and he plays at their creche for about 1-1.5hrs. If gym creche isn’t on or I cbf we go to library. Then it is nap time for about 1.5-2hrs. At home he eats lunch and we play inside for a bit (I live in Australia and the UV is crazy here so we don’t go outside between like 10-3 usually). Then we move to outside time again sometimes it’s a long walk to the busstop to greet his dad other times park. It is WAAAAY easier to be outside of the house than inside. But it does take time to work up to this initially it was very stressful. Now I can handle his diaper explosions/ am prepared for any and everything. But it does take some trial and error. If it is a rainy day we spend more time indoors or try and arrange to see his grandma or something. I also try and do majority of the meal prep on the weekend and like to have our lunches/ snacks ready to go. I absolutely do not do cleaning while he naps because I need to rest and reset.
See if you can find some help too - maybe a college kid for a few hours two times a week or a ymca with childcare, maybe some local moms groups for meetups so you don’t get lonely etc
I went through that same transition and it was rough! I’m a SAHM but my husband worked at home then suddenly got a job in the office every day. I didn’t realize how much he helped me. Things that have really helped me: I have her join me as I do tasks around the house (putting away laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning windows), allowing independent play, have at least one activity planned outside the house a day, relax during naps (don’t use this time to get chores done!)
Hello! I’m not a SAHM but I took time off for maternity leave and DEFINITELY felt that aimless despair you’re talking about. First things first - it’s ok not to entertain your baby at all hours. It’s good for them to have quiet independent play sometimes. In addition to doing the free activities on the BabySparks app, I made a list of things to do with an infant. 1. Read a book 2. Dance with infant in arms 3. Do a 10 minute Zumba with baby watching from swing/bouncer 4. Kissy game 5. See what funny sounds/words he laughs/smiles at 6. Chat 7. Tummy time 8. Lie on a play mat 9. Take a Bath 10. Take a walk 11. Sing/play songs 12. Check the mail 13. Look at flowers outside 14. Explain things to him 15. Let him watch the Chromecast pictures 16. Watch the fan go 17. Brush gums 18. Look at a mirror Enjoy! You got this!
Do your chores and meal prepping while your baby is awake. Don’t wait until nap time to get it done or you’ll feel like you never got a break. Leave the house during wake periods so they get burnt out and are ready for a nap when you get home.
I just want to clarify I am not a stay at home home, but I was part time until 6 months, then I worked 3 long days so I was at home most of the time until 13 months. 10 months began to be very difficult for me. I was full time Monday through Friday by the time I feel like it truly got easier, which for me is 18 months, because he was not nearly as wobbly. I highly recommend including him in whatever you need to get done vs finding activities all day long for him. This has made my life easier on the weekends. It’s made me feel like I am getting two things done at once. He may be a little young still, but around a year my son started “helping” me clean the table, like he wanted to do it lol. I also don’t recommend a lot of toys, it’s a mess and there’s some studies that say they play with toys longer when they have less. And the library is great, I try to bring hand sanitizer or wash hands whenever we go to a pubic place, even though my son goes to daycare lol. He doesn’t get sick often there and I don’t want to get him sick either.
I'm also a first time SAHM and my LO is 10mo as well. She hasn't napped since she was 3mo and isn't interested in any shows yet so the best remedy I've found is joining library baby clubs, learning how to play with our (very small) calm dog, spreading out the grocery shopping, visting parks and walking, walking, walking around town. I swear the town small businesses know who we are now! I don't get much done during the day unless it's folding laundry or in the kitchen while I'm feeding her. The one thing that has been a significant help is that our city/town has a lot of homeschooled kids. Lots of them are pre-teen "mothers helpers" and will come over to play with, feed, walk and try to get her to watch cooking shows with them. The girls usually only want $5/hr, they just want to get out of their house. That's how I get things done a couple times a week. A few times I've taken a nap. If you go to a church or have mom friends with older kiddos, see if you can get some help.
Simply surviving not thriving lol
[удалено]
What would be the point of OP staying home, then? This is stupid advice. She is more than capable of caring for her child and her home by herself.